Rosinthorn vs. Ric Austin | Blu De’Ragnarok vs. Xamot | Dimitri vs. Lo-Ruhamah | Kunoi Ishigami vs. Xiu Shields | X-23 vs. Inuyasha

Untitled Document

Last Episode

*The video feed replays to the last episode of UCTF: Massacre, with Sasa Dark slowly sauntering down to the ring.*

Sasa: Tonight, I am allowing my favorite piece of scum the chance to begin making money again, as I’m officially REINSTATING Kunoi Ishigami back into active competition. In fact, I’m even going to place him in the main event next week, as he will face XIU SHIELDS’ on the next episode of Massacre. And Kunoi… I hope you win that match. =3 I want you to enjoy your last time ever winning a contest inside this Arena, because at the next pay per view, CYBERSLAM VIII You will be defending your championship TWICE in one night!!! This time Kunoi. You’re GOING to lose. You’re GOING to be embarrassed, because these two proved themselves not to be total failures at Ultimate Massacre II!

*The package flashes to X-23 and Inuyasha winning their respective tournaments to claim their Strong Woman and Strong Man championships.*


*The video package feed fades, before we cut to the inside of the UCTF Arena, where the fans are being showered by pyrotechnical explosions from the top of the open air arena!*

Bob: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to tonight’s edition of UCTF: SATURDAY MASSACRE! I am Robert Hinden, along side my great colleague and friend, Ralph Gerard!
Ralph: Thanks, and I cannot WAIT for tonight’s broadcast! The #1 contender to the UCTF Grand Championship, Inuyasha will take on the OTHER #1 Contender, X-23 in tonight’s main event!
Bob: And let’s not forget the RETURN of Kunoi Ishigami, fresh off of his suspension will take on Xiu Shields! But right now, let’s join Arzie who’s preparing to introduce our opening match…

*We cut to the hard camera facing the ring, which displays the UCTF Ring Announcer Arzie, with RIC AUSTIN already inside the ring standing behind him. HOW DOES HE DO THAT?!?!*


Crowd: *POPS!*

Arzie: The following is our opening contest, and it is scheduled for one fall… Introducing first, already inside the ring… He is The Leader of the New NEW UCTF Revolution… RRIICCCCCC AUSTTTINNNN!!!!

*The masked superstar throws his fat arms into the air to a MASSIVE chorus of boos from the crowd!*

Arzie: And his opponent… making his UCTF debut…

*”Supervillain” by Powerman5000 keys up, bringing down the newest member of the UCTF roster…*

Arzie: hailing from the NEGAVERSE… he stands at an incredible six feet, seven inches, and weighs in tonight at one hundred, sixty one pounds… He is… ROOOSSIIIIIINNNTHORRRRNNN!

*The skinny, long haired warrior created in the labs of the Negaverse (Yes.. That negaverse. From Sailor Moon. e_e) slowly marches his way down the aisle.*

Bob: Rosinthorn, making his first trip down the aisle of the UCTF Arena… Will he be victorious in his debut against Ric Austin?
Ralph: As long as he’s not hit by a freakin’ meteor on his way down to the ring, of COURSE he is. Shit, I’m sure even if he’s hit by one, he’s still got one hell of an advantage over Austin…

*The Newb climbs through the ropes, prepared to make a name for himself in his first official match up…*


Ric Austin vs. Rosinthorn

*The sound of the bell means our first match is underway, and Ric Austin quickly rushes into battle full speed! Swinging wildly, Ric misses Rosinthorn COMPLETELY as the villain simply teleports out of the way, causing Ric to fly face first into the turnbuckle in front of him! Rosinthorn reappears a nanosecond later, directly behind Ric Austin. His back is turned to the masked wrestler, showing blatant disrespect!*

Bob: Brilliant speed shown there by Rosinthorn!
Ralph: Look at him, he won’t even stand face to face with Ric!

*Ric stumbles back to his feet, befuddled and embarrassed, he charges back towards Rosinthorn once more! As he advances on his opponent, his movements slow down, until he’s literally stuck in his pose. It’s as if he’s trying to push an invisible door made of lead!*

Ralph: is.. is Rosinthron..

*Never turning to face his opponent, Rosinthorn tosses Ric backwards with a mere THOUGHT! His telekinetic blast sends Ric rolling backwards into the corner like a bowling ball! The pudgy wrestler strikes the corner, and flails wildly under the bottom rope before he lands HEAD FIRST on the concrete floor below!*

Crowd: OOOOHHH!!

Bob: And Austin’s sent out of the ring with a sickening thud!
Ralph: Ok Ric, if you want to live to lose another day, just stay down on the outside of that ring! It doesn’t even look like Rosinthorn wants to fight you!

*Wise advice by Ralph, The Hentai commentator, but do you actually expect Ric Austin to listen?! As Rosinthorn curiously peers over the top rope, Ric springs from the floor, driving his forearm right into the Negaverse Villain’s crotch! Now, no matter who you are or how powerful you are, a blow to the gonads will ALWAYS work!*


*Rosinthorn stumbles to the center of the ring, allowing Ric to climb into the squared circle, now brandishing a steel chair!*



Crowd: *WINCES!*

*Ric, with murderous intent, swings the chair with all his might! It connects more than a half dozen times before the remains of the steel chair are unrecognizable! Ric almost collapses from fatigue, when Rosenthorn begins to slowly re-ascend to his feet. Panicked, Ric now begins his climb to the top rope with the fragments of the steel folding chair!*

Bob: Ric is going for all or nothing here!
Ralph: Spoiler alert folks at home, this isn’t going to work!

*Ric leaps off with the chair high above his head! BIG MISTAKE! Rosinthorn leaps into the air as well, catching the morbidly obese pro-wrestler midflight, and turning it into a JUMPING EMERALD FLOWSION in the center of the ring!*


Ralph: mmhhmm..

*The chair goes flying out of the ring, as Ric takes the deadly emerald flowsion like it’s death itself! Laying completely motionless and spread-eagled in the center of the ring, he is pinned with a simple foot placed across his chest by Rosinthorn!*

Ref: 1…… 2……. 3!!!!!!!!!!!


