Jin Saotome Vs. Ryoga Hibiki | Saiyin-C Vs. Vampire Hunter D | Miz Mishtal Vs. Fujisawa | Touchstone Vs. Tatewaki Kuno | Seratia Vs. Nanami Jinnai | Ifurita Vs. Kasuhiku Jinnai | Naga Vs. Ryu | Spawn Vs. Guyver | Electric Cold Vs. Team Rocket | Burning Passions Vs. Gunsmith Cats | Mourl Vs. Ukyo

Jin Saotome v. Ryoga Hibiki

BoB- welcome to the first UCTF PPV I’m your host Bobby bob th ebobster and with me is th e big R man himself ralphy ralphola!!!
Ralph- what the bloody hell are you talking about?

BoB- I don’t know.. let’s start off otnight’s first match Jin Saotome v. Ryoga Hibiki.. WHAT THE!?

Ralph- it seems ryoga is HERE, that’s new

BoB- must be washu’s devise…

Ralph- must be.. here comes jin.. wait ryoga’s gonna say something

Ryoga- Saotome.. that name brings pain to my face…and my heart.. my dear akane hwo could i let you be with.. SAOTOME!!!. JIN YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR COUSIN’S DEEDS!!!

BoB- but they’re not related

Ralph- doesn’t metter.. he has started with an attack.. full force at JIn who merely dodges and yawns.

Ryoga- you won’t get away that easy, Saotome.. TAKE THIS AS A WARNING RANMA WHAT I DO TOU YOUR COUSIN TONIGHT I WILL SOO DO TO YOU!!!

Ralph- but they’re not related.

BoB- he charges at jin again.. boot to the head!!!

Ralph- Jin gets back up and looks at the confused wanderer.

Ryoga- what the heck are you looking at.. I REFUS ETO BE STARED AT BY ONE OF HIS COUSIN”S

JIn- but we’re not related.

BoB- and with that JIn kicks ryoga sqare in the gut followed by a series of punches and knee lifts…

Ryoga- he now has him by the neck and has picked him up

BoB- this looks like Giant’s finisher the choke slam.. is it gonna be over so soon.

Ralph- OH MY HOLY WOW!!! He just executed th esaotome crush as Ryoga went flying into the nose bleed section.

Ryoga- I will not be beat by a relative of ranma saotome.. JIN… cough cough… face me coward!!!

Everyone there- BUT THEY’RE NOT RELATED!!

Ryoga- oh.. ok (he blacks out)

BoB- go jin

Winner: Jin “not related to ranma” Saotome

Sayian-C v. Vampire HUnter D

Bob: Ahh… we have our next fight. Newcomer Corin (AKA Sayian-C) v. Vampire hunter D
Ralph: What do you think about this fight Bob?

Bob: Although Vampire Hunter D is comparitively weak to the newcomer, he has the edge in experience in this fight. As far as I am concerned, it’s anyone’s game.

Bob: Look! Here comes Saiyin_C! It looks like he’s getting a little support from the audience. I think it’s the tail.

Ralph: Isn’t he the first Saiyin to ever come to the UCTF?

Bob: No, there was another before him, a half-saiyin.

Ralph: Who? Gohan? Goten? Trunks?

Bob: No silly! It was Hystalin the Black Paladin.

Ralph: Her? Oh yeah! HEHEHE!!! I forget.

Bob: Okay, here comes Vampire Hunter D. He is not getting too much a warm welcome. I guess it is because of his previous losses.

Ralph: Perhaps. The two shake hands…

D’s Hand: How many times to I have to tell you not to shake with me?

D: Oops! Sorry.

Saiyin_C: You’re hand talks?

D: Yep. (holds up living hand.) He’s a part of me. We are one.

Saiyin_C: I see. Now… let the games begin.

D: Yes…

(DING!)

Bob: The fight begins! D breaks out his huge sword and swings at Saiyin_C. Saiyin_C isn’t moving.

Ralph: What? What is this?

Bob: It looks like Saiyin_C caught the sword in mid-strike! Wow! That is amazing!

Ralph: I’ve never seen anyone do this before.

Bob: Neither have I.

D: Whoa! You’re faster than I expected.

Saiyin_C: That is what you expect from a pure-blooded saiyin.

D: Perhaps, but I won’t go down without a fight!

Saiyin_C: I expected such, now you will be knocked out.

Ralph: What is Saiyin_C doing now?

Bob: It looks like he’s gathering energy… oh my! He just turned into a Super-Saiyin!

Ralph: I see! His hair went from dark brown to bright yellow! He looks really pissed off right now!

Bob: You can say that again!

