Aisha Clan Clan vs. Marcella | Nathaniel Wystan vs. Switch | SSS vs. Melvic Lillith | Bryan Amethyst vs. Ethan Rice | Suicide vs. Leona | SSS vs. Gene Starwind | Countdown’s Title Coronation

*The screen comes to life, panning along the dirtied concrete of a sidewalk. It’s night, and a few clouds of vapor rise from the streets. The lower half of a brick wall is seen, on which appears the shadow of a man. His feet come into the shot, walking with the camera. He stops, and the shot pans upward to see a large plate-glass window with some sort of advertisement on it. The only word visible, however, is ‘Competition.’ A few guitar riffs are heard. The shot switches to that of an aluminum bat slowly being raised, the UCTF logo emblazoned on the shaft. A close-up on the pair of hands, tightening their grip on the bat’s handle. Again the shot changes to behind the man, swinging the bat into the window. Just as the bat makes contact, the percussion kicks in. Shards of glass fly everywhere in slow motion, each reflecting the faces of the UCTF roster. We watch the shards for a moment, before a visible shockwave goes flying through the cloud, the store, and blowing a hole through the back wall to the ally beyond.

Vapor pours over the asphalt, bright red and blue beams strafes through the mist as police sirens are heard from far off. 6 young men are highlighted from behind by strobe lights, as the camera pulls back, then zooms in on Epic and Shifty, aka Bret Mazur and Seth Brooks Binzer of Crazy Town, who shove their faces into the camera.*

You know that bitch baby, he’s talking shit about our clique
But he don’t know Crazy, you see the writing on my dick

*Shots of Pink Tsunami are projected onto the alleyway’s brick wall, posing, with Kunoi sneering at the audience.*

You know that trick, Tracy
Yeah, she’s making me sick

*A trashcan gets KICKED into the air, and a slow-motion shot of the trashcan’s lid follows, Hystalin powering up projected on the inside.*

Living that life–we used to do the same shit

*Vegeta appears in between Epic and Shifty, decked out in a full-on suit. He POWERS THE HELL UP, blowing all the fog out of the alleyway as colored lights and more strobes start flashing.*

Shit gets drastic, some kids need help–some need their ass kicked

And some would never learn to earn their own way

*The screen switches to scratchy replays of SSS vs Yugo in the 200 lightbulb match, Ed the Janitor getting nailed by the Westchester Bomb, Sasa Dark spitting into a microphone, and then Johnny Cockring waving around a number of papers.*

Living off their daddy, had he not been rich
They’d be broker than a joke and forced to switch

*Aisha gets the spotlight now, balling up and hitting a Ctarl Roll Attack on somebody.*

You gotta change your tune or change your pitch
Because life ain’t easy man, life’s a bitch!

*It switches to an overhead shot of Crazy Town, the members wailing on their instruments, as a giant image William Clarke projects downward onto the street, SNAPPING and flying into a 540.*

Shit is harder than hard about as hard can get
Keep on going were you’re headed you’s alive to regret it

*A low-to-the-ground shot is shaken by a two pairs of steel-toed books slamming into the asphalt right in front of the camera. Epic and Shifty bend down, getting into the camera again.*

Yes it hurts to face the truth and realize
That the world’s got your neck in a noose

*An angled view of Gene Starwind staring into the mirror, before grimacing and slamming his fist into the glass.*

If things ain’t like they ought to be
You’ve got to think fast
The aftermath of your actions whiplash.

*A tandem shot of every fighter letting loose with their trademark attack, as the screen shatters, the pieces falling away to show another up-in-the-air view of Crazy Town. The camera zooms down, images of each of the Title Belts superimposed on either side, until finally the PLATINUM Grand Title Belt appears.*

Think fast


*"UCTF: Massacre" starts off with a HUGE pyro-technical explosion from the stage that trails through the entire Open Air Arena! As the new Massacre theme song "Think Fast" thumps through the PA system, the cameras pan through showing all of the UCTF Screaming Fans!*

Bob: Fresh off the Heels of UCTF: On Your Computer, This is UCTF: Massacre! I am Robert Hinden, and along side Ralph Gerrard!
Ralph: That was one hell of a Pay Per View.. I mean Countdown beat Andre Tau for the Anime Championship, We got a new Grand Champion in William Clarke and the best of all in my opinion.. YOU finally shut up SSS and got your Job back!
Bob: yeah well it was a great night for me indeed..

*Suddenly, "Watch Who U Beef Wit" Canibus begins playing over the sound system, and the crowd pops HUGE when The NEW UCTF GRAND CHAMPION William Clarke makes way onto the stage with the Platinum Grand Championship wrapped around his waist, and the Tag, World and Intergalactic belts hanging across each of his shoulders!*

Bob: And it looks like we’re starting off tonight’s show with the NEW UCTF Grand Champion!
Ralph: I thought that tournament would never end Bob.
Bob: A lot of people didn’t!

*The Champion climbs into the ring and holds all three titles into the air to a HUGE ovation from the crowd! Flash Photography runs amuck!*

Bob: William Clarke made HISTORY at On Your Computer! By winning the tournament, he has become not only the new Grand Champion, but the FIRST UCTF superstar to ever EVER attain Grand Slam Status! He has held every singles title the league’s had to offer including The Dustmaster, Anime Title, World Title, The Combined Interplanetary and Intergalactic Title and now, the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting League’s GRAND Championship, all this while holding onto that Tag Team Title belt you see hanging on his shoulder! There isn’t a damn soul who can say the same! We may be very well staring at the best this league has EVER seen!

Ralph: >_< Holy Crap… you’re REALLY back, dude.

Bob: hell yeah I am e_e

*We go back to the ring where William has all four belts stacked on one shoulder, with a microphone in the other hand! However, before he can start talking..*


Ralph: Man, they LOVE this kid!

*Allowing the fans to calm down.. William, not ever being one for words tries to speak..*

William: …. ya know. If anyone came up to me on Saturday, September 8th 2001 and told me that in two years and two months exactly, I would be standing in the middle of this ring as the UCTF Grand Champion, I would have probably laughed…. thrown up, or both.

Ralph: Oh boy, let’s try not to bring up that Will vs. NNNN match
Bob: At least it wasn’t as disastrous as The "Debut of 3 Live Crew"
Ralph: … yeah…

*William takes a look at the title that reads "UCTF Grand Champion – William Clarke"

William: But here I am.. standing here on the top of the mountain in the UCTF. I just wanted to come out here and say.. You and I, fans of the UCTF.. we’ve had our ups and downs through my entire career. You cheered me during my fueds with Ethan Rice, Seth Conway, Kunoi Ishigami.. You booed me during my "stint" with Pink Tsunami, and when I lost my temper just a few weeks ago in an interview segment with Yugo Ogami. But Either way, I know in my heart of hearts that I’ve entertained you all. And I would have NEVER been able to achieve this much success without you fans sitting out there in the audience, and everyone sitting at home watching on Television.

*The crowd gives a HUGE pop to this and begin the chant once again!*


Ralph: What did THEY do? He was the one kicking everyone’s ass!
Bob: Ralph, shutup.

William: I’m sorry, I’m was never one to come out here and cut a five star promo.. what I’m trying to say is, from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank all of you for making me who I am toda–

*Before William can deliver his heart felt thank you to the fans of the UCTF, "Oasis" by Gackt kicks up! That can only mean one thing.. one really BAAAD thing.. That’s right. Vegeta, our loving President of the UCTF makes his way from the back, along side the towering former TWO Time Intergalactic Champion, Raven Darc! William and Raven have met several times before, and trust me, there’s no love lost between either of two!*

Bob: What the heck is this!?!?
Ralph: You’re asking me?! I don’t even know what the line up is for tonight!

*Vegeta stays out in the aisle-way with a microphone in his hand..*

Vegeta: I apologize for interrupting you Mr. Clarke. But I found this to be the best opportunity to come out here and address the fans on a number of issues that this league has been facing over the last few months…

Bob: What?! This is HIS show! He could have come out anytime he wanted to, to make these announcements!
Ralph: I think he did Bobby!
Bob: You know what I mean! e_e He’s interrupting someone who never asks for mic time! Someone who just won the most coveted prize we have!

Vegeta: You see, back on April 1st 2003 we had an event which involved Matt Hardy, Crash Holly (RIP) and Shannon Moore.. a certain game show.. and a HORSE transpire on stage. The FCC decided that it was too much, and after years of Milk and Honey, VG matches, BLANK on a pole matches.. they had had just TOO much of the UCTF.. and immediately pulled us from television. It took months, lots of hard work, and threatening of bodily harm, but I was able to get the UCTF back on their regular time spot, and for that, you can thank me later. The UCTF is back and isn’t going anywhere. e_e

Ralph: See how much of a generous president he is?? THAT explains why I was laid off for freaking ever!
Bob: yeah. ~_~. But I think he did it for his own financial gain and not for the fans.

Vegeta: however, because of that leave of abscense, We’ve had to consolidate two of our biggest Pay Per Views.. Usually we have two separate pay per views.. one being our Annual Only The Strong Event…

*The crowd pops HUGE for this..*

Vegeta: And secondly.. Our Biggest Pay Per View of the year.. Cyberslam.


Vegeta: Because of our time restraints.. this year, Cyberslam will also have our Yearly Only The Strong Competition. Right now, it looks like we’ll only be having our Men’s division, seeing as that all of our female competitors have ran away from active competition, but we will have that in four weeks none the less and will more than likely be our final PPV of the year.

Ralph: WHAT DID I DO?!!?

Vegeta: Now.. for another piece of business. William. Clarke.

Bob: Ok, HERE WE GO!
Ralph: …

Vegeta: Let me take this opportunity to congratulate you on your victory. However… as I did some research over the last week.. I discovered … disturbing facts.

Bob: Oh great.. what’s he talking about..

Vegeta: Don’t think I don’t know about the "personal" problems you’ve been having over the last year William. Don’t think I don’t know you’ve had to seek counseling for the extreme "stress" you’ve been going through. Truth be told.. if I had known about your "condition" I would have never allowed you to fight against Gene in the finals last week at On Your Computer.. I’m NOT the type of guy who pushes his workers around and force them to fight even when they’re on the verge of a mental break down!

Bob: That’s BULLSHIT! He’s the EXACT type of guy who’d do that!
Ralph: Bob, what is he saying here, he’s not going to strip William of the..
Bob: I hope not.

William: …

Vegeta: No need to look at me that way William. I’m certainly not going to strip you of the Grand Championship Title.

Bob: whew…

Vegeta: But in no way you are in ANY shape to handle the work load of being FOUR champions at one time! Therefore.. William Clarke, I am here by stripping you of The UCTF World Championship, AND The UCTF Intergalactic Championship Titles! Raven.

Crowd: O_O… BOOO!!!

