Blu De’Ragnarok vs. Ric Austin | Xamot vs. Dimitri | Lo-Ruhamah vs. Bat-Girl

*As the cameras begin to roll inside of the UCTF Open Air Arena, the first image witnessed by the fans watching across the globe is the decorated inside of the Arena’s squared circle. What is usually a blood and dirt stained canvas has been covered by lavish red carpeting with a giant stand that sits centered in the ring. Sitting on the stand, facing the hard camera are two trophies with the respective insignias “UCTF Strong Man” and “UCTF Strong Women.” Standing near the solid gold trophies is UCTF Ring Announcer, Arzie.*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time I would like to introduce the SAVIOR of the UCTF, Saaassaaaaa DARRRRKKKK!!!

*The end of the esteemed announcer’s sentence is quickly drowned out by a raging torrent of booing from the capacity crowd as Sasa Dark’s theme music begins to play over the sound system! The Benefactor slowly saunters onto the stage, absorbing the full brunt of an angry UCTF before continuing his arrogant stride down the aisle.*

Bob: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to another edition of the Ultimate Saturday night event, MASSACRE! Beside me is my great friend and colleague, the hentai commentator, Ralph Gerrard!

Ralph: Look who’s watching Sasa’s back, Bob.

*Walking a short distance behind The Benefactor is the man who carried out Sasa’s orders at Cyberslam VII after Yugo Ogami failed to dethrone the UCTF Grand Champion…*

Bob: It’s that DAMN Reiji Takigawa! How in the hell is he not rotting in prison for MURDERING that poor woman at Cyberslam?!

Ralph: I don’t know.

*Sasa and what is presumably his new bodyguard enter the ring before dismissing Arzie back to his seat at ringside. The Korean asshole, now with a microphone delivers his trademark shit eating grin, totally blocking out the violent jeering being directed at him towards the fans.*

Sasa: ^___^ THANKS FOR THE LOVE!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Sasa: Tonight, I am allowing my favorite piece of scum the chance to begin making money again, as I’m officially REINSTATING Kunoi Ishigami back into active competition. In fact, I’m even going to place him in the main event next week, as he will face XIU SHIELDS’ on the next episode of Massacre.

Bob: Oh Great… after what happened at the April Fools Day show… Kunoi’s been fuming.

Ralph: And Kunoi doesn’t seem like the type who would let something go… even after FIVE MONTHS. He’s crazy. =(

Sasa: And Kunoi… I hope you win that match. =3

Everyone: O_o?

Sasa: I want you to enjoy your last time ever winning a contest inside this Arena, because at the next pay per view, CYBERSLAM VIII-

*The crowd EXPLODES at the mentioning of a new Pay Per View on the horizon!*

Sasa: You will be defending your championship TWICE in one night!!!

Ralph: And folks, that’s two less than Kunoi had to go through at the last Cyberslam… o_o

Bob: Indeed. Sasa must be going soft.

Sasa: And sure, I know what you idiots here in the arena and at home are thinking! BUT SASA, YOU PUT HIM AGAINST FOUR PEOPLE AT THE LAST CYBERSLAM AND HE WON ALL OF THEM, INCLUDING A BOXING MATCH WITH YUGO! YEAH WELL THOSE FOUR PEOPLE HE FOUGHT WERE EMBARRASSMENTS TO THE UCTF.

*The collective eyes of the fans begin to widen as Sasa’s calm, happy go lucky demeanor quickly deteriorates…*

Sasa: NO… … e_e no this time Kunoi. You’re GOING to lose. You’re GOING to be embarrassed, because these two proved themselves not to be total failures at Ultimate Massacre II!

Bob: Was that a compliment?

Sasa: >=D Come on out.

*”We Don’t Care Anymore” by Story of the Year begins first, bringing out one half of the UCTF Tag Team Champions, X-23!*

Bob: And here comes the woman who went through her own tag team partner, Bat-Girl, Marcella Grace and finally, Leona to win the 2008 UCTF Strong Woman Championship!

Ralph: That match with Leona was brutal…

*Once X-23 climbs into the ring, “Hanyou Inuyasha” begins playing next! Out walks the Half-Breed Dog Demon who holds both the Weaponmaster and Intergalactic Championship titles!*

Bob: And Inuyasha, who defeated Xamot, Gideon, and finally vanquishing his rival, Raven Darc in the finals to claim the UCTF Strong Man Championship!

