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Ralph: I’m not looking forward to this.

Bob: Why?

Ralph: We have the strongest tag team vs the weakest tag team. FAI

got this one hands down.

Bob: You may have a point, but here comes the two pairs.

Ralph: What is Azusa holding in her arms.

Azusa: Finally, you and I are together again Ester. I shall never let you out of my sight ever again.

Carbunkle: HELP ME!!!!

Bob: Is that Carbunkle?

Ralph: I think so.

Bob: The bell rings…

(DING!)

Ralph: The fight begins. Fireball & Makato is in the ring. Makato tries to skate his way to fight against Fireball, but he misses!

Bob: Fireball makes a karate chop to Makato’s neck… and Makato is out!

Ralph: Azusa is in the ring… with Ester, uh, I mean Carbunkle.

Azusa: That wasn’t very cute.

Fireball: Who are you… what is that? It looks like Furby on drugs.

Carbunkle: EXSQUEEZE ME?!?!

Azusa: I’ll make you pay for this!

Ralph: What’s Carbunkle doing?

Bob: She’s out of Azusa’s grip!

Carbunkle: First Victoro, now you? I’ll make you pay for kidnapping me Azusa!

Bob: What’s Carbunkle doing now?

Ralph: Ah! My eyes!

Bob: It must be the Ruby Light.

Carbunkle: Okay FAI, it’s your turn now!

Bob: I can’t see! All I hear is the crackling of fire and the shimmering of ice.

Ralph: Is it the Burning Winter?

Bob: Nah, can’t be. Azusa is too weak for that.

Ralph: The Ruby Light has faded away, and Azusa is down.

Bob: FAI wins.

Ralph: Why am I not surpsrised?

Winner: FireAnIce

BoB- All right, our second fight tonight will be a tag match which will be the Ginyu Force, Burter and Jiece, vs. Jin Saotome, and Eiji Kisaragi, who will be making his debut here.
Ralph- Not the best idea I would think to make a debut appearance against these guys, but it makes for good entertainment I guess.

BoB- That’s right, and here comes the Ginyu Force right now!

(Ginyu Force enters down the east isle to cheers from the crowd)

Ralph- And the Ginyu Force is getting a pretty nice welcoming here tonight. And Burter makes his way into the ring as Jin and Eiji now enter the arena and get an even louder greeting from the crowd!

BoB- Both fighters step down to the ring and….. It looks as though Eiji Kisaragi will be in first against Burter.

(Ding)

Ralph- And there’s the bell! Burter charges at Eiji right off the bat, but Eiji leaps at Burter with a flying kick that grazes the head of Burter but does little damage!

BoB- Eiji lands with his back to Burter who grabs him from behind and throws him to the canvas! Eiji bounces right back up though and lands an uppercut to the Chin of Burter! Burter is sent back and Eiji follows through with a series of jabs and hooks to the head of Burter who is trying to defend himself! Eiji still coming at Burter pushes him into the corner and hits him with a knee to the stomach! Burter Doubles over but is lifted back up to a straight position!

Ralph- And Eiji Kisaragi is showing no mercy as he pummels on Burter who is now in the corner!

BoB- Burter grabs on to Eiji and now pulls him to the ground. But Eiji wrestles himself free from Burter’s grasp, picks him up over his had and it’s a BACK BREAKER!!

Ralph- Burter is on the ground, but in comes Jiece with a steel chair! And Jiece smashes in over the head of Eiji! Eiji goes down and in comes Jin Saotome!

Jin- So that’s how you want to play it eh?

BoB- and Jin comes straight at Jiece and hits him with a Saotome Smash! If that’s what those are called. Jiece is sent back to the ropes and Jin lunges in with a side kick to the chest area of Jiece who now bounces off the ropes and into an overhand punch from Jin!

Ralph- And Jiece is now down! But Jin is hit from behind by Burter! Burter tackles Jin and is holding him on the ground on his stomach! Burter Grabs Jin by the back of his hair and begins slamming his face into the canvas! Jin is trying but is unsuccessful at beating Burter off of him!

BoB- and this could be trouble For Jin and Eiji, who seems to be out cold! Burter Picks up Jin and throws him foreword into the turnbuckle and follows up with a punch to the back of his head! Burter grabs Jin by the back of his shoulders but is sent back by a backhand punch By Jin!

Ralph- Now it’s Jin attacking Burter with a vast combination of kicks and punches! And Jin tries to get a hold on Burter, but Burter grabs both wrists of Jin Saotome and sends him back to the ropes with a head butt!

BoB- Jin, grasping his nose is now sent to the ground by a hook from Burter. Burter picks Jin back up and now throws him over the ropes and onto the floor outside the ring!

Ralph- The Reff is beginning to count as Jin slowly gets up. He approaches the side of the ring where Burter is standing taunting him!

Reff- 1, 2, 3, 4…

BoB- And Jin throws a roundhouse under the ropes and hits Burter in the knees tripping him!

Reff- 5, 6, 7…

Ralph- And Jin pulls Burter out of the ring with him!!! Jin holding Burter by the collar slams his head into the three and a half foot steel gate around the ring area!

BoB- Good lord! What is keeping Jin going! he has basically had the crap kicked out of him and is still able to fight!

Ralph- That’s right, Same for Burter though, he has taken some pretty intense punishment, and is still punching.

BoB- That may all change here though Ralph. And Burter is on the ground and is not showing any signs of movement! Jin climbs back up into the ring and the Reff begins to count!

Reff- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…..

Ralph- Wait! Burter has gotten up!!!! And it looks as though he is about to re-enter the ring!

(Jin picks up the steel chair that was used to knock out Eiji and hurls it at Burter knocking him down)

BoB- And he throws the chair at Burter! Burter goes down again!!!!

Reff- 8, 9, 10!

Ralph- And it’s finally over! Jin and Eiji have beaten the Ginyu force! With a massive battle there between Jin and Burter!! An outstanding show of strength by all four fighters!

BoB- That’s right, in fact I’d bet that the fight would have been MUCH shorter had Eiji not been rendered unconscious.

Ralph- I would have to agree with you there Bob. he threw Burter around like a rag doll there for a while. But who know what would have happened if Jin didn’t hit Jiece with that mega punch that knocked him out.

BoB- I don’t know Ralph. But now we had better move on to our next fight which is the Saiyans Elite vs. The Saiyan police, whoever they are.

Winners- Jin Saotome, and Eiji Kisarage

Bob: Now for our next fight, Saiyin Police Vs. Saiyins Elite.

Ralph: This would be interesting to see that four saiyins will be fighting amongst each other.

Bob: News flash Ralph. The Saiyin Police are not saiyins.

Ralph: What?!?!

Bob: They’re really Otaki & Tamiya. They’re from the Nekomi Tech Auto Club.

Ralph: In that case, let’s see who will die first.

Bob: Saiyins are much more stronger than humans. Goku & Vegita has the one wrapped around theri tails.

???: The name is Kakarott!!

Bob: Very well. On with the fight.

Ralph: Vegita is at his corner.

Bob: Tamiya in at his cornder.

Ralph: The bell rings…

(DING!)

Ralph: And they’re off!

Vegita: I shall slay you for mocking the saiyin race!

Tamiya: Oh shut up Veggie Boy!

Bob: Tamiya, with a lead pipe in his hand, strikes at Vegita.

Ralph: Vegita caught the pipe with his left hand! Amazing!

Bob: When is Goku going to fight?

Kakarott: I said the name is Kakarott!

Bob: Oh, sorry.

Ralph: Vegita throws the lead pipe aside and throws a lot of punches at Tamiya!

Bob: He’s is not going to last long in there with Vegita.

Ralph: Remember Devilman? He easily beat Vegita.

Bob: I think he was lucky. That fight ended too fast.

Vegita: This is for mocking the saiyin race you charlatan!

Tamiya: Why don’t you shut up and do something about that screwed up hairstyle of yours!

Ralph: Those two are locked in combat! Every attack they throw is match with a surprisingly equal blow. It looks like Tamiya is wearing down!

Otaki: Hold on Tamiya-sensei! I’m coming!

Bob: Otaki is coming in the ring. He too is with a lead pipe!

Ralph: Otaki beans Vegita with the pipe.. and does nothing?!?!

Bob: That has to hurt!

Vegita: Kakarott, dispose of this charlatan as well.

Kakarott: With pleasure!

Ralph: Goku is coming in the ring and…

Kakarott: It’s KAKAROTT! CALL ME KAKAROTT!!!

Otaki: Eat lead monkey-boy!

Bob: Otaki strikes Go… I mean Kakarott with the pipe. He does not budge! What is he? Robocop?!

Ralph: He has to be hurting from that!

Kakarott: KAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Ralph: Whoa! Goku just smacked Otaki with his Kamehameha Wave. Otaki is down!

(A beam of energy grazes Ralph’s head. Kakarott jumps up to the announcers box.)

Kakarott: For the last time, the name is KAKAROTT! Call me Goku again, and I’ll send you to the next dimension!

(Kakarott jumps back to the arena.)

Kakarott: Okay Vegita. The other charlatan is all your now.

Vegita: Good work Kakarott. Oh, as for you Tamiya…

Tamiya: Yeah… what?

Vegita: BANG!

Bob: Vegita struck down Tamiya with his Big Bang technique. Tamiya is down!

Ralph: It looks like Vegita & Go…

Kakarott: Ahem!

Ralph: Uhh… I mean… It looks like Vegita & Kakarott, the Saiyins Elite wins the fight.

Bob: You’re afraid of him.

Ralph: Wouldn’t you be?

Bob: Hmmm… That’s understandable.

Winner: Saiyins Elite

Bob: Ahh… Archangel Gabriel will now be fighting fellow street fighter, Ryu.

Ralph: I’m glad he feels better now. He really pushed himself when he fought against Victoro not too long ago.

Bob: Well… he’s here, so is Gabriel. (DING!)

Bob: Gabriel draws his sword and strikes Ryu, but misses.

Ralph: Ryu counters with a hurricane kick. Gabriel received a few hits, but he blocked most of the hits.

Garbiel: The armies of God are marching down and you shall recieve judgement!

Ryu: For what?

Gabriel: For your evil deeds.

Ryu: Like what, defeating the infamous Victoro?

Gabriel: It was you who fought against Victoro?

Ryu: Yes. It was he who was responsible for the recent chaos, and I stopped him for that.

Gabriel: It appears that I was misinformed. I apologize for that.

Bob: Garbriel is leaving?

Ralph: This is unexepted.

Bob: It looks like Ryu wins the fight.

Winner: Ryu

BoB- All right everyone, we have a great fight for you here now. It’s Che the unstable Angel vs. Najaro the Wind Wizard.

Ralph- This should be a good fight, because both of these fighters are rookies, and only had a few fights, if that. However they do show promise, and look to be outstanding fighters which could be top contenders very soon.

BoB- Well, that’s assuming that Che doesn’t kill himself first though.

Ralph- Of course.

BoB- Well, it looks as though we don’t have to waist any time because here comes Che flying to the ring now!

(Che enters to several cheers)

BoB-Che has entered the ring, and now here come Najaro!

Ralph- Both fighters are now in the ring, Najaro looking very calm and cool, but Che is of looking like he is having a bit of a personal problem here…

Che- Concentrate… Concentrate… I will win you will never beat me! We are one now and forever What is this?!!?!?! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

(ding)

BoB- Just as the bell rings Che begins screaming and flies towards Najaro!!! His eyes glowing bright red!

Ralph- And Che Grabs Najaro in mid air and flies into the turn buckle with him… Oh my God! and he shatters right through the turn buckle with the back of Najaro!

Najaro- Hoy! Como!

BoB- And Che slams Najaro onto the ground while sitting on top of him and viscously! Najaro is trying to fend Che off but is unsuccessful! Che is going berserk and beating the crap out of Najaro who can’t cast any spells because he is getting pummeled by the insane hell angel! But wait! here comes Erlos! Erlos Tackles Che and puts him in a full nelson!

Erlos- I can’t let you kill someone just because you are some skitso Angel of some sort no can I!?

Ralph- Erlos throws Che back into the ring where Che continues to go ballistic and now attack Erlos! Erlos trying to fend Che off is actually being reasonable successful!

BoB- And this fight is technically over, as Najaro is counted out, and security guards enter with straight jackets!

Ralph- This is pandemonium!

BoB- That’s why it’s the UCTF Ralph!

Winner- Che

BoB- Here’s an interesting match up. It will be Tom Dyron Making his Debut fight against the #4 ranked Guyver. Now I am kind of at a loss for words here, on why Some Now guy would fight Guyver.

Ralph- So am I Bob, but we will just have to wait and find out just how good or bad Tom really is.

BoB- That’s right, Tom is the new “bad guy” in the UCTF with really no regard for just about anything. Now supposedly he does have a fighting history but I think that the UCTF will be a whole nother ball game for him.

Ralph- So do I. And speak of the Devil here comes Tom Dyron now!

(Tom Dyron enters wearing all black and a shirt that says “f*ck the world” on it. He is also wearing dark sunglasses and has his hair pulled back in a pony tail. Several boos can be heard coming from the crowd and Tom takes off his jacket and glasses)

BoB- And listen to that crowd! Tom has a very hostile crowd against him tonight. Tom is now entering the ring, and here comes the Guyver!

(An explosion of cheers can be heard)

Ralph- Would you listen to that.

BoB- Yeah, Guyver seems to be a crowd favorite here tonight. And now both fighters are in the ring and we are just awaiting the opening bell…

(Ding)

Ralph- And there’s the bell! Both Tom, and Guyver charge at each other and collide in the center of the ring! And Guyver knocks Tom to ropes! Tom bounces off and comes back at Guyver who slashes one of his vibro blades at the head of Tom! Tom ducks the deadly blade and foes over the other rope and now bounces off of it!

BoB- Tom comes back and slams Guyver with a Clothes line! Guyver goes down but comes right back up! Guyver leaps at Tom Dyron and knocks him across the ring and through the ropes with a jump kick! Tom picks up a steel chair, and hurls in through the ropes and hits the legs of Guyver! Guyver goes down and before he can get back up Tom re-enters the ring with a 2×4, and crushes Guyver in the back of the head with it! Guyver stumbles a bit but gets up only to be hit by the 2×4 again! Guyver now with both vibro blades extended swings violently at Tom who dodges each slash.

Ralph- And Tom tries to hit the vibro blades of Guyver with the 2×4 but they slice it right in two! And Tom gets distracted by the 2×4 being converted into two 2x2s and his hit directly in the center of the face by a punch from Guyver.

BoB- Tom is sent back but is still standing. And now Guyver leaps at Tom and tackles him into the corner of the ring! Tom puts Guyver in a head lock and Guyver grabs the stomach of Tom Dyron and begins to squeeze!

