Ric Austin vs. Xamot | Eblis Drakar vs. Blu De’Ragnarok | Rosinthorn vs. Marcella Grace | Inuyasha (c) vs. Raven Darc

Bob: Coming to you live from the UCTF Arena in Anime City, I am Robert Hinden, along-side everyone’s favorite hentai commentator, Ralph Gerrard to call another great episode of exciting UCTF action!
Ralph: yep…
Bob: Tonight, an epic feud will FINALLY… FINALLY come to an end, as Inuyasha will defend the UCTF Intergalactic Championship against Raven Darc in our main event! Also, Marcella will take on Rosinthorn in action. Blu De’Ragnarok will attempt to halt newbie Eblis Drakar’s momentum, and— seriously Ralph. O_o What’s wrong with you NOW?
Ralph: Look who’s in the ring already… AGAIN.

*Bob turns from his broadcast partner to see that Ric Austin is already inside the squared circle and one again, armed with a damn microphone!*

Bob: REALLY?! This is getting damned ridiculous!

Ric: Alright. e_e look—


*Ric tries to ignore the violent jeering from the crowd…*

Ric: I stubbed my toe last time in my match against Drakar. I get it. But that was a fluke. Tonight I’m going to prove myself, as the TXA TOURNAMENT CHAMPION by defeating the biggest dog in the yard. That’s right. I PERSONALLY challenged Xamot! Xamot, get your big zombie ass out here and let’s do this! You’re going to be my stepping stone to main eventing an episode of UCTF MASS—

*The Jobber’s speech is cut short by the instant darkening of the arena, a split second before “Forever Torment” begins to play over the massive UCTF sound system. Austin has his wish, as Xamot leads a spotlight down the aisle and towards the ring.*

Bob: And here comes Xamot, to answer the challenge of Ric Austin.
Ralph: I don’t know what’s wrong with this guy, but every week he becomes more and more erratic. I think he’s starting to come down with dementia or something.
Bob: Perhaps…

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to UCTF Massacre! The following is our opening contest. Introducing first, already inside the ring, RIIICC AUSTIN!!! And his opponent, making his way down the aisle, hailing from the bamboo forests of Japan… He is the Legendary Demon of the UCTF… XAAAAMOOTTTTT!!!

*Using every bit of strength he has and with the aid of the top rope, Ric slingshots his wide body over the top rope, successfully crash landing on top of Xamot’s body!*

Everyone: O_O!

Bob: Sneak attack by Ric!
Ralph: That will come back to bite him on the ass. Trust me. e_e

*Never the less, Ric Austin has a jump on the demon as the sound of the bell rings, officially starting the match up!*


Ric Austin vs. Xamot

*Determined to receive an amount of respect he feels he’s earned from the UCTF Crowd (I mean, this guy is pure, straight up human and has survived in the UCTF for years… I’d say he’s earned it) he launches a furious attack on the Legendary Demon of the UCTF! He rains down a string of punches to the skull that, unfortunately for Ric Austin, bare ZERO effect on the monster!*

Xamot: e_e

Ric: OH SH—

*Austin quickly aborts his attack and rolls off of Xamot in a half-assed attempt to escape. His wrestling worn body is way too slow, however, as he’s quickly snatched from behind. Now palming the jobber’s masked skull like a Lebron James holding a basketball, Xamot torpedoes the poor bastard across the floor and into the steps at the corner of the ring! The steps take off like a football player being caught flatfooted and crash into the fan’s guardrail with Ric Austin right behind it!*

Ralph: I told you.

*What’s more amazing than the impressive throw is the fact that Ric is almost immediately back to his feet. No one knows if it’s from pure toughness, drugs, or from years of being dumped on his head, but it’s enough to allow Ric Austin time to slide inside the ring and gain the higher ground on Xamot, who’s still yet to climb into the squared circle!*

Ralph: That mask must have some hella padding in it.
Bob: Or he’s just running on fumes. I’ve never seen anyone hit the stairs like that head first!

*Ric however, proves Bob wrong, displaying an immense presence of mind. Just as Xamot begins to climb onto the apron, Ric barrels forward, hitting a dropkick through the middle rope that connects with the demon’s mid-section! Xamot doubles over and flies several feet from the ring and onto the cold concrete below!*

Bob: Another big shot by Ric Austin!
Ralph: wait for it…

*Xamot absorbs the kick! Upon impact with the ground below, he rolls backward and to his feet in a single motion! He resumes stalking his prey by reclimbing the apron, while Ric Austin hits the opposing ropes, gaining speed like a locomotive!*

Bob: Here comes Ric again!

*The Enhancer dives once more for the drop kick, and this time, XAMOT catches his feet!*

Ric: O_O

*The crowd collectively groans as they know what is next to come for the poor Jobber! Xamot pulls the rotund masked wrestler out of the ring by his legs, and quickly locks on a goozle around his neck!*

Bob: Oh, this is not good!
Ralph: I told you to wait for it!

*Xamot climbs to the apron, then slowly climbs to the top rope! The entire time, his hold around the neck of the jobber tightens!*

Bob: This is not looking well for Ric Austin!
Ralph: He’s going to need to worry about re-learning how to walk soon. Forget about main eventing a UCTF Massacre show.

*Xamot then transforms into FULL demon capacity, taking to the sky, while choking the life out of Ric Austin!*

Bob: The top rope wasn’t enough! He’s taking Ric to the cheap seats!

*Seconds later, Xamot crash-lands in the center of the ring, delivering a devastating, thunderous “Demon Slam” in the center of the ring! The velocity causes the ring to buckle before it implodes upon itself. Austin is involved by the collapsing canvas while cables snap and the ropes fall apart. The poles supporting the ring all fall forward, creating an “X” in the center of the ring, making a make-shift marker for Ric Austin’s burial site!*

Ralph: Nothing starts off UCTF competition like a massive Ric Austin ass beating. That was incredible.

*The referee, who managed to dive out of the ring signals for the bell, as it would be an insult to everyone’s intelligence to make the count.*


Bob: And with one move, Xamot has defeated Ric Austin in UCTF competition! What a way to start off tonight’s broadcast!

