Strong Woman Tournament
X-23 vs. Bat-Girl | Crawen Darkzeal vs. Marcella Grace | Taki vs. Leona | Momoiro Ichigo vs. Nakita Dahaka

Strong Man Tournament
Raven Darc vs. Ben Tennyson | Lo-Ruhamah vs. Xiu | Sao Feng vs. Gideon | Xamot vs. Inuyasha

!!!KRAAAAKATHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

*Why are we opening tonight’s broadcast with an awesomely cool sound effect that represents an explosion? Well that’s easy, Inuyasha has just kicked down the door to Sasa Dark’s office!*

Sasa: O_O JESUS CHRIST!

Inuyasha: YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH! >=| YOU SAID I’D BE FACING RAVEN DARC THIS WEEK! YOU’RE A DAMN LIAR! >=|

Sasa: whoa ho ho! You said you wanted him in a match or else you’d beat my ass. I heard you loud and clear! That’s why I gave you the opportunity to face him tonight. You just uhh.. Have to uhh.. Win two matches.. And then Raven will have to win two matches. And if THAT happens, then you can have your rematch.

Inuyasha: DAMNIT. I’ll win mine no doubt, but what about that loser Raven Darc?! He hasn’t won a match in ages!

*somewhere across the building*

Raven: *SPITS OUT WATER* … >=| I fucking HATE that guy!

*Back in Sasa’s office*

Sasa: *shrug* what do you want me to do? If it makes you feel better, He has to fight Ben 10, then either that fat ass Lo-Ruhamah or the gayest guy in the Universe, Xiu Shields. I’m sure he’ll get through it alright.

Inuyasha: ..he better.

*Inuyasha slowly walks out of the office, looking forward to finally paying Raven back for the sneak attack he received at his hands.*

Sasa: e_e…

*Elsewhere in the Arena, Xamot is approached by officials.*

Official: um.. Mr. Xamot?

Xamot: …

Official: Sasa has given you Inuyasha in the first round of this Tournament. Says “You’re Welcome.”

Xamot: … >=)…

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is our Opening Contest, and is a first round match for the “UCTF Strong Woman” Tournament!

*”We Don’t Care Anymore” by Story of the Year begins playing, bringing down the first competitor…*

Arzie: Introducing first, hailing from Gotham City, she is one half of the UCTF Tag Team Champions… BAAAAT-GIRRRLLLLL!!

*Cassandra Cain leaps quickly onto the apron and then hops easily over the ropes and into the ring. *

Arzie: And her opponent… Hailing from Salem-Center, Westchester County, New York… She is ALSO one half of the UCTF Tag Team Champions… TALLLOOOOOONNNN!!!

*Laura Kinney, a.k.a. The Clone a.k.a. X-23, leaps into the ring in a similar style of her opponent. Both women, with their characteristically stoic expressions stare each other down in the center of the ring.*

Bob: Well this is Sasa Dark’s style, make the Tag Team Champions fight each other over a chance to obtain the Highest Honor of the UCTF!
Ralph: Well this isn’t the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Friendship league, Bob. They’re professional fighters! These women don’t seem like the type to pull punches just because they’re partners, either…
Bob: No.. No they don’t. Looks like the Strong Woman 2008 Tournament is officially under way!

!!DING DING DING!!

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Talon vs. Bat-Girl

*The sound of the ringing bell almost has a “Pavlov’s Dog” effect on Talon, as she instantaneously attacks her tag team partner without a second thought! Bat-Girl blocks the strike from The Clone, and quickly parries her over with a Judo-styled over the shoulder arm throw!*

Bob: Bat-Girl quickly reverses!

*Talon flows through the throw, using Cassandra’s momentum to propel her body around and land on her feet. Now with her back to Bat-Girl, Talon throws a swift back kick. Bat-Girl catches the foot, and makes Laura pay the price, KICKING her standing leg out from under her!*

Bob: Another Qu–

*However, X-23 uses the momentum from the kick to the leg, bringing it around and NAILING her Partner in the side of the face with a flying roundhouse. Bat-girl, reeling from the kick, cartwheels away from her attacker, while Talon lands back-first on the canvas before quickly kipping back up to her feet.*

Ralph: Well, you were certainly right about them pulling no punches!
Bob: That was a great move there by X-23!

*Talon keeps the pressure on, leaping towards Cassandra who cartwheeled herself towards the corner. Bat-Girl rolls under the flying X-23!*

Bob: NOBODY HOME!

*With no one there, The Clone adjusts her flight, landing with both feet on the top rope. Bat-Girl is already mid-flight when X-23 lands, KICKING the Clone in the back of her knee. That leg slips off the rope, sending Laura crashing on to the top turnbuckle. As her body flies backwards from the impact, her leg tangles in the ropes, leaving her a sitting duck for Bat-Girl.*

Bob: Talon suddenly finds herself in the Tree of Woe!

*Bat-Girl’s now charging towards her partner like a runaway steam engine! The Goddess of Gotham City delivers a sickening sliding kick to Talon’s face!*

Bob: And a DEVASTATING running drop kick to her PARTNER’S skull!
Ralph: Bat-Girl was moving so fast, she ended up on the outside, Bob. Jesus what a kick!

*Kinney falls to the canvas following the drop kick, before beginning her instinctive climb back to her feet. While this is happening, Bat-Girl quickly double leaps to the apron and to the top rope.*

Bob: Bat-Girl perched on the top…

*Talon turns, and quickly rolls out of the way of her opponent’s top rope Missile Drop Kick attempt!*

Bob: Missile Drop kick misses! Bat-Girl lands on her feet!

*With both women’s backs facing each other, Talon strikes first with a flying backhand! Bat-Girl turns into the strike, blocking, parrying, and thrust kicking her opponent directly in the sternum! Laura rolls backwards from the hit, before arriving at to her knees. She grits her teeth, before–*

!!SNIKT!!

*Unleashing her claws! Playtime is over!*

Ralph: Uh oh!

*The Aggressive X-23 charges her partner with her drawn claws! Bat-Girl gets her forearms up in time to block being sliced in two, thanks to the razor sharp talons built into the arm bands of her bat-suit! She fires back with several forearm shots of her own, leaving the fans in the front row to witness a Krav Maga clinic in the center of the ring!*

Bob: Both women jocking for position in a close quarter’s combat exhibition!
Ralph: I don’t know which one I want to win! Bat-girl puppies or Wolverine-Girl puppies!

*The Tag Team Champions interlace and lock their fingers together in a test of strength. When Bat-Girl delivers a semi-cheap knee to the mid-section, X-23 responds by leaping off of her feet, and delivering a double kick to Cassandra’s ribs! Their hands are still locked together, so Bat-Girl is helpless as she’s Monkey flipped halfway across the ring!*

Bob: X-23 with the monkey flip!

*Laura charges the waiting Bat-Girl, who rolls backwards into a handstand! She catches Laura around the throat with her legs, stopping The Clone dead in her tracks!*

Ralph: But Bat-Girl catches her!

*She quickly brings X-23 down FOREHEAD first into the canvas with a big hurricanrana!*

Bob: And again halts any momentum Talon was attempting to build with her lightning fast reflexes!
Ralph: It’s her fighting style, Bob! Adapt to any situation, any fighting style! I HATE those types! >=|

*Bat-Girl wisely does not allow her opponent to recover! Unleashing batterangs from her utility belt, the sharp, bat-shaped projectiles fly across the ring towards Talon. She wisely rolls backwards in attempt to keep from being sliced in two by the objects!*

Ralph: Where does she get such wonderful toys?
Bob: Who knows, but they seem to be working well to keep Talon isolated across the ring! You can’t win if you can’t get in close quarters with your opponent who just happens to have long range weapons!

*Crouched low, X-23 growls as Bat-Girl pulls out more of what seems to be a damned endless supply of batterangs from the black hole that is her Utility Belt.*

Bob: Talon’s going to have to make a decision here!

*And she does. FLOOR IT! Talon launches herself towards her opponent, parrying away some, but not all of the batterangs as they inundate her! Most are knocked away, but those that aren’t stab right into The Clone’s body! She doesn’t slow down even HALF a step!*

Ralph: HOLY CRAP!

*Bat-Girl WISELY leaps out of the way, as X-23 drives her clawed fist INTO the turnbuckle! Cassandra flips over X-23, grabbing The Clone by the shoulders and tossing her across the ring AGAIN!*

Bob: Another reversal by Bat-Girl!

*X-23 ends up on the outskirts of the ring! She second she’s back to her feet on the apron, Bat-Girl MURDERS her in the face with a drop kick that sends X-23 flipping off the apron and to the aisle!*

Crowd: *POP!*

Ralph: Talon in a bad way!
Bob: And Bat-Girl is getting a running start!

*Bat-Girl leaps to the top rope, springboards off, and GLIDES over X-23 before landing on The Clone’s shoulders! She jerks backwards, hitting a devastating Hurricanrana on the concrete!*

Bob: HUGE air for that Rana!! Amazing!!
Ralph: I think she almost took HERSELF out with that move! They both better get back in the ring before either Crawen or Marcella gets a bye into the finals!

*The Referee makes an aggressive count as his way of telling the women to get back into the ring! Bat-Girl slides in through the bottom rope with X-23 slowly following. As X-23 climbs onto the apron, Bat-Girl grabs her by the hair to “assist” in her re-entering the ring. X-23 thanks her by driving her shoulder into Cassandra’s diaphragm!*

Bob: X-23 with a well-placed strike to the mid-section!

*With Bat-Girl doubled over, Talon dives through the ropes. She hits the canvas in a graceful dive roll that turns into a STIFF Vaulting double kick to the jaw of Bat-Girl, knocking her off her feet!*

Bob: Big kick to the chin there!
Ralph: That could be a momentum changer right there, Bob!

*Bat-Girl climbs to her knees only to be caught with a beautiful double kick from X-23! The Clone hits a flying roundhouse into a spinning heel kick within the same motion!*

Bob: Bat-Girl caught again with a hurricane-esque kick from her tag team champion partner!
Ralph: She can’t take too many unanswered kicks like that! She better do something! It’s like this Talon girl doesn’t tire!

*Cassandra and Laura rise to their feet once more… X-23 attempts to kick her opponents head off with a shuffle side kick! It misses by a mile as Bat-Girl ducks and snatches up X-23 around the waist! Running full, break neck speed, she PLOWS Laura back first into the turnbuckle, before performing a BEAUTIFUL back handspring to create distance! She charges X-23, who blocks by putting her feet in the way… Laura runs full speed into the double boots to the face, causing her to roll backwards! Following the reversal, Talon ascends to the top rope!*

Bob: Talon going up!
Ralph: She’s going too damn slow! Bat-Girl has already recovered!

*Cassandra flies into the air, roundhousing that SAME knee from earlier in the match! X-23 slips again and straddles the top turnbuckle to the sound of the groaning crowd! Bat-Girl backs up a few steps…*

Bob: Bat-Girl thinking about something here!

*She charges her opponent, flying into a handstand on the second turnbuckle! Her legs wrap around Talon’s neck!*

Ralph: She’s trying for the Handstand Hurricanrana off the top rope!

*X-23 leans as far back as she possibly can to prevent herself from behind thrown off the top rope and it WORKS! Bat-Girl can’t muster the strength needed to hit the Hurricanrana! X-23 quickly adapts, FLINGING Bat-Girl off the top rope with inhuman-like strength! Cassandra Cain hits the canvas chest first!*

Bob: Bat-Girl’s down!

*X-23 stands back up on the top rope before throwing all of her weight behind a SICKENING kick to the base of Bat-Girl’s neck! The Dark Knight is driven face first into the canvas with all of Talon’s weight on top of her!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!

Bob: JESUS CHRIST! She calls that the Downward Guillotine Kick!

*X-23 rolls her over, covering her partner’s body with her own!*

Ref: 1….. 2……. 3!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And it’s over THAT quick!! X-23 pulls it out after an Amazing match!!
Ralph: I.. I think we just saw the finals for the Women’s Tournament, tonight. o_o

Winner and Moving on to the Semi-Finals: Talon

*X-23 rolls out of the ring, followed by the ref who raises her arm in victory. Leaving her Partner unconscious on the canvas, X-23 slowly retreats up the aisle the victor.*

Bob: And with the end of the match, X-23 is the first to make it to the next round in women’s competition!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is a first round match in the UCTF Strong Man Tournament!

*”Halo” by Soil keys up, and out saunters the Former Three Time UCTF Intergalactic Champion, Raven Darc!*

Arzie: Making his way down to the ring, hailing from Hayborn, Scotland, he is RAVVEEEN DARRCCC!!

Ralph: How is it that Raven Darc gets put on the opposite side of the brackets as Inuyasha?!
Bob: You have to remember that him and Sasa Dark are no strangers to each other.
Ralph: Yeah… making Inuyasha go through the entire tournament just to get a shot at Raven.. And there’s no guarantee that Raven will make it to the finals anyway!

*As Raven climbs into the ring, “Counterfeit” by Limp Bizkit starts up next, bringing down the kid with the Omnitrix!*

Arzie: And his opponent, making his way down to the ring… He is BEENNN TENNNN!!!

Bob: I spoke to Ben 10 Earlier, and he plans on making a name for himself tonight in this tournament! Unfortunately for him, He’ll have to go through one of the toughest, tenured bastards we have on the roster to do so!
Ralph: Yeah, I bet he’s wishing he was facing Ric Austin in his first match up…

*Right as Tennyson goes to climb into the ring, Raven NAILS him in the side of the head with a thrust kick!*

Everyone: O_O!

Bob: OH GOD! Raven with a cheap shot before the match even starts!