Bob: WHAT?!
Ralph: oh.. oh that’s gotta suck.
Bob: Of course that sucks! We all know what William’s capable of in the UCTF! If anyone can defend all of these titles, it would be HIM to do it! I think… I think the president is just JEALOUS!
Ralph: o_o!
Bob: THAT’S RIGHT. Jealous of the success this kid has gained in this federation! Jealous that even HE’S never done so much and he’s punishing our Grand Champion for it!
Ralph: Hey dude.. you beat SSS… you can’t beat a saiyan, shutup!
Bob: Well this isn’t Cuba or Iraq, I can say what I want! >=\

*Raven steps into the squared circle and slowly approaches William, who has a smile on his face. They stand off for a few seconds as the fans scream out obscenities for William to KILL the demon’s ass right then in there. However, William wants no trouble, and slowly hands over his World and Intergalactic titles to some MASSIVE heel heat! Raven walks backwards, and climbs out of the ring.*

Vegeta: I have already decided that TWO of tonight’s matches will determine these respective titles. The first match will be for the World Title involving a returning superstar who’s come back with a new attitude.. someone who’s even put my protégé on his ass TWICE since returning. And that would be Ethan Rice, facing off against someone who impressed me at the last Battle Royale.. Bryan Amethyst!

Bob: Bryan and Ethan will be for the WORLD TITLE now?!
Ralph: man, He’s making some serious executive decisions tonight!

Vegeta: And the second being for the Intergalactic Championship. One desperately wants to redeem herself for losing to the Fluke of the Universe, and the second, being the 2002 UCTF Strong Man. Seth "Suicide" Conway vs. Leona!

*The crowd pops HUGE for this! Not only is their american boy Suicide going for a title tonight, but the match is against two people who are in the very same STABLE!*

Vegeta: And William.. as far as the Grand Title goes.. Jeice was right. We’re above the Gold Standard. So why should you have to defend that title on FREE Television? That’s why I have taken it among myself to make the Grand Championship a.. PAY PER VIEW ONLY TITLE. Because of that AND Suicide fighting tonight.. I am giving YOU.. the NIGHT OFF!

*oh yeah.. the crowd is now SEETHING with Anger over that one!*

William: ~_~

Ralph: Pay Per View Only?! Holy Crap!
Bob: He knows William is a fighting champion! He knows that William would defend that title 24 hours a day if he wants to! What is he doing?!!?

Vegeta: Thank of it as a favor William! I know you’ve been going through a lot, and you NEED some time off! Go home and prepare for Cyberslam.. because I’ve already picked an opponent for you at the event. Someone who convinced me he was cheated twice out of the Grand Championship tournament, someone who’s wanted to put his hands on you since you stepped foot in the UCTF! And That man is…

….*tckt* *tckt* *tckt* *tckt*…..

*"Testing" starts BLARING over the speakers, drawing MASSIVE amounts of heel heat from the crowd! Shawn comes down to the ring in his street clothes of REALLY baggy jeans, and a blue tank top with his Superman style "S3" logo on it! Around his waist he has the Swordmaster title, and in one hand, he has a four-foot long lighttube!*

Ralph: I don’t believe this!
Bob: YEAH! I beat him at On Your Computer!!! >=| What’s HE doing getting a shot??

*As Shawn passes by Vegeta, he gives him a smirk, and a nod! But, as he passes Raven, he gives him a shove with his shoulder!*

Raven: e_e!

SSS: e_e…………….

*Shawn then slides into the ring, taking the mic from a crew member! It’s just him and William in the ring!*

Will: >=|…..

Shawn: e_e….

*Shawn sets the lighttube down on the ground, almost like he’s using it as a cane!*

Shawn: ….. What’s up William?

Will: e_e….

Shawn: *points with lighttube* Nice belt you got there.

Will: e_e……….

*Shawn pauses to give William a glare, and gets closer to him*

Shawn: But I need you to tell me something, William. DO YOU REALLY THINK you did something by beating Gene Starwind? DO YOU really think that Gene Starwind vs William Clarke is an approriate end to a nearly NINE MONTH PLUS Grand Title Tournament!?

*The crowd is booing like CRAZY at Shawn, but William isn’t moving an INCH*

Shawn: YOU knew, I knew, this WHOLE DAMN CROWD knew that Gene Starwind didn’t fucking belong in the finals of that tournament!! We ALL saw Gene cheat his way to the finals, AND he cheated against YOU!

*Shawn’s pulling MAJOR heat from the crowd!*

Shawn: OH, come on!! Don’t act surprised!! You all agree with me, you just don’t want to admit it!!

Crowd: o_o……

Shawn: e_e…. at any rate… William… TONIGHT, I’m going to prove that beating Gene Starwind is NOTHING. I went to Vegeta, who ALREADY had me booked against Melvic tonight, and asked him to book me against Gene!

Bob: what?!?
Ralph: HE asked for it!?

Shawn: That’s right, William!! You think you’re hot shit!? I’ll do what YOU did, and I’ll do you one BETTER. Because tonight… my match against Gene…

*He holds up the lighttube, looking at it, then looks back at Will*

Shawn: …will be an Electrified Lighttubes Match e_e

Crowd: o_o!!!! *POPS!*

Will: o_o…

Shawn: Yeah… boards with THESE things *holds up lighttube* on them, and the lighttubes LIT UP. >=|

Ralph: What’s he trying to prove?!
Bob: That he likes to get killed?

Shawn: I’ll show you tonight, William… I’ll show you that I can beat Melvic, AND Gene… and at Cyberslam….

*He gets in close to William!*

Shawn: …I’ll show you that I can beat you, William. I’ll show you that if I would’ve been in that tournament… you wouldn’t have even TOUCHED that belt.

*Shawn and William both stare each other down, before Shawn turns, and slides out of the ring! As he’s walking, he tosses the lighttube over the top rope at William!*

Will: >=|!!!


*William then just BUSTS out a thrust kick that shatters the lighttube in mid-air! As the shards fly into the aisle, Shawn gives him a cocky golf applause and walks to the back while "Testing" blares through the sound system!*

Ralph: This is ass backwards!

Bob: I KNOW! William gets two titles stripped from him, gets the night off, and can only defend on pay per views, where as SSS loses to ME and gets a title shot!?! Never the less, William Clarke, SSS in one of the most anticipated matches EVER. This is two years in the making folks, and it’s at Cyberslam! We’ll be right back with our first match!


"Can you smell what the N.U.R. is Cookin?!"

AEW Extreme is invading houses worldwide! Brand new action figures featuring your FAVORITE AEW superstars!


Wiegraf, Vormav, and all your other AEW favorites return! But this time they’ve got NEW ass-kicking moves!

*A kid is shown executing some of Wiegraf’s most DEVESTATING moves on AEW EXTREME Vormav, using the new ASS-KICKING features of the new AEW EXTREME Wiegraf!*

Available wherever toys are sold!

*Vormav and Wiegraf figures sold seperatly*

Vormav: AND WE’RE……………OUT!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your opening match here on our GLORIOUS return to Saturday nights!!!

Crowd: *HUGE POP!!!*

Arzie: Introducting first… From the Ctarl-Ctarl Empire…. weighing in at 120 pounds… here is AISHAAAAA CLAN CLANNN!!!!!

*"Midnight Mountain" is keyed up, drawing some heel heat from the crowd, as Aisha makes her way down to the ring! She has a slightly pissed look on her face, and yells at a few fans on her way down to the ring!*

Bob: Aisha, not exactly on the fan’s good side!

Ralph: Well, she cheated to help Gene win against Dan, AND against William, so of COURSE she’s gonna get shit on!

*She slides into the ring, STILL yelling at people!*

Arzie: And her opponent… Hailing from Manchester England… weighing in 106 pounds… THE HOLY WARRIOR MARCELLA GRACE!!!

*"Let Me Be Your Armor" starts up, drawing HUGE pops, especially from the guys! Marcella makes her way down to the ring, and slides in! Aisha, though, doesn’t even let her get up, and is RIGHT on her!*

Aisha Clan-Clan vs Marcella Grace


Bob: And Aisha NOT waiting to start this!

*She stomps away at Marcella, then YANKS her up, tossing her sloppily into the corner! She WAILS away on Marcella, and LEAPS with a dropkick to the face! She flips back with it, then pounces on Marcella, punching away!*


*Marcella, though, manages to throw Aisha off of her, and Aisha goes BOUNCING to the mat! Aisha recovers, and springs to her feet, but walks RIGHT into a thrust kick from Marcella! Aisha practically FLIPS from it, and lands on her side!*

Bob: And Marcella fighting back here!

Ralph: Quick action from both women here!

*Marcella then STOMPS on Aisha’s back, grinding her heel into the small of her back! Aisha wrangles free, but Marcella just gives her a STIFF kick to the side, sending her rolling to the outside! Marcella slides out, giving chase as Aisha tries to pull herself up by the guardrail!*

Marcella: >=|!!

*Marcella picks up Aisha on her shoulder, then TOSSES her off, having her land NECK first on the guardrail!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!!

*Aisha rolls over, holding her neck! Marcella hoists her up, and whips her HARD into the guardrail! She even grabs Aisha by the head, and SLAMS her into it!*

Ralph: Aisha getting a BEATING here on the outside!

*Marcella gives Aisha a HARSH chop across the chest, before grabbing her to throw her back into the ring! But, Aisha RUNS up the apron, flips in mid-air, and CONNECTS with a dropkick to Marcella’s head, sending her FLIPPING over the guardrail and into the first row!*

Bob: WHOA!! o_o

Ralph: Where did THAT come from!?!?!

*Aisha takes a second to collect herself, then LEAPS right back up onto the apron! She jumps up onto the top rope, and bounces off, FLYING into the crowd, and onto Marcella!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!!!

Bob: OH MY GOD!!!

*The two go CRASHING into at LEAST the sixth row! Both are down, with fans all around them!*


*Both of them struggle to get up, but Marcella manages to get the upper hand! She throws Aisha HARD forward, and she goes crashing THROUGH the guardrail, and sprawled out on the floor! Marcella shakes her head, makes her way through the crowd, and throws Aisha into the ring!*

Marcella: e_e…..

*She then unsheathes her Rapier, and jumps at Aisha! Aisha, though, bares her claws, and manages to deflect Marcella’s swings with them! Marcells goes for a thrust, but Aisha LEAPS over it, and in doing so, wraps her legs around her neck, and hurricanranas her to the mat!*

Marcella: >_< !!!

Aisha: >:|!!!

*Aisha jumps UP onto the top rope and leaps off with a 450 splash! She covers!*

Ref: 1!….2!….

*But Marcella kicks out! Aisha doesn’t waste time, though, and picks up Marcella! Holding Marcella in front of her, Aisha runs UP the turnbuckle, and moonsaults off, slamming her to the mat!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!

Bob: HUGE show of strength AND agility by Aisha!

*Aisha stays on for the cover!*

Ref: 1!…. 2!….