Winner: Xamot

*Backstage, the one-time President of the UCTF, Jeice, finds himself cleaning the floors of the men’s bathroom in the Grand Arena.*

Jeice: ;_; Don’t call my name, don’t call my name, Alejandro, I’m not your babe, I’m not your babe, Fernando—

*The door kicks open, revealing the “Benefactor” of the UCTF and his personal assistant, Reiji!*

Sasa: Hey, asshole. >=| Where is Inuyasha? There’s some Japanese bitch from Japan who keeps calling. I’m getting tired of it.

Jeice: How the hell am I supposed to know?

Sasa: Word on the street is that you two have been hanging out a lot lately.

Reiji: e_e Caw.

Jeice: That’s none of your business. Go find him on your own mate. I’m workin’ here.

Sasa: Yeah, and you’re doing a shitty job of it. e_e Reiji.

*Reiji promptly, as if it were rehearsed, pulls out his manhood and takes what has to be the longest piss in the history of mankind right there on the floor!*

Jeice: Oh God… now THAT’S not going to sit well with the FCC.

Sasa: You missed a spot. e_e Oh, and if you see the mutt anywhere around here, tell him some slut named Kagome keeps calling talking about a “New Moon” and if she keeps wasting out long distance minutes, I’ll be forced to take it out of his paycheck.

*Sasa leaves, while Reiji spits on the floor before following him.*

Jeice: Wow.. that guy has a strong bladder…

*Back in the main arena, the fighting ring has been magically restored thanks to the work of the best ring crew in the business! Arzie stands in the center of the squared circle…*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall… Introducing first, hailing form Hellunia, and wielding the claymore known as the Blade of Corruption… he is known as EBLIS NICKLEHEART DRAKARRRR!!!

*Eblis makes his way down the aisle, preparing to take the next step in UCTF competition!*

Bob: Eblis debuted with an impressive victory over Ric Austin last time, and tonight, he will be facing the Blue Mage.
Ralph: The second match up matter in the UCTF. It’s real easy to steamroll some loser like Ric Austin, but in the next match you have to step up your game and fight someone who can actually defend themselves. Let’s see what happens.

*Once Eblis enters the ring, “Eternal Gravestones” begins to play. Blu De-Ragnarok makes his way down the aisle, determined to avenge his heartbreaking loss to Dimitri on our previous episode.*

Arzie: And introducing his opponent… hailing from Aht Urhgan, he wields the dual blades known as Tizona and Beast Slayer… He is known as the Blue Mage…. Welcomeeee BLU DE’RAGNAROK!!!!

*The crowd gives it up for Blu as he steps inside the squared circle as well. Arzie retreats as our match between the two young up and comers in the UCTF prepare to do battle.*

Bob: Alright! Let’s get this match underway!


Eblis Drakar vs. Blu De’Ragnarok

*Blu aggressively attacks following the sound of the bell towards Drakar, darts out of the Blue Mages path with such intense speed that for a moment it seems that he vanishes! His image reappears to the side of the off balance Mage, punishing Blu’s speed with a lightning fast punch to the side of the head, following a strike to the back with the flat of his claymore. The quick combination of attacks sends the Mage off his feet, crash landing face first on the canvas. That’s when the camera gets a few of the Mage’s back, as two strange and ominous marks remain from the strike point.*

Bob: Blu rushes in blindly and gets quickly dealt with!
Ralph: And it looks like Eblis left some sort of tattoo where he attacked. Don’t you have to sign a waiver before you agree to a tattoo?!
Bob: not in the UCTF!

*Just as the Mage rolls to his back, Drakar pounces, bringing the claymore down in a chopping motion! Blu, with both blades crisscrossed, blocks the blade. Driving his foot into the mid-section of his opponent, De’Ragnarok performs a makeshift monkey-flip with the aid of his weapons, sending Eblis crash-landing chin first into the canvas behind him. Both warriors quickly leap back to their feet simultaneously into their respective fighting stances, at a stalemate.*

Bob: Neither man want to let the other gain the upperhand this early in the contest.
Ralph: A lot is riding on this contest, Bob. Whoever wins gains momentum that could propel them closer to the Weaponmaster Championship.

*Now becoming the aggressor, Eblis charges towards Blu, swinging the five foot long Claymore around like it’s nothing more than a paperweight! Blu ducks the big decapitating strike, reacting with four quick slashes of his own! Eblis parries away every single attack with his weapon, following through with a big kick that sends De’Ragnarok into the ropes. Blu rebounds, using the momentum given to him by the ring ropes and strikes back; three more incredibly fast slashes of Blu’s two blades are batted away before the Mage falls victim to the hilt of Drakar’s claymore to the bridge of the nose! As Blu hits the canvas once more, the camera reveals more markings on his body, thanks to each strike he received in their quick exchange. Blu responds by performing a quick sweep to Eblis’ body, knocking the big man down to size! Both performers leap to their feet at the same time, creating another stalemate! *

Ralph: Looks like Blu just can’t match speed for speed with Eblis!
Bob: Eblis is dangerously fast on his feet for a man at his height, indeed. Blu gives away thirty pounds and 7 inches to his opponent.
Ralph: Right, and I have a bad feeling for those little marks that keep accumulating with each attack from the big guy.

*Retreating to the corner of the ring, Blu De’Ragnarok quickly casts a spell known as “Azure Learning” which will aid the Blue Mage in quickly learning his opponents fighting style.*

Ralph: Oh here we go with this magic bullshit. You know I tried to sit down and read this guy’s abilities the other day and he had like 3000 different spells to choose from. I gave up after 30 minutes.
Bob: He does have a large catalog of abilities Ralph! It makes it that much more difficult for his opponent to figure out what kind of attack he’s going to hit them with!

*The warriors charge each other once more! This time, with the aid of his technique, Blu begins to dodge every strike that Eblis can throw at him!*

Bob: Whatever Blu did, it seems to be working! Eblis can’t hit him!
Ralph: I’m not only calling bullshit, but I’m calling CHEATING!
Bob: How can you do that with no rules?!

