Mr. Hero vs. Jonathan Casto | Melvic Lilith vs. Mitsurugi | Jann Lee vs. Lo-Ruhamah | Rott vs. Tira Misu | Suicide vs. Taki | Reed vs. Cameron Baine | Raven Darc vs. Shawn Shane Shields

*The cameras begin to roll, and we’re on the inside of the Presidential Office! That’s right.. The President of the UCTF is back, and he’s ALREADY called someone into his office! But who? The cameras slowly pan around the room to show a quivering “Military” Champion in the seat across from Vegeta..*

Vegeta: e_e… So.. you’re Seth Conway.. huh?

Suicide: o_o… *nods*

Vegeta: I see.

*Vegeta stands up, almost causing Suicide’s soul to jump right out of his body!*

Vegeta: Nice belt ya got there.

Suicide: … ^_^ thanks.

Vegeta: …..So, what IS the name of that belt you’re carrying around anyway?

*Vegeta GLARES at him*

Suicide: the m..m…military title?

*The president chuckles a bit.. then gets RIGHT into Suicide’s face!*

Suicide: O_O!!

Vegeta: …let me ask you that question again. >:|

Suicide: ;_;!!

Vegeta: WELL?!

Suicide: …..the ani..me.. title?

Vegeta: Damn Right. >:| You just saved your own job. Now get out!

*Suicide jumps out of his seat and attempts to scurry away!*

Vegeta: CONWAY! >:|

Suicide: O_O…… y..yes?

Vegeta: e_e. Find Kei and Yuri, and have them come to my office NOW.

Suicide: *GULPS* yes sir! >_< !!! *RUNS*

*The scene then flips back to the UCTF Arena in Anime City! Thousands of fans in attendance cheer as they see themselves on camera! In the commentators booth.. We see Bob Hinden, Ralph Gerrard… and JEICE! They’re all laughing their asses off after the last scene…*

Jeice: ^_^ The Big V is back to normal! I love it! Teach those little mucks some respect!

Ralph: LOL! X_X

Bob: We’ve got our president back, the UCTF is safe, and everything is right in the world!!

>:o(|)!!!!!!!

Bob: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Jeice: What the hell is your problem mate?! >:|

Bob: x_x.. yo… you guys didn’t just see that?!

Ralph: See what?!!?

Bob: …. o_o …. nothing

*Jeice looks over at Bob, who’s almost completely white!*

Jeice: Damn man.. you look like you’ve just seen a ghost!

Bob: x_x…

Ralph: uhh.. Bob, aren’t you going to call out the matches for tonight?

Bob: yeah.. x_x…. ahem…. Tonight we have Six of our main titles on the line! One of those is the Intergalactic Title, which Raven Darc puts on the line against Shawn Shane Shields in the main event!

Jeice: That’s right! Shawn wants to get back at the size queen who turned his back on him at the last pay per view!

Ralph: Size queen? o_o?

Bob: Right now, we’re going to our fi—

!!ALRIGHT PARTNA!!

Jeice: ..uh oh..

Ralph: >=( Aw, anything but THIS!

Bob: x_x

!!JUST KEEP ON POSIN! YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!

*THAT’S RIGHT! “Posin” starts up on the sound system and the fans start to give some serious heel heat! The boos and catcalls are so loud that the whole damn arena is shaking and the theme song can barely be heard!*

!!PULL YA PANTS UP! PULL YA PAAAAANTS UP!!

!!VROOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*And at that, the pink VW Bug roars out from behind the curtain and down the ramp like all get out! Unfortunately, the Saikyo-mobile gets barraged by an almost endless stream of beer cans, popcorn bags, and other fast food waste products! Hell, some brave fan’s even tossed the damn trash can at the car, which bounces off as it skids to a halt! And, yep, out comes the stable known as Pink Tsunami!!!*

Fans: >=\ BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Bob: X_x That’s some reaction!

Ralph: x_x You’re telling me! And Dan and crew haven’t even been around for the past seven weeks!

*Stepping out, and ducking a couple of tossed hot dogs, are the Hurricane (TM) and Mr. Satan! Next out is Joe Higashi who almost gets his ass booed out of the damn arena! The camera catches a close up of a deranged fan holding up a Joe action figure… with a hunting knife stuck through its head! Johnny Cockring steps out wearing his dapper suit and a smug smile, ignoring all the yelling!*

!!POSIN POSIN POSIN POSIN POSIN!!

*And finally, to the BIGGEST eruption of heel heat felt in a long time, Grand Champion Dan Hibiki sidles out of the Bug, flourishing the Grand Title!! Heh, but the fans seem to take a little solace in the fact that he’s still wearing that wire contraption keeping his mouth shut*

Bob: Here’s the Grand Champ! ^_^ Alright! Looks like his jaw is still broken!

Ralph: LOL! Good! That means we don’t gotta listen to any more of his bull plop!

*BUT THEN!!!*

Dan: *RIPS OFF THE DEVICE* OYAJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

Everyone: X_X!!

*”Posin” fades in the background but the boos sure don’t! The crew slides on into the ring and take to the four ring posts! Dan swings the belt over his shoulder like a certain electrifying person of sports entertainment fame, executing the Shaking Fist of Saikyo-ryuu with his free hand! The cameras zoom in on the several “Ryo Got Robbed” posters! Eventually, when the crowd’s too hoarse to scream at him anymore, Dan hops down and brings out a mic!*

Dan: ORA! HAH! It is I, the GREATEST GRAND CHAMPION in the HISTORY of the UNIVERSE! OYAJI!!!

Fans: >=| BOOOOO!!!

Ralph: Dude, I don’t think he should go around saying stuff like that.

Bob: You’re telling me! I bet there’s a lot of former Grand Champions out there who might not take kindly to Dan mouthing off like he usually does!

Dan: HAH! But as the GREATEST team leader ever, I can’t take all the credit for my glorious victory! YAHOOIE!!

Bob: Can’t take all the credit?? All he did was stand there taking a beating!

Ralph: Well, you gotta admit, after what Ryo put him through I’m amazed he isn’t dead!

Bob: o_o Got a point there.

Dan: So let me give you the privelege of meeting the GREATEST stable in the HISTORY of the universe! But for that, let me turn it over to the man who got it all started, Senor Cockring!

*The manager grins and shakes Dan’s hand! After taking the mic, Johnny starts to pace around the squared circle as he speaks*

Johnny: Thank you, Daniel! Now, ladies and gentlemen, is this the prime example of a Grand Champion or what?

Fans: JOHNNY’S A SLUT BITCH! *CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP* JOHNNY’S A SLUT BITCH!

Johnny: >=| SHUT UP OR I’LL SUE YOU ALL FOR SLANDER!

Fans: x_x

Ralph: Holy shnikeys! They went quiet!

Bob: X_x Most likely cause they know he’d win.

Johnny: Now, as I was saying, you are witnessing history in the making, UCTF fans! For I have assembled the most powerful force of fighters that this federation has ever, and will ever see in its entire life! First, we have the strongest superhero known to mankind! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, run faster than a speeding bullet, and mack on twenty different super models at once… stand back, citizens…it’s the Hurricane!!

*True to form, the Hurricane does his spinning crouch taunt!*

Johnny: And then, a legend in his own time, we have the Martial Arts Champion of the World… he’s the unstoppable juggernaut who’s taken out such evil menaces as Cell and Bojack, his string of victories includes not a single loss, and he’s a nice guy to boot! Welcome Mr. Satan!!!

Mr. Satan: HAAAH! *Double Victory hand signs!*

Johnny: Next, the pride of the Muay Thai fighting circuit, the Prowling Tiger, the man who’s ready to go all the way to the top…please welcome Joe Higashi!!!

Joe: >=) *raises his fist*

Fans: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Ralph: Damn! Joe’s really getting razzed down there!

Bob: I don’t blame the fans, Ralph! Joe betrayed his former stablemate and friend by costing him the Grand Championship!

Johnny: Finally, the Master of Saikyo-ryuu, the GREATEST fighter in the universe, also known as the Southern Dandy…. Welcome your Grand Champion, DANIEL HIBIKI!!

*It’s a good thing the UCTF’s got earthquake insurance or else there’d be no one to pay for the damages done by this eruption of heel heat! Dan takes it all in stride, doing a quick Saikyo Roll and hopping to a thumbs-up position!*

Dan: ORAAAA!!!!

Johnny: And now that you’ve all been introduced to the most powerful fighting force in the UCTF today, the Grand Champion wanted me to make a special announcement to those would-be warriors, cowering in the locker rooms!

Ralph: o_o This can’t be good.

Bob: =\ You know, I’m getting really tired of these guys’ egos.

Johnny: Daniel Hibiki now challenges the FOUR most WORTHY opponents back there who THINK they can even match him for the Grand Title! That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, Daniel is willing to face four opponents in a Fatal Five Way for the most coveted belt in fighting history! Daniel is issuing this challenge to the four contenders underneath his grand status, if they have the cojones to accept for the next Pay-Per-View event extravaganza!

Bob: Heh! Maybe now he’ll finally get the beating he deserves!

Ralph: I dunno. I got a bad feeling about this one..

Johnny: But this won’t be an ordinary Fatal Five Way! Oh no! Daniel, just what kind of Fatal Five Way will this be? *hands the mic over*

Dan: >=) ORA! HAH! This will be a Fatal Five Way Electric Dome Barbed Wire Bomb match, Johnny! HAH!

Bob: X_X Not another one of these damn gimmick matches!

Ralph: Electric Dome Barbed Wire Bomb?! X_X!! The hell?!

Johnny: *takes back the mic* The full rules will be announced IF the challengers have the guts to accept! Until then, UCTF fans!

*”Posin” kicks in again and the crew prepares to leave the ring…*

Bob: Well, there you have it! Dan’s issued a challenge to the four contenders underneath him to settle who really will hold the Grand Title!

Ralph: x_X I can’t watch!

!!THIS MEANS WAR!!

*BOOOOOOOOOOM!!*

*It doesn’t take a high IQ to know that “War Ensemble” has just started, and that could only mean one thing… Hystalin DeWarrloc has come to the scene! The “jacked up bitch” chants start up almost immediately, which the female saiyan doesn’t take too kindly. In her hand is a microphone, and in her eyes are unadularated rage!*

Crowd: JACKED UP BITCH! JACKED UP BITCH! JACKED UP BITCH!

Hystalin: >:|!!!!!!!!!!