*But Marcella kicks out AGAIN! Frustrated, Aisha picks up Marcella’s head, and SLAMS it down onto the mat!*

Aisha: e_e!!!

*Aisha puts Marcella in a sitting position, then grabs her from behind! Using her claws, she DIGS into Marcella’s forehead!*


Marcella: AAUUGHHH!!!!!! X____X!!

Ralph: Oh my GOD!!

*Aisha throws Marcella down to the mat, who is now bleeding PROFUSELY from her forehead! Aisha picks her up, and throws her into the ropes! He grabs Marcella, and gives her an overhead suplex! As Marcella bounces off the mat, blood goes FLYING and splattering all over the mat!*

Bob: This is just getting SICK now! X_X

*Aisha, smirking, picks up Marcella, and hoists her up into a vertical suplex! She HOLDS her up in the air for a good TWENTY seconds, before bringing her down into a brainbuster on the mat!*


Crowd: OOOHH!!

*Aisha floats over, and covers!*

Ref: 1!…. 2!….

*KICKOUT!!! Aisha is PISSED now! She goes over, yells at the ref a bit, then picks up Marcella again! She picks her up onto her shoulders in a fireman’s carry, points to the turnbuckle, and starts to climb!*

Bob: What’s she doing!?

*Aisha gets up on the top, and goes to leap off with a Death Valley Driver! And when I say leap off, I mean she LEAPS off! Like, at LEAST 15 feet into the air!*


*But, in mid-air, Marcella starts to move! She maneuvers herself so that she’s got Aisha’s head cradled!*



*Marcella lands FLAT on her face, but Aisha lands on her HEAD. Marcella had managed to reverse the DVD into a reverse flip SST! The crowd EXPLODES!!*



Ralph: AISHA IS DEAD!!! >=|!!!

*Marcella, using what little strength she has left, covers!*

Ref: 1!…. 2!….. 3!!!!


Crowd: *HUGE POP!!!*



*Marcella, wearing the "crimson mask" raises her hand in victory, before rolling out of the ring and staggering to the back!*

WINNER: Marcella Grace

*As EMTs help the catgirl return to her locker room, "Epic" by Faith No More is keyed up, drawing a mild amount of heel heat from the crowd, as Christina Callad makes her way out from the back and up to the commentary booth!*

Bob: And Ladies and Gentlemen… we’re being joined for this match by the proclaimed "Queen of Independendent Wrestling", Christina Callad!

Christina: *adjusts headset* Thank you SO much for having me here, Bobby Boy! ^_^

Ralph: Hey I a-

Christina: *glares at Ralph* e_e If it’s about my chest, I don’t wanna hear it. We ARE twenty feet up, Ralph.

Ralph: …..I’ll be quiet.

*Arzie climbs into the ring*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing first… hailing from "The Normal Suburbs of the Normal City of America…." weighing in at anywhere from 140 to 725 FUCKIN’ pounds…. THE SHAPE SHIFTING, GENDER SWITCHING "average teenager" ….. NATHAIEL WYSTAN!!!

*Nathaniel comes out to some generic rock song or whatever, to a mild pop from the crowd*

Bob: So, uh… Christina… What brings you here for this match?

Christina: I’m here to observe Switch’s match here tonight. After my match against her at On Your Computer, I wanna keep an eye on her and see if my win over her was a fluke or not!

Ralph: … or you just want to watch her get pummeled.

Christina: Yeah, that too. ^_^

*As Nathaniel slides into the ring…*

Arzie: And His opponent…. you can find her at your local dance club on the weekends… weighing in at 135 pounds…. HERE IS SWITCH AKAISUKOOOO!!!


*HUGE pop ensues, as Switch makes her way down to the ring, fully decked out like a NYC punk rocker! She’s got on some black and white striped socks, Doc Martein boots, black skirt, and a fishnet top over a sleeveless white baby t-shirt!*

Ralph: HELL-O!!!

Christina: *psssh* Show off. =\

*Switch waves to the crowd, and slides into the ring!*


Switch Akaisuko vs Nathaniel Wystan

*Switch, STILL soaking in the cheers from the crowd, turns to wave as Nathaniel runs, and attacks her from behind! Switch, though, manages to recover quickly, and starts swinging back at him, cutting off his punches!*

Bob: So… Christina… having been in the ring with Switch, what do you think Nathaniel’s chances are against her?

Christina: Well… considering how new these two are to the ring… hm…

Bob: *short pause* Well? o_o

Christina: …I give this match three minutes before it becomes a series of bitchslaps and low blows.

Ralph: LOL!!

**ahem* Anyways… Switch manages to catch one of Nathaniel’s punches, and deflects it, then flowing with the move, and ramming her shoulder into his gut! Nathaniel goes down, and Switch bounces off the ropes, and does a 450 standing splash onto Nathaniel!*

Bob: Whoa! Big move early on by Switch!

Christina: She needs to watch herself. While Amazing Red might be able to get away with flipping like that, she’ll just tire herself out!

Ralph: …..who? o_O

*Switch covers Nathaniel, but Nathaniel kicks out at 1! Switch gets up to her feet, but gets tripped up by Nathaniel, and he drops a quick elbow on her! Switch rolls to her feet, but Nathaniel is right on her with a leaping dropkick! Switch is backed into the corner, and Nathaniel goes for a charging spear! Switch, though, rolls over his back, and Nathaniel JUST stops short of hitting the ringpost!*

Nathaniel: O_O!!… *whew* ^_^


*Switch, though, gets a running start, and dropkicks Nathaniel RIGHT in the ass, sending him shoulder-first into the post!*

Christina: See, right there, a rookie mistake by Nathaniel! He needs to be more aware in the ring, instead of just staggering around like he’s Ric Blade with a bad knee!

Ralph: …… who the hell are you talking about!? >=|

*Switch pulls Nathaniel out of the corner, and whips him into the ropes! She does a split to duck under him, and as he bounces off the other ropes, she catches him with her legs, sending him over her head, and landing on the mat!*

Nathaniel: >_< !

*Switch pulls him up by his hair, and delivers a harsh punch to his forehead! Nathaniel, dazed, staggers back, and Switch wings him into the ropes! She tries to do a spin-kick to him, but Nathaniel actually dives FOR her other leg, and takes it out from under her!*

Switch: ACK!!!

*Switch falls RIGHT on her face! Nathaniel holds onto the leg, and gets a running start, and leaps through the ropes! He lands on the floor, and SLAMS her leg, bending it over the ring apron!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!

Christina: Now THAT’S smart wrestling!! Take out her legs so that she can’t stand!

Bob: Switch is down, and her knee looks in bad shape!

*Switch holds her knee in pain, as Nathaniel slides in, and drives his fist into Switch’s knee! Switch grunts in pain, then starts YELLING out as Nathaniel starts inscreasing the mass in his fist, creating more and more pressure on Switch’s knee!*


*Switch struggles, and manages to shove off Nathaniel! Nathaniel, though, runs, jumps, and shifting the mass into his back, and landing a senton RIGHT on Switch’s knee!*

Crowd: OOOHH!!!

Christina: That must be a good 300 or so pounds dropping right on Switch’s already busted knee! That’s like having Iceberg drop a leg on you!


*Nathaniel rolls off of her, and makes a cover!*

Ref: 1!… 2!….*KICKOUT*

*Switch JUST manages to kick out! Nathaniel, frustrated, whips Switch into the ropes, and prepares for a HEAVY-ass clothesline! But just as she bounces off…*

Switch: HAA!!!


Crowd: OOOHHH!!!

*Switch makes a DIVING blow, and smacks Nathaniel RIGHT in the chest with a palm strike, sending him FLYING back, and into the ref! The ref ends up being sandwiched between Nathaniel’s heavy-ass body and the turnbuckle!!*

Ref: X_X!!!

*Okay, if it was Glen Sanchos, he MIGHT’VE gotten up, but this ref is a BITCH-ASS ref, and is OUT! Nathaniel is down on the ground, and is trying to pick him up while Switch is leaning against the ropes, panting!*


Bob: Wha, HEY!!!

*Christina THROWS down her headset, SLIDES down the commentator’s booth, and SPRINTS down to the ring! Switch doesn’t even see her coming, and Christina LEAPS up and lands on the apron next to her! She grabs Switch from behind, and hoists her up onto her shoulders, with her arm across her throat!!*

Bob: Oh my…

Ralph: NO!!! THE KITTIES!!!


*Christina LEAPS off the apron with a Cutthroat Suplex more commonly known as the "Mark Out"!! Switch lands RIGHT on her neck and head, and is ASS out!! Christina kips up to her feet, and just CHUCKS Switch’s unconcious body into the ring!*


*Right as Switch is thrown in, Nathaniel’s gotten the ref revived! He goes over, sees Switch down, and covers!*

Ref: 1!….2!…..3!!!


*The crowd goes APESHIT with boos aimed at Christina! Christina, standing in the aisle, is only smirking as she walked to the back!*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner of the match…. NATHANIEL WYSTAN!!!

Winner: Nathaniel

Crowd: *chanting* BULL-SHIT!!! BULL-SHIT!!! BULL-SHIT!!!


Bob: Switch’s neck must be DUST after that move! Can we get a replay??

*The replay comes up, showing in slow motion Christina’s leap from the apron, and Switch folding up like a TACO on the floor! Back in real time, Switch is being helped up, and carried to the back by the ring crew*

Ralph: I should’ve just punched her right in her non-exitsant tits e_e

*Now We’re backstage with Sue Tellarusso and Gene Starwind!*

Sue: Hey guys, I’m back here with the runner up to the UCTF Grand Championship Tournament, Gene Starwind.. Gene… tonight Shawn has REQUESTED he face you in an electrified light tube match. He thinks that you getting to the finals of the tournament was a fluke.. What do you have to say?

Gene: … e_e… Shawn wants to take me on in a light tube match. That’s fine. But if we’re using weapons.. I’m bringing mine. *pats his castor rifle* …heh.. And as far as me being a fluke in the tournament.. I–

*Well, whatever point Gene was about to make is suddenly interrupted as someone steps between Gene and Sue, pushing the microphone away from his lips! And you’d better believe that upon seeing who it is, the colour drains from Gene’s face like someone just pulled the plug in a bathtub… there’s even a gurgling noise!*

Xion: Oh! Hey! Sorry, didn’t realize the cameras were rolling, hey everyone out there!

*And then, Xion the Unborn, the guy who had his first loss in the UCTF TO Gene under balatantly suspect circumstances, waves to the camera and smiles to the camera!*

Sue: Um… excuse…

Xion: Oh, sorry! I keep forgetting. I’ll let you two do your interview thing.

*The silver haired man turns to leave, bumping into Gene on the way. He stops, straighten’s Genes shirt at the shoulders and then pats him on the back!*

Xion: How’re ya doing buddy? Did you put on weight? Would you look at the time?! I’m late. *to the camera* Boy am I ever late.

