Ukyo & Xiahau the Blue Staff Vs. Tatewaki Kuno &Tetsuko Miroki | Kasuhiki Jinnai & Hystalin the Black Paladin Vs. Ryu & ZelgadisGraywoods | New Wave Dave & Lina Inverse Vs. Shinji Ikari & KodachiKuno | Guyver & Erlos Vs. Tenchi Masaki & Kasumi Tendo | Beowulf & Artemis Enteri Vs. Iceman & Sailor Bowser | Fireball & Fujisawa Vs. Skuld & Goul’Dan | Mourl & Spawn Vs. Midnight Rider & Ryoga Hibiki | Naga & Tessai Vs. Highlander & Vampire Hunter D

BoB- we’ve got a big noight tonight so i won’t bother telling ya what you’re gonnea see so just sit back and relax.. we’re commin at you in surround sound.

Ukyo and Xiahau v. Kuno and Tetsuko

BoB- The match at hand is the pairing of Ukyo and Xiahau against the pairing of Tetsuko Mourl Hiroshi and Kuno Tetiweki!
Ralph- This should be a great fight to watch, BoB! The fighters are capable, and there’s a story following each of them. The question remains as to Xiahau’s allegiance. In the Rumble, it is suspected that he tried to mortally wound New Wave Dave…

BoB- After the rumble, he promptly vanished, leaving us in the dark as to his motivations.

Ralph- Right. Kuno has been declining ever since his strong victory over NWD. He’s been feeling plenty of pressure to turn his luck around and prove that the win wasn’t a fluke.

Bob- Tetsuko, his partner, looks to be a strong up-and-coming fighter. He showed well against Devilman in the Rumble, and is one to watch. But there’s no shame in losing to the blue staff and U–

Ralph- UKYO! Damn right! My Ukyo. GO U-CHAN!! Kick their sorry @$$E$!

BoB- Uhm… yeah. And as we speak, here come Ukyo and Xiahau, who enter the ring with a warm greeting from the crowd! Ukyo looks this way and gives Ralph a look of complete disgust!

Ralph- No! Meaningful eye contact!! GO GET ‘EM U-CHAN!!

BoB- That’s enough of that, Ralph. Here come Kuno and Tetsuko from different entrances to the sound of a few fewer cheers. They meet in the ring, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s for the first time! Kuno is known to be fiercely independent, and Tetsuko has reportedly been busy, involved in a classified project with the Beakless Mourls… but that’s all I can say about that.

Ralph- Xiahau and Kuno step reluctantly out of the ring. Tetsuko and my Ukyo will fight first! And here we g–


BoB- Ukyo quickly releases a trio of small, deadly spatulas straight at Tetsuko… who catches them each in his teeth! Amazing!

Ralph- Scum! SWALLOW IT, YOU %>*{# !!!!!

BoB- Damn it, Ralph! Don’t say %>*{# on the air! Tetsuko spits out the spatulas and they hit the floor with a clink… now Tetsuko lunges foreward, but Ukyo nimbly leaps aside! She counters with a great spatula swipe, but Tetsuko dodges!


BoB- Tetsuko jumps foreward and trips Ukyo, sending her sprawling! But not before her spatula connects and knocks Tetsuko to the floor! They’re back up quickly! Tetsuko slams Ukyo on the knee with a low, sweeping kick! She counters with a kick that flies just above Tetsuko’s shoulder blade. Tetsuko grips her ankle and throws his weight foreward and down, sending Ukyo flying over his shoulder… Ralph, stop biting your fingertips…. Using her spatula as a vault, Ukyo flips and lands onto her feet!

Ralph- And she gets up to slam that freak! COME ON U–

BoB- Ralph, go bite your fingertips…. Now Tetsuko and Ukyo meet again in the center of the ring. Tetsuko drops and slides quickly… onto Ukyo’s spatula! Ukyo scoops him up and tosses him over her head! Tetsuko hits the floor hard and is still down!

Ralph- And now she’ll– #@*%!