*Raven drags the poor bastard halfway into the ring, with the other half still tangled up in the ropes! The former IG Champion snaps backwards, driving the frail kid head first on the canvas!*

Bob: MURDEROUS DDT!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Raven Darc vs. Ben 10

*Ben, acting on instinct alone, climbs back to his feet and walks right into Raven’s Savate kick! The Half-demon catches Ben as he falls backwards with a kick to the mid-section! Ben doubles over, and is snapped into a neck breaker in the center of the ring!*

Bob: Ok, so the bell ringing seems like it was just a formality!
Ralph: Yeah, Ben.. Make that name for yourself… o_o

*Raven plays up to the booing capacity crowd as Ben slowly stands back up. He grabs the young man by the hair, pulling him to the point where he’s almost bent completely backwards. Raven takes his arm and places it around the throat of Tennyson, while signaling that this match is over…*

Bob: I think Raven’s about to–

*Raven twists the poor bastard around, driving him face first into the canvas!*

Bob: ENDLESS WALTZ!! THAT’S IT!

*He rolls Ben over, nonchalantly covering the kid with his forearm pressed into the side of his face!*

Ref: 1……. 2……… 3!

Arzie: The Winner, and moving to the next round.. RAAAVEEENNN DARRRCCCC!!!

*The referee ATTEMPTS to raise Raven’s arm, but the big man snatches it away in disgust! He spits on Ben 10’s unconscious body before leaving the ringside area.*

Bob: Raven moves on to face either Lo-Ruhamah or Xiu Shields…
Ralph: I know why Ben’s theme song is counterfeit, now…
Bob: …I’m afraid to ask.
Ralph: Because he’s a fraud.
Bob: Well.. T..that was genius of Raven not even allowing him to use the Omnitrix. That kid isn’t worth a damn without it!

Winner and going to the Semi-Finals: Raven Darc

*”Let Me Be Your Armor” is already playing through the sound system, and out walks the FORMER Demon Huntress, the inappropriately dressed Nun herself!*

Ralph: HOLY PUPPIES!
Bob: ..
Ralph: get it? HOLYYY PUPPIES! IT CAN BE BOTH AN EXCLAMATION AND A NICKNAME!
Bob: …..

Arzie: Introducing first…making her way down to the ring… The Sexiest Nun in Anime City… MARRRCCEELLLAAAA GRAAACCCEEEE!!

Ralph: You got that right, Arzie!
Bob: There’s a special place in hell for both of you o_o
Ralph: Hey, with the way she’s dressed, I might see Marcella down there!
Bob: RALPH! >=|

*Metallica’s “2 X 4” starts up!*

Arzie: And her opponent… being accompanied by her Pet Wolf Blackstorm… She is the Blood Elf, CRAAAWWEEENNN DARKZEEAAALLL!!

Ralph: And here comes Elf puppies!
Bob: Do you not remember what happened the last time you messed with that woman?
Ralph: meh. I’ve been kicked in the junk by Janne’s armor clad boot. Her’s didn’t do that much damage. e_e
Bob: so.. Do you think you can produce children?
Ralph: Who knows!

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Crawen Darkzeal vs. Marcella Grace

!!DING DING DING!!

*The match is officially underway!*

Bob: Here we go! Both women have something to prove here tonight. Darkzeal needs a win after an impressive loss over Gideon several weeks ago, while Marcella Grace had an equally embarrassing loss to Inuyasha back in May that has ruined her professional life outside the UCTF.
Ralph: oh God YES I remember that! Marcella was almost completely nude at the end of that match! Did I mention I love Inuyasha?!
Bob: many times since then.. Yes

*Crawen leaps across the ring, launching her attack on Marcella, courtesy her Dual Axes! The former Sword Master Champion blocks and parries the blades with her own Rapier, followed by a stiff kick to the mid-section! There is obviously a lot of anger behind the kick, as it’s strong enough to send Crawen tumbling backwards and upside down into her own corner!*

Everyone: O_O

Bob: What a kick!
Ralph: Does uhh.. Crawen count as a Demon?
Bob: I… don’t think so.
Ralph: lucky her o_o

*Crawen attempts to right herself in the corner as the demon hunting dashes across the ring towards her! The Blood Elf quickly slides out of the ring seconds before she’s blasted in the grill with the hilt of the nun’s blade! The fans respond with a chorus of boos!*

Bob: Wise move by Crawen, but the fans didn’t appreciate it!

*Marcella follows the bailed Crawen before giving chase around the ring!*

Ralph: She’s about to fall for the oldest trick in the book, isn’t she?
Bob: I.. I think she is!

*SURE ENOUGH, Crawen leaps into the ring with Marcella on her tail! The Blood Elf makes Marcella pay for it by delivering a stiff strike to the back of the head as Marcella attempts to re-enter the ring.*

Ralph: CALLED IT! >=|

*After staggering the former champion, Crawen gains momentum from the ropes as she scurries towards her opponent with the blood axes drawn! She goes into a baseball slide, targeting the nun’s knees with her next attack!*

Marcella: e_e!

*But the nun telegraphs the move by LEAPING into the air! The axes collide with nothing but air, leaving Crawen WIDE open! Gravity does the rest of the work, bringing Marcella down into a DOUBLE STOMP on Crawen’s face!*

Crowd: AUGGHH!!

Ralph: o_o.. That’s going to leave some bruising.

*Crawen’s face has opened up like a bag of chips, with a fountain of blood spewing from nose!*

Ralph: JOEY MERCURY!
Bob: Jesus Christ!!!

*While screaming in agony at the top of her lungs, Crawen connects a LUCKY kick to Marcella’s face that sends the nun through the ropes and to the outside of the ring! Marcella tumbles off of the apron before landing right on top of Blackstorm!*

Blackstorm: …grrrr…

Marcella: o_o!!

Ralph: That’s not good!

*The wolf INSTANTLY attacks Marcella without hesitation to another chorus of boos from the capacity crowd!*

Bob: Wow o_o That damn Wolf is doing most of the work for Crawen.. So even if she bleeds to death, she might win this match up! … can’t see what a win would do for her if she dies, though o_o.

*Fortunately, We won’t have to worry, because out to protect his master is none other than Clement, the demon hunting Doberman!*

Clement: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!

Ralph: OH SNAP! HERE COMES THAT DOG!

*Blackstorm tosses Marcella to the wayside before confronting Clement in the aisle way! Clement easily gives up a few dozen pounds at the LEAST to the big mutated Wolf, but he’s not backing down!*

Blackstorm: e_e
Clement: e_e…….

Ralph: God.. I wish it was that ferret that came out instead of Clement. I wouldn’t mind seeing that thing torn apart.

*The stand off between canines ends when Blackstorm rushes the smaller pup! Clement follows suit, sprinting towards the bigger wolf!*

Clement: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
Blackstorm: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF! >=|!!!!

!!POOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!

*The Doberman drives his head into the jaw of Blackstorm, sending the Wolf onto his BACK!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

*He leaves Blackstorm in his dust on his way to the ring, where he snags a bite into Crawen’s arm!*

Bob: CANINE FURY!

*Crawen, one hand trying to stop the bleeding from her face, and one leg trying to kick Clement off, turns towards Marcella, who then unloads an ENTIRE CLIP of bullets into her body!*

!!POP POP POP POP POP POP POP!!

Bob: CRAWEN FALLS VICTIM TO A BARRAGE OF GUNFIRE… AGAIN!

*The Blood Elf collapses into a heap, with the referee calling for the bell!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: IT’S OVER!

Winner and Moving to the Semi-Finals: Marcella Grace

Ralph: Marcella Grace vs. Talon! Marcella Grace vs. Talon!
Bob: Who’d think a Doberman could take a wolf, by the way. O_o Geez!

Arzie: AAAAANDDDD the Following is a Only The Strong first round match, where the winner will face Raven Darc in the Semi-Finals….

Have Mercy On Me…. a Sinner

*Walking down the aisle to The Theme to the Steve Wilkos Show… hell, with the crazed bald ex-cop Steve Wilkos IN TOW is Lo-Ruhamah!*

Arzie: Introducing first, being led to the ring by Steve Wilkos… He is the Unloved one… LOOOO-RUHAMAHHHHH!!!

Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!

Bob: And here comes the slimmer former World Champion!
Ralph: Slimmer? >=| What, did he lose 3 pounds? He’s STILL a fatass! And he’s with an even FATTER guy behind him!
Bob: He’s smaller than you are!
Ralph: I’M NOT AN IN RING COMPETITOR!
Bob: Regardless, Lo-Ruhamah has a ton to prove tonight! After that EMBARRASSING lose to Momoiro, you can guarantee he’s going to pull out all the stops tonight against–

-A LOADED GOD COMPLEX-
-COCK IT AND PULL IT-

*Bob’s interrupted by Fall Out Boy’s “Sugar, We’re Going Down,” bringing out Lo-Ruhamah’s opponent.*

Arzie: And his opponent, being accompanied by the giant assfuck keyblade… He is XXXXXXXIIIIUUUUU SHIIEEEEELLLLDDDDSSS!!!

Ralph: Really? We’re saying screw it and giving him a last name, now?
Bob: LOOKS LIKE!

*The Blue Hurricane springs into the top turnbuckle in a single bound before performing a corkscrew flip, landing beautifully in the center of the ring and RIGHT into a Holy Punch from Lo-Ruhamah! Xiu’s feet end up over his head as the lightweight fighter lands HEAD FIRST from the sucker punch!*

Bob: *SPITS OUT DRINK!*

Crowd: …o_o BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Ralph: *BURSTS INTO FITS OF LAUGHTER* YES! THAT’S THE LO WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE!

Only The Strong
Round 1
Lo-Ruhamah vs. Xiu Shields

!!DING DING DING!!

*As the bell unnecessarily sounds in the distance, Lo flings the little Xiu across the ring by the hair! When Xiu lands in the corner, Lo quickly unloads on Shields with a flurry of chi powered knife edged chops!*

Bob: And we told you Lo has something to prove tonight!
Ralph: He better watch out.. His fat ass will get winded real quick! >=|

Steve: KEEP ON HIM JONATHAN! DON’T LET UP! >=| DON’T LET UP YOU FAT BASTARD!

*One HARD chi slap to the face later, Lo takes off across the ring at full speed! Recovering off the ropes, The blubber filled body of Lo-Ruhamah miraculously takes flight as he goes for his famed “Rosary Kick!” Xiu however, rolls underneath the flaming, twirling ki kick a half second before his face is cratered in by it!*

Bob: BIG MISS BY LO!

*Mid-roll, Xiu handsprings off of the mat, corkscrews in midair and delivers a spinning heel to the back of Lo’s head! Ruhamah flies into the ropes chest first, as the blue BLUR that is Xiu bounces off of the corner adjacent to said ropes… Xiu spins in midair, NAILING a stiff front kick directly to Lo’s face! As Lo crashes to the mat, Xiu uses his face as a springboard to land a perfectly executed backflip.*

Ralph: o_o Lo’s in the market for another huge embarrassment here. Atleast Xiu can actually fight, though.

Steve: WHAT ARE YOU DOING LO?!!? GET UP!!!!!!!!!!

*Lo struggles to get his big ass up, and here comes Xiu BACKFLIPPING down on him from no where!*

Lo: O_O!

*The former World Champion swings a Holy Punch desperately, only for him to be parried and SPUN around by Xiu, who delivers a sick four side kick combination about the midsection, into an axe kick, into spinning heel kick, followed by a backflipping kick that takes BOTH men into the air, finishing with a drop kick in MID AIR that sends Lo crashing into the ropes! As Lo bounces off of the ropes, Xiu lands on his shoulders and hits a hurricanrana! The momentum from the ropes, in combination with the hurricanrana sends Lo sliding under the bottom rope and to the floor below!*

Ralph: D:!! JESUS CHRIST!
Bob: That kid might have better kicks than William Clarke x_x

Steve: o_o.. Uhh.. Son, you alright?

*As The host of the popular talk show checks on Lo-Ruhamah, inside the ring, sprints towards the ropes!*

Ralph: oh.. This won’t end well, will it?
Bob: No.. No it won’t!

*Xiu dives through the ropes, SOMERSAULTS in midair, springboards off of Steve Wilkos’ BACK before hitting Lo-Ruhamah with a shining Enseguri!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

Bob: Another big move there by Xiu!
Ralph: Is it time for you to scream “STOP THE DAMN MATCH?”
Bob: not yet…

*Xiu climbs into the ring with a big goofy smile on his face, as the referee makes his ten count…*

Ref: ONEEEEEEEE!!!! TWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Bob: At.. Atleast he’s letting Lo lose with some dignity. A countout most definitely isn’t a knockout like he had against Momoiro.
Ralph: This is sad. Lo can’t even get up!

*The referee’s count grows closer to ten as the fat, haagen daas infused body of Lo slowly climbs to the aprong. His fat sweaty palm grabs a hold of the bottom rope as he tries to pull himself up…*

Steve: GET UP LO! YOU’VE WORKED TOO HARD FOR THIS! >=| GET IN THAT RING AND BEAT THAT PUNKS LITTLE ASS!

*At the count of seven, Lo pulls himself up onto the apron.*

Lo: *GASPING FOR AIR* >_<!!!

*As Shields springs towards his opponent to knock him off of the apron, Lo manages to grasp the young man by his blue locks before DROPPING back to the floor blow! The end result sends Xiu throat first over the top rope! Xiu bounces THROAT FIRST off of the metal rod before flying all the way back across the ring! His little body twists in midair, sending him crashing face first on the canvas!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOHHHH O_O!!

*Lo throws himself into the ring at the count of nine!*

Bob: LO WITH THE STUN GUN ON XIU OUTTA NO WHERE!
Ralph: That old wiley bastard o_o

*Now back in the driver’s seat, The former World Champion focuses his dwindling chi energy into lifting Xiu Shield’s body off of the mat.*

Lo: .. ARRRGHHHH!!

*Now, with Xiu’s body at his eye level, Lo-Ruhamah contorts Shields’ with his “Surrender Your Soul” technique!*

Xiu: ARRRGHGHGHHH!!

Lo: ASK HIM REF! >=| ASK HIM NOW!

Ref: Xiu! DO YOU GIVE UP!?!?!

Xiu: n.. n.. NOOOOOO!!! >=|!!

*Now XIU begins to manifest his own blue, swirling ki energy! Lo-Ruhamah falls to one knee, his energy quickly being sapped by his own submission hold!*

Xiu: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

KRAAAAKAATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!