*and then like that he’s gone leaving both Gene and Sue standing there with "WTF?!" written across their faces!*

Gene: ………tell me I didn’t just see that…..

Ralph: That was… did you see..

Bob: YES I DID!! >_< Ladies and Gentleman we’re back, and as you can see, Countdown’s camp has set up a ridiculous Anime Title ceremony in the middle of the ring!

*The camera gets a shot at the inside of the ring.. red carpet has covered the entire ring which leads down the stairs, around the ring and all the way up the ramp. The Anime Title is in the middle of the squared circle and is encased inside of a glass podium. Nabeshin stands before us wearing a sleasy suit.. but what’s new? X_x*

Nabeshin: Hello everyone and welcome to this Nabe-casion! ^_^

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nabeshin: I’m here to introduce your new Anime Champion! Everyone, put your hands together, for the man who is the official spokesman of Barf Burger, the man who defeated Andre Tau in a Flaming Cell match, the one, the only, COUNTDOWN!!!

*Just then… Goldberg’s old WCW theme kicks up.. yeah, they’re going all out here folks.. complete with the special pyrotechnical effects! Countdown comes out to a huge ovation.. OF BOOS as he saunters down the aisle!*

Nabeshin: That’s right, the Countdown has begun once again, and this time, it’s counting down to the most glorious Anime title reign in the history of the UCTF!

Crowd: >=| BOOOOO!!

*Countdown climbs into the ring and takes the mic away from Nabeshin.. right as he begins to speak, the crowd interrupts with their favorite chants of all time!*


Countdown: Thank you, thank you… Yes, I am here as your new Anime Champion!!!


Bob: Yeah, thanks to one of the shadiest tactics we’ve seen since Dan Hibiki’s first Grand Championship reign! =\

Ralph: heh.

Countdown: >_< And I would just like to make it a point to all of my C-Fans out there, that I control this belt!!

Crowd: O_o?

Ralph: Oh, what’s this dumbass talking about now?

Bob: I don’t think I WANT to know.

Countdown: THAT’S RIGHT! I made Suicide lose it… I made Kunoi lose it and I’m sure as hell responsible for making that flamer Andre Tau lose it!

Bob: x_x. Please someone make him shutup!

Ralph: I second that notion!

Countdown: Now all I have to say is that a new era in the UCTF has begun, and for all those who think that the Countdown is over, Nabeshin is right… it’s only just begun! My FIRST order of business now that I am champion, is wi—

*Right as Countdown is flapping his gums, the Jumbotron flashes to life with a shot of "Uncle Poad" smiling into the camera! That’s right, We’ve been interrupted by a damn "Poad’s Bar" commercial!*

Ralph: O_o? Huh?

Bob: uhh.. o_o

*Poad doesn’t waist too much more time and steps aside showing his now famous Anime City bar, as usual, filled to the brim with people..*

Poad: Hello friends. I’m Poad owner of Poad’s bar. Here is where the relaxed atmosphere and good drinks are.

*The camera shows various pictures of happy patrons just chatting and taking long gulps out of those big 2-liter beer mugs.*

Ralph: O_o? Is there a point to all this?

Poad: Why, we even have standup comedians and the occasional singer. What I’m saying is…Come on down to Poad’s bar, we have every drink from Naroom to Anime City.

*And with that, the Jumbotron fades to black and we’re back in the arena where Countdown and Nabe are watching in shock! They’ve been cut off by POAD.*

Countdown: … *twitch* o_o..

Nabe: o_o……

Bob: LOL!!!

Ralph: LOL! What the hell!? A commercial during Countdown’s "Title" ceremony? That’s classic! ^_^

Bob: yeah that was all funny and all, but I just hope we don’t’ start showing those "Truth" commercials, it’s bad enough we have to sit through them in the movies now!

Ralph: Don’t get me started on that! >=|

Countdown: .. e_e THIS CEREMONY IS OVER! COME ON NABE! >=|!!!

*If you could see under the mask you’d probably see tears streaming down his eyes right about now! Nabeshin follows as the "Uncle Poad" song plays through the arena!*

Bob and Ralph: LOL!! Let’s get to the next match!

*"Testing" tunes up from the speakers, and once again, the crowd booed in disapproval as Shawn Shane Shields walks down the ramp, complete with his weed whacker and the Swordmaster belt! Despite the embarrassing loss to Bob in the PPV, he comes down to the ring with a confident smirk, knowing who his opponent is…*

Ralph: Here comes Triple S, ready for his match against Melvic for the Swordmaster title!

Bob: He ought to be hiding in embarrassment now that I kicked his ass in On Your Computer! LOL!

Ralph: I think he has other problems to think about, because he’s going to have to defend his title against someone who already won the Swordmaster title TWICE!

*And just then, ‘Zophar’s True Power’ comes on, and the crowd cheered as Melvic Lilith, returning after a long-term dormancy, comes down the ramp with authority! He wanted to get that title for the THIRD time, and he wanted it NOW! Triple S merely watched him, and chuckled to himself as Melvic enters the ring.*

SSS: >=)…. So, the great Melvic returns to get his ass kicked again, huh?

Melvic: >=|!!

SSS vs. Melvic

Swordmaster Championship


*Melvic was just about to charge straight at SSS, but the Philadelphia native held up his hand in a wait signal, and Melvic actually believed him, as he skidded into a halt!*

Melvic: o_O?

SSS: Wait, wait, I feel a sneeze coming in… hold on, okay?

Melvic: ~_~ *waits and taps foot*

Bob: Oh come on!! >=|

Ralph: o_O This is something new…. I think.

*With Melvic waiting just two feet away from him, Triple S took out his rag, sneezed right onto it with a loud honking sound, and then STUFFED Melvic’s face with the wet rag!*

Melvic: ACK!! >___<

Bob: I saw this coming!

Ralph: Melvic, watch out! SSS has the–


Ralph: Weed…. Whacker…. X___X

*You guessed it! Shawn took advantage of the distraction by making a blind date between his weed whacker and Melvic’s FACE! Not even ten seconds into the match, and already blood spurted out as the weed whacker’s deadly blades cut through the face, and Melvic screamed in pain and stumbled back-first through the ropes and onto the concrete outside. Shawn laughed and raised his weed whacker in the air, and droplets of Melvic’s blood threw in all directions from the spinning blades!*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! >=|!!

*Shawn didn’t boast for too long, as he quickly climbed up the turnbuckles with his weapon, seeing Melvic staggering up below, and leaped down, striking him on the head with the weed whacker like a spinning blade guillotine! A pool of blood quickly developed on the ground as Melvic stumbled onto the guardrail, but as Shawn immediately went to grab him, Melvic shoulder tackled him in a desperate move to catch his breath! With renewed vigor, he grabbed Shawn by the throat, threw his weapon onto the mat, and flew up in the air with Shawn on tow, and made a nosedive, slamming the blue-haired whiney bitch with a Sonic Slam!*


Ralph: Whoa, what a way to turn the tables around!

Bob: It would have been better if Shawn actually landed on that sword on the mat!!

*Wanting revenge for having his face cut up, Melvic hauled up Shawn by the air and elbowed struck him to a corner, and then picked up his sword! Without his precious weed whacker, SSS is helpless as Melvic charged forward with his sword, ready to kish-kabob him!*


*Did Melvic run him through? No, of course not, God apparently wanted him to continue living as SSS recovered his senses quickly enough to see Melvic coming and side-stepped just as the sword punched through one of the turnbuckles. With the sword stuck there at the moment, Shawn grabbed Melvic from behind for a release suplex that sent the half-demon flying clear across the mat, and he kissed the turnbuckle on the other end before slumping onto the mat!*

Bob: Ouch! Melvic’s getting a nice welcome back reception, isn’t he? x_X

SSS: e_e……..

*Shawn glared at Melvic as they got up at the same time, after picking up his weed whacker, he smirked and pulled Melvic’s sword out of the turnbuckle and threw it at him. Melvic caught the sword expertly, but he didn’t like the gesture very well. He knew that SSS was just taunting him.*

SSS: You want to take my Swordmaster title, huh? Go ahead and try then. I’ll let you make the first shot. >=)

Melvic: >=/

*Melvic opens up the offensive by flaming his sword and threw a flame cross straight at Triple S! SSS sees it coming and counters with a Venom Strike, and the two projectiles dissipate in mid-air! Melvic tries the same move again and this time, he charges along with the flame cross. SSS fires off another Venom Strike to strike down that flame cross and then sparks flew as the weed whacker and the flaming sword connected again and again as they do a classic play of sword fighting!*

Ralph: Who taught him how to swordfight? O_o


*However, inexperience in this kind of field gave SSS the disadvantage as Melvic slowly but surely overpowered him, and soon SSS finds himself back against the ropes! SSS tries to spin his way around him, but Melvic caught him with a sickening blow to the head with the flat portion of his blade, sending SSS over the ropes and nearly over the guardrail! Not wanting to give any more room to him, Melvic balanced on the top of the ropes, swung his sword around to make a ring, and then leapt onto Shawn! The fiery ring engulfed the blue-haired dude and the crowd cheered as they smelled the sweet odor of burning flesh!*

Bob: Nice comeback by Melvic!

Ralph: Finish him off so that we can get on to the next match! I hate having to see no puppies! ;_;

Bob: You never change, don’t you? ~_~

SSS: *cough* *cough* x_x

*Shawn desperately tries to stand up but Melvic was again upon him, striking him on the neck with the flat of the blade and then once SSS was back on the ground, Melvic fires off a ki that sends himself off the ground, and incinerate Shawn even further! Melvic floats for a few seconds before landing, and then with confidence rising, he walks over to his opponent with his sword still spewing flames. Shawn however recovered quicker than he thought, for once Melvic reached him, he punched him right onto the kidney, and then for the second time in rapid succession, staggered Melvic to the side of the mat. SSS then charged like a bull and drilled Melvic so hard that Melvic’s body folded in half and SQUEEZED through the gap between the bottom rope and the mat, and they both got into the ring that way!*

Ralph: Ouch! That’s one way to get into the ring! X__X

*Melvic rolls around the ring, holding his gut in pain, and SSS kips up, pissed off as HELL! And why not? He lost against the only two zoanthropes in the history of the UCTF so far, got knocked out cold by a sack of doorknobs not once but SEVERAL times, lost a match against a commentator, and on PPV no less, saw his former tag partner and friend Will win the Grand Championship title that he felt he deserved, AND… saw his ex-girlfriend fawn over Will at the end of the PPV! If all that happened to me, of course I would pick up the weed whacker and proceed to cut at Melvic’s leg… which was exactly what SSS did. o_o*


Melvic: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! >______<

Crowd: >______<

Ralph: Ugh, God! X__x

*The weed whacker ripped through Melvic’s flesh on the leg, and whenever Melvic moved to avoid him, SSS followed him and continued on the onslaught! Finally when Melvic rolled to the center of the ring, Shawn threw the weed whacker on the mat beside him and then hauled Melvic to his feet. He launched him in a powerbomb position, bounced him off the top rope, and finished the Westchester Bomb… with Melvic’s back slammed against the weed whacker on the mat! Melvic’s body shook as the spinning blades did its bloody job, but Shawn isn’t finished yet! He then lifts Melvic up for another powerbomb, and slams the two-time Swordmaster champion again on the weed whacker! Melvic screamed loudly in pain, and Shawn lifts him up again…*

Ralph: Not again! Not again! X__x

*BUT, Melvic regained his senses in desperation and punched Shawn on the face to release his hold on him! Landing with his feet between the weed whacker, Melvic quickly picked up the weed whacker and THREW it at SSS! The weed whacker knows neither friend or foe, as the spinning blades slashed across Shawn’s face, spilling his blood to mix in with Melvic’s on the mat!*


Bob: Bout time someone gave that punk a taste of his own medicine!!

