Rezo Vs. Negutsu | President Clinton Vs. Shayla Shayla | Shootingstar Vs. T-Rex | Agent D Vs. Forrest Gump | New Wave Dave Vs. Tatewaki Kuno | Rally Vs. Kome Vs. Roland


RESULTS

 

The crowd in the UCTF grand colleseum has been anxiously awaiting the start of the first ever Ultimate Crossover Tournament fighting Card. Many days of waiting in line for tickets will soon pay of when they will be able to see the multiverse’s greatest fighters do battle.

As if to welcome them all President Tarot has made his way to the center of the stadium. he’s donning a trenchcoat, sunglasses, leather gloves and a black brimmed hat. He tilts his hat back, he looks quite young, somewhere between 25 and 30. the microphone he holds n his left hand is brought up to his lips.

“How are we tonight?!” The crowd begins cheering wildly as Tarot seems to be enjoying the response.

“I wish to welcome you all to Ultimate Crossover Tournamant Fighting. let me tell you all someting, the response i have been getting for this fighting league is outstanding. If it weren’t for the interest that you all showed this night would not be happening. I don’t want to waste your money by babbleing all night, so I say LET THE BATTLES BEGIN!”

He exits the arena and takes a seat up in the center balchony.

Just as he sits down a figure makes his way to the center of the arena, it’s Rezo the red preist. He looks calm and ready for his match with Nugutsu Mushuru, who is running into the arena now.

Rezo v. Nugutsu

After several seconds of silence Nugutsu breaks it. “Rezo… you will die now.” Rezo merely smiled. “I’ve been there. I’m not about to let it happen again.”

“You do not understand, your sight is your weakness.”

“You fool! I am blind as well.”

“Oh I see, well maybe this will be harder than I thought.” he draws out his katana and charges at Rezo. instead of striking him, though, he merely bounces off of a shield field created by the red priest

“FLARE ARROW!!!”

Several tiny flaming arrows chase after the fallen nugutsu who is able to dodge each of them as if he really could see. Not wanting to risk runing into an invisible wall again he throws his blade at Rezo, who in turn…

“STONE SPIKE!”

several Pillars emerge fromthe ground protrudng several stories into the sky. Nugutsu happened to be on one of them.

However the hilt of Nugutsu’s blade beams rezo in the ehad sending him flailing to the ground. he hits is head on a rock and is out cold. Nusutsu is still on the pillar.

“Uhh.. can somebody get me down from here?”
WINNER: Nugutsu

As the grand staff attempts to rid the arena of the spikes, as well as help Nugutsu down from his, the attention is turned to the giant monitors on the four main corners of the arena

It’s getting ready to show the warehouse match between Bill Clinton and Shayla Shayla

Bill Clinton v. Shayla Shayla

Bill is driving a fork lift to the center of the warehouse while Shayla Shayla sits atop an overhead crane. She looks ready for a fight. Bill, on the other hand looks ready for something else.

“Come on down, hon, and gimme some hot lovin’.”

Shayla couldn’t believe what she was hearing, a man who she was about to fight was trying to escape it by charming her. It wouldn’t work, but she would play along anyway.

“Sure.” She jumped down off of the crane and shouted a battle cry. Or at least it sounded like a battle cry.

“HENTAI!!!!”

With that she kicked Bill sending him off of his Tow Motor. He laughed. “You must really like me sugar”

“Ha!”

“Come on over here and give us a kiss huh?”

They did not notice that the fork lift ran staright into a stack of boxes sending them tumbling to the ground and covering the fighters completelty.

The place was quiet and still untill–

FWOOSH!

Bill burst out from beneath the boxes with his clothes on fire. “Hey, what’s you do that for!?”

Shayla emerged fromt he pile of burning cardboard. “You know damn well why I did that.”

“Come on, it’s just a breast.”

That really got to her. “Only a breast!? ONLY A BREAST!?” Her rage was full, burning with the fires she controled.

Bill knew what was about to happen. “Uh.. look I’m uh sorry… I’ll take you out to a nice dinner, buy you some flowers. Whatever you want just don’t–”

It was too late, Shayla was far too pissed to listen to reason or negotiations. A steady stream of fire prodruded from her wrist as if it were a flame thrower charring the president. She then kicked him in the jaw, he fell down very dazed. She picke dhim up and hooked him to the overhead crane. She operated the crane like a dock laborer over a compost heap and lowered him slowly into it.

“Damn pervert”
WINNER: Shayla Shayla

The monitors faded out and then back to a field as Shayla uttered these final words. a load crash is heard and teh next match is ready to take place

Shootingstar v. T-rex

Bob and ralph make there way to the announcers booth, late as usual.