*Xiu overpowers Lo-Ruhamah, and in a flash of light, he breaks the hold! Both men are on the canvas as a result, with neither in a hurry to get up!*

Steve: YOU GOT HIM RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT HIM BOY! GET UP!! GET UP!

*Xiu is first to move, now favoring both his lower back and his throat… Lo-Ruhamah is only able to roll to his stomach as he tries to pull himself to his knees… Facing Xiu’s back, the Unloved one lunges toward him, hitting the most BLATANT ballshot in the history of mankind!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!

*Quickly wrapping his arms around Xiu, he hits a German Suplex, then a second, then a THIRD!*

Bob: Uh oh.. We’ve seen this before!

*Lo, straining with EVERYTHING he’s got produces more chi energy that forms a mist that infiltrates Xiu’s body!*

Bob: YES. Lo’s going for that paralysis finisher, the “Say Your Prayers!*

*Xiu’s body reacts violently, as Lo’s chi is attacking his nervous system! The Former World Champion spins Xiu around and hits a belly to belly suplex in the center of the ring!*

Bob: He hits the final suplex! Lo covers!

Ref: 1……. 2…….. 2.9999999999999!!!!

Bob: AND XIU KICKS OUT TO A HUGE OVATION!

*CRAWLING to the corner, Lo-Ruhamah begins his slow ascension to the top rope!*

Ralph: n..no way. THERE’S NO WAY HIS FAT ASS IS GOING UP THERE! >=|

*Ruhamah, now on the top rope struggles just to maintain his balance!*

Bob: Ruhamah is up top! Xiu is still immobile after The “Say Your Prayers” finisher!

*Using his final amount of strength, Lo begins to glow once more, before he leaps off the top rope with what has to be the WORST moonsault in the history of mankind! However, he CONNECTS!*

Bob: FINAL JUDGMENT! FINAL JUDGMENT! FINAL JUDGMENT!

*Lo is DEAD WEIGHT on top of Xiu! He’s SPENT!*

Ref: 1……. 2…….. 3!!!!!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Everyone: ……

*AND IT’S OVER. THAT’S RIGHT. IT’S FUCKING OVER E_E*

Everyone: ……………………

Arzie: uhh… The winner.. And advancing to the next round.. LOOOO-RUHAMAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Winner: Lo-Ruhamah

Bob: Well.. Well Lo wins! Lo with an amazing combination of finishers was able to put away the much.. Much fitter and talented Xiu Shields! He’s going to face Raven Darc in the next around!
Ralph: yeah.. A fresh as a daisy Raven Darc o_o Let’s see him pull out another miracle.

Xiu: >_< GET THIS FAT BASTARD OFF OF ME!

*Seriously. Lo is knocked the fuck out! Break out the smelling salts!*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a first round match in the Ultimate Massacre “Only the Strong” Tournament!

*”The Cursed Image” begins playing through the sound system to a major ovation from the crowd!*

Arzie: Introducing first, hailing from–GAH!!!

*The beautiful ninja warrior Taki appears RIGHT in front of The Ring Announcer, almost causing the poor guy to evacuate his bowels! Cherry blossoms flow beautifully to the ground around her as Arzie attempts to catch his breath.*

Ralph: *INHALES*
Bob: YEAH WE KNOW. NINJA PUPPIES!
Ralph: …
Bob: Tonight will be the first tine in my memory that Taki will be taking on THIS woman in one on one competition!

*”Rhythmic Hallucination” starts up next, bringing down the former Intergalactic Champion, Leona!*

Arzie: And her opponent, making her way down to the ring… She is the blue haired, stoic military warrior… LEEEOOONAAAAA!!!!

*The fans give Leona an equal yet opposite reaction as the stone faced female storms down the aisle!*

Bob: Well, no flash or theatrics from Leona as usual tonight! She however, does look very poised and prepared for battle!
Ralph: I’ve heard that after her encounter with The Grand Champion, and how CLOSE she came to victory, her resolve to fight has come back ten fold! Look what happened in that cage match a few weeks ago!

*Leona Heidern quickly rolls into the ring, before coming face to face with her opponent. While this may be the first time these two women meet in official UCTF competition, they know each other VERY well outside the squared circle!*

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Leona vs. Taki

!!DING DING DING!!

*The Ikari Warrior strikes Taki in the jaw straight away! Taki stumbles backwards into a horse riding position, before quickly performing a handspring to create distance from her opponent! Leona won’t allow Taki to breathe, however, as she launches herself across the ring with a downward right cross! Taki parries away the fist, only to be caught with a left hook! The punch plants her back first into the canvas.

Bob: Leona aggressively attacks at the beginning of the match!

*Leona charges the corner at full speed! Not the smartest idea, as Taki’s teleports out of the way, leaving nothing but sakura petals for Leona to collide with! A half breath later, Taki reappears behind Leona, introducing the former IG champion with a handstand kick to the butt of her chin! The kick is strong enough to lift Leona off the ground, leaving her a sitting duck for Taki’s STIFF kick to the chest! Leona crashes into the corner, while Taki uses that energy to cartwheel halfway across the ring!*

Ralph: That’ll break a sternum!

Leona: …
Taki: …

*The tension builds for a split second, before both Leona and Taki charge each other! Taki rolls on the canvas while Leona leaps above her. The Ninja’s upwards thrusting kick and The Leona Crush meet head on! They parry each other away, Leona blocks the water kick, then parries away Taki’s triple kick “Haste” combination. Taki spins around, going for a hook punch, only for her arm to be caught by Leona, who then judo throws the ninja over her shoulder! Taki flows through the throw, twisting her agile body into landing on her feet! She leaps, driving a dropkick into Leona, absorbs the impact by rolling backwards! She’s back to her feet in an instant, and we have a stalemate!*

Taki: …
Leona: ….>=)

*Or not! Taki looks down at her Dogi… Stuffed right between her ample bosoms is a …*

Taki: O_O!

!!KAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

*EARRING BOMB!*

Bob: LEONA connects with that damn bomb!

*The Dazed Taki can only see a shadowy figure flying towards her through the thick wall of smoke! Right as it clears, Leona NAILS her with a ki filled overhand chop to the head, followed by an equally as powerful uppercut! A blaze of Ki follows forming the letter “V” in the middle of the ring!*

Crowd: OOOOHHH!!!

Bob: V-Slasher by Leona!

*Leona covers Taki, and it’s academic!*

Ref: 1……. 2……… 3!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And it’s that quick folks!
Ralph: My God.. Leona got Taki to drop her guard for a split second and took advantage!
Bob: Leona.. With her renewed vigor heads into the semi-finals!

Winner: Leona

Yeah..Uh
In the name of Jesus
No weapon formed against me shall prosper
And every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn
For this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord
and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.
Amen

*”Lord Give Me a Sign” by DMX begins playing, bringing down the NRA fighter, Gideon!*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a first round match in the Ultimate Massacre “Only the Strong” Tournament! Introducing first, hailing from New York City, New York… He is The IMMORRTTALLLL GIDDEEEOOONNNNN!!

Ralph: He gets an awesome intro, now?
Bob: *SHRUG* The winner of this match-up will go on to face the winner of the Inuyasha/Xamot match up…
Ralph: Which isn’t fair at all. I mean, I know I’m supposed to be impartial but EITHER INUYASHA.. OR XAMOT?!
Bob: Do I have to remind you of what happened between Momoiro Ichigo and Lo-Ruhamah?
Ralph: …no… no you don’t.

*”Bombtrack” by Rage Against the Machine starts up next… Out walks the walking dead warrior from Ancient China…*

Arzie: …and his opponent… hailing from Beijing, China… He is the Undead Demon Pirate… SAAAOOOO FEEEENNNGGGG!!!

Ralph: And thank GOD this guy shut his mouth since his match against Nakita Dahaka!
Bob: I agree, even though he attacked Nakita a few weeks ago. He seems to still be a little sore about not vanquishing his opponent in his debut match an.. Uhh… keeping the name “Dragon” all to himself.
Ralph: …such a stupid fucking match.
Jeice: HEY! IT WASN’T THAT BAD, MATES!

*Bob and Ralph turn around to see Jeice, dressed in a cover all standing behind them.*

Bob: O_o Jeice. This is uhh.. Certainly random.
Jeice: Don’t mind me.. I’m just.. -_- here to clean out this trash can. Then I’ll be on my way.
Ralph: D:

*Back in the ring!*

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Gideon vs. Sao Feng

!!DING DING DING!!

*Both men slowly draw their swords in a slow, exaggerated fashion…*

Ralph: Good idea guys! Save as much energy for that ASS BEATING you’re going to receive in the second round!
Bob: Ralph! Come on!

*It’s a stare down of epic proportions as both men slowly circle each other in the center of the ring…*

Ralph: Ok I’m tired of this already. Someone win so you can get murdered in round two by either Inuyasha or Xamot! >=|
Bob: Ralph! Seriously!

*In a MAJOR fake out, Gideon quickly pulls out a firearm from his side before shooting from across the ring! It’s a great idea… if Sao Feng didn’t have the ability to create a shield out of chi! The Chi Wall sends the non lethal rounds ricocheting back towards Gideon who’s forced to side step! Perfect opportunity for Feng, who springs into attack!*

Sao: DIE!!

*Gideon barely parries away Sao’s killing strike, but he’s NOT fast enough to avoid Sao’s CHI flavored knife edge chop! Gideon is knocked off of his fucking FEET from the strike! Sao powers up once more, now sending a bolt of chi energy firmly into his opponent’s chest!*

Bob: That bolt of energy connects!

*Gideon flips backwards from the hit before landing on the top rope in a perfect three point stance! He’s no worse for wear, except for a singed trench coat. Gideon frowns through his dark shades, before drawing his sword backwards…*

Gideon: HAAAAA!!!

*He swings Nazarine, which shoots a thick stream of lightning directly into Sao! The Pirate manifests his Chi shield just in time, but this ain’t no simply bullet! The manifestation of God’s fury EASILY destroys the demon’s Chi Shield, sending the bolt of lightning coursing through Feng’s body! Feng and his sword separate as the now jolted up pirate lay spread eagled on the canvas!*

!!KARAKATHHHHOOOOOOOOMMM!!

Ralph: hmmm.. Yeah. Gideon’s blast is much better.
Bob: indeed.

*Gideon, still on the top rope, slowly turns around…*

Bob: And this does NOT bold well for Sao Feng!

*Gideon hits a picture perfect moonsault, crashing right on top of the ALREADY unconscious Sao Feng in the center of the ring!*

Bob: And he calls that the Avenging Angel! Gideon covers!

Ref: 1……. 2……… 3!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Ralph: shoulda RP’d -_-
Bob: Gideon almost makes it look too easy, as he’s now defeated both Crawen Darkzeal and Sao Feng in one on one action!
Ralph: Yeah.. He’ll get some competition in round two… TRUST me.

Winner: Gideon

*”Cruel Intentions” by Wicked Wisdom starts up, Bringing down the Amazonian figured Nakita Dahaka down the aisle!*

Ralph: woohoo! Snoo snoo!
Bob: We’ve reached the final match-up of the first round of the women’s tournament. The winner of this following contest will have the misfortune of having to take on Leona in the semi-finals!

Arzie: Introducing first, making her way down to the ring… she stands at six feet, four inches, and weighs in at one hundred eighty-five pounds… she is THE DARK PHENOM… NAKKIIITTTAAAA DAHAAAKKAAAA!!!

Fan: *yawn* e_e

*Nakita leaps over the top rope to enter the ring… Next up, “Koi Wa A La Mode” begins playing, and out runs Nakita’s opponent…*

Arzie: And introducing her opponent… hailing from Kyoto, Japan.. She stands at 140cm and weighs in at 35Kg… She also defeated a VERRRYYYY OBESE Lo-Ruhamah…

*Backstage*

Lo: *twitch* e_e

Arzie: MOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOIROOOOOOOOO ICHIGOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*Momo leaps into the ring, huge goofy, shit eatin’ grin in tow…*

Ralph: I’m… actually surprised Lo-Ruhamah didn’t kill himself following that embarrassing loss to this girl. I mean.. Everything about her just screams “JOBBER! DEATH AFTER ONE MATCH UP” but somehow she pulled it off.
Bob: Well to be fair to Lo.. He was so fat at the time, they probably had to saw his door way down just to fit him through the door…

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Nakita Dahaka vs. Momoiro Ichigo

!!DING DING DING!!

*Nakita Dahaka, OBVIOUSLY wanting to avoid the same embarrassment as the multiple time World Champion quickly lunges towards Ichigo in attempt to take her head off with a nasty Yakuza kick! Momoiro MIRACULOUSLY ducks the kick a mere centimeter before impact! She rolls underneath the much larger foe’s leg, and with a swift kick, she buckles Nakita’s standing leg RIGHT in the knee joint!*

Nakita: X_X!

Bob: The Speedster barely avoids having her face caved in! Nakita is down on one knee!
Ralph: It was like the hand of God himself pushed her out of the way of that kick o_o

*Ichigo leaps to the top rope, with a spectrum of colors following behind her… A split second later, she flies off the top rope, connecting a strike across the face of Dahaka with that DAMN RIBBON! It sends Nakita violently to the canvas like she’d just been hit with a murderous clothesline!*

Bob: Nakita’s down!

*Acting on what may be instinct alone, Dahaka finds herself back to her feet. NOT A GOOD IDEA! Momoiro sprnits by her, leaving a stream of brilliant colors flowing behind her. Speeding randomly around the ring, the colors fill the ring, leaving the large female wrestler dazed and confused as to just what the hell is going on. She finds out in the worst way. The beautiful spectrum inside the ring presents a bold contrast to the vicious beating of punches and kicks about the wrsetler’s body delivered by Ichigo!*

Bob: Ichigo unleashing on Dahaka!

*Finally, the smoke clears, with Dahaka completely motionless in the center of the squared circle! Standing above her is Ichigo, with her foot planted firmly into her breast bone!*

Ralph: You have GOT to be KIDDING me!