Ralph- And Tom looks like he is in pain there, but he does not release the head of Guyver!

BoB- Tom struggling to breath finally has to let go of Guyver and try to break his grip.

Ralph- And Tom eases the hands of Guyver just enough to get a breath of air before he Hits Guyver in the face with an elbow, seriously messing up the face plate of Guyver! Guyver is sent back and now it’s Tom coming at Guyver!

BoB- Tom grabs Guyver from behind lifts him up and flips backward smashing both of their heads on the steel chair laying in the ring!

Ralph- And what’s this?! It appears that both fighters are knocked out!

BoB- The reff inspects them, and…. Yes it’s a double knockout! Folks, this fight is a draw!

Ralph- Wow! Tom Dyron, though very disliked, is not a bad fighter, he has gotten a draw with the number four ranked fighter in the UCTF.

BoB- Not a bad accomplishment there.

Ralph- Not at all!

Winner- Draw

BoB- Well folks, these next two fights are the ones that we all have been waiting for. It’s The farewell match between Devilman and Beowulf, and Xiahau will try and defend his title against the mighty demon Erlos.

Ralph- That’s right, for now though it will be the Devilman vs. Beowulf fight. How do you see this one going Bob?

BoB- Well Ralph, Beowulf will be fighting as hard as he possibly can, but then again Devilman IS the number one ranked fighter in the whole UCTF, and he has only lost one fight here ever, and even that was a very close fight with a lot of interference. So I would have to go with Devilman.

Ralph- Normally I would agree with you Bob, but I think that this being Beowulf’s last fight and all he will not let himself lose. He will do whatever it takes to win, because leaving on a losing note would not look good.

(Lights dim)

BoB- Well, I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens. But here comes Devilman flying into the ring now!

(The crowd is on their feet as Devilman lands in the ring)

Ralph- And here is Devilman, and he is looking ready for business.

(Lights go out, and the room is illuminated by lasers and white smoke coming from the entrance that Beowulf enters through. Cruel Angel Thesis begins to play as he walks towards the ring, and enters. The crowd is sill on their feet and more cheers can be heard from them. Many signs can also be seen supporting Beowulf, and say stuff like “good bye”

BoB- Quite an entrance there Ralph!

Ralph- I’ll say, both fighters look very focused and ready to go here tonight.

(Ding)

BoB- And there’s the bell! Devilman as usual flies towards Beowulf and thrashes his claws at Beowulf’s face. Beowulf dodges, grabs the arm of Devilman and throws him into the turn buckle! Beowulf now advances towards Devilman and the two fighters lock up! Devilman forces himself out of the corner but Beowulf breaks the hold, grabs Devilman by the wrist and back of the neck, and slams him face first into the canvas!! Devilman tries to get up but is grabbed from behind by Beowulf and put into a suphlex!

Ralph- That couldn’t have felt too good there Bob.

BoB- Not at all Ralph. But Devilman gets back up! And once again attacks Beowulf! Devilman madly swings his claws at him but is unable to connect! Beowulf tries to come in and now tackle Devilman but in a frenzy is caught in the neck by one of Devilman’s claws!

Ralph- And Beowulf is beginning be bleed profusely from his neck! This could be some serious trouble for him!

BoB- Beowulf places his hand over the bleeding wound on his neck and he…. Now attacks Devilman!!!!

Ralph- Oh my God! Beowulf is continuing to fight!

BoB- Devilman is caught off guard by the assault from Beowulf, as he grabs Devilman’s neck, picks him up and throws him head first out of the ring and on to the concrete! Devilman gets up, but is unable to walk straight even! This could be trouble here For Devilman!

Ralph- And now Beowulf is exiting the ring on the other side! What is going on here!

BoB- But wait! Look! Beowulf re-enters the ring with a steel chair!

Ralph- Beowulf climbs to the top rope over where Devilman is trying to stand up, and he leaps off of the rope and comes down with the steel chair on to Devilman’s head!

BoB- And Devilman is out cold!!! Beowulf still holding on to the side of his neck only using one hand now drops the chair!

Ralph- But… He is not entering the ring… All Beowulf has to do now is step back into the ring and he will win by count out!

Ref- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

BoB- And it is over! A double count out, I don’t believe it!

Ralph- Why Didn’t Beowulf re-enter the ring? He wasn’t hurt, and Devilman is still not up.

BoB- I think that that’s one question that only Beowulf could answer. But as the crowds cheer, here comes Hystalin.

(Hystalin enters the ring)

Hystalin- Beowulf, I know that there have been a lot of things going around about me, and I know that you are leaving the UCTF now. So I guess this is as good a time as any… Beowulf… Will you marry me?

(Pulls out a ring)

Beowulf- Of course I will Hyst..

(Beowulf hugs Hystalin, and kisses her. And the crowd cheers)

BoB- Well that was beautiful.

Winner- Draw

BoB- All right everyone, it’s time for our main event! Xiahau will be defending his World Title against the number 8 ranked contender, Erlos.

Ralph- and speak of the devil here he comes now!

BoB- Didn’t waist much time I see.

(Erlos enters)

Ralph- This should be a good close fight I think. Both fighters are well experienced and are hungry for that World Title.

BoB- And now here comes Xiahau!

(Xiahau enters)

Ralph- And we are just moments away from the opening bell of tonight’s main event.

(Ding)

BoB- And there’s the bell! Xiahau sans staff takes a defensive position as Erlos lunges at him! Erlos throws Several punches at Xiahau but all of them are parried! Erlos now grabs Xiahau by the shirt and tries to throw him out of the ring but Xiahau grabs on to Erlos as well and both are pulled into the ropes. Xiahau now takes his hands off of Erlos, grabs a rope and snaps it!

Ralph- Xiahau tries to wrap the rope around Erlos but gets tangled up in it himself, and is hurled out of the ring!

Ref- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

BoB- And that’s it! Erlos is the new World Champion!!

(Crowd cheers)

Ralph- Too bad the fight had to be so short. I think that that was just a careless mistake by Xiahau.

BoB- Me too, but never the less, Erlos is our now world Champ. See ya next time!

Winner- Erlos

BoB – what a night we have for you tonight…
Ralph- ye sthat’s right bob… first off we have a thre way between naga, lina and the pervert king,happosai.

BoB- plus a match between vegita and devilman.

ralph- gabriel and ifurta will fight

BoB- which remionds me do you think Ifurita and jin make a cute couple?

ralph- drop it

bOB- sorry.

Ralph- speaking of jin he and shayla wil face fire n ice tonight

BoB- as well as for love and justice fighting team ginyu and all purpose cultural cta girl janet fighting kuno.

Ralph- shoul dmake for an interesting night.. but first.. on with the show…

BoB- yup he’s not possessed anymore either

Ralph- so he must be weake rthan

bOb- perhaps, but he’s a blue mage now

Ralph- ohhnifty

BoB- naga is being escorted on by good-friend najaro

Ralph- i heard a rumor that she had someting for najaro

BoB- you’ve been readin gthe aol fan message boards again haven’t you?

ralph- uhh yeah..

bOb- don’t believe anything you read there.. they’r ejust rumors started by insignificant peope whoi will all die byteh hand of Bob, master of the Futomara School of martial arts

Ralph- you like ot overdo it don’t you?

Bob- habit… and ehre come’s happosai.. throught the crowd

ralph – i hink he’s taking inspiration from wcw great diamonf dallas page, who always enters thorugh the crowd… because he’s the people’s champion

Bob- actually he’s just trying to copa fell with evry girl in the audiance

Ralph- ahhh.. ok, so not at all like DPP

BoB- nope.. sorry. her ecome the bell

DING!

BoB- happosai starts off with a lunge attack at.. naga’s breasts.. he’s got a firm grip on them.. is he going to take her down?

ralph- i doubt that that is his objective here

Naga- hahahahahahaha foolish man.. you think you can defeat me, naga, the greatest and most well endowed sorceress that ever lived.. HAHAHAHAAH feel my fury!!!

BoB- i don’t believe it.. naga is making her breasts bounce up and down squashing happosai between them and flinging him around

happosai- it’s like a dream come true…

Lina- hey lech.. why not take a pice of me?

Happosai- isn’t it bvious? you don’;t have anything there… but naga.. ohhh

Ralph- lina looks pissed

Lina WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!

happosai- i said you had no tits.. ok.. naga’s got great tits i’m staying here

BoB- this bodes not well for the little guy

Ralph- we’re joined in the booth by Shayla Shayla

Shayla- hey guys. i just wanted to give yo this note

BoB- (opens it, pulls out a one hundered doolar bil and hands it to ralph,… he pulsl ut another and keep sit for himself and reads th enote to himself) thank you shayla

Shayla- you’r ewelcome

Lina- it’s time for something basic.. LIGHT!!!!

naga- ahh i’m blinded

Happosai (falls of fnaga) me too.. ohh i can’t see a thing

BoB- (looking at paper) I don’t believe it.. nag ais doing a strip tease

happposai- what!? Naga- huh?

lina- HA!

Ralph- that’s rigth i can’t believe we’re showing his on live tv but naga is taking it all off

Haposai0 i wanna see i wanna see!!

BoB- and what’s more. she’sbeckoning t happosai

naga- am not

Ralph- ohh wow she’s eve more beusiful in the nude like this

Happosai- no i wnna see

Bob- and she ha sleft teh ring.. beckoning happosai to come to her

Happosai (leaves the ring)I’m commng naga.. wait up!!

BoB- and he is counted out…

Haposai- naga where are you?!? (leaves arena)

Lina- now it’s just you and me naga

naga- not fair i still can’t see

Lina- you may not want to.. DYNAST FLARE!!!!

BoB- ohh this is not good for naga

naga- HAHAHAHAHAHA you think you can defeat me with justa simple dynast flare.. here’s one for you… ZELAS BLEED!!

ralph- she just totaly missed lina.. but.. she’s hit dave with it. oh my god!! he’s down.. unbelieveable

Bob- this guy dies too much

Nwd- i’m.. not dead yet

Ralph- tis guy get’s mortally wounded a lot

NWD- actually i think i’m getting better.. mmm ZELAS BLEED!!!

boB- naga is hit by dave’s zelas bleed attack!! because hes a blue warrior he can learn magical attack bu being the victem of it…

Naga- ooohhh that really hurt

lina- not as much as this one will… GAAV FLARE!!!

Naga- ooooooaauughhh

bob- naga is out cold… it looks like the winner of this match is lina inverse!!

lina- thank you thank you (bows)

Winner- Lina inverse

BoB- Devilman is being escorted t the ring by hystalin…

Ralph- what probems she ha sbeen having.. what with carbunkle and the tail thing

Bob- and here come vegita now!!

Ralph- he’s alone…

BoB- son’t worry abut it

Ralph- ohh ok…

Ding

BoB- devilamn starts by sending a low kick to vegita… it connect and vegita goes flying intot the ropes.. he uses them to his advantage however and bounce sback at devilan, knocking him to the ground with a drop kick

ralph- Devilman hops immediatly back to his feet and attempts to balst vegita with one of his antenna blasts.

bobit misses and vegita uses this opportunity to take out devilman by jump kicking him in the face

Ralph- that’s go tto hurt

Bob- yes devilman certainly looks in pain

Devilman- your puny attacks will not defeat me…

vegita- uuh huh yeah ok.. and why the heck not

Devilman- because..

bob- oh no

Devilman- I…

Ralph- here it comes

Devilman- am…

BoB- sigh.. does it not end?

Devilman- DEVILMAN!!!

Vegita- oh that’s nice…

Bob- vegita punches devilman, but he blocks it with his fist and twists vegita’s arm.. vegita si on the ground and in a lot of pain…

Ralp- devilman starts kicking vegita

Devilman- coem on saiyan.. get up!! don’t disgrce your peole by dynig here and so soon

Vegita- you mock me…

Devilman- get up!!! face me(kicks some more)

Vegita- very well. i will destroy you!!

Bob- vegita has taken down devilman with a low body tackle

Ralph- devilamn hit shis hea on a turnbuckle

Devilman- tat hurt you know…. pay bakc time

bob- these guys seat teh small stuff

Ralph- Bob, everything’s the small stuff

Bob- devilman has picke dup the saiyan and puts him in a jackknife powerbomb.

Ralph- he looks out.. and devilman is the winner

Bob- but it doesn’t look like devilman’s done

Devilman- hahaahahaha.. you will die now…

ralph- he get’s ready to balst hi with his anteenna again but

Hystalin- NOOO wait!! don’t kill him!!

Devilman- nani?

hystalin- just… don’t do it… let him be.. his losing is disgrace enough

Devilman- ciao little man…

Bob- well that was interesting.. i wonder why hystalin jumpe din liek that

Ralph- time will tell old friend… time will tell

Winner- De—

bob- wait i hear something.. si it laughter?

man in font row- hahahahaha

ralph- it IS laughter.. and it’s GUYVER.. he’s in teh ring where vehita is

Guyver- HAHAHAHAHAHA think twice before y decide to run with the big boys… go get experianced

bob-isn’t that a hendrix song

ralph- nope

Winner- devilman

Bob- here comes gabriel and ifurita
Ralph- an angela nd a deamon goddess, what wll they think of next?

BoB- and here comes the bell

DING!!

Ralph- gabriel starts of fby attacking with his sword but ifurita blocksd it with her key staff.. and blasts him in the gut

bob- he goes flying into a tunbuckle and take si tout

Ralph- Ifurita flies up above him and aims again… she fires but he moves away before she can do anything. she take sout that part of the ring

Bob- now she’s firing again.. he moves and she takes out THAt part of the ring… it’s now very lop-sided.. as it only has two legs to stand on

Ralph- ifurita lands and charcges at gabriel who dodges and attacks witht he lfat of his sword.. it conencts and ifurita falls… she gets back up a trips hi mwith her key staff, whap s him on the head a few times and trie sone more tiem to bast him.. he blocks with his sowrd

bob- ifurita ha smad ethis a continuos blast. it’ weaker than her usual basts but gabriel has already been it by a regular blastonce.. if this breaks thouh i think he’s done for

Ralph- not many can take two shts from ifurita

Bob- he keeps up his deence with his sword and ifurita stops… he then charges ta her with the sword and she takes the opportunity to balst him then

Ralph- he’s down and out in beverly hills

ifurita- i expecte dyou to know neve rot let your guard dwon… oh well that’s two for me

Winner- Ifurita

Bob- here comes Sailor moon and Tuxedo mask… they look charecteristicly happy
Ralph and here comes jeice and Burter of team ginyu

bob- what’s that starnge music

Ralph -it’s guyver.. he’s flying over head with a cd player and it’s playing..

Oompa loompa doopedee do.. i have anthe rpuzzle for you..

guver- HAHAHAHAHA

Bob- turni it off we’re trying to do commentary here

Guyver- ohh sorry

ralph- anyay Sailor mon and jiece start off

Sailor moon- oh no is tis the guy that has a thin for me

jiece- oh serena.. please be mine

tuxedo mask- no chance jiece!