BoB- Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkin High, rushes into the ring, brandishing his bokken! Xiahau the Blue Staff follows immediately from the other end! Tetsuko is still on the ground as Kuno and Xiahau reach the center of the ring! All four combatants are in a condensed jumble! Kuno looks really geared up! Tetsuko starts to rise. Kuno takes a powerful swing at Xiahau, who ducks, and… the bokken hits Tetsuko directly in the head!


Bob- And bounces back harmlessly, flying from Kuno’s grasp and out of the ring! Tetsuko is wearing a metal hairpiece! Tetsuko played the old Metal Hairpiece trick! He must have got that one from Mourl! And it backfired on his own partner! Kuno is in shock! Xiahau feints to his right and delivers two quick strikes to Kuno’s side! Kuno is down and looks comatose! But Tetsuko runs from behind Xiahau and tackles him! He punches fiercely at Xiahau, who squirms past one blow but takes a tough one to the chest!

Ralph- But UYKO HITS THE BLOODY BASTARD!! That’s my Spatula Girl!

BoB- Ukyo pushes Tetsuko to the ground, and it looks like he’s in trouble, despite a valiant effort! Ukyo loses no time, smacking him with the flat of her weapon. Xiahau is on his feet and follows with a strong blow from his staff. Ukyo and Xiahau step back, and the referee has started counting:


Ralph- Damn right! Wooo! Way to go, U-Chan!

BoB- This one’s in the books! And in only one minute and two seconds, Xiahau…

Ralph- He didn’t do a damn thing! It was–

BoB- and Ukyo defeat Kuno and Tetsuko! Now, if Ralph has calmed down, it’s time to move onto our next fight.

Winners: Xiahau and Ukyo

Jinnai and Hystalin v. Zel and Ryu

BoB- what a fight that was. next up we have Zel and Ryu v. Hystalin and Jinnai.
Ralph- an interesing fight indeed. it seems that the winner would be zel and ryu merely because Hystalion got piared up with a piece of $hit partner but teh recent events could actulay make the difference here they could make ro break hystalin

BoB- i agree.. there’s a lot of pent up anger and agressionin that woman right now… it may show in the match

Ralph- Zel and ryu are two veyr accomplished fighters and while hystalin is jinnai is more of an accomoplished pansy

BoB- i hear that.

Ralph- well it looks like jinnai and ryu are starting off. Ryu makes the first attack by nailing him with a quite powerful punch to the gut

BoB- but jinnai stands up and laughs very annoyingly.. as usual

Jinnai- you think you can beat me huh? ehehehhuihhhahahaha but i know something you don’t know.. i have a secret weapon GROUCHO!!

Groucho comes in

Groucho- 0`8&’.M

Jinnai- WHAT!?! what do you mean the secret weapon ran away.

GRoucho- *&m.p)0

Jinnai- you worthless pile of garbage. don’t just stand ther go fid the secret weapon..

Groucho- 7*P,a@

Jinnai- I din’t care if you have to go wee-wee just find the weapon ok?

Groucho *(8

Jinnia- honestly it’s ahrd to find good help these days.. AHHHHHHHWWWO HEy what’d you do that for

boB- ryu just kicked jinnai in teh jaw

Ryu- it’s time you shut up and start fighting

Jinnai- very well..

Ralph- he tries to tag hystalin in but it looks like she’s distracted

BoB- probably looking for that cat

Jinnai- come on hystalin tag me out i’m gonna get slaughtered in here.

Hystalin- carbunkle i will avange thee

Jinnai- later we’ve got a matc to do


Jinnai- coem on tag me out


Ralph- that’s a cool version of ryu’s patented attack… the shin shoryuken,, it seems to have taken out both jinnai and hystalin. jinnai is out cold and hystalin stands up, brushes herself off and

Hystalin- FELIX look out i;m comming for ya..!

BoB- i think it’s obvious who the winners are

Winners: Zel and Ryu

NWD and Lina Inverse v. Shinji and Kodachi

BoB- here comes the new light’s best shot at winning it all. the team of NWD and Lina inverse
Ralph= what do you mean by that comment.