Ralph: wow.
Bob: Rosinthorn makes short work of Ric Austin in his debut, and will go onto bigger and better challenges! Welcome to the UCTF!

Winner: Rosinthorn

*Rosinthorn reaches into his breast pocket, pulling out a black rose before laying it gently into Ric Austin’s hand. He slowly turns and retreats from the ring as the camera gets one more shot of Austin completely unconscious! Meanwhile, Backstage, the camera catches the UCTF Grand Champion, Kunoi Ishigami entering the arena for the first time in SEVERAL months, and he’s not happy!*

Crowd: BOOOOOO!!

*He rushes past scared employees, making a B-line for his dressing room.*


Ralph: …I hope SSS’s little brother doesn’t show up tonight.
Bob: I… I actually agree with you. With all that pent up aggression Kunoi has right now, he might end up slaughtering that kid…

Arzie: The following matchup is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Aht Urhgan, weighting in at 160 pounds, BLUUUU De’Ragnarok!!!

*Eternal Gravestones tunes up from the speakers as Blu De’Ragnarok walks down the ramp, fresh off his victory against Ric Austin! The bluish-dressed mage steps into the ring to prepare for his next opponent.*

Bob: And here’s Blu, who came off a devastating victory in his debut match!
Ralph: Honestly I think Ric Austin is just fodder for newbies to feel good about themselves. e_e
Bob: He may as well be, but now Blu is going to have to think up new spells against Xamot.
Ralph: Xamot needs to WIN a match or he’ll be an embarrassment to his friends in Hell!

Arzie: And his opponent, weighting in at 220 pounds in his human form… XAAAAMMOOOOTTTT!!!!

*Just then, Forever Torment plays as Xamot comes out, in his human form of course, with his slave Melinda walking behind him. The demon possessing Dre Alexander’s body glares at the mage as he steps into the ring and quickly enough the bell rings.*


Bob: You think Xamot can finally score a win, this time against Blu?
Ralph: Maybe. I mean the only opponent Blu beaten so far was Ric Austin!

*Blu pulls out his Tizona sword, and comes in with a charge! Xamot only grins at the sight at such a weapon, and instead of a real Final Fantasy monster, he actually sidesteps the slash, grabs Blu by the back of the head, and throws him onto the turnbuckles.*

Blu: OOOOFF!! o_<!!

*But that’s not the end of it as Xamot charges up and executes the Soukeiha, and Blu gets sandwiched between the nasty move and the turnbuckle! Blu falls forward dazed, only for Xamot to grab him and then sends him FLYING high up in the air with a Koeikyaku, and then when Blu’s in mid-air, Xamot leaps up to catch him and powerbombs him back into the mat!*

Bob: Ooooh, Death Bomb!
Ralph: Xamot’s starting off at a frenzy here!
Bob: Wait… Xamot’s climbing up to the top rope… what is he gonna do?!

Xamot: RAAWRRR!!! >=|!!

*His body transform into a ball of energy in the form of a panther, hurling downward at Blu’s prone body!*


*Xamot goes for an early pin!*

Ref: One…. two….

*But Blu kicks out just at the nick of time! Coughing, the mage decked in Near Eastern armor staggers up, only for Xamot to help him up by clutching him by the neck and hoist him in the air!*

Bob: Uh oh… looks like Xamot’s going for a chokeslam here!

*Indeed, but as Xamot lifts him by the neck, Blu chants a quick spell, and lets loose with a spell called… a Head Butt. Essentially that’s exactly what it is, but it’s enough to make Xamot let him go, and Blu lands on his feet!*

Blu: e_x… >=|

*He grabs both of his swords and go on the offensive! He steps in close enough and spins with a Circle Blade, cutting Xamot on the arms, and as soon as he stops, he channels his swords to glow and strikes him with the Seraph Blades! Then his swords turn into fire, smashing Xamot across the chest with Red Lotus Blade, sending Xamot over the ropes and crashes onto the steel barriers!*

Crowd: OOOOOHHH!!!

Xamot: ……. *growls*

*Blu steps back as Xamot suddenly transforms into his 7’3" demon form! As he climbs back into the ring, Blu frowns and charges with a Fast Blade attack, but it was Xamot who gets the last laugh here as he suddenly grabs Blu’s wrists to stop the attack, and his wing tips turn razor sharp…*

Ralph: Time for a blood donation, Blu!

Blu: O_O!!!!

*Xamot’s sharp wings stab onto Blu multiple times while the poor mage is being held, cutting some of his clothing to shreds and the flesh underneath to go with it! After what seems to be a minute and dozens of stabs later, Xamot finally throws him back onto the center of the ring, and laughs as Blu’s blood drips from his wing tips! Blu staggers up, realizing that this opponent is definitely no Ric Austin, and with a snarl, he channels another a spell, the Sickle Slash, sending a yellow energy something straight onto Xamot’s body, sending him to the ropes! Xamot roars and charges back, but Blu chants another spell, transforming his entire body into hardened Diamondhide! Xamot manages to strike him with his fist, but…*

Xamot: GAAAAHHHH!!!! x_x

*The strike hurt Xamot more than it hurt Blu! As Xamot staggers back, holding his wounded fist, Blu chants yet another spell, the Ram Charge, and the mat area underneath Xamot literally explodes, knocking Xamot to the ground. Blu takes a breather… and does a Convergence spell to increase his next spell by 25%. Exactly how that works in the real world here in the UCTF… not even the fight writer is exactly sure. Same thing with Magic and Hit Points. Maybe Damage Points, but a sword slash is a friggin’ sword slash, okay?! Have any of you noticed that Final Fantasy VI (released as Final Fanasty III in North America) is still the best game in terms of plot?! Then again that’s the fight writer’s opinion so… err where was I? OH! The match…*

Blu: e____e

*Using his earlier Convergence to his advantage, he chants a 1000 Needles spell! No, it’s not just some area south of the Badlands of World of Warcraft, as literally a thousand needles of energy splatters onto Xamot’s large body! The demon flies back onto a turnbuckle, groaning loudly… but he still has some fight left in him! Blu readies his swords to go for the final assault, but much to his surprise, Xamot roars and does a desperate Touch of Death! Merely touching the dark energy would make the bones explode!*

Bob: Oh no…. oh no, and Blu’s coming right for it!! O___O

Blu: O__O!!!