Sailor moon- bug off creep!

Jiece- but meatballhead…

sailor onn- don’t call me that!!

Jice- hh i can’t fight you..

Sailor moon- and i don’t want to be aroud you.. coe on Tuxedo.. we’re going

TM- but i thought we

SM_ LET”S GO!!

tuxed- yes.. ok

Winner- Team ginyu

Bob- wel if it isnt tri-j’s creation, janet…
ralph- and kuno.. i wonder if his boken ha sbeen fixed since touchstone (god rest his soul) boke it

bob- i tlooks like it… he’s ready to go

Ralph and so is janet

DING!

Bob- kuo starts off withan attack that connect..

janet- hello kuno… that was funny.. do it again

kuno – what!? you dare to mock the rising start of furinken high!?! neko-girl i shall smite thee!!

janet- cool

bob- kuno keeps hitting her but nothing happens… then

Janet- i’m going to finish this now… COFFEE BALST!!

ralph- that was an intersting attack.. janet just sprayed kuno with a blast of hot coffee

kuno- MY EYES!! they burn they stingohh janet you shal pay for this

janet ok… hee-hee

bob- APCCGJ jsut blasted kuno with a laser shot int he back of the head.. he is down.. and apparently out

Winner: APCCGJ

Bob- shayla and jin are being escorted in by New Wave dave and.. ifurita!?
Ralph- i know what you’re thinking, but i don’t see the problem here.. Jin is te only person here besides the possibilty of nwd and shayla who showed her any respect…

Bob- i see.. they do make a cute couple

Ralph, jin, ifurita, NWD and shayla- DROP IT!!

BOB- sorry

Ralph- here comes fire and ice.. they look pumped

Bob- they always look pumped ralhp

ralph- i know it’s just somethign to say

BoB- here comes the bell

Ralph- do de doo do

bob- here coem s the bell

Ralph- i say

Bob- it’s allright

Ralph- do de de do dee de do

DING!

BoB- jin and iceman start off… jin attacks with a powerful punch to the head it conencts.. icemangrabs the arm on it’s eturn hwoever and flips jin ove rontohis back

ralph- he fires an ice blast into his chest

Bob- jin is hurting from that one

Ralph- iceman gets ready to fire another blast into him but jin dodges and take shim down… jin attempts to do a flying stomp onto icemans’ head but he rollso ut of the way.. jin is still standing howevr and tags in shayla shayla

Shayla- get ready to die icey man

Iceman- uhhhuh

bob- iceman fires a cold blast at shayla, she dodges it and fires a sht at iceman.. it conects and he is REALLY hurting.. he tags in fireball

Shayla- ahh alement against element

Fireball- you know it

Bob- thi sshould be good.

ralph- fireball balsts shayla with a wel a firebal…

Shayla- ohh scary… fire is my element.. yo think you will beat me with fire based atatcks? HA

Bob- she kicks him in the head, and he fall sdown

Shayla- your fire attacks are useless against me

Ralph- she punches him in the jaw

Shayla- the fire is my friend, my ally.. don’t ever turn it against me…

Bob- she ha slifeted him up and threw him high

NWD- PULL!!!

Shayla- haha

bob- and she just blasted him with a long blast of fire!!!

shayla- goodnight fireball!!!

Bob- i think he’s out of this one

fireball- yeah.. ya think?

ralph- he’s fallen to the ground onto the concrete stairs.. that’s gotat hurt

Bob- well yes ralph i thknn havig your spine practically snapped by conrete would hurt

Shayla- next!!

Bob- iceman relluctantly gets inot the ring.

shayla- jin, you can have this one.

Bob- jin is in now..

Ifurita- GO JIN!!

Jin- uhh thanks HAHA

bob-ohh jin got nailed by iceman’s winter blast!?

ralph- winter balst?

bb- burnign winter sans burning

ralph- ahh

jin- ooooooaahhhghh

Bob- jin didn’t much like that one

Iceman- haha i’m goingto take you out now jin

jin- in your dreams jackfrost

Iceman- say your prayers

Jin- why? you’re th eone who’s gonan need to pray cause it ‘ll take a miricle for you to beat me

Icemna- mm ok…

Bob- iceman blasted jin again!!! and again!! and again

Jin- that ddn’t feel too goo!!

ralph- jin attacks ice man and manages to get hm to the ground… he starts punching at him wildly!

Bob- i think he’s going berserk

iceman- sto it hey!!

Ralph- iceman sends jin up to the cieling wiht a pillar of ice…

bob- that’s got to hurt…

Ralph- animobile fireball firs a fireball at the pillar melting it and sneding jin falling to the ground.. iceman ctachs hima nd slams him down hard

Jin- ohhhWW

ifurita- Noo.. he;s my friend!!

Bob- mm the deamon goddess is getting soft hearted

Ifurita- no no no he’s just a friend

ralph- me thinks the demongoddess protests too much.

Jin- i’m gonna win this one…

Bob- jinslwly gets up.. send sout a punch at iceman and misse sby a mile

ralph- he’s very dazed ight now.. that was apowerful attack

Iceman- hahahha you wer en match for me.. you puny little man

jin0 what did you just all me?

iceman- puny.. little…man

Jin- allright hat does it!!

rakph- and he goe sberserk again

Bob- mm wise, no.. but strong

Iceman- hey

bob- icemanis hit a couple of times but in jin’s weakend condition it doesn’t seem to matter that much

iceman- even in your strong berzerer mode you can’t get ne

Bob- iceman picks up the kickinh jin and throws him over and fires a ver veyr powerful ice balst at him,P> ralph- but shayla fired a fireblast at teh ocebalst and countered it before it hit jin

bob- now that’s teamwork

ralph- jin has landed next to fireball… same manner.. they both look t b in great pain.. and niethe rseems to be able to move much.

jin- hello.. fancy meeting ou here

firebal- liekwise

Shyala- it’s just you and me now iceman

Iceman- yeah it appears so.. ICE SHOWER!!

bob- i didnt know about is attack… a blast of ice is shot above shayla’s head and starts breaking off into enrgy pieces and falling down on her

ralph- Shayla puts up a fire shied and blocks them all

Shayla- can’t you do better than that? FLAME PILLAR!!

Iceman- ouh-oh

bob- iceman dodged the pillar but in his attempts is cought by shayla.. who throws hi mup in teh air

NWD- pull!!

ICeman- not on me you don’t

bob- icmean creates am ice shield and blocks shayla’s blast, he comes down and lands perfectly

ralph (holds up a sign that says 9.5) Bob- (9) Iceman- try me agin.. you won’t defeat me

BOb- iceman ahd fired an iceblast at shayla but it missed and hit.. dave

NWD- ooaahhhww

Shayla- hey!! you hit my davey.. yu will pay for that!!!!!!

ralph- hell hath no fury

Bob- liek shayla scorned…

Ralph- iceman is being hit by a series of small firballs, all of which he tries to dodge and all of which connect

Bob- they stopped but only long enugh for shayla to gaterh up enough ki to do

Shayla- maga fireball!!

ralph- fire a megafireball at him

Bob- it missed but the force fo the attack was enoughto send iceman down

Ralph- shayla is now standing over himLP> Shayla- and this is for hitting dave!

Ralph- shayla slapps iceman!! and how!

iceman- that smarts

Shayla- haha

Bob- shayla kiked iceman in the gut and throws himotu of the ring.. he land son the bell

DING!

Shayla- AND HE’S OUTA THERE

Ralph- it looks liek shayla and jin won that oen

Bo cool.. we”ll the ndeated fire n ice are nolonger that.. we’r eoutta here.. goodnight

winner: Shayla Shayla and JIn

Jin Saotome v. Ryoga Hibiki

BoB- welcome to the first UCTF PPV I’m your host Bobby bob th ebobster and with me is th e big R man himself ralphy ralphola!!!
Ralph- what the bloody hell are you talking about?

BoB- I don’t know.. let’s start off otnight’s first match Jin Saotome v. Ryoga Hibiki.. WHAT THE!?

Ralph- it seems ryoga is HERE, that’s new

BoB- must be washu’s devise…

Ralph- must be.. here comes jin.. wait ryoga’s gonna say something

Ryoga- Saotome.. that name brings pain to my face…and my heart.. my dear akane hwo could i let you be with.. SAOTOME!!!. JIN YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR COUSIN’S DEEDS!!!

BoB- but they’re not related

Ralph- doesn’t metter.. he has started with an attack.. full force at JIn who merely dodges and yawns.

Ryoga- you won’t get away that easy, Saotome.. TAKE THIS AS A WARNING RANMA WHAT I DO TOU YOUR COUSIN TONIGHT I WILL SOO DO TO YOU!!!

Ralph- but they’re not related.

BoB- he charges at jin again.. boot to the head!!!

Ralph- Jin gets back up and looks at the confused wanderer.

Ryoga- what the heck are you looking at.. I REFUS ETO BE STARED AT BY ONE OF HIS COUSIN”S

JIn- but we’re not related.

BoB- and with that JIn kicks ryoga sqare in the gut followed by a series of punches and knee lifts…

Ryoga- he now has him by the neck and has picked him up

BoB- this looks like Giant’s finisher the choke slam.. is it gonna be over so soon.

Ralph- OH MY HOLY WOW!!! He just executed th esaotome crush as Ryoga went flying into the nose bleed section.

Ryoga- I will not be beat by a relative of ranma saotome.. JIN… cough cough… face me coward!!!

Everyone there- BUT THEY’RE NOT RELATED!!

Ryoga- oh.. ok (he blacks out)

BoB- go jin

Winner: Jin “not related to ranma” Saotome

Sayian-C v. Vampire HUnter D

Bob: Ahh… we have our next fight. Newcomer Corin (AKA Sayian-C) v. Vampire hunter D
Ralph: What do you think about this fight Bob?

Bob: Although Vampire Hunter D is comparitively weak to the newcomer, he has the edge in experience in this fight. As far as I am concerned, it’s anyone’s game.

Bob: Look! Here comes Saiyin_C! It looks like he’s getting a little support from the audience. I think it’s the tail.

Ralph: Isn’t he the first Saiyin to ever come to the UCTF?

Bob: No, there was another before him, a half-saiyin.

Ralph: Who? Gohan? Goten? Trunks?

Bob: No silly! It was Hystalin the Black Paladin.

Ralph: Her? Oh yeah! HEHEHE!!! I forget.

Bob: Okay, here comes Vampire Hunter D. He is not getting too much a warm welcome. I guess it is because of his previous losses.

Ralph: Perhaps. The two shake hands…

D’s Hand: How many times to I have to tell you not to shake with me?

D: Oops! Sorry.

Saiyin_C: You’re hand talks?

D: Yep. (holds up living hand.) He’s a part of me. We are one.

Saiyin_C: I see. Now… let the games begin.

D: Yes…

(DING!)

Bob: The fight begins! D breaks out his huge sword and swings at Saiyin_C. Saiyin_C isn’t moving.

Ralph: What? What is this?

Bob: It looks like Saiyin_C caught the sword in mid-strike! Wow! That is amazing!

Ralph: I’ve never seen anyone do this before.

Bob: Neither have I.

D: Whoa! You’re faster than I expected.

Saiyin_C: That is what you expect from a pure-blooded saiyin.

D: Perhaps, but I won’t go down without a fight!

Saiyin_C: I expected such, now you will be knocked out.

Ralph: What is Saiyin_C doing now?

Bob: It looks like he’s gathering energy… oh my! He just turned into a Super-Saiyin!

Ralph: I see! His hair went from dark brown to bright yellow! He looks really pissed off right now!

Bob: You can say that again!

Ralph: His hair went from dark…

Bob: Oh shut up!

Saiyin_C: This is where our fight ends!

Ralph: Saiyin_C rushes to Vampire Hunter D and… oh god! He’s beating the shit out of the vampeil!

Bob: Definately! This does not bode well for Vampire Hunter D. He’s really getting pummeled by Saiyin_C’s might!

Saiyin_C: GAME OVER!

Ralph: Saiyin_C gives Vampire Hunter D a sharp punch to the jaw and it sends Vampire Hunter D into orbit! He’s flying out of the ring and landed in the very back row. It’s over! Saiyin_C is the winner!

Bob: Good show for the saiyin! He did good! Now onto the next match.

Ralph: Good idea… on with the next fight.

Winner: Saiyin_C

Miz MIshtal v. Fujisawa

Bob: Okay, here is one of tonight’s fights, Miz Vs. Fujisawa. We have the water priestess going against our resident drunk.
Ralph: Do you think Fujisawa will be sober tonight?

Bob: With him, it’s a coin toss.

Ralph: True.

Bob: Look! Here comes Miz now, the water priestess has arrived.

Ralph: Do you see Fujisawa anywhere?

Bob: Let me see… yep! I see Fujisawa coming in the ring… with a bottle of sake in his hand.

Ralph: Why am I not surprised?

Fujisawa: Awwwoy. Nooowi gottufite the one called Miz. Owwell… lettas fite.

Miz: MY DARLING MOSUMICHI, you’re drunk again. How repulsive!

Ralph: Miz enters the ring. Fujisawa stumbles into the ring.

(DING!)

Bob: Fujisawa takes one step and… he slips and falls. Miz walks to the drunken Fujisawa.

Miz: You look flushed. (kisses cheek) Here, let me cool you off.

Ralph: Miz throws what looks like a tidal wave at Fujisawa. The wave pushes Fujisawa out of the ring.

Bob: I think he passed out.

Ralph: I think you’re right. It looks like Miz is the winner.

Miz- No future husband of mine is gonna drink and fight

Bob: Well… that’s one fight ended.

Ralph: It looks like it too. Now lets’ get on to our next fight…

Winner: Miz

Touchstone v. Tatewaki Kuno

BoB- now we have Touchstopne v. Kuno
Ralph- sigh.. how elizibethian

BoB- here comes touchstone with jaques (pronounced Jay-queeze)

And here comes Kuno.. with boken

Touchsonte- Kuno.. your visage make me like th edogs where as i shall smite thee into true and total submission

kuno- ahh thou are like the dogs you cur, your insolence shall be– HWAT DID YOU DO!!!

BoB- it looks like touchstone attacked kuno’s boken with his sword.. and cut it into several pieces

Kuno- CURSE YOU NOW MY BOKEN IS BROKEN!!

Ralph- it was only a matter of time.

Touchstone- go

kuno.. no i shall stay and avenge my dear boken

BoB- he launches a full force attack at touchstone who trips him. Jaques ties him up.