Ralph: This guy scares the crap out of that entire locker room, Bob. He’s almost indestructible!

*The Strong Man and Woman stand in the ring, arms folded while Sasa Dark slowly steps in between them.*

Sasa: YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE END OF KUNOI ISHIGAMI’S UCTF GRAND CHAMPONSHIP RUN! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Ralph: I’ll admit, it’s not looking good at all.

Sasa: For proving that I’m not completely wasting the money I’m paying you both on a weekly basis, I am honoring you both by presenting these NEW AND IMPROVED Strong person trophies, as well as a Grand Championship match at Cyberslam VIII. Great Job! ^_^

*A close up of the trophy shows that SASA’S FACE has been carved on the statue.*

Bob: Are you KIDDING me?

*Sasa motions towards the aisle and out comes Senior Official Guy Lombardo rushing to the ring. Reiji, who produces a coin from his pocket, tosses the coin over to the referee. Guy gives the coin a good looking over before signaling to Sasa that it’s alright.*

Sasa: Here’s how it will work. Kunoi will face the winner of this coin toss. If that ugly Japanese son of a bitch SOMEHOW managed to win his match up against the first opponent, then he will go on to face the second opponent at the end of the Pay Per View. If heads hits, Kunoi will take on X-23 first, and if Tails, he will face off against dog boy here. So let’s get the coin toss under way!

*Guy Lombardo flips the coin, allowing it to fall back onto the carpeted canvas.*

Sasa: …..

Fans: …..

Guy: IT’S HEADS!

Bob: And there we go! Kunoi Ishigami will take on X-23 first at UCTF: Cyberslam VIII!

Ralph: Is that good or bad for Kunoi?

Bob: Well, X-23 proved that she is a superior fighter in the UCTF, but did you see what Inuyasha did to Raven Darc!? That guy’s only defeat in this company came because it took FIVE people in a concerted effort to take him out of the match!

Sasa: And just to prove I am a fair man, at Cyberslam, Inuyasha, I will place you in a match of equal competition… In fact, just for the fun of it, on the next edition of Massacre, The number one contenders will duel when The Dog Demon, Inuyasha will take on X-23 in a non title match!

Bob: O_o wow.

Ralph: I know. You’d think Sasa would stack the deck against Kunoi, but…

*Sasa’s mood quickly darkens AGAIN…*

Sasa: And for the rest of you idiots here in the UCTF, Cyberslam is going to be a VERY VERY BAD DAY FOR ALL OF YOU E_E. THE REMAINING ROSTER WILL COMPETE IN A LITTLE CONCEPT CALLED “THE SASA DARK APPRECAITION TOURNAMENT!”

Bob: Oh God! He’s been teasing that for months! WHAT IS IT?!

Ralph: nothing good, Bob. I can tell you that right now that it’s nothing good.

Sasa: Thank you everyone and have a good night! ^___^!

*Sasa’s music hits once more as he retreats to the back with his bodyguard in tow.*

Ralph: I’m beginning to suspect that he’s bi-polar.

Bob: That would explain a lot… Oh, and also the fact that he’s just a blatant asshole. I mean, he was speaking as if Kunoi is going to waltz right past X-23. I seriously don’t see that happening!

*X-23 and Inuyasha, opponents for next week, and POTENTIAL opponents for Cyberslam give each other a parting glare before the tag team champion leaves the ring. Inuyasha prepares to leave as the ring crew rushes down to tear down the decorated sections of the ring, but something out of the corner of his eye catches him.*

Inuyasha: …

*The dog demon reaches down and picks up the coin that was used in the toss. He slowly flips it over to reveal a SECOND head!*

Crowd: O_O

Bob: OH WHAT THE HELL?!

Ralph: Two sided coin? …That SHITTY Referee Guy Lombardo lied!

Bob: What did you expect!? What is Sasa doing?! He purposely put X-23 in the first match with Kunoi!

Arzie: Ladies and gentlemen, the following matchup is scheduled for one fall… introducing first already in th ring, the winner of the TXI Federation Tournament and the one who destroyed an entire arena in Lansing, Michigan… ROCK HARD RRRRIIIICCCC AUUUUSSSTTTIIINNN!!!