Ralph: Woah, what the Hell?!

*Blu does a desperate move of his own, channeling a cannonball that smashes onto Xamot, knocking him straight to the mat! Now it’s Blu’s turn to go for the pin!*

Ref: One…. two…. three!!!!

Melinda: x_x *facepalm*

Ralph: Blu pulls off another win! Whew, that was a close one, getting in that attack before his bones explode or something!
Bob: Blu is still undefeated after two matches!

Winner: Blu De’Ragnarok

*Backstage, Kunoi Ishigami, now in his ring gear gleefully tapes up his wrists, all the while screaming to the top of his lungs. (YES, HE’S BEEN DOING THIS EVER SINCE HE ARRIVED.)*


*Back in the main arena…*

Bob: …
Ralph: Xiu, stay away from the ring tonight ;_;!!

Arzie: Laaddiessss and Gentlemen… the following contest is scheduled for one fall!

Have Mercy on Me… a Sinner!

*Lo-Ruhamah storms to the ring, receiving an even bigger tirade of booing from the crowd than usual. I mean… did you SEE his last message to the UCTF a few days ago?! Be surprised that he actually made it to the arena in one piece!*

Arzie: Introducing first, the former UCTF World Champion… He is the Unloved one, Looooo-RUHAMAHHHH!!!


Bob: Ruhamah was in rare form in his come back match against Bat-Girl last episode…
Ralph: Yeah but where did it get him?
Bob: Be fair, Ralph! It was one slight mistake that cost him the match against the tag team champion. He seems to be more focused than before!

*”Eclipsed” begins playing, and out walks Dimitri.*

Arzie: and his opponent… making his way down the aisle… DIIIIMIITRRRIIIII!!

Bob: Fresh off of his victory over Xamot last week!
Ralph: In which he didn’t even break a sweat…
Bob: Dimitri looks to topple the legendary Lo-Ruhamah in UCTF competition!

*As the moments before the bell shorten, an obvious anxious expression grows quickly across the mug of the former World Champion!*

Dimitri vs. Lo-Ruhamah


*And like a dog reacting to Pavlov bell, The Unloved one explodes out of his corner, charging towards Dimitri like a fat kid rushing towards Golden Corral! (Coincidentally, what Lo-Ruhamah himself was doing this time a year ago!) The Russian officer can’t react in time, and he’s victimized by a brutal pounding by Ruhamah in the corner!*

Bob: Lo not wasting any time here at the start of this match!

*Dimitri falls to the canvas and wisely rolls outside of the ring to create space! His reprieve doesn’t last long, however, as Lo has halfway over the top rope a split second later!*

Bob: Suicide dive by L—


*Lo lands on top of Dimitri in an over the top rope Lou Thesz Press style mount before putting the fists to his opponent!*


Everyone: o_o

Ralph: Wow, he’s in a REALLY bad mood. Did you hear his radio broadcasts?
Bob: yeah, Tokyo Rose would be proud of him. e_e

*Ruhamah pulls Dimitri back to his feet before tossing the officer back into the ring. Methodically climbing in behind him, Lo draws his fist back, waiting for the perfect opportunity to land a big strike…*

Bob: Lo’s going for the knockout blow!

*Dimitri climbs to one knee right as Ruhamah goes for the big right cross! Unfortunately for the former World Champion, however, Dimitri catches his fist!*

Dimitri: …you’re right.

*Dimitri looks up, a smug smirk begins to swell on his face.*

Dimitri: I won’t need those powers to defeat you. >=)
Lo: D:!!

*The Russian’s grip on Lo’s fist tightens to bone shattering levels before hitting a SICKENING overhead Judo throw! Not letting go of Lo’s arm, Dimitri easily twists the former champion’s limb, forcing him to roll over onto his stomach! Dimitri mounts and PUNISHES The Unloved one with several vicious strikes to the back of the head!*

Bob: Dimitri with a SLAM to the canvas!
Ralph: Lo’s mouth gets him punched in the face again. Why am I not surprised?

*The former champion battles back to his feet WITH Dimitri perched on his shoulders! He quickly drops off, only to fall victim to one of Lo’s patented knife-edge chops! The Russian eats a series of blows, before firing back with a straight jab of his own. This powerful punch staggers Lo backwards for a split second, before the tenacious SOB charges back with a wild lunging strike! Not the smartest of moves against a military trained warrior like Dimitri! He turns Lo’s momentum against himself, sending Ruhamah stumbling a few steps past him, managing to hit nothing but air! Dimitri quickly grabs Lo, lifting him into the air for a toss, only to be pounded in the side of the skull with an elbow!*

Bob: Dimitri reverses, only to have the reversal reversed by Lo!
Ralph: …

*Lo quickly grabs Dimitri’s arm and twists the Russian over for the “Purgatory Whip!” Dimitri risks breaking his arm by RIPPING his limb out of the hold before being thrown end over end. As he staggers backwards while favoring his arm, Lo quickly strikes once more, using Dimitri as a step ladder with the Heavenly Step Kick!*


*At the Apex of the Heavenly Step Kick Attack, Lo swings his body around violently in attempt to finish the strike with a big roundhouse to the back of Dimitri’s skull! The Russian telegraphs the move, BARELY ducking under the kick! Lo lands on one foot slightly off balance, easy pickings for Dimitri, who snatches on a headlock from behind!*

Ralph: That’s not good!

*As Dimitri drives Lo-Ruhamah forward to land his “Setting Sun” technique, Lo uses all of his energy to shove The Russian off of him! The brute strength manages to help Lo slip his head out of the lock, and sends Dimitri tumbling chest first into the ropes! Dimitri rebounds, right into the waiting arms of The Former World Champion, who delivers a DEVASTATING German Suplex in the center of the ring!*

Bob: German Suplex connects!