Ralpf- i think touchstone won that one

Winner- touchstone

Seratia v. Nanami Jinnai

Nanami- GET YOUR NANAMI SPECIAL BOXED LUNCHES RIGHT HERE!!!
BoB- i’ll take won..

ralph- hey aren’t you supposed to be down there?

Nanami- oh yeah.. i forgot. i’m not really ready to fight

BoB- just go..

nanami- ok(she goes) BoB- seratia enters the ring followed by Nanami.. seratia looks prepared.. nanami.. well looks like a vendor

Ralph- THAT IS ONE BIG SWORD

Nanami- that is one big sword lay.. you plannin on using it on me?

Seratia- uhh huh

Nanami- oh.. hehe ok.. uhh i’m not much of a fighter so.. uhh hw about.. HERE!!

Seratia- what’s this?

nanami- instead of fighting me with that huge sword i’ll offer you to be a part owner of nanami boxed lunches INC. 10 percent.. is it a deal?

Seratia- think it over k?

BoB- nanami leaves and is counted out while a somewhat confused seratia stands in the middle of the ring with an inhumanly large sword in one hand and a buisness contract in the other

Winner: Seratia

Ifurita v. Kasuhiku Jinnai

BoB- now we have the prez’s own ifurita v her old master kasuhiku
Ralph- actually h eprez’s idfurita is from the tv series while this one is from th OAV

BoB- picky

Ralph- they’re two entirly different people.. nevermiund.. here comes the two now

jinnai- Ifuirta! I command you to no fight me

Ifurita- I am no longer controled by you you puny little man.

jinnai- WHAT! I woke you up!! Ahhh ok fine.. fight me.. but first (whistles, several bugrom come in) fight them.. Groucho.. tenchi th eothers.. ATTACK!!!

Ifurita- sigh (she vlasts them all with one shot)

Jinnai- oh you think you have me beaten do you HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahhahhaHAhHAhHAhHAha

????- HAHAHhahHAhAhHahHA

BoB- is hat naga?

Ralph- no it’s… KODACHI

KOdachi-hello love miss me?

Jinnai- huh? oh hello kodachi.. can you take caare of this deamon god for me?

Kodachi of course.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

BoB- kodachi attacks ifurita but is knicked out by the power of the key staff

Jinnai- tthis bodes not well

BoB- we lost or visual!!! oh well i can hear what happened jinnai ain’t laughin no more

ralph- good

Winner: Ifurita

Naga v. Ryu

Bob: And now comes our next fight! This was brewing ever since the rumble matches. It’s Ryu Vs. Hysta..

Ralph: Not so fast, it has been changed. Naga is fighting Ryu, not Hystalin.

Bob: Naga is fighting Ryu? This is quite odd.

Ralph: Here comes Ryu now. Boy, he looks pretty hyped up for this fight. I think he’s expecting Hystalin to fight.

Bob: Boy, will he be surprised.

Ralph: Yes. Here comes Naga now, escorted by Hystalin.

Bob: Naga is really laughing right now. I think my ears are starting to bleed.

Ralph: Nah, you’re safe.

(DING!)

The bell rings! Ryu runs to Naga. Huh? Ryu stops!

Ryu: Naga? Why are you here? I was expecting Hystalin!

Naga: There was a change in the roster. Must’ve been a bug in the system. I’ll be fighting you instead of Hystalin tonight. So, be prepared for Naga the Serpent! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob: Ryu has struck with a sharp punch, but Naga dodges just in time. Naga seems to have something of her sleeves.

Ralph: What sleeves? She looks like she’s naked.

Bob: It’s the illusion from her armor, or lack thereof.

Naga: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! You cannot hurt me! I am Naga the Serpent!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Bob: Uh-oh, she’s using the same tactic she used on Happosai. She’s trying to bludgeon Ryu’s ears with her laugh! Where’s my earplugs?!

Naga: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ralph: That’s odd. Ryu seems to be unphased from Naga’s laugh. He throws his trademark “Hadoken” at Naga. It hits Naga, stopping her from laughing, and the UCTF breathes a collective sigh of relief.

Bob: Naga throws a fireball spell on Ryu, but the attack is nullified by another of Ryu’s “Hadoken” attack.

meow.

Ralph: What was that?

Bob: I don’t know, but it sounds familiar.

MEOW!

Ralph: Look! Look in the ring!

Bob: Oh no! Is that who I think it is?

Ralph: Oh shit!

Bob & Ralph: IT’S FELIX!!!!!

Bob: Someone put that cat out of our misery!

Ralph: Look down there… there’s some activity down there!

Bob: It’s Hystalin! She’s become a Super-Saiyin!

Hystalin: FELIX! YOU SHALL DIE NOW!!!!!

Bob: It looks like Hystalin is rushing to the evil cat! Whoa! That was fast!

Ralph: The cat gets on Hystalin’s back. This is deadly for the Black Paladin.

Bob: It makes a stratch on what looks like Hystalin’s behind. Hey! What’s that?

Ralph: It looks like some kind of plug! Felix must’ve damaged it.

Bob: No shit sherlock!

Ralph: Whatever.

Bob: That must’ve been the magic plug that was put on Hystalin when she was born, in order for her tail to stay detached.

Ralph: Look! It’s starting to crack!

Bob: Hystalin grabs Felix by the back of the neck, and it looks like she’s going to crush the cat’s skull.

Ralph: It would serve the cat right for all the chaos it did, espially when the cat killed Hystalin’s esper friend Carbunkle.

Bob: What is she doing now?

Ralph: It looks like she’s chanting a magic spell.

Hystalin: Hear me Carbunkle, bearer of the Ruby Light, answer my summons and come forth… NOW!!!!!!!

Bob: Look! It’s Carbunkle!P> Ralph: Awww… how cute!

Bob: Don’t say that! Azuka might hear you.. oh shit! Too late!

Azuka: Wow! It’s so cute!

Hystalin: Azuka, stay out of this! This is not the time for this!

Azuka: My Danielle is here. Wow, that is even cuter! Give me Ester!

Ralph: Azuka seems to be throwing everything that is not pinned down. She throws a chair, the bell, the Magic Sword of Fire?!?!

Bob: Lucky for her, the Magic Sword of Fire is legal in the UCTF.

Ralph: The bell ring hits Hystalin in the head. Oh no! She let go of the cat!

Azuka: It’s not so cute anymore! C-ya!

Bob: Azuka runs away! Good thing too.

Ralph: Yeah.

Bob: Felix gets on top of Hystalin and does some damage on the Black Paladin once again. She looks like shit now!

Ralph: The cat gets on top of Hystalin’s back once again. I think Felix is trying to scratch the magic plug on Hystalin again!

Bob: Oh now! It cannot be! The magic plug on Hystalin is broken! Hystalin has a monkey’s tail!!!

Ralph: This is really bad!

Hystalin: Felix, now there are two reasons why I shall and will kill you… for killing Carbunkle and for destroying every bit of normalcy in my life! PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!!!

Bob: Hystalin rushes to Felix and has the cat in a headlock again! This time, Hystalin look more pissed off than with her plug on!

Hystalin: Carbunkle, are you there?

Carbunkle: Yes, I’m still alive and kicking. What is it Hyst?

Hystalin: I summoned you here to make sure that you see your death will be and has been avenged!

MEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!

Hystalin: DIE FELIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(CRACK!!!!!)

Ralph: Oh my god! Felix’s skull has been cracked wide open like an egg! Felix is dead!

(suddenly several brightly dressed midget pop out of nowhere and sing a little song)

Ding Dong! Thecat is dead.
Which old cat?
The Wicked cat!
Ding Dong! The Wicked cat is dead.
Wake up – sleepy head,
Rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked vcat is dead.
She’s gone where the goblins go,
Below – below – below. Yo-ho,
Let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out.

Ding Dong’ the merry-oh,
Sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know The Wicked cat is
dead!
Ralph- here comes a bubble!! IT’S GLENDA THE GOOD WITCH

Glenda- ohhhohohoho hello little girl.. tell me are you a good with or a bad witch. Hystalin- oh i’m not a witch at all.

(the muchkins all laugh, so does naga)

Glenda- NOOOO make it stop

Naga- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Hystalin- naga.. cut it out.

Ralph- oh my god alook out evryone it’s a house!!

BoB- oh no thi sis horrible a house just fell i=on the munchkins and glenda killing them all.. and out of th ehouse steps

???- DA DA D DA DE DI TA DA!! HI I’M RIP TAYLOR.. ohh naga nice gazongiatas.. toot at atee te ta’s .. get it? NICE JUGS

Naga- shut up you fooll. HAHAHAHAHA Bob: Naga scasts fireball at rip Taylor, killing him instantly and the UCTF breathes a collective sigh of relief. But at what cost? The magic plug that was placed on Hystalin is broken and she now has a tail. Poor girl.

Ralph: I hope she feels okay. What an incredible trauma.

Hystalin: Carbunkle, I’ve finally avenged you. Ryu, Naga, continue your fight. I’m sorry I had to interfere. Ryu, next time we meet, we will fight together.

Bob: Hystalin runs off. I think it’s best for her to be left alone for awhile now.

Ralph: And now… the fight with Ryu & Naga continues.

Ryu: Naga, do you feel like fighting now?

Naga: I don’t think so. Care to deal this a draw?

Ryu: I guess it’s for the best.

Ralph: What’s going on? It looks like Ryu & Naga are going toward the mike.

Naga: Attention everyone! I wish to speak. Due to the current events that unfolded here, Ryu and I have decided to end this fight at a draw.

Ryu: I’ve discussed this with Naga and she agrees. Please be understanding. We apologize whole-heartedly for the inconvenience.

Bob: Ryu & Naga has decided to end this match in a draw.

Ralph: It’s understandable. What everything that happened, I’m not surprised this ended as a voluntary tie.

Bob: Well… do we have any more matches to finish?

Ralph: Just one…

Winner: Draw

Spawn v. Guyver

BoB- And now everyone, here is an interesting matchup, it is Guyver, vs. Spawn. These two have faced off before in a tag matchup, with Spawn coming out on top. But I am interseted in seeing how this one on one fight turns out.
Ralph- That’s right, but here comes Guyver now down the isle and into the ring.

(Crowd cheers)

BoB- The fans seem to like Guyver, but here comes Spawn now!

(Spawn enters)

BoB- And we are moments away from from the starting bell, as the two fighters prepare to face off.

(Ding)

Ralph- And we are are underway, as Guyver lunges at Spawn with a punch, but Spawn easily dodges and trips Guyver with a chain!

BoB- And Guver Goes down, but springs right back up again, only to be cought in the whirling chains of Spawn!

Spawn- This is where I destroy you…

Guyver- Not a chance!

Ralph- Gutve extends his vibroblades and slices through several chains of Spawn, and is able to break free! Guyver shashes at the mid-section of Spawn, and grazes him, which sends Spawn back!

BoB- Guyver leaps at spawn but is kicked back! and shot with a chain! The chain goes through Guyver’s chest plate! And this could be trouble! Guyver pulls out the chain and shoots Spawn with a beam from his head! And Spawn is sent out of the ring!

Ralph- And that is it! Spawn is counted out! What a way to go.

BoB- Yeah, well we had better move on to the next fight, which is Team Rockt vs. Electric Cold.

Winner- Guyver

Electric Cold v. Team rocket

BoB here comes electric cold now.
Ralph- wasn’t that a debie gbson song?

BoB- SILENCE MORTAL DO YOU DARE TO UNMASK THE FURY OF BOB THE MIGHTY>> DEMON LORD OF NEW ZELAND!!

Ralph- stop it bob.. you’re not fooling anyone

BOB ONLY FOOLS SPEAK OF THING STHEY KNOW NOT

Ralph- cut it BoB-

bOB- sorry

and here comes team rocket

James get ready for trouble

jessie- better make it double

Jessie: To protect the world from devistation..

James: To unite all peoples within our nation..

Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love!

James: To extend our reach to the stars above!

Jessie: Jessie!

James: James!

Jessie: Team Rocket! Blast off at the speed of light!

James: Surrender now or prepare to fight!

Meowth: Meowth! That’s right!

Mercury- sigh.. MERCURY BUBBLES!! BLAST!!!

Jupiter- JPITER THUDER CRASH!!!

BoB- that was quick.

Winner- electric cold

Gunsmith cats v. Burning Passion

Bob- rally and minnie mai make there way into the ring followed by sailor mars and venus
ralph- hey rei!!! (blows kiss) BoB- what about u-chan?

ralph- HWERE!?! WHERE IS SHE UCHAN? WHERE ARE YOU?

BoB- nevermind

Ralph- rally and mars start off.. mars kicks rally in the shin and pushes her over.. she then.. well

Mars- MARS FIRE IGNITE!!

BoB- rally dodges it though and tag in minnie mai who throws several bobsat mars. Mrs tags in venus who jump kicks minnie mai in the face.. she’s down and out

Winner: Burning Passion

MAIN EVENT
Mourl V. Ukyo

BoB- And now for the main event! It is Mourl the beakless turkey, president of the Beakless brand corn Co. vs. Ukyo Kuonji, for the Dustmaster Title fight!!!
Ralph- YEAH!! GO UKYO!!!

BoB- Be quiet Ralph. And now it is just a question of what trick will Mourl try to pull this time. It has been Mourl’s goal to obtain the Dustmaster Title, and I hav a feeling that he is going to pull out all the stops on this one.

Ralph- And here comes Ukyo down the isle to the ring! YEAHHHHH!!!!

BoB- Ukyo enters the ring and, and here comes Mourl, he is looking rather normal for this fight. I thought that he would enter late or something to fool his opponent.

(Mourl enters the ring)

BoB- And only a few more seconds untill the bell rings and we find out what crazy trick Mourl is going to try and pull!

(Ding)

Ralph- And there’s the bell! Ukyo stands in a defensive stance preparing for anything that Mourl might try.

BoB- Ukyo after a moment of standing there finally lashes at Mourl. And Mourl splits in two!! He has devided into two Mourls!

Ukyo- What the heck?

BoB- Both Mourls start to attack Ukyo at the same time! Ukyo slashes at both of them but it only devides into more Mourls!

Ralph- He pulled the Dividong Mourl trick! I knew he would do that!

BoB- Four Mourls are now attacking Ukyo. What is going onw here?

Ukyo- Do you think that I didn’t plan for this? FLour bomb!!!!

Ralph- And Ukyo has taken a high velocity flour bomb and blown up the ring!!! And it is over!!!! Ukyo is our now Dustmaster! She comes down in the area where the ring used to be. All four Mourls are obliterated! YEAH!!!

BoB- What is that???

(Mourl comes down from in the rafters and lands on one of the small pieces left from the ring)

BoB- No Look!!! MOurl pulled the dividing Mourl decoy trick! And Ukyo is counted out! Mourl is our First ever Dustmaster!

Ralph- What the?

BoB- Oh shut up Ralhp. Way to go Mourl!