*Blu leaps over a BIG slash and punishes with four charging strikes into Eblis!*

Bob: Vorpal Blade by De’Ragnarok!

*Charging one of the blades with pyro energy, Blu strikes Eblis down with another powerful strike!*

Bob: Red Lotus Blade by De’Ragnarok!

*Blu leaps into the air, driving the hilt of his blade right into Eblis’s skull! This brings Drakar down to his knees, easy prey for Blu’s next technique! Filling his blade with pure light energy, he delivers a slash that knocks Drakar clear across the ring!*

Bob: And he finishes with the Seraph Blade! Drakar is in big trouble now!
Ralph: Big trouble? It should be over after that blitzkrieg of attacks!

*Eblis slowly climbs to his knees, and is sporting a twisted grin on his face. And after a prompt ass beating that he just received, the crowd is understandably confused as to why he’s smiling. That is when Drakar begins an unintelligible chant of an ancient language that seems harmless at first, until the dark markings left on Blu’s body begins to spread and gather into a void like encasing of pure darkness!*

Blu: ?!

Ralph: I knew those tattoos were bad business! What’s about to happen?!
Bob: Hell if I know!

*Eblis uses “Now you’re Just like Me” a technique that corrupts his opponents very soul! Blu falls to the canvas in the fetal position, trying to stop Eblis’s invasion inside of his body. This allows Drakar to recover and unleash a flurry of lightning fast strikes!*

Bob: Eblis has turned this match around dramatically in a matter of seconds!
Ralph: I knew those marks were doing something! e_e

*Now with his clothes torn to shreds… and his body riddled with cuts throughout, Blu remains only slightly conscious on one knee, a fish in a barrel for Eblis, who stands above him, preparing to finish him off!*

Bob: This looks to be the end!

*The moment he lifts his blade into the air, Blu summons his spell, “Light of Penance” that engulfs his body and physically blocks Drakar’s attack seconds before it connects!*

Eblis: O_O

Everyone: O_O

Ralph: He’s like an iPhone, but instead of apps, he’s got a spell for that!

*Using “Azure Lore” to beef up all of his power, Blu puts it all into one final, massive uppercut that lands right on the chin of Drakar! The strike knocks the poor bastard off of his feet, sending him clear over the top rope and to the floor below!*

Crowd: OOOOH!!!

Ralph: Reminds me of that episode of Martin when “Hitman” Tommy Hearn knocked Martin literally out of the ring. HEH! I loved that show.

*The referee rushes to Eblis’ aid throwing his hands in front of the dark being’s face as he counts to ten. Drakar cannot respond and the referee quickly calls for the bell!*


Bob: And that’ll do it!
Ralph: That was one hell of a punch.
Bob: Blu De’Ragnarok recovers from his small speed bump at the hands of Dimitri last week and resumes his winning ways! Is the Weaponmaster Championship nearing his grasp?!

Winner: Blu De’Ragnarok

*Speaking of the Weaponmaster Championship, the cameras go to the back, as Inuyasha has entered the arena! The double champion has his usual stern look in his eyes, as in only a few moments from now, will face Raven Darc one more time for the Intergalactic Championship!*

Bob: There he is!
Ralph: I spoke to Raven Darc earlier today. He is NOT in a good mood. Hell, he hasn’t been in a good mood ever since he and Inuyasha’s Adamant Barrage crossed paths.

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall!

*“Super Villain” by Powerman 5000 starts up, bringing down the Negaverse Warrior, Rosinthorn*

Arzie: Introducing first… hailing from the Negaverse, he is the super villain known as ROSINTHORRNNNNNN!!

Bob: Here comes Rosinthorn, who has had his problems with Lo-Ruhamah over the past few weeks…
Ralph: so naturally, Sasa Dark thought it would be funny to put him in a match against Lo-Ruhamah’s significant other.
Bob: Why would you—
Ralph: OH COME ON. EVERYBODY KNOWS THEY’RE DOING IT. Don’t be an idiot, Bob.
Bob: okay o_o

*The magical being climbs into the ring, seconds before “Let Me Be Your Armor” begins to play over the sound system…*

Arzie: and his opponent… she is the disgraced demon huntress… being accompanied to the ring by her demonic Doberman, Clement… she is MARRRCEELLAAAA GRAAACCEEE!!!

Marcella: D:

Ralph: OUCH!
Bob: Arzie pulling no punches with ring announcing duty tonight… But he’s correct, things have been down for Marcella ever since her heartbreaking loss against the Dog Demon, Inuyasha.

*Marcella climbs into the ring, hoping to redeem herself with a win against Rosinthorn!*

Marcella Grace vs. Rosinthorn

Ralph: Uhh.. is it me, or does nun-puppies have a strange look in her eye tonight?
Bob: I haven’t noticed…


*And with the sound of the bell, Marcella flings her petite body across the ring towards her opponent!*

Everyone: O_O

Rosinthorn: O_O


*A quick, running clothesline almost takes the unsuspecting Rosinthorn out of his boots!*

Bob: Ok, maybe there IS something different about her tonight! I’ve never seen her act so aggressively so early on!

*Rosinthorn quickly regains his bearings after the surprising clothesline and quickly teleports off of the mat. Less than a second later, dark energy manifests itself behind Marcella, as Rosinthorn reappears. He brings his sword with a quick downward slash in attempt to disembowel the nun, but is surprised by Marcella’s quick read! She blocks the sword strike with her own blade, before delivering a vicious front kick to the chest! Knocked clear out of the sky, Rosinthorn teleports before his body can hit the ground. He reappears once more on the top turnbuckle behind Grace.*

Bob: Quick reaction time there by Grace!
Ralph: Definitely.

*The “Super Villain,” ready to put an end to this fight just as early as his opponent, suddenly conjures his “B.F.G.” a gigantic, even comical like gun that he has pulled from the nether regions of his trench coat. Marcella’s eyes double in size at the sight of the weapon, just before instinctively throwing her body out of the way of several laser blasts emitted from the gargantuan gun!*

Ralph: holy CRAP! Compensating much, Rosinthorn?!