Ralph: His hair went from dark…

Bob: Oh shut up!

Saiyin_C: This is where our fight ends!

Ralph: Saiyin_C rushes to Vampire Hunter D and… oh god! He’s beating the shit out of the vampeil!

Bob: Definately! This does not bode well for Vampire Hunter D. He’s really getting pummeled by Saiyin_C’s might!

Saiyin_C: GAME OVER!

Ralph: Saiyin_C gives Vampire Hunter D a sharp punch to the jaw and it sends Vampire Hunter D into orbit! He’s flying out of the ring and landed in the very back row. It’s over! Saiyin_C is the winner!

Bob: Good show for the saiyin! He did good! Now onto the next match.

Ralph: Good idea… on with the next fight.

Winner: Saiyin_C

Miz MIshtal v. Fujisawa

Bob: Okay, here is one of tonight’s fights, Miz Vs. Fujisawa. We have the water priestess going against our resident drunk.
Ralph: Do you think Fujisawa will be sober tonight?

Bob: With him, it’s a coin toss.

Ralph: True.

Bob: Look! Here comes Miz now, the water priestess has arrived.

Ralph: Do you see Fujisawa anywhere?

Bob: Let me see… yep! I see Fujisawa coming in the ring… with a bottle of sake in his hand.

Ralph: Why am I not surprised?

Fujisawa: Awwwoy. Nooowi gottufite the one called Miz. Owwell… lettas fite.

Miz: MY DARLING MOSUMICHI, you’re drunk again. How repulsive!

Ralph: Miz enters the ring. Fujisawa stumbles into the ring.

(DING!)

Bob: Fujisawa takes one step and… he slips and falls. Miz walks to the drunken Fujisawa.

Miz: You look flushed. (kisses cheek) Here, let me cool you off.

Ralph: Miz throws what looks like a tidal wave at Fujisawa. The wave pushes Fujisawa out of the ring.

Bob: I think he passed out.

Ralph: I think you’re right. It looks like Miz is the winner.

Miz- No future husband of mine is gonna drink and fight

Bob: Well… that’s one fight ended.

Ralph: It looks like it too. Now lets’ get on to our next fight…

Winner: Miz

Touchstone v. Tatewaki Kuno

BoB- now we have Touchstopne v. Kuno
Ralph- sigh.. how elizibethian

BoB- here comes touchstone with jaques (pronounced Jay-queeze)

And here comes Kuno.. with boken

Touchsonte- Kuno.. your visage make me like th edogs where as i shall smite thee into true and total submission

kuno- ahh thou are like the dogs you cur, your insolence shall be– HWAT DID YOU DO!!!

BoB- it looks like touchstone attacked kuno’s boken with his sword.. and cut it into several pieces

Kuno- CURSE YOU NOW MY BOKEN IS BROKEN!!

Ralph- it was only a matter of time.

Touchstone- go

kuno.. no i shall stay and avenge my dear boken

BoB- he launches a full force attack at touchstone who trips him. Jaques ties him up.

Ralpf- i think touchstone won that one

Winner- touchstone

Seratia v. Nanami Jinnai

Nanami- GET YOUR NANAMI SPECIAL BOXED LUNCHES RIGHT HERE!!!
BoB- i’ll take won..

ralph- hey aren’t you supposed to be down there?

Nanami- oh yeah.. i forgot. i’m not really ready to fight

BoB- just go..

nanami- ok(she goes) BoB- seratia enters the ring followed by Nanami.. seratia looks prepared.. nanami.. well looks like a vendor

Ralph- THAT IS ONE BIG SWORD

Nanami- that is one big sword lay.. you plannin on using it on me?

Seratia- uhh huh

Nanami- oh.. hehe ok.. uhh i’m not much of a fighter so.. uhh hw about.. HERE!!

Seratia- what’s this?

nanami- instead of fighting me with that huge sword i’ll offer you to be a part owner of nanami boxed lunches INC. 10 percent.. is it a deal?

Seratia- think it over k?

BoB- nanami leaves and is counted out while a somewhat confused seratia stands in the middle of the ring with an inhumanly large sword in one hand and a buisness contract in the other

Winner: Seratia

Ifurita v. Kasuhiku Jinnai

BoB- now we have the prez’s own ifurita v her old master kasuhiku
Ralph- actually h eprez’s idfurita is from the tv series while this one is from th OAV

BoB- picky

Ralph- they’re two entirly different people.. nevermiund.. here comes the two now

jinnai- Ifuirta! I command you to no fight me

Ifurita- I am no longer controled by you you puny little man.

jinnai- WHAT! I woke you up!! Ahhh ok fine.. fight me.. but first (whistles, several bugrom come in) fight them.. Groucho.. tenchi th eothers.. ATTACK!!!