Bob: Uh-oh…

Ralph: This can’t be good! I know it can’t! >_<

Hystalin: So, Pinkie… I was in the back, and I couldn’t help but listening… you’re challenging the top four contenders? Gee, I’m surprised to hear that you’ve finally grown some balls and offered a challenge. If you are offering shots, you’ll have to deal with me… because upon that list… I’M AT THE TOP!!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Hystalin: I don’t give a flying fuck what match I have to go through. I don’t give a shit about who I have to go through! Bring on your hurricanes! Bring on your legal strategies! Bring your weaklings and traitors you have surrounded yourself with. Hell, bring on whoever you want to bring into your match. I’ll mow them all down! Then, when the dust has settled and the match will be over… someone will rise a true champion! That will be ME!

Crowd: *GOES FUCKING BALLISTIC!!!!!!!*

Hystalin: I only have one more thing to say to you, Danny… ORA-ORA THIS, YOU SON OF A BITCH! >:| *GIVES HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER*

“Well isn’t this lovely?”

*Symphony of Destruction kicks up on the Jumbotron, announcing the arrival of none other than everybody’s favorite “false Saiyan”. Covetous saunters out from the back and starts up the ramp. None too pleased with his appearance, the crowd starts to make rude gestures in his direction, their throats too horse from razzing Dan to boo. He signals for the music to stop and addresses the gaggle in the ring.*

Covetous: I don’t know how well you and you’re entourage thought this out Hibiki, I’d be willing to bet this whole thing was Cockface’s idea. However, I can GUARENTEE that you, the lawyer, AND the rest of Pink Tsunami will regret it.

*Covetous reaches the ring and steps over the ropes. He looks over to Dan and then speaks again.*

Covetous: Surprised to have gotten TWO responses already Dan? You shouldn’t be, there are so many people here who want to kick your ORA-ORA ass I’m surprised this ring isn’t swarming with challengers.

*Covetous then turns to Hystalin, who is already seething with rage from Dan’s challenge and the crowd’s taunts.*

Covetous: I feel that since I DEFEATED the number one competitor for the grand championship in her long awaited match at Winter Warfare, that I should be one of the first to accept this outrageous offer.

*Covetous turns back to Daniel.*

Covetous: So let it be known Saikyo-ryuu master, you already have two of the most powerful fighters in this entire fed participating in this Dome Bomb Don’t Whiz on the Electric Fence or whatever match.

*Pausing, Covetous shakes his head.*

Covetous: To clear things up, it’s nothing personal, strictly business. As far as I’m concerned Hystalin, I feel no need to hound you any further, I already proved myself at Winter Warfare. However, what goes on INSIDE the ring is another matter altogether. And as for you, I can’t see how anybody can have personal issues with somebody as inane as you. I just thought you two might like to know that you’ve got some competition. Daniel, until we meet in the ring, Hystalin, Likewise. I’m looking forward to Ailura’s next visit. ^_^

Hystalin: >:|!!!

*”Symphony of Destruction” replays as the now self proclaimed Number One Contender leaves the ring! Hystalin turns to the Pink Tsunami stable and lunges toward them like she’s going to strike.. EVERY member falls to the ground in fear!*

Hystalin: HMPH!

*The Jacked Up one leaves, more pissed than she was before she came down the aisle!*

Ralph: LOL!

Jeice: oh great… another gimmic match where Dan gets beat down to a bloody pulp! What’s this guys major malfunction???

*The scene flips backstage, where Current Dustmaster and Tag Team Champion, William Clarke walks through the back after working out in the UCTF Gym.*

Jeice: and Damnit! When is there going to be a match tonight!?!?! >:| Damn Sports Entertainment bullshit…

*From the other corner… our basketball sized senor janitor Happosai sprints through the aisle with a large vask in his hand. The very vask that he received in the mail at the Last UCTF Pay Per View! The hentai custodial engineer turns the corner at the same time William does!*

William: O_O!

Happosai: O_O!!

!!WHAM!!

*William hits the floor, and the large vask of red liquid shatters over his head and spills the entire contents all over his shirt!*

Happosai: o_o.. YOU FOOL!!

William: >_< aww damnit! What is this?? >=\! It’s RANK! X_x

*William stands up, smells himself and wretches*

Happosai: DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE JUST DONE?!!? >=|

William: Yeah, spilled Skunk piss on me or something! >=(

Happosai: That was a very powerful Pheremone you just ruined!! I was going to take over the UCTF with that and you screwed it up!!!!

William: e_e! Whatever. I’m going to take a shower now. I’ll pay you back or something old man.

*William goes into his room and locks the door.. Happosai is behind him SCREAMING*

Happosai: THAT’S THE LAST OF IT’S KIND YOU MORON!! >=|!!

*From another location in the arena.. the mixture of William’s sweat and the pheremone travel through the air…*

Aisha: *Sniff* O_o Meow? …… H_H! MEOW!!

Jeice: …

Bob: …

Ralph: …

Jeice: You know.. that doesn’t look good for the kid..

Bob: I’ll say X_X.. Well! Let’s go to our first match! IT’s going to be Mr.—

*The cameras go BACK to Vegeta’s office! This time sitting in front of him are the Vice Presidents… Kei and Yuri!*

Jeice: DAMNIT!!

*They’re already talking.. err arguing about something.. so everyone quiets down to hear what’s going on!*

Kei: but Mr. Vege—

Vegeta: Quiet you! >=|. Let me get things straight.. Just because you guys got TIRED of doing your jobs.. dealing with insurance companies and repairing desetroyed arena.. you both took it upon yourselves to DESTROY my Mecha Arena?!

Yuri: Well we—

*Vegeta stands up and puts both hands on his desk!*

Vegeta: YOU’RE BOTH FIRED! >=|

Everyone in the Arena: O_O!!!

Kei and Yuri: o_o… ;_;!!!

Vegeta: GET OUT OF MY OFFICE! >=(!

*They’re thrown out of his office immediately after being fired! The crowd doesn’t know what to say… but Ralph does..*

Ralph: NO!! NOT THE DIRTY PUPPIES!! ;_;!

Jeice: o_o two more bite the dust!!

Bob: good LORD! o_o.. fired

*Back in the office, Vegeta picks up the phone*

Vegeta: >=| Secretary.. call in ACRAPHA.

Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!!!

Jeice: uh oh.. >=) I can’t wait to see this!

Bob: Well anyway, our first match is FINALLY about to go underway! Mr. Hero will take on Dustmaster Title Contender, Jonathan Casto!

Mr. Hero vs. Johnathan Casto

*First up, “Locomotion” hits the sound system and out comes Mr. Hero! The two-headed robot clanks on down the ramp and towards the squared circle, faces locked in determination! Normally, newbie’s don’t get much respect from the fans cause they don’t know what to expect…but this time the silence is more to the fact that Mr. Hero ain’t your typical looking fighter*

Fans: o_o….

Bob: o_O…uh, and here’s Mr. Hero. I think.

Ralph: The hell? Did some whacked out mad scientist take over Hasbro or something?

Bob: I dunno about that, Ralph, but he does look imposing!

Jeice: Yeah, about as imposing as a frogurt stand.

*Then, “Alive” starts to play and the fans give a nice little welcome to Johnathan Casto! The brawler rushes to the ring like a bat outta hell! Not even waiting for the match to start, Johnathan leaps over the top rope and wallops Mr. Hero with a flying kick! The sound of foot on metal sounds curiously like the bell!*

(Ding!)

Ref: o_O….uh..okay..

*The match has begun! Mr. Hero’s hardly fazed by the flying kick attempt and he barely moves an inch! Once Johnathan’s landed on his feet he barely gets enough time to duck a haymaker punch from the robot! Mr. Hero doesn’t let up as he takes a stance known to pugilists everywhere…then starts throwing those jabs! One, two, three of them tag Casto in the face and daze him! Rearing back, Mr. Hero winds up his arm and…*

!!BLAOW!!

Ralph: Holy shinkeys!

Bob: What an uppercut by Mr. Hero! Johnathan has GOT to be in serious pain!

Jeice: X_x

*Johnathan kips up to his feet a little worse for wear but still going strong! As Mr. Hero misses with a round-arm belter, Johnathan snakes in and hits a beautiful drop kick to the robot’s chest! Stumbling backwards, Mr. Hero’s unable to fight back as Casto follows up with a harsh foot to the gut, then a classic DDT!!*

!!BLAOW!!

*The brawler tries to make the fast cover! The ref slides down!*

Ref: 1..

*KICKOUT! With AUTHORITY! Johnathan gets sent flying and its only his good reflexes that let him land feet first on a turnbuckle instead of on the cement outside face first! While the robot’s clanking to his feet, Johnathan sees his chance and he leaps off the turnbuckle, leg outstretched!*

!!BLAAAAAOW!!

Ralph: x_X OUCH!

Bob: My lord! That must have felt like running into a steel girder!

Johnathan: X_X

*That’s right folks! At the last second, Mr. Hero was able to get his systems in check and notice Casto soaring in for the kill! Too bad for the brawler that instead of smashing Mr. Hero with a flying kick, he got smashed by flying into the robot’s extended fist! While Johnathan’s lying there in pain, Mr. Hero turns around so that his back’s facing him… he crosses his arms… and then starts to lean back..*

Bob: Uh oh! Is Mr. Hero going to do what I think he’s going to do?!

Jeice: This is going to be one painful splash!

!!WHAM!!

Fans: >_< OOOOOOOOOOH!!

*Yep, Mr. Hero has just let his metallic body crash onto Johnathan on purpose! The robot lies there for the pin and the ref slides down to make the count!*

Ref: 1..2..

*Shoulder up! Shoulder up! Johnathan isn’t down and out yet! And as Mr. Hero starts to drag him to his feet, the brawler delivers another powerful kick into the robot’s midsection! With his opponent dazed, Johnathan rears back and tries for his own haymaker punch!*

!!CLANG!!

Johnathan: x_x

Jeice: LOL! LOL!

Bob: Amazing! Mr. Hero’s metallic body made Johnathan hurt himself!

*Getting a little tired of this, Johnathan simply leaps up and smashes his heel down onto one of Mr. Hero’s head, denting the metal! Keeping up the tempo, Casto hops up again and delivers another crushing blow to the other head of the robot! And then a devastating roundhouse floors the Big Steam Machine!*

Bob: Johnathan with the comeback! Can he keep this up?!

Ralph: Damn dude. I betcha his toes get blisters after this match up!

!!BLAOW!!

*Jumping heel stomp! Casto stays down for the pin!*

Ref: 1..2..