*Marcella leaping out of the past of the beam is exactly what Rosinthorn wanted her to do, as he now explodes across the ring in a blur, yanking his sword from it’s sheath in an instant! However, what he didn’t expect was for Marcella to be equally as fast to unearth her twin DESERT EAGLE pistols! Marcella gets off two shots which are parried away by Rosinthorn’s blade. Fearing being hit, Rosinthorn teleports again, leaving Marcella to dive roll into a crouching position.*

Bob: if you blinked, you may have just missed that exchange!

*Now alone inside the squared-circle, Marcella spins around with her pistols drawn, trying to locate her now missing opponent.*


* Unfortunately, she fails to check directly above her! The unsuspecting villain plants a MASSIVE missile drop kick directly to the nun’s face! The momentum of being hit from such a ridiculous height sends Marcella rolling backwards, with her pistols flying out of the ring!*

Bob: What an INCREDIBLE kick from Rosinthorn!

*Much to her credit, Marcella wills herself back to her feet, quickly re-engaging her opponent with a flurry of strikes! Rosinthorn, easily the more polished hand-to-hand fighter effortlessly blocks every strike that the blurred Marcella can throw at him, before quickly putting her into the mat with a stiff strike!*

Ralph: uh oh…
Bob: Marcella started strong, but Rosinthorn has quickly taken control of this match-up! Marcella needs to think quickly before this match gets out of control!

*It may be too late for the nun, as Rosinthorn’s sadistic side begins to shine through… Using his dark-arts, tentacle like limbs emerge from his jacket, wrapping themselves around the leg of the nun! Looking towards the hard camera with a sick smirk, it’s almost as if Thorny is calling out to Lo-Ruhamah before lifting Marcella upside down via tentacle!*

Ralph: Now.. I.. I’ve seen a lot of movies that start out like this.
Bob: Ralph Shutup!
Ralph: I’m just saying.. we might be getting ready to see some vintage 1999 UCTF stuff here.

*Luckily for all of us, Ralph’s pervish suggestion is proven wrong. Rosinthorn slams Marcella into the canvas viciously by the leg, lifts her up, and repeats the motion a second time! The crowd winces with sympathy pains as their forced to watch their beloved heroine jarred into the mat from atleast seven feet up!*

Bob: CHRIST!! She has to be unconscious after those two slams!
Ralph: If not… it looks like Rosie is going for a third…

*Rosinthorn does just that, slamming the petite body of the nun into the canvas as if he’s trying to put her THROUGH it! And he’s one done.. upon the third slam, Rosinthorn sends a jolt of dark energy through his tentacle, rocking the nun with a massive ki blast!*

Bob: A third slam followed by that hellacious blast!! That’s enough Rosinthorn! That’s got to be it!

*Marcella lies motionless, leaving Rosinthorn to casually stroll over to her prone body and placing his foot on her chest. The referee quickly slides into position…*

1… 2… 2.9999999999

*But it’s no good! Grace SOMEHOW kicks out of the pin attempt!*

Ralph: a total lax pin attempt, but it shouldn’t have mattered.. after all that punishment nun-puppies just took… nobody should have been able to get up from that!

*Still completely out of it, Marcella is easy pickings for Rosinthorn, who goozles her before tossing her AIRBORNE!*


*She lands on his shoulders, upside down and hooked!*

Ralph: OH NO!
Bob: Fall from Grace Driver!

*Preparing to dump Marcella on her head, Rosinthorn is quickly surprised by his opponents ability to wiggle her way out of the Fall From Grace driver, into a school-boy roll up!*


*Again, the referee is in PERFECT position for the count!*

1…. 2… 2.9999999999999!!!

*And again, at the last POSSIBLE second, the pinned kicks out of the attempt!*

Ralph: I almost had a heart attack!
Bob: And how ironic would it have been for Marcella to be defeated via the “Fall from Grace” Driver?

*Almost defeated, but sensing victory EVER so close, Rosinthorn grabs Marcella’s leg, which he abused just seconds earlier with his tentacle slams… He wraps his demonic legs around hers in a grapevine type hold before falling backwards!*

Bob: Submission locked by Rosinthorn!! This is bad news for Marcella!
Ralph: I spoke to Rosinthorn earlier.. he calls this the “Pride Breaker” he’s simultaneously trying to break the leg, while sending dark thoughts into the head of his opponent in an attempt to break them… to get them to submit.
Bob: You… spoke to this guy backstage?
Ralph: We were in line at KFC, which is why is was very strange for him to be talking about submission holds to me.

*The pain is almost unbearable for Marcella to withstand! As all hope disintegrates before the audiences eyes, Marcella reaches into her coat, struggling to find something to break the hold. Her prayers are answered in the form of a 28-inch barrel shotgun!*

Rosinthorn: o_o
Marcella: x_e applesauce.



Bob: o_o…
Ralph: …that was a direct shot to the face with a shotgun. Bob, do we still have a rule that we have to use non-lethal ammo here?
Bob: Yes, but at that range Ralph, you could be shooting a box of confetti and it would still hurt like a bitch!

*Rosinthorn is almost completely incapacitated from the blast, allowing Marcella to slide herself out of the tight submission attack. Slowly climbing to her feet, Marcella is greeted by the cheers of the crowd, screaming for her to get up before her much stronger opponent, Rosinthorn does!*

Bob: This is a race to the feet! Who will win?!

*Marcella uses the rest of her strength to dive on top of Rosinthorn! Ralph becomes effectively jealous when she straddles the villain, but not for long, as Grace brandishes both of her semi-automatic weapons from her jacket!*

Ralph: holy crap! Where does she get such wonderful toys?!


Bob: BAPTISM IN BLOOD BY MARCELLA! We haven’t seen this in AGES!

*The spray of gunfire render Rosinthorn completely unconscious, with Marcella collapsing on top of the negaverse villain! The referee is right there to make the academic count…*

1……… 2…………. 3!!!!!


Bob: And it’s over! Great win for Marcella Grace!
Ralph: That was one hell of a come back… I need to talk to Both of their tailers to see how I can fit a bunch of shit inside my coat like them… Jesus.