*Lo rolls over, keeping the waistlock connected!*

Bob: Lo’s got the hold locked still! We’ve seen this before!

*Lo pops his hips once more, sending Dimitri backwards with a second Brutal German Style Suplex!*

Bob: Lo powers back to his feet! Dimitri is still locked!

*He throws Dimitri backwards for a third German Suplex, but the Russian flips completely backwards and lands on his feet behind him! Grabbing Lo quickly by the skull, he drives the former World Champion face first into the canvas!*

Ralph: Christ!
Bob: Dimitri slips out and makes Lo pay!

*Dimitri quickly attempts to lock on another submission maneuver onto his dazed opponent, but he’s not fast enough! Lo quickly rolls to his feet! Dimitri quickly goes for a punch which is blocked high, followed by a low kick to the mid-section! He doubles over, allowing Lo to set him up for a powerbomb!*

Bob: Lo back in control in this quick paced ma—

*Right when Lo tosses Dimitri onto his shoulders for the powerbomb, Dimitri slips out of the hold and responds with a neck shattering roundhouse kick to the face! Both men, now off balance, stumble backwards! The ropes of the squared circle rebound both men, as they both lunge toward each other at terminal velocity! The added momentum from the ropes launch both men high in the air, as they both attempt a jump kick at the simultaneously!*


*The deliver a stunning, double split kick that connect CLEAN mid-flight! Dimitri and Lo-Ruhamah crash next to each other on the canvas… spread eagled and motionless after jarring each other with tandem kicks to the dome!*

Ralph: That could not have felt good!
Bob: Agreed! But to their credit, they’re both getting up after kicks that would have put down an elephant!

*Lo and Dimitri slowly climb back to their feet, and along the way, battle each other with unprotected strikes to the face! This contest has now turned into a test of will! Who can take the most punishment head on?!*

Bob: Neither man is backing down here! This could be the makings of a CLASSIC con—WHAT THE HELL?!

*Two figures enter the ring and blindside BOTH Ruhamah and Dimitri with a powerful set of clotheslines that send the weary warriors to the canvas!*

Ralph: Is that… that new guy?
Bob: YES! It’s Rosinthorn! What in the HELL is he doing out here, and who is that with him?!

*The Referee attempts to keep the new competitor in the UCTF at bay along with his partner, but he is sent over the top rope for his troubles! Rosinthorn drops a jagged shard of metal in the center of the ring…*

Ralph: There goes the ref… and what the hell did he just drop?
Bob: I don’t… I have no idea WHAT is going on right now.

Winner: No Contest

*Now directing traffic, Rosinthorn instructs his partner to lift the prone Lo-Ruhamah back to his feet*

Bob: Rosinthorn, for whatever reason is taking it to Ruhamah!

*He abides, before hitting the ropes and LEVELING Ruhamah with a running elbow to the back of the head! The Unloved one falls forward into the arms of Rosinthorn, who quickly delivers the Jumping Emerald Flowsion in the center of the ring! While this happens, his nameless partner slowly points to the entrance of the Arena…*

Bob: FALL FROM GRACE by Rosinthorn!! Good Lord what a move!
Ralph: Uhh… Bob, check the entrance.

*Four beings, dressed from head to toe in black, roll a casket made purely from iron down the aisle… it is becoming increasingly clear that Rosinthorn has had this attacked planned for a VERY long time! Once the Casket makes it’s rest at the edge of the ring, the unnamed individuals slowly open the structure. The unconscious Lo-Ruhamah is easily punted out of the ring and into the casket! The doors are closed as Rosinthorn and his partner stand on top of the structure, their arms in the air in front of a hushed silence of the UCTF Capacity Crowd!*

Ralph: Um… not that he doesn’t deserve regular beatings like this… WHY!?

*More officials rush down to the ring to FINALLY separate the men from Ruhamah, meanwhile, more officials check on Dimitri…*

Bob: I have no idea Ralph! Not a clue! But you can bet your bottom damn dollar that they will have hell to pay. Not only did they attack Lo-Ruhamah, but they put their hands on Dimitri. o_o
Ralph: …

*Backstage, Kunoi Ishigami, The UCTF Grand Champion is ready to go. You can almost see the smirk on his face! (Come on, It’s Kunoi, this guy NEVER Smiles! You know someone is in serious trouble!)*


*Elsewhere, in a dark area of the Arena, Xiu has been listening to Kunoi Ishigami’s rants all night, and he’s not afraid.*

Xiu: …e_e *takes a sip of mountain dew.*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall….


Bob: Well… here we go!

Arzie: Introducing first, on his way down the aisle, he is the keyblade slinging son-of-a-gun, XIIUUUU SHIIIEEELLDDSSSS!

*The former assistant of Jeice makes his way down the aisle while Fallout Boy plays on the speakers behind him. He attempts to ignore the expressions of pity directed towards him by the UCTF Capacity Crowd, as he’s preparing to face a very angry Japanese man in a few short moments.*

Arzie: Anddd his opponent…

*As “Water Pow” interrupts Arzie, Kunoi storms his way down the aisle with a sadistic/crazed look in his eye!*

Arzie: And his opponent, The Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting League’s Grand CHA—

*Arzie is drowned out by the screaming from the champ as his fast paced walking transforms into a full sprint! Kunoi’s jacket and Grand Title have been left behind half way up the ramp as he dives face first into the ring!*


*Ishigami instantly goes for the double leg, only for Xiu to leapfrog over the champion. Kunoi pops back up to his feet in an instant and attempts to decapitate Xiu with the BUSAIKU KNEE KICK right the little blue haired warrior rebounds from the ropes! Xiu quickly rolls under the strike before pouncing to the top rope in a single bound! Kunoi turns just in time to eat a drop kick right in the face!*

Ralph: OH SH—


Kunoi Ishigami vs. Xiu Shields

*No sooner than Kunoi’s shoulders hit the canvas, he kicks back up to his feet virtually unharmed, and even MORE angry than before!*

Xiu: D:!!

