Xiahau the Blue Staff Vs. Ukyo | Love & Justice Vs. Golden Pair | Akira Vs. Guyver | Naga Vs. Happosai | Prez & VP Vs. Prez & VP | FireAnIce Vs. New Wave Dave & Shayla Shayla

For Love And Justice v. Golden Pair

BoB- A real treat tonight, folks — the tag team For Love and Justice make their debutagainst The Golden Pair.
Ralph- Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon have already entered and Sailor Moon is in thering.

BoB- And now Azusa and Makato approach the ring to some polite applause.

Ralph- It looks like Makato will be in the ring first for the Golden Pair. The competitorsall look prepared for their match this evening.


BoB- This morning, I found a new friend underneath my pillow.

Ralph- What? BoB?

BoB- What what?

Ralph- What’s that blue thing doing here?

BoB- Exactly.

Ralph- And Makato and Sailor Moon, after sizing each other up and down and in diagonalwaves of fury, approach warily the center of the ring.

BoB- Makato strikes first, lashing at Sailor Moon with a quick jab. Moon dodges andcounterattacks with a miss of her own.

Ralph- Makato and Moon engage in a quick fury of blows. They’re quick, BoB! I canhardly tell what’s happening. When they part, Makato is limping, but Sailor Moon has abruise under her eye.

Sailor Moon- Aren’t you the guy who hit me in the eye?

BoB- Sailor Moon seems angry. She trips Makato, who falters and falls back towards theropes, where he is tagged by Asuza. Asuza enters with an alterimuntian blaze of revolvingmadness, compiled with an undue frenzy born of green bologna. Moon, meanwhile,maneuvers back to her corner, where Tuxedo Mask hops over the ropes into the ring.Edibly nonsensical, my friend iguana. And Asuza seems intrigued by something.

Asuza- My darling Esmerelda!

Ralph- Asuza leaps foreword and snatches the hat from atop Tuxedo Mask’s head!

BoB- And you know what that means, Ralph.

Ralph- Indeed, indeed. Cheese for all midget parakeets.

BoB- Vroom! Vroom!

Ralph- And so dost our liege, Lord Squidon of Moscow, falter in the face of surpriseopposition!

BoB- Shame, oh, shame! Death find us in a squirrel’s nest!

Ralph- BoB! Call for backup! Call the paramedics! Save the elder dog.

BoB- Dog, as a devil defied, lived as a god.

Ralph- Asuza seems infatuated with Esmerelda… uh…

BoB- Tuxedo Mask smacks the unsuspecting Asuza in the side of the head, and she falls tothe floor, cold.

Ralph- Tuxedo picks up his hat and exits, tapping Sailor Moon as Makato enters the ring atthe other side.

BoB- What’s wrong with Makato?

Ralph- I think Sailor Moon got back at him for hitting her in the eye.

BoB- Leech tails and free salt are nothing for an excellent peon like Oato.

Ralph- He goddam mad dog, eh?

BoB- Dammit, I’M Mad!

Ralph – BoB, don’t say $*&%@ on the air.

BoB- $*&%@ you, Ralph, I didn’t.

Ralph- Yes, you just did.

BoB- Oh, just go and $&*%@ a *$&er.

Ralph- Not until the end of this fight, BoB.

BoB- I met system I.

Ralph- No, I met system Ion.

BoB- With that in mind, Sailor Moon delivers a devastating blow to Makato’s side! AndMakato is down!

Ralph- This is trouble for the remaining member of the Golden Pair.

BoB- That’s right! Makato is out cold.


BoB- Makato isn’t moving.

BoB- Makato isn’t moving.


BoB- Makato isn’t moving.


Ralph- For Love and Justice have won their debut match. And Tuxedo Mask and SailorMoon exit the arena to cheers from the crowd and one obnoxious guy screaming about theGreenhouse Effect in New Zealand.

BoB- Let’s move onto our next fight, Ralph.

Winners: For Love and Justice

Akira v. Guyver

BoB- Next up is a battle between the Guyver and Akira. What’s your prediction here, Ralph?
Ralph- Well, BoB, I have to go with a victory for Guyver. Akira is rusty in the ring, while Guyver is determined to defeat Devilman, and vanquish everyone who stands in his way.

BoB- That’s right Ralph. Devilman won’t accept Guyver’s challenge until Guyver has won three consecutive matches. Isn’t this a bit haughty on the part of Devilman?