*The referee quickly slides into position!*

Ref: 1…….. 2……… 3!!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

*YEP. THAT’S IT. ICHIGO WINS AGAIN! SHE’S STILL UNDEFEATED!*

Bob: Momoiro Ichigo DESTROYS Nakita Dahaka in an impressive squash!!
Ralph: a..are you serious!? That was like an Ultimate Warrior circa 1989 match!
Bob: Momoiro’s impressive streak continues!

Winner: Momoiro Ichigo

*Backstage…*

Leona: e_e……….

Bob: And that wraps it up for the women’s first round! Talon will take on Marcella Grace and Leona will take on…… Momoiro Ichigo in the Semi-Finals.
Ralph: C..Can you imagine Momoiro Ichigo vs. Kunoi?
Bob: I………. no, no I can’t.
Ralph: WELL SHE’S TWO WINS AWAY FROM MAKING THAT A REALITY E_E

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a first round match in the Ultimate Massacre “Only the Strong” Tournament!

*The Arena suddenly goes completely dark following Arzie’s announcement, soon to be followed by Xamot’s theme song: “Forever Torment!” The Demon Warrior storms down to the ring obviously angry…*

Arzie: Introducing first… hailing from the Bamboo forests of Japan, He is the Demon Lord XAAAAMOTTTTT!!!

Bob: And out walks Xamot, who gets to face Inuyasha in the FIRST round of the tournament!
Ralph: Is there… something wrong with that?
Bob: Sasa Dark forces Inuyasha to go through the entire tournament just so he MIGHT get a measure of revenge against Raven Darc, Xamot gets to face the Intergalactic Champion in the first round!
Ralph: …so? o_o
Bob: RAVEN GOT BEN TEN IN THE FIRST ROUND! BEN TEN SUCKS! HE ALMOST LOST THE MATCH ON HIS WAY TO THE RING!
Ralph: now THAT’S true x_x

*While Raven Darc had a breeze in his first round match up, this next competitor will have to go through a former Champion to make it to the second round! “Hanyou Inuyasha” keys up, and out walks the Half-Breed, looking just as determined as his opponent.*

Arzie: And his opponent, hailing from the Feudal Era of Japan… He is both the UCTF Weaponmaster and Intergalactic Champion… The DOGGG DEMONNNNN… INUUUUYASSHAAAA!!!

Ralph: This should be a brutal brawl. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Xamot so pissed off than he is now.
Bob: Who can blame him?!

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Xamot vs. Inuyasha

*Xamot’s building anger finally boils over, and he strikes the smaller half-demon to the ground with a lightning fast kick before Inuyasha can even climb into the ring! The boot to the head sends Inuyasha flying back to the outside of the ring seconds before the “official” bell sounds!*

Ralph: Ok, who didn’t see THAT one coming?!
Bob: The final first round match of this tournament is officially under way! Xamot returns the sneak attack by pummeling the champion with a vicious kick to the face!

*While Inuyasha attempts to regain his bearings on the outside, Xamot powers up to full capacity, transforming into his Seven Foot, Winged Demon form!*

Bob: And Xamot apparently isn’t playing games tonight!

*The Half-breed Demon instinctively reaches for Tessaiga, but he’s not fast enough as Xamot flies through the ropes, TACKLING the Intergalactic Champion off of his feet! Latching onto his opponent, Xamot barrels across the Open Air Arena with his opponent in tow! Evil Intentions fill The Bamboo Forest’s Demon as he prepares to drive Inuyasha through the COMMENTATOR’S tower!*

Bob: HOLY SHIT HE’S COMING THIS WAY!
Ralph: WE’RE GONNA DIE!!

*The Champ slips out of his opponent’s grip and positions himself behind Xamot. Locking on a face lock from behind, Inuyasha yanks backward, actually steering the flying demon away from the commentators tower seconds before impact and back towards the ring, albiet, VERY high in the Arena!!*

Ralph: IDIOT! >=|!

*Regardless of saving Ralph and Bob from certain doom, grabbing Xamot from behind proves not to be the smartest of ideas for the Intergalactic Champion. Xamot’s arches his back, and in the process, drives the razor sharp tips of his wings directly into Inuyasha’s chest! Reacting to the searing pain, Inuyasha loses his grip!*

Bob: Inuyasha’s freefalling towards the canvas!
Ralph: Not good! He’s a sitting duck!

*Xamot swings around before swooping towards the plummetting Half-Demon! Xamot powers up before directly hitting Inuyasha with the Mako Strike!*

Bob: Mako Strike connects!
Ralph: o_o If Inuyasha wore boots, that would have knocked him right out of them.

*The Champion somehow corrects himself on the way down before hitting the center of the ring in a three point stance. Covered in smoke from the ki blast he just received, Inuyasha growls angrily!*

Ralph: Inuyasha landed on his feet!

*The powerful dog demon leaps off the mat, flying several stories into the air! Meeting Xamot half-way, Inuyasha delivers a signature move of his own.*

Inuyasha: IRON REAVER–!!!

*Xamot quickly counters Inuyasha in his attempt to deliver the Iron Reaver Soul Stealer!*

Xamot: DARK WAVE!!!!

*A black wave of energy whips across Xamot’s body before pounding RIGHT into the airborn Dog Demon! Taking the fight right out of Inuyasha, the blast PUNISHES The Intergalactic Champion, driving him back first into the canvas with enough force to make the ring BUCKLE! The four corners of the squared circle all bend inward!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOHHHH!!

Ralph: o_o He didn’t land on his feet that time.

*Backstage, Raven Darc watches the action with a HUGE shit-eating, Jack Swagger-esq grin on his face! He’s clearly enjoying Inuyasha’s dismemberment!*

Raven: =D

*Who’s not enjoying it, though? INUYASHA! Dazed and confused, the Dog slowly stands back up to his feet. As he staggers slightly, the fans plead for him to turn around, as his opponent is plummeting towards him with a sadistic grin on his face!*

Bob: This does not bode well for our Intergalactic Champion!

*Inuyasha turns around and MIRACULOUSLY reverses the Demon Tackle with an over the arm, Judo throw that sends Xamot crashing head first into the nearest turnbuckle!*

Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

Ralph: MIRACLE THROW!
Bob: Indeed. Inuyasha’s gaurdian Angel was definitely on his side there!

*With Xamot down, Inuyasha stalks the demon in the corner. Xamot remains motionless, but his eerie smile never leaves his face.*

Inuyasha: IRON RE— o_o WHAT THE HELL?!

*The Dog Demon makes the error of stepping into Xamot’s shadow! The dark energy rapidly overcomes the Hanyou, before sealing Inuyasha up completely into Xamot’s VOID attack!*

Ralph: VOID!! VOID!! VOID!!
Bob: Xamot proves to be one step ahead of Inuyasha once again! Inuyasha now finds himself stuck in Xamot’s inpenetrable void!

*Xamot’s grin turns to laughter, as the Demon slowly takes to the sky once more. Surrounding his body in ki, Xamot begins to manifest tens, hundreds, THOUSANDS of Nile Stars through-out and above the Open Air Arena! The referee WISELY escapes!*

Bob: I think Xamot’s preparing a Nile Storm for our poor Intergalactic Champion!
Ralph: And Inuyasha is stuck with no way to defend himself!

Xamot: Shi-ne, Inuyasha! NILEEEEEEE STORRRRRRRRRRMMMM!!

*The thousands of powerful ki bolts all begin their descent towards the Half-Breed Demon! With only a second to spare, Inuyasha unsheaths Tessaiga for the first time in the match up! The blade of the mystical weapon glows blood red, before the Champion SHATTERS Xamot’s void with one strike!*

Everyone: O_O!

Ralph: OH SH-

*No more time left, Inuyasha covers up and EATS the Nile Storm head on! The Ring is instantly destroyed, along with the ringside area and the barriers that surround it! The first several rows of fans are knocked back from the impact!*

Bob: DIRECT HIT from the Nile Storm! MY GOD!
Ralph: o_o we just witnessed the birth of a plethora of lawsuits, too.

*The Smoke clears. Xamot lands on the floor of the Arena. Everything remains silent for the next few moments as the referee inspects the damage.*

Ref: …. RING THE B-

!!THOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*The referee is literally in the process of calling the match when Inuyasha’s hand punches through the rubble! More rocks are thrown to the side as The Intergalactic Champion slowly climbs his way out of the mountain of debris!*

Everyone: D:!!

*Backstage*

Raven: D:!!!

*Ringside!*

Inuyasha: That… That Nile Storm was alright. >_<

Bob: HE’S FINE AFTER THAT?!
Ralph: o_o I.. I think it stung a little but yeah. He’s fine.

*Xamot is PISSED! Now drawing every PARTICLE of ki he can, He places his palms together, facing Inuyasha! Again, the Referee runs as far and as FAST as he can! Crowd members behind Inuyasha get out of their seats and flee for their lives as well!*

Xamot: DIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! MEGAAAAAALAAAAAADOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!

*Inuyasha spreads his feet apart and drives his claws deep into the concrete! With both hands firmly locked around the hilt of Tessaiga, Inuyasha EATS the Sixty foot wide Shark-o-ki head on!*

Inuyasha: ARRRGGHGGHHHH!!

Bob: XAMOT’S ULTIMATE KI ATTACK!

Xamot: DIE!
Inuyasha: B-…B-… BAAACKLASHHH WAVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fans Behind Xamot: OH SH-

*The Tessaiga reverses the flow of Xamot’s ki energy, with a healthy dose of the WIND SCAR added to it, BULLSEYE-ING The Demon from the Bamboo woods! Xamot is taken off of his feet! He’s driven several hundred feet backwards into the stands!*

Crowd: *POPS!!!!!!!*

*The Intergalactic Champion, Inuyasha stands in the middle of the rubble, smoldering from Xamot’s attack, Victorious.*

Ref: RING THE BELL!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: Inuyasha Advances!!!
Ralph: I’ve never seen that much resiliance from anyone before in my life! >_< He took The Nile Storm AND The Megaladon and didn’t flinch! I… I hope Raven loses in the second round. o_o I don’t want him to have to face Inuyasha.

Winner and Advancing to the Semi-Finals: Inuyasha

Arzie: LADIEEESSS AND GENTLEMEN.. THE FOLLOWING IS AN ONLY THE STRONG SEMI FINAL MATCH….

*”We Don’t Care Anymore” by Story of the Year begins playing, bringing down the first competitor…*

Arzie: Introducing first.. Advancing to the second round by defeating her tag team partner Bat-Girl… She is one half of the UCTF Tag Team Champions… TAAAAAALLLOOOOOOOOONNNNN!!

Bob: Talon squeaked a victory by Bat-Girl in a match that could have honestly gone either way in the first round.
Ralph: Honestly, I thought she was done for until the final exchange in that match up!

*Next up, “Let Me Be Your Armor” kicks up…*

Arzie: And her opponent, earning her spot in the semifinals after decimating Crawen Darkzeal… She is the Demon Hunting nun and a vampire’s WORST nightmare… MARRRCELLAAAAA GRAAAACCCEEE!!!

Bob: Both women had hard fought victories in their respective matches. This is where things begin to get interesting!
Ralph: Hard Fought? Marcella got attacked by a WOLF, Bob! I’m surprised she’s still able to walk!

*Marcella stares across the ring at Talon who’s been motionless since entering the ring.*

Talon: e_e…

Ralph: and uhh… to be honest, I’m concerned with Nun-puppies well being. o_o She’s only good with a gun or a sword, right?
Bob: Well, she has HVPA trained hand to hand combat skills…
Ralph: Yeah.. Let’s hope she remembers that shit. Talon doesn’t look mentally stable.

*Ralph is right on this one! As soon as the bell sounds…*

!!DING DING DING!!

*X-23 charges Marcella like a dog responding to Pavlov’s bell!*

Ralph: OH SHIT! MARCELLA, RU–

*However, Marcella catches X-23’s arm and JUDO tosses her over her head! X-23 hits the canvas so hard, the ENTIRE ring shakes!*

Everyone: O_O!

Ralph: D:!
Bob: I.. Uhh.. Think she’ll be alright against Talon.

Only The Strong
Round 2
Talon vs. Marcella Grace

*Back to her feet, X-23 charges again! Marcella sidesteps, shoving Talon in the small of her back towards the ropes. She bounces back, right into the waiting arms of the Nun, who tosses her over her head with a hiptoss! X-23 contorts her body midair, landing PERFECTLY on her feet, before delivering a lightning fast dropkick to the chest! Marcella flies back into the ropes! As the ropes shoot her back towards the ring, X-23 leaps onto her shoulders, before quickly throwing herself backwards with the leg scissors take over! Marcella is sent flipping forward through the move, but twists HER body mid-air to land on her feet! When X-23 turns around, she’s ALMOST surprised to see her opponent still standing! She charges, only to be tripped up with a drop to hold! Seconds before her face meets mat, She rolls through, before kipping back to her feet!*

Marcella: o_o!
Talon: …

Bob: Talon showing amazing agi–

*Talon charges and is caught with a SECOND Drop toe hold, THIS one connecting perfectly!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

Bob: Nevermind!
Ralph: Marcella is in rare form o_o
Bob: Especially for someone who just got mauled by a Wolf?
Ralph: Exactly!
Bob: Well thus far she’s scouted everything The Tag Team Champion can throw at her!

*Marcella charges her opponent, and taking a page out of her business associate (two steps away from being lover, BTW e_e) Lo-Ruhamah, she WALKS up X-23’s body!*

Bob: Heavenly step kick?!!?

*It would be, if Talon weren’t to DODGE the kick! Now off balance, Marcella is SHOVED into the corner! However, Marcella catches catches herself by grabbing onto the ropes, and instead, thrusts herself backwards, leveling Talon in the face with a nasty heel kick!*

Bob: rebound kick!

*That kick, AMAZINGLY didn’t knock out X-23 on contact, but it is successful in staggering the clone! Marcella lunges towards her opponent to capitalize, but is quickly reversed with an over the head Judo arm throw!*

Ralph: BAM!!
Bob: Oooh!! NASTY toss there by Talon! Obvious payback for the beginning of this match up!