Ifurita- sigh (she vlasts them all with one shot)

Jinnai- oh you think you have me beaten do you HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahhahhaHAhHAhHAhHAha

????- HAHAHhahHAhAhHahHA

BoB- is hat naga?

Ralph- no it’s… KODACHI

KOdachi-hello love miss me?

Jinnai- huh? oh hello kodachi.. can you take caare of this deamon god for me?

Kodachi of course.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

BoB- kodachi attacks ifurita but is knicked out by the power of the key staff

Jinnai- tthis bodes not well

BoB- we lost or visual!!! oh well i can hear what happened jinnai ain’t laughin no more

ralph- good

Winner: Ifurita

Naga v. Ryu

Bob: And now comes our next fight! This was brewing ever since the rumble matches. It’s Ryu Vs. Hysta..

Ralph: Not so fast, it has been changed. Naga is fighting Ryu, not Hystalin.

Bob: Naga is fighting Ryu? This is quite odd.

Ralph: Here comes Ryu now. Boy, he looks pretty hyped up for this fight. I think he’s expecting Hystalin to fight.

Bob: Boy, will he be surprised.

Ralph: Yes. Here comes Naga now, escorted by Hystalin.

Bob: Naga is really laughing right now. I think my ears are starting to bleed.

Ralph: Nah, you’re safe.

(DING!)

The bell rings! Ryu runs to Naga. Huh? Ryu stops!

Ryu: Naga? Why are you here? I was expecting Hystalin!

Naga: There was a change in the roster. Must’ve been a bug in the system. I’ll be fighting you instead of Hystalin tonight. So, be prepared for Naga the Serpent! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob: Ryu has struck with a sharp punch, but Naga dodges just in time. Naga seems to have something of her sleeves.

Ralph: What sleeves? She looks like she’s naked.

Bob: It’s the illusion from her armor, or lack thereof.

Naga: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! You cannot hurt me! I am Naga the Serpent!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Bob: Uh-oh, she’s using the same tactic she used on Happosai. She’s trying to bludgeon Ryu’s ears with her laugh! Where’s my earplugs?!

Naga: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ralph: That’s odd. Ryu seems to be unphased from Naga’s laugh. He throws his trademark “Hadoken” at Naga. It hits Naga, stopping her from laughing, and the UCTF breathes a collective sigh of relief.

Bob: Naga throws a fireball spell on Ryu, but the attack is nullified by another of Ryu’s “Hadoken” attack.

meow.

Ralph: What was that?

Bob: I don’t know, but it sounds familiar.

MEOW!

Ralph: Look! Look in the ring!

Bob: Oh no! Is that who I think it is?

Ralph: Oh shit!

Bob & Ralph: IT’S FELIX!!!!!

Bob: Someone put that cat out of our misery!

Ralph: Look down there… there’s some activity down there!

Bob: It’s Hystalin! She’s become a Super-Saiyin!

Hystalin: FELIX! YOU SHALL DIE NOW!!!!!

Bob: It looks like Hystalin is rushing to the evil cat! Whoa! That was fast!

Ralph: The cat gets on Hystalin’s back. This is deadly for the Black Paladin.

Bob: It makes a stratch on what looks like Hystalin’s behind. Hey! What’s that?

Ralph: It looks like some kind of plug! Felix must’ve damaged it.

Bob: No shit sherlock!

Ralph: Whatever.

Bob: That must’ve been the magic plug that was put on Hystalin when she was born, in order for her tail to stay detached.

Ralph: Look! It’s starting to crack!

Bob: Hystalin grabs Felix by the back of the neck, and it looks like she’s going to crush the cat’s skull.

Ralph: It would serve the cat right for all the chaos it did, espially when the cat killed Hystalin’s esper friend Carbunkle.

Bob: What is she doing now?

Ralph: It looks like she’s chanting a magic spell.

Hystalin: Hear me Carbunkle, bearer of the Ruby Light, answer my summons and come forth… NOW!!!!!!!

Bob: Look! It’s Carbunkle!P> Ralph: Awww… how cute!

Bob: Don’t say that! Azuka might hear you.. oh shit! Too late!

Azuka: Wow! It’s so cute!

Hystalin: Azuka, stay out of this! This is not the time for this!

Azuka: My Danielle is here. Wow, that is even cuter! Give me Ester!

Ralph: Azuka seems to be throwing everything that is not pinned down. She throws a chair, the bell, the Magic Sword of Fire?!?!

