Mourl Vs. Beowulf | Fujisawa Vs. Murakumo | Rally Vs. Goul’Dan | Kasuhiku Jinnai Vs. Furrest Gump | Pen Pen Vs. Uura | Gourry Gabriev Vs. Luke Skywalker

 

Weird Wednesday

BoB- Hello folks and welcome to weird wednesday. Here with me today like always is my friend and fight analyst Ralph Gerrard.

Ralph- Hi Bob.

BoB- Tonight we have a very interesting range of fights. Our main
event though will be a show of swordsmanship between Gourrey Gabriev and Luke Skywalker scheduled to take place later in the fight. But now, we have a very interesting opener for you between Beowulf the legendary fighter, and Mourl the beakless Turkey.

Mourl v. Beowulf


Ralph- You know Bob I find it interesting that Beowulf has supposedly killed dragons, and is now being challenged by a beakless turkey…… At least if he had a beak or something….

(Beowulf enters)

BoB- Thanks Ralph. And here comes Beowulf now. He appears to be carrying a few things…

Ralph- Weapons?

BoB Yes, I can make out a hatchet and….. Something that appears to be a bag of stuffing…

Ralph- I think that Beowulf is taking this whole Thanksgiving thing too far Bob.

BoB- Yeah. Beowulf has just entered the ring. Boy that was really a stagnant crowd there Ralph not too many people made any sound at all. And look. Above the crowd! Mourl is sort of flying in! Now we are getting some reaction, as the crowd starts to ignite. Mourl stumbles into the ring over the first rope but abruptly gets right up. Wow! This is a big turkey, he must weigh close to 90 pounds.

Ralph- Yeah, even in the pictures he didn’t look that big. Yes, Mourl is standing a good 3 feet high it looks like.

BoB- Mourl hops over to the center of the ring and tilts his head from side to side. I think he is glaring at Beowulf. And the bell sounds! As our first fight of the night gets under way. Beowulf charges at Mourl with his hatchet and Mourl jumps out of the way, as Beowulf misses. Mourl kicks Beowulf in the side of the leg and trips him!

Ralph- Wow, I didn’t expect mourl to be that strong.

BoB- I don’t think that any on us did Ralph. And Mourl jumps onto the back of Beowulf and starts stomping on his back with his claws. Beowulf back hands Mourl off of him and onto the canvas. Mourl is a bit disorientated I think. Beowulf quickly gets up, charges toward Mourl who is flapping around on the floor, and he punts him into the crowd! That was a fantastic kick, Mourl is really heavy. Mourl about 7 rows back is now severally disorientated, and looks hurt too.

Ralph- Well he was just kicked by someone 200 pounds heavier than him.

BoB- Beowulf grabs his hatchet and sets off into the crowd to get
Mourl.

Ralph- It looks as if Beowulf does not just want to win, but wants to kill Mourl! I think that that shows bad morals there Bob.

BoB- That’s not funny Ralph. Beowulf grabs Mourl by the neck and takes him back into the ring and hits him on the head with the blunt side of the hatchet rendering mourl mostly unconscious.

Ralph- And Beowulf opens the stuffing and conveniently has a pan with him. Wonder how that happen’d

Beowulf- Don’t worry everyone! I will share!!!

BoB- Beowulf really playing to the crowd now as we hear several
assorted boos. This one is over folks, as Beowulf places Mourl’s head on the turnbucle and raises his hatchet.

Ralph- And Beowulf chops off Mourl’s hea…… Holy s%&$!!!!!! Mourl exploded!!!!!

BoB- I don’t think that you can say s%&$, here Ralph. But you’re
right! Mourl exploded destroying almost the entire ring! And leaving
Beowulf in pretty bad condition! I guess there is no winner here Ralph, since Mourl is in millions of little pieces and beowulf is looking
pretty dead….. What is that?!?!

Ralph- It looks like another Mourl coming down from in the rafters!!!

BoB- It is!!!! And Mourl has pulled the old exploding Mourl trick!!!!

Ralph- The oldest one in the book

BoB- Well folks it is over, unless another Beowulf pops out of no
where, as Mourl enters what’s left of the ring.

(Mourl lands and tilts his head from side to side)

Ralph- I’ve seen it all now Bob.

BoB- So have I Ralph. You know when you see exploding beakless
turkeys, you have seen it all. Mourl wins this fight on 5 minutes and 48 seconds official time, like anyone cares. Lets move on to the Fujisawa, Murakumo fight can we please?!

Ralph- Lets go, they will need a few minutes to bring in another ring.