Ralph: The first match of Massacre is now going to be underway!

Bob: Ric Austin against a newcomer to the UCTF!

Ralph: NOOO!!! GOD NOO!!! X_x

Bob: ….. The more I see Ric Austin, the more I’m beginning to understand your pain… o_o

Ric: e_e *raises arm*

*Then ‘Eternal Gravestones’ by composers Naoshi Mizuta and Nobuo Uematsu blares from the speakers, prompting the UCTF’s newest fighter Blu De’Ragnarok to walk down the ramp toward the ring. The crowd barely shows any interest, as fighters need to earn their popularity among the fans around here. Funnily enough, both fighters have their faces covered; Ric with his mask and Blu with his veil.*

Ralph: He looks like he’s from one of those Allah Ackbar places. o_O

Bob: Ralph, don’t insult those people! Do you want your head chopped off?! >=|

Ralph: What if he’s not Muslim?

Bob: SO WHAT IF HE’S NOT?!

Arzie: And his challenger, from the land of Aht Urghan… he is the mage BLLLUUUUU DEEEE’RAAGGNAROOOKKK!!!!

*The mage steps into the ring, and then pulls out his two swords, the Tizona and the Beastslayer, both with DMG 42… which could be either good or bad, depending on Ric’s health points. Um… Ric Austin has health points? Oh never mind.*

*DING!*

Blu De’Ragnarok vs Ric Austin

Ric: Woah woah, this is no damn Weaponmaster match here! I DIDN’T SIGN MY CONTRACT TO DO THIS–… oh fuck it. e_e

*Ric Austin begins the match by charging straight for the well-dressed blue mage! That proves to be a bad mistake as Blu counters with a nasty Fast Blade, cutting slashes through Ric’s body! Ric’s health points drop 50 points! Before Ric can even recover, Blu continues on the onslaught with a Red Lotus Blade attack, scorching Ric to a burnt crisp and sending him high in the air! And since Blu’s just beginning this, he executes the Spirit’s Within as he jumps to Ric’s level in mid-air, striking him continiously and then follows it up with a Vorpal Blade! He’s not even finished yet as he does the Expiacion, which provokes an Aftermath spell upon hit, giving Blu an accuracy bonus! Exactly how one can tell someone’s accuracy has improved by a point or by a loss of a point… no one really knows! What do you think this is, a RPG VIDEO GAME?! Oh wait…*

Ric: X___X!!

Bob: Blu is off to an impressive start here!

Ralph: *watches YouTube videos instead*

Bob: Ralph! Focus on the match! e_e

Ralph: This guy is confusing, so I’m looking at YouTube videos to figure out his moves. o_o

Bob: *sighs* ~_~

*Blu with his overly-complicated moveset simply waits for Ric’s body to land with a THOOOM, and then his hands start to burn as he chants a spell!*

Bob: Ric’s gonna be in a world of hurt here!

Ralph: Yeah and…?

Ric: *cough* *cough* Is that all? e_e I had a tiger run into my apartment and I survived that… bring it!

Blu: e_e

*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!*

*Blu goes through his looooong list of spells, starting with… a Blastbomb! The ring becomes engulfed in flames like Andre Tau has just showed up, and then Blu chants a Bomb Toss, sending Ric’s flaming body into the air again! Then a Pinecone Bomb (which is a piercing spell), a Death Scissors spell, a Helldive spell, Blood Saber, and finally… a MP Drainkiss! But… there’s one problem with that last spell…*

Ric: *HAS NO MAGIC POINTS IN THE FIRST PLACE*

Blu: o_o

Ralph: Um… get out of the way, blue magic guy… o_o

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!*

Crowd: OOOOOOHHH!!!! o_<

*Blu had sent Ric high in the air with that many spells in the combination… but is so surprised by the lack of effect from the MP Drainkiss that he forgets to step out of the way as Ric drops and SLAMS down onto Blu’s body! Ric’s body bounces several times before resting on top of Blu!*

Referee: o_o…. Oh! ONE… TWO….

*KICKOUT!!!*

Ralph: OH MAN! ALMOST GOT AN UPSET THERE!!