(The crowd is going crazy)

BoB- What an interesting fight that was. Well everyone good night, And I hope you enjoyed the fights.

Winner- Mourl

BoB- Welcome everyone to the UCTF Grand Arena, I’m Bobby Hinden…
Ralph- And I’m Ralph Gerrard.

BoB- And we are bringing you Live coverage of tonight’s fights.

Ralph- That’s right. And fires on the fight card is AX, vs. Crimson Wolf. Two tag teams coming off a loss from Fire N’ Ice.

BoB- Yes, and both of equal status. AX being the more notable tag team, and Crimson wolf, being two more notable single fighters, Beowulf, and Spawn.

Ralph- Here comes AX now! Adrenaline Express comes to the side of the ring, and Midnight Rider enters.

BoB- But look, here comes Crimson wolf now!

(Beowulf enters the ring, and prepares to fight Midnight Rider.)

Ralph- And we are waiting for the bell here in our opening fight.

(Ding)

BoB- Beowulf, and Midnight Rider both lunge at each other, and Midnight Rider is knocked over by the shoulder of Beowulf! Beowulf kicks Midnight rider to the side of the ring! Sailor Bowser takes a wooden chair and throws it at Beowulf!

Ralph- The chair hits Beowulf, and shatters, but does not seem to have very much affect!

BoB- Bits of wood are all over the ring, and Midnight Rider regains his footing. And…

Charleston- Teh hell iz dat? Lenny, kl’n at up der.

(The Goat stares at him)

Charleston- Lenny, kl’n at up der.

(The goat stares at him)

Charleston- Drn’t Lenny.

(Charleston goes to clean up the wood, and accidentally trips Beowulf, who then falls out of the ring. Spawn does not enter because he was not paying attention) BoB- And Charleston has knocked Beowulf into a pile of his cleaning supplies! Beowulf is unable to re enter the ring!

Reff- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

BoB- It’s all over! Crimson Wolf, who looked originally like they had control of the fight, has lost!

Ralph- And for the third time Charleston has accidentally interfered with Beowulf!

Winner- AX

BoB- now we have a rematch for you guys Ryu v. cat girl nuk– i mean shampoo.
Ralph- Were it cat girl nuku nuku I’d be jumping up and down almost but not wuite as much as for my bel;oved U-chan.

(from off in the distance)

Voice: STOP CALLING ME THAT!

BoB- anyway here comes Ryu now.. he looks ready and focused. Andhere comes Shampoo in girl form..

ralph- a wise move

BoB- she’s got her two huge round thingies

Ralph- i dunno whatthey’re called,P> bOb- but they sure are big..

Ralph- ye sShampoo has the biggest round thingies here.. and here’s thebell

ding

BoB- Ryu gets th efirst hit in with a couple of low jabs, Shampoo jumps away and returns witha well placed head kick, Ryu is down and back up again. He attacks with his hakoden kick and it connects quite well

Ralph- Shampoo grabs a leg and puls him down though.. she’s got soemthing.. it’s A MARKER!!! whatis she going to do!?! Her hands are moving quickly

BoB- this is due to the rchestnuts roasting on an open fire attack

Ralph- it aint nothing compared to my rudolph the red nosed reindeer attack or my patented have a holly jolly christmans kick

BoB- i’m sure it’s not.. she;s finished.. what did sh HAHAHAHA

Ralph- she wrote “hello my name ryu and i stupid” several times all ove rhim.. HAHAHAHA

BoB- he doesn’t look happy.. he looks REALLY PISSED Actually…

Ryu- SHIN SHIN SHIN SHIN SHORYUKEN

BoB- he just eexecuted the new new new new shoryuken.. it’s hit her and she’s down.. she gets ba.. no she’s out now

Ralph- what a fight

BoB- whatever

Winner: RyU

BoB- Folks, we have a great fight for you here. It is the long awaited three way fight between Devilman the reigning Interplanetary Champion, Duncan MacLeod, and Dark Schneider.
Ralph- An interesting array of fighters there. You have Duncan, who is the martial artist fighter, Devilman the slash em up, and rip them apart fighter, and Dark Schneider, the Wizard.

BoB- That’s right Ralph, and here comes the three fighters now, entering from opposite ends of the arena. Princes of the universe plays over the loud speakers and duncan, upon hearing looks.. content.

Ralph- Just a reminder as to how this will work. Two fighters will fight in the ring, and when one goes out the other must come in or be disqualified. This fight can only be won by knockouts, there will be no countouts here.

BoB- And the first two fighters in the ring will be Devilman, and Duncan.

(Ding)

BoB- And there’s the bell! Duncan anvancing towards Devilman who is trying to keep his distance from the sword of the highlander. Duncan swings twice at the head of Devilman, but both swings are dodged! And Devilman trips Duncan! Duncan drops his sword and Devilman leaps on top of him!

Ralph- Devilman now is slashing at the face of Duncan with his claws, and Duncan looks like he is in some trouble!

BoB- But Duncan reaches back and grabs his sword and slashes at the body of Devilman cutting him! And Devilman is knocked off of Duncan who exits the ring! And now here comes Dark Schneider! Dark Schneider drawing his sword now and advancint towards Devilman!

Ralph- Devilman leaps out of the ring, and spin-kicks Duncan! Duncan falls to the ground and Devilman takes his sword! Wow! Duncan sure wasn’t expecting that! Dark Schneider looks like he is planning to cast a spell at Devilman, who is armed with the Katana…

BoB- But Devilman has just shot Dark Schneider with a beam from his antenna! Dark Schneider charges towards Devilman and slices all four ropes of the ring! But Devilman swings at the legs of Dark Scneider! Dark Schneider Jumps the swing but is hit by another laser fronm Devilman’s antenna! Devilman extends his antenna and ties up the disorientated Dark Schneider, and slashes his legs!

Ralph- Ooooh! and Dark Schneider is down! Devilman leaps back into the ring to finish Dark Schneider, but here comes Duncan!

BoB- Duncan dives at Devilman, and tackles him to the ground! Both fighters wrestle around and finally arise, but are in a dead lock! Devilman now throws Duncan to the ropes, but Duncan comes right backl!

Ralph- Devilman opens up with with a hook to the head of Duncan! And another, Devilman is starting to beat duncan with 40’s style boxing!

BoB- And Duncan is sent to the ropes being totally pommled by a very agressave Devilman! Devilman hits Duncan with a massive uppercut and sends him out of the ring and onto the cement! No movement is seen from Duncan, and very little from Dark Schneider. But Devilman rushes over to Dark Schneider and punches him twice in the head! It’s over everyone! Devilman is our winner of this three way fight! And listen to that crowd!

Ralph- I think he is fan favorite because of how exciteing he makes his fights. I mean, they are brutal, and that’s what the people want to see,

Winner- Devilman

BoB- moving right along we have lina inverse v. Najaro
Ralph- And her they come now.. WHAT THE!? najaro bought one of those Lina dolls

BoB- thos eare expensive they went for around $150 at anime cnetral last year

Ralph- not to tmention that gose are hard to come by… well anyway they’re in the ring.. dolly and all

BoB- And here coems that bell

(pause) BoB- uhhh..

Ralph- teh bell guy is sleeping

BoB- ohh.. umm .. ok.. uhh.. DING!

Ralph- Lina prepares to cast a flare arrow spell but suddenly finds herself walking over to a turnbuckle and pounding her head onto it.. NAjaro seems to eb pounsing lina doll’s head onto a turn buckle as well

BoB- this doesn’t look good for our soreceress

Ralph- but it looks great for our wind wizard

BoB- lina tries to gain control but can’t.. she walks over to najaro and shakes his hand and starts to fly…

Ralph- uhhh.. this is wierd

BoB- someone’s entering the ring it’s NWD.. he tookt he doll. and started hitting Najaro with it.. lina flies into najaro and knocks him down.. Najaro gets up and tries to take the doll away form dave but it flies into the crowd.. who got it

Voice- WHAT’s this.. ohh myy!!! hehehe

Ralph- that voice it’s so familiar.. i.. oh no

BoB- uhh children whoa re watchingthis.. please go into the next room for a moment.. it’S AHHHH!!

Ralph- it’s notliek ther’s much to see there

BoB- but lina’s naked!!

)a small figure jumps ontot the rigna dn steals the clothing.. especially any undergarments

Voice- what a haul what a HAUL!!!

Ralph- It looks like Najaro and NWD are bleeding pretty badly from nasal area as Lina looks around for something to cover herself with.. instead she runs off tot he sides where shayla shayla tosses her a robe.. she runs back tot he ring and..

Bob- it’s too late shes been counted out by the ref.

Ralph- my questio is why was he paying attention to the fight?

Winner: Najaro

BoB- Allright everyone, it’s time for our second tag team match of the night, it is Fire N’ Ice vs. the Black Bitches.
Ralph- This is FAI’s fourth match I believe in the UCTF, and as it stands they are going for win number four.

BoB- That’s right, Fire N’ Ice are currently undefeated. And here they come now!

(Fireball, and Ice man, walk down the isle towards the ring, Fireball enters, as the crowd cheers wildly)

BoB- Listen to that crowd, here in the Grand arena in the UCTF complex!

Ralph- And here comes the Black Bitches! This will be their debut tag match here in the UCTF.

BoB- Kind of an awful big step there, fighting Fire N’ Ice for their first match.

Ralph- Yeah, but Naga, and Hystalin are both very powerful wizards, and I bet they can handle their own here against Fireball, and Ice man.

(Naga enters the ring with Fireball. Soon after she enters, the opening bell rings)

BoB- And there’s the bell! Fireball leaps at Naga with a flying kick, but its is easily evaded. Naga throws a punch at Fireball but her fist is caught! Fireball puts Naga into an arm bar for a few seconds, and then throws her into the turnbuckle! Fireball creates a glowing ball of fire in each hand and hurls them at Naga! The heat seeking fireballs smash into the turn buckle only grazing Naga!

Ralph- And Naga Tags in Hystalin. Hystalin enters the ring, and becomes a Super Saiyin!

Hystalin- Now to destroy you!

Fireball- Go for it…

BoB- Hystalin shoots a blast of energy at Fireball, but Fireball flips out of the way!

Fireball- Fire ball!!!!!

Ralph- And Fireball creates a large ball of fire in his hands and launches it at Hystalin! Hystalin blocks it with a force of energy of her own, but is still sent back to the ropes!

BoB- Fireball charges at Hystalin and hits her dead on in the face with a punch! And Hystalin tries to defend herself from an oncoming Barrage of punches, but only has minimum success!

Hystalin- Bahamut! I summon thee!!!!

BoB- Hystalin has summoned Bahamut! The most powerful esper of all!

Ralph- And Bahamut swings at Fireball knocking him clear over to the other side of the ring! Fireball tags in Ice man,

Ice man- Now to get a few things straight. Fire N’ Ice final attack!

Fireball- Burning!!!!!

Ice man- Winter!!!!

(Fireball and Ice man leap into the air, as Ice man forms a large spiked ball of Ice in his hands Fireball builds up his energy, both release at the same time, employing the Burning Winter.)

BoB- Fire N’ Ice cast the Burning Winter at Bahamut! It connects, forcing Bahamut to vanish back to esperville, or wherever they go in order to save his own life!

Ralph- Fireball, leaves the ring, and Ice man now charges at Hystalin!

Hystalin- Ifrit! come fourth!

(Ifrit appears, and casts a cloud of fire on Ice man)

BoB- What’s this?! Ifrit has engulfed Ice man in flames! This could be trouble for Fir N’ Ice!

(Fireball leaps back into the ring and creates a barrier of flames with his power blocking Ice man. Ice man passes out from the heat)

BoB- And Ice man is out! But Fireball, is still going strong! Fireball rolls under the esper and now hits Hystalin with a large blast of flames! And Hystalin is out cold! Ifrit grabs a hold of Fireball and is now punching him! What is this?

Ralph- Fireball is getting cut up by the claws, or hands, or whatever those are on Ifrit! Ifrit pulls fireball to the ground! But Ice man is coming too now!

BoB- Ice man realizes what is happening now, as he shoots a wave of Ice at Ifrit! Ifrit is sent out of the ring! But here comes Naga!

Ralph- Wait! Look! The reff has stepped in front of her! And it’s over! While Fireball was wrestling around with Ifrit, the Black Bitches were counted out!

BoB- You’re right! What a way to go. Fire N’ Ice now leave the ring, happy with their victory. I suppose we should move on to our next fight now.

Ralph- That’s right.

BoB- A very good effort there by Hystalin, but not quite enough.

Winner- Fire N’ Ice

BoB- and now fo rthe main event.. here comes NWD and a clothed lina formone side and xiahau and
Ralph- U-CHAN!!!

BoB- sigh.. yes and U-chan… here’s the bell

ding

Ralph- Xiahau and NWD start off… I don’t see Xiahau’s staff anywhere but i DO see dragonsfang…

BoB- that seems unfair

Ralph- not really.. if xiahau is not a deamon it can’t harmhim.. yet if he is a deamon dave will eb doin us all a favour

BoB- i see…

ralph- but i hop edave loses here so my U-chan can be a champion!!!

Bob- sigh

ralph- come on ukyo!!! YEAH

Ukyo- i’mnot even fighting you dumb ass

Ralph- hey najaro.. make me an ukyo doll!!!

Ukyo- stop it you pervert!!

BoB- anyway dave attacks Xiahau with dragonsfang and misses

Ralph- Xiahau kicks dave int the midsection cause ing himto drop dragonsfang.. he then picks p dargonsfang and brings it down at dave..

BoB- it goes right through him

nwd- suprised? that blade was desgined for me.. it can only be successfully used by me and cannot harm me.. you goofed..

Ralph- Dave lunges at Xiahau knocking him out of the ring.. on hs way down he tags in u-chan who smacks dave on the head with a spatula.. dave falls to the ground slowly…

BoB- Ukyo picks dave up and throws HIM out of the ring but on his way out he tags Lina

Ralph- Lina and U-chan stand there sizing each other up.. GO U-CHAN!

BoB- Lina casts a small fireball smpeel that hits ukyo.. she falls back against the ropes.

Ralph- NOOO!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!! Ralph- I don’t know but we have sam donaldson down there LIVE with a report

Sam- thank you ralph.. i’m sam donaldsona nd this is my hard hair.. many think it’s tupee or that i use to muh gel.. the fact of the matte ris i wake up and it’s like this.. It appears that Dave and Xiahau are dukingit out down here

BoB- is that all?

Sam- yup

Ralph- back to the match.. Ukyo send several small spatula’s at lina..one hits her left lega nd knocks her to the ground.. it doesn’t look liek she can move it. good one u-chan!!

Bob- Lina winces in pain and tries to stand up but fails miserably

Lina- uuhh LEVITATION!!