Winner: Marcella Grace

*Marcella rolls off of her defeated opponent, while Clement enters the ring, licking his exhausted owner’s face.*

Bob: What a great match to lead into our main event… and folks, it is a DOOZY.
Ralph: Inuyasha and Raven Darc’s feud began many months ago…

*The Jumbotron begins to show footage from back in 2007, the night Inuyasha and Raven Darc first met in a match to determine the UCTF Grand Champion… The Dog Demon and Multiple time Intergalactic Champion traded some of their biggest attacks with The Windscar and the Black Hole Nova Blast, but Inuyasha’s dominance was established when he eliminated Raven Darc with the “Adamant Barrage” in the center of the ring!*

Bob: The rivalry was born that night, and would continue through the months!

February 24th 2008

*Lifting Raven back to his feet by his torn, destroyed shirt, Inuyasha drives the champion HEAD FIRST into the steel pole in the corner!*


Bob: X_X JESUS!!

*Pulling Raven out, he DRIVES him back into the pole, driven with enough force to SNAP the cables holding the ropes together! The entire ring begins to break down around them!*

Bob: D:!!!!

*Bleeding internally from the mouth and nose, Raven is CLEARLY unconscious! But INUYASHA DOESN’T CARE!*

Inuyasha: >=|!!!!!!!!!!

*Inuyasha flies several feet through the air, driving the demon HEAD FIRST into the center of the ring! Raven folds up like a damn accordion! The referee singals for help, as several more come RUSHING to the ring! Before they manage to enter the ring, Inuyasha FLOORS Raven one final time to the face with a BIG TIME boot to the face!*


*They FINALLY separate Inuyasha from the DESTROYED Raven! The referee in charge FINALLY ringing the bell to end the match!*


Bob: o_o. oh my God.


Bob: Amazing, New Intergalactic Champion. And I gotta tell you… I’ve NEVER. EVER seen Raven Darc dominated like he was tonight! I mean… JESUS! You had to know the person to finally come along and end Raven Darc’s title reign would have to be one tough son of a bitch but… …Jesus!

Ralph: Raven Darc’s reign as Intergalactic Champion would end at the hands of the Dog Demon on that night. He swore revenge. Several months later, the two would meet one more time in the finals of the “Only The Strong” tournament…

September 27th 2008
Ultimate Massacre II

Raven: …..

*Tessaiga fires the MASSIVE shards of Adamant towards Raven Darc, who drives the Silver Talon into the remains of the ring.*


*A wave of silver energy surrounds Raven, not only blocking the shards of Diamond, but DESTROYING it on contact! The column of surrounding ki extends what seems to be limitlessly! It shoots past the Arena with ease and disappears into the heavens! More and more energy pour into Raven as the demon unleashes a SADISTIC smile on his face! Inuyasha shows, for the very first time in his career.. FEAR. PARALYZING FEAR!*

Inuyasha: …

*The column is suddenly redirected towards Inuyasha and any poor son of a bitch who’s behind him! Inuyasha attempts to leap out of the way, but it’s useless! He’s engulfed by Raven Darc’s ultimate attack and sent FLYING into the cheap seats!*

Crowd: O____O!!

Bob and Ralph: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!

*Inuyasha hits the balcony of the Arena, INSTANTLY destroying it and creating a crater with his own body! Raven falls to his knees… The Talon is long gone, as well as his full demon mode. He lies there, gasping for breath. Glen Sanchos reappears out of no where, trying to figure out what’s going on.*

Glen: R..R… Raven.. You alright?

*Raven slowly stands back to his feet…*

Raven: e_e… g…g..give me my Strong Man Trophy.

Crowd: *POPS* X_X

Ralph: x_x Jesus.

Referee: RING THE BE–


Everyone: ……

Raven: …………

Ref: …………

Bob: NO-

*Inuyasha shoves a bolder that used to be part of the Arena off of him, several feet above in the cheap seats, The Dog Demon IS STILL CONSCIOUS!*


*Glen looks around..*

Glen: uhh.. Raven.. o_o Do you see a ring anywhere?

*THERE IS NONE. Both the ref and Raven are in the middle of a fucking Crater!*


*Raven goes BERSERK! What the FUCK is it going to take to defeat this son of a bitch from Feudal Japan?! Using his reserves, He re-transforms back into his full demon form. He manifests the Steel Talon, as he’s too weak to re-manifest the Silver. With a GIANT leap, he bounds from the crater that used to be the ring to the crater that used to be the cheap seats! He lands RIGHT on Inuyasha! Driving his Steel Talon towards the Hanyou for the killing strike, Raven’s blow is blocked by Tessaiga, that’s in it’s pure, regular sword form!*

Inuyasha: arrghhh..ARRRRAGGGHH!!

*Tessaiga flares up! Inuyasha tries to push Raven off but he’s driven back into the crater HARD!*

Inuyasha: n..n..NEVER!!

*The Tessaiga begins to glow a green hue, as scales of a Dragon slowly begin to cover the blade until it’s completely Engulfed!*

Bob: W..what’s going on?!

*Raven’s dark energy begins to POUR from his body, and into the blade of Tessaiga itself!*

Inuyasha: h..heh… D-Dragon Scaled Tessaiga… I’m taking your own Demonic Energy…. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

*Tessaiga sucks Raven’s demonic energy right out of him to the point that Raven REVERTS out of his Full demon form!*

Raven: ARRRGGHGHHHH I’m going to .. Find out the secret to that damn blade!
Inuyasha: NOT TONIGHT!!

*Inuyasha drives his foot into Raven’s chest before pushing him off into the distance!*



*The Dragon Scale powered Wind Scar catches Raven in mid-air, COMPLETELY obliterating him in the process!*


Bob: DUCK!!
Ralph: OH FU–

*Raven flies past the Commentators tower before crashing THROUGH the jumbotron!*

Bob: Inuyasha once again defeated Raven Darc and become the #1 contender to the UCTF Grand Championship… However tonight, before he goes on face Kunoi Ishigami for the Grand Championship, he must take on his most loathed enemy once more, for the Intergalactic Championship!
Ralph: Raven Darc has been stewing over his frequent losses to Inuyasha for years now… Tonight, I could see in his eyes, he’s hit Inuyasha with EVERYTHING that he has to regain what he claims is “HIS” championship belt.
Bob: Can they take it to a level even higher than their Ultimate Massacre battle? We’ll find out as Inuyasha will take on Raven Darc NEXT!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen… the following match up is the MAIN EVENT of this evening, and is for the Intergalactic Championship!!!