Ralph- Devilman is a title holder and has fought Guyver before, BoB. I think he’s earned the right to be a bit arrogant.

BoB- That may be true. In any case, Guyver has entered and is making his way to the ring. The crowd seems to be behind him tonight!

Ralph- Meanwhile, we can hear a loud rumble arriving at the other end of the arena, along with Akira and his motorcycle. Why does Akira have to drive that thing in here?

BoB- The mad prophet Fisgandor only knows, Ralph. Now Akira has dismounted and entered the ring with Guyver. They look psyched. And the bell man is awake to ring the–


Ralph- Akira lunges at Guyver! Guyver spins to the side and delivers a sweeping kick to Akira! Akira recovers quickly but is forced to the defensive as Guyver extends his vibro-blades.

BoB- Guyver certainly likes his vibro-blades. Akira ducks a slash from Guyver and dodges a vertical swipe.

Coffee Man- Get your de-calf heeah!! No calves used in de makin’!!

Ralph- Look at that, BoB. They’ve got a coffee man to go along with the beer man now.

BoB- Thanks for mentioning it, Ralph. Look at the ring.

Ralph- Oh… uh… Guyver’s on the ground. How did that happen?

BoB- Blinded by the coffee man…

Ralph- Guyver was blinded by the coffee man and is on the floor of the ring…

BoB- Dammit, Ralph!

Ralph- Um… sorry. I, uh… Guyver is back up again.

BoB- And Guyver is on the offensive! He catches Akira with a vibro-blade just below the knee, and has drawn blood! Akira balances on his good leg.

Charleston- D’mit, Lenny. See dem ungrat’ul blookes? Git meh dee mop, Lenny.

The goat stares at him.

Charleston- Git meh dee mop, Lenny! D’mit Lenny! Oh, ah’ight. Ah git dee mop….

Ralph- Akira dodged a strike from Guyver, but only fell into a tough kick!

BoB- And Akira is down!

5… 6… 7…

Ralph- Guyver is looking pleased. And Akira is showing signs of movement.

8… 9…

BoB- And Akira is up! He must have been saving his strength.

Ralph- I’m not surprised, if he’s too lazy to walk through the damn arena without his motorcycle.

BoB- That was a quality objective remark there, Ralph…

Ralph- Thanks.

BoB- You little #*@%.

Ralph- Thanks. Well, Akira is putting up a fight, but the wound at his leg is really wearing him down, I think.

BoB- An unfortunate wound for Akira. Akira is evading Guyver’s blows, but with a sluggishness that increases by the minute.

Ralph- — Guyver connects with a nasty metal-plated elbow bash to the skull! Akira is out cold!

BoB- He’s lucky he won’t be able to feel that pain for a while…

Ralph- And Akira isn’t getting back up this time! The ref finishes the second count…


BoB- And that’s that! Guyver’s determination prevails!

Ralph- Excellent fight, BoB.

BoB- Then why were you watching the coffee guy?

Ralph- Uh, well, he got coffee an’ stuff… er, so… once again, Guyver defeats Akira.

Winner: Guyver

Naga v. Happosai

Ralph- Here’s a fight we’ve been anticipating. Naga v. Happosai.
BoB- the black bitches definatly seem to like to beat the crap out of this leech.

Ralph- that’s right bob…9 out of ten blackbitches agree.. happosai shuld get the crap kicke doutta him.

BoB- and here he comes now.. through the crowd flipping up skirts and grabbing breasts

Ralph- lucky

Bob- and here comes Naga

Naga- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you little pervert.. you think you can defeat me.. the white serpent?

bOB- what’s a white serpant doing in the balck bitches?

Ralph- i don’t know

BoB- here’s the bell

DINGRalph- happosai attacks naga with a.. i can’t tell what movve is that?

BOB- teh grab the really boumncy breast move

Ralph RIGHT!!! and how bouncy they are…

BoB- so bouncy he falls off.. naga then casts a flare arrow spell.. but happosai pulls somethingout of his bag.. it’s a LAPTOP?!

Happosai- hehe het naga.. check this out

Naga- huh?

Ralph- it’s.. and internet site with nude naga pictures poste dup all over it…

Naga- you pervert… HAHAHAHAHAHAH you think you can intimadte me with that? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Happosai: no please stop..