BoB- We’re outta here!

Ralph- For a few minutes any way.

Winner: Mourl

A commercial for Spread-a-bread, the bread you spread is seen on the screens in the arena followed by a commercial for N1.. nabiki Financing…

Winner: Mourl

Mr Fujisawa v. Murikumo

BoB- Our next fight will be a basically a large show of superhuman
strength. It is Mr. Masamichi Fujisawa vs. Murakumo. Now I have heard that it will be virtually impossible for Fujisawa to defeat this inhuman fighter, however I believe that Fujisawa’s inhuman strength will be enough to over power this foe. Now weather or not he actually does this or not is still yet to be seen.

Ralph- I agree Bob, despite what some people say, I would almost
guarantee that this fight will be no walk in the park for Murakumo.

BoB- Yes, especially since it has been rumoured that Fujisawa has not had a drink in almost a week. Which would make his strength even greater. Aaaah, here comes Fujisawa to the ring now.

Ralph- He’s really getting a good reaction from the crowd here tonight.

BoB- That’s right, they mostly seem to be Fujisawa supporters. And Fujisawa enters the ring. And here comes Murakumo now hovering into the ring. And we are hearing a lot of boos now, he is definitely not the crowds favorite tonight. Murakumo lands in the center of the ring, and the bell rings. It’s show time, as Fujisawa quickly charges at Murakumo, but Murakumo easily levitates over him. Murakumo is now shooting some sort of energy beam at Fujisawa and basically destroying the ring. Fujisawa jumps at Murakumo and grabs him! The crowd explodes with cheers, as Fujisawa starts punching Murakumo, who is starting to look hurt already!!!

Ralph: Wow, this is an interesting turn of events.

BoB: You said it. But Murakumo quickly pushes Fujisawa off of him and kicks him in the mid-section! Murakumo Grabs Fujisawa and throws him to the ropes, and blasts him with some sort of energy surge or something! Fujisawa goes down! But Murakumo picks him back up and throws him across the ring! And the crowd seems pissed!


Ralph- As does Mr. Fujisawa though.

BoB- That’s right Ralph! Fujisawa is getting up and is looking really
unhappy! Murakumo just laughing at him!

Murakumo- You imperfect fool! What are you trying to prove by fighting me any way? I thought I made it perfectly clear…You have no hopes for winning. You do know that don’t you?


Mr. Fujisawa- Shit! I didn’t drink for a week for this!!! No way I am going to let all that lost drinking time go to waste! I’ll kill you!

Ralph- Well that was precious….

BoB- Fujisawa charges Murakumo again, and once again getting thrown across the ring! Fujisawa is back up though in a matter of seconds. As he jumps toward Murakumo and beautifully executes a flying kick but it is deflected like nothing by Murakumo. Murakumo now jumps at Fujisawa while he is on the ground, and lands right on him! Murakumo begins punching rapidly at Fujisawa, but doesn’t get any more than 4 or 5 punches off before Fujisawa throws him off like a bull!

Ralph- I would say that it looks as if Murakumo is wearing down a bit. If the fight continues on like this Fujisawa has a good sporting chance.

BoB- If the fight continues on like this Fujisawa will probably die. I
don’t think that Murakumo is wearing down.

Ralph- Thanks Bob…

BoB- Fujisawa now jumps to his feet and throws a kick to the head of Murakumo, which connects! Murakumo goes down now for the first time this fight!

Ralph- That was a clean blow to the side of the head of Murakumo, and he could be down for the count.

BoB- Murakumo is now trying to get up after that agonizing blow to the head, but Fujisawa does not want that to happen as he repeatedly kicks the side of Murakumo. Murakumo rolls under the ropes and jumps out of the ring to catch his breath. But this does not stop Fujisawa, He jumps over the ropes and starts to pummel Murakumo in the head! But Murakumo levitates up and away from Fujisawa. But not high enough to escape the Fujisawa jump!


Ralph- Fujisawa takes down Murakumo into a back-breaker, and then a body slam onto the hard floor of the arena, wow, is that legal?

BoB- If exploding beakless turkeys are allowed in the UCTF then I absolutely think that those moves are legal…

Ralph- I suppose I would have to agree with you Bob.

BoB- Murakumo is still putting up a fight with Fujisawa as they both
take hold of each other and try to wrestle each%20other to the ground.

Murakumo- Damn you, you imperfect bastard! This is not supposed to happen!

Mr. Fujisawa- Your damn right! I haven’t been sober for over a week since I was ten!