*”Halo” by Soil kicks up first, creating an instant rumbling throughout the UCTF capacity crowd!*

Arzie: Introducing first… hailing from Hayborn, Scotland… He is the former UCTF Intergalactic Champion.. RAAAVVVEENNNN DARRCCCCC!!!

*The Giant Scotsman walks to the ring with little fanfare, but his eyes show that he is more focused than ever! Once inside the ring, his music subsides, leaving an eerie silence throughout the arena. Tension slowly builds throughout the capacity crowd few a few moments before the horns of “Hanyou” Begins playing. The crowd explodes, as The Dog Demon slowly saunters onto the stage, carrying both the Weaponmaster and Intergalactic Championships on each shoulder.*

Arzie: And his opponent, hailing from the Feudal Era of Japan… He is the simultaneous holder of the Weaponmaster and Intergalactic Championships…. Welcome the Dog Demon… INUUUUYASSSSHAAAA!!!!

Bob: And here comes the champion!
Ralph: He doesn’t look happy, following the beating he received at the hands of Raven Darc last night.
Bob: Indeed.
Ralph: by the way… How are you holding up following that—
Bob: I don’t want to talk about it. e_e My Lawyers are handling it as we speak.

*The Champion makes a slow climb up the stairs, before pacing the apron of the ring. He slowly steps in between the ropes, never taking his eyes off of his opponent.*

Ralph: Both men are inside the ring… make your bets as to how long the actual ring stays intact…

*The belts are soon surrendered, and the referee wisely backs away from the two enemies. Inuyasha takes two steps towards the center of the ring, as well as Raven Darc, until they’re face to face in the center of the squared circle.*

Bob: Here we go! The main event is under-way! Who will leave the arena tonight as the Intergalactic Champion?!


UCTF Intergalactic Championship
Raven Darc vs. Inuyasha

*With the match officially under way, the crowd stirs in anticipation as Inuyasha and Raven Darc refuse to make the first move. All that’s happening for the first few moments of the contest are the respective lips moving from both competitors, as the Arena noise drowns out whatever conversation they’re having with each other.*

Ralph: What do you think they’re talking about??
Bob: I don’t know, but whatever it is, I’ll wager that it isn’t very nice.

*A shove from Inuyasha proves Bob’s point, followed by a stinging slap to the face! That’s right. Darc didn’t even respect Inuyasha enough to PUNCH him in the face like a man, instead choosing the option of slapping the taste out of his mouth! The Dog Demon reels from the bitch slap, slowly recoiling in shock!*

Ralph: I don’t like the look in his eye!

*Inuyasha reacts as one would expect, by attempting to shatter Raven’s chin into pieces with a right hand! Raven doesn’t even attempt to block the attack, taking the full brunt of Inuyasha’s strike right on the chin, before blasting the Intergalactic Champion with a right of his own! The crowd pops as a pier six quickly manifests from the two strikes, as now both men are raining down scores of blows upon each other in the center of the ring!*

Bob: It’s begun! The match the fans have been waiting so long to see! Both Half –demons are rocking each other with strikes! Who will buckle from the pain first?!

*The Intergalatic Champion seemingly staggers backwards from a strike, but actually throws himself backwards into the ropes to gain momentum for a haymaker. This proves WAY too obvious, as Raven easily telegraphs the attempt, hitting Inuyasha with a DEEP arm drag that drives him into the mat! However, the Dog Demon is back to his feet damn near faster than Raven Darc, and charges towards the former champion! The accomplished wrestler snatches the Hanyou out of the air with a vicious belly to belly suplex! Inuyasha lands terribly, bouncing off his head and crash landing onto the ropes!*

Ralph: Jesus!

*It’s not enough to keep the bastard down, as he’s damn near instantly back up. Now it’s RAVEN who charges towards his opponent, quickly getting tossed over the top rope and to the floor with a massive back body drop!*

Bob: Raven sent sailing over the top!

*The back body drop sends Darc airborne, but the agile half-demon twists his body quickly in mid-air, landing a perfect ten on the outside of the ring. He doesn’t have time to muse over his athletic ability however, as the second he turns around, his eyes widen at the side of the Intergalactic Champion launching himself over the top rope! Inuyasha’s claws are drawn…*

Inuyasha: Iron Reaver, SOU—

*The Soul Stealer attack is countered by Raven’s “MILLION CHAINS” technique, literally suspending The Dog Demon in midair!*

Bob: Reversal!

*Raven quickly drives Inuyasha face first into the concrete, to a deafening, collective groan from the capacity crowd. After the impressive face plant served to Inuyasha, Raven reels Inuyasha in like a giant bass across the ringside area. The moment the Champion is within arms-reach, Raven locks his arm around Inuyasha’s neck!*


*Inuyasha quickly shifts his center of gravity to block the Endless Waltz, then uses his BRUTE strength to lift Raven right off the ground…*

Ralph: Oh that’s not good!
Bob: I agree! This could be bad news for Raven Darc here!

*Inuyasha charges across the ringside area while carrying Raven Darc over his shoulder like a football tackling dummy. Aiming precisely, Inuyasha RAMS the corner pole of the ring; a direct BULLSEYE on Raven’s wound where his wing once was! At the exact moment, Raven unleashes electricity through his million chains, sending enough voltage through Inuyasha to power a Japanese nuclear facility! Both men nearly black out from the pain, meanwhile, the entire ring SHIFTS a few degrees from the pure force!*

Bob: And it’s just starting! What an amazing display by both competitors!

*Both men are back up within seconds, and they resume trading soup bones on the outside of the ring to a massive ovation from the crowd…*

Bob: Neither man backing down an inch!
Ralph: Except Inuyasha’s gaining the upperhand with those heavy handed rights! We’ve learn it’s never a good idea to stand and take punches from the Dog Demon!