BoB- they’re the only tag team that’s all new light so if they make it to the end then the new lightwill have an automatic victory

Ralph- I see.. it looks as if they’re gonna fight another new light htough.. shinji

BoB- along with that cooking class reject Kodachi… should eb an interesting fight

Ralph- uh huh.. NWD starts against Kodachi


BoB- Dave attacks Kodaci with a corkscrew drop kick to the midsection Kodachi gets up and attcks NWD with a sereis of ribbin lashes.

Ralph- Shinji is waiting outside of the ring with his EVA.. eh looks very very disturbed

BoB- as he should be he’s fighting against two new lighters

Ralph- NWD tag lina in who automaticaly nails Kodachi with her Falre Bit spell. Kodachi is hurting from that one.. she tags Shinji in who immediatly does absolutly nothing.

Shinji- how can i face my friends in combat? I don’ see how i ccould live with msyelf if i severly injure done of them or worse.. if I killed en of them

LIna- shinji!!! come one let’s go!!!

Shinji- they’re pretty powerful too.. how could they go on having killed or injured me?

Lina- don’t make me do this!!!

BoB- shinji just tagged kodachi back in


Ralph- she just threw her sword at Shinji’s shadow.. he can’t move now

Kodachi- what was that!?

Lina- just my shadow snap spell. you wana see another cool spell?

Kodachi- uhh that’s ok i uhhh.

Lina- Wind, crimson flame. Grant the power of thunder to my hand! DIGGER VOLT!”

Ralph- Kodachi was just nailed with Lina’s Digger Volt spell.. not many gte up after that one.. Kodachi fall out of the ring and

Lina- sigh SHadow SNAP!

Ralph- she lunges a daggar at the shadow both shinji and kodachi are out of the ring and can’t move… the count is up and NWD and Lianmove ot the next round!!!

BoB- good for them

Winner: NWD and Lina Inverse

Guyver and Erlos v. Tenchi and Kasumi

BoB- Al right everyone, here is what I believe to be one of the most interesting match ups yet. It is Erlos, and Guyver. And they will be fighting Tenchi Masaki, and Kasumi Tendo. I would really like to see how they get Kasumi out of the ring, or knock her out or do whatever they plan to do.
Ralph- That’s right, I don’t think that anyone has ever hit Kasumi on purpose before.

BoB- Me neither, but speak of the devil, here they come now!

(Tenchi, and Kasumi enter the ring. Tenchi is wearing his Jurai battle suit and Kasumi is wearing her typical dress)

Bob- And they enter the ring, but here comes Guyver, and Erlos!

(Guyver, and Erlos enter)

Ralph- And it looks as though Erlos will be the first one in the ring against Tenchi, as Kasumi steps out to the side.

BoB- And we await the bell here as Tenchi takes his sword, and Erlos just stands ready.


BoB- And there’s the bell! Tenchi charges at Erlos who quickly dodges his sword with almost no effort! Erlos lunges at the side of Tenchi but is knocked back by the magical blade of Jurai! Erlos moves into a battle stance and Tenchi swings twice at him, but both slashes are ducked with minimum effort on Erlos’s part.

Ralph- Tenchi just trying to keep the much larger Erlos at a distance from him with his blade, and it seems so far to be working. But I don’t see it holding for long.

BoB- Me neither Ralph. And Erlos makes a short jump back, and flips over the head of Tenchi, and Grabs him around the neck in what appears to be a sleeper hold! The blade of Tenchi’s sword vanishes as he drops it to the ground! Erlos takes Tenchi and flings him into the turnbuckle, where he falls to the ground!

Ralph- Tenchi on the ground, grabs his sword and re-charges it I guess you could say. Tenchi slashes Erlos in the mid section and sends him back! Tenchi stands back up and slashes at Erlos again. But Erlos attempts a dodge and manages only to be grazed by the blow.

BoB- Erlos Tags Guyver who leaps in over the ropes, and sends Tenchi back onto the canvas with a flying kick! Tenchi gets up only to be knocked down again by a punch from Guyver! Tenchi grabs his sword and stabs at Guyver several times but misses with every one!