*He dives for Xiu, who baseball slides between the SHOOTO legend’s legs! He ends up on the apron, with Ishigami reaching over the top rope to grab him! He throws his legs over his head, locking them around Kunoi’s neck!*

Bob: This could get interesting!

*He powers his legs down, sending the Grand Champion spiraling over the top rope and to the concrete with a HUUUUGE Hurricanrana!*

Bob: Kunoi sent flying!

*Ishigami slowly climbs to his feet, while inside the ring, Xiu is gaining momentum from the ropes! Shields uses the referee’s back as a springboard, NAILING The Destroyer from Sapporo with a suicide dive!*

Ralph: JESUS!
Bob: I can’t believe I’m seeing Kunoi getting the snot knocked out of him!

*As both men slowly get up from the train wreck they caused on the ramp, Xiu grabs a hold of the UCTF Platinum Grand Championship title that Kunoi abandoned earlier and prepares to take the The Destroyer out!*

Bob: I think Xiu’s going for the knock-out blow, here!

*Xiu spins around at with reckless abandon with the twenty-five pound belt, only to have Kunoi DUCK the swing! The Champion grabs Xiu, FINALLY, and makes Shields pay with a devastating exploder suplex right on the concrete! *

Ralph: Yeah… That’s his ass! He should have escaped when he had the chance!

*Kunoi methodically lifts Xiu back to his feet by his blue locks, only to have the Keyblade wielder connect with a surprise forearm to the genitals! Ishigami’s eyes roll into his head from the pain, allowing Xiu to toss the Grand Champion into the steps at full steam!*


*The Champs face connects with the steps, sending the structure flying across the floor! Meanwhile, Xiu has reclaimed the Grand Championship belt! This time, the dazed Kunoi’s reaction time isn’t fast enough! The Platinum cracks him across the forehead, sending the champion onto the apron!*

Ralph: Did that knock him back… INTO the ring?!

*Kunoi’s body slowly rolls back into the ring. Not a good place for the Grand Champion to be! The Nimble Xiu hops to the top rope again, and prepares to make the biggest upset victory of the year in the UCTF!*

Bob: Xiu up top!!

*Xiu comes off, performing a picture perfect 450 degree spin, into a legdrop right across the FACE of Kunoi Ishigami! He swiftly rolls ontop of his opponent!*

Ref: 1….. 2….. 2.9999999!!

*But it’s not to be! The Champion kicks out!*

Bob: Xiu just barely avoids the upset of the century!
Ralph: Yeah right… Shields’ always snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Bob: uhh.. you know, I don’t think he’s ACTUALLY a Shields…

*Regardless of the kid’s Genealogy, Xiu remains in control of the matchup thus far! Balling up his hands, He begins to produce a flaming type aura of ki around his wrists in the form of Dragon’s claws!*

Bob: Xiu manifesting some kind of battle energy!

*He lunges into the Grand Champion, unloading a flurry of burning slashes about Kunoi’s body, circling him with a blur of red and blue!*

-Somewhere in Metropolis-

Clark: *SNEEZE*

-Back in the Arena-


*Xiu ducks a powerful, yet SLOW haymaker, punishing the Grand Champ with a stiff elbow to the gut! He then pivots his body towards Kunoi, NAILING The Destroyer with a palm strike directly to the sternum with enough brute force to lift Ishigami off of his feet!*

Bob: Kunoi taken off his feet!

*He ONE PATTERNS above Kunoi, and crushes the champion back to the canvas with a DBZ style Meteor Strike attack!*



*The smoke clears to reveal Kunoi laying face first, motionless in the center of the ring. *

Ralph: Holy sh—I thought Kunoi was put THROUGH the ring with that last move!
Bob: So this must be the “Z-Level” strength I’ve heard about from this kid. He maybe have just knocked out the toughest bastard on our roster with very little effort!

*As Xiu slowly descends, The Destroyer’s hand slowly begins to move… The Champion is very much awake, and VERY MUCH PISSED!

Kunoi: e_e… Alright. That’s how you want to play it Xiu?! THAT’S HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY IT!?!? ARRRGHHHH!!!


*For the second time in his career in the UCTF, Kunoi powers up, unlocking his hidden potential, and we now have a match!*

Bob: oh no! Kunoi’s unlocking that ability he used against Yugo Ogami!
Ralph: Xiu just might have pissed the wrong guy off o_o

*Not given Kunoi the opportunity to fully power up, Xiu launches himself towards the Grand Champion while focusing every bit of his battle aura into his feet!*


*Xiu draws back, nailing the Champion in the side of the neck with a platinum ki powered roundhouse kick!! Kunoi’s neck bends to a fourty five degree angle, but the Champion doesn’t even so much as WINCE in pain! You can almost SEE the moment Xiu loses all control of his body fluids from fear!*

Xiu: O_O!

Ralph: UH OH!!!

*Shield’s darts backward quickly, but Kunoi is ALREADY BEHIND HIM! A knife edge chop from the champion connects!*

Bob: GOOD LORD Xiu just bounced off the damn ground from ONE SLAP!
Ralph: Yep… the bad times are about to begin here!
Bob: To his credit, Xiu is back to his feet already, and with glowing fists!
Ralph: Should have stayed down!

*Now being followed by a trail of sparkling light emanating from his very fists, Xiu challenges the powered up Kunoi Ishigami head on!*

Xiu: HA! HA!

*As his controlled frenzy of punches are parried away by the Champion, Xiu surprises The Destroyer with a HEADBUTT! Kunoi staggers half a step backward…*

Kunoi: …*checks himself* … >=|!!
Xiu: O_O

*Kunoi comes back with twice as many punches, at TWICE the speed! Xiu is clobbered from one corner of the ring to the other!*

Ralph: Xiu go to the nuts again! It’s your only chance!

*Xiu throws himself backward into the corner, and out of pure desperation, kicks the champion in the face with dual boots! Kunoi rolls backwards, giving the kid seconds of breathing room to pounce to the top rope!*


*Xiu flies off the top rope and lands RIGHT ON KUNOI’S SHOULDERS*

Kunoi: >=D!!!!!!!!