Ralph- (putting in earplugs) an interesting defence

BoB- where the hell are my earplugs? hey.. stop

Naga- hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Haposai: please stop

Voice- stop

naga- you!?

Happosai: YOU!!

Voice (it’s lina) ME.. happosai after what you pulle don me last week i cannot forgive you.. so i can only do what is neccissary.. for JUSTICE

BOB_ is she possesed by amilia?

ralph- shhh

Lina- happosai.. prepare to die!

Happosai- it’s not like there wa sanything to see

Naga- yes she is quite flat chested

Lina- stop it you two… or else

Happosai: or else what?

Naga- yeah i am more powerful, more beautiful and far more—

Lina- SHUT UP!!!

Happosai: hey lady… naga and i are trying to have a fight here.

Lina- i don’t care i was wronged and therefore you will die.. prepare to face yor destiny…

Happosai: yeah right

Lina- what!?! turn and face me you coward

Naga- let em fight him you flat chested —

Lina- shut up… FIREBALL!!!!

BoB- lina just fried naga..

Ralph- that wan’t nice

Naga- i wish you didn’t do that..

Limna- ohh uhh sorry.. hehe.. haposai.. FIREBALL!!

BoB Lina just fried happosai

ralph- that wasn’t nice

Happosai- grrr.. lina… you’ve you’ve… (starts crying) you’ve hurt my feelings.. all i wanted ot do was have a litle fun .. we’ll fight next week..

BoB- so i guess uhh Naga won that one

Naga- Lina!!! you’ll pay for that

Lina- hehe ok

Winner: Naga

Prezvp v. prezvp

BoB_ Now the uctf prez and vop will face the uctf prez and vp

Ralph- you’re wierd

BOB- here comes president tarot and elex.. they don’tlook ready to fight.. in fact tarot has a briefcase with him. and a microphone

Tarot: allright listen up.. in this breifcase i have many papers.. but only oneis improtant..it’s a restraining order..


Tarot- let me speak!!! it’s an prder saying that the ugandan people can’t come within 100 yards of us.. so.. now tht the bell ha srung.. and 10 second ahve gone by we winn

Tobais: don’t ever cross us.. or we’ll kill you both

Tarot: hehe down boy…

Winner: PREZ AND VP TArot and tobias

Fire N’ Ice v. Shayla Shayla and NWD

BoB- Now everyone, here is a fight that most of us have been waiting for, it is NWD andShayla Shayla vs. Fire N’ Ice. As you all probably know Fire N’ Ice are currently the onlytag team who has fought more than one fight, that is undefeated. But I think the bus mightstop here. Because Shayla Shayla also is the only undefeated single fighter in the UCTF. even though she’s not single…
Ralph- So do I Bob. Fire N’ Ice are great fighters, but it will take quite a bit of strengthand determination to beat a duo like NWD, and Shayla Shayla. I am not saying that it isimpossible, but it is unlikely.

BoB- You’re right Ralph. There also is a little bit of friction I think, between Fireball andShayla. As you remember Shayla was upset about the devastating Burning Winter attack.

Ralph- Yeah, didn’t she say that it made fire cry?

BoB- I think so Ralph, what the hell that means I don’t know, because I can’t see how firecrys but I’ll take her word for it.

Ralph- Ditto. I wouldn’t want to mess with the undefeated Intergalactic Champion. Butyou must weigh too, that Fire N’ Ice work as a team which I think helps to increase theirstrength, and effectiveness.

BoB- And speak of the devil, it is time to begin, and here comes the phenom tag team FireN’ Ice!!!!!

(Crowd begins to cheer)

Ralph- Fireball has just entered the ring, and now here comes NWD and Shayla!

(Crowd begins to cheer again)

BoB- Shayla now enters the ring, and is looking over at Fireball who seems to be payingno attention to her. Man, Fireball and Ice man seem to be looking bigger than usual. Don’tyou think?

Ralph- You’re right, they must have hit the gym pretty hard with all of that nervous energy.

BoB- Hehe, possibly Ralph. And we are now just moments away from the first openingbell, where Fireball, and Shayla Shayla will finally face off.


BoB- And there’s the bell! Shayla lunges towards Fireball and hurls a blast of flames athim! Fireball dodges and counters with a fire ball of his own! Shayla leaps out of the waybut is grazed by the burning flames! Fireball jumps up, bounces off of the second rope andcomes down on the head of Shayla! Shayla Falls to the canvas but is picked back up byFireball and thrown across the ring! Shayla rises and begins to form a ball of fire in herhands but a flying kick from Fireball sends her down! Fireball picks up Shayla once againbut Shayla grabs the head of Fireball and hits him with a head butt! Fireball staggers backa bit but regains his senses.