*Bloodied on the face, head, leg, and especially his back, Melvic groggily picked up his sword and turned to face Shawn. Before Shawn could pick up the weed whacker, he charged forward and sent three straight flame crosses onto Shawn’s body! SSS screams from the burns and tries to block with the weed whacker, but Melvic easily found an opening and thrust with the sword, cutting across Shawn’s side! With a new wound on the side of his stomach, SSS blocks a second sword slash frantically, kicked Melvic on the stomach and made an impromptu DDT, driving Melvic’s head to the mat! The crowd booed loudly, but neither SSS or Melvic gets up immediately!*

Ref: One…. Two…. Three… Four… Five… Six…


Ralph: Shawn’s up first! Melvic’s in big trouble!! O_O

Bob: Get up, Melvic! Get up! >=|

Melvic: x_o……

*Melvic finally tries to get up, but is too dazed to counter Triple S as the whiney bitch slammed him on the side of the head with the weed whacker, sending Melvic bowling in pain and he rolled out of the ring! However he seemed to be playing possum for even as SSS climbs through the ropes to reach him, Melvic leapt up, grabbed Shawn by the throat, and flies in the air, finally plastering Shawn on the mat with another Sonic Slam!*


SSS: X____X

Melvic: X____X

*The move however almost knocked Melvic out as well, and once again the ref begins to count as the two fighters were catching their breath lying on the mat! This time, when the ref reached to eight, the fighters staggered up both at the same time, and Melvic was the first to charge at him! Shawn however countered by grabbing his clothing by the waist, and using the momentum, slingshot him straight onto the turnbuckles, and then pounded him with a Double Strike for good measure!*

Melvic: X___x!!!

SSS: e_e Enough of this……..

*Shawn steps out of the ring, only to pull out a table from underneath the mat, and then stepped back inside with it! The crowd booed as Shawn set up the table close to the corner where Melvic was at, and then placed the weed whacker on top of the table! Wooden splinters appeared as the spinning blades cut at the table, but it remained in place!*

Ralph: Now what is he going to do…? o_o

*Shawn goes over to Melvic, thinking that he’s too dazed to fight back, but Melvic suddenly punched him on the face, and then grabbed him, lifting him off his feet! He then flies to the top of the ring, Shawn helpless in tow!*

Bob: He’s going for his Deadly Drill Drive finisher!!

*Once Melvic is high enough in the air, he throws Shawn down onto the mat, barely missing the table, and then spins around, diving toward Shawn!!!*


Bob: Goddammit, he MISSED!!! >_<

*Ouch! Melvic missed Shawn entirely, landing on the mat harshly elbow-first! Shawn managed to get up before Melvic could, and seeing the weed whacker still on the table, he chuckled evilly. Uh oh…*

SSS: >=)!!

Melvic: X_X

*Shawn hauls Melvic to his feet and then they BOTH climbed up to the table, still avoiding the weed whacker! Shawn picks him up in a reverse DDT position, and then SLAMS Melvic’s bloody, cut up head ONTO the weed whacker, and they both went through the table as it collapsed from underneath them!*


*Wounded heavily and carrying the almost busted up weed whacker, Shawn rolled away and Melvic’s bloodied form remains amid table debris, knocked out cold!!*

Ref: One… two… three…

Bob: Get up, Melvic! Come on!! O__O

Ref:……. Eight… nine… TEN! RING THE BELL!!



Ralph: And Shawn retains the belt! X__x

Bob: Dammit! e_e!!!

*The crowd continued booing as the ref gives the Swordmaster title back to Shawn. SSS raises the belt victoriously and then looked up to find Bob glaring at him! He smirked, spat onto the mat, then walked out of the ring as the EMTs rushed over to tend to Melvic.*

Winner and STILL UCTF Swordmaster Champion: Shawn Shane Shields

*We’re backstage with Ukyo and Bryan Amethyst*

Ukyo: so Bryan.. o_o.. you’re looking a lot better today.. maybe even.. chipper..

Bryan: yeah.. *sighs* I finally got a GREAT night of sleep ^_^


Bryan: ..oh Yakuu-chan!! H_H!

*Bryan is sleeping with a Yakuu plushie, inside of his bed that’s covered with Yakuu sheets, Yakuu blankies, surrounded by and entire ROOM of Yakuu posters on each wall AND ceiling!*

Ukyo: uhh.. ready for your match against Ethan Rice?? It’s uh.. for the world Title!

Bryan: oh I’m ready Yakuu -chan.. wish me luck! *SKIPS AWAY*

Ukyo: ……….back to you guys……

Announcer: The Following Match is scheduled for one fall and for the UCTF World Championship! First, standing at five feet, nine inches and weighing in at 180 pounds.. From parts unknown… BRYAN AMETHYST!

*"Change The World" by The Offspring kicks up, bringing out Bryan Amethyst.. Someone who’s been… progressively getting weirder within the last few weeks in the UCTF!*

Bob: Here he comes… I know I’ve been out of my position for a few months now, but I’ve been keeping up with shows.. What’s up with him and..

Ralph: I don’t know. He seems a WEEE big obsessed.. Not that Yakuu is a bad thing to be obsessed about! H_H.

Bob: Well he’s lucky enough to be put in a position to win some gold tonight.. I just hope there’s no empty bottles laying around the ring.

Ralph: LOL!! Yeah. ^_^ Those Lo-Ruhamah matches were great.

*As Bryan gets into the ring, his music fades away, allowing the ring announcer to do his job…*

Announcer: Next, being accompanied by Earl Julius Slackmoser.. standing at five feet 11 inches, and weighing in at 150 pounds.. From Muncie, Indiana… ETHAN RICE!


*"Crawling in the Dark" by Hoobstank blares up next, bringing out Ethan Rice, the man who finally shutup the Korean asshole, Sasa Dark at the On Your Computer PPV. The weeks in the UCTF just keep getting better for Rice, as he now prepares to do battle for the UCTF World Championship!*

Bob: Here comes a very happy young man!

Ralph: I’ll say. Now that Sasa’s gotten his ass kicked, he can never interfere in Ethan and Sasha’s relationship anymore… Now that they have no more drama, how long do you actually think THAT relationship will last?

Bob: Who knows! But let’s not get off of subject like those other commentators in New England, We’re getting ready for an impromptu World Title match thanks to Vegeta stripping William Clarke of the gold!

Ralph: come on, he was doing William a favor! Who wants to defend four titles in one night anyway??

*Inside the ring, the referee flashes the beltin front of Bryan, as well as Ethan before holding it into the air!*

Ethan Rice vs. Bryan Amethyst

UCTF World Championship

*Bryan and Ethan size each other up before the bell. This match could very easily boost the careers of both UCTF fighters…*

Bob: Not counting the NNNN invitational a few weeks ago, this will be the first time Ethan and Bryan will meet in the squared circle.

Ralph: So you mean this match could be a crap fest?

Bob: or a classic. o_o

Ralph: ..crap-fest.


*Ethan throws his coat out of the ring and to Slackmoser, and as the bell sounds, Bryan and Ethan slowly creep towards each other, preparing for the other to throw the first punch when out of no where Bryan goes for a savate kick! Ethan dodges matrix style, then finds himself leaping over a low sweeping kick! Bryan comes back up with a high spin kick which Ethan ducks! The gamer uses that momentum to come around with a spinning Elbow that Bryan blocks with both forearms. He pushes Ethan Back and goes for a fourth kick, in which Ethan blocks with a kick of his own! Unphased, Bryan goes for a high kick that finds it’s way against Ethan’s face!*

Bob: Bryan taking control early!

Ralph: I know Ethan’s face is hurting right now x_x

*Ethan hits the ropes from the kick and bounces back, running right into a shoulder tackle that takes his legs out right from underneath him. Showing an inspiring amount of speed, Bryan flies through the air, bounces off of the ropes and sends Ethan to the ground with an elbow to the small of the back! Ethan hits the canvas and bounces back to his feet. As he turns around, Bryan is already mid-flip, He ends up behind Ethan before digging both feet into his back! Ethan goes flying face first into the turnbuckle and snaps backwards, right into Bryan’s "Tatsumaki Lariat" which sends Ethan head over heels.. LITERALLY.*

Ralph: NICE clothesline there!

Bob: Bryan is taking this match VERY seriously it seems!

Ralph: Well yeah, This is probably gonna be his last time going for this title!

*After those high impact moves, the crowd is surprised to see Ethan being able to stand up! Bryan waits paitently behind him, charging up his arms with electric-chi. Not good for the gamer!*

Bob: Bryan taking it to Ethan very early.. If he can keept his momentum up here!

*Ethan turns around just as Bryan thrusts forward with the attack! Somehow he’s able to dodge via a quick roll! As he stands up, Ethan pulls out his doom mace and swings it at full power towards Bryan. The dimension jumper manages to get his arms up in the way, and takes the mace full on.. Before dispersing into a mist!*

Ethan: ?!!?

Ralph: What the hell was that!?

Bob: I have no idea, I don’t think he’s ever done that in the UCTF!

*The mist forms into Bryan once again, but now he’s right behind Ethan! He lunges to attack, but just when he does, Ethan quickly pulls out a set of 20 sided dice from his bag, and right into the open chest of Bryan!*


*The challenger is caught dead on quite unexpectantly and is sent into the far corner HARD. We’re talking Rey Jr being thrown by the Big Show hard!*

Bob: 20 Sided Dice! 20 sided Dice!

*As Bryan bounces forward from the kick, Ethan nails him in the bread basket with a well placed kick! Bryan doubles over from the attack as Ethan comes off of the ropes, and SMACKS him with an uppercut using the Mace! Bryan is taken off of his feet and lands neck first! Into the ropes!*

Bob: WOW! What a hit!

Ralph: LOL.. Bryan almost FLIPPED from that hit!

*With Bryan down, and probably not getting up for a while, Ethan stumbles over to the corner and ties the dicebag to the top turnbuckle!*

Ralph: Bob, what is he..

Bob: one can only imagine Ralph.. I think he’s gonna try to irish whip BRYAN into the dice bag!