*Kunoi tosses Xiu into the air and throws his Busaiku Knee Kick, only to have it caught mid-flight by Xiu, who reverse it into a Dragon Screw Leg throw!*

Crowd: *POPS!!!*

Ralph: HOLY SH-
Ralph: His brother’s career!
Bob: Yea—e_e

*Shields’ is back to his feet first, and finally, the time for playing is OVER.*

Bob: I think Xiu is—YES! KEYBLADE!

Kunoi: …

*Kunoi looks up in time to see the Keyblade SPINNING toward him! Xiu unleashes a fury of slashes, followed by a brutal series of knees, into an uppercut that lifts him off his feet! Xiu leaps above him, nailing the champion with a keyblade assited meteor strike! Arriving on the canvas BEFORE Kunoi, Xiu drives the butt of the keyblade INTO the falling Kunoi’s midsection! A trail of blue ki follows behind him!*


*An explosion of ki in the form of a giant Lion’s head engulfs Kunoi, as it’s roar fills the UCTF Arena!*



*The crowd goes into a hush, as Smoke fills the arena. As Xiu falls to one knee, completely exhausted, the fans around the world wait to see if they’ve witnessed Kunoi Ishigami’s first loss in WHO KNOWS how many years at this point!*

Ref: uhh.. o_o ring the be—


Everyone: O_O!!

*Kunoi leaps THROUGH the fog! He’s on fire from the Anima Leona attack, and more enraged than ever before! *

Xiu: LOL-FU—

*Xiu swings the Keyblade out of desperation one last time, only for Kunoi to SPRINGBOARD off of the weapon and NAIL Shields with a flying Busaiku Knee!*

Crowd: OOOOH!!!


*OPEN HAND SLAP TO THE FACE! ANOTHER! BACKHAND! SECOND BACKHAND TO THE FACE, SPINNING BUSAIKU KNEE! Xiu spins 180 degrees, allowing Kunoi to lock on the Katahajime choke! Kunoi pops his hips, delivering the CHOKE SLEEPER SUPLEX! Xiu bounces off his head before his body comes to a rest spread eagled on the canvas! Kunoi mounts quickly, unleashing a brutal series of unanswered one armed bombs directly to the face!*

Bob: Kunoi unleashing hell on Xiu Shields!! This is not good!

*Finally the referee DIVES into Kunoi, separating the two before The Champion can inflict any permanent damage on Xiu, and that’s IT!*


Everyone: D:!!

*Kunoi, doing what he does best, effectively sucks the life directly from each and every fan praying for his demise in a matter of seconds! This match is OVER!*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match… The UCTF Grand Champion, KUUNOOIIII ISHIGAMIIII!!!

Winner: Kunoi Ishigami

*Ishigami stalks the Unconscious Xiu, but the referee quickly throws himself in between the two competitors! Kunoi thinks wisely of the situation, slowly turning and leaving the ring! It’s safe to say he’s proven his point after an impressive victory!*

Ralph: I actually thought Xiu was on the verge of winning there.
Bob: Who the hell didn’t?! He hit Kunoi with damn near everything in his arsenal! Kunoi is some kind of machine!

*We quickly cut to the backstage area, where The dog Demon, Inuyasha watches Kunoi retreat to the back.*

Bob: But can even the Grand Champion withstand the force that is the Dog Demon, Inuyasha? The almost invulnerable Grand Champion is on a collision course with Kunoi Ishigami! He will take on the other #1 contender to the Grand Championshp, X-23 NEXT UP!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is our MAIN EVENT CONTEST!


*Story of the Year’s epic “We Don’t Care Anymore" begins playing, bringing down The Clone…*

Arzie: Introducing first, making her way down to the ring, she is one half of the UCTF Tag Team Champions.! She is the UCTF Strong Woman Champion, and the number one Contender to the UCTF Grand Championship… She is… XXXX-23!!!!

Bob: X-23 earned her place after her impressive victory over Leona in the finals of the Strong Woman Tournament.
Ralph: Leona came to that tournament and dominated, but made an almost fatal mistake when she tried to explode Girl Wolverine here o_o.

*Her music dies down, leaving a momentary silence throughout the arena before “Hanyou Inuyasha” kicks up! The crowd pops hard as the red robe wearing half demon slowly steps out from behind the curtain.*

Arzie: And her opponent, He hails from the Feudal era of Japan… He is not only the winner of the UCTF Strong Man Tournament, but he simultaneously holds the Weaponmaster and UCTF Intergalactic Championships around his waist! He is ALSO the Number One Contender to the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting League’s GRAND Championship! He is none other than the DOOOGG DEMON… INUUUYAAASHAAAAA!

Bob: Huh… I’m sensing a little Bias here from Arzie. O_o
Ralph: What are you talking about? Inuyasha doesn’t have all that stuff around his waist? >=|
Bob: no it’s just… and the double headed coin last week..
Ralph: Oh it’s his fault for htat?
Bob: No I’m just saying—
Ralph: You’re a hater, Bob. =\ All these years and I’m just now finding out you’re a player hater.
Bob: O_o Player Hater? Where’d you learn that Term?
Ralph: Urban Dictionary.

*The Double Champion hops over the top rope with ease. Both fighters surrender their gold to the referee, as he in turn releases the titles to the time keeper. The dual #1 contenders remain in the center of the ring. Not a muscle has moved between the two of them as their eyes remain locked on each other.*

Bob: Expect X-23 to turn up the intensity in this match up, after the way Sasa Dark and others have been downplaying her skills over the past few weeks.
Ralph: Oh here you go again! Stop trying to cause trouble here! It’s obvious these two share a mutual respect for each other and NOBODY out here is downplaying her skills!
Bob: mhm… e_e

*The referee sounds for the bell, and our main event match is underway!*


X-23 vs. Inuyasha

*Ralph is actually right for once in his life. These two DO share a mutual respect for each other, that’s they they both POUNCE each other the second the bell sounds!*

Bob: The #1 contenders lunge toward each other immediately!