Bob: Blu has just kicked out of a potientally embarrassing loss there!

Blu: *coughs and staggers up to stand*

Ric: x____x

Blu: Ugh… my health points are low…

*Blu chants the Healing Breeze spell… and since the Referee is within the immediate area of the effect, he suddenly feels… more healthy!*

Referee: WTF? I FEEL GREAT! ^___^

Ralph: ……

Bob: wat

*However Blu sees Ric standing up! He takes several steps back, amazed by how Ric could withstand that much punishment!*

Ric: e_x…

*Ric charges for an attack! Blu prepares for another spell but Ric beats him to the punch, literally! He starts to pound onto the mage, whose spells are almost to a desperately depleted point! Blu collapses to the corner of the ring, where Ric continues to punch him on the face, chest, stomach and then mudstomps him when Blu gets to the ground!*

Bob: Ric’s giving him a beating there!

Ralph: He’s certainly gaining a lot of confidence since winning that TXA thing. o_o

Bob: This is Ric Austin we’re talking about… just wait a bit, he’ll be on the losing end again. e_e

*Ric is THROWN BACK when Blu engulfs himself with lightning and undergoes the Thunder Impaction Skillchain! What consistutes this skillchain? HELL IF I KNOW, I DON’T PLAY THE GAME AND EVEN THE WIKI FOR IT IS CONFUSING. Ric once again flies high up in the air, smoke trailing from his ass… and since the Arena is OPEN-AIR… he just keeps on flying higher and higher, wishing that there’s a Dallas Cowboys Big-Screen to stop his ascent! But alas there isn’t one, and finally gravity takes over and Ric starts to fall!*

Ric: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*A Ric Austin-sized crater is in the center of the ring!!*

Blu: o_x….

Ref: o_o……. um, ring the bell.

*DING DING DING*

Bob: And Blu De’Ragnarok wins his first match against Ric Austin!

Ralph: Big woop. e_e

Winner: Blu De’Ragnarok

*The programming halts for a few moments while the ring crew has to remove Ric Austin from the ring, while another set repairs the canvas that was destroyed thanks to Austin’s bulbous body crashing through the canvas. THANKS A LOT BLU! Finally, once everything has been corrected, the ring announcer returns to the center of the ring…*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall…

*Arzie’s line prompts the song “Eclipsed” by Evans Blue to chime up, which can only mean one thing…*

Ralph: Oh Crap!

*Ralph’s sentiment is echoed from the capacity crowd, because HE’S back! That’s right, the Russian Military Energy Vampire, DIMITRI has returned to the UCTF!*

Arzie: Introducing first, making his return to UCTF competition… DIIIMMIIITRRRIIIII!!

Bob: Dimitri has resurfaced after vanishing from UCTF programming for more than two years!

Ralph: Last time I saw him, Andre Tau had beaten the crap out of him in the back stage area right before his match up with Kunoi Ishigami! Which reminds me, where the hell is Andre?

Bob: Hell if I know!

*Regardless, Dimitri has returned, and is here to do battle against a man he’s already defeated once in a UCTF ring. The foreboding theme, “Forever Torment” begins playing next as the lights around the UCTF Open Air Arena de-illuminates into darkness…*

Arzie: And his opponent…

Ralph: Last time these guys fought, Dimitri pretty much embarrassed Xamot. You think the big guy is still angry?

Arzie: Hailing from the BA-O_O OH SHIT!!

*The demon swoops into the ring directly in front of Arzie! The ring announcer scurries out of harms way as fast as his legs will take him while the demon grabs the unsuspecting Dimitri around the face. Xamot quickly plows the Energy sucking Vampire into the corner! The sound of The Russian’s body’s impact into the corner, followed the sounds of screws and bolts snapping under the impact, which lead into the ring ropes quickly loosening and falling to the ground. The corner of the ring itself gives way, as the steel BEAM holding it’s end of the ring together falls over like a tree, just BARELY missing the crowd, thanks to the barrier!*

Bob: I would say yes!

Ralph: I bet Arzie is SO happy he decided to wear dark colored pants today! Xamot almost destroyed the entire ring with Dimitri’s head!

!!DING DING DING!!