Ralph- we can’t stay long, we’ve got dinner dates

BoB- Well folks, for this next match we move to our open air ring because the President thought that it might get a bit crowded in there with these next two fighters. That’s right folks, for all of you brave enough to attend this match up we have T-Rex vs the dragon Shootingstar. As I can see clearly now our first fighter is entering from our left side and it is T-Rex. and after only a few steps he enters the fighting area.

Ralph- That’s right Bob, with fighters this size we really were not able to have a actual ring. So we cleared a much larger fighting space.

BoB- That was a vivid description there Ralph.

Ralph- Why thank you Bob.

BoB T-rex is now standing in the area but there is no sigh of Shootingstar. I wonder where he is?

Ralph- Maybe his tail is dragon today?

BoB- Thanks for the pun there Ralph. Shut up. Hmmm this is odd, there is no Shootingstar. T-rex has just taken a seat in the center of the fighting area. And we are really starting to run behind schedule here. We could cut to a commercial now if there were commercials here, but I guess we aren’t that lucky eh Ralph?

Ralph- No

BoB- I would like to add here that the combined weight here of these two fighters is over

Ralph- Wait!!!!! Look at that!!! in the sky!!!!!!

BoB- Oh my God. It’s a bird, it’s a plane, holy s#*$ it’s Shootingstar!!!

Ralph- I don’t think you can say s%$& on here Bob?

BoB- And Shootingstar swooped down into the fighting area and flies back up again! Wow ralph, this is tremendous!

Ralph- Oh, I agree.

BoB- Shootingstar circles around and lands in the center of the fighting area, and the crowd Explodes! Wow the chant of “shootingstar” has begun. And they begin! T-rex gets down low and starts biting at Shootingstar’s softer underside. But Shootingstar is able to easily distance him with with his long talons. T-rex rears up but before he is able to do anything, Shootingstar lunges! Shootingstar has a firm grip on T-rex’s upper leg! T-rex is trying to bite the back of Shootingstar’s neck, but Shootingstar’s arms are flailing and keeping T-rex from getting his head too close. Those claws could take out an eye too easily.

Ralph- But look, T-rex is kicking the underside of Shootingstar. And there is some blood there. Oh my! Shootingstar pulls away to avoid the deadly kick of T-rex and takes off a chunk of his leg! T-rex falls to the ground!

BoB- Shootingstar now sinks his teeth and claws into the stomach of t-rex tearing it apart. woah, scales are flying everywhere! Shootingstar is now thrashing into the intestines of T-rex.

Ralph- I’d say this one is over.

BoB- NO! Look T- rex has just bitten into the ankle of Shootingstar with his last gasps. And Shootingstar lets of a roar that I think broke all of the glass in this dimension. Shootingstar stops going at T-rex’s stomach and takes a look at his ankle, It has about 200 teeth sunk into it, and is broken I think.

Ralph- Yeah, it is definitely broken.

BoB- Hey look at this! Shootingstar has severed the still attached head of T-rex. And he is flying off…. Well Shooting star is obviously the victor of this match, since the open carcass of T-rex is now rotting on the floor. Good thing he’s only a machine. But Shootingstar did not escape this fight without a scratch, not by a long shot! He is lucky that he did not lose a wing, or worse. I would not call this a perfect victory.

Ralph- Nope, not at all.

BoB- Thanks Ralph.

A regualr ring has been lowered intot he arena for the next match…

Agent D v. Forrst Gump

BoB- Alright folks, this next match I think is going to be a pretty interesting one I think. It has been called by some “the Agent vs. The Idiot” That’s right it is Forrest Gump vs. Agent D a very unlikely match up if you ask me Ralph. Ralph-Uhhh yeah bob.

BoB- Killer drop in there ralph. Whoop, here comes the first competitor entering the ring, and by the sounds of the crowd i am assuming that it is agent D.

Ralph- I agree. this is really an anime supporting crowd I think there bob. And yes I can see now, it is in fact Agent D.

(D enters the ring very solemnly, wearing a trench coat)

BoB: Okay now here come Forrest running into the ring, wow he got there pretty quick, maybe he thinks that he has got a chance after all.

Ralph- I think that he does bob, from all that I have heard from him. he has been very optimistic.

BoB- And theres the bell. Right away D pulls out a sword that he had stashed away in his coat and charges forrest with it! Forrest is running away!!!!!

Ralph- Actually bob he is running in circles around the ring….

BoB- That’s right Forrest is simply evading the blade of D. Not that I blame him though. WAIT. Forrest jumps off the ropes and behind D. Forrest puts D in a sleeper hold from behind. d drops his blade and starts grabbing at Forrest’s arm. Forrest really applying the pressure now! Wow this may be an upset!!! I think it will be! D falls to his knees and is turning red. Forrest still putting on the death grip.