*Raven staggers backwards, rocked from several strikes to the face, only to be nailed in the gut with a big kick from the barefooted half-demon! He’s quickly tossed back into the ring, with Inuyasha closely behind him…*

Bob: Inuyasha now in control, he’s stalking his prey!

*Darc slowly rolls to his knees, begging his opponent to show mercy! It’s the oldest trick in the book and Inuyasha falls right for the NUTSHOT! He slowly falls to the canvas while clutching his aching lower extremities, while Raven stands back up, soaking in the jeers from the crowd.*

Bob: Oh Come on! BLATANT low blow there!

*Somewhere in Anime City…*

Bryan: e_e lol. Heel.

*Back in the arena, it is now Raven Darc who’s stalking Inuyasha. Grabbing the half demon by his long silver locks, Raven stuffs Inuyasha’s head between his knees, before lifting him upside down. Darc leaps into the air, hitting his “Downward Spyral” piledriver right in the center of the canvas!*

Bob: HUUUGE piledriver by Raven Darc!

*Wisely, Darc does NOT let up on Inuyasha! Yanking the Hanyou back to his feet, Raven lifts Inuyasha into the same position, before hitting a SECOND Downward Spyral in the center of the ring!*

Bob: THAT’S INCREDIBLE! A SECOND PILEDRIVER! That’s gotta—wait… He’s picking him up AGAIN!?
Ralph: This is Inuyasha, we’re talking about here, Bob.
Bob: Touche… He’s going to make sure Inuyasha stays down this time!

*Raven has Inuyasha upside down once more, and DROPS him with a third leaping piledriver! Inuyasha’s body goes stiff, much like when Ivan “The Urban Action Figure” wiped out on “America’s got Talent” before landing perfectly spread-eagled in the center of the ring! There’s no movement from the champion, but Raven Darc has learned his lesson from the MANY encounters he’s had with Inuyasha. He’s going to the top rope!*

Ralph: Raven looking to put away Inuyasha… Whatever he’s going for on the top rope might do the job!

*The old man dives off the top rope, hitting an impressive senton bomb right across the ribs of Inuyasha! The SECOND he lands from the impact, he rolls over, quickly pinning the Dog Demon!*


Ref: 1……

*Inuyasha KICKS OUT AT ONE!*

Everyone: O_O

Ralph: Inuyasha KICKS OUT AT ONE!
Bob: Raven Darc is LIVID! Three Piledrivers and that AMAZING senton from the top and Inuyasha didn’t even have enough respect to kick out at 2.9 seconds!

*Raven slowly stands up from the pin attempt, leaving Inuyasha to quickly crawl to the ropes. As Inuyasha pulls himself to his feet, he mutters soft, inaudible words to Raven Darc…*

Inuyasha: e_e How about we just skip the pleasantries?

*The utter disrespect in the champion’s voice instantly sets off Raven Darc, who’s body EXPLODES with thunderous ki surrounding him! No more game playing, as Raven conjures up his ultimate weapon, his ace card… the Silver Talon!*


*At the exact moment, Inuyasha unsheathes Tessaiga! The blade instantly flares up, and both men rush toward each other!*


*The Commentator’s emphatic words are drowned out by the sound of the colliding ki in the center of the ring. Raven’s black energy and Inuyasha’s demonic energy knock their respective opponents back several steps, giving each competitor room to draw their blades for another attack.*

Inuyasha: KAZE NO KIZU!!

*Raven’s Black Lightning Wave meets the Wind Scar, instantly eradicating the ring! The unlucky fans in the first few rows of the Arena are sent packing as blinding light from both attacks fills the arena! Once the enormous dueling kis subside, The Intergalactic Champion and Darc remain standing in the same spot, but now are in a crater of their own creation.*

Ralph: And there goes the ring… again.
Bob: Folks, take note. That wasn’t even their strongest attack!

*The Intergalactic Champion grins at Raven Darc…*

Inuyasha: You’re not nearly as tired as you were the first time you brought out your Silver Talon… I see someone’s been practicing.
Raven: …
Inuyasha: But how many more Kaze no Kizu’s can you handle before you pass out again? I can do ‘em all day, Darc!

*Darc instantly powers up, as Inuyasha lifts Tessaiga over his head one more time!*

Inuyasha: KAZE NO KIZUUUU!!!

*Raven is engulfed by the Windscar, with only his ki to protect him from Inuyasha’s primary attack. He eats the brunt of the blast like a man, while coming up with a strategy of his own…*


*The Dog Demon raises the blade once more, but THIS time, Raven Darc has a surprise waiting for him. Silver Talon’s hilt chain elongates within an instant, driving itself through the concrete that one held the squared circle and back out of the ground, inches behind Inuyasha.*

Inuyasha: WHAT THE—

*The Hilt’s limitless chain wraps completely around Inuyasha, from his feet all the way to his raised arms, wrapping itself around the hilt of Tessaiga! Inuyasha is left defenseless, and wide open for Raven Darc’s next attack.*

Raven: e_e You talk too much. RRAAAAAAGGHHHH!!

*The demon lets out a roaring kiai-shout, sending thousands of volts of electricity through the hilt of Silver Talon into the prone body of Inuyasha! The dog demon screams of agony fill the arena all the way to its brim! Raven leans backwards, winding his blade up like a baseball bat, before unleashing another Black Lightning Wave! Now it is Inuyasha that’s caught head on, and not even the robe of the fire rat can protect the Intergalactic Champion from it!*’



*Inuyasha lays spread out on the canvas several feet away, barely clutching his blade, but he’s still moving. Raven Darc, who’s now breathing noticeably heavier than before, refuses to allow Inuyasha to get back to his feet!*


*The monster leaps atleast twenty feet in the air before gravity takes over! Silver Talon is positioned to run right through the Dog Demon and FINALLY put this rivalry to a rest!*

Bob: He’s going to cut right through Inuyasha with that jagged blade!!!

*A SECOND before impact, Inuyasha raises the hilt of Tessaiga, blocking the Silver Talon in mid-air! The crowd lets out a collective exasperated sigh as The Champion monkey flips Raven Darc over his head!*

Ralph: Wow, fast thinking there.
Bob: Inuyasha is a warrior! He has amazing presence of mind at all times!