Bob: Lucky for her, the Magic Sword of Fire is legal in the UCTF.

Ralph: The bell ring hits Hystalin in the head. Oh no! She let go of the cat!

Azuka: It’s not so cute anymore! C-ya!

Bob: Azuka runs away! Good thing too.

Ralph: Yeah.

Bob: Felix gets on top of Hystalin and does some damage on the Black Paladin once again. She looks like shit now!

Ralph: The cat gets on top of Hystalin’s back once again. I think Felix is trying to scratch the magic plug on Hystalin again!

Bob: Oh now! It cannot be! The magic plug on Hystalin is broken! Hystalin has a monkey’s tail!!!

Ralph: This is really bad!

Hystalin: Felix, now there are two reasons why I shall and will kill you… for killing Carbunkle and for destroying every bit of normalcy in my life! PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!!!

Bob: Hystalin rushes to Felix and has the cat in a headlock again! This time, Hystalin look more pissed off than with her plug on!

Hystalin: Carbunkle, are you there?

Carbunkle: Yes, I’m still alive and kicking. What is it Hyst?

Hystalin: I summoned you here to make sure that you see your death will be and has been avenged!

MEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!

Hystalin: DIE FELIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(CRACK!!!!!)

Ralph: Oh my god! Felix’s skull has been cracked wide open like an egg! Felix is dead!

(suddenly several brightly dressed midget pop out of nowhere and sing a little song)

Ding Dong! Thecat is dead.
Which old cat?
The Wicked cat!
Ding Dong! The Wicked cat is dead.
Wake up – sleepy head,
Rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked vcat is dead.
She’s gone where the goblins go,
Below – below – below. Yo-ho,
Let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out.

Ding Dong’ the merry-oh,
Sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know The Wicked cat is
dead!
Ralph- here comes a bubble!! IT’S GLENDA THE GOOD WITCH

Glenda- ohhhohohoho hello little girl.. tell me are you a good with or a bad witch. Hystalin- oh i’m not a witch at all.

(the muchkins all laugh, so does naga)

Glenda- NOOOO make it stop

Naga- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Hystalin- naga.. cut it out.

Ralph- oh my god alook out evryone it’s a house!!

BoB- oh no thi sis horrible a house just fell i=on the munchkins and glenda killing them all.. and out of th ehouse steps

???- DA DA D DA DE DI TA DA!! HI I’M RIP TAYLOR.. ohh naga nice gazongiatas.. toot at atee te ta’s .. get it? NICE JUGS

Naga- shut up you fooll. HAHAHAHAHA Bob: Naga scasts fireball at rip Taylor, killing him instantly and the UCTF breathes a collective sigh of relief. But at what cost? The magic plug that was placed on Hystalin is broken and she now has a tail. Poor girl.

Ralph: I hope she feels okay. What an incredible trauma.

Hystalin: Carbunkle, I’ve finally avenged you. Ryu, Naga, continue your fight. I’m sorry I had to interfere. Ryu, next time we meet, we will fight together.

Bob: Hystalin runs off. I think it’s best for her to be left alone for awhile now.

Ralph: And now… the fight with Ryu & Naga continues.

Ryu: Naga, do you feel like fighting now?

Naga: I don’t think so. Care to deal this a draw?

Ryu: I guess it’s for the best.

Ralph: What’s going on? It looks like Ryu & Naga are going toward the mike.

Naga: Attention everyone! I wish to speak. Due to the current events that unfolded here, Ryu and I have decided to end this fight at a draw.

Ryu: I’ve discussed this with Naga and she agrees. Please be understanding. We apologize whole-heartedly for the inconvenience.

Bob: Ryu & Naga has decided to end this match in a draw.

Ralph: It’s understandable. What everything that happened, I’m not surprised this ended as a voluntary tie.

Bob: Well… do we have any more matches to finish?

Ralph: Just one…

Winner: Draw

Spawn v. Guyver

BoB- And now everyone, here is an interesting matchup, it is Guyver, vs. Spawn. These two have faced off before in a tag matchup, with Spawn coming out on top. But I am interseted in seeing how this one on one fight turns out.
Ralph- That’s right, but here comes Guyver now down the isle and into the ring.

(Crowd cheers)

BoB- The fans seem to like Guyver, but here comes Spawn now!

(Spawn enters)

BoB- And we are moments away from from the starting bell, as the two fighters prepare to face off.

(Ding)

Ralph- And we are are underway, as Guyver lunges at Spawn with a punch, but Spawn easily dodges and trips Guyver with a chain!

BoB- And Guver Goes down, but springs right back up again, only to be cought in the whirling chains of Spawn!