Ralph- But Tenchi was able to regain his footing, and now is in a ready stance to fight with the Guyver unit.

BoB- Guyver extends his vibro blades and waits for Tenchi to attack. Tenchi now charges at Guyver with an over head swing but Guyver perries his sword with a vibro blade!

Ralph- And Tenchi’s sword is standing up to the high frequency vibrating blade of Guyver! I don’t think that that has ever been done before!

BoB- And Tenchi pulls back and swings at the chest of Guyver and connects! Guyver is sent to the ground, and he reaches back and tags Erlos! Erlos enters the ring and shoots an energy burst of some sort at Tenchi which sends him down! Tenchi staggers back to the corner and tags in Kasumi!

Ralph- This should get interesting.

BoB- Guyver who is still laying in the ring now gets up and is standing by Erlos, who tags him!

Guyver- No way, you have got to be kidding me…

Ralph- Guyver tags Erlos.

Erlos- Yeah right! Like I am going to be the one responsible for hurting Kasumi!

(Erlos tags Guyver who quickly tags him back. Erlos then re-tags Guyver, and this goes on for a few minutes)

Erlos- You will!

Guyver- No way, you will!

Erlos- Not a chance.

Kasumi- Oh my! Oh my, oh my oh my…

BoB- This is getting pretty interesting, as nothing seems to be happening. But wait look at that!

Ralph- What?

BoB- It’s Mourl! What is he doing here?

(Mourl enters the ring with a little sack on his back.)

Ralph- What could that be?

(Mourl opens the sack and sets out a small table in the center of the ring, and furnishes it with three plates, silverware for three and candles)

BoB- What the hell is this?

Kasumi- My, how sweet!

(Kasumi Erlos, and Guyver sit down, at three chairs that Mourl pulls out of the bag for them)

Ralph- And Mourl appears to be serving Beakless brand corn to them! Is this an advertisement of some sort?

BoB- All three start eating the corn. Oh my God! Erlos takes off his skull mask and has a bite of the corn and faints!!! Kasumi does as the same! Guyver is wearing a mask so he can’t take eat any though! Kasumi and Erlos are passed out in the center of the ring!

Ralph- And Guyver is the only one left awake, because Tenchi is hurt from Erlos’s burst at the side of the ring! This one is over folks!

BoB- That’s right! Guyver, and Erlos win the match. That was different. Well, Guyver and Erlos move on to the second round, against a random team, this should be another good fight to watch I think. But for now lets move on to Beowulf and Artemis, vs. Ice man and Sailor Bowser.

Winner- Guyver and Erlos

Beowulf And Artemis v. Iceman and Sailor Bowser

BoB- Well folks, we have another good fight for you here tonight. And it is Beowulf, and Artemis, vs. Ice man and Sailor Bowser. Ralph, this should be an interesting fight, because one team here is Ice man, who is in the tag team FireAnIce, and Sailor Bowser who is in the tag team AX. And to top it off, AX and FireAnIce will be fighting each other soon.
Ralph- You’re right BoB. I don’t know how much of a factor that will actually play in this fight, but it is an interesting fact to know.

BoB- Yes it is. And here come Beowulf and Artemis to the ring now! Both walk down the isle, and Artemis steps into the ring. It looks as though he will be fighting first for his team. Now here comes Ice man, and Sailor Bowser. Ice man steps into the ring for this team, and we are only moments away from the bell.


BoB- And there it is! And Both fighters charge at each other and lock up! Ice man has a firm grasp in the right arm of Artemis keeping him from drawing his magical blade while they are locked up! Ice man gets a strong foot hold and throws Artemis across the ring! Artemis gets up and Draws his blade but is hit by an ice ball from Ice man!

Ralph- Artemis falls back on the ropes still holding his sword, and Ice man charges at him and hits him with a punch to the head! Artemis drops his blade and tries to grab Ice man and stop his assault, but is unsuccessful! Ice man grabs Artemis by the shirt and hurls him into the turn buckle and launches a wave of ice at him which sends him down!

BoB- This guy is unbelievable!