Ralph:… I’m gonna enjoy watching this!

*Ethan goes back to Bryan, and does EXACTLY what Bob says he’s going to do! He irish whips, but it’s REVERSED by Bryan! Ethan goes flying across the ring and almost into the bag! Luckily he stops short just INCHES from the dicebag! Bryan flies across the ring to tackle Ethan into the bag, but the gamer dodges! Bryan goes FACE FIRST into it!*


Crowd: OOOH!!




*The blast knocks bryan to the mat with such force he FLIPS over to his stomach! Ethan makes a running slide, turns Bryan over and goes for the pin!*

Referee: 1…2…2.9999!!!

*Ethan pops back up to his feet and crouches low in the corner, preparing for Bryan to get up! The fans see what’s coming and begin calling for the SPEAR!*

Bryan: >_<

Bob: Ethan’s setting Bryan up for the end here!

Ralph: oh well, Bryan was doing pretty good for the first…. two minutes in the match…

*Bryan’s back up and turns around just as Ethan EXPLODES towards him for the Spear! However, Bryan LEAPS over the attack! Ethan somehow rolls out of it and returns to his feet with a present for Bryan now in his hands.. The 100 sided dice! However Bryan sees them and immediately throws a small ki attack across the ring in a blaze! The blast hits Ethan’s hand with the dice encased!*


*The dice are set off and almost blow Ethan’s hand right off of his body! The kid flies flies through the air and hits the ground HARD.*

Ethan: X___X!!

Bob: GREAT move by Bryan Amethyst!!! He can capitalize on this right now!

*And he plans on it Bobby! Bryan is now fully charged! He flies towards Ethan, but is met with a HUUUUUGGEEE ballshot! Bryan flies off of his feet and lands knees first! Ethan draws back, and with desperation nails Bryan in the temple with Chastity’s "Star Punch!" Bryan flips over and hits the ground! The devestating punch to the temple almost knocking him completely out!*

Ralph: Bryan’s down! Bryan’s down!!

Bob: And Ethan’s got his Mace in hand! He’s going up top!

*Damn right it’s he’s going up, and the crowd knows it!*


*As Ethan perches himself on the top rope… an all too familiar face makes his way from the back wearing a HUGE smirk! No, it’s not Sasa Dark, it’s someone much more dark and demented.. The demon known as…*


Bob: RAVEN DARC!! What’s he doing out here?!?!

*Raven immediately takes out Earl Slackmoser and prepares to do the same, but this time, Ethan doesn’t give him an opportunity to interfere in the match! He LEAPS off of the top rope and right into the giant with the mace! Raven stumbles backwards from the hit, and Ethan actually pummels his ass all the way back up the aisle!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

Ralph: WTF, am I watching the twilight zone?!

Bob: no! I’m seeing it too! Ethan is going berserk!!

*The ref doesn’t even attempt to count! There has to be a winner in this match of Vegeta will hand him his ASS. He follows behind Ethan, instructing Meanwhile inside the ring, Bryan has recovered from the series of attacks and watches on..*

Bryan: … e_e…

*He looks on at the commotion outside… then lays back down on the canvas as if he’s still knocked out!*

Ralph: Hey did you..

Bob: I sure did!!! Bryan’s got somethingup his sleeve!

*Back outside, the referee finally pulls Ethan off of Raven Darc, who backs off willingly and retreats for now.. Now with the threat gone, Ethan returns his attentions to the STILL Koed Bryan who lays "unconscious" in the ring! The referee jumps back into the ring as Ethan begins his climb to the top rope with mace still in hand!*

Ethan: >=D!!

Bob: And Ethan’s going up top!! I don’t think he knows!

Ralph: Oh this is pure genius on Bryan’s part!

*Bryan "stumbles" to back to his feet, right where Ethan wants him! As the gamer leaps off to put the finishing touches on Amethyst… Bryan pulls thrusts his palms forward, shooting out an enormous ki techinque right into the exposed torso of Ethan Rice!*



*Ethan is hit and OBLITERATED by the attack, completely with articles of clothing literally being burnt right off of him! The blast sends Ethan flying straight into the air before gravity takes over, bringing the 150 pounder back to the canvas, face first!*

Crowd: OOOOHHHH!!!!!

*Bryan stumbles and lands tangled in the ropes utterly exhausted, while the referee performs a ten count on the downed Ethan!*

Referee: 1….2… ….Screw that he’s out! Ring the bell!


*That’s right folks, the bell sounds as "Change the World" kicks up over the sound system! The Referee brings the belt into the ring and hands it over to Bryan before raising his arm in the air!*

Bob: AMAZING! NEW WORLD CHAMPION! Bryan defeats Ethan Rice in their first meeting and wins the UCTF World Championship!

Ralph: That was a brutal ki attack to end it! Ethan was WIDE open as well, he didn’t stand a chance!

*Bryan rolls out of the ring and walks up the aisle all the while not taking his eyes off of his new reward, I think he’s as shocked as most of us out there in the crowd and in TV land.. He’s the new World Champion!*

Winner and NEW UCTF World Champion: Bryan Ameythst

*Back in the ring, as the referee checks on Ethan… Raven Darc swoops down from out of NO where! The ref just about pisses his pants and flees the area, leaving only Raven and the downed Gamer alone!*

Bob: oh what the hell is this?!!?

Ralph: I don’t think he’s finished with Ethan!! X_x

*Oh heck no he’s not! He pulls Ethan back to his feet by the hair methodically, before wrapping his arms around his neck, and performing the "Endless Waltz" in the center of the ring!*

Raven: >=)



Bob: That was COMPLETELY un-called for! Ethan was already helpless after that energy attack from Bryan Amethyst.. Why the hell has Raven been attacking him week in and week out?!?!?!

*Raven leaves the ring as "Die Motherf**ker Die" blares through the sound system! As the full fledged demon walks up through the stage and to the back, Ethan screams out to him with a microphone given to him by the announcer..*


Bob: uh oh.. What is this.

Ralph: umm.. Ethan… you beat Sasa.. Don’t let that go to your head!

Raven: e_e….

*Inside the ring, Ethan is stumbling around, trying to stand back to his feet unsuccessfully, before finally falling into the ropes..*


*The crowd pops HUGE, even though Ethan may be signing his own death certificate right now!*

Bob: NOT a good idea!

Ralph: We’re getting ready to see a beating.. O_O…

*Raven, with a sickening evil glare in his eyes curls his lips into a demonic grin.. He slowly shakes his head "no" before turning around and heading to the back!*

Ralph: What?! He turned Ethan down?!

Bob: I don’t understand.. What does Raven have up his sleeve?!

*Ethan rolls out of the ring still VERY much hurt from the combination of attacks.. He helps his manager back to his feet and together, they retreat to the back.*

Bob: Well, that was interesting.. But not as interesting as what’s about to come up next!

Ralph: Is it what I think it is?!

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall… and the UCTF INTERGALATIC CHAMPIONSHIP!!

Ralph: YES!! >_< !!!

Bob: This is going to be a great one.. FILLED with action!


*"Breaking Me Down" blares through the sound system bringing out The former three time Anime Champion, 2002 UCTF Strong Man Champion, SUICIDE jumps onto the stage area getting the crowd hype! He’s in a great mood, considering he gets a Intergalactic title shot out of the blue, and against someone he’s been wanting to put his hands on for a LONG time now anyway!*

Announcer: Hailing from Louisville, Kentucky, in the U.S. OF A!!

Crowd: *HUGE POP*

Announcer: Standing in at five feet seven inches and weighing in at 158 pounds… Seth Conway… SUICIDE!!!

*Suicide leaps into the ring, jumps to the top rope and raises his arms in the air to a nice pop!*

Bob: We’ve seen small seedlings of dissention between the members of The Militia..

Ralph: SMALL? Heero cost Leona a title.. against NNNN! Suicide and Leona beat the HELL out of each other in the last battle royale! These people are as disfunctional as Archie Bunkers!

Bob: well.. Yeah…*Next up, "Rhythmic Hallucination" turns up receiving a massive chorus of boos from the crowd! Here comes Leona, wearing her upgraded Milita outfit walking straight towards the ring! She slides in just as Arzie beings to run down her stats*

Announcer: Next weighing in a-


*Leona sends a small explosive, destroying Arzie’s microphone! She gives him a cold stare before saying…*

Leona: Now that wouldn’t be polite to tell my weight… would it? e_e


Bob: ugh… man she’s a.. she’s a..

Ralph: Psychopathic, Hateful, Cold Heart maniacal bitch??

Bob: well yeah, something like that o_o.

*Leona cracks her knuckles and glares over at Suicide, who glares right back. Time for a lover’s quarrel kiddies, UCTF style!*

Suicide vs. Leona

UCTF Intergalactic Championship


*The match starts, and neither of these two competitors waste a SECOND attacking each other in the center of the ring! Suicide trades blows with Leona, who shows she can take hits like a man! Matter of fact, she takes control of the brawling, pushing Suicide towards the corner with every punch she connects! In the corner, Suicide blocks another right, followed by a headbutt! Leona stumbles backwards, holding her nose seconds before getting NAILED with a sweet savate kick! Leona stumbles, but STILL doesn’t go down! Suicide looks to the crowd amazed! He turns back to Leona, spins a full 360 degrees before NAILING her with an elbow! Leona reels from the hit, but STILL doesn’t go down!*

Bob: WOW!

Ralph: Damn, she can take shots to the face really well!

Bob: Don’t think I don’t know that was a hentai reference. e_e

Ralph: you’re learning, grasshopper. ^_^

Suicide: .. e_e!!!

*Suicide comes off the ropes and goes for a huge clothesline, but Leona ducks the attack! She turns around JUST to catch a SECOND savate kick from Suicide, taking her down!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

*Seth covers quickly to end the match..*

Ref: 1…2…

*Leona kicks out, Suicide then immediately flips her over and snaps her into his AWOL submission! The crowd pops huge, UNTIL they see a certain two people walking out from the backstage area…*

Ralph: Hey Bob! Look!!

Bob: Oh great… Look who’s here.. The two very men that entered the UCTF along with Suicide…

*YEP, It’s X and Recon! It’s common knowledge that these two have aligned themselves with Leona, but enough to turn on the very man who made them who they are? e_e well, they slowly walk down to the squared circle and watch their two leaders duking it out from the outside of the ring.*

X: e_e

Recon: e_e..

*Inside the ring, Seth’s got the AWOL locked tight.. But Leona muscles her way over to the ropes and grabs hold! The referee pulls Seth off, who pushes the ref away and goes to lock it on a second time.. ONLY to catch a mule kick to the sack!*

Suicide: >_<

*Leona comes off the ropes and FLIES through the air! Suicide is slashed midair and kicked away. He bounces off the ropes, comes back and is snap mared HARD tot he canvas, a move Leona calls the "Order Buckler" It’s so powerful that Suicide bounces off of the top rope and back to his feet.. As he stumbles around, Leona PLOWS him over with the "X-Calibur"*

Bob: Leona’s definately in control now thanks to a well placed ballshot by Suicide!