BoB- she’s floating so at leats she’s not at as muh of a disadvantage…

Ralph- it looks ike dave is doing quite a number on Xiahau down there..

BoB- yeah..now.. but it looks like dave’s been taking quite a beating too.. that black eye doesn’t suit him well

Ralph- here comes a figure out of the shadows he hand xiahau somthing..it looks like…

BoB: LOBO Ralph – UCHAN!! hit her again.. she just swatted lina wiht he rpattual kniocking he rto the ground.. she is now stomping her WOO BABY YEAH!!

BoB- Xiahau lunges ta dave with lobo.. dave ducks out of the way.. he looks quite worried.

Ralph- Lina can’t stand up.. she’s almost out of it

BoB- Xiahau takes another shot at dave and misses again… if that blade cts dave he’s a goner

Ralph- Ukyo picked up lian and has thrown he rout of the ring..

BoB- Xiahau trips dave and now lunges ot finish him for good…

BoB AND ralph- LINA JUST LANDED ON XIAHAU!!… Ralph- goo uchan!!

BoB- There’s a pile up on top of dave i can;t see if lobo conected or not…

Ralph- there’s the bell.. Ukyo and xiahau have it won

BoB- but i can’t tell–

Ralph- that’s all the time we have for tonight jjoin this weekend for–

BoB- dmanit!!! i wanna know what happened

Winner: Xiahau and Ukyo

BoB- Welcome to another night of amazing fights. We have with us tonight round two of the lethal lottery, a match between what could very well be the two most powerful tag teams in the UCTF and a match between BoB, a man who’s own power is surpassed only by his dashing good looks and wonderful personality v. Ralph, a man who’s lame excuse for power is only surpassed by his girlish figure and ability to put you to sleep with merely his voice.
Ralph- you sir, are an a$$.

BoB- let it be known for the record that my most unworthy opponent called me an A$$.

Ralph- shut up let’s get tot the fights.

Ralph- This fight, I think should be one of the most interesting fights of the night. NWD and Lina Inverse, two members of the stable “the new light” will be squaring off against Iceman of fire and ice and Sailor Bowser of AX, the two tag temas facing each other tonight.
BoB- personally I think this may very well factor into the outcome of this match, two rivals against two friends… it seems unlikely that it could go any other way but to NWD and Lina.

Ralph- I couldn’t agree with you more BoB, speak of the devil and he shall appear… here comes Lina and Dave with Shayla Shayla. The reaction they are recieving here tonight is astounding

BoB- most of that rection I would imagine is for Shayla Shayla who just recovered fromn accident she recieved while training about a week ago.

Ralph- she looks to be in tip top condition though as she takes her seat in the front.

BoB- and here comes sailor Bowser and Iceman… they don’t look happy.

Ralph- they’ve distanced themselves from each other in thier entrance, I definatly think the training process has been hard on these two.

BoB- not that it matters, the reactin they recieve is tremendious. A lot of AX fans and fire and ice fans out there, they obviously would cheer for this team.. but despite the push i still think NWD and Lina have the edge.

Ralph- Lina and Bowser enter the ring first and there’s the bell

DING!

BoB- Sailor Bowser Wastes no time in attack Lina with her cresent moon strike… Lina blocks it with her Zelas Bleed spell

Ralph- which works more like a distruptive spell thna an attack spell.. very good move on lina’s part.

BoB- sailor bowser charges at lina and knocks her to the ground… she starts pounding on her.

Ralph- Lina’s not letting it affect he rtoo much as she kicks the scout off of her and casts a Balus Rod spell. she attacks SB fullforce with it but SB dodges. Lina turns and attacks again and SB is hit hard. She’s not taking it too well and looks to be out. Iceman has entered the ring and has dragged his partner out..he gets in and is ready for action.

BoB- Lina casts burst round and sends several low level firballs at iceman.. who, luky for him, dodges all of them easily.

Ralph- Lina looks a bit tired and tags Dave in, who immidenatly draws his sword dragonsfang

Dave- dragonsfang has a very special property iceman.

Iceman- what’s that!?!

Dave- well, fo rone it can absorb magic

Iceman- that’s not in your file.

Dave- well.. they should put it in now.. i discovered it the other dya when ow!!!

BoB- dave was just nailed with a chunk of ice

Iceman- shut up and fight!!

Dave- sigh, if you insist. LINA!

Lina- Source of all power, Wind which blows to the East… FLARE ARROW!

BoB- Dave catches the flare arrow with his blade and lunges at iceman, who dodges.

LIna-Source of all power, Wind which blows to the East… FLARE ARROW!

Ralph- and he catches it again!!! he lunges at iceman and hits him in the arm withthe flat of the blade.

BoB- not that it matters much since the blade is empowered with Fire Magic right now looking at it funny could prove to be disasterous for Iceman

NWD- had enough!?

Iceman- never

Ralph- Iceman just sent a steady stream of ice at NWD knocking the legendary sword from his hands.. this bodes nt well for our hero

BoB- i don’t think anyone up there is NOT a hero

Ralph- regardless it bods not well for one of em

BOB- davedrop kicks Iceman after rebounding form the ropes and tags lina in who sends a barrage of flare arrows his way

Ralph- Sailor bowser is UP and leaving.. what’s she saying.

SB- i gotta go train for my fight AGAINST you iceman… good luck fending both of em off.

BoB- Sailor bowser is practically forfeting th match

Ralph- she is more concerned with her team. i think this may be a wise move on her part wear the enemy down… she doesn’t have tolift a finger

boB- Lina hits a suprised iceman with a flare arrow attack, knocking him to the ground.. he looks hurt.

Lina- time to end this…Source of all power, light which burns beyond crimson, let thy power gather in my hand! FIREBALL!

BoB- and it seems to be getting bigger and bigger as it heads towrds him.. it’s increasing in power and moving slowly.

Ralph- it’s shayla shayla!!! she’s controling the firball… iceman is getting the hell away from that and shayla just starts laughing!

BoB- iceman is out and the fireball is hovering above him

Ralph- what a tactic he can’t get back in the ring or the fireball will consume him..it’s just hoverning above him.

10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1

Ralph- and lina and NWD win it!

BoB- what an amazing fight that was… and now onto amazing fight numero two

Winner- Lina and NWD

Ralph- as if to waste no tiem guyver and Erlos make thier way into the ring… followed by ryoga and midnight rider.. well at least midnight rider.
Midnight rider- Erlos, guyver.. I know you were expecting a fight tonight but… well.. you see my partner isn;t here and uhh.. well no noe seems to know where he is and uhh.. i doubt he knows where he is. i have anothe rmatch tonight and i don;t want to destroy myself before then so.. uhh.. you win.

BoB- well that was an exciting match up.

Ralph- the team of guyver and erlos look somewhat dissapointed but hey, they get to advance to the next round huh..

Winner: Erlos and Guyver

BoB- The fight at hand is Zel and Ryu Vs. Goul’dan and Skuld.
Ralph- My guess here is Zel and Ryu. Skuld and Goul’dan are from opposing stables and are forced to work under a strained relationship. Ryu proved to be a force in the rumbles, and Zel can hold his own. On the other side, Skuld is capable and Goul’dan is… well, he was able to push a drunk out of the ring.

BoB- I’d be inclined to agree with you, Ralph. But don’t count out anyone. You know as well as I do that anything can happen in the UCTF!

Ralph- I sure do, BoB.

BoB- The teams are entering simultaneously from the two opposite entrances. The crowd is cheering… but we don’t really know who they’re cheering for. The four combatants take their places and all step into the ring.

Ralph- They seem to have mutually agreed to fight this one with everyone in the ring at once. Not a bad idea. It promotes chaos, mistakes, bloodshed, and extra-angry tempers when you have a full scale two-on-two.

BoB- Gotta love that.

(Ding!)

BoB- Goul’dan rushes in from his corner, brandishing his club and screaming gutteral cries of anger and exhileration.

Ralph- Oh really?

BoB- Yep.

Ralph- Zel advances to meet Goul’dan’s attacks. Zel spins past a bad bludgeoning and trips Goul’dan.

BoB- Skuld ducks a hurricane kick of Ryu’s! Ryu lands on top of the tripped Goul’dan, who grabs his foot. Ryu hits the ground with a thud!

Ralph- Zel begins to chant some sort of magic spell, but loses his concentration when Skuld delivers a roundhouse kick to his jaw! Zel steps back, wincing. Skuld tries to press the advantage…

BoB- Goul’dan is still holding onto Ryu’s foot. Goul’dan stands and begins to spin, holding Ryu all the while at arms length away. Goul’dan releases Ryu, and Ryu goes flying into Zel!

Ralph- Zel falls to the ring floor under the weight of Ryu! Ryu and Zel are both down! Skuld approaches to finish them off, but–

BoB- Skuld is tackled by Goul’dan!

Skuld- What the hell do you think you’re doing? Get back, idiot!

Goul’dan- We knock both enemy. Now fight other for world titles. Oh-ho! Skuld fall bad!

Skuld- Damn it! We haven’t won yet! It’s not even the finals….

Ralph- Goul’dan and Skuld seem to be exchanging some harsh words there, and Goul’dan gets up reluctantly. But he is immediately knocked down by Ryu!

BoB- Ryu crouches and pushes the ogre onto his back, following it up with a fist to the neck!

Ralph- And Goul’dan is out!

BoB- Skuld barely had time to rise before Zel set upon her! Zel catches the unprepared Skuld with a powerful elbow and another blow to the side. Zel pushes Skuld from the ring, where she falls.

Ralph- And the ref has started the count. Zel and Ryu together push the heavy Goul’dan from the ring.

5…6…

BoB- Skuld is moving! She sits, then stands up…

8…9…

BoB- She jumps but doesn’t make it back into the ring in time! And Zel and Ryu will advance to the next round of the Lethal Lottery!

Winners: Zel and Ryu

BoB- Our next match in the Lethal Lottery tournament sees Naga and Tessai of the Underdark facing off against Ukyo Kounji and Xiahau the Blue Staff. Besides Naga, little or nothing of these fighters has been heard from since round one. We can only assume that they’ve been in some secluded room, training diligently. Of course, Xiahau isn’t known as the outgoing sort towards the press in the first place. In any case, this should be a ferocious battle.
Ralph- Ukyo will take them all out! GO UKYO!!

BoB- Well folks, you’ve heard the word from Ralph. Get ‘em in while you can, Ralph, because you won’t have the last word in our fight coming up later tonight.

Ralph- You have that all wrong BoB… but shut up, I have to watch Ukyo.

BoB- While Ralph daydreams, let’s shift our focus to the fight. Naga and Tessai have entered and are approaching the ring. They receive polite applause from the crowd, but it’s mostly drowned out by Naga’s maniacal laughter. And now Xiahau and Ukyo have entered across the arena and take to the ring themselves. The crowd really lights up now! And for a second there, we couldn’t even hear Naga laughing.

Ralph- WIN THIS ONE FOR US, U-CHAN!

BoB- Ralph is here screaming, but Ukyo fortunately doesn’t hear him. So–

(Ralph gets up and leaves.)

BoB- So Ralph has left to move closer to the ring. I guess I have to take it from here. The Blue Staff steps into the ring and Naga enters to oppose him, as she screams about treachery and taunts Xiahau. Naga begins to laugh and–

(Ding!)

BoB- Thankfully, the bell rings! Xiahau assumes a defensive stance. Naga spreads her arms and utters an arcane incantation. A burning sphere forms in front of her… this looks like trouble for Xiahau! Naga launches a great wave of fire that envelops him!

Naga- HAhaHAHAHAHAHAhaHAHAHAHAH-AhhhhHAHAHA!!!

BoB- Smoke and fire clear from Xiahau, who is… wow… I’ll be a blind gopher! Xiahau is still standing unharmed! A strange blue aura surrounds him and his staff! The light vanishes suddenly and Xiahau looks as calm as ever. Naga has stopped laughing and looks flustered. Ukyo in her corner seems relieved, but that will be short-lived, as Ralph has just reached shouting distance…. Back in the ring, Naga releases a second wave of fire! Xiahau rushes foreward through the flames and comes out unhurt near Naga, who taps out of the ring to make way for Tessai!

(Ralph returns and takes a seat.)

BoB- Hello again Ralph. You’ll have to tell us all later why your face is red…. Now Xiahau thrusts with his staff, but the weapon bounces harmlessly off of Tessai, who emits a laugh of his own. Tessai slashes at his opponent, but Xiahau jumps back out of range. Tessai throws his razor-sharp blade, and Xiahau deftly ducks under and dodges aside before it returns to Tessai’s hand.

Ralph- Tessai really needs to practice his accuracy with that thing.

BoB- Thanks for that comment, Ralph. Maybe Tessai has simply been fighting very agile opposition. Now he and Xiahau both move to the center of the ring. Xiahau drops and attacks Tessai’s knees, which don’t budge at all! Tessai snatches Xiahau with one hand and throws him back against the ropes, where Xiahau falls to the ground! Ukyo reaches and tags Xiahau! She pulls him out of the ring and enters herself!

Ralph- BE CAREFUL OUT THERE, DARLIN’!

BoB- That will be enough, Ralph. Ukyo backs off from an attack and circles the ring warily, around the giant Tessai. Ukyo runs foreward and rolls past Tessai, smacking him in the side with her giant spatula as she passes… which seemed to do no damage. Tessai turns slowly as Ukyo rises, turns, and leaps back over his head. Tessai is looking a bit disoriented. Ukyo hops onto his back, one arm gripping around Tessai’s neck and the other around her weapon! Tessai flails his arms and weapon wildly, but they don’t hit Ukyo! He rears back his head an– Ukyo slams the handle of her big spatula down his throat! Ukyo jumps down as Tessai falls back and hits the ground!

Ralph- Damn right! Show that $*%&#@!

BoB- Damn it Ralph, don’t say $*%&#@ on the air…. Tessai is prone with a huge spatula down his throat! It’s the same technique we saw Xiahau perform on Tessai’s old partner Goul’dan only two tourneys ago! And now Naga is forced to enter the ring and try to salvage this match. Naga clasps her hands together and pushes them away from her body. A deadly steak of lightening flies from her hands towards Ukyo!

(Ralph faints.)

BoB- She anticipated the attack and dives away… the beam caught her in the leg, which is gonna be sore for a while. Ukyo stumbles and Naga takes aim again! Another magical attack from Naga is sent towards the ceiling as Naga crumples under a blow from Xiahau, who has regained his senses and returned to the ring! And it looks like this one is over! Naga is down for the count and Tessai is unconscious. As is Ralph.

Ralph – ————-

Winners: Xiahau and Ukyo

BoB- All right everyone! It is time for the fight between two of our most well known tag teams, AX, and FireAnIce!
Ralph- These Are two excellent tag teams, both with a good reason to win. Ice man, and both fighters from AX have already fought tonight, and both lost tonight. So two losses in one night would not be very kosher I don’t think.