Ralph- And Shayla is now the aggressor! She comes towards Fireball, and throws a kickto the mid-section of her larger opponent! Fireball covering up is now blocking the kicksthat are being thrown by Shayla!

BoB- Shayla forcing Fireball into the corner continues to try and keep him away with herpowerful kicks! But Fireball catches the foot of Shayla and throws her back! Shayla falls,but gets right back up only to meet a large ball of flames thrown by Fireball! And Shayla issent across the ring and is down!

Ralph- Shayla starts to try and get up but is knocked back down by a punch to the back ofthe head by Fireball! And Dave tags Shayla and enters the ring! NWD leaps at Fireballand tackles him around the mid section! NWD and Fireball are now on the ground andDave works his way on top of Fireball and begins to punch him in the face! Fireballmanages to work his way free, but not until being beaten pretty bad!

BoB- Fireball is disorientated and unable to walk straight, but forms a ball of fire in eachhand and hurls them in the general direction of NWD! Dave tries to leap over the heatseeking fireballs but is struck on the legs, and goes down!

Ralph- But what is this!?!? Dave has gotten back up! He is cut and burned by the twofireballs but is now standing!! How can he take such torment to his legs and still standup!?!

BoB- I don’t know Ralph! but Dave seeming to be in bad condition starts towards a veryhurt Fireball! Fireball throws a pathetic excuse for a punch which connects with the headof NWD. But Dave now grabs the head of Fireball with both hands!!

NWD- Final attack Whisper to a scream!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!


Ralph- And Dave has used his whisper to a scream technique turning the pain from theflames of Fireball’s heat seeking fire bursts against him, and he falls to his knees, but sendsFireball down and out of the ring!

BoB- Fireball falls out of the ring and is tagged by Ice man! But it appears as thoughShayla is now getting up slowly too! Ice man leaps onto the top of the turnbuckle, forms ahuge brick of ice in his hands and comes down nailing NWD on the head, shattering the icebrick!

Ralph- Dave goes down, but out of nowhere comes a fireball from Shayla!

BoB- And the fireball connects with the chest of Ice man and he is sent back into theturnbuckle! Ice man sends a flowing stream of ice from his hands directly at the body ofShayla Shayla pinning he against the turn buckle! This could be trouble for Shayla!

Ralph- I really can’t say at this point, I still can’t believe that Ice man withstood thefireball from Shayla.

BoB- I think that Ice man, due to his extremely low body temperature has a resistance to acertain degree of heat, but you are right. I think that he is lucky to still be standing after thatblast of the opposite element.

Ralph- NWD has gotten up!!! And he grabs Ice man around the waist and brings him downto the canvas, stopping his flow of ice towards Shayla Shayla!

BoB- And NWD holding Ice man on the ground starts to pummel him just as he didFireball! But this time Ice man is hitting back! Ice man continuously connecting with aright hook to the side of the head of NWD! But Dave is badly beating the center of Iceman’s face! Ice man hits Dave flush in the temple and dazes him long enough to get himselffree from the grip of Dave’s other arm!

Ralph- Ice man staggers to the center of the ring hoping that this will be it for NWD!

BoB- But look! NWD is getting up! He is leaning on the ropes and probably seeing threeof four Ice mans, but is still getting up! A tremendous show of endurance by NWD!

Ralph- And Ice man shakes his head!!! He can’t believe what he is seeing! Ice man raiseshis hands in what looks to be a kick boxing stance and slowly approaches NWD!

BoB- And NWD is very wobbly but also starts walking towards Ice man!

Ralph- This is insane! It should just be called a draw, these two fighters can’t take muchmore of this!

BoB- And Ice man pumps a jab into the face if NWD, and another, and another!!! NWDmay be out of steam here Ralph.

Ralph- Maybe, but he is still standing there.

BoB- That’s right, and now Ice man hits Dave in the knee with a sharp kick! Davestaggers a bit, but somewhat is able to regain his balance. NWD approaches Ice man andfalls over grabbing the legs of Ice man tripping him!!! And once again Ice man is on theground with NWD!