*Suicide crawls towards the corner, as Leona chops away.. When she picks him up by the air, Suicide suddenly shoves her into the ref, who is just about crushed in the turnbuckle! When she bounces back, Suicide NAILS her in the crotch with a kick in response to the one she gave him earlier!*

Leona; X_X!

Suicide: e_e..

Crowd: *POPS HUGE!*

Ralph: I still don’t understand how that hurts women.

Bob: ooh but it does! LOL Turn about is fair play!

*Leona doubles over and catches a wicked axe kick! The crowd pops loud and begins the chant like clockwork!*


Suicide: …e_e!!

*He comes off the ropes again and nails a second to a MASSIVE pop! Suicide is back up, as he waits for Leona to stand… one can only suspect he’s going for the big finisher.. The Court Martial! Once Leona’s back up, she’s lifted right into his arms!*

Bob: This is it!

Ralph: No, she’s slipping out!

*Somehow, Leona slips out and pushes Suicide away! He hits the ropes, she swings, he ducks then NAILS her with a third savate kick! Leona is taken off of her feet once again and sent to the mat! Suicide looks out to the crowd, and immediately begins his climb to the top rope! He wastes NO time coming off, executing the corkscrew elbow!*

Bob: Suicide connects!

*He covers, and the ref goes for the count!*

Ref: 1…2…

*But the referee is pulled out by Recon and shoved to the floor!*

Crowd: O_O! BOOOO!!

Ralph: I KNEW IT!!

Bob: Those benedicts!!

*X jumps into the ring and attacks Suicide! As the crowd boos their freaking asses off, Suicide gets the upper hand and beats the living HELL out of subordinate inside the ring! Within seconds X is in Suicide’s arms in the fireman’s carry, going for the court martial!*


*BUT Recon enters in the ring with a chair, and NAILS Suicide in the face with it! Seth drops X out of his arms and goes down.. Recon and X then lift their leader off of the canvas and deliver the KILLSHOT, a double half nelson into a face buster!*

Crowd: BOOOOO!!!

*Oh it’s not over, Suicide is lifted into the air by Recon and X, before he’s hit with the SHELL SHOCKER, a double inverted Stunner that sends the former three timer to the canvas! With the referee STILL Koed on the outside, Leona is back up.. She orders X grab another chair from the outside.*

Leona: e_e…

Bob: Now what?!

Ralph: I don’t know, but now each X and Recon have chairs.. And there’s no one coming out here to help.. NOT cool not cool!

Bob: Where’s the freaking Grand Champion?! Anyone?!!?

*Leona locks Suicide into a reverse powerbomb position while X and Recon NAIL him with stern chairshots! Afterwards, they set the chairs up in front of Leona, who finished Suicide off with an IMPRESSIVE reverse Powerbomb face first on the chairs! The very move Suicide thought of known as the "ART OF WAR!" Suicide writhes in pain on the canvas, X and Recon leave the area and throw in the referee who’s still groggy!*


Ralph: I think it is.. X_x

*Leona covers, and it’s damn elementary folks..*

Ref: 1……… 2……… 3!


Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*It’s OVER. "Rhythmic Hallucination" starts up to a tirade of boos from the crowd! The Referee stumbles back into the ring with the Intergalactic Championship, and it’s SNATCHED away by Leona.*

Announcer: The winner of this match and NEW UCTF Intergalactic Champion.. LEONA!


Bob: This is simply put.. BULLSHIT. >=|

Ralph: ~_~ … O_O!! AM-


Ralph: DAMNIT!!!

Winner and NEW Intergalactic Champion: Leona

*X and Recon put the title around the waste of Leona, and raise her arms into the air after SCREWING Suicide out of the title! As the militia prepares to leave the ring.. The new Intergalatic Champion stops them, before barking out commands to her boy toys. They immediately move into action, picking up the bent chairs from the canvas and beating the LIFE out of Seth Conway in the center of the ring!*



Ralph: Oh come on!


*Seth is now bleeding PROFUSELY from the chairshots! Leona calls for them to finish him off!*

X and Recon: *nod* e_e..

*As they lift the chairs into the air, the crowd pops HUGE when a familiar figure leaps into the ring out of NO WHERE and I do mean NO WHERE. He spears BOTH X AND Recon down to the mat to a huge ovation!*



*Recon swings at Heero who ducks and grabs X around the shoulders and neck, he hits a HUUUUUGE Exploder that sends Xavier landing RIGHT ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! He’s out! Recon dives forward just as Heero pulls out a small, powerful string and wraps it locked around Recon’s neck! The subordinate is then THROWN over the top rope with it and literally HANGED over that bitch!*

Heero: e_e!!!!!

*Leona NAILS Heero from behind with the chair! Recon is dropped to the floor…*

Heero: …. e_e…

*And Heero does the ol "NO SELL" from the hit to the back! He turns around PISSED. Leona drops the chair and dives through the ropes, leaving both X and Recon to rott inside the ring!*


Bob: What a return for Heero Yuy! GOOD GOD!

*"WAR MACHINE" kicks up as Heero checks on Suicide in the ring.. He calls for the EMTs who rush with a stretcher and IV unites for Suicide..*

Ralph: Man.. Heero is .. He’s just as insane as ever.. O_O..

Bob: that he is.. But he saves Suicide from more damage.. Thank GOD he showed up when he did.

*Heero, along with the EMTs help Suicide to the back..*


*The screen fades from the UCTF logo to a clip in to the main event of OYC1… where Kyo Kusanagi wins the Intergalactic Championship by a thin hair!*

*on the big screen.. we see Hystalin and Kyo come off the second rope with the russian leg sweep again..

then it switches to slow motion.. Kakarott’s count 1……..2…….. Hystalin raises her arm right on the count

of three, and a GIGASECOND before Kakarott’s hand touches the mat, Kyo raises his arm! Kyo wins by

a Gigasecond! Kakarott raises Kyo’s hand in victory!*

Ralph: Oh man! I don’t think there’s been a match in UCTF history that was this close!!!

*The image of Kyo Kusanagi holding the Intergalactic Championship then fades into another moment of UCTF History. It is the scene on OYCII where Kaede’s retirement speech goes on in the background… including Kaede’s proposal to his girlfriend, Athena.*

*Kaede reaches into his shirt and pulls out a small black box. He opens it, revealing a gold ring*

Kaede: Athena Asamiya…will you marry me?

*The image of Kaede and Athena kissing fades into an infamous scene in OYCIII where Vegeta hands Jim Saotome the UCTF Grand Championship after winning the grand championship tournament back then.*

*Vegeta gets into the ring and goes face to face with Jin.. He slaps the belt against his bare chest, than raises the new Grand Champion’s hand in the air!!*

*Image of Jin Saotome holidng the grand title fades away, giving way to Seph Rend’s victory against Dayvid Nite, defending his coveted Intergalactic Championship title on OYCIV.*

Bob: What an amazing match! Seph retains the titleand his flawless record!

Scott: That was great! I bet we’ll see another rematch between these two soon!

*But then another timeless moment fades in! This time, it’s the image of Dayvid Night becoming victorious against Miko Mido, winning the UCTF Grand Championship and starting a feud that lives on to this day!*

*She’s back to her feet, but So is Dayvid! She turns around and finds herself being turned upside down in the arms of the "Legendary Beast"! The crowd stands to their feet and tries to cheer Miko into getting out of it! They’re hearts are browken when Dayvid explodes into the nosebleed section, then driving her back down on her head!*

Crowd: OOOOOH!!!!!

*He covers her body up and the ref counts!*

Ref: 1………2……..3!

*Another famous moment appears on the screen. This time it’s the emergence of the infamous Dark Horsemen laying waste to their opposition!*

*No one knows what the HELL is going on! Vegeta grabs Piccolo by the back of his bald head and flings him clear over the top ropes! He then kicks Hystalin and Ryokun under the ropes and to the floor, which leaves He and Jeice alone! The five other fighters and Roger Smith climb back into the ring!*

Ralph: ….DON’T TELL ME…

Bob: NO.. NO……

*Now Vegeta and 17 SHAKE HANDS!*

Bob: GOD NO!!!!!!!!

*Then comes another moment in UCTF history fades into the screen. This time, it’s the moment when Dan Hibiki successfully and luckily beat four other titans in retaining the Grand Championship belt on OYCVII!*

Bob: oh god no! Don’t let it end this way!!

Ref: 1………..

Bob: NO!! Hystalin Kick out!

Ref: 2……………..

Bob: *Covers his ears* X_X!!!!

Ref: 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Then comes the greatest moment in all of 2003… the moment where William Clarke became the UCTF Grand Championship on OYC8, and Jeice presents William with the belt… now completely PLATINUM.*

Jeice: I was given the permissioni by the President to present you with this.. New UCTF Grand Championship Belt.. And William, before I unveil this thing.. I just want to say that there’s a million federations out there who claim their title is THE Championship Gold. Heh.. Well they can have their gold mate, because not since the times of MILL MASCARAS has there been a TRULY PLATINUM title!

*He unveils the all new, all PLATINUM UCTF Grand Championship Title!*

Ralph: HOLY CRAP!!

Jeice: That’s right Kid, I present to you the PLATINUM UCTF Grand Championship Title. This federation is ABOVE the gold standard. We’re better than it, and so are you.

*The last image on the screen shows William Clarke holding the platinum UCTF Grand Championship in his hands until the screen fades to black. Then, on the screen appears the UCTF Logo… but with a little more…*



Bob: We’re back, and as you can see inside the ring, we’re getting ready for the main event!

Ralph: …dude.. Gene Starwind… two main events within the last two cards.

Bob: I know. o_o watch Team Rocket come back and kick Will and Suicide’s ass CLEANLY for the tag titles!

Announcer: The following match.. will be an ELECTRIFIED LIGHTTUBE MATCH!


*The booing starts within FOUR beats of SSS’s theme song "Testing" by CKY. The Swordmaster Champion slowly walks out from the back, still pretty beaten up from his go round with Melvic Lillith earlier in the night. Using a light tube as a walking stick, the cocky champion slowly saunters down the aisle to a tirade of booing!*

Ralph: Well you’ve gotta admit SSS has some balls coming out here after a vicious match against Melvic!

Bob: I don’t "gotta" give him a damn thing! >=|

Announcer: Weighing in at 200.2 pounds, and standing at five feet, ten inches… The UCTF Swordmaster Champion… SHAWN. SHANE. SHIELDS!

*SSS jumps into the ring, holding the swordmaster title in the air with one hand, and a light tube in the other!*

Bob: SSS has manipulated the system once again. He’s got Gene in a match of HIS expertise! Gene’s never been in a light tube match.. hell, Gene doesn’t even know how to fight without the aid of a damn GUN! He’s going to get slaughtered out there!