BoB- The two combatants seem to be exchanging a few words at ringside where they are fighting. And it appears as though Murakumo is getting the better of Fujisawa, as he pushes his back up against the ring.

Ralph- You know, you have got to wonder what keeps these two still fighting after what they’ve been through tonight, particularly Murakumo.

BoB- Look! Fujisawa uses Murakumo’s own weight against him and punches him in the stomach throwing him back into the ring! Murakumo looks like he is in pain.

Ralph- But that is to be expected.

BoB- Thanks Ralph, we all needed that. Fujisawa jumps back into the ring and hits Murakumo right in the chest with a downward punch. But Murakumo comes right back with another power blast of some kind. Both fighters rise and stand toe to toe in the dead center of the ring punching the living s#$% out of each other!

Ralph- I don’t think that you can say s#$% here Bob.

BoB- Both fighters are now extremely bloody and looking like they can’t go on much longer. The punching slows down but neither fighter is backing down! Fujisawa Falls to a left hook of Murakumo! But it appears that he has fallen foreward on to Murakumo taking him down with him! Both fighters are down now, Fujisawa on top and Murakumo underneath.

Ralph- Amazing.

BoB- Fujisawa is getting up though, and since he is on top of Murakumo, Murakumo can’t get up! Fujisawa is up now and hanging on the ropes! and the ref starts the count. Murakumo unable to get up because fujisawa is standing right over him and blocking him from doing so. And it is all over folks! Fujisawa has conquered the mountain and Murakumo has been defeated. Hell of a fight!

Ralph- I don’t think that you can say h…. Ahhh f@&k it! Hell of a
fight!!!!

Winner: Mr. Fujisawa

Rally Vincent v. Goul’dan

BoB- Here is another fight where size is going to be a big issue. It
is Rally Vincent vs. Goul’Dan the ogre lord.

Ralph- Yes, my statistics say that Goul’Dan is about 300 pounds heavier than Rally. Now Rally I think really has the, sort of home field advantage here if you will, because the crowd really loves Rally here.

BoB- Yes they do, cute girls always seem to get the fans more than nomadic 400 pound ogres.

Ralph- You know Bob I really think that that is discrimination. Don’t you?

BoB- Absolutely, It is discrimination, and is uncalled for.

Ralph- Actually Bob, this is sexual harassment here and I don’t have to take it.

(Ralph gets up and leaves)

BoB- Hmmm, What just happened there? Oh well, looks like I am doing this one on my own here. Rally is…..

(Ralph returns and puts his head set back on)

Ralph- Sorry Bob, I guess I got a little carried away there.

BoB- It’s okay Ralph. I was just saying that Rally is entering the
arena now as you can tell by the crowds reaction. She has just stepped up into the ring now. And here comes Goul’Dan. luckily Goul’Dan has some sort of Ogre background music playing because the crowd is deathly silent.

Ralph- Rally does not waste any time because before the bell even rings she pulls out a gun and shoots Goul’Dan!

(the bullets deflect off of what seems to be a force field)

BoB- I don’t think that that poses well for Rally. Goul’Dan looks
pissed. It looks like ball of ice has formed in Goul’Dan’s hand as he
thrusts it toward Rally. Rally shoots the ice ball in mid air
shattering it and protecting herself.

Goul’Dan- You are unable to hurt me Rally Vincent.

(Rally pulls out a fully automatic gun and shoots at Goul’Dan, the
bullets deflect in all directions.)

Goul’Dan- I will give you one last chance Rally, run away now, run away or I will tear that pretty little body of yours in half…

Rally- Not a chance ogre!!!!

Goul’Dan- Good…

BoB- There was a bit of an exchange of words there between Rally and Goul’Dan. And now Goul’Dan walks toward Rally . He grabs her by both arms and starts pulling!

Ralph- This could get messy Bob.

BoB- But who is that?!

(a man with a katana jumps in the ring behind Goul’Dan and stabs him)

Ralph- It looks like Hanza!

BoB- It is!

Hanza- This has happened to me before and I am not going to let it happen to someone else!

(Goul’Dan turns around and grabs Hanza by both arms, the same way that he had Rally. The stab wound heals instantly.)

Goul’Dan- You fool! What do you think that you can do?

BoB- What is this! Tessai now enters the ring from the north side.

Ralph- He looks like a packaderm! This is a madhouse!

Tessai- What the hell do you think you are doing? That is my job.

Goul’Dan- Back off. Don’t think that just because you are made of rock I won’t be able to beat the living s$%& out of you

Ralph and BoB- I don’t think that he can say s$%& here!