BoB- You’re right and here comes our first tag team to the ring, and it is AX!!!!!!!!

(AX enters the ring, while many screaming fans are heard)

BoB- And look over there, here comes FireAnIce as well!!

(Crowd cheers just as loud, as FireAnIce enter the ring)

Ralph- you know Bob, FireAnIce have really turned into kind of a one hit wonder. They have made a booming start into the UCTF with their victory over Akira, and Vampire Hunter D, Ice man advanced in the tournament, and both fighters are looking pretty good.

BoB- Yes, however tonight will be their true test, on weather or not they are really the real thing or not. I think that even if they don’t beat AX they can still prove that they are worthy opponents. But on the other hand if they do happen to beat AX, and surprise many of the fans here ant the UCTF grand arena, well Ralph I think that would speak for itself.

Ralph- Absolutely Bob, as far as official tag teams go there has not yet been an equal to AX, they are truly amazing fighters.

BoB- Fireball has entered the ring, and will be up against Sailor Bowser first.

(Ding)

BoB- And there’s the bell! SB charges at Fireball who flips back and out of the way of SB, Fireball while only a human, still posses many dangerous techniques. Including the dreaded “Burning Winter”

Ralph- Oh! SB Is charging at Fireball with numerous punches and kicks both all are easily evaded by Fireball! Fireball just seems to be eluding SB, this is really odd. I would expect him to be more of the aggressor, just knowing his personality I guess.

BoB- You’re right Ralph, Fireball appears to just be running away. Could he be afraid of SB?

Ice man- Hold it now… Just hold it….

Sailor Bowser- Come on! what are you trying to pull??? Fight me like a man!

Fireball- (To himself) Come on now hurry it up..

BoB- SB is leaping at Fireball, who is just perying all of her blows with his forearms. Fireball has no offensive strategy that can be seen.

Ice man- Almost, just wait for it…

Fireball- Damn it!

Ralph- What is going on here? This is really odd, to tell you the truth I don’t think that I quite understand what’s going on!

Ice man- …….Now

BoB- Ohhhh! and Fireball unloads a devastating punch to the face of SB sending her back to the turn buckle!

Fireball- Finally!

BoB- Fireball charges at SB hitting her with a multitude of punches and elbows! MR runs around the ring to where SB is and tags her, in comes MR! Midnight Rider leaps in over SB’s, and Fireball’s head, turns and hits Fireball on either side of his neck! Fireball lets go and lunges at MR, who dodges, and counters with a right and a left to the face of Fireball! Fireball dives at the legs of MR, but MR Jumps back and out of the way! SB comes foreward towards Fireball and kicks him in the ribs before she exits the ring!

Ralph- Fireball gets up only to just barely block the kick of MR! Fireball jumps back to the corner and MR charges at him! And Both fighters lock up! Fireball spins towards the center of the ring while still in a deadlock with MR! Fireball extends his arms somewhat moving MR back, and he head butts him!!!

BoB- That could not have felt good! And MR’s nose is bloody! Fireball pushes him across the ring and into a turnbuckle and starts to hammer away at the mid section of MR! Fireball comes up with an elbow and cracks MR in the chin sending him down to his knees!

Ralph- But fireball picks up MR and throws him to the center of the ring!

(Fireball materializes a basketball sized fire ball in each hand)

Fireball- Now feel my true power!

MR- Like hell I will….

BoB- Fireball throws the two balls of fire, but MR leaps over them! MR charges at Fireball and tackles him around the waste! Fireball puts MR in a head lock and stands up! MR is reaching out his hand to tag SB… And he does! SB enters the ring and sweep kicks Fireball in the back of the legs, sending him down, and forcing him to release the head lock on MR!

Ralph- And Look! MR has grabbed the hands of Fireball, and SB is letting lose on him! This could be trouble! MR lets go of Fireball and SB grabs him from the side and picks him up! SB drop kicks Fireball over to the other side of the ring!

BoB- Holy crap! And fireball is not in too good of condition. Fireball gets up only to be knocked down again by jump kick from SB! Fireball crawls towards the edge of the ring to tag his partner but SB won’t let him! She drags him back to the center of the ring. This could be trouble for FireAnIce if Fireball can not tag Ice man. And SB goes to pick up Fireball but she is hit in the face by a small flame generated from the hand of Fireball!!

Ralph- And it looks as though Fireball manages to make it to the side of the ring where he is tagged by Ice man! Ice man enters the ring and now this could be trouble for AX! Ice man flips towards SB and cones down with a lightning fast hatchet kick on the top of her head, sending her staggering back to the ropes!

BoB- With a fully charged Ice man, it may take a miracle for AX to pull off a victory here. And Ice man forms a cone of ice and hurls it at SB who can not react in time to dodge it! But here comes MR from behind Ice man with a steel chair! And he shatters the chair over the head of Ice man, and he goes down!!!!!!!

Ralph- And today folks, a miracle has been performed through a chair…

BoB- Ice man very disorientated tries to get up but is tripped by SB! And here comes Fireball!! How the hell did he gather the strength to get up? Anyway, Fireball punches MR directly in the back and sends him over by SB!

Ralph- Now Fireball and Ice man move over to the other side of the ring to catch their breath, as AX rises to their feet and prepares to attack!

Ice man- Well? What do you think?

Fireball- I think it’s time.

Ice man- Me too. AX! Prepare for FireAnIce final attack!!!!!!!!

Fireball- BURNING WINTER!!!!!!!!!

(Both fighters leap high into the air, Ice man forms a large ball of ice in both hands with large thick spikes growing out of it. Ice man hurls the spiked ball of ice at AX as Fireball sends a blaze of flames at it propelling it even faster and setting it on fire)

BoB- Oh my God!!!!! It is the Burning Winter attack! and AX, along with most of the ring is sent into the third level seating!

(Ralph has passed out)

BoB- Fireball and Ice man come down onto what is left of the ring, and I think that it is safe to say that this fight is over! FireAnIce have proven to the world that they are not a team to be taken lightly! Well folks Ralph and I better prepare for the next fight.

Ralph- (Who has woken up) Yeah, it’s a good one…

Winner- FireAnIce

BoB- Well folks, I’m sure this is what you all have been waiting for. It’s BoB, vs. Ralllllllllllllph!!!!!!!
(Crowd explodes)

Ralph- And here comes Ralph into the ring and the crowd is going crazy!

BoB- No! Wait! They are going crazy for Bob, as he kicks Ralph onto the canvas and starts stomping on him!

Ralph- That’s not what’s happening! I just did that to you! And Ralph picks up Bob and smashes him into the turn buckle. Ralph is now repeatedly punching Ralph in stomach and mid section!

BoB- But, oh wait! It was really Bob doing all of that to Ralph! And Ralph is on the ground! Bob kicks him over to the center of the ring, where he hits him with an elbow drop! And it looks as if Ralph is in trouble!

Ralph- Oh my gosh!!!!! Bob really never did any of that! In the mean time it was Ralph beating the crab out of Bob who was blabbering has @$$ off the whole time! And….

BoB- Shut up @$$ wipe! That’s not what’s happening. Bob, throws Ralph into the corner and leaps at him with a fly kick!

Ralph- You moron! You can’t even do a flying kick! Ralph has just knocked Bob out of the ring, and the fans are going crazy!

BoB- Yes the fans ARE going crazy because Ralph was just knocked out of the ring! And the ref is beginning the count!

Ralph- And Bob is on the floor as the ref begins to count!

Ref- 1, 2, 3, 4…

BoB- Ralph is about to be counted out! And the fans are on their feet praising Bob!

Ref- 5, 6, 7, 8,

Ralph- And Bob, is almost counted out!

BoB- Shut up Ralph, you know damn well you are the one out of the ring!

Ralph- No way! Just look, I am standing in the ring and you’re not, you are being counted out!

BoB- As all of the fans can easily see, Ralph is out of the ring and…

Ref- 9…

BoB- And Ralph gets lucky and climbs back in.

Ralph- Do not believe BoB. We all know who is the liar here. Bob climbs back in the ring and charges at Ralph who easily dodges out of his way and counters with a kick to Bob’s neck sending him down!

BoB- And Ralph is the one actually on the ground and he is out cold!

Ralph- How the hell can I be out cold if I am still talking?

BoB- Good point. Ralph is out mostly cold!

Ralph- But what he really means to say is, Bob is out mostly cold, and Ralph kicks him out of the ring!

BoB- But wait! Ralph was the one actually kicked out of the ring! And the ref starts the count!

Ref- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7……

Ralph- And for the second time Bob will almost be counted out!

Ref- 8, 9, 10!

BoB- And it’s over!! Bob has beaten Ralph!

Ralph- Oh, no he didn’t! Ralph has defeated Bob by a count out!

BoB- Oh bull shi+, Bob is the winner!

Ralph- Ralph is really the winner though!

Winner- Ralph- Ralph! BoB- BoB wins! BoB- anyway here coems the prez.

Tarot- thanks for the intro BoB… allright here’s what’s happening next week… round three: NWD and Lina will face Zel and Ryu while Xiahau and Ukyo face Guyver and erlos. Also Hystalin will fight Happosai, Fire and Ice will face Crimson Wolf, Dark Schnieder will make his debut against Tessai and Devilman and Shayla Shayla will face two mystery fighters who will be revealed at the time fo the match. It promises to be a goo dnight go i’ll see you all on the flip side.

Weird Wednesday

BoB- Hello folks and welcome to weird wednesday. Here with me today like always is my friend and fight analyst Ralph Gerrard.

Ralph- Hi Bob.

BoB- Tonight we have a very interesting range of fights. Our main
event though will be a show of swordsmanship between Gourrey Gabriev and Luke Skywalker scheduled to take place later in the fight. But now, we have a very interesting opener for you between Beowulf the legendary fighter, and Mourl the beakless Turkey.

(Beowulf enters)

BoB- Thanks Ralph. And here comes Beowulf now. He appears to be carrying a few things…

Ralph- Weapons?

BoB Yes, I can make out a hatchet and….. Something that appears to be a bag of stuffing…

Ralph- I think that Beowulf is taking this whole Thanksgiving thing too far Bob.

BoB- Yeah. Beowulf has just entered the ring. Boy that was really a stagnant crowd there Ralph not too many people made any sound at all. And look. Above the crowd! Mourl is sort of flying in! Now we are getting some reaction, as the crowd starts to ignite. Mourl stumbles into the ring over the first rope but abruptly gets right up. Wow! This is a big turkey, he must weigh close to 90 pounds.

Ralph- Yeah, even in the pictures he didn’t look that big. Yes, Mourl is standing a good 3 feet high it looks like.

BoB- Mourl hops over to the center of the ring and tilts his head from side to side. I think he is glaring at Beowulf. And the bell sounds! As our first fight of the night gets under way. Beowulf charges at Mourl with his hatchet and Mourl jumps out of the way, as Beowulf misses. Mourl kicks Beowulf in the side of the leg and trips him!

Ralph- Wow, I didn’t expect mourl to be that strong.

BoB- I don’t think that any on us did Ralph. And Mourl jumps onto the back of Beowulf and starts stomping on his back with his claws. Beowulf back hands Mourl off of him and onto the canvas. Mourl is a bit disorientated I think. Beowulf quickly gets up, charges toward Mourl who is flapping around on the floor, and he punts him into the crowd! That was a fantastic kick, Mourl is really heavy. Mourl about 7 rows back is now severally disorientated, and looks hurt too.

Ralph- Well he was just kicked by someone 200 pounds heavier than him.

BoB- Beowulf grabs his hatchet and sets off into the crowd to get
Mourl.

Ralph- It looks as if Beowulf does not just want to win, but wants to kill Mourl! I think that that shows bad morals there Bob.

BoB- That’s not funny Ralph. Beowulf grabs Mourl by the neck and takes him back into the ring and hits him on the head with the blunt side of the hatchet rendering mourl mostly unconscious.

Ralph- And Beowulf opens the stuffing and conveniently has a pan with him. Wonder how that happen’d

Beowulf- Don’t worry everyone! I will share!!!

BoB- Beowulf really playing to the crowd now as we hear several
assorted boos. This one is over folks, as Beowulf places Mourl’s head on the turnbucle and raises his hatchet.

Ralph- And Beowulf chops off Mourl’s hea…… Holy s%&$!!!!!! Mourl exploded!!!!!

BoB- I don’t think that you can say s%&$, here Ralph. But you’re
right! Mourl exploded destroying almost the entire ring! And leaving
Beowulf in pretty bad condition! I guess there is no winner here Ralph, since Mourl is in millions of little pieces and beowulf is looking
pretty dead….. What is that?!?!

Ralph- It looks like another Mourl coming down from in the rafters!!!

BoB- It is!!!! And Mourl has pulled the old exploding Mourl trick!!!!

Ralph- The oldest one in the book

BoB- Well folks it is over, unless another Beowulf pops out of no
where, as Mourl enters what’s left of the ring.

(Mourl lands and tilts his head from side to side)

Ralph- I’ve seen it all now Bob.

BoB- So have I Ralph. You know when you see exploding beakless
turkeys, you have seen it all. Mourl wins this fight on 5 minutes and 48 seconds official time, like anyone cares. Lets move on to the Fujisawa, Murakumo fight can we please?!

Ralph- Lets go, they will need a few minutes to bring in another ring.

BoB- We’re outta here!

Ralph- For a few minutes any way.

Winner: Mourl

A commercial for Spread-a-bread, the bread you spread is seen on the screens in the arena followed by a commercial for N1.. nabiki Financing…

Winner: Mourl

BoB- Our next fight will be a basically a large show of superhuman
strength. It is Mr. Masamichi Fujisawa vs. Murakumo. Now I have heard that it will be virtually impossible for Fujisawa to defeat this inhuman fighter, however I believe that Fujisawa’s inhuman strength will be enough to over power this foe. Now weather or not he actually does this or not is still yet to be seen.

Ralph- I agree Bob, despite what some people say, I would almost
guarantee that this fight will be no walk in the park for Murakumo.

BoB- Yes, especially since it has been rumoured that Fujisawa has not had a drink in almost a week. Which would make his strength even greater. Aaaah, here comes Fujisawa to the ring now.

Ralph- He’s really getting a good reaction from the crowd here tonight.

BoB- That’s right, they mostly seem to be Fujisawa supporters. And Fujisawa enters the ring. And here comes Murakumo now hovering into the ring. And we are hearing a lot of boos now, he is definitely not the crowds favorite tonight. Murakumo lands in the center of the ring, and the bell rings. It’s show time, as Fujisawa quickly charges at Murakumo, but Murakumo easily levitates over him. Murakumo is now shooting some sort of energy beam at Fujisawa and basically destroying the ring. Fujisawa jumps at Murakumo and grabs him! The crowd explodes with cheers, as Fujisawa starts punching Murakumo, who is starting to look hurt already!!!