*X-23 catches the bruiser’s arm and quickly tosses him over her head with a well placed Judo throw! Inuyasha slams the ground with enough force to bring him BACK to his feet! Stumbled, he falls into the ropes before he’s rebounded back towards the center of the ring!*

Bob: The Intergalactic Champ quickly back to his feet!

*The momentum aids Inuyasha as he sails towards The X-man! He swings wildly again, accomplishing nothing more than opening himself up for a BIG open palm strike from X-23 right in the sternum! The strike halts him right in his tracks…*

Inuyasha: GRRR!!

*The brute leans in for another wild strike! Not a good idea! Left palm strike to the chin from The Clone, a right, low roundhouse to the knee, followed by a right spin-heel kick to the breadbasket! Inuyasha SLIGHTLY leans forward, right into a flying knee to the nose!*

Bob: X-23 taking it to the Intergalactic Champion!
Ralph: Inuyasha has that slow, brute strength… X-23’s speed and agility is definitely at an advantage…. o_o she better not ever let him grab a hold of her, though.

*THIS is true, especially now that Inuyasha is growing more and more frustrated with each missed strike!*

Inuyasha: Alright… you’re fast…
X-23: …
Inuyasha: But you HIT LIKE A GIRL!

*After getting every feminazi around the world into a seething rage, Inuyasha charges the Tag Team Champion again! He draws back!*


*The champs patented strike is PARRIED AWAY by X-23 seconds before she follows up with a BIG roundhouse to the side of the neck! It’s a kick with enough force to break the neck of an elephant! Inuyasha, however, eats the kick and it BARELY moves him!*

X-23: …

Crowd: D:!

Ralph: OH SH—

*Inuyasha goozles the one known as “Talon” before easily lifting her into the air with ONE arm! X-23 responds with another powerful roundhouse to the neck, AGAIN to no effect! The Dog Demon easily tosses the Tag Team Champion through the air, OVER the top rope and to the floor!*


X-23: …ow.


Bob: X-23 was literally FLUNG out of the ring!
Ralph: Now that was a chokeslam! I guess she didn’t hear me tell her not to let Inuyasha grab a hold of her.
Bob: I guess not. Inuyasha needed to create a distance between the two because of X-23’s superior speed. He was getting eaten alive out there!

*The Half-Breed’s reprieve does not last as long as he’d want, as X-23 kips back up to her feet in a single motion. She rushes past the stunned fans toward the ring. Inuyasha makes a b-line toward the ropes to meet her, not expecting the X-man to slide under the bottom rope and right past him! By the time he spins around, she’s already back to her feet and rebounding off of the ropes at the far side of the ring.*

Bob: X-23 off the ropes!

*Inuyasha once again swings wildly, and X-23 once again ducks underneath… She bounces off of the nearest set of ropes, springs off of them, flying into a handstand. She vaults off, nailing Inuyasha with a resulting vault kick that manages to knock the oaf off of his feet!*

Ralph: She got him!
Bob: Inuyasha down for the first time in the match! Now he finds himself trying to pick himself up from the canvas!

*The second Inuyasha rolls to his knees, X-23 is already above him, somersaulting in mid-flight!*

Ralph: UH OH!

*The Downward Guillotine kick lands right on the base of the Hanyou’s neck, damn near imprinting Inuyasha’s face into the canvas from the impact of the crushing kick!*

Bob: The Intergalactic Champion made to kiss the ring! He’s maybe now realizing he shouldn’t have underestimated his female opponent!
Ralph: DAMMIT Bob! >=|

*X-23 flips backward just as Inuyasha climbs to one knee. Stunned, he rubs the back of his aching neck with a slight smirk on his face.*

Inuyasha: Alright… That wasn’t bad girlie. I admit I didn’t take you seriously enough at first.

Bob: HAH!

Inuyasha: But not anymore. LET’S GO!
X-23: HAAAAA!!

*The silent warrior charges forth towards the Intergalactic Champion! Inuyasha parries away two high punches easily, just before X-23 flips backwards, attempting to catch him off guard with another rising kick to the chin! Not this time! Inuyasha catches her by the ankle, and lifts her high over his head!*

Ralph: got her!

*Just before he prepares to slam her into obliteration, X-23 slips out of the half-demon’s grip, landing behind him! She goes for a low sweeping kick, but Inuyasha easily leaps over the attempt, followed by a kick of his own! Talon rolls out of the way, springing forward towards the champ once more! Inuyasha quickly dashes backwards, easily avoiding more strikes from the Tag Team champion…*

Bob: Inuyasha is now matching X-23 move for move!

*Off balance, X-23 is FINALLY hit in the ribs by a big left from The Half-Breed! Rolling with the punch, she springs off of the middle rope, flying towards her opponent with her leg cocked backwards!*

Inuyasha: Too slow!

*Inuyasha darts towards her in a big silver and red blur, NAILING the airborne mutant out of the sky with a giant thrust kick! X-23 corkscrews out of the air, yet somehow manages to land in a one armed handstand, before vaulting back to her feet! Inuyasha lands on the top rope perched!*

Inuyasha: …
X-23: …

Bob: Inuyasha has the high ground!
Ralph: Yeah, but I don’t think X-23 cares!

*She leaps towards Inuyasha, who has the same thing in mind! They collide while both are still in the air, with X-23 able to connect first! She lands a BIG double axe handle style uppercut that connects!*


*Inuyasha takes the blow like a man however, giving X-23 an arrogant grin!*


*Still very much airborne, Inuyasha grabs X-23 by her collar!*



*The Iron Reaver, created to destroy IRON RODS connects with X-23 head on! The clone is sent reeling from the hit, and consequently, crashes on the canvas before rolling into the corner! Her body lands unnaturally from Inuyasha’s primary attack, as she comes to rest in a violent, pretzel like shape in the corner!*

Ralph: Holy shit!!
Bob: The Iron Reaver hits, and… X-23 is GETTING UP!

*She stands from the hit. Her cowl is half sliced in half. Blood pours from the open wounds on her face and neck from the result of the attack for a few moments before her healing factor kicks in. Within seconds, she’s fully healed, save the bloody mess that covers the upper portion of her body.*

X-23: ….