(Goul’Dan drops Hanza, who runs over by rally and watches Goul’Dan and Tessai)

BoB- This is interesting, Goul’Dan and Tessai are almost the exact
same size, Tessai just a few inches taller.

Tessai- You must understand, I can’t be hurt!

Goul’Dan- We’ll see about that.

BoB- Goul’Dan draws his large war hammer and swings at Tessai, and knocks him out of the ring! Tessai throws is double sided sword at Goul’Dan but he is able to dodge it. he jumps out of the rind toward Tessai, and tackles him. They wrestle around for a while but Goul’Dan is fighting Rally, so he is counted out, because Rally is still in the ring!

Ralph- That was original

BoB- And it is over! Rally wins. and then quickly flees the arena
with Hanza.

Ralph- I wonder what’s going on there?

BoB- Tessai and Goul’Dan realize what just happened and they are
starting to run after Rally and Hanza! Now that could get dangerous. Goul’Dan and Tessai together.

ralph: Let’s forget this crap and move on to the next fight.

BoB- Good Idea!

Winner: Rally Vincent

Just as the fighters are making their way out of the arena the entire place goes black and a voice is heard

Voice: Rally.. it is time for you to answer my question… you have seen the power that I posess.. will you join me in the darkness… will you fight on my side?

rally: Not in your life creep.

Voice: Then the decision has been made… it will be a decision you will be very sorry you made… when you fight Ukyo this friday i will make myself known… you will see my true form and true power.. then you will be in great fear of me

rally; Whatever (she leaves)

BoB: WOW now that was a wierd little exchange of words..we must move on to our next fight though

Kasuhiku jinnai v. Forrest Gump

Ralph: Forrest entires.. running as before and is followed by Kasuhiku Jinnai

Jinnai: HAHAHAHAHAHAH WHA HAHAHAHA I Kasuhiku Jinnai will—

Forrest: You don’t look like jen-ney

Jinnai” Well I am.. I’m talking here so shut up

Forrest: But Jen-ney and i go together like peas and carrots

Jinnai: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT you stupid fool.. i’ve never met you before

Forrest: What did you do to my Jen-ney

Jinnai: I AM Jinnai

Forrest: You are a liar, my momma always said “Liars are like dead rabbits, they always–“


Jinnai: SHUT UP Oh you must mean my sister

Forrest: I didn’t knwo jen-ney had a brother

Jinnai: OOOO You’re really starting to annoy me

Ralph: Kasuhiku attacks Forrest with a rope.. he’s trying to choke him… Forrest dodges the rope and starts running around the ring

BoB IT’S A DIRECT SET UP FOR HIS FINISHING MOVE BOX OF CHOCHOLATES!! Forrest isn’t waiting , he wants this fight to be over soon

Ralph: he attempts it and misses.. that looks like it really hurt

BoB: It looks like Jinni just pulled something out of his pocket.. it looks like a celphone of some sort

Jinnai: GET THE LOSER!

Ralph: the ring is now surrounded by Bugroms.. oddly enough they attack Kasuhiku

Jinnai”: NO GET THE LOSER!!


BoB: they’ve stopped, they’ve got a very confused look on thier faces.. they don’t know which loser to attack

Jinnai: ATTACK FORREST!


Ralph: they’re ll leaving! HAHA I think they’re going to attacka forrest

Jinnai: Wait what are you doing… wait.. STOP IT!

BoB: Gump is stupified

ralph: which really isn’t saying too much

BoB” He charges at Kasuhiku yealling…

Forrest: MOMMA ALWAYS SAID “CHEATERS NEVER WIN!”

Kasuhiku is laid out on the ground Forrest climbs up to the top rope and–

BoB: Kasuhiku gets up and pushes Forrest off.. he falls out of the riung and hits his head on the floor Forrest is taking a helluva beating

Ralph: Kasuhiku just stands there Laughing


Jinnai: HAHAHAHAHAHA HWA HAHA HWA HWA HAHAHA HWA HAHAHAHAHA HWA WHA HWA HWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Forrest: stop laughing at me

Jinnai: HAHAHAHAH HWA HAHAH WHA HWA WHAA HAHHAHHHAAA HA AHA AHHA HA HA HA HA HA


BoB: forrest gets up, climnbs back intothe ring and kicks Kasuhiku in the jaw.. kasuhiku falls back agaiunst the ropes and forrest throws him into the center of the ring

Ralph: He’s going to attempt the box of chaocholates again.. he’s running… OH NO He’s being choked by a ribbin

BoB: It’s kodachi Kuno

Ralph: What’s SHE doing here?