!!THWOOOOOOOOOSH!!

Ralph: Geez!! I didn’t know he could do that!

Bob: What a way to break a cover! Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Hero isn’t finished yet!

*Yep, of course it’s all thanks to his steam cannon that he hasn’t lost! The high-pressure blast of power tossed Johnathan off of Mr. Hero and sent him crashing down on the mat! Lightly seared, Casto gets to his feet a little groggily… and then hits a sweet scissor kick that almost floors the robot! Almost isn’t the same as actually happening, and it’s Mr. Hero who comes back with a jaw-cracking hook punch!*

!!BLAOW!!

*Taking the initiative back, the robot then wraps his arms around Johnathan… and then falls forward like a red wood tree!*

!!CRASH!!

Everyone: X_X OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!

*Mr. Hero stays down for the cover!*

Ref: 1..2..3!!

(Ding!)

Bob: Well, it looks like Mr. Hero wins his debut match! Nice job to both him and Johnathan Casto!

Ralph: X_x Ugh…damn two-headed steam powered robots. Why can’t there be more puppily-endowed women around here?!

Bob: ~_~

*”Locomotion” starts up again as the ref helps both fighters to the back!*

Winner: Mr. Hero

Bob: Well.. that was interesting to say the least! O_o

Jeice: yeah.. -_-

*The scene flips to the backstage! We’re in the presidential office AGAIN! This time, Acrapha is in the hot seat!*

Jeice: HERE WE GO!! >=)!! FIRE HER ASS! FIRE HER AAASSS!!

Bob: uh oh..

*Vegeta pets his Pikachu doll sitting on top of his desk..*

Vegeta: so Acrapha.. e_e.. How have you been?

Acrapha: Great! *^_^*

Vegeta: that’s good. =| Acrapha.. the reason I called you in here is because… well… I heard you’ve been using my Big Bang Attack and Death Driver finishers in your matches.. is THAT correct? >:|

Acrapha: well.. o_o yeah..

*Vegeta picks up the pikachu doll and carresses it’s head*

Vegeta: I see. Well, let me ask you this. Have you asked permission to do those moves?

Acrapha: O_O no but I thought–

*VEGETA RIPS THE PIKACHU’S HEAD OFF*

Vegeta: YOU’RE FIRED!! >=|!!!

Acrapha: O_O!!

*Acrapha .. STARTS WAILING! Then she jumps over the desk and glomps him!!*

Vegeta: GET OFF OF ME! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!! YOU’RE FIRED!! SECURITY!!!

*DOZENS of heavily armored police officers storm the office and DRAG Acrapha’s bratty Saiyan ass out of the arena by her arms AND legs to a HUGE ovation!! It’s an embarrassment to the world of fighting! Jeice is at the commentator’s table LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF! He’s about to piss his pants!!*

Jeice: MY RIBS!! MY RIBS!! LOL!!

Bob: oh man.. that was embarrassing..

Ralph: yeah.. I felt sorry for Acrapha… almost……

Bob: Well Jeice, you ready for the next match? It’s going to be–

*As Bobby looks at the Orange Crusher.. Jeice’s head morphs into a demonic face!*

Bob: O_O!!!

Jeice: e_e WE ALL FLOAT BOBBY BOY!

Bob: AHHHHHHH!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!?!?!

Jeice: *SLAPS HIM* >=| SHUTUP WITH THE CURSED SCREAMING!!

Bob: o_o…

Ralph: ……. you’re on drugs…

Bob: am not.. >_< ! I think I Just might need a vacation that’s all..

Jeice: Mate! Just go get something to drink or something. Ralph and I can handle this next match.. o_O..

Bob: yeah.. ok. >_<

*Bob gets up and leaves the set*

Jeice: ….that guy has lost his marbles..

Ralph: damn right.. o_o

Suicide vs. Taki

UCTF ANIME Title

Jeice: Well! Me and Ralph are gonna call this one without any help from Bobby boy, and it’s going to be for the title I made famous.. th.e UCTF ANIME Championship!

Ralph: Yeah, and the title Suicide has held twice! He’s only been in the UCTF for about two months and he’s held the belt as many times as you! What do you think about that?

Jeice: ….Shutup! >:| I remember the GOOD ol days when guys would win titles and KEEP them!

*”The Cursed Image” kicks up over the arena! Just as one would expect, a huge ovation erupts! The lone survivor of the Bus, Taki makes her way down to the ring! Who would be the first to say something??? Heh.. you know..*

Ralph: NINJITSU PUPPIES!!!

Jeice: Heh! Yeah.. if I didn’t have a pregnant girlfriend listening to every word I say at home.. x_x.. I’d have a comment..

*The number one contender hops to the apron in a single, effortless bound. Then, using the ropes as a spring, she flips twice and lands in the center of the ring in an impressive display of balance and agility …. and bounce. LOTS of bounce!*

Ralph and Jeice: H_H!

*Next, Rammstein’s “Links 2, 3, 4” kicks up! The Current Two Time Anime Champion, Suicide walks down the aisle! Fresh off of his defeat at the hands of Jubilee and the tag team champions, the already shaken up Suicide tries to ignore the tirade of boos coming towards him tonight!*

Suicide: …

Jeice: Heh! I bet Suicide’s gonna be looking over his shoulder all night after his meeting with Vegeta at the top of the show. >=) I don’t blame the guy! Vegeta’s THE intimidator, and I don’t mean Dale Earnhart!

*He climbs into the ring and walks towards the ref, preparing to give him the UCTF ANIME Title.. but right as the ref reaches out for it.. the evil kid changes directions and nails Taki in the back of the head with it! She goes down after the unexpected attack, and gets stomped in the back repeatedly!! The ref comes in between the enraged solider and the ninja, and attempts to pry them apart! But Suicide TOSSES him aside, and goes back to work in classic heelish style!*

Jeice: oh shit! O_O I think since he can’t kick Vegeta’s ass, he’s taking his frustration out on Taki!

Ralph: Don’t bruise the puppies!!

*Once Taki is positioned in the center of the ring, Suicide comes off the ropes with fury, and connects his signature axe kick to the back of the head! She goes down, giving Suicide time to come off the ropes and nails a second to add insult to injury! Not waisting one moment, Suicide walks over Taki’s downed body and locks on the Fujiwara Armbar!*

Suicide: >=|!!!

Jeice: o_o Nice Fujiwara armbar! It doesn’t look much better than that right there! He’s gonna rip her shoulder out of her socket too!

Ralph: Yeah! Then maybe she’ll need help putting on bras!

Jeice: …

*Suicide has so much leverage on the hold, that he’s literally standing on his feet, leaning backwards with all his weight! The pain is unbearable.. and it looks that Taki’s going to do either one or both of two things.. Tap out.. or Pass out from the pain! She grabs onto the bottom rope with her free hand, and out of desperation, KICKS her aggressor in the side of the face, displaying amazing flexibility!!*

Ralph: o_o.. I need to change my pants…

Jeice: damn.. I didn’t know body parts could move like that… willingly.

*The hold is broken! Suicide jumps to his feet and comes off the ropes towards Taki, who’s favoring her arm. The ninja suddenly goes to the ground, preforming her Reaping Hook Kick! Suicide feet are knocked right from under him, and he flies THROAT FIRST onto the top rope! The Anime Champion bounces from the taped up cable and sent to his back!*

Crowd: OOH!!

Ralph: holy crap! That could have crushed his esopha… >=| His throat!

Jeice: -_-… see what happens when you don’t finish high school mate?

*Grasping his neck, Suicide stumbles back to his feet! He looks down to see Taki crouched under him.. just waiting for that perfect opportunity to strike! And she does! Two powerful feet are driven into Suicide’s chest, not only knocking him off his feet, but onto the top rope!*

Suicide: X_X!!

Jeice: ooh! Not a nice way to land on the top turnbuckle!

Ralph: His little soliders won’t be marching after that one!

*Taki leaps to the top rope, and delivers a super plex from the top rope, using JUST her uninjured arm to power the kid over her head! After crashing on top of his head.. Suicide is just about helpless in watching his opponent leap back to the top rope!*

Suicide: ;_;!!

*The ninja leaps off the ropes, preforming two beautiful backflips in midair! Right as she lands, Suicide miraculously catches her legs, and rolls her to her face, locking on a Boston Crab!*

Jeice: X_X! The boston Crab reversal! Damn that’s sweet!

*Once again, Taki finds herself in a painful submission manuver, and she tries to twist and contort her body around in attempt to knock Suicide off balance, but the Anime champion leans the opposite direction! She suddenly changes directions and rolls to her stomach! Suicide slips and falls on his back as well Somehow Taki springs upward, putting her weight on the champs chest, and folding up his legs!*

Ref: 1……2….

*The surprised champion somehow kicks out of the hold! Taki flips off of her hands and lands back on her feet. When suicide gets up, she goes for a savate kick! Suicide catches it, then spins her around! The ninja twirls around, and is lifted into the arms of the Champion!*

Ralph: Ninja puppies going up!

*She finds herself in the firemen’s carry! Suicide snaps her back into the “Court Martial” finisher!!*

!!WHAM!!

Crowd: OOOH!! O_O

Jeice: Court Martial!

*He covers the ninja with the leg hooked!*

Ref: 1……..2……..3!

!!DING DING DING!!

*That’s right! It’s over as quickily as it started! Suicide has successfully defended his Anime Title in an impressive preformance!*

Ralph: Damn.. I don’t think Taki even saw that move coming! She’s not moving either! e_e maybe I should go down there and revive her..

Jeice: HEH! Go ahead! I’d love to see you get a beating!

Winner and STILL UCTF Anime Champion: Suicide

*Suicide snatches his title and rolls out of the ring before storming out of the arena! Meanwhile.. Bobby Hinden finds himself in the bathroom washing his face*

Bob: >_< … damn, I’m losing my mind…

*After getting a refreshing splash of water to the face… Bob looks into the mirror and squints his eyes..*

Bob: e_e What in the hell is going on with me?!!?

*He can hear a rattling coming from the pipes below.. he looks into the drain of the sink.. where a HUGE blood bubble begins to form! It grows to the size of a basketball, before EXPLODING all over the sink, the mirror AND Bob!*

Bob: …AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

*Several UCTF fighters run into the bathroom to see what’s going on!*

NNNN: O_o.. What!?!?!

Bob: o_o… you can’t…

*Obviously, none of the fighters can see the blood splattered all over the place, so Bobby quickily covers his tracks!*

Casto: we can’t what??