Ralph- I guess so! Ice man seems to be for real, and not just Some fighter that looks good because he is taking easy fights.

BoB- Artemis rises to his hands and knees, and pulls his dagger! But it is kicked away by Ice man! Ice man picks Artemis up by the collar with one hand and punches him across the ring! And in comes Beowulf without a tag. Beowulf grabs Ice man from the back and throws him down! Ice man rises though and crushes Beowulf with a devastating uppercut, sending him back! Beowulf draws his war hammer, but is hit in the stomach by Ice man, who follows up with a series of hooks to the head and body of Beowulf!

Ralph- And Ice man goes over and tags in Sailor Bowser. Why did he do that?

BoB- Who knows. But Sailor Bowser attacks Beowulf who dodges her and counters with a trip. Sailor Bowser, jumps back to her feet and once again attacks Beowulf.

(Artemis, who has just regained some of his senses draws his dagger and throws it at Sailor Bowser)

Ralph- Oh my God! Sailor Bowser goes down, from the dagger of Artemis

BoB- It appears that she was stabbed in the lower back, and this could mean serious trouble for her!

Ralph- And Ice man jumps back in the ring and comes down on Artemis with an elbow! Artemis is hurt! Probably just as bad as Sailor Bowser though.

BoB- And Beowulf is exiting the ring!

Beowulf- (To himself) I can’ help someone who fights like that, he is an assassin, not a warrior.

(Beowulf leaves)

BoB- Ice man helps up Sailor Bowser, and removes the dagger.

Ralph- What an underhanded trick by Artemis there…

BoB- Yeah, and this fight is over, as the winners, Ice man, and Sailor Bowser exit. Sailor Bowser is being assisted by medical professionals as well.

Ralph- But what a damn fun fight to watch though.

BoB- Yeah!

Winner- Ice man, and Sailor Bowser

Fireball and Fujisawa v. Skuld and Goul-dan

BoB- Ok, here’s one of the great fights that will occur in the lethal lottery, Goul’Dan of the Underdark & Skuld, the leader of the New Light will be fighting off against Fireball, from FireAnIce & Fujisawa, also of the New Light.
Ralph- Do you think Fujisawa will be sober enough for this fight?

BoB- God only know.

Ralph- Also, previously, Devilman was supposed to team with Fujisawa, but since he attained the title of Interplanetary Champion, he was replaced with Fireball.

bob- I’m sure a lot of Devilman supports are not pleased by this, but at least they get to see their idol take home a title that he fought his ass off for… literally.

Ralph- Look in the right, Skuld & Goul’Dan are in the ring. It looks like their sharing some words between the two.

Skuld: Goul’Dan, do me a favor will ya? I’ll be the brains, you be the brawns. Did you bring your club with you?

Goul’Dan: Yes. Got club.

Skuld: Good. You take on Fujisawa while I take on Fireball.

Goul’Dan: He fire. Need ice.

Skuld: No need to worry. I brought my Blizzard Cannon. I built it myself.

Goul’Dan: Is good. We fight.

Skuld: Oh yeah, lets.

BoB- It seems the two stopped talking. Obviously, they were talking about their strageties.

Ralph- It seems so. Hey! Here comes Fireball! He… he’s dragging Fujisawa with him?

BoB- What the hell?

RAlph- It seems like Fujisawa is drunk. (No big surprise.)

Fireball: I don’t care how much sake you’ve drunk. You’re going to fight this damn fight even if I have to drag you here by your testes!

Fujisawa: Don’t lay a hand on my nuts! I’m (hiccup!) sober enough for the damn fight. (hiccup!)

BoB- Fireball & Fujisawa are in the ring.


Ralph- The fight begins! Goul’Dan is fighting off a drunken Fujisawa. At that time, Skuld is sizing up Fireball.

BoB- Fujisawa: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ralph- Fujisawa gives a sharp punch to Goul’Dan but the strike is blocked by Goul’Dan’s club. Looks like he’ll need to see the doctor for that one!

BoB- Goul’Dan pushes Fujisawa out of the way and he passes out!

Ralph- He need to stop hitting the sauce!