Dimitri vs. Xamot

*But even after a powerful sneak attack such as the one Xamot delivers, the Energy Vampire shrugs off the attack like the badass he is, before flashing a sinister smirk!*

Dimitri: Hello Xamot. Missed me?

*He quickly retaliates with an uppercut to Xamot’s chin! This powerful punch, coupled with his Psi-Vampiric powered ‘Exhausting Touch,” Xamot is sent flying! Airborne following the terrifying uppercut, the demon flips backwards before gently landing on the opposing side of the squared circle. Even more enraged, Xamot’s demonic ki begins to permeate. From which, he begins to mould his dark ki into the forms of sharks.*

Xamot: MAKO STRIKE!

Bob: Xamot sends his Mako strike into a feeding frenzy!

*Leaping over the frenzy of energy sharks, Dimitri plays right into Xamot’s hand who follows up with a wave of dark energy. It connects, sending Dimitri into the first row of fans. Now, The fans know that the buying a first row ticket to a UCTF event is almost asking to die, but to be there when Xamot’s fighting and has his targets set in your direction?? And even worse…*

Dimitri: I forgot how tasty your energy was Xamot. How’s about a little more?

Fans: D:!!!

*Dimitri is ASKING for it! Xamot growls as he gathers energy for his Nile Star, and many fans begin to wisely make their exit from the danger area. Well, almost, all of them. One unfortunate slow poke manages to be caught in the grasp of Dimitri, as he launches the poor bastard into the on coming ki attack!*

Bob: OH GOD! OH DEAR GOD!!

Ralph: o_o Wow. Haven’t seen a good Fan incineration in a while.

*The spraying of human bits distracts Xamot just for the tiny FRACTION of a second Dimitri needed to advance within range to once again utilize the Exhausting Touch. The powerful energy draining technique staggers Xamot just from being in the VACINITY of the attack, and Dimitri capitalizes on his newly acquired advantage by flooring the demon with a BEAAAUTIFUL jumping kick.*

Dimitri: Got ya. >=)

Bob: XAMOT DOWN!

Ralph: oh come on, The bastard absorbs his energy attacks! He absorbs physical attacks!

*The demon has to think fast or risk having all of his energy sapped from his current body. And with Dimitri latched on top of him attempting his “Restrainer” technique, Xamot only has one option at this point. Xamot takes flight with a Russian latched onto his back!*

Bob: XAMOT GOES UP!

Ralph: This might end badly for Dimi-

*Xamot quickly switches directions and speeds towards the Earth like a Meteor!*

Dimitri: oh sh-

Crowd: *TURNS HEAD*

Ralph: Well what was left of that ring is pretty much scraps right now…

Bob: And that move alone could have changed the course of this contest!

Ralph: Uhh.. Did you see the part where Dimitri broke the ring with his head?

*Ralph is correct, however, falling from a ridiculous height at terminal velocity is no picnic! Dimitri remains motionless for the time being, which finally gives Xamot his first major advantage in this contest, and he’s not willing to give it away that easily…*

Xamot: …RISE!

*The former champion calls forth the souls of his many victims who quickly latch themselves onto the Russian, holding him down for their master Xamot, who slowly ascends above the arena… His previous expression of frustration now erased, his trademark, sadistic smirk has returned, as now he has Dimitri in the perfect position to finish him off!*

Xamot: ahahahaha AHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU’RE FINISHED!

Ralph: oh crap.

Xamot: MEGALAAAAAAAADOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!

*Xamot’s ultimate ki attack levels the remaining pile of metal that was once the ring and obliterates it, along with the souls of his damned victims and Dimitri himself! The ki from the blast spreads out upon impact, causing the entire Arena to shake at it’s very foundation!*

Bob: NO ONE gets up from that attack! I think Dimitri might be within moments of his first one on one loss here in the UCTF!

Ralph: o_o Not if the Referee got killed in that blast.. then I’d assume this would be a no contest.

*The Billowing smoke from the impact of the attack fills the arena, as Fans struggle to return to their seats…*

Ralph: uh oh..

Bob: what?

Ralph: too much smoke. I’ve watched enough Anime to know that THIS isn’t ever good!

*And Ralph is right once again, because as the smoke dissipates, one thing becomes increasingly clear, it will take A LOT more than that to knock out The Russian.*

Dimitri: ugh.. Not bad.