*The monkey flip may have saved the Dog Demon’s skin, but Raven Darc displays AMAZING agility (for someone of his age) by twisting out of the assault and landing perfectly on his feet. He rushes the Dog Demon who’s has still yet to stand, BLASTING him with Lightning slash that knocks the champion off of the ground!*

Bob: Another stream of electricity sends Inuyasha flying!

*Crashing into the far corner of the ring, Inuyasha fights through the thousands of volts of pain coursing through his body before unleashing a… Smile?*

Bob: Oh no! Even after that assault, Inuyasha is SMILING. That can’t be good news for Raven!

Inuyasha: If that’s all you got old man, then we might as well just go ahead and end this battle right now. ARRRGGHHH!!

*Inuyasha, no longer finding this fight against his biggest rival amusing, finally says it’s OVER. The Tessaiga begins to glow green, while dragon scales begin to grow over the sharp blade!*

Bob: Right Ralph! Our champion has unleashed the very move that defeated Raven Darc in their last meeting!

*Raven can FEEL the demonic energy being ripped out of his body. In a final, vain attempt to fight back, Raven throws all of the energy he can muster through the blade and into Inuyasha, who easily absorbs it.*

Bob: Another Lightning Stream proves useless! Not good for the former IG Champion!
Ralph: Nighty Night Raven!

*The champion slowly lifts Tessaiga over his head… His battle energy begins to surge!*

Raven: lol, fuck e_e

*The moment Inuyasha brings his blade down to destroy Raven with Dragon Scaled Wind Scar, Inuyasha’s eyes widen as he sees Tessaiga has reverted back to a normal, samurai blade, and even wider when he realizes his hair color has changed to jet black!*

Inuyasha: o_o.. oh… oh no.

*The new moon sits high above the UCTF Arena, stealing away all of the Intergalactic Champions demon energy! What stands now before Raven Darc is a perfectly normal, vulnerable human being!*

Everyone: ………..

Bob: ………
Ralph: What the hell just happened?!
Bob: Inuyasha is a dead man, that’s what.

Raven: …………. hehehehahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*Raven instantly begins to focus ALL of his energy into his next, and obviously final attack against the Inuyasha! Lightning flows down from the heavens as more and more ki is formed into an ultimate attack! The Champion, now acting on pure instinct, rushes towards Raven Darc! No, NOT to attack him, but to run past his opponent and make his way up the ramp! That’s right! He’s borrowing Ranma Saotome’s ultimate attack: THE FAST BREAK! Yes, Titles change in the UCTF via count outs, but Inuyasha doesn’t give a shit! He’s getting the HELL out of dodge and he’s doing it now!*

Ralph: Great idea! Live to fight another day! Screw the Intergalactic Championship!

*Just as Inuyasha reaches the top of the ramp, Raven Darc finishes focusing his attack! He turns towards the ring entrance…*

Bob: O_O! OH—
Ralph: SHIT!!!


*The commentators IMMEDIATELY abandon ship once they realize where the attack will be heading! They DIVE as well as Inuyasha just as the entire entrance of the Arena is engulfed with Raven’s full power!*


*The smoke clears, revealing the demolished jumbotron and collapsed commentators tower. The ramp has collapsed leaving the stage barely hanging by a thread.*

Everyone: D:!!

*Grabbing a hold of his headset, Bob slides the hanging device over his head.*

Bob: is..is this thing still on? >=| YES. WE’RE STILL LIVE! Raven Darc just used his Silver Wave, which almost killed Ralph and I. I shudder to think what has happened to Inuyasha, who took the full brunt of that blast!
Ralph: What, you’re still working? I thought it was a rule that whenever our tower gets destroyed, we’re DONE for the night!
Bob: Shoot, Ralph. Inuyasha just got BLOWN UP. It IS the end of the night! What’s another minute and a half?!

*Seeing no other reason to keep this match going, The referee prepares to call for the bell, until the crowd POPS huge! He and Raven Darc slowly turn towards the entrance. Both are dumbfounded to see that SOMEHOW, the very human Inuyasha is pulling himself out of the wreckage!*

Raven: OH COME ON! >=|

Bob: I don’t know how, but this tough son of a bitch, with ZERO powers has just pulled himself out of the debris that used to be the Jumbotron!
Ralph: Which wasn’t a good idea! You should have stayed down, kid! Raven’s marching his way up the ramp!

*Raven bet EVERYTHING into that move, and now he’s just as weakened as Inuyasha. His sword is gone and he’s almost at the point of blacking out! With no ramp, he has to CLIMB up to the stage, proving he learned NOTHING from Star Wars Episode Three! Never attack a man who has the high ground! Inuyasha uses the last of his strength to drop kick Raven right in the face! The weakened demon loses his grip on the stage, falling ten feet onto ground below! Darc screams in TERRIBLE pain, as he lands RIGHT on top of the sharp end of Tessaiga that was perfectly positioned below him!*

Crowd: UGGHHHH!!!

Ralph: …you gotta be kidding me here… Don’t tell me that…

*Yes, IT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN, Ralph. Despite the incredible differences in power, Inuyasha flings his body off of the stage, allowing gravity to do the rest of the work for him! He lands right on top of Raven, which buries the blade of Tessaiga even DEEPER into his back! The wound where Raven’s wing used to be opens up, blood begins to flood the destroyed ramp area as the referee comes out of NO WHERE.*

Ref: 1……… 2………..

Crowd: THREEE!!!!


*The crowd pops HUGE as somehow, Raven Darc is miraculously defeated by Inuyasha! The commentary team are too stunned for words!*

Bob and Ralph: ….


Winner and STILL UCTF Intergalactic Champion: Inuyasha

Bob: ………
Ralph: So uhh… o_o.. Kunoi’s losing his belt at Cyberslam, huh?
Bob: Pretty much.
Ralph: ….
Bob: ….
Ralph: so, uhh…
Bob: For Ralph Gerrard, this is Bob saying Goodnight.

*Finally, BOTH commentators corpse right on camera!*




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