Spawn- This is where I destroy you…

Guyver- Not a chance!

Ralph- Gutve extends his vibroblades and slices through several chains of Spawn, and is able to break free! Guyver shashes at the mid-section of Spawn, and grazes him, which sends Spawn back!

BoB- Guyver leaps at spawn but is kicked back! and shot with a chain! The chain goes through Guyver’s chest plate! And this could be trouble! Guyver pulls out the chain and shoots Spawn with a beam from his head! And Spawn is sent out of the ring!

Ralph- And that is it! Spawn is counted out! What a way to go.

BoB- Yeah, well we had better move on to the next fight, which is Team Rockt vs. Electric Cold.

Winner- Guyver

Electric Cold v. Team rocket

BoB here comes electric cold now.
Ralph- wasn’t that a debie gbson song?

BoB- SILENCE MORTAL DO YOU DARE TO UNMASK THE FURY OF BOB THE MIGHTY>> DEMON LORD OF NEW ZELAND!!

Ralph- stop it bob.. you’re not fooling anyone

BOB ONLY FOOLS SPEAK OF THING STHEY KNOW NOT

Ralph- cut it BoB-

bOB- sorry

and here comes team rocket

James get ready for trouble

jessie- better make it double

Jessie: To protect the world from devistation..

James: To unite all peoples within our nation..

Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love!

James: To extend our reach to the stars above!

Jessie: Jessie!

James: James!

Jessie: Team Rocket! Blast off at the speed of light!

James: Surrender now or prepare to fight!

Meowth: Meowth! That’s right!

Mercury- sigh.. MERCURY BUBBLES!! BLAST!!!

Jupiter- JPITER THUDER CRASH!!!

BoB- that was quick.

Winner- electric cold

Gunsmith cats v. Burning Passion

Bob- rally and minnie mai make there way into the ring followed by sailor mars and venus
ralph- hey rei!!! (blows kiss) BoB- what about u-chan?

ralph- HWERE!?! WHERE IS SHE UCHAN? WHERE ARE YOU?

BoB- nevermind

Ralph- rally and mars start off.. mars kicks rally in the shin and pushes her over.. she then.. well

Mars- MARS FIRE IGNITE!!

BoB- rally dodges it though and tag in minnie mai who throws several bobsat mars. Mrs tags in venus who jump kicks minnie mai in the face.. she’s down and out

Winner: Burning Passion

MAIN EVENT
Mourl V. Ukyo

BoB- And now for the main event! It is Mourl the beakless turkey, president of the Beakless brand corn Co. vs. Ukyo Kuonji, for the Dustmaster Title fight!!!
Ralph- YEAH!! GO UKYO!!!

BoB- Be quiet Ralph. And now it is just a question of what trick will Mourl try to pull this time. It has been Mourl’s goal to obtain the Dustmaster Title, and I hav a feeling that he is going to pull out all the stops on this one.

Ralph- And here comes Ukyo down the isle to the ring! YEAHHHHH!!!!

BoB- Ukyo enters the ring and, and here comes Mourl, he is looking rather normal for this fight. I thought that he would enter late or something to fool his opponent.

(Mourl enters the ring)

BoB- And only a few more seconds untill the bell rings and we find out what crazy trick Mourl is going to try and pull!

(Ding)

Ralph- And there’s the bell! Ukyo stands in a defensive stance preparing for anything that Mourl might try.

BoB- Ukyo after a moment of standing there finally lashes at Mourl. And Mourl splits in two!! He has devided into two Mourls!

Ukyo- What the heck?

BoB- Both Mourls start to attack Ukyo at the same time! Ukyo slashes at both of them but it only devides into more Mourls!

Ralph- He pulled the Dividong Mourl trick! I knew he would do that!

BoB- Four Mourls are now attacking Ukyo. What is going onw here?

Ukyo- Do you think that I didn’t plan for this? FLour bomb!!!!

Ralph- And Ukyo has taken a high velocity flour bomb and blown up the ring!!! And it is over!!!! Ukyo is our now Dustmaster! She comes down in the area where the ring used to be. All four Mourls are obliterated! YEAH!!!

BoB- What is that???

(Mourl comes down from in the rafters and lands on one of the small pieces left from the ring)

BoB- No Look!!! MOurl pulled the dividing Mourl decoy trick! And Ukyo is counted out! Mourl is our First ever Dustmaster!

Ralph- What the?

BoB- Oh shut up Ralhp. Way to go Mourl!

(The crowd is going crazy)

BoB- What an interesting fight that was. Well everyone good night, And I hope you enjoyed the fights.

Winner- Mourl

 

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