Everyone: D:!!

Ralph: *MOUTH DROPS*

Bob: The Russian is STANDING after that attack! He’s worse for wear, but he’s seems to be doing just fine.

Dimitri: Now.. IT’S MY TURN!

Xamot: D:!

*The Russian draws his hands in the same manner as his nemesis just a few moments earlier, and begins to call upon his newly acquired demon powers!*

Bob: Don’t tell me he’s going to-

Dimitri: MEGALADONNNN!!!!

Ralph: HE IS!

*Xamot is bombarded with his very on super ki blast attack, and though it lacks the same amount of force that the Demon’s, it’s MORE than enough to finish off the already battle worn Xamot who know slowly falls to the area where the ring USED to be!*

Bob: Xamot is down!

*Another referee rushes to the scene following the blast, and it’s simply elementary. Xamot ain’t getting up anytime soon!*

Ref: o_o Ring it!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: It’s over! Dimitri’s singles undefeated record remains intact after an impressive finish!

Winner: Dimitri

*Following the match, EMTs rush to carry the unconscious demon to the back. Meanwhile, the ring crew rushes to begin construction of a new squared circle. Dimitri, however, remains in the same spot, with his arms still clasped together.*

Crew member: uhh.. sir? O_o

Dimitri: I think I put a little too much into that atta—

*The Russian’s passes out mid-sentence before landing face first on the broken concrete below.*

Everyone: o_o….

Ralph: I hope the EMTs brought another gurney…

*After another break, we return to the action, with Good ol’ Arzie The Ring announcer standing in the center of the newly built structure…*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is our featured contest of the evening!

*Story of the Year’s “We Don’t Care Anymore” begins playing following Arzie’s short monologue…*

Arzie: Introducing first… hailing from Gotham City, she is one half of the UCTF’s Tag Team Champions… BAAAAAAAATTT-GIRRRLLLL!!!

Bob: Bat-Girl makes his way down the aisle, fresh off of her RAZOR THIN loss against her very tag team partner at the Only The Strong Tournament many months ago. Will she avenge that loss tonight?

Ralph: Considering her opponent is a 300lb tub of lard… I’d say, yeah.

Have Mercy On Me… A Sinner.

*Speaking of the Devil, out walks the UCTF’s greatest World Champion! And he has a surprise for everyone in attendance!*

Arzie: And her opponent… weighing in tonight at TWO-HUNDRED AND FIVE POUNDS…

Everyone: D:!

*That’s right! The Steve Wilkos pep talk worked! Lo-Ruhamah is down to his fighting shape! Along with his weight, he’s shed his ice cream stained clothing and is back to wearing his Metrosexual attire with a renewed look of determination on his face!*

Arzie: He is the former UCTF World Champion… The Unloved one, LOOOOO-RUHAMAHHHHH!!!

Ralph: …well I’ll be damned. e_e

Bob: Wow, this begs the question Ralph, if he was able to lose that much weight in a matter of months, how haven’t you lost any weight in 11 years?!

Ralph: I’M HAPPY WITH MY WEIGHT. e_e

!!DING DING DING!!

Bat-Girl vs. Lo-Ruhamah

*Somewhere in the Midwest of the United States, Steve Wilkos watches the action from his television set, trying his best to hold back a tear.*

Steve: ;_; Thattaboy, Lo… Thattaboy…

*The action starts off quickly back at the UCTF complex with the “All Business” Bat-girl quickly charging Lo-Ruhamah! The Unloved one parries away several of his female opponent’s strikes, before returning fire with a wild, chi-powered slap attempt. Bat-Girl manages to avoid having her chest lit up, Ric Flair style by rolling under it. Lo stumbles a few feet forward when he hits all air, while Bat-Girl charges into the ropes before allowing them to spring her back towards the center of the ring.*

Lo: e_e!

*Lo spins around and catches the flying Bat in the face with a holy punch that sends the tag team champion upside down!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOHHH!!

Bob: Big Haymaker by the Former World Champion!

Ralph: Well he’s got his speed back… Remember when that Momoiro girl beat him?

Bob: unfortunately!