*Talon throws Marcella into the corner by the throat, and let’s the woman of God have it with a flurry of violent, and blazing fast boxing strikes to the body! X-23 draws back, hoping to put Marcella out to pasture with a haymaker, but she misses WIDE! Grace somehow rolls out of the way and ends up behind the Clone!*

Bob: Talon in trouble!

*Talon turns round RIGHT as Marcella walks up her body, THIS time NAILING the Heavenly Step Kick!*

Ralph: Got her!
Bob: indeed! Marcella looks like her light is dimming!

*She stumbles out of the corner, right into the waiting arms of Marcella, who hits a BEAUTIFUL Northern Lights Suplex!*

Ref: 1…… 2……. 2.99999999999!!

Bob: Not quite!
Ralph: .. I bet Lo taught her that wrestling move.. Among others…
Bob: Ralph! She’s a damn Virgin!
Ralph: You think that’s helping me think less sexual about her???

*On the way back to their feet, the resilient Talon suddenly strikes Marcella in the chin with a NASTY boxing uppercut! Marcella flies into the corner! She stumbles into the corner, where X-23 hits her OWN version of the Northern Lights Suplex!*

Bob: Talon responds with her own Northern Lights!

Ref: 1.. 2….. 2.999999999!!!

Bob: And the same result!
Ralph: hey! That’s kinda disrespectful of her!

*Both women waste no time pulling themselves back to their feet. In a show of desperation by both women, they leap into the air, nailing each other with a tandem spinning heel kicks to the skull!*

Crowd: OOOOHHH!!

Ralph: Wow. Great Minds.
Bob: Both of those kicks were as clean as can be. Let’s see who wants it more! Who can get up from this?!

*The referee aggressively counts towards the magic number of ten, as both women fight to stand back to their feet after several brain jarring blows that they’ve sustained!*

Ralph: What happens if neither gets up?! WHAT IF MOMOIRO ICHIGO BEATS LEONA AND NEITHER OF THESE WOMEN GET UP?! SHE’S THE #1 CONTENDER TO THE GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
Bob: Calm Down, Ralph! Talon is back up to her feet!

*X-23 strikes first with a Roundhouse! It’s blocked! Marcella responds with a roundhouse of her own! It TOO is blocked! Talon drives a knife edged chop into Marcella’s chest, followed by a stiff punch to the face! She spins, attempting to take Marcella’s head off with a spinning backhand, but The Nun ducks! That error costs X-23, who is hit in the face with a POWERFUL roundhouse to the face! Marcella spins through the kick and comes around with a spinning heel!*

Bob: TWO BRUTAL KICKS BY MARCELLA!

*Marcella finishes with a third kick to the chest, sending Talon into the ropes! When Talon rebounds from the ropes, Marcella attempts another Heavenly step kick. X-23 ducks and responds with a leg scissors take over!*

Bob: Marcella goes to the well once too many!

*Now on her hands and knees, Marcella falls victim to X-23 who vaults OFF of her back and uses that to spring herself to the top rope!*

Everyone: WHOA!

Ralph: OH NO!
Bob: This is the same move she defeated her tag team partner with!

*X-23 throws herself off of the top rope with that DEADLY kick aimed at the base of Marcella’s skull. Seconds before the kick connects, Marcella rolls out of her way! X-23 crashes onto the canvas off balance, leaving a precious opening for The Former NRA Champion!*

Bob: Marcella avoids the kick!

*It’s now or never for Marcella, with Talon off balance, she charges toward the cloned mutant! The fans, now on the edge of their seats watch the Demon Hunting nun swinging a wild right haymaker towards X-23. It doesn’t connect! X-23 blocks the strike and parries Marcella with such force that it spins the nun around 360 degrees!*

Bob: Not good for Marcella!

*Talon has enough time to prepare a BIG right roundhouse aimed at Marcella’s skull. The nun manages to avoid the kick!*

Bob: Marcella Do–

*However, using the SAME momentum from the roundhouse, Talon, now with her back to Marcella sends a FIERCE left heel DIRECTLY on the butt of Marcella’s chin, LEVELING the Nun!*

Ralph: CHRIST!
Bob: Marcella’s down!

*Grace crashes lifelessly to the canvas, COMPLETELY unconscious! Grabbing the palm of the nun’s hand, the referee checks the downed fighter.. But it is of no use.*

Ref: RING THE BELL, SHE CAN’T CONTINUE!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: Is it? YES. IT’S OVER! TALON ADVANCES TO THE FINALS!
Ralph: nooo! =( Nun puppies!

*”We Don’t Care Anymore” starts up again as the referee quickly raises X-23’s hand in air in victory, before immediately going back to the unconscious nun.*

Winner and Advancing to the Finals: Talon

Bob: Talon lured Marcella in with that feint right roundhouse before completely obliterating her with the left heel! What a match-up!
Ralph: Are you kinda.. Hoping that Momoiro Ichigo makes it to the finals just so she can face X-23 and get eviscerated?
Bob: I..uhh.. Try to stay impartial to these types of things o_o

Arzie: And the Following is a semi-final, Only The Strong Tournament Match-up!

*The night carries on with Soil’s “Halo,” Bringing down the three time Intergalactic Champion!*

Arzie: Introducing first.. Making his way down the aisle… He advanced by decimating Ben Tennyson in his first round match…

Ralph: Hell, Arzie, show the replay! The match was so fast we can show the entire thing before Raven arrives to the ring itself!

Arzie: He is the former three time Intergalactic Champion… RRRAAAAAVVVEEENNN DARRRRCCCC!!!

*Once Inside the ring, The Steve Wilkos Theme starts up again!*

Arzie: Aaaandd his Opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Steve Wilkos… he defeated Xiu Shields to advance, THE UNLOVED ONE, LOOOOOOO-RUHAMAHHHHHHH!!

Ralph: I’m surprised he’s able to waddle down the ring after almost killing himself against Xiu >=| Speaking of which, has it been confirmed if Xiu has a shattered rib cage from that fatass’ miracle moonsault earlier?
Bob: Uhh.. No, I don’t think so.

*All party members are inside the ring, with Steve Wilkos staring a hole through Raven!*

Steve: e_e Isn’t that the sicko who ties up women?
Lo: The hell if I know! >=|
Steve: HEY, RAVEN, YOU LIKE TYING UP WOMEN!?
Raven: uhh.. o_o…

Ralph: He’s gonna say it.. HE’S GONNA SAY IT!
Bob: …

Steve: GET OFF MY STAGE! >=|

Crowd: *POPS!*

Ralph: YES! YES HE SAID IT! God I love that guy!
Bob: O_o well he has a screw loose. We’re not in Chicago tonight. Besides, if he knew some of Lo’s extra-curricular activities with cats.

!!DING DING DING!!

Only The Strong
Round 2
Raven Darc vs. Lo-Ruhamah

Raven: so uhh.. O_o you gained a few…
Lo: e_e
Raven: and.. Nice… sweat suit?
Lo: ….
Raven: and all over a belt?
Lo: …>=|!!

*UH OH! Wrong choice of words for Raven! The World Championship is NOT “Just a belt” to Lo-Ruhamah, who held the title for a record NINE MONTHS during UCTF’s hayday!*

Lo: ARRRGHHH!!

*Lo and Raven lock up wrestling style, with Lo using all of his strength to push the larger of the two into the corner!*

Raven: Whoa whoa whoa! O_o Calm down! you.. You really need to get laid, don’t you?
Lo: FUCK YOU!

*Ruhamah manages to push Raven a half a step back before The half demon easily FLINGS Lo across the ring like a small child! Lo hits the canvas and rolls into the corner like an armadillo! Raven playfully flexes his bicep to the stunned crowd.*

Ralph: Yeah, not smart trying to overpower Raven… especially when you’re still in tubbyville.

Crowd: OOOOHHH!!

Raven: ^_^ And that’s FATASS Lo I just tossed!

*Raven’s smile fades as he switches back into full business mode! A running thrust kick finds it’s way across Lo’s fat jowls in the corner! As he collapses into a sitting position, Raven unleashes several more stomps to the chest!*

Steve: GET UP JONNY! GET UP AND TAKE IT TO THAT BONDAGE FFFFREAK! >=|

Bob: Raven unleashing some serious punishment on Lo, here!
Ralph: I think Steve running his mouth on the outside is doing nothing to help his guy right now.

*Or not! Suddenly, from his prone state, Lo-Ruhamah begins to fire back with blows to the gut that are DANGEROUSLY close to the belt region!*

Steve: THAT’S RIGHT! HIT HIM AGAIN!!

*Gaining a second wind, Lo begins to rise from the corner as his blows to the bread basket build strength, culminating with a HOLY PUNCH!*

Steve: THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT, LO!

*Lo hits the ropes, torpedoing himself head first into the wounded gut area of his opponent! Raven somersaults from the impact!*

Bob: LO WITH A BIG MOVE!
Ralph: That wasn’t pretty at all o_o
Bob: Not at all, but it’s getting the job done right now!

Steve: DON’T LET UP ON HIM! PUT HIM IN THE MASTERLOCK!

Everyone: O_o?

*The half demon rolls out of the ring to separate himself from Lo-Ruhamah…*

Steve: HEY, COWARD! WHERE YOU GOING COWARD?!?! GET BACK IN THE R–MPHHHH!!

!!POP!!

*Without warning, Raven sends Steve flying with a Savate kick that lands right on the chin! The ex-marine spins 180 degrees from the impact of the kick, slamming his big bald dome into the steel steps a few feet away.*

Ralph: OH GOD NO! STEVE!
Bob: I.. Uhh.. He actually had that coming o_o

*Raven FINALLY shuts up the loud mouth from Chicago, but the decision to take his eyes off of his REAL opponent proves to be detrimental! Ruhamah flings his tub of lard body over the top rope in the worst looking tope in the history of mankind, but it CONNECTS!*

Bob: Lo-Ruhamah connects with the Suicide Dive!
Ralph: D: Raven’s been crushed!
Bob: The former World Champion now throwing Raven Darc back into the ring! Will we see a second miracle here tonight?! Will Lightning strike twice?!

*Lo climbs to the top rope, daring to attempt another moonsault, this time to the supine Raven Darc! He throws himself backwards, somehow making it a full turn before NAILING the Final Judgment Moonsault!*

Bob: HE CONNECTS! HE CONNECTS!

*Lo covers!*

Ref: 1……… 2………..

*a NANO second before The referee’s hand slams down to the canvas for the three, Raven throws the tip of his boot over the bottom rope, breaking the count!*

Everyone: D:!!!!!!!!!

Bob: Raven gets his foot on the rope at the LAST possible moment!!!
Ralph: Lo, you better think of something, and do it quickly!

*Quickly lifting Raven back to his feet, Lo-Ruhamah hastily locks Raven into a waist lock from behind. He throws all of his weight backward, slamming Raven into a German Suplex! He keeps the move locked, slowly turning and pulling Raven’s body back up!*

Lo: ARRRGHHH!!!

!!BAM!!

*He hits a second suplex, and again, rolls with it, pulling himself and Raven back to their feet.*

Raven: >=|! NO!

*The Half demon fights back, elbowing Lo-Ruhamah with ferocity! The hold slips and Raven breaks free. However, the moment he turns around, Ruhamah has a surprise for him!*

Raven: ARRRGHHH!!
Lo: AAHHHHHHHH!! >=|!!

!!FLOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*Lo’s entire body burns as bright as the Sun for a split second, blinding the Half-demon! Raven INSTANTLY goes down to the canvas, writhing in pain, while Lo, know on his knees, tries to regain composure!*

Bob: LIGHT FOR THE BLIND! But can Lo-Ruhamah capitalize?!
Ralph: NO! He’s about to have a heart attack as is!

*Lo-Ruhamah manages to climb to his feet first and grabs Raven’s wrist. Immediately, twists Raven around for the Purgatory Whip…*

Bob: Raven’s being twi–WAIT!

*Raven snaps out of the wrist lock and spins Lo back around. Now facing each other, Raven quickly SNAPS the former World Champion to the canvas face first!*

Ralph: JESUS!
Bob: ENDLESS WALTZ! OUT OF NO WHERE!

*Raven quickly covers, STILL partially blinded from The “Light for the Blind” as the ref slides into position.*

Ref: 1…….. 2……….. 3!

*And it’s over!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Ralph: Welp.. The Cinderella story ends for Lo…
Bob: Raven hits his devastating finisher out of thin air and is the first to advance to the finals! Who will he be facing later tonight?! Gideon or Inuyasha?!

Winner and Advancing to the Finals: Raven Darc

Arzie: The following is a SEMI-FINAL match in the UCTF “Only The Strong” WOMEN’S Tournament!

*”Rhythmic Hallucination” starts up…*

Arzie: Introducing first.. On her way down that aisle.. LEEEEOOONAAAA!!!

*Leona looks even MORE determined than in her earlier appearance!*

Ralph: Come on Leona! Don’t get embarrassed! Don’t let it be like.. The NNNN match o_o
Bob: x_x the night she doesn’t want anyone to remember. God, for her sake I hope not as well, Ralph.

*Leona climbs into the ring and that’s it! She faces the ring and doesn’t BUDGE. She’s in pure statue form! Next up, “Koi Wa A La Mode” kicks up! Out SKIPS Leona’s opponent, Momoiro Ichigo! Her smile is still there, as she has NO concern over this next match!*

Arzie: AND HER OPPONENT.. WELCOME BACK MOMOIROOOOO ICHIGGGOOOO!!!!!!!!

*Ichigo bounces to the top rope and raises that damn rainbow spewing ribbon high above her head!*

Bob: Here we go… The winner will face Talon in the finals of this tournament! Who will it be?!

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 2
Leona vs. Momoiro Ichigo

!!DING DING DING!!

*The Speedster leaps off the top rope and CONNECTS with the Ribbon across the skull of Leona out of no where!*

Bob: THE RIBBON CONNECTS!
Ralph: OH NO! OH NONONONO!