Ralph- Look, D has gone completely limp! his hands slide off of forrest’s arm.

BoB- And Forrest lets D fall to the ground! Forrest is now stomping on agent D. But it looks as if D is starting to show some movement again. And it is a remarkable show of strength by D here even keeping awake! Maybe he is used to this kind of stuff? And D rolls out of the ring eluding the trampling boots of Forrest Gump. But wait! As D is catching his breath Forrest has climbed to the top rope! He jumps at Agent D with a foreward kick, but D dives out of the way D running around the ring trying to escape the crazed Alabaman looks fatigued, but is still making an effort. Forrest is catching up to D, and D pulls a back hand, and cracks Forrest right in the jaw! Forrest flies back about six feet and lands on the ground! D jumps back into the ring under the ropes. And removes his trenchcoat… he seems to be wearing a pick teddy. you can hear forrest speak

Forrest- momma always said men who wear women’s underwear are fun to laugh and point at.

Ralph- Look D is going for his sword again! I don’t think he liked that comment about his attire.

BoB- He didn’t.

Ralph- You know bob, I would think with all of the high tech technology that D’s race has, he would use a weapon slightly better than a sword.

BoB- I agree but never the less, a sword is what he has. And D has sliced through the ropes and is taunting Forrest to come back into the ring. Hey, Forrest is returning, he is going right for the blade of D’s sword.

Ralph- What an idiot.

BoB- And D slashes at the head of forrest Gump. Forrest falls down and out of the ring with a huge slice down the front of his head and face. But Forrest gets up! Wow that took some guts. Forrest staggers towards the ring. Agent D kicks Forrest in the head almost removing the skin. NOW THAT HAD TO HURT!

Agent D- Stupid is as stupid does Forrest!

Bob- Agent D is now taunting forrest again Ralph, this guy is ruthless!

Ralph- He sure is.

BoB- Thanks for that comment there Ralph….. And it looks as if Forrest is not getting up. Yep, here comes the medical team. And this fight is over, after 17 minutes and 58 seconds Agent D about skins the head of forrest. Well now fro something a little more cheerful eh?

Winner: Agent D

As they drag forrest off on a stretcher the announcers take leave for our next match

NWD v. Kuno

Der Kommisar plays over the loudspeakers as New Wave dave makes his way to the ring. he’s wearing his usual sportcoat (black with red nwd on the lapel and the words “Rock On” on the back) a pair of black jeans, an xtc Black Sea tour shirt and a pair of hiking boots. the crowd seems to love this guys even though the major bookies have him losing. He just looks like he’s out to have fun.

Taktewaki Kuno makes his entrance. he’s wielding his boken, as usual and appears to be quite arrogant, as usual. He speaks.

“As a giant may squash a bug between his toes without enduring but a scratch, so shall I destroy thee, insolent welp.”

“ha ha. A giant huh? Kuno, I remember reading a story about a guy named dave who destroyed a giant with a couple of stones.. well, giant, Dave is here!”

“You dare mock Tatewaki kuno, blue thunder of Furinken high. New Wave Dave, I SHALL SMITE THEE!”

Kuno charges Dave. “AYETATATATATATATATATA—” ans is cut short by a little girl.

“There you are Serge, I’ve been looking all over for you.” It was Azusa, and she had fallen for Kuno’s boken.

“He’s so CUTE.”

“Small child, this is Tatewaki kuno’s sacred boken.”

“Uh-uh, it’s Azusa’s little Serge… give him to me!” She starts to pund Kuno with a frying pan named “Collete.” “SERGE SERGE SERGE!” the frying pan has been upgraded to a chair named “Jean-Claude,” “SERGE SERGE SERGE!” Now Azusa has picked upa startled NWD and throws him at Kuno, they both fly into a turnbuckle and are knocked out. Azusa picks up Serge, uh I mean kuno’s Boken.

“It’s okay, Serge, I’ll protect you.”

WINNER- Double count out, no contest

AND NOW THE MAIN EVENT

Kome v. Roland v. Rally

the entire place goes black and when the lights do come up we see rally sitting in a corner with kome and roland sitting in the middle, a voice is heard over the loudspeakers. “a day will come when all will fear me.. this is just an example of the power i hold in the darkness.. rally concider his a gift and an invitation to join me

Rally looks down at the ground, “Uh Gimme soem time to think about that one okay?”

The voice speaks again, “you have until wednesday, gunslinger”

The place goes black again and when the light come up the entire stadium is empty

Winner- Rally Vincent

 

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