BoB- Damn straight!

Ralph- As for Skuld, she’s not doing anything! What’s she doing?

Fireball: Come on you twit! Fight!

Skuld: You first!

Fireball: Fine by me!

Ralph- Fireball launches a fireball at Skuld. Skuld fires some kind of device and.. WHOA! It’s some kind of ice thrower or something.

BoB- Good against the likes of Fireball.

Ralph- Goul’Dan is reading his club and… oh my! Fireball is launching an inferno at Goul’Dan! It seems that his flames has head up Goul’Dan’s club, making it too hot for Goul’Dan to hold.

Goul’Dan: AhhH! Club hot!

Fireball: You need to move faster than that!

Skuld: Forgetting someone?

BoB- Skuld fires her ice thrower and unleashes it’s ice at Fireball! Uh oh! Not good for Fireball!

Ralph- Not good indeed.

Fireball: Shit! I hate ice!

BoB- Skuld kicks the weakened Fireball in the chest, and falls.

Ralph- It looks like Skuld & Goul’Dan is the winner!

BoB- Alright!

Ralph- By the way, do you have the ten buck you owe me?

BoB- I’ll have to get back to you on that one. Why don’t we go to our next fight?

Ralph- Very well… on with the next match!

WINNERS: Skuld & Goul’Dan

MOurl and Spawn v. Midnigth Rider and Ryoga

BoB- Our next fight for you wonderful folks is the team of Mourl and Spawn Vs. Midnight Rider and Ryoga.
Ralph- This looks to be interesting! Of course, any fight with Mourl in it tends to be interesting.

BoB- True, Ralph. It remains to be seen how effective he will be in a team situation.

Ralph- I’d guess quite well, BoB. Mourl is just a beakless turkey, but he has proven to be one of the best fighters in the UCTF, and Spawn is well above average himself.

BoB- The same could probably be said of Midnight Rider… and did you see what Ryoga did to Fujisawa in his last fight? You can’t count that team out. In fact, I’d bet on them, given the chance!

Ralph- No way, BoB! Midnight Rider is at a big disadvantage. He practices and fights with Sailor Bowser, and is forced to work with Ryoga now. I’m going with Spawn and Mourl.

BoB- In any case, we’ll find out what happens soon enough. Ryoga and Midnight Rider have entered and are receiving a strong response from the crowd as Ryoga takes his place in the ring.

Ralph- Even more cheers erupt as Spawn enters… but they quiet down as the crowd realizes…. Hey! Where’s Mourl?

BoB- Knowing Mourl, he could be anywhere, Ralph.

Ralph- But this is seriously fishy! Spawn doesn’t look like himself. When did he get that chubby?

BoB- What are you talking about, Ralph? It’s just how he’s wearing his cape. In any case, Spawn has entered the ring, and we will proceed…


BoB- Ryoga jumps foreward from his corner, well above the thread of chain released by Spawn! The chains recoil, wrapping around Ryoga’s arm just as he is about to pummel Spawn! Ryoga punches anyway, but the distraction gave Spawn time to judge and dodge the blow. Spawn slams an elbow against Ryoga, who draws back and disengages himself cleanly.

Ralph- Spawn’s run foreward is intercepted by a tough kick to the face from Ryoga! That had to hurt, BoB!

BoB- And it sent Spawn back against the ropes! But he twists aside from a second kick unharmed and retreats to a corner. Ryoga looks around cluelessly for a few moments before spotting Spawn. He turns to Spawn and the two seem to be sizing each other up.

Ralph- Ryoga dodges a chain from Spawn but has moved right into a second one and is entangled! A punch from Spawn cuts Ryoga’s cheek. Spawn follows with a second punch, but Ryoga is able to shake off the chains. Ryoga and Spawn draw back and watch each other warily.

BoB- Spawn’s cape rises suddenly into the air, and from behind it… steps Mourl, who lands softly on the ring floor!

Ralph- Mourl was hiding under Spawn’s cloak! And now Midnight Rider steps into the ring to even the odds! And we’re hearing it from the crowd!