*Leona staggers from the attack, leaving Momoiro to begin her caffeine fueled sprinting around the ring! All the colors of the rainbow begin to fill the ring again!*

Ralph: Don’t tell me this is going to end the same way! And in HALF the time it took her to beat Nakita?!

*Through the confusion of colors she’s created in the ring, Momoiro springs through the air towards Leona with a flying kick, but she’s SPEARED out of the air by the former Intergalactic Champion! Heidern pins Momoiro to the ground and delivers several VICIOUS UNSHIELDED strikes to Ichigo’s face! Pulling Momo back to her feet, Leona takes a half step back, before NAILING her in the face with a stiff roundhouse! Momoiro collapses like a tree before crashing into the corner!*

Crowd: OOOOH!! O_O

Bob: JESUS!!

*Charging towards the corner like an out of control locomotive, Leona delivers a NASTY kick to the side of Momoiro’s face! The kick is so powerful it turns Ichigo’s body completely! Now, half of her body is stretched over the bottom rope, exposing her head and shoulders to the apron! Leona slowly leaves the ring. Now standing on the apron, she delivers an AXE kick to the back of Momoiro’s head, almost crushing the poor girl’s skull between her leg and the apron!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOH!!

Ralph: o_o..h..how did I ever think that this would go any other way?
Bob: Ref!! HOW MUCH MORE IS HE GOING TO ALLOW!?

*Leona drags Momoiro’s body back into the center of the ring, before delivering blatant, and repeating kicks to the groin! She follows this with a SOCCER kick to the face! Momoiro bounces off of the canvas into a kneeling position, where Leona then delivers a VERY low arm slash that knocks the girls feet from under her. In the same breath, Leona delivers a upper striking kick that juggles Momoiro into the air! This is followed by several stiff strikes in midair, followed by her “X-Calibur” technique!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ralph: D:
Bob: …..

Leona: …….
Ref: ……….

*Leona drops a Earring bomb that INSTANTLY explodes upon contact! Momoiro’s already lifeless body flies out of the ring and into the security railing on the outside! The referee FINALLY intervenes, calling for the match to cease!*

Bob: It’s about FUCKING time Referee!
Ralph: o_o how could I think..
Bob: Momoiro had us all fooled Ralph. But her luck ran out when she faced Leona Heidern! My GOD!

Winner and Moving to the Finals: Leona

Arzie: The following is a semi-final match in the UCTF Only The Strong Tournament…

Yeah..Uh
In the name of Jesus
No weapon formed against me shall prosper
And every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn
For this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord
and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.
Amen

*DMX’s “Lord Give Me a Sign” plays once more, bringing down the ex-new york police officer!*

Arzie: Making his way down to the ring, advancing by defeating Sao Feng with the “Avenging Angel” He is known as the Holy Redeemer… Welcome GIIIDDDEEOOONNNNN!

Bob: Gideon finished off Sao Feng in his first round match up, but he is about to take on a totally different beast here in a few moments!
Ralph: yeah… His theme song is about Christianity… He’s going to need Jesus whenever his opponent gets his hands on him…

*That ominous message by Ralph is accompanied by The half-breed’s theme song, “Hanyou Inuyasha!” The dog demon walks through the curtain, slowly making his way down the aisle.*

Arzie: And his opponent, on the way to the ring…. he advance to the semi-finals by defeating Xamot with his patented “BACKLASH WAVE” he is the Current UCTF Weaponmaster AND Intergalactic Champion…. He is the Dog Demonnnnn… INNNUUUUUYASSSHHHAAAAAA!

*The Double Champion hops into the ring, drawing his Tessaiga upon arrival. Gideon frees Nazarene from it’s Sheath and both men are prepared to battle!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Only The Strong
Round 2
Inuyasha vs. Gideon

*Gideon fires off a massive bolt of electricity from Nazarene into the Champion, who leaps out of it’s path. As Inuyasha comes down, Gideon catches him with a big kick to the mid-section! He tumbles backwards from the kick, rolling back to his feet just as Gideon attempts to take his head off with his blade! Tessaiga collides with Nazarene as Inuyasha overpowers the Holy Redeemer, before kicking him clear across the ring! Gideon flips backwards and lands perfectly on his feet.*

Bob: Gideon not afraid to go right after the Intergalactic Champion!
Ralph: That’s about his only strategy… that or somehow trick Inuyasha to count himself outside the ring o_o Cause he’s not going to knock out Inuyasha. He’s not going to pin him, and he’s damn sure not going to make him submit!
Bob: And you talk about me being biased!
Ralph: I’m not! I’m being completely objective here. There’s no chance in hell Inuyasha’s going to lose this match!
Bob: Remember when Team Rocket won the Tag Team Ch–
Ralph: SHUTUP! >=| THAT WAS TEN YEARS AGO! SHUTUP!

*Charging towards Inuyasha, The Holy Redeemer drives his blade into the canvas! The bolt of energy shoots into the mat, springing Gideon into the air and over the head of Inuyasha! The dog demon turns to counter, but only manages to catch the laces of Gideon’s boot across the face! As his opponent sails from the kick, Gideon catches his prey in mid-flight with a bolt of lightning from his sword! The champ lands on his shoulders, and a split second later kips back up to his feet! Unfortunately for him, he’s now flying right into the flying foot of Gideon! He connects with the “Angel’s Talon” round house, sending the dog demon upside down!*

Bob: BIG ROUNDHOUSE KICK from Gideon!
Ralph: Hey.. What the hell? >=| He actually connected twice!
Bob: Were you expecting this match to be over already?
Ralph: YES! I want this freaking card to be over! I’ve got stuff to do!

*Upside down, Inuyasha shows impressive agility by springing off of his hand back to his feet.*

Inuyasha: *Grrr* Alright. Play time is over!

*Gideon comes at the Champion with another bolt of lightning… THIS time, Inuyasha deflects the attack back into the Holy Redeemer with the Sheath of Tessaiga! Gideon, with a sudden need to avoid his own attack, leaves himself open for a MASSIVE kick from the barefooted half demon that connects against his nose!*

Bob: Inuyasha fires back!

*Now it’s the Intergalactic Champion’s time to play! The brute from Feudal Japan rushes Gideon, keeping the pressure on with several vicious strikes with Tessaiga! To his credit, Gideon manages to block the strikes of Tessaiga with Nazarene for a few moments, until Inuyasha’s impressive strength finally manages to overpower and overwhelm! Nazarene is knocked from Gideon’s arms, leaving the Holy Redeemer unarmed!*

Ralph: WHOOT! Finish him off, kid!

*Gideon dashes backward into the corner as Inuyasha leaps in with his claws drawn!*

Inuyasha: IRON REAVER, SOUL STEALER!!!

*Gideon rolls to safety, leaving Inuyasha’s claws to rip through the turnbuckle like George The Animal Steele! It’s a perfect opportunity for the Redeemer to unleash THE TWINS™! Gideon unloads his babies on into the dog demon! Not even HE’S fast enough to block them all! Tessaiga is knocked from his palm, leaving the swordsman almost naked!*

Inuyasha: … >=|!

Bob: Gideon has Inuyasha on the ropes.. AGAIN!
Ralph: Yeah, Seriously! What the hell?!
Bob: Come on Ralph! Gideon glided through his match while Inuyasha had a hell of a match against Xamot!
Ralph: SO WHAT?!?!!?

*Without any other plan, Inuyasha simply RUSHES Gideon, taking every single non-lethal round head on like a man!*

Inuyasha: ARRRRGGHHHHH!!

*Not the smartest plan! Gideon kicks him in the gut, and quickly hits a massive DDT!*

Ralph: *THROWS HIS HANDS UP* WHAT !?!?
Bob: HOLY REDEMPTION by Gideon! I think Inuyasha may be unconscious from that!

*Gideon, looking for a miracle, climbs to the top rope!*

Bob: Gideon can make himself famous right here if he defeats Inuyasha!
Ralph: I should have put money on this.. Shouldn’t I?

*Gideon launches himself, hitting a picture perfect moonsault in the center of the ring!*

Bob: AVENGING ANGEL! AVENGING ANGEL! AVENGING ANGEL CONNECTS!

*The Ref slides into position!*

Ref: ON–

*And Inuyasha LAUNCHES Gideon off of him before the count of one!*

Crowd: D:!!!

Bob: AND NOT EVEN A ONE!
Ralph: o_o holy crap.. He beat Sao Feng with that!

*BUT NOT INUYASHA! Frantic, Gideon searches for Nazarene as Inuyasha slowly climbs back to his feet…*

Inuyasha: Iron Reaver… >=| SOUL STEALER!

*Inuyasha pounces from across the ring, and Gideon just BARELY manages to get his sword between him and the sharp claws of his opponent! Bad news for the half-breed, because Gideon then charges his blade up with as much lightning energy as he can muster!*

!!KAAAAATHOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Bob: GIDEON WITH THE MASSIVE BOLT OF ELECTRICITY!

*On his back, and without his sword to protect him, Inuyasha is helpless as Gideon shoots through the air toward him! The blade of Nazarene is charged full of lightning energy! Seconds before impact, Inuyasha matches to put his sheath in the path!*

!!KATTTTTHOOOOM!!

Bob: Inuyasha blocks what would have no doubt been the finishing strike!

*Channeling more electrical energy through is blade, Gideon attempts to put the finishing touches into Inuyasha and maybe the upset of 2008!*

Gideon: ARRRGHHH!!!!
Inuyasha: RRRARRRGGHH!! YOU’RE STRONG.. I’LL GIVE YOU THAT!

*Inuyasha however, the MUCH stronger of the two, drives his foot into Gideon’s rib-cage!*

Inuyasha: But I’m INUYASHA! ARRRRRGGHHH!!

*With a fierce thrust, Gideon is flung across the ring! Inuyasha quickly rolls backwards, and recovers Tessaiga.*

Bob: The Intergalactic Champion has managed to fend off Gideon, and now has Tessaiga back!
Ralph: I was.. Actually starting to get worried there for a second…

Inuyasha: Alright. Let’s say we finish this?
Gideon: …Let’s.

*A column of lightning suddenly falls from the heavens and into Nazarene! Gideon is fully charged!*

Bob: I.. I think they’re about to settle this one!
Ralph: Gideon, there’s not enough lightning in Asgard o_o.. Don’t do it!

Gideon: ..HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

*Gideon leaps off the top rope!*

Inuyasha: ………KAZEEEEEEEEEEE NOOOOOOO KIZUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

*The Wind Scar from Tessaiga meets with Nazarene’s Holy Blast, emitting a blinding, white light of energy throughout the arena! The crowd have to turn from the attack.. As the roar of thunder subsides, everything is quiet for a few moments…*

Bob: Both attacks collided! What happened?!

*The smoke begins to clear, and the red hue of Inuyasha’s jacket is the first to appear. He stands above The unconscious Holy Redeemer.*

Inuyasha: heh. e_e.

Ref: x_X.. R-ring it.

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: It’s over! Inuyasha’s now in the finals against…
Ralph: Raven Darc. o_o
Bob: This.. This should be epic!

Winner and Advancing to the Finals: InuYasha

*As Gideon is helped to the back to a nice ovation from the crowd, “We Don’t Care Anymore” by Story of the Year starts up! Down walks one half of the tag team champions, as focused and stoic as ever after surviving two BRUTAL matches to make it into the finals!*

Bob: And we’re not wasting any time here it seems! Looks like we’re going to have the Women’s finals right now!
Ralph: Not good for Inuyasha… I’m sure he wants this match up to last in order to recover from his close match up with.. Gideon e_e..
Bob: You’re right.. The faster this match up is, the more it favors Raven Darc!

*The moment X-23 climbs into the ring, “Rhythmic Hallucination” keys up.. Out walks Leona Heidern, the stone faced killer of the Ikari Warriors! After her performance earlier tonight, the fans are too afraid to jeer!*

Bob: And here comes the woman who might as well ended the career of Momoiro Ichigo earlier tonight!
Ralph: That was one of the most brutal beatings in the history of the UCTF. SERIOUSLY. She has certainly grown more sadistic over the years!
Bob: More sadistic than blowing up her boyfriend?
Ralph: .. ok. Point made.. Point made.. She’s always been a sick bitch!

*Both women are now inside the squared circle, and having the unfortunate luck to stand in between them is Arzie, the ring announcer.*

Arzie: Lu-lu-..Ladies and Gentlemen… the following contest is the FINAL MATCH in the Women’s bracket of the Only The Strong Tournament! The winner will not only become this year’s OTS Champion, but they will also named the Number 1 contender to The UCTF Grand Championship…

Crowd: YAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!

Arzie: Introducing First… She advanced to the finals by defeating Bat-Girl and Marcella Grace, and she is one half of the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting’s Tag Team Championship…. SHE IS X-23…. TAAAAAALLLOOOONNNNN!

*Talon doesn’t bat an eyelash at the mention of her name, nor the reaction from the screaming fans around her. She never, even once, takes her glare away from Leona. And for good reason!*

Arzie: And her opponent… Advancing to the Finals by defeating The Ninja, Taki, and her decimation of Momoiro Ichigo… She is known simply as… LEEEEOOOONNNAAAAA!!!

*Leona follows suit, never taking her eyes off of Talon, even as the jeers in the crowd begin to fill the open air arena!*

Bob: The pleasantries are now under way… We are about to have our first Strong Woman Champion since 2002!
Ralph: mmm.. Carmencita…

Only The Strong Tournament
FINALS
Talon vs. Leona

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And we’re under w–

*Charging Talon, Leona flings an earring bomb across the ring, while Talon unsheathes her blades! The Mutant swats at the bomb with her left… The Adamantium claws connect with the miniature devise, which of course, explodes on impact! Talon rushes through the billowing smoke, she’s snarling like an animal, her right arm is behind her, drawn and ready, but not fast enough to stop Leona’s flying kick to the grill followed by the Moon Slasher! Leona leaps into the air, V-SLASHER!*

Bob: Talon taken down with a quick combo to open the match!