*The Unloved one quickly pulls Bat-girl back to her feet by the arm, before attempting to twist her over into the Purgatory Whip! He’s not quick enough, however, as Cassandra slips out of the arm lock attempt! She ends up behind the now prone Lo and PUNISHES his error with her Handstand Frankensteiner technique!*

Bob: BEAUTIFUL reversal! Ruhamah bounces off of his hea-HE’S BACK UP O_O

*Lo completely NO SELLS being tossed to his head and charges forward with a chi powered Lariat in tow! Bat-Girl wisely ducks the decapitation attempt and punishes the former Champion with a shuffle side kick before following quickly with quick boxing strikes to soften up Lo’s midsection…*

Ralph: Lo’s new rock hard abs are being put to the test right now!

Bob: o_o……

Ralph: What?!

Bob: and I’m supposed to be the gay one…

*She finishes the combo off with a BIG rising knee that knocks Lo CLEAR on his back in the center of the ring!*

Bob: Lo’s down early in the contest!

*Cassandra leaps into the air. She continues her assault on Lo, never giving him a second to recover by raining down what HAS to be an endless supply of batterangs from the heavens! Lo rolls and dives the tiny metal bats until one finally meets his mark, causing a tear in his beloved tuxedo!*

Lo: …

Ralph: aww shit!

Lo: >=|! YOU BITCH! THIS IS THE TUXEDO I WORE WHEN I WON THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE FIRST TIME! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS COST?! HAAAAAAAA!!!!

*Now VERY pissed, Lo manifests ki from the tips of his fingers to his elbows before charging towards Bat-Girl!*

Ralph: This ain’t good for Gotham puppies!

*Now moving double his normal speed, Lo delivers a vicious string of punches in which Bat-Girl attempts valiantly to defend! However, the new surge of chi energy is too much for even the trained assassin to handle, and she is sent crashing into the corner! Lo mounts the downed superhero and continues his vicious chi laden assault! Punch after punch find their way into the jaw of his opponent!*

Bob: Ok Ref! You’re going to have to make a decision here in a second if she can’t answer!

Ralph: This isn’t UFC, asshole! Stop with that mercy crap!

*Ralph is right, as JUST when things looked too much for the Caped Crusader, she pulls a miracle right out of her utility belt! Catching a punch from Ruhamah, Cassandra quickly slaps a bat-cuff over his wrist, followed by slapping the other cuff to the bottom rope! Bat-girl slips through Lo’s legs, leaving the former World Champion chained and helpless!*

Lo: What the?!

Ralph: Where does she get such wonderful toys?!

Bob: I don’t know but she’s leaving the ring and going on the apron.. whatever she’s thinking about, it can’t be good for Lo!

Bat-Girl: RRARRGGHH!!

*Lo, just as helpless as he can be can only watch in horror as Cassandra LEVELS him in the face with a springboard dropkick from ALL THE WAY across the ring!*

!!POP!!

Crowd: OOOOOOHHHH!!

*Lo collapses on the bottom rope before his body slowly falls to the canvas below!*

Ralph: that was one HELL of a kick!

Bob: I’m not surprised if Lo is unconscious from a SICKENING blow to the skull like that!

*Fighting through the pain, Lo proves his toughness by pulling himself back into the ring! He’s not doing himself any favors, however, as Cassandra Cain stands in the corner, patiently awaiting her opponent! She opens up on him again, delivering a string of punches and kicks to the helpless opponent in the corner!*

Bob: Now the roles have completely reversed! Lo needs to find a way to get himself out of this pinch before the referee calls this one!

Ralph: ASLD;FKJADS;LF DAMNIT BOB! THIS ISN’T THE UFC! STOP IT!

*And again, Ralph is right! Lo’s foot manages to find it’s way into Bat-Girl’s chest and he throws EVERYTHING he’s got behind the thrust that sends her rolling all the way across the ring! Now with only a few moments of solitude, Lo powers up his free hand with chi energy…*

Lo: HOLY… PUNCH!

*Screaming the name of his attack for pure dramatic effect, Lo Holy Punches THROUGH the titanium fiber Bat-cuff!*

Bob: Impressive strength by the Former World Champion, freeing himself from his predicament!