Bob: nothing.. I thought I saw a rat or something… e_e…

*The fighters ALL laugh at him, then leave the room*

Bob: ……… ;_;!!

*Bob rolls up in a ball, and cries like a BITCH! Meanwhile, in another part of the complex.. Current Dustmaster, William Clarke finishes getting dressed after washing out the chemical Happosai spilled on him..*

William: ^_^ Now THAT’S better…

!!WHAM WHAM!! !!SMASH!!

William: *BITCH SCREAMS!*

*Walking through the hole in the wall that USED to be a door is Aisha Clan Clan, of the Ctarl Ctarl empire! She’s wearing NOTHING but a robe!*

Aisha: H_H… Our Shower’s broken… Can I use yours??

William: o_O… uhh.. I guess so….

Aisha: Meow! H_H THANKS!

*The camera flips angles to a view between Aisha’s legs, right as she derobes in front of William! The young Dustmaster Champion just about PISSES his pants in fear!*

William: O_O!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

Aisha: COME HERE YA BIG MAC!!

William: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*He FLIES out of the room with a nude Ctarl Ctarl chasing right behind him! Next, We cut back to Vegeta’s office. He’s sitting behind his desk, with a crying…bride O_o…sitting in a chair opposite him. She’s been crying twenty minutes straight without stopping, not even to tell him why!*

Vegeta: >_< *rubs his temples* Can you please tell me what you want?

Kittie: He…he… ;_; *cries a damn river*

Vegeta: >=\ I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.

Kittie: *chokes back her tears* It’s Rott. He told me he loved me, said he’d marry me, but then he, he, he…. ;__;!!

Vegeta: e_e Let me get this straight. This is Rott, the son of a bitch Rott, who said he loved you?

Kittie: Yes.

Vegeta: LMAO!! That’s a funny story-

*Kittie can’t take it! She runs forward and <i>plows</i> her head into Vegeta’s shoulder, sobbing in a way only a broken-hearted girl can! He looks down at the cat-girl, who’s curled up on his lap like a newborn kitten. He stares at her for a few seconds, stunned that she’s clutching him like a father….and….his cold heart gushes! Genuine compassion fills him as he sees this girl crying on him.*

Vegeta: e_e Tell me everything.

Kittie: ;_; You’ll help me?

Vegeta: e_e Anything you need.

Kittie: *sniffs* well… he….

*She leans in and whispers something in the Prince’s ear.. something that he DOESN’T like!*

Kittie: And when we made love, he promised me then he would marry me!

Vegeta: Let me get this straight: He said he loved you, and wanted to take you to bed?

Kittie: Yes.

Vegeta: And he said he’d marry you.

Kittie: Yes. But when he didn’t call, I went and got the rings and made the proposal.

Vegeta: ……..I saw the Flaming Fist he gave you. >=|

Kittie: ;_; What am I going to say to my parents?! Its tradition he marries me! I just need one chance to get him.

Vegeta: O_o What have you got in mind?

Kittie: >=)….

Rott vs. Tira Misu

Interplanetary Championship Match

Jeice: oooh boy.. What is that little girl up to?? I smell TROUBLE for This man who’s about to defend his title!

*”Hell’s Bells” kicks up over the soundsystem! Sauntering to the ring with an unusual glow about him is The current Interplanetary Champion, Rott! He is EXTREMELY happy tonight.. probably because of the sicking display of “affection” he showed for the Gothic catgirl at the last pay per view, almost breaking her in half with the flaming fist technique!*

Rott: ^_^..

Crowd: BOOOO!!!

Ralph: Ladies and Gentlemen tonight’s Saturday Massacre has been brought to you by local gangsta rap station WBALLZ. Everybody wants to hear the shit! On WBALLZ!!

Jeice: And Atomic Enemas! We don’t care if you have a turd as hard as a cement block! You’re gonna blow up the bathroom after using us!

*The camera flips over to a group of demonic looking guys sitting in the front row.. but these aren’t your everyday devil worshippers.. they’re hard metal group.. GWAR!*

Gwar: e_e…

Jeice: What the hell??

Ralph: Hey! That’s Gwar!! Are they UCTF fans??

Jeice: nah, I think they just made a wrong turn on their field trip to hell o_o

*”Naked Girl Falling Down the Stairs” starts up next, which brings out the Strong Woman 2000, Tira Misu! In her eyes is a pure look of LUST! Rott’s IP championship isn’t the only thing on the line tonight.. his dignity is right along with it!*

Tira: H_H!!

Rott: ….

*Tira slowly, seductively walks up the stairs, and enters the ring through the second rope.. Rott remains in his place, both arms crossed… As she walks towards the chain smoker.. he suprises her by unleashing both Colt .45s from his holsters, and unleashing a barrage of bullets!*

Tira: O_O!!

*After both clips are emptied out, Rott grabs the stunned challenger and immediately starts with the third stage of the Flaming Fist technique, and takes her through EVERY stage, including the devestating Palm thrust to the nose!*

!!CRACK!!

Tira: X_X!!!!!!!!!!!

*The sickening pop is the sound of Tira’s cartilidge snapping from Rott’s finishing attack!*

Jeice: Good Lord!

Ralph: O_O! He killed her!

*Rott keeps a chokehold on the unmoving opponent, smiling evilly at his work!*

Rott: >=)!

Tira: X_X……… H_H!!!

Rott: O_O!!

*She wraps her legs around the Interplanetary Champion and quivers with orgasmic spasms! (I can’t believe I’m typing this! >=(!) As Rott freezes in fear.. she looks up at him and BEGS…*

Tira: YES!! YESS!! MAKE ME YOUR WHORE!!

Rott: X_X!!

*He responds swiftly with a BITCHSLAP, sending her to the mat with a big red hand mark on her face! After prying her legs apart, he takes a page out of the jacked up manual of Hystalin, and STOMPS a mudhole into crotch of the masochist with his BIONIC leg!*

Tira: X_X!!!!!!!

*With both of her legs locked firmly in his grip, he heaves Tira into the air, and back down in an impressive backbreaker!!*

Rott: >=|!!!

*With one arm on her face, and the other on her thigh, he attempts to break her in HALF over his bionic knee!*

Tira: X_X!! OH YES!!!

Rott: O_O!!!!

!!WHAM!!

*He pounds her in the throat with a buffalo knuckle!!*

Tira: X_X!! *GOES LIMP*

Jeice: SHOOT THE BITCH WITH A KI BLAST!

Ralph: o_o I don’t think he does ki blasts!

Jeice: Something’s gotta be done about these masochist sluts man! >=|!

*Rott stumbles over into the corner in exhaustion! With his free hand, he pulls out a cigarette, and lights the sombitch up*

Rott: -_-..

*While taking a drag, Tira SITS UP like the damn Undertaker with lust in her heart!*

Tira: H_H!!

Rott: WTF?!?!?! >=|!!

*Rott’s PISSED. After two moves that would mortally wound an average person, she’s STILL up and ready for more “punishment!” Rott throws his cigarette to the wayside, and begins charging! Before he can attack, she clocks the champion in the gonads! He stops dead in his tracks, as she unleashes her cat-o-ninetails and snatches him right off of his feet!!*

Rott: O_O!!

!!THOOM!!

*He ends up on his ass! Tira goes down to her knees and.. goes for Rott’s Zipper! Once the zipper is un-done, Tira goes for the goods… FACE FIRST! Rott grabs her by the face just in time and fights to keep her at bay!

Tira: H_H!!

Rott: What are you doing?!!?!?

Tira: Let me kiss it and make it feel better! H_H

Rott: HELL NO!

*He gives her a pieface, and immediately jumps to his feet to get away, but it’s no good, because Tira catches him with the thick, S&M style whip, and delivers a cat o nine suplex! Rott lands neck first, and bounces back to his feet, dazed and confused! That’s when Tira grabs a hand full of ballsack.. YES, Ballsack, and delivers her “Crotch Handle Slam!”*

Jeice: Ugh!

*While Rott tries to stand up… Tira goes to the top rope, and pulls out….. ~_~ I’m ashamed to even type this… a BLACK dildo! It’s the first and last thing Rott sees before being knocked back to his ass!*

!!WHAM!!

Rott: X_X!!

*It leaves an impression of a COCK on his forehead! Rott’s spread eagled in the center of the ring! Rott reaches up, feels the impression, and SNAPS!*

Rott: >=|!!!!!!!!

*He springs up to his feet in one fluid, capoeria movement, and spins towards Tira! With an array of Low stomping, roundhouse, low turning, high turning, and inside, outside crescent kicks, he takes the masochist down Hard! Not giving her a second chance to move, the interplanetary champion comes flying down with a flipping somersault knee to the throat!*

Crowd: OOH!!

Ralph: Ouch!!

Jeice: Yeah Rott! Kill her!

*Once on the top rope.. Rott reveals a switchblade implanted firmly into his boot! With this top rope manuver, he plans on putting Tira away tonight, and maybe for good! It would be a service to all mankind!*

Rott: >=|!!!!

*He leaps off of the top, with many people in the audience turning away with sympathy pains!*

Jeice: ^_^!! Here we go!!

Ralph: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!!?

*Ralph grabs Jeice by the head and pushes him under the desk just as a ki blast BLAZES past the both of them! It curves down the aisle, and into the ring!*

Rott: >=|!! O_O!!!

!!BLOOOOOOOOOOM!!

Rott: X_X!!!!!

*Rott lands on his feet, smoking like he just took a long walk through hell! On the jumbotron, a Large widow’s peak having, large vein bulding head appears! It’s the president!*

Vegeta: ROTT! In my office.. NOW!!!

Rott: O_O!!

*Tira grabs him from behind, and snaps on the “Octopus” submission! Rott struggles all he can, but it’s too over powering! That, and the fact that he’s fearing his life at the hands of Vegeta! He TAPS like Gregory Hines on Speed, and the match is over!*

!!DING DING DING!!!

Jeice: AWW DAMNIT!!!

Ralph: THE PUPPIES WINS!! AMA–

Bob: ZING!! NEW INTERPLANETARY CHAMPION!!

Ralph: DAMNIT!! SHIT!!

Bob: I’m back! ^_^!!

Winner and NEW Interplanetary Champion: Tira Misu

*Rott rolls out of the ring, holding on to his aching abdominals.. but now he has something worse to worry about.. VEGETA!*

Rott: -_-…

*meanwhile in the ring.. Tira celebrates her new sexy toy, the IP title!*

Tira: H_H!!!