Ralph- Dave seems to be fighting less of a finesse fight and more of a street brawl if youask me.Ralph- But look at this! Ice man using both hands and repeatedly striking Dave on theback of the head and neck! Dave falls off and Ice man once again gets up!

BoB- Ice man out of breath walks over and leans of the ropes…. But Dave is getting backup! Why is he doing this!!! There is no reason to continue fighting, he’s too hurt!

Dave- I know people may think that there is no reason for me to continue fighting because Iam too hurt. But I can’t let Shayla loseeeeee!!!!!!!

BoB- And with a sporadic burst of energy NWD leaps at Ice man, but is met in the air by asoftball size ball of Ice!

Ralph- Dave is bleeding, and probably has internal injuries but still gets up!!!!!!

Dave- You wi.. will… never beat me…

Ice man- You get an A for effort, but… the fight is mine…. tonight….

BoB- Dave ignoring the words of Ice man comes once again at him. Ice man with his righthand cocked leading with his left also approaches NWD. Ice man hits Dave once again inthe knee with a kick. And unloads that big right!!!! And NWD is sent back!

(Shayla Shayla who has been passed out on the canvas raises her head up for the first timesince she has been knocked out)

Shayla- Dave….. stop this…. he is too strong….

Dave- But I can’t let you lose on the count of me…..

Shayla- It’s not….. your fault…. Just stop….

Dave- I’m sorry Shayla… I can’t….

Ralph- And Dave getting up again but is kicked in the side of the ribs and sent back down!

Ice man- (to himself) This can’t go on….

BoB- Ice man goes up to Dave and has picked him up! Ice man throws Dave out of thering and shoots a layer of Ice around the edge of the ring where Dave is. He tries tore-enter the ring but can’t! Shayla is not getting up either!

Reff- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

BoB- And it’s over!! Fire N’ Ice have defeated Shayal Shayla and NWD, and Fire N’ Iceremain undefeated!!!!

Ralph- But just barely, NWD put up a hell of a fight!!!

BoB- That’s right Ralph, I think that, that was the most grueling fight I have ever seen. Inthe UCTF, and anywhere else. My hats off to all four fighters.

Ralph- Mine too. Fire N’ Ice are truly the real thing. They are the first and only fightersto ever beat Shayla, and tarnish her perfect record. But what a fight! Wait shayla’s getting up.

Shayla- ralph.. if it tarnishes my erfect record as a singles fighter than iceman anf firenuts records was tarnished a while back

Ralph- Ok so you’re still undefeated.

Shayla- thank you (she passes out)

BoB- And would you look at that. Ice man has left the ring and walked over to whereNWD is laying.

Ralph- I can’t believe this but, Ice man is actually helping NWD up. Good sportsmanshiphere by both fighters.

BoB- They appear to be saying something to each other but we can not make out just whathe is saying. I would like to find that out sometime though.

Ralph- Me too. But right now we have to get ready for the main event.

BoB- The what? Oh yeah. that.

Winner- Fire N’ Ice

Xiahau v/ Ukyo

BoB- And now for our min event! This will be the deciding fight for the WorldChampionship!
Ralph- That’s right, facing off tonight, we have Xiahau the Blue Staff vs. Ukyo Kounji. Bob, how do see this fight going?

BoB- Well, Ukyo is a great martial artist but I have to go with Xiahau. He is one toughson of a b*tch.

Ralph- That’s all well and good, but I am fairly certian that my U-Chan will easilyprevail.

BoB- Well Ralph, you can think what you want, but here comes Xiahau!

(Crowd explodes)

Ralph- Oh, Shut up!

BoB- Sit down Ralph. Now here comes Ukyo!

(More cheers, but not as many)

Ralph- YYYYYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BoB- Xiahau is armed with his staff tonight as he is about to take on Ukyo for the WorldChampionship Title. Both fighters are now in the ring and awaiting the first bell.


BoB- There’s the bell! Ukyo lunges with her spatula, and Xiahau with his staff! Xiahauknocks Ukyo back to the ropes and follows through with a strike to her head, but isblocked!

Ralph- Shut up!

BoB- And Ukyo moves away from Xiahau but is tripped by a strike to the legs! Ukyo goesto get up but is now struck down on the head! And she is out cold! It’s over, Xiahauoutclassing his opponent and now the new WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE!!!!

Ralph- F*ck off….

BoB- Not much of main event, but Xiahau is now our World Championship title holder. Good night everyone.


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