Kodachi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Forrest you dare attack my love?


Bob and Ralph; HER WHAT!?!


Kodachi: yes that’s right, my love.. Kasuhiku Jinnai. he’s the only one who really understands me.. bt no hard feeling forrest, here have a box of chocholates

BoB: Forest just took a box of chocholates, eats one and blacks out

KOdachi: Your momma was right.. you never do know what you’re gonna get HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Ralph: She picks up Kasuhiku and carries him out of the ring


Kodachi: HAHAHAHAHAHAhA


BoB: What a freak


Winner: Kasuhiku Jinnai

Ralph: now onto our next matchup

Penpen v. uura


BoB: they both enter the ring and meet in the center.. pen pen looks ready to fight but Uura wants to say something first

UUra: penpen.. we no fight pen pen.. invitation to join. you and me create teamof animals.. already have duck and cabbit.. want penguin.. tell me later pen pen


Ralph: UUra leaves the ring and is counted out.. teh winer by default is PENPEN


Winner:PEnpen

BoB: and now to our MAIN EVENT..

Luke Skywalker v. GOury gabriev


ralph: Both men are very experienced swordsmen and both men have been preparing for this fight for a long time

boB: Here comes luke now, escorted by his girlfreind, princess Leia


ralph: Actually that’s his sister


BoB: EWWWW

Ralph: He’s got his sabre and is ready for action


BoB: and here comes Goury with his sword. Doesn’t look like much in comparison


Ralph: It doesn’t matter because looks can be very decieving

|
BoB: whatever


Ralphg: the bell sounds and immediately they begin this amazing work of swordpaly


BoB: It is as if they can read each other’s minds, they seem to be anticipating the other’s moves


Ralph: It’s now simply a matter of what factors more, Lukes finness or gaury’s strength


BoB: actually I think the factor is Luke’s sword.. it;s more advanced and because the blade is light the sword is far easier to mavuver


ralph: WHAT AND AMAZING LUNGE ATTACK BY GOURY.. and an equally amazing riposte by Luke.. gaury parries it and swings at hs head Luck ducks and goes for gaury’s leg… Goury blocks it


boB: BUT HIS Sword is now broken.. it seems that lukes swords cut right through gaury’s blade


Ralph: THIS MATCH IS OVER!!! folks.. it looks like the winner is Luke skywalker

BoB:Wait a minute.. it looks like Luke put hsi sword down to allow the match to be fair.. Goury sets his down and the two engage in hand to hand combat


Ralph: What honor… Goury Picks up Luke and slams him down on the mat


boB: Luke grabs goury’s leg and drags him down with him.


Ralph: Luke stands up and picks Goury up by the hair.. he jut threw him into a turnbuckle


BoB: It looks like Goury is totaly out of it, he just picked up his sword.. he must be crazy.. lukes got his now, he’s ready to end this


Goury: LIGHT COME FORTH!!


Ralph: I DON’T BELIVE IT!!! It’s THE SWORD OF LIGHT.. it looks like the tables have turned yet again


BoB:” This is one amazing matchup Gaury getshimself into position, wipes the sweat from his browand starts to attack Luke

Ralph: Luke’s doing fairly well defending himself but i doubt he can hold it much longer


BoB: Goury just disarmed Luke.. his sabre is now out of the ring


Ralph: Like luke did for him, Goury stes his sword down and readies himself for hand to hand conmbat. Luke rushes at Goury and sweeps himto the floor.. he follows it with and amazing elbow drop


BoB: Goury’s not moving. To finish the deed Luke climbs tot he top rope and executes a moonsault.. goury rolls out of the way and luke hits the mat a little too hard


Ralph: Tjis match is an excellent example of two powerful fighters fighiting with pure honor and force.

BoB: Goury has gotten out of the ring and has retrieved Luke’s Sabre.. he gives it to him and prepares for combat


ralph: Luke hasn’t even readied his weapon yet.. i don’t think he ha smuch left in him


mysterious voice over: Luke

LUke: BEN?!

Ben Kanobi

Luke… you must use the force

Luke: but this guys too powerful

Ben: The force will give you victory

LUke: IunderstandBoB:That’s just not right

Ralph: he readies his sabre and charges at Goury who dodges and slics off his android hand

BoB: NOW it’s over.. Goury drops his weapon and whips luke into the ropes.. CLOTHESLINE…


Ralph He just picke dluke up and nails him with a back breaker.. Luke is out cold and the winner is Goury Gabriev

Winner: Goury Gabriev

BoB: well see you all friday


Ralph: Bye now

 

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