*We’re backstage once more, and there’s William! Somehow, William gets away from his Ctarl Ctarl attacker, and leans against a wall somewhere in the bowels of the UCTF complex, trying to catch his breath… That’s when a chinese girl walks up to him… a friend of World Champion Jann Lee!*

LeiFang: umm… Hi.. I’m kinda lost. ^_^.. I’m looking for Jann Lee’s dressing room.. can you……… H_H.. show me the way?

William: …… o_o…. uh oh…

*Using lightening speed, he turns around and takes off through the backstage area, with the kung fu fighting hottie right on his tail!! Using quick “Cop Evading” manuvers, he dives into the dressing room of Former World Champion, Guy! After locking the door, he falls to the floor! He can hear some footsteps nearing him*

William: x_x… Hey.. Guy… I know we’re not that cool an all.. but can I use your dressing room to hide? Something crazy is going on here! …..Guy?

*He looks up, to find himself BETWEEN the legs of Maki!*

Maki: …….Guys not here. H_H!!

William: O_O!!!

!!BLOOOM!!

*William jumps THROUGH the door, where Aisha AND LeiFang are waiting for him!

William: O_O!!!

*The Chase is on AGAIN! Elsewhere… The FORMER Interplanetary Champion finds his way into the office of Prince Vegeta, who summoned him with a power “Big Bang Attack” earlier on… He arrives at the door, smoking as usual, then knocks on it.*

Vegeta: Come in.

*Rott opens the door, a slight grin on his face. It, and the cigarette, drop when he sees Kittie standing next to him!*

Vegeta: e_e

Kittie: >=)

Rott: O_O;;

Vegeta: *eyes flash red* So you think you can use my little girl like that?

Rott: O__O She’s your daughter?!?!

*Vegeta reaches over and BITCH slaps Rott right in the mouth!*

Rott: >_< !

Vegeta: No you FOOL. But I have a young, sweet and innocent flower JUST like her! >=| And when I heard about what you did.. I thought about MY Bra. Would you do that to MY little girl!?!?

Rott: x_x What are you talking about?!

!!BLAOW!!

*Rott gets BLASTED across the room and into a near wall*

Rott: X_X!!

Bob, Ralph & Jeice: X_X OUCH!

Vegeta: e_e You’ve got two choices. I kill you right here…

Rott: >_< Or?

Vegeta: …you fight her next Saturday Massacre.

Rott: X___X ……….. -_- ok.. I’ll fight her.

*The moment those words slip from his mouth, the kitty pulls out a HUGE 586 paged contract, and SLAMS it on the table!*

Kittie: I HAVE A CONTRACT! ^_^!!

Rott: …….

*The president picks the bible sized book and reads through the ENTIRE thing in a matter of seconds! He can’t help but to… but to LAUGH!*

Vegeta: LOL!

Rott: ….!!!

*He turns over to Rott and slams the book on his hand!*

Rott: X_X!

Vegeta: >=| NOW SIGN.

Rott: o_o;;; *SIGNS*

*Vegeta puts the contract into his desk and locks it shut.*

Vegeta: e_e Now get out of my sight.

*Rott leaves faster than Bill Clinton can run to a McDonalds! He’s so fast his shadow is still on the floor!*

Vegeta: You too.

Shadow: ??? *runs out*

*We’re back in the UCTF Arena! Bobby Hinden is back at his post after thoroughly crying like a bitch in the bathroom! Now he’s ready to call the next match…*

Bob: We have an interesting match tonight as Jann Lee puts up his World Title against Lo-Ruhamah.

Ralph: Did you pronounce that right?

Bob: Pronounce what right?

Ralph: Ruhamah.

Bob: Ruhamama?

Ralph: Bruhaha?

Jeice: I do believe you two are going off topic, you twats.

Bob: Right, right. Sorry.

Jeice: Anyways, this fight is in a way one sided, Lo appears to be doing fine as we see that he is as always a pompous little shit. While Jann is still recovering from some hand and collar bone injuries.

Ralph: Why does everyone talk about Jann Lee’s injuries? I remember when I sprained my wrist, did I get any attention?! Noooooo.

Bob: Your injury was self inflicted!

Ralph: -_- I retract my statement from the record.

Jeice: Well here comes the challenger, Lo-Ruhamah.

Bob: Ruhameh?

Jeice: Don’t start with me. :-| BTW.. about the Rott Slap… can we.. SEE THAT AGAIN?!!?

!!SLAP!!

Jeice: LOL!! AGAIN!!

!!SLAP!!

Jeice: 6 TIMES IN SUCCESSION!!

!!SLAP!! !!SLAP!! !!SLAP!! !!SLAP!! !!SLAP!! !!SLAP!!

Jeice: NOW DO THE MATRIX!!

!!SLAP!! !!PAN AROUND THE ROOM!!

Jeice: LMFAO!! X_x.. ok, let’s go to the next match!

Jann Lee vs. Lo Ruhamah

UCTF World Champion Title Match

* “Have Mercy on Me” plays as the lights dim, Lo comes out wearing a dark green leather robe as he saunters with a purpose down to the ring. He walks up the stairs as he removes the robe and wears his white jacket and vest arrangement. The crowd boos him as he tilts onto a turnbuckle. *

Ralph:*Sean Connery Impression* My name is Bond…James Bond.

Bob: Look at Lo test the ropes, you can see he is very determined to get the prize of World Champion tonight on Saturday Night Massacre.

Jeice: He is such a wanker.*rolls eyes*

* “Natural High” blares through the system as the lights flash back on, Jann walks down the ramp the belt around his waist showing the respect it deserves, the fans cheer. He still has bandages on his hands and collarbone as he walks up the stairs and stands on a turnbuckle as he shows off the plate of the belt to his fans. Flashbulbs flare as Jann shows the belt off with a persistant look in his face. *

Ralph: Jann Lee looks kind of nervous tonight, perhaps scared that he is going to lose?

Bob: No way, he isn’t that badly injured.

Jeice: He’s just taking this seriously, give the guy some bloody slack fer christ’s sake!

* Jann drops to the mat as he puts the belt down and goes into his JKD stance. *

Jann: Don’t think I’m gonna let up because I’m injured, I’m gonna make you realize who you’re really fooling.

Lo: The only person you’re fooling is yourself if you think you’re better then me.

* Lo sparks a white flame from his hand, somewhere in the world both Kyo and/or Iori scoff in unamuement. Jann looks at Lo with a shake of the the head. *

Jann: That’s pretty snappy, you probably have no problem lighting a fart if you needed to.

* Lo extinguishes the fire as the two dash toward each other Lo kicks off the fight with a high front spike kick, which Jann counters and attacks with a hard elbow strike to the face. Lo comes back with a backwards Yakuza Kick. Jann Lee gets floored and rolls out of the way from a what would of been a well placed groin stomp. Jann gets back up with a well placed jump and with quick timing dodges a Holy Punch leaving Lo open for a High Shin-Knee Kick into a Dragon Spike, Lo reens down from the Dragon Spike to the stomach but attacks back with a high angle flying Rosary Kick. Jann stumbles back into a turnbuckle blood trickling down his chin from a cut. Lo takes the oppurtunist path and dashes to the turnbuckle and chokes Jann with a boot choke. *

Lo: You’re nothing! You don’t deserve the belt!

Jann: Oh really?

* Jann grabs Lo’s foot, and, like taking a page right out of an old school Budo Teching Book, flips Lo like a rag doll. The fan’s cheer as Lo is slammed to the ground with the greatest of ease as Jann climbs the turnbuckle and flings himself off of it looking for a knee stomp. Lo quickly rolls out of the way as Jann clutches his knee not exactly hurting it but sort of blaming himself for making a move so gutsy without doing a little more action. Lo gets up and grabs a hold of Jann he delivers a high knee to the chest and elbows the still healing collarbone of Jann Lee. Of course Jann not being made of stone falls to his knees wincing in pain at the feeling of his collarbone being jostled. Lo grabs him by his hair as he looks an Armageddon Flare into Jann’s chest. *

Bob: Lo appears to be taking advantage of Jann’s injuries as he appears to be hacking the collar bone of Jann Lee.

Ralph: Is he allowed to do that?!

Jeice: This is a No DQ match the little twat is allowed to do whatever bab he wants. It’s all on a basis of principles. Which can be thrown out the window if you want something so badly.

* During the commentary Jann was taken out of his funk by the sting of the glare and gave Lo a well placed Dragon Blow to the bridge of the nose, knocking him off his feet. Lo’s hand was enveloped by a black force as he gets up and makes a slapping motion not even in his vicinity Jann is affected by these Chi Slaps as he is about to stumble back but he quickly regains his footing and with two steps his up in the air. *

~*WATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!*~

Jeice: Bloody hell! Did you see that?

Bob: Notice on the replay that Jann’s foot is aimed at about the same place his Dragon Blow was for this Dragon Kick, he appears to believe that Lo can be taken down by blows to the face.

* Jann lands perfectly square on his feet as he falls to the ground for the pin. *

*1, 2,*

* The ref notices Lo’s leg on the rope and declares Rope Break, Jann Lee gets up and brings Lo with him. Lo regains his senses enough to stomp on Jann’s feet and grabs him by his waist and gets him in a powerbomb position and with a huge ass leap into the air pulls off Welcome to Sheol. On impact Lo tries to regroup for a second one but Jann kicks out of the grapple, letting go of Jann. Lo then Leg Drops him and goes for a one leg holding back pin. *

*1..,2..KICKOUT!*

* Jann gets up first as he stalks Lo like an obsessed… thing. Lo gets up in the wrong direction and Jann kicks Lo’s foot up… *

Bob: Dragon Gunnery to the Knee.

Jeice: Sucks to be Lo.

* Sure does, as Lo appears to be clutching his knee in a newfound pain rolling on the floor but gets up with a limp. Jann approaches and Lo shows his defense as he goes for a kick to the chest that Jann catches. As Jann was about to Budo flip him Lo’s grounded foot sets on fire with a bluish flame he twirls himself as he kicks Jann in the temple. *

Jeice: And Lo goes for the Rosary Insiguri Kick.

Ralph: A classic move with a little churchin’ in it.