Ralph: I told you! >=|

*A quick, yet intense stare down commences by both parties before they charge each other! Bat-Girl swings a haymaker which is ducked! Lo wraps his arms around Cassandra’s waist from behind! He throws all of his weight backwards, hitting a german suplex! He rolls over, lifts her back up and hits a second! He rolls and lifts her up, and she blocks the third suplex attempt! An elbow to the neck breaks the hold, followed by a stiff roundhouse to the face! Batgirl then attempts to flip Lo over, who blocks the attempt, lifts HER into the air and delivers a devastating body slam in the center of the canvas!*

Bob: The pendulum continues to swing here as momentum is shifting all over the place!

*Lo quickly raises his arms into the air while speaking a quick incantation that causes Bat-Girl’s body to float from the ground…*

Ralph: Not good!

Bob: indeed! Lo’s going for his magical submission maneuver, “Surrender Your Soul!”

*Bat-Girl, having prepped for this EXACT moment, cancels the submission technique by tossing ALL of her smoke bombs into the center of the ring before Lo can fully focus his attack! The entire ringside area becomes obscured from the billowing smoke coming from the squared circle!*

Bob: PERFECT timing with those smoke bombs there by Bat-Girl! And now Lo-Ruhamah is in trouble! With no idea where his opponent is, the ninjitsu trained Bat-Girl has the advantage!

*From the shadows, Cassandra Cain pounces from the top rope towards Lo-Ruhamah…*

Lo: e_e MY TURN!! HAAAA!!!

!!FLOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*Avens’ body burns a brilliant white light, instantly blinding Bat-Girl in midflight! The aura is so powerful it instantly destroys the smoke from Bat-Girls weapon, which leaves the tag team champion defenseless to a STIFF kick to the stomach*

Bob: LIGHT FOR THE BLIND!

Ralph: Not only that, but…

*Lo locks Bat-Girl’s arms with an underhook! Throwing his leg behind him, Lo swings it back forward to gain a massive amount of momentum to hit his double underhook DDT!*

Ralph: BAM!!

Bob: Lo plants the poor woman in the center of the ring with a DISGUSTING DDT! And up he goes to the top rope! This could spell the end of this match-up!

*Lo, now ascended on the top turnbuckle, turns his back to his opponent, while charging his body with more light energy…*

Bob: I think we’re going to see the-

*He leaps backwards, hitting the PICTURE PERFECT Moonsault in the center of the ring!*

Bob: FINAL JUDG-

*The moment he lands on top of Bat-Girl, the resourceful superhero uses all of Lo’s momentum against him, rolling her and himself over into a MIRACLE small package! The referee is in PERFECT position!*

Bob: BAT-GIRL REVERSES INTO A SMALL PACKAGE OUT OF NO WHERE!

Ref: 1…. 2…… 3!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Ralph: WHAT THE HELL?!

Bob: BAT-GIRL GETS THE PIN! UNBELIEVABLE!

*Lo kicks out of the pinfall attempt at 3.000000000001 seconds and is on his knees with a look of exasperation on his face! Bat-Girl lays motionless after what many will consider as a MIRACLE pin after Lo-Ruhamah had a commanding lead in the match!*

Lo: D:!!

Arzie: The winner of this match…. BATTT-GIRRLLLL!!!

Crowd: *POPS!*

Winner: Bat-Girl

*Lo slowly stands up…*

Lo: o_o..

Bob: That was one hell of a performance by both participants! Bat-Girl proves she can get it done in the singles division of the UCTF and Lo has proven that he is BACK and Better than ev— OH WAIT!!

*Lo leaps to the top rope in a single bound and hits the FINAL JUDGMENT a second time on Bat-Girl!*

Crowd: …BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Bat-Girl: X_X

Lo: *FLIPS EVERYONE OFF* @_@!!!

Ralph: o_o umm.. Ok. Lo Really IS back.

Bob: x_x… for Ralph Gerrard, this is Bobby Hinden saying goodnight.

*As the cameras fade from tonight’s events, Sasa Dark stands in his darkened office overlooking Anime City.*

Sasa: a.. alright. I did ask you asked. Everyone’s going to be here. The Entire Roster. Now remember our part of the deal.

*As Dark figure standing the shadows of the office cracks a smile on his face.*

Excellent, Sasa. Do not worry, I keep my word. For this, you will be rewarded handsomely.

End.

 

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