*Talon falls backwards from the jumping strike, and uses that momentum to roll to fists. Driving her claws into the canvas, she stiffens into a handstand and kicks Leona, who managed to wander too close to the opponent!*

Bob: Leona tried to keep the pressure on and fell right into that kick by the champ!

*Both women return to their feet in tandem., with Leona rushing once more towards the clawed Mutant with no regard!*

Ralph: holy crap!
Bob: Leona rushing in again!

*She ducks a while swing from X-23, quickly punishing her with a knife edged slice to the stomach, followed by an uppercut to X-23’s adamantium laced jaw with enough force to lift Talon off of her feet! Leona juggles the mutant in the air like a ball, delivering a deadly combination of kicks and punches that send the Tag Team Champion into the corner.*

Bob: Leona with ANOTHER combination! X-23 stuck in the corner!
Ralph: She’s not giving Wolf puppies any time to recover! Smart!

Leona: ARRRGGGHH!!

*Leona unleashes her Green Ki energy orb, the “Baltic Launcher” directly into the trapped in the corner X-23, engulfing the mutant!*

Bob: Baltic Launcher connects!

*The ball of chi knocks X-23 Airborne! Leona catches the Tag Team Champion midair in the belly to belly suplex position, and while both women are turning in midair, Leona delivers a sick dropkick to the chest, adding to the velocity of X-23 smashing into the canvas! Before Talon’s body finishes it’s fall, Leona tosses an earring bomb into her path!*

Ralph: EARRING BOMB!

!!KABOOOOM!!

*THIS one connects, knocking the mutant all the way across the ring! Somehow, X-23 manages to slowly stand back to her feet!*

Ralph: She’s getting up after that?!!?
Bob: Some how… Her toughness is without question, but Bob: X-23 cannot keep allowing Leona to connect these high impact moves if she wants to win this match!

*And again, Leona rushes towards X-23, performing a somersault in midair and coming down with a dropkick! But THIS time, X-23 telegraphs, MURDERING the falling Leona with a flying kick to the face, following through with a left kick using the same energy! Leona turns inside out from the contact before hitting the canvas in a heap!*

!!POP POP!!

Crowd: OOOOOOHHH!!

Bob: Leona batted out of the sky with an impressive flying spin kick!
Ralph: I think she heard your advice, Bob! o_o

*To her credit, Leona recovers from the fall, quickly wrapping her legs around Talon’s leg to bring her down for a leg-lace! It’s in vain, as Talon drops a knee on Leona’s groin!*

Crowd: OH ! >_<

Bob: Shot to the groin by Talon!

*Talon yanks Leona back to her feet by her long blue hair, before unleashing a punching two-hitter elbow strike across both sides of Leona’s face! The second elbow causes Leona to stagger a half step back, in perfect position for the roundhouse to the side/back of the neck! This causes Leona to ever so slightly lean forward, right into a over the shoulder Judo arm through by Talon! Talon throws her entire body behind the toss, and actually rolls OVER Leona the moment she hits the canvas! That momentum springs Talon back to her feet, which she quickly uses to vault to the top rope…*

Ralph: Bob, I think she’s going for that.. That axe kick from the top rope!
Bob: The move she put away her tag team partner with! Will she connect?!

*With Leona in the perfect position, Talon launches off of the top rope and NAILS the Downward Guillotine Kick!*

Bob: AND SHE CONNECTS! AMAZING, NEW ONLY THE STRONG WOMEN’S CHAMPION!

Ref: 1…. 2…….. 2.9999999999999!!!

*NOT SO FAST BOB, Leona kicks out!*

Crowd: AAAAAAWWWWW =(

*X-23 does the right thing, KEEPING the pressure on Leona! As Talon begins pulling Leona back to her feet, the blue haired warrior fires back with a straight jab to the mid-section which successfully staggers Laura back a few steps. Leona leaps right towards her, attempting another “Baltic Launcher” ki attack! X-23 ducks the slow moving ball of ki, jabbing Leona right in the face! Leona eats the punch while still moving forward in attempt to push Talon into the still floating, massive ball of ki right behind her!*

Bob: Leona attempting to shove Talon into that ball of energy! Talon fighting back to keep away from it!

*Talon delivers BRUTAL knees to the chest, but the hits un-deter Leona who strikes back with a wild knife edged chop across the face! The strike spins Talon around, who is now facing the chi blast only mere inches away! Leona grabs her by the hair and pushes with all of her might towards the glowing, pulsing green ball of ki!*

Ralph: Talon’s about to get a face full here in a second!

*Talon tries one final desperate attempt to elbow her way out of her predicament, but Leona NAILS her in the base of the skull with a headbutt, sending the Tag Team Champion face first into the Baltic Launcher! She’s blown across the ring, and into the ropes!*

Leona: e_e..

*Talon is thrown back toward the center of the ring, right into the waiting fists of Leona, who opens a can of WHOOP ASS on The Champion with a blur of standing strikes!*

Bob: This is not good for Talon! Leona’s about to take this match to the next level!

*Launched into the air after the vicious combination, X-23 is caught in midair by Leona, who impales the mutant with her dagger!*

Bob: LEONA DON’T DO THIS!

*Leona replaces the dagger with a stick of dynamite and KICKS X-23 to the ground seconds before the explosive detonates inside the open wound!*

Bob: GRAVITY STORM BY LEONA HEIDERN! THIS MATCH IS OVER! Get EMTs down here IMMEDIATELY! THIS SICK BITCH JUST KILLED TALON! >=|

*When the smoke clears, all that remains is the referee, cowering in the corner, Leona, and parts of X-23’s torso scattered across the ring! The fans who are faint at heart pull out their barf bags at the site of the gory detail inside the ring!*

Ref: >_< … R… Ring the b–

Talon: ughh…

Everyone: O_O

*Everyone’s eyes widen in shock as Talon actually GETS UP following the deadly finishing maneuver!*

Ralph: no.. fucking way.

*Looking down at her still open wound that is slowly but surely healing itself, Talon’s eyes shift from their emotionless, stoic state to a VERY pissed off one. Suddenly, the sound of her claws unsheathing from her arms and feet can be heard across the Arena!*

Leona: o_o
Talon: …Ok.

Ralph: LEONA RUUUU–

*Talon sprints across the ring that there’s a BLUR behind her! Leona doesn’t stand a chance as she’s RIPPED to shreds from the animalistic rage that is X-23! Launched in the air from a claw filled uppercut, Leona falls right into a back flipping, six clawed ball of hatred that juggles her in the air for several second! Blood splatters from the ring and into the first row of the audience like some sick version of a Gallagher comedy show!*

Bob: OH MY GOD!!
Ralph: D: She’s going to need a lot of stitches… and a gallon of iodine after that.

*Leona collides on the top rope, which flips over her, causing her to land head first on the apron before her body FINALLY comes to a rest on the concrete below in a crumpled mess! She lies motionless, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see she’s FINISHED after the amazing, six clawed finishing combination at the hands of Talon! The referee wastes no time signaling for the bell!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And that’s it!! It’s over! AMAZING! NEW STRONG WOMEN’S CHAMPION! We have found Kunoi Ishigami’s first challenge to the UCTF Grand Championship! Talon will face Kunoi for her first shot at Platinum at a later date!
Ralph: Wow, she’d be the first Female Grand Champion in what… eight years????

Winner, #1 Contender to the UCTF Grand Championship and UCTF STRONG WOMAN: Talon

*Talon slowly slides out of the ring leaving a trail of blood along the way as her mutant ability rapidly stitches up gory open wound left from Leona’s Gravity Storm. Leona, meanwhile is being carted away by EMTs. I bet when she woke up this morning, she didn’t think she’d be shredded like cheap store brand cheese!*

Ralph: Wow, it would have been awesome to have had her healing factor while I was rehabbing from that unwarranted ass beating I received at the hands of Kunoi a few years ago. >=\

*Somewhere across Anime City…*

Kunoi: Unwarranted? >=|……

*Back in the arena, Soil’s “Halo” begins playing which dramatically changes the mood of the event! The former and only three time Intergalactic Champion in the history of the UCTF slowly saunters down to the ring. Tonight he’ll have to face the man who took his Intergalactic Championship in the finals of the Tournament.. And this time, the stakes are much higher, as a shot at the UCTF Grand Championship Title is on the line!*

Bob: Enter Raven Darc… The man who destroyed Ben Tennyson in the opening Contest and then made short work of Lo-Ruhamah in the semi finals.. He’s only one more win away from claiming a shot at Kunoi Ishigami, but to do so… He is going to have to go through.. THIS man!

*”Hanyou Inuyasha” kicks up, and The half breed almost instantly appears on the giant stage! He storms down to the ring with purpose! Several more referees sprint past Inuyasha to keep him separated from Raven Darc…*

Ralph: oh crap he’s pissed o_o
Bob: He’s had to wait all night and go through two tiring matches just to get a chance to face Raven! Of course he’s pissed!
Ralph: He better calm down though. Raven Darc’s had an easier time in this tournament, and he’s no jabroni that’s going to be easy to run over…

*The ring crew finally calm the half demon down, talking him into staying in his corner until the official bell sounds. Arzie, the ring announcer finds himself in the worst possible position again, standing in between both sickeningly powerful individuals in the squared circle…*

Arzie: L-L-Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is the Finals of the UCTF Only The Strong Tournament and is scheduled for one fall! The winner will become this year’s Strong Man Champion and will become the number one contender to the UCTF Grand Championship!

Crowd: *POP!*

Arzie: Introducing first… hailing from Feudal Japan.. He stands at 175centimeters and weighs in at 70 kilograms… He is the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting’s Weaponmaster AND Intergalactic Champion… He is the DOG DEMON… INNNNUUUUYASHAAAAA!!!

Crowd: *BIGGER POP!*

Arzie: And his opponent… hailing from Hayborn Scotland… he stands at six feet, four inches, and weighs in tonight at 265lbs… He is the former three time Intergalactic Champion… RAAAAVVVEEENNNN DAAARRRCCCCC!!!

*Raven raises his right arm in the air at the mention of his name.*

Bob: This certainly has a big fight feel! Senior Glen Sanchos will be officiating…
Ralph: He better stay out of their way…
Bob: Indeed. These men have been at each other’s throats since Summer Chaos 2007! Can they finally settle their difference inside that ring tonight?!

Glen: Alright Gentlemen, at the sound of the bell, I’m getting out of your way to let you guys do your thing. I’ll only be there for the pinfall, submission or knockout. Good luck to you both.

Crowd: *MASSIVE POP!*

Only The Strong
FINALS
Raven Darc vs. Inuyasha

*The random officials clear the ring as well as Arzie. Glen Sanchos backs away into the corner leaving only two men, The Half Demon Inuyasha, and the Half Demon Raven Darc. Fans around the world are glued to the television set to witness the culmination of two years explode inside the squared circle…*

Kunoi: e_e…

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: AND THE MATCH IS ON!

*Predictably, Inuyasha leaps into attack before the match bell even finishes resonating through the arena!*

Inuyasha: IRON REAVER SOUL ST–MMMPHHH!!

*Predictably to everyone around the world, ESPECIALLY Raven Darc, who counters the Soul-Shattering Iron Fist with a giant haymaker to the teeth!*

Raven: SHUTUP! >=|

*The brutal blow manages to stagger Inuyasha a half a step, but it doesn’t stop the Hanyou’s onslaught! The IG Champion fires back with an equally powerful punch to the face, but it is then matched with an even MORE powerful strike to the chin from Raven Darc! Inuyasha slides backwards a half an inch, driving his clawed hand directly into Raven’s chest!*

Raven: ARRGHHH!!

*Raven drives his head forward, giving Inuyasha an Irish kiss right on the bridge of his nose! Inuyasha takes a half step back, and gets popped in the face with a standing side kick from the pro-wrestler! Inuyasha is knocked back a half a step, before he’s hit with an uppercut that sends him half way across the ring!*

Bob: Inuyasha send packing, but still on his feet!

*Darc instantly transforms into his full, one-winged demon form, shooting dozens of demonic chains across the ring… They latch onto the dog demon a half second before flooding thousands of volts of demonic electricity through them!*

Inuyasha: ARRGHH!!

*Inuyasha fights through the pain, grabbing the chains and YANKING as hard as he can! Raven is pulled in with great velocity as a result, sending the 6’4 Demon into a BRUTAL front kick to the chin! The “Million Chains” retract into Raven’s hands, as the hurt half demon leans back from the murderous kick in the face. But, Inuyasha ain’t done, yet! Locking his arms around Raven’s waist, the Hanyou lifts Raven into the air like an infant before falling backwards, driving Darc face first into the top turnbuckle! The former champion’s body snaps back from the impact violently as it sends him tumbling across the ring… Inuyasha quickly pulls him back to his feet by the back of the head before taking a running charge towards the opposite side of the ring.*

Bob: This doesn’t look good for Raven Darc!

*Taking a page from the book of their last contest, Inuyasha prepares to chuck Raven Darc across the ring like a torpedo into the steel pole in the corner of the ring! Right at the point of impact, however, Raven catches the ropes, blocking the attempt!*

Bob: NOT this time, Inuyasha!

*Raven throws all of his weight behind a MASSIVE Elbow, catching the Hanyou right on his nose! Inuyasha breaks the hold, and falls prey to a NASTY jumping roundhouse that connects right to the face! The powerful kick FINALLY takes Inuyasha off of his feet in impressive fashion, sending the Intergalactic Champion spread eagled across the center of the ring!*

Ralph: CHRIST!
Bob: Raven with a disgusting kick there!

Raven: >=| You wanted this match Inuyasha! YOU BEGGED FOR IT! NOW YOU’VE GOT IT!

*As Inuyasha rolls to his hands and knees, Raven hits a running SOCCER KICK to the ribs that knock Inuyasha airborne! His body, upside-down from the kick collides with the ropes! They shoot him back into the center of the ring and into the waiting arms of Raven, who’s already mid-flight. Raven catches the prone dog demon out of the sky, twisting his body around into the Downward Spyral!*

Crowd: *CRINGE!*

Bob: Raven with his patented Spinning Piledriver!
Ralph: He’s not playing this time..