Mourl- … …………….. …………….. ….. ………………………..!….! ! ! ……….? ….!

BoB- Yikes! Did you hear that, Ralph? Mourl had some real guts to say it!

Ralph- He sure did, Bob! Ryoga turns to oppose Mourl while Midnight Rider faces off against Spawn.

BoB- Ryoga thrusts at Mourl with his umbrella! Mourl hops into the air and perches onto the shaft! Ryoga swings the umbrella wildly, but Mourl won’t let go with his claws! Ryoga throws the umbrella in frustration and Mourl jumps aside and onto the floor just before it lands!

Ralph- Meanwhile, Midnight rider has engaged Spawn! Midnight Rider’s kick is deflected by Spawn! Spawn leaps out of the ring and threads a chain through the arena ropes. He jumps back in and outruns a confused Midnight Rider to the other end of the ring, the chain lengthening with each step.

BoB- Mourl hops back and slips under the chain. The larger Ryoga is forced to jump the line, and he does so…

Ralph- But Spawn is prepared and picks him from the air! He catches Ryoga by the leg, spins once, and throws Ryoga from the ring! I wonder if Spawn and Mourl had that planned?

BoB- I don’t know, Ralph, but Midnight Rider is in a desperate situation. He reaches down and snatches Mourl by the head! He lifts Mourl from the ring and–

Ralph- Mourl slips out! But how? Holy bastard!

BoB- There’s an icky, thick residue on Midnight Rider’s hand! He tries to wipe it with the opposite hand and the hands stick together! He scrapes the hands against the nearest turnbuckle frantically, but they only become stuck to that!

Ralph- That’s it! Mourl wore a sticky-dough Mourl mask!

BoB- You’re right, Ralph! Mourl played the “wear a sticky-dough Mourl mask” trick and was able to slip away from Midnight Rider! That was a classic, folks! And now Midnight Rider has his hands stuck together!

Ralph- I wonder why Mourl’s mask didn’t get stuck in Spawn’s cape?

BoB- You’ll have to keep wondering, Ralph. But look! Ryoga returned to the ring! Unfortunately for him, Spawn and Mourl both await! Mourl is tilting his head from side to side. Ryoga lunges at Spawn, who sidesteps as Mourl leaps onto Ryoga’s back and embeds a sharp talon into Ryoga! Spawn proceeds to apply a kick to Ryoga’s shoulder! Ryoga falls foreward and Spawn catches him at the knees!

Ralph- Spawn holding Ryoga from below and Mourl holding him from above, the turkey and hell- spawn-thing dump Ryoga out of the ring again!

BoB- And Ryoga is still down! It looks like… No! He’s getting up! Ryoga got up and… No! He’s going the wrong way! he just bumped into the beer man


Ralph- Ryoga was just replaced by a cute little pig. Who is picke dup by the beer guy and throw back into the ring where it lands on spawns face and starts clawing away at it wildly. Spawn falls backwords out of the ring and lands on his head, knocking him out..

BoB- I owuldhave thought for sure that MOurl and Midnight rider had this one beat

Ralph- they did.. but it seems spawn is out.. midnight rider thrust his praying hands at mourl in a double hand punch knocking him to the other side of the ring.

Mourl- ………………………!………………………..?…………………………….!>………………!……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….?…………….!

BoB- so true.. it seems that mourl and spawna may have been outdone this time. tis a pitty i thought teh would have won

Ralph- it just goes to show you.. never underestimate the powers of a cutelittle flying pig

boB- i won’t

Winners: Ryoga and Midnight Rider

BoB- it looks like we’r ealomots out of time.. we’ll have to move to our affilate staion here hold on.

Duncan and Hunter D v. naga and Tessai

BoB-Now we have another grand fight to look after. We have Naga & Tessai of the Underdark. They wil be going against Duncan McCould & Vampire Hunter D, two very worthy swordsmen.
Ralph- Also, on a side note, Naga is a member of a newly formed tag team… the Black Bitches.

BoB-Who’s her partner?

Ralph- Our favorite black paladin.. Hystalin.