Bob: Such force shouldn’t be given to such a pressure point as the temples. >_<

* Jann struggles to get back up he can’t hear a thing as he hears his ears popping from the pressure of a Rosary Kick to the Temples. He practically doesn’t remember where he is as Lo sneaks up and spins Jann around and goes for a Holy Punch to the face that Jann slaps away and with a movement to his back foot. *

~*YAAAAAAAATAH!~*

* The Dragon Knuckles is performed Lo is flung back by the sheer force of the awesome blow. He slowly gets back up as Jann runs toward him about to give him the mother of all Dragon Kicks, quickly Lo brings his arms up like a preist forcing the in mid air Jann to lie flat as he feels his spine bending by an unknown force. Performing the Surrender your Soul submission Lo was also putting some extra pressure on Jann’s Collar Bone as the Chinese Man feels it slightly fractuirng from it’s almost healed state. *

Lo-Ruhamah: Surrender the belt like the mere peon that you are!

Jann: I do not submit for that is not with the Art of Not Fighting.

Lo-Ruhamah: Then I will just have to…-_- ugh.

* Lo phases out a little as Jann Lee is let go of the submission he flips on to his feet and brings Lo closer to him as he executes five hard fast open palm thrusts he brings his leg back and practically touches his injured temple with his toe as he lets Lo have at it with a hard kick to the neck sending him flying into the center of the ring. Practically assed out from the Way of the Dragon Lo stays down as Jann runs up on the top rope and lands on Lo’s Face he starts grinding his face in with his heel and gets off as he is about to pin the fallen theologist he falls down cold. Grasping on to his head and shoulder. The ref comes up and raises both arms they fall to the ground. Once, Twice, about to go for the third time when Lo’s almost stays up but then falls. The ref motions to ring the bell calling it a draw. *

Bob: And the entire ordeal ends in a draw after both have endured pain upon pain.

Jeice: Quiet you, this match has been nothing more then a ten dollar bag full of dog shit taco supremes. I am not amused.

Ralph: Damn! neither of them are getting up.

* The bell ring is like an alarm clock to Lo as he regains his senses and crawls over to the still out Jann and pins him. He smacks the mat with his foot trying to get the ref’s attention. *

Lo: I would like a three count right about now.

Ref: To hell with that, you both were assed out it’s a draw!

Lo: WHAT?! BUT I’M RIGHT HERE!

Ref: My decision is final word dammit!

Bob: Lo is still trying to win, but he can’t! He has blown his one shot at Jann’s World Title.

Jeice: LOL! That’s to bloody funny! Don’t make me laugh while I’m drinking or you might make me angry!

Ralph: And so by default Jann is STILL the World Champ.

* Lo is now on his feet as he is trying to talk the ref into starting the match back up. *

Ref: No! Screw you!

Lo: What?! SCREW ME?!

* Lo’s right eye twitches as he sees the amount of blood flowing from his broken nose the red blood all over his white tuxedo jacket. *

Lo: O_o*twitches* I’ll…I’LL KILL YOU!

* Lo pushes the ring announcer out of the chair and folds it back up and smacks the ref on the head clonking him out. *

Lo: ALL OF YOU! I’LL KILL YOU ALL!!! YOU’RE ALL GOING TO THE LIVING HELL THAT IS PURGATORY ON A BULLET TRAIN CALLED LO RUHAMAH!!!!

Jeice: LOL! He’s probably pissed because he knows how hard it is to get that much blood out of a jacket, with out the use of a true professional dry cleaner!

* Lo runs over to the ring staff and beats every one of them to the ground. He yells and curses in hebrew in full anger blood is spewing from one of the production assistants. Fans are booing him, some are actually trying to stop the madness as they go over the barrier and try to calm him down. But Lo will not as he beats them into a bloody pulp.*

*Somewhere in the crowd.*

Yin: -_-

Yang: O_o

* As Lo finishes up the people around the ring he looks up and sees EMT’s caring for the injured Martial Artists. He slides in yelling. *

EMT 1: Dear god, Concussion, Greenstick fracture of the collarbones and hands.

Lo: Let him go! Our match isn’t done yet! *smacks chair on the mat*

EMT 2: I’ll cover, get him on the stretcher!

* The EMT run towards Lo and goes for a tackle Lo evades with a simple spin and smacks him in the face with the chair. Now other Refs were running down the ring as well as other EMT’s and Lo takes them out with hard chair strikes to the face. One after another up to about 15 Referee’s and 7 EMT’s. Lo looks around and with a heavy breath walks towards Jann’s prone body he scares the EMT away as he releases Jann Lee from his stretcher very groggy as it is from a concussion Lo places the man at a turnbuckle and pummels him with the chair, he then drops the chair and picks Jann Lee up into a DDT Position. *

Bob: Will someone please stop this now?!

Jeice: Sucks to that! Anyone going down there is looney!

* Lo smacks Jann in the face with a double armed DDT face first into the chair, Lo looks among the carnage and blood and sees at the turnbuckle the World Title. Lo walks up and picks it up and looks at it in wonder as if he had seen the Holy Grail itself. *

:Lo: …*drops the belt and leaves*

Bob: O_o; Well I guess we’ll be right back right after a word from one of our sponsors and while you’re gone we’ll get this mess taken care of.

* While the commercials play EMTs and Refs come out to sort from all of the assed out bodies a replacement ring staff is called in to continue on. *

Winner: DRAW, Jann Lee still World Champion by default

Cameron Baine vs. Euridice Reed

*“1/3” by Siam Shade starts up on the Jumbotron. Coming toward the UCTF ring is Cameron Baine. The women in the audience swoon at Cameron’s presence. One female fan throws a thornless rose to Cameron, which he catches in his right hand. Cameron takes a whiff of the flower and smiles while slipping into the ring.*

Bob: It’s time for the NRA match!

Ralph: Damn… this guy has so much luck with the women! They’re fawning all over this guy!

Bob: Yeah…

Ralph: Lucky son of a bitch! :|

*The current NRA Champion is experiencing a respectable pop, but then… “Sweating Bullets” comes on the Jumbotron. Everyone there knows what is about to happen. Euridice Reed comes toward the ring, his Sig Sauer ready in his hand. Cameron looks to Reed, knowing what is going to happen very soon!*

Bob: It’s Reed!

Ralph: Dude… do you remember when Reed played Russian Roulette with Garshrink Grimjaw at Carnage?

Bob: Don’t remind me! X_X!

Jeice: I saw a tape of that… heh… wasn’t that bad… e_e

*Reed is now in the ring. Cameron can see Reed coming toward him. Reed wastes no time in pistol-whipping the bishounen with his gun! Thus, the bell sounds!*

*DING!*

Bob: Damn! The fight started up fast!

Ralph: Yup!

Jeice: Now to see someone good old ass-kicking!

*Reed fires a bullet from his Sig Sauer toward Cameron. Fortunately, Baine moves out of the way, the rubber bullet barely grazing his left cheek. Cameron decides to take action by unleashing his Cold Steel Bites technique upon Reed. Reed ends up on his knee. Cameron nails a field goal kick upon Reed, knocking him on his back. Just before Cameron can do anything with Reed down, Reed gets up and pulls Cameron by the ankle, making him trip. While Cameron is on his back, Reed jumps to the corner of the ring and takes action.*

Reed: Heh… try this one on for size, pretty boy! >:|

*Reed goes for the Three-Finger Flick upon Reed as he gets back on his feet. The dagger and the shuriken misses its mark but the powder bomb hits Cameron in the face, spreading powder upon the bishounen’s face. As Cameron reels from the attack, Reed takes the initiative and whacks him on the jaw with his nightstick! Reed goes for the downed Baine and picks him up for a brainbuster!*

Bob: Damn! That had to hurt!

Ralph: Is it me or these NRA matches are using less and less guns? o_o?

Jeice: I dunno, mate…

*Reed stands up and tries to grab Cameron by the neck. Before the referee can make the count, Baine pulls out an AMT Hardballer and fires a shot toward Reed. It hits Reed’s shoulder, and the challenger reels back, tending to his wounded shoulder. During this time, Cameron gets back on his feet, Baine not liking to be pushed around as he is so far in the match. Cameron pulls out another AMT Hardballer and starts firing round left and right upon Reed! Reed can see the blasts speeding his way and jumps out of the ring, narrowly avoiding Baine’s ballistic barrage.*

Cameron: Where are you, Reed? You cannot hide away from me forever!

Reed: Shit! That guy is getting smarter. This is not going to be easy… >_<

Jeice: Heh…

*Cameron jumps out of the ring to pursue Reed, the referee coming with him. Reed can see Cameron coming after him. He quickly makes his way in the back, Cameron closely following him. Now that the two are in the back, the fighting resumes. Now that Reed and Baine are face to face, Cameron tries to pistol-whip Reed. However, Reed catches Cameron and reverses it into a Six Seconds Magic! Reed pulls with all his might, try to make Cameron submit.*

Bob: Damn! The fight is going to the back!

Ralph: Cool! ^_^

Bob: I thought you only like a match where there are “puppies” involved.

Ralph: Yeah, but if this match gets some puppies, and it’ll be perfect! ^_^

Bob: I had to open my big mouth! ~_~…

Jeice: Remind me to kick his ass later… :|

*Reed kicks Baine upon his chest. With Baine kneeling, he goes for a DDT, but Baine somehow reverses into a Northern Lights Suplex, sending Reed upon a pile of metal bars lying on the floor. Cameron picks Reed up, Reed slightly dazed and tries punching him on the face several times. Then, he throws Reed to his left, Reed ends up hitting some wooden crates. Reed gets up, but he does not see Cameron behind him, holding a wooden crate in his hands!

*WHAM!!!!*

Reed: X_X!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH!!!!

Bob: Shit! That had to hurt!

Ralph: He’s going to be feeling that in the morning! >_<

Bob: *cough*pussy*cough*

*Reed falls on his back, which gives time for Cameron to unleash another technique. With only one of his pistols, Reed aims for a particular spot on Reed that everyone KNOWS is vulnerable. Seconds later, Reed empties his gun upon Reed’s groin. Reed awakens with shock and pain going in and out of his body, Reed gripping to his swollen testicles!*

Bob: UGH!!!

Ralph: WHEN WILL THEY STOP DOING THAT?!?! X_X!!!

Jeice: Blimey… even I can feel it! >_<

*Cameron pins Reed on the floor, the referee makes the count. Just when the referee gets to 2.875, Reed found the strength to get up after having several bullets pound away at his nutsack! The crowd breathes a collective sigh of relief. Unfortunately, Cameron isn’t having much luck now! Reed starts beating Baine with his nightstick until everyone can see Cameron developing a bloodied, bruised face. The women in the audience scream in horror, the beauty has been tarnished!*

Cameron: How dare you ruin my beautiful face! >:|

Reed: Heh… it wasn’t that beautiful to begin with, asshole!