Raven: You wanted this match, Dog Demon!! I was kidnapped for a month last time we fought! YOU HEAR ME?!!?

*Leaping twenty feet in the air, Raven comes crashing down with a knee across the back of Inuyasha’s neck!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOHHHH!!!

Bob: BRUTAL knee to Inuyasha from Raven! That could have paralyzed the Intergalactic Champion!

*Raven raises his arms in the air to a mixed reaction from the fans. No one has EVER been able to put Inuyasha down like this in his short UCTF career, and Raven Darc wants everyone in the arena to know that he is DOMINATING The UCTF Intergalactic and Weaponmaster Champion right now!*

Ralph: Yeah, he may be ahead on points right now, but I don’t think turning his back on Inuyasha is a good idea..
Bob: No, he isn’t!

*The Hanyou grabs a hand full mat, slowly pulling himself back to his feet. The full demon witnesses this, and grabs Inuyasha by his white long locks.*

Raven: Don’t know when to quit, do you?!

*Pulling him up by the hair, Raven quickly cinches him into a Vertical Suplex hold. He lifts Inuyasha easily with one arm, before bringing the half breed down FACE FIRST on his knee! Physics knocks Inuyasha back to a standing base following the Face Crusher, and Raven kicks him in the breadbasket, before snapping the Hanyou over with a brutal spinning neckbreaker! Inuyasha attempts to roll to safety, but it’s not to be, as Raven drags his carcass all the way back to the center of the ring. Wrapping up Inuyasha’s arm, Raven is preparing to put the half-demon away with the Tera Demon Lock! Feeling his arms being pulled behind him, Inuyasha frantically starts to throw his body around to escape the submission before Raven can lock it on…*

Bob: If Raven gets this hold locked!!

*It doesn’t happen! Inuyasha KICKS Raven in the face while on the canvas, followed by another.. AND ANOTHER! A Fourth kick hits Raven with enough power to send the half demon flying all the way across the ring! It’s now or never for Inuyasha, who quickly rolls to his feet and unsheathes Tessaiga!*

Bob: TESSAIGA!!

*Raven’s eyes widen as Inuyasha lifts his blade over his head! With a half a second or less to spare, Raven CHARGES!*

Inuyasha: WIND SCAR!! >=|!!!

*Inuyasha unleashes the Kaze no Kizu at close range on Raven, who DIVES underneath the powerful demonic attack! It WORKS, Raven completely avoids the Wind Scar, and rolls to his feet right behind The Hanyou!*

Inuyasha: O_O OH SH–

*Raven tosses Inuyasha backwards with a HUGE German Suplex that drops the Champion right on his head! Tessaiga flies out of Inuyasha’s grip. It lands blade first into the turnbuckle across the ring!!*

Ralph: GERMAN!!
Bob: RIGHT ON THE HEAD!

*Half lucid, Inuyasha instinctively pops back to his feet, where Raven hits the patented ENDLESS WALTZ in the center of the ring! The second the finsiher connects, Raven floats over, immediately locking on the leg scissors hold and wraps up Inuyasha’s arms behind him into the Tera Demon Lock! And that’s not enough, Raven’s “Million Chains” shoot from the demon’s hands! The demonic chains wrap around every part of Inuyasha’s body, giving millions of yaoi fangirls a collective orgasm! Black lightning coarse through the chains, causing an UNBELIEVABLE amount of pain through Inuyasha’s body!*

Bob: ENDLESS WALTZ INTO THE TERA DEMON LOCK WITH THE MILLION CHAINS!! THAT’S GOTTA BE IT!! RAVEN’S GOING TO WIN THIS DAMN THING!

*Not quite, Bob! There is no limit to the resilience of Inuyasha, who manages to roll to his knees and slowly begin to stand up! He climbs to one foot…*

Ralph: are you kidding me?!
Bob: Just like their On Your Computer meeting, Inuyasha is managing to stand back up from this brutal submission hold! But can he break it again even after the Endless Waltz and Million Chains techniques?!

*Another blast of black lightning puts Inuyasha down to both knees once more.. The Dog Demon howls in pain and again, stands up to one foot!*

Raven: STAY DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH!

!!KRAKATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

Inuyasha: ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGHGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*Raven throws his body weight backwards, taking Inuyasha off his knees and to his back! Unfortunately for Raven, Inuyasha simply uses that momentum to roll fully to his feet!*

Bob: HE’S BACK UP!!

Crowd: *POPS!*

*Before Raven can do anything to stop it, Inuyasha dashes backwards as fast as his superhuman body will allow him to move! He drives the wound where Raven’s right wing used to be DIRECTLY into the blade of Tessaiga which was stuck in the corner!*

Raven: ARRRRRRRRARRGHHHHHHHHH!!!

*The shock of the pain brings Raven to the brink of unconsciousness! For a brief moment, his Full demon mode flashes in and out, allowing Inuyasha to break free and recover Tessaiga! The crowd pops HUGE as The Hanyou leaps across the ring to safety…*

Bob: Inuyasha breaks free! Raven is down!
Ralph: This doesn’t look good for Raven! I think he has a Kaze no Kizu in his immediate future!

*Inuyasha, grabbing the hilt of his blade tightly and gritting his teeth, yells out to Raven Darc.*

Inuyasha: BRING IT OUT.
Raven: …
Inuyasha: C’mon you bastard! LET’S SEE IT! BRING IT OUT RIGHT NOW!
Raven: grrr…

*Raven slowly stands fully back to his feet… his growl grows to a roar as black electricity begins to manifest around him.. The lights in the arena begin to flicker as a loud rumble begins to shake the city to it’s core!*

Raven: ARRRGGHHHHH!!!

!!KAAAAAAAAATHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*The Smoke Clears. Bloodied and tattered, Raven stands before Inuyasha with the Silver Talon in hand.*

Raven: …
Inuyasha: …

Ralph: Uh oh…
Bob: Yeah. I’d say the match is just about getting ready to start.

*The half demons leap several dozen feet into the air simultaneously… Their respective fighting auras meet before their phsycial bodies, creating a crackling blur of energy throughout the arena!*

Bob: HERE WE GO!!!

*The Warriors’ blades collide in mid-air, showering the crowd below with an ungodly amount of chi energy! Neither men gain the upper hand as each swipe and slash of their respective blades are parried, blocked, and countered with strikes of their own. They battle tirelessly as gravity pulls both of their bodies back down towards the canvas! With only a few seconds of impact left, neither men relent!*

Ralph: I have a feeling we’re about to see someone’s body break in half!

*Mere feet before impact, Raven drives his foot into Inuyasha’s chest, sending the half demon reeling as he backflips to safety. Raven lands first. He drives the Silver Talon into the mat, causing an eruption of pure energy to shoot RIGHT into the back of Inuyasha! The Intergalactic Champion is juggled back into the cheap seats from the ki attack, just as Raven leaps in from behind. The hilt of the Silver Talon wraps itself around Inuyasha’s torso, sending more black lightning into his body!*

Inuyasha: ARRGGGHHHH!!

*Falling back to the canvas with Raven, Inuyasha drives the sheath of Tessaiga into Raven’s Adam’s Apple! The hilt recedes, giving Inuyasha the moment to turn his body. Raven and Inuyasha lock eyes, seeing this as their biggest moment to deliver their finishing strikes…*

Inuyasha: KAZE NOOOO—
Raven: ARRGGHHHH!!

*The Kaze No Kizu and Raven’s Lightning Slash meet a SECOND before impact on the canvas! An explosion of ki fills the ring and sends debris flying through the crowd as fans run to find shelter!*

!!KAAAAAATHHHHHHHHOOOOOMMM!!

Bob: MY GOD!!
Ralph: w..what happened? Who got hit?!

*When the smoke clears, BOTH men are still standing… and both look very much worse for wear! Gasping for air, Inuyasha slowly lifts his blade back into the air… Tessaiga begins to glow with energy as Adamant begins to cover the blade.*

Bob: OH NO.. OH NO!! Inuyasha’s going for broke here!
Ralph: This was the move that started this entire blood feud!

*Raven knows what’s about to come next.. He’s had nightmares about this move for two years now. He’s NOT going to let it happen again!*

Raven: …..
Inuyasha: ADAMANT… BARRAAAAAAGGGGEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Tessaiga fires the MASSIVE shards of Adamant towards Raven Darc, who drives the Silver Talon into the remains of the ring.*

Raven: RRRRRRRRAAARRRGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*A wave of silver energy surrounds Raven, not only blocking the shards of Diamond, but DESTROYING it on contact! The column of surrounding ki extends what seems to be limitlessly! It shoots past the Arena with ease and disappears into the heavens! More and more energy pour into Raven as the demon unleashes a SADISTIC smile on his face! Inuyasha shows, for the very first time in his career.. FEAR. PARALYZING FEAR!*

Inuyasha: …
Raven: …SILVVVVVVVER WAAAAAAAAAAAVVEEEEE!!

*The column is suddenly redirected towards Inuyasha and any poor son of a bitch who’s behind him! Inuyasha attempts to leap out of the way, but it’s useless! He’s engulfed by Raven Darc’s ultimate attack and sent FLYING into the cheap seats!*

Crowd: O____O!!

Bob and Ralph: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!

*Inuyasha hits the balcony of the Arena, INSTANTLY destroying it and creating a crater with his own body! Raven falls to his knees… The Talon is long gone, as well as his full demon mode. He lies there, gasping for breath. Glen Sanchos reappears out of no where, trying to figure out what’s going on.*

Glen: R..R… Raven.. You alright?

*Raven slowly stands back to his feet…*

Raven: e_e… g…g..give me my Strong Man Trophy.

Crowd: *POPS* X_X

Bob: Raven HAS DEFEATED INUYASHA AT ULTIMATE MASSACRE!
Ralph: x_x Jesus.

Referee: RING THE BE–

!!THOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!

Everyone: ……

Raven: …………

Ref: …………

Bob: NO-
Ralph: FUCKING WAY!! SERIOUSLY! NO FUCKING WAY!

*Inuyasha shoves a bolder that used to be part of the Arena off of him, several feet above in the cheap seats, The Dog Demon IS STILL CONSCIOUS!*

Raven: R…R…REF!! O_O RING THE BELL MAN. THAT’S HAD TO BE LONGER THAN TEN SECONDS SINCE HE’S BEEN OUT OF THE RING!

*Glen looks around..*

Glen: uhh.. Raven.. o_o Do you see a ring anywhere?

*THERE IS NONE. Both the ref and Raven are in the middle of a fucking Crater!*

Raven: ARRRGGGGGHHH!!

*Raven goes BERSERK! What the FUCK is it going to take to defeat this son of a bitch from Feudal Japan?! Using his reserves, He re-transforms back into his full demon form. He manifests the Steel Talon, as he’s too weak to re-manifest the Silver. With a GIANT leap, he bounds from the crater that used to be the ring to the crater that used to be the cheap seats! He lands RIGHT on Inuyasha! Driving his Steel Talon towards the Hanyou for the killing strike, Raven’s blow is blocked by Tessaiga, that’s in it’s pure, regular sword form!*

Raven: GIVE IT UP! YOU’VE LOST YOU BASTARD! YOU’VE LOST!
Inuyasha: arrghhh..ARRRRAGGGHH!!

*Tessaiga flares up! Inuyasha tries to push Raven off but he’s driven back into the crater HARD!*

Raven: RRRARRRGGHHH!! NO MORE TRICKS! NO MORE SPECIAL TECHNIQUES! YOU’RE DONE.
Inuyasha: n..n..NEVER!!

*The Tessaiga begins to glow a green hue, as scales of a Dragon slowly begin to cover the blade until it’s completely Engulfed!*

Bob: W..what’s going on?!

*Raven’s dark energy begins to POUR from his body, and into the blade of Tessaiga itself!*

Raven: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
Inuyasha: h..heh… D-Dragon Scaled Tessaiga… I’m taking your own Demonic Energy…. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

*Tessaiga sucks Raven’s demonic energy right out of him to the point that Raven REVERTS out of his Full demon form!*

Raven: ARRRGGHGHHHH I’m going to .. Find out the secret to that damn blade!
Inuyasha: NOT TONIGHT!!

*Inuyasha drives his foot into Raven’s chest before pushing him off into the distance!*

Ralph: YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

Inuyasha: KAZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEE NOOOOO KIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUU

*The Dragon Scale powered Wind Scar catches Raven in mid-air, COMPLETELY obliterating him in the process!*

!!!KAAAAAAAAAAATHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!

Bob: DUCK!!
Ralph: OH FU–

*Raven flies past the Commentators tower before crashing THROUGH the jumbotron!*

Ralph: >=| FUCK THIS! SECOND TIME TONIGHT! I’M OUTTA HERE. SCREW THIS!
Bob: but–
Ralph: I’M OUT.

*Inuyasha, meanwhile falls from the nose bleed section, slowly returning to the area where the ring used to be.. He vomits, before falling to one knee.*

Glen: ………RING THE BELL!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And it’s over. This epic contest is FINALLY over, and we have our Strong Man Winner!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, Winner and New Strong Man Champion.. INNNUUUYAAAASSSHHHHAAAA!

Bob: AMAZING, NEW UCTF STRONG MAN CHAMPION! He suffered an Ungodly amount of punishment from Raven Darc, who’ve I’ve never seen more intense.. More powerful in his entire UCTF Career! It came down to the wire and you have to wonder if this feud is over between the two men!

Winner, #1 Contender to the UCTF Grand Championship and UCTF STRONG MAN: Inuyasha

*EMTs rush out to Inuyasha’s aid, while more are in the back attempting to pull Raven from the wreckage of the Jumbotron.*

Bob: ladies and gentlemen, tonight we found the #1 contenders for Kunoi Ishigami’s title. Who will get the first shot at the Platinum? We’ll find out on the next episode of Saturday Massacre! For Ralph Gerrard who’s no doubt somewhere in the back crying like a bitch, I’m Bob Hinden saying goodnight!

End.

 

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