BoB- Her?

Ralph- Uh huh!

BoB- Sounds good to me.

Ralph- Very well on with the fight.

bob- Naga & Tessai are in the right. It looks like Tessai healed well from that attack from Zelgadis. Shall we show a replay?

(Replay begins)

Ralph- Tessai throws his dual-edged blade at Zelgadis. He does not move.. and he catches it! What finesse!

Tessai: Hey! Give that back!

Zelgadis: Gladly!

BoB- Zelgadis throws Tessai’s weapon back at Tessai. Oh my! It cut off Tessai’s hand!

(Replay finishes)

Ralph- Good. Now that you’ve bored us with that fu*king replay, shall we get on with the match?

BoB- Shut up!

Ralph- What the hell. We see Naga the Serpent entering the right. She’s with Tessai who is not very far behind.

BoB- They converse with each other.

Tessai: So who are we up against Naga?

Naga: We’re up against a couple of swordsmen. Vampire Hunter D & the Highlander.

Tessai: Those two?

Naga: Uh-huh.

Tessai: I’d like to cleave the Highlander, but D? Isn’t he a supporter?

Naga: Yeah, just don’t bang him up too much… that’s my job. HAHAHAHAHAHAHaHaHAHAHaHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ralph- They finish talking and awaiting their opponents. Here comes the Highlander & Vampire Hunter D.

BoB- D’s hand: Be careful with the golem the Black Bitch. They’re who we’re supporting.

D: I know that.

Highlander: D? Are you finished talking to your hand.

D’s hand: Hey! He’s nothing without me!

D: I’m afraid he has a point there.

Highlander: Oh what the hell…


BoB-The fight begins. D & the Highlander are readying their swords. Hey’s who’s that in the crowd?

Ralph- It looks like.. yeah! It’s Hystalin! I wonder what is she saying?

Hystalin: Go get them Naga!!!!

BoB- It looks like Hyst is giving Naga some mourl support. Good thing too.

Ralph- Tessai throws his blade. What? I don’t believe it! It’s snapped Vampire Hunter D & Highlander’s swords. Not very good.

Tessai: Naga! Quick! Use your sword.

Naga: No fu*king way! I never use my sword.

Tessai: Then why the hell do you carry it then?

Naga: It’s just for show! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

BoB- Naga begins chanting a spell. I wonder what she’s doing?

Naga: Deliver oh wind into my hand… the power of lightning into my hand… GIGAVOLT!!!!!!

Ralph- Naga shoots the Gigavolt spell at D & the Highlander! Ooh! That does not bode well.

BoB-Look! They’re out cold!

Ralph- Well I’ll be damned to hell on a cold december morning after Santa coems and gives me a nice sloppy blo** job

BoB- yah ok. It looks like they’re not coming up! Naga & Tessai are the winners!

Naga: The gigavolt spell was so easy! Those two didn’t know what hurt them!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHH!!!!!!

BoB- It looks like Naga’s laughing is shattering some light fixtures.


Ralph-It looks like the crowd told Naga to stop laughing.

BoB- Good thing too. My ears were about to bleed.

Ralph- Whew! That was a close one!

Winner: Naga & Tessai BoB- and now a veyr important announcemnt from our president

Tarot- Thank Bob.. tonight I have two announements the first is who will be facing wo next round. now rememebrt hese are rendomly drawn. Lina and NWD will face Sailor Bowser and Iceman

Guyver and Erlos will face Ryoga and Midnight Rider

Naga and tessai will face Xiahau and Ukyo

an finally Zel and Ryu will face Goul’dan and Skuld

Also this thursday will be two additional matches AX will face Fire n ice and, just because i say so BoB and Ralph will fight each other.. ya dig?

My next announcement will be about that cure little kitty cat that’s been killing things. I have organizeda strike force that includes the following people, Ifurita, Shayla Shayla, Devilman, Hystalin, Guyver, Beowulf, Ryoga and uhh this can’t be right.. and uh Charleston.. anyway thats’ the strike force the winner of this tourney, if not already in teh striekorce will join it. Thank you taht is all


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