*Cameron goes for the Symphony of Slaughter upon Reed, but Reed manages to dodge the lion’s share of all the attacks Cameron tries to land upon him. Then, with his nightstick, Reed nails Baine upon his swollen stomach. Cameron stops momentarily to tend to his stomach. Meanwhile, Reed breaks something out from his pocket… a brass knuckle! He slips it on his fist and waits for a time to use his newly acquired weapon!*

Bob: Oh shit! Brass knuckles?!

Ralph: I think he tore a page out of William Regal with this one, but still… you KNOW it’s gonna hurt bad!

Bob: *cough*ripoff*cough*

*Cameron turns around, but when he turns to Reed, Reed has unleashed a brass-enhanced punch right to Cameron’s face! If you look close enough, you can see a drop of Baine’s blood falling on the floor! Many people in the crow are having sympathy pains. Some even pass out!*

Cameron: X_X!!!!!

Reed: Heh… nice try!

*As if that’s not enough, Reed pulls something from the pile of wooden crates… it’s a bazooka! The crowd starts screaming, for they know if that makes its mark, it could be over for Cameron!*

Bob: SHIT! A BAZOOKA?!

Ralph: If Reed uses this, someone will be calling Cameron’s next of kin really soon! >_<

*Reed pulls the trigger, but it wasn’t toward Cameron, surprisingly. Instead, the rocket flies upward to some rigging suspended in mid-air! Seconds later, everyone nearby can hear the sound of a small explosions, following with the sound of metal bending and breaking! About ten seconds later…*

*WHAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob: OH MY GOD!!! O_O

Ralph: I cannot believe he did that! He let some metal equipment fall on Cameron!

Bob: He could have killed him!

Ralph: X_X!!!!!!

Jeice: Oh please… I’ve seen worse… e_e

*Reed lights up a Marlboro. The referee checks on Cameron to see if he can continue the match. Unfortunately everyone watching can plainly see that Cameron is out cold! The ref calls for the bell, and the match ends!*

*DING! DING! DING!*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob: AMAZING! NEW NRA CHAMPION!

Jeice: Ack! You screamed in my ear, you idiot! >:|

Ralph: How can you think of that at a time like this?!

Bob: I just did, didn’t I? e_e

Ralph: >_<

*The referee hands the NRA belt to Reed. Reed holds it up with his left hand and looks upon himself in it as if it was a mirror. He throws his cigarette to the floor and puts it out with his foot. He leaves the scene while several EMTs try to pulls Cameron out of the wreckage.*

Winner and NEW NRA Champion: Euridice Reed!

*We’re in the back once again, where William Clarke looms in the darkness… hiding from the crazy females who’ve been chasing him all over the complex!*

William: ;_;… I think it’s safe to come out….

*He walks into the light.. the EXACT same time new IP champion, Tira Misu walks around the corner!

Tira: …..H_H!!

William: ……

*What does he do? What do you think? >=| He turns around and takes off! After passing an unmarked door.. about 45 more women burst out, all with the same lustful looks in their eyes!*

William: ;_;!!!

Mitsurugi vs Melvic Lillith

Swordmaster Title Match.

*”Demanicus Island” is keyed up, drawing a number of boos from the crowd, as the loudmouthed swordsman Mitsurugi makes his way down to the ring*

Bob: Mitsurugi earned this title shot a few weeks ago when he defeated Zvi of G!

Jeice: I’ll say he did! That bollocks stabbed Zvi’s bloody EYE out!

*Mitsurugi slides into the ring, and demands a mic from one of the ring crew members! But before he can talk, “Fuck You Up” starts playing, getting a decent pop from the fans! Melvic makes his way down to the ring, with his sword at his side, and his belt across his chest!*

Mitsurugi: JUST a moment, Melvic. >=|

Ralph: Oh GOD… -_-

Mitsurugi: I’m only going to warn you now… this match isn’t about you… it’s about ME, and how winning that swordmaster belt will put me one step closer to attaining my goal of ridding this world of the firearms users. >=|

Crowd: *BOOS*

*Melvic slides into the ring, and stares down Mitsurugi*

Mitsurugi: So if you wouldn’t mind… I WILL allow you to concede this match to me… give me your belt… and I won’t harm you in any way.

Bob: Oh, come on!

Jeice: Some wanker he is! He doesn’t want to fight!

*Melvic looks down at his belt, unsnaps it, and holds it up. He then holds it out to the side, shrugs his shoulders, and SPITS right in Mitsurugi’s face!*

Crowd: *POPS!!!*

Mitsurugi: o_< …. >=| You WILL regret that.

*Mitsurugi quickly whips out his sword, and rams the handle into Melvic’s face, as the bell sounds!*

*DING, DING, DING!!!*

Ralph: One cheap shot deserves another, I guess!

*Melvic staggers back a couple steps as Mitsurugi attempts to slice him! Melvic manages to deflect one slash, but Mitsurugi follows up with another, which cuts open the front of Melvic’s shirt! Melvic quickly does a handstand backflip into the corner to get out of Mitsurugi’s sword’s range!*

Melvic: *pants*

Mitsurugi: HEEEYYAAAHHH!!!

*Mitsurugi hops forward, and pokes Melvic three times with his sword! The sword opens up three tiny wounds on Melvic’s chest!*

Melvic: >_< !

*Mitsurugi then follows up with a kick to the gut! Melvic doubles over, and Mitsurugi lines up his sword on Melvic’s NECK!*

Ralph: Oh NO!

Bob: I CAN’T LOOK!

*But RIGHT as Mitsurugi’s about to behead him, Melvic charges forward and tackles him to the ground! Forgetting about his sword, Melvic climbs on top of Mitsurugi, and starts laying him out with a flurry of punches that would daze even a UFC fighter!*

*TWACKTWACKTWACKTWACK!!!!*

Mitsuriugi: x_x…

*Melvic starts to get off, but as he does….*

!!!!CRRAAACKKK!!!!!

Crowd: OOOOOHHH!!!!

*He kicks Mitsurugi RIGHT in his nuts!!*

Mitsurigui: X_X!!!!!!!

Jeice: LMAO!!!! Oh, that was CLASSIC!

*Mitsurugi rolls on the ground in pain, as Melvic runs to the far ropes, then goes into an asai moonsault off the second rope, with his sword extended! As he lands across Mitsurugi, he opens up a long cut across his chest!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!

*Mitsurugi rolls over in pain, leaving a blood trail on the mat! As Melvic gets up, the ref initiates the ten count!*

Ref: 1……2…….3…….4…..

*Mitsurugi rolls over towards the ropes, and starts pulling himself up! The ref reaches seven when he’s back up to his feet!*

Ref: He’s up! Match continues!

*Mitsurugi turns to Melvic, and wipes the blood off of his chest with his hand! He then grips his sword, and charges! Melvic is able to dodge his first wild slash, but Mitsurugi kicks Melvic in the gut, then slashes him across the arm! Melvic goes down to one knee, and Mitsurugi drives his own knee into Melvic’s face!*

Melvic: X_X…

*Melvic falls back to the mat, but Mitsurugi isn’t done! He picks up Melvic by his hair, then whips him into the ropes! He sheathes his sword, then brandishing it like a plank of wood, SMACKS it across Melvic’s forehead! Melvic hits the mat, and the ref starts the count!*

Ref: 1…….2……..3……….4……….5…….6…..

*Melvic stirs on the mat, and starts to get up! But when he gets to one knee, Mitsurugi knocks him RIGHT back down to the mat, this time down on his chest! Mitsurugi then draws out his sword, and holds it above his head! The crowd is going nuts, and some even look away!*

Bob: OH SHIIIIII-

*SHUNK!!!*

Crowd: >_< !!! OOOOHHH!!!

*Mitsurugi STABS the sword right THROUGH Melvic’s shoulder! Melvic SCREAMS out in pain, and struggles to get up! But, the sword is stuck IN the mat as well! He can’t move!!*

Ralph: oh, that’s SICK!!

Jeice: o_o… He’s pinned his bloomin’ arse to the mat like he was a bug in some kid’s collection!

*The ref hesitates for a moment, and starts the count!*

Ref: 1….

Melvic: AAAUUGHHHH!!!

Ref: …..2…

Melvic: EEAAAUUUGHHH!!!

Ref: Oh, fuck it. RING THE BELL!!!

*DING, DING, DING!!!!*

Winner and NEW UCTF Swordmaster Champion: Mitsurugi

Bob: AMAZING! NEW SWORDMASTER CHAMPION!!!

Ralph: UGH! Hell of a way of going about it! >_<

Jeice: You’re telling me… crikey… >_<

*Mitsurugi smirks, and yanks his sword out of Melvic! Melvic lets out a relived sigh, and rolls out of the ring! Mitsurugi just wipes the blood off his sword, sheathes it, then takes the Swordmaster belt from the ref. Meanwhile… the camera goes to another portion of the building… and to a shot of a “SSS” logo on the back of a navy blue leather jacket! The camera pans back as the person turns around, and it’s Shawn Shane Shields, (as expected… ^^;;). Susan TellaRusso is there with him, holding a UCTF mic*

Sue: Shawn… tonight you face Raven Darc for the third time in your career… but for the first time, you two won’t be on the same side… your thoughts?

Shawn: *sighs* I knew that my path would eventually cross with Raven again… just not like this, Sue. >=| I trusted Raven… I really did. I respected him as a fellow wrestler and as a friend. But Sue… that man, demon, whatever it is I’m going to fight tonight… that’s not the Raven Darc I know. And you know what? You can be damn sure that when you see me fighting him tonight… you’ll wonder how we EVER got along-

*Shawn’s suddenly cut off as his Tag Team partner William Clarke goes SCREAMING by! He’s being followed by about fifty women!*

Will: X_X!!! AAAGGHHHH!!!!

Women: H_H!!!

*They all run by, and when the dust clears, SSS is still standing there*

Shawn: e_e *ahem* Anyways…like I was saying… uhh… Sue? o_O

*Sue’s left, and has joined the crowd of women chasing Will!*

Sue: H_H!!

Shawn: e_e… right.

*Shawn just runs a hand through his hair, and leaves*

SSS vs Raven Darc

Intergalactic Title

*”Papercut” is keyed up, getting a fairly large pop from the fans, as out from behind the curtain comes Shawn Shane Shields, dressed in a blue leather jacket, and with a look of TOTAL determination on his face!*

Bob: Triple S here is uncharacteristically serious tonight!