Ralph: Wow, this is an interesting turn of events.

BoB: You said it. But Murakumo quickly pushes Fujisawa off of him and kicks him in the mid-section! Murakumo Grabs Fujisawa and throws him to the ropes, and blasts him with some sort of energy surge or something! Fujisawa goes down! But Murakumo picks him back up and throws him across the ring! And the crowd seems pissed!

Ralph- As does Mr. Fujisawa though.

BoB- That’s right Ralph! Fujisawa is getting up and is looking really
unhappy! Murakumo just laughing at him!

Murakumo- You imperfect fool! What are you trying to prove by fighting me any way? I thought I made it perfectly clear…You have no hopes for winning. You do know that don’t you?

Mr. Fujisawa- Shit! I didn’t drink for a week for this!!! No way I am going to let all that lost drinking time go to waste! I’ll kill you!

Ralph- Well that was precious….

BoB- Fujisawa charges Murakumo again, and once again getting thrown across the ring! Fujisawa is back up though in a matter of seconds. As he jumps toward Murakumo and beautifully executes a flying kick but it is deflected like nothing by Murakumo. Murakumo now jumps at Fujisawa while he is on the ground, and lands right on him! Murakumo begins punching rapidly at Fujisawa, but doesn’t get any more than 4 or 5 punches off before Fujisawa throws him off like a bull!

Ralph- I would say that it looks as if Murakumo is wearing down a bit. If the fight continues on like this Fujisawa has a good sporting chance.

BoB- If the fight continues on like this Fujisawa will probably die. I
don’t think that Murakumo is wearing down.

Ralph- Thanks Bob…

BoB- Fujisawa now jumps to his feet and throws a kick to the head of Murakumo, which connects! Murakumo goes down now for the first time this fight!

Ralph- That was a clean blow to the side of the head of Murakumo, and he could be down for the count.

BoB- Murakumo is now trying to get up after that agonizing blow to the head, but Fujisawa does not want that to happen as he repeatedly kicks the side of Murakumo. Murakumo rolls under the ropes and jumps out of the ring to catch his breath. But this does not stop Fujisawa, He jumps over the ropes and starts to pummel Murakumo in the head! But Murakumo levitates up and away from Fujisawa. But not high enough to escape the Fujisawa jump!

Ralph- Fujisawa takes down Murakumo into a back-breaker, and then a body slam onto the hard floor of the arena, wow, is that legal?

BoB- If exploding beakless turkeys are allowed in the UCTF then I absolutely think that those moves are legal…

Ralph- I suppose I would have to agree with you Bob.

BoB- Murakumo is still putting up a fight with Fujisawa as they both
take hold of each other and try to wrestle each%20other to the ground.

Murakumo- Damn you, you imperfect bastard! This is not supposed to happen!

Mr. Fujisawa- Your damn right! I haven’t been sober for over a week since I was ten!

BoB- The two combatants seem to be exchanging a few words at ringside where they are fighting. And it appears as though Murakumo is getting the better of Fujisawa, as he pushes his back up against the ring.

Ralph- You know, you have got to wonder what keeps these two still fighting after what they’ve been through tonight, particularly Murakumo.

BoB- Look! Fujisawa uses Murakumo’s own weight against him and punches him in the stomach throwing him back into the ring! Murakumo looks like he is in pain.

Ralph- But that is to be expected.

BoB- Thanks Ralph, we all needed that. Fujisawa jumps back into the ring and hits Murakumo right in the chest with a downward punch. But Murakumo comes right back with another power blast of some kind. Both fighters rise and stand toe to toe in the dead center of the ring punching the living s#$% out of each other!

Ralph- I don’t think that you can say s#$% here Bob.

BoB- Both fighters are now extremely bloody and looking like they can’t go on much longer. The punching slows down but neither fighter is backing down! Fujisawa Falls to a left hook of Murakumo! But it appears that he has fallen foreward on to Murakumo taking him down with him! Both fighters are down now, Fujisawa on top and Murakumo underneath.

Ralph- Amazing.

BoB- Fujisawa is getting up though, and since he is on top of Murakumo, Murakumo can’t get up! Fujisawa is up now and hanging on the ropes! and the ref starts the count. Murakumo unable to get up because fujisawa is standing right over him and blocking him from doing so. And it is all over folks! Fujisawa has conquered the mountain and Murakumo has been defeated. Hell of a fight!

Ralph- I don’t think that you can say h…. Ahhh f@&k it! Hell of a
fight!!!!

Winner: Mr. Fujisawa

BoB- Here is another fight where size is going to be a big issue. It
is Rally Vincent vs. Goul’Dan the ogre lord.

Ralph- Yes, my statistics say that Goul’Dan is about 300 pounds heavier than Rally. Now Rally I think really has the, sort of home field advantage here if you will, because the crowd really loves Rally here.

BoB- Yes they do, cute girls always seem to get the fans more than nomadic 400 pound ogres.

Ralph- You know Bob I really think that that is discrimination. Don’t you?

BoB- Absolutely, It is discrimination, and is uncalled for.

Ralph- Actually Bob, this is sexual harassment here and I don’t have to take it.

(Ralph gets up and leaves)

BoB- Hmmm, What just happened there? Oh well, looks like I am doing this one on my own here. Rally is…..

(Ralph returns and puts his head set back on)

Ralph- Sorry Bob, I guess I got a little carried away there.

BoB- It’s okay Ralph. I was just saying that Rally is entering the
arena now as you can tell by the crowds reaction. She has just stepped up into the ring now. And here comes Goul’Dan. luckily Goul’Dan has some sort of Ogre background music playing because the crowd is deathly silent.

Ralph- Rally does not waste any time because before the bell even rings she pulls out a gun and shoots Goul’Dan!

(the bullets deflect off of what seems to be a force field)

BoB- I don’t think that that poses well for Rally. Goul’Dan looks
pissed. It looks like ball of ice has formed in Goul’Dan’s hand as he
thrusts it toward Rally. Rally shoots the ice ball in mid air
shattering it and protecting herself.

Goul’Dan- You are unable to hurt me Rally Vincent.

(Rally pulls out a fully automatic gun and shoots at Goul’Dan, the
bullets deflect in all directions.)

Goul’Dan- I will give you one last chance Rally, run away now, run away or I will tear that pretty little body of yours in half…

Rally- Not a chance ogre!!!!

Goul’Dan- Good…

BoB- There was a bit of an exchange of words there between Rally and Goul’Dan. And now Goul’Dan walks toward Rally . He grabs her by both arms and starts pulling!

Ralph- This could get messy Bob.

BoB- But who is that?!

(a man with a katana jumps in the ring behind Goul’Dan and stabs him)

Ralph- It looks like Hanza!

BoB- It is!

Hanza- This has happened to me before and I am not going to let it happen to someone else!

(Goul’Dan turns around and grabs Hanza by both arms, the same way that he had Rally. The stab wound heals instantly.)

Goul’Dan- You fool! What do you think that you can do?

BoB- What is this! Tessai now enters the ring from the north side.

Ralph- He looks like a packaderm! This is a madhouse!

Tessai- What the hell do you think you are doing? That is my job.

Goul’Dan- Back off. Don’t think that just because you are made of rock I won’t be able to beat the living s$%& out of you

Ralph and BoB- I don’t think that he can say s$%& here!

(Goul’Dan drops Hanza, who runs over by rally and watches Goul’Dan and Tessai)

BoB- This is interesting, Goul’Dan and Tessai are almost the exact
same size, Tessai just a few inches taller.

Tessai- You must understand, I can’t be hurt!

Goul’Dan- We’ll see about that.

BoB- Goul’Dan draws his large war hammer and swings at Tessai, and knocks him out of the ring! Tessai throws is double sided sword at Goul’Dan but he is able to dodge it. he jumps out of the rind toward Tessai, and tackles him. They wrestle around for a while but Goul’Dan is fighting Rally, so he is counted out, because Rally is still in the ring!

Ralph- That was original

BoB- And it is over! Rally wins. and then quickly flees the arena
with Hanza.

Ralph- I wonder what’s going on there?

BoB- Tessai and Goul’Dan realize what just happened and they are
starting to run after Rally and Hanza! Now that could get dangerous. Goul’Dan and Tessai together.

ralph: Let’s forget this crap and move on to the next fight.

BoB- Good Idea!

Winner: Rally Vincent

Just as the fighters are making their way out of the arena the entire place goes black and a voice is heard

Voice: Rally.. it is time for you to answer my question… you have seen the power that I posess.. will you join me in the darkness… will you fight on my side?

rally: Not in your life creep.

Voice: Then the decision has been made… it will be a decision you will be very sorry you made… when you fight Ukyo this friday i will make myself known… you will see my true form and true power.. then you will be in great fear of me

rally; Whatever (she leaves)

BoB: WOW now that was a wierd little exchange of words..we must move on to our next fight though

Kasuhiku jinnai v. Forrest Gump

Ralph: Forrest entires.. running as before and is followed by Kasuhiku Jinnai

Jinnai: HAHAHAHAHAHAH WHA HAHAHAHA I Kasuhiku Jinnai will—

Forrest: You don’t look like jen-ney

Jinnai” Well I am.. I’m talking here so shut up

Forrest: But Jen-ney and i go together like peas and carrots

Jinnai: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT you stupid fool.. i’ve never met you before

Forrest: What did you do to my Jen-ney

Jinnai: I AM Jinnai

Forrest: You are a liar, my momma always said “Liars are like dead rabbits, they always–”

Jinnai: SHUT UP Oh you must mean my sister

Forrest: I didn’t knwo jen-ney had a brother

Jinnai: OOOO You’re really starting to annoy me

Ralph: Kasuhiku attacks Forrest with a rope.. he’s trying to choke him… Forrest dodges the rope and starts running around the ring

BoB IT’S A DIRECT SET UP FOR HIS FINISHING MOVE BOX OF CHOCHOLATES!! Forrest isn’t waiting , he wants this fight to be over soon

Ralph: he attempts it and misses.. that looks like it really hurt

BoB: It looks like Jinni just pulled something out of his pocket.. it looks like a celphone of some sort

Jinnai: GET THE LOSER!

Ralph: the ring is now surrounded by Bugroms.. oddly enough they attack Kasuhiku

Jinnai”: NO GET THE LOSER!!

BoB: they’ve stopped, they’ve got a very confused look on thier faces.. they don’t know which loser to attack

Jinnai: ATTACK FORREST!

Ralph: they’re ll leaving! HAHA I think they’re going to attacka forrest

Jinnai: Wait what are you doing… wait.. STOP IT!

BoB: Gump is stupified

ralph: which really isn’t saying too much

BoB” He charges at Kasuhiku yealling…

Forrest: MOMMA ALWAYS SAID “CHEATERS NEVER WIN!”

Kasuhiku is laid out on the ground Forrest climbs up to the top rope and–

BoB: Kasuhiku gets up and pushes Forrest off.. he falls out of the riung and hits his head on the floor Forrest is taking a helluva beating

Ralph: Kasuhiku just stands there Laughing

Jinnai: HAHAHAHAHAHA HWA HAHA HWA HWA HAHAHA HWA HAHAHAHAHA HWA WHA HWA HWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Forrest: stop laughing at me

Jinnai: HAHAHAHAH HWA HAHAH WHA HWA WHAA HAHHAHHHAAA HA AHA AHHA HA HA HA HA HA

BoB: forrest gets up, climnbs back intothe ring and kicks Kasuhiku in the jaw.. kasuhiku falls back agaiunst the ropes and forrest throws him into the center of the ring

Ralph: He’s going to attempt the box of chaocholates again.. he’s running… OH NO He’s being choked by a ribbin

BoB: It’s kodachi Kuno

Ralph: What’s SHE doing here?

Kodachi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Forrest you dare attack my love?

Bob and Ralph; HER WHAT!?!

Kodachi: yes that’s right, my love.. Kasuhiku Jinnai. he’s the only one who really understands me.. bt no hard feeling forrest, here have a box of chocholates

BoB: Forest just took a box of chocholates, eats one and blacks out

KOdachi: Your momma was right.. you never do know what you’re gonna get HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ralph: She picks up Kasuhiku and carries him out of the ring

Kodachi: HAHAHAHAHAHAhA

BoB: What a freak

Winner: Kasuhiku Jinnai

Ralph: now onto our next matchup

Penpen v. uura

BoB: they both enter the ring and meet in the center.. pen pen looks ready to fight but Uura wants to say something first

UUra: penpen.. we no fight pen pen.. invitation to join. you and me create teamof animals.. already have duck and cabbit.. want penguin.. tell me later pen pen

Ralph: UUra leaves the ring and is counted out.. teh winer by default is PENPEN

Winner:PEnpen

BoB: and now to our MAIN EVENT..

ralph: Both men are very experienced swordsmen and both men have been preparing for this fight for a long time

boB: Here comes luke now, escorted by his girlfreind, princess Leia

ralph: Actually that’s his sister

BoB: EWWWW

Ralph: He’s got his sabre and is ready for action

BoB: and here comes Goury with his sword. Doesn’t look like much in comparison

Ralph: It doesn’t matter because looks can be very decieving

|
BoB: whatever

Ralphg: the bell sounds and immediately they begin this amazing work of swordpaly

BoB: It is as if they can read each other’s minds, they seem to be anticipating the other’s moves

Ralph: It’s now simply a matter of what factors more, Lukes finness or gaury’s strength

BoB: actually I think the factor is Luke’s sword.. it;s more advanced and because the blade is light the sword is far easier to mavuver

ralph: WHAT AND AMAZING LUNGE ATTACK BY GOURY.. and an equally amazing riposte by Luke.. gaury parries it and swings at hs head Luck ducks and goes for gaury’s leg… Goury blocks it

boB: BUT HIS Sword is now broken.. it seems that lukes swords cut right through gaury’s blade

Ralph: THIS MATCH IS OVER!!! folks.. it looks like the winner is Luke skywalker

BoB:Wait a minute.. it looks like Luke put hsi sword down to allow the match to be fair.. Goury sets his down and the two engage in hand to hand combat

Ralph: What honor… Goury Picks up Luke and slams him down on the mat

boB: Luke grabs goury’s leg and drags him down with him.

Ralph: Luke stands up and picks Goury up by the hair.. he jut threw him into a turnbuckle

BoB: It looks like Goury is totaly out of it, he just picked up his sword.. he must be crazy.. lukes got his now, he’s ready to end this

Goury: LIGHT COME FORTH!!

Ralph: I DON’T BELIVE IT!!! It’s THE SWORD OF LIGHT.. it looks like the tables have turned yet again

BoB:” This is one amazing matchup Gaury getshimself into position, wipes the sweat