Ralph: uh oh…
Bob: And the Bloody Mutant is not happy at all! She’s finally popped her claws!
Ralph: Is it time for someone to call 911?
Bob: not yet… But I have a feeling it’s heading in that direction!

Inuyasha: Weapons, now? I guess it’s time for Tessaiga, huh?
X-23: Wrong. I’ll gut you before you have a chance to un-sheath your weapon.
Inuyasha: …

*The second Inuyasha’s brain synapse FIRES to reach for Tessaiga, X-23 is already across the ring with her claws drawn!*

Inuyasha: LOLFU—


*True to her word, Inuyasha doesn’t have the chance to un-sheath his weapon before he’s forced to avoid the Mutant’s aggressive attacks toward him!*

Ralph: She’s trying to take the Champion out now and make a statement!
Bob: yeah, to never under-es—
Ralph: SHUTUP!

*Despite the increasingly feral swipes, Inuyasha manages to avoid and block away every single strike that X-23 can throw at her! It is an impressive feat. However, Inuyasha is ignorant to one little fact that he learns the hard-way! Batting the Talon away, Inuyasha inadvertently leaves himself open to for an attack via X-23’s FOOT Claw! Cartwheeling into a handstand, Laura catches the Dog Demon across the face with a quick, DEADLY claw added kick! The damage is instantaneous, with blood quickly spewing from Inuyasha’s open wound! The dog demon staggers backwards, screaming in agony!*

Bob: X-23 HAS HIM!
Ralph: That HAD to hurt! He’s wide open now, Bobby!

*X-23 charges in once more, this time delivering a CLEAN slash to Inuyasha’s chest! The kick slices through not only the Robe of the Fire Rat, but cuts DEEP into The Dog Demon’s chest! The Champion roars in pain again, this time falling to his knees!*

Ralph: Those claws are made from the strongest metal known to man, and Inuyasha just took two very serious blows from them…

*With one hand hiding the gash on his face, and the other holding his chest, Inuyasha shows his toughness by standing back up to his feet! The crowd climbs to theirs in unison to cheer both competitors on!*

X-23: …
Inuyasha: …

*A brief silence is shared before X-23 dashes in for the finish, unknowning that by bleeding out the Dog Demon, she has open herself up for one of his most POWERFUL attacks!*

Inuyasha: BLADES OF BLOOD!!!!

*Turning his OWN blood into dozens of sharp, bloody projectiles, Inuyasha hits his reversal on a perfectly unsuspecting X-23! She’s bombarded and her body is ravaged from head to toe!*

Bob: HIJINKESSOU from Inuyasha!! The same technique that he used to defeat Marcella Grace!!

*X-23 hits the canvas, her clothes torn to shreds… multiple stab wounds cover her body! She’s hurting, but not defeated yet!*

Ralph: Is she getting up!?

*Inuyasha watches his opponent return to her feet. He witnesses her wounds healing before his very eyes, and he’s officially had enough of this! As she recovers, Inuyasha finally draws Tessaiga! The blade flares full of his Yokai energy instantly…*

Bob: I think this is it!
Ralph: Fans are wisely getting the hell out of the way, too!

*Not even allowing X-23 to fully stand, Inuyasha calls upon the power of his father’s final gift to him, The Tessaiga!*



*X-23 is quickly engulfed by Tessaiga’s attack along with everything that was unfortunate enough to be behind her! The attack designed to destroy 100 demons in a single blow flies all the way back to the wall of the UCTF Open Air Arena! Somewhere, you can hear the crew responsible for repairing the UCTF Arena on a weekly basis cry a little…*

Bob: Wind Scar connects! This one is OV—

*X-23 DIVES through the smoke left behind by the windscar! Most of her body is charred to the bone! Both claws are drawn back!*

Everyone: HOLY SH–!!

*She comes down on Inuyasha with the double axe-handle, only both of her claws drive DEEP into the flesh of the Intergalactic Champion!*

Bob: Inuyasha has been caught!

*She RIPS her claws out, and a stream of Inuyasha’s blood follows! It’s so quick, so devastating, that the Champion falls to the ground in a heap! Once his body hits the canvas, he’s done! No movement can be seen at by The Half-Breed as X-23’s body slowly heals from the damaged it received at the hands of the Wind Scar!*

Bob: D:
Ralph: D:
Fuck it! Everyone: D:

Ref: R… Ring it. o_o


*“We Don’t Care Anymore" by Story of the Year begins playing once more as the improbable has happened! X-23 has defeated the near indestructible Inuyasha in the center of the ring! The ref goes to raise her hand in victory, but X-23’s in a near feral state, she snaps at the official, causing him to dive out of the ring!*

Arzie: And the winner of your main event… The Number One Contender to the UCTF Grand Championship… X-23!!!!

Winner: X-23

Ralph: She did it… I don’t know how, but she did it!
Bob: HAH, I knew you were under-estimating her!
Bob: I’m glad you asked! Let’s take a look!

*The replay on the Jumbotron shows X-23 driving all six claws into the canvas less than a second before Inuyasha brings down the Kaze no Kizu! X-23 literally roots herself into the canvas like a tree and takes the full blunt of Inuyasha’s Wind Scar head on before striking The Intergalactic Champion with her final attack!*

Ralph: She… o_o
Bob: Took everything that Inuyasha had, knowing that her healing factor would be able to hold up through the technique, then, using all she had left, gave Inuyasha a nearly deadly blow!

*X-23, now completely healed, and very naked o_o looks her unconscious opponent over one final time before leaving the ring. EMTs rush past her, quickly approaching the bleeding Inuyasha in an attempt to administer emergency care.*

Ralph: …mutant puppies.
Bob: X-23 has made a statement to the UCTF and Sasa Dark that she is just as dangerous as anyone in this organization! Can she carry this momentum to UCTF: Cyberslam when she faces off against Kunoi Ishigami for the biggest prize in the Multiverse?! For Ralph Gerrard, I’m Bob Hinden saying goodnight!



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