Ralph: Hey, he almost beat William last week!

Bob: e_e..

Ralph: ……. ok so he didn’t stand a chance! That’s not the point!

Announcer: Next, hailing from Sentinel III… standing at 5 feet, 9 inches and weighing in at 185 pounds… Gene Starwind!!

*"Shotgun Blues" kicks up over the sound system, and out comes Gene Starwind, the man who made it to the finals of a tournament he wasn’t even supposed to be in! He’s no fool, tonight he’s armed with his Castor Rifle, ready to go just like this was an NRA match!*

Gene: e_e..

*He gets inside the squared circle, which has four boards leanding on each turnbuckle. Each board contains four light tubes each that are plugged in and illuminated. For added effect, the lights around the entire open air arena is dimmed down almost complete to darkness, leaving the fluorescent tubes inside the ring to provide light for the entire crowd!*

Ralph: ooh! Pretty lights!

Bob: …dumbass.

SSS vs. Gene Starwind

Electrified Light Tube Match


*Shawn drops the one lighttube down in the corner, and just STARES down Gene! Gene slowly approaches him, and the two meet in the middle of the ring!*

Gene: >=|….

SSS: e_e……>=|

*Shawn then just hocks a HUGE loogie right into Gene’s face!*


Ralph: Oh COME ON!!!

*Shawn takes advantage of Gene’s temporary blindness, and starts hammering away at him! Shawn just punches the HELL out of Gene, and as Gene starts bending over from the pain, Shawn just keeps on punching right in the back of the head!!*

Gene: x_X!!!

*But Shawn just KEEPS up the assault! He yanks up Gene, and whips him HARD towards one of the corners!*

Ralph: Oh shi-


*BUT, Gene JUST manages to stop himself short of the glowing board! He catches his breath and turns around…*


Crowd: OOOOHHH!!!

*only to walk into a lighttube shot from Shawn, who picked up the tube he had brought to the ring with him! The damn thing EXPLODES over Gene’s head, and Gene goes down, his forehead ALREADY bleeding!*

Shawn: >=D!

*Shawn picks up Gene, and gives him a quick kick to the gut! Gene doubles over, and Shawn takes advantage, planting him with a DDT! Gene rolls over with it, holding his head on the mat, as Shawn slides outside!*

Ralph: What’s he doing!?

Bob: I can tell you what… e_e he’s setting up some seating!

*Yes, that’s right, Shawn’s flipping up the ring apron, and is getting some PLUNDER! He slides in two steel chairs, and sets a cardboard box up against the side of the ring before sliding back in! Gene is just getting up from the DDT, and Shawn just knocks him RIGHT back down with a chairshot!*

Ralph: Shawn’s in control of this match now!

Bob: I TOLD you Gene didn’t have a chance! >=|

*With Gene down, Shawn goes over to one of the lighttube boards! He slowly pulls it out of the corner, and sets it down flat on the mat! Smirking, he picks up one of the chairs, and turns around*


Crowd: OOOOHH!!!

Shawn: X_X!!!

*But, while he was down, Gene had managed to get his castor gun, and shoots the chair! The shot causes the chair to fly back, and nail Shawn in the face! It’s like a Van Daminator…only instead of a pothead kicking you get a bounty hunter shooting! Gene gets up, and goes over to Shawn, who’s STILL smarting from the shot! Gene grabs Shawn’s bloodstained shirt, and just RIPS it right off! He looks at the board on the ground, and back at Shawn!*

Gene: e_e!!!

*Gene gives Shawn a STIFF ass kick to the head, and drags him across the ring! He hoists him up into a powerbomb position, and gets a running start!!*




*Shawn is just TOSSED and lands back-first on the board! The tubes all EXPLODE, and Shawn rolls over onto the floor, his back both cut up and burned in spots from the tubes!*

Ralph: Oh my GOD!!!


Ralph: You’re on GENE’S side?!

Bob: No…. I just want to see Blue Boy get messed up >=|

*Shawn is WRITHING in pain on the ground, and Gene follows him! Gene yanks the cord from the dead board out of it’s socket under the ring, and starts CHOKING Shawn with it! Dragging Shawn by the cord wrapped around his neck, Gene just WHIPS him around and into the ring!*

Ralph: And with that SICKENING move onto Shawn, Gene is back in control of this match!

*Gene slides in, stomps on Shawn, then goes over into the corner! He pulls one of the boards out of the way, then goes back over to Shawn, and whips him HARD into the corner! Shawn takes the bump HBK-style, and ends up in a sitting position on the top rope! Gene YANKS him down into a Tree of Woe position, and leans the board on him, the tubes pointed at him!*

Ralph: Oh no…

Bob: OH YES >=D

*Gene sets up one of the chairs in the middle of the ring, and by this time, the fans are BUZZING! Gene gets a running start, leaps off the chair, and just DROPKICKS the board!!!*


Crowd: OOOOHHH!!!!

*The board just EXPLODES all over Shawn’s body and face, and it splits in half!*


*Gene tosses away the halves, and pulls off Shawn’s bloody and burned body! He then drags one of the two remaining boards into the middle of the ring!*

Ralph: What’s he doing?? He should just PIN Shawn and end it?

Bob: Why, when there’s two more lighttube boards to put him through?!? e_e

*Gene picks up Shawn’s limp body, and tries to lift him up with another powerbomb! But, Shawn manages to SOMEHOW slide OVER Gene’s head, and land back-to-back with him!*


*And he gives a Ric-Flair like back kick RIGHT to Gene’s nether regions! He grabs Gene, and picks him up for what looks like a reverse bomb onto the board! But, Shawn DELIBERATELY changes direction, and slams Gene right NEXT to the board!*

Crowd: o_o….

Shawn: e_e…..

*Shawn drags the board, and props it up against the second rope! He yanks up Gene, and pulls HIS shirt off! He hoists up Gene into a powerbomb position, bounces him off the top rope, then…*


Crowd: OOOOOHHH!!!!

*Gives Gene a Westchester Bomb ACROSS the ring thorough the board! Gene SCREAMS out in pain, and his back is now the one cut up and burned from the hot tubes!*

Ralph: My GOD!! Gene HAS to be out after that one!

Bob: NOW what’s that son of a bitch doing!?

*Shawn rolls out of the ring, and picks up the box he’d left outside, when he comes back in, he dumps out the box’s contents…. at least thirty MORE lighttubes! The crowd starts to stir, as Shawn picks up a bale of three tubes taped together!*


*He SLAMS it over Gene’s head, shattering them! He even throws the broken stubs and breaks them against his head! Gene just goes down limp, and Shawn starts piling up tubes on Gene’s back! He picks up a chair, and….*


Crowd: OOOHH!!!

*SMASHES the tubes all over Gene’s back with it!*


*Shawn sets up one chair, and another one across from it, and sets the last board across it! The crowd is getting restless, as Shawn stuffs Gene’s head between his legs!*


Ralph: AISHA!! AISHA!!!

*The fans give her SOME heel heat, but not much because she’s running in against Shawn! Aisha scoops up two of the lighttubes on the mat, and just SMASHES them over Shawn’s head! Shawn goes down, and Gene manages to slip out of the powerbomb!*

Gene: >_o…. >;|….

*Both Gene and Aisha start POUNDING away at Shawn! The crowd just comes UNGLUED, not for them, but for the fact that Shawn’s getting his ass whipped! Gene points to the top rope, and the two start climbing WITH Shawn!*

Ralph: What are they…. oh no…

Bob: They’re BOTH going to put his worthless as through that board! >=D!!

*Gene and Aisha are BOTH standing on the top rope, and have their hands over Shawn’s throat! They both motion to the board, to a HUGE crowd reaction!*

Shawn: >_< …. >=|!!!

*Shawn, though, manages to elbow free! He then just SHOVES Aisha, sending her FLYING off the top, and she SMACKS against the concrete floor!!*

Crowd: OOOHH!!!

*As he shoves her, he crotches Gene on the top rope! Taking a moment to catch his breath, he then gets Gene in a sitting position on his shoulders! He manages to climb up the turnbuckle, and then cradles Gene’s head forward with his hands!*

Ralph: What’s he doing!??!

*Now on the top rope, Shawn JUMPS off, and DRIVES Gene HEAD AND NECK FIRST through the last board!*



*Gene ends up FLAT on his back in the middle of the ring, surrounded by broken boards and tubes! Shawn rolls over, and hooks the leg!*

Ref: 1!…..2!….3!!!!




Winner: Shawn Shane Shields

*A battered, bloody Shawn rolls to his knees, a HUGE grin on his face! He’s handed the swordmaster belt, which he holds HIGH above his head!*

Ralph: And even with Aisha’s assistance, Gene STILL falls to Shawn tonight!

Bob: I TOLD YOU Gene wasn’t going to win!! >=|

Ralph: What’s Shawn doing!?

*Shawn slides out of the ring, and throws in Aisha’s body! Grabbing one of the tubes on the mat, he just SMASHES it over her head, sending her down to the mat!*


*Shawn even hoists her up, and gives her a Pedigree Piledriver onto a bunch of tubes! Right after he does, he gathers up a bunch of them, and just CHUCKS them at Gene, who’s just starting to get up!*


Gene: X___X!!!


*Shawn picks up the last three bulbs, and smashes one over Gene’s right shoulder!*


*Then one right over his arm!!*


*The final lightbulb is shattered RIGHT over Gene’s right hand! It splits his firing arm open and blood begins to gush down on the canvas! It’s brutal.. but the Swordmaster Champion isn’t done! Using the now shattered end of the light tube remaining in his arms.. SSS raises it over his head, while stepping on Gene’s arm to keep it still.. He’s planning to END Starwinds NRA career for good!*


Ralph: I think he can! >___< !! I think he can!

*The crowd suddenly pops HUGE as The Grand Champion sprints down to the ring and slides in! SSS drops the weapon and leaps out of the ring STAT! "Testing" kicks up as the swordmaster champion retreats to fight another day.. William scowls at his future opponent, before checking on Gene and Aisha’s welfare.. two people that just ONE week ago pulled out all stops to beat his ass!*

Bob: WOW that was a close one.. Great save by our Grand Champion!

Ralph: I thought he had the night off! Is he RIPPING his own shirt and putting it on Gene’s arm?!

Bob: That he is! What a guy this kid is!

*William calls for EMTs who rush down to attend to Gene and Aisha after the beating they just sustained, while on the top of the ramp.. Sugar Shane glares down at the Champion with a smirk on his face, the broken lighttube still in his hand…*

SSS: e_e..

William: e_e..

Bob: William doesn’t get his hands on Shawn tonight, but you damn well bet that he’ll get the opportunity next week as UCTF returns with Only The Strong Qualifiers! For Ralph Gerrard, this is Robert Hinden saying goodnight!

*The UCTF logo flashes across the screen one last time before fading to black..*


Archives Roster Application Titles Top Ten UCTF Information Station