Ralph: Well, maybe he knows what he’s up against.

Jeice: Damn right he better! I mean, he’s facing a bloody DEMON, right?

*”Die Mothah Fuckah Die” is keyed up next, which draws HUGE amounts of boos from the crowd, as Raven Darc comes out from behind the curtain, with a smirk on his face, and his IG belt over his shoulder!*

Bob: Raven may be the Intergalactic champion. but that’s probably the last thing on Shawn’s mind right now!

Ralph: Right now… he’s thinking REVENGE!

Jeice: Yeah, right… and he’s gonna get his arse whipped for it!

*Raven slides under the ropes, and into the ring. He drops his IG belt to the ground, then suddenly whips off his trenchcoat, revealing his demon form! His wingspan practically goes from one side of the ring to the next!*

Shawn: *gulps* o_o… >=|

*Shawn only drops his jacket to the ground, and gets into his fighting stance!*

*DING, DING, DING!!*

Bob: And here we go!!

*Shawn begins to circle around Raven as the demon just stands there, with his arms crossed! Shawn keeps his eyes on Raven… as if waiting for him to make the first move! Finally, Shawn breaks the stalemate by charging Raven, and trying to grab him into a headlock! But, right as Shawn grabs him, Raven powers RIGHT out of the move! Shawn jumps back up to his feet, but is knocked right back down by a kick from Raven! Shawn pulls himself up by the ropes, then charges once again! This time, though, Raven catches Shawn by the throat, and hoists him up into the air!*

Shawn: O_O!!

Raven: >=)

*Raven does a quick spin, then slams Shawn HARD to the mat!!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!

Bob: HUGE slam by Raven there!

*Shawn is down on the mat, coughing and trying to catch his breath! But Raven is right on him, and picks him up by the hair! Raven practically DRAGS Shawn over to the corner, and proceeds to POUND his head into the turnbuckle repeatedly!*

*THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!!*

*Raven KEEPS doing it nearly a dozen times! Finally, he lets Shawn drop to the mat, holding he head in pain! Raven smirks and gives him a stomp for good measure! The fans start booing him loudly!*

Raven: Feh… I’ll give them something to boo about…

*Raven picks up Shawn off the mat, and sets him up in the corner! He then kicks Shawn, and takes a couple of steps back! He holds out his palm…*

*BBZZZLAOWW!!!*

Shawn: YEEAAGGGHHH!!

*And fires a black thunderbolt into Shawn!!*

Jeice: Crikey! What’s that bollocks doing!?

Bob: He’s using his Black Thunder bolt attack!! Shawn’s in BIG trouble now!!

*Raven zaps Shawn with a few more bolts before yanking him out of the corner! He whips Shawn into the ropes, charges up his right arm, and DRILLS Shawn into the mat with a massive clothesline! Shawn’s body is twitching spastically on the mat, but Raven is not through with him! Raven grabs Shawn by one leg, steps on the other, and begins to PULL on it!*

Bob: And now he’s trying to pull Shawn’s leg out of the socket!!

*Shawn struggles and squirms under the Demon’s grip, but he refuses to give up! Raven FINALLY lets Shawn go, and Shawn pants while on the ground, holding his leg! But, Raven then proceeds to grab BOTH legs, flips Shawn over, and then places Shawn in a boston crab position… WHILE STANDING ON HIS SHOULDERS!!*

Shawn: X_X!!!

Jeice: Blimey! I know for a fact that on it’s own that move hurts like hell… but combine that with Raven’s weight on his back… Shawn’s GOTTA be going through hell now!

*Shawn is practically SCREAMING with pain, but STILL refuses to tap out! Raven lets go of the hold, and Shawn just LAYS on the mat, his body limp from pain! The ref goes over to check on him*

Ref: THAT’S IT! RING THE-

Raven: NO!!! >=| THIS MATCH ISN’T OVER!!

*Raven’s eyes are BLOODSHOT with hatred!*

Ref: o_o… nevermind then…

*Raven picks up Shawn’s body, and tosses it over his shoulder! He runs with Shawn, and SLAMS him back first into the turnbuckle! Shawn falls to the mat, breathing, but barely able to move!*

Bob: Oh come on… this is sick!

Ralph: Raven won’t let the ref end the match!! It’s only going to be over when Raven SAYS that it’s over!

Jeice: >_< I think we’re in for a LONG night then, boys.

*Raven drags Shawn’s body into the center of the ring, then locks on a body scissors on Shawn, along with a double arm wrench! Shawn yells out in pain again!*

Bob: The Tetra Demon Lock!! I bet if Shawn COULD tap out, he would be now!!

*Shawn continues to yell out in pain, but Raven waits nearly TWENTY SECONDS before breaking the hold! Shawn collapses on the mat, breathing hard, and STILL barely able to move!*

Ralph: This is a mismatch… LOOK at this!! Shawn’s DEAD!

Jeice: Not quite, but he WILL be if he doesn’t get out of there!!

Bob: o_o… Are you saying he should run like a bitch?

Jeice: Hey, there’s a time and a place to face down a demon… AND THIS ISN’T EITHER ONE!

*Raven gets up off the mat, then starts STRETCHING in the ring! The fans UNLEASH a roar of boos towards him!*

Raven: *smirks* >=)

*Suddenly, a bunch of CHAINS shoot out from Raven’s arm, and wrap around Shawn’s body! Shawn wrangles with them, but suddenly stops and yells out in pain as Raven sends a shot of electricity through them! Shawn’s body goes limp, but he snaps RIGHT back to attention, as Raven blasts him with another shot of dark energy!!*

Ralph: GOOD GOD! WOULD SOMEONE STOP THIS?! >=| THIS SHOUDN’T BE ALLOWED! A HUMAN versus a DEMON!?

Bob: But they’ve fought TWICE before!

Jeice: And did Raven use his demon form before? e_e

Bob: ….point.

Jeice: Bollocks. >=|

*Raven yanks on Shawn’s body, and pulls Shawn close to him! He then KICKS Shawn in the gut, driving him back, and then shocking him AGAIN for good measure! Shawn is blown back INTO the corner, as Raven withdraws the chains from his body! Shawn is slumped against the ropes, just BARELY on his feet!*

Raven: … I think he’s had enough. >=) Time to finish his ass off.

*Raven approaches Shawn slowly! Shawn’s breathing heavily, and can barely focus as Raven comes closer! Raven then grabs Shawn by the neck again, and hoists him up!*

Raven: Any last words before I get rid of you?

Shawn: *coughs* yeah… >=| Go to HELL.

*Mustering up the last bit of strength he has in him, Shawn swings his leg in Raven’s face, and PLASTERS him with a Venom Strike!! Raven drops him and stumbles back, as Shawn pulls himself up to the top turnbuckle, and launches off! He TACKLES Raven in mid-air, and in the process, hooks one leg as Raven lands back-first on the mat!! The ref goes down and gives a partially quick count!*

Ref: 1..2…3!!!!

*DING, DING, DING!!!!*

Bob, Ralph & Jeice: *SPIT TAKE*

*The crowd EXPLODES as Shawn rolls off of Raven’s body, exhausted beyond belief, but the victor nonetheless!!*

Bob: AMAZING!!! NEW INTERGALACTIC CHAMPION!!!

Ralph: MY GOD!!! HOW DID HE DO THAT!?

Jeice: Okay, I have to see that AGAIN on principle ALONE!

*The cameras quickly shift to a slow-motion replay, showing Shawn catching Raven off-guard, and pinning him!*

Jeice: …..crikey.

WINNER and NEW UCTF Intergalactic Champion: Shawn Shane Shields

*Raven IMMEDIETLY pops up from the mat, and GLARES at Shawn, as Shawn pulls himself up by the ropes, with the IG belt over his shoulder! Shawn FREEZES in fear as Raven gets to his feet, and stares him down!*

Raven: >=|….

Shawn: o_o…

Raven: >=|…. =|…. >=)….

Shawn: o_O?

Armitage: Oh SHAAAAWWWNNNNN….

*EVERYONE in the arena turns their attention to the TitanTron, as it’s focused on Armitage backstage! She’s got a HUGE smirk on her face!*

Armitage: Well, well, well…. you’ve finally beaten Raven Darc. I’m proud of you Shawn… really. I am. >=)

Bob: o_o… what the…

Armitage: But while you’re the winner now… in the long run… you LOSE Shawn.

*She then suddenly YANKS someone up into the camera view!*

Shawn: O_O!!! RAN!

*Armitage has got Shawn’s girlfriend, Ran *ahem* “Hibiki” tied up, with duct tape over her mouth, and her gun to her head!!*

Armitage: Have fun with that belt, Shawn… because it’s the only companionship you’re going to have. >=)

Ran: *muffled* SSSSSWWWWNNNN!!!

*The Tiantron goes off, and Shawn spins to Raven!*

Shawn: >=|!!! RAVEN!!

Raven: >=) See you later, junior.

*Raven then takes to the air, and swoops his way out of the arena, blasting a hole in the roof for himself to fly out!*

Bob: I don’t believe this!! It was a set-up!!

Ralph: Armitage and Raven Darc were working together to set up Shawn, and kidnap his girlfriend!

*Shawn watches Raven take off… flips him the bird, then slides OUT of the ring, and makes a BEELINE for the back!*

Ralph: And Shawn’s heading for the back!!

*The cameras cut to the back, where Armitage is dragging Ran along with her, towards a waiting hummer, with Recon and X in it!*

Armitage: I GOT HER!! FLOOR IT!!

*She TOSSES Ran into the back, and the Hummer takes off! Mere SECONDS later, Shawn’s voice can be heard SCREAMING*

Shawn: HEY!!! HEYYY!!! >=| DAMMIT!!!

*Shawn quickly darts over to where his El Camino is parked, JUMPS in, starts it up, and makes TRACKS out of the parking lot as he gives chase! The cameras follow him until he leaves the lot, then cut to Ralph, Bob, and Jeice at the commentator’s table*

Bob: …well… this is… *ahem*

Ralph: A very interesting… to say the least… situation…

Jeice: *snakes his head and takes a drink of his Fruitopia* Wankers.

Bob: Well, that’s it for tonight’s broadcast! For the orange crusher and the hentai commentator, this is Bobby Hinden saying goodnight and see you next week!!

>=) and see YOU next week too, BOBBY BOY!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Bob: AHHHHHHHH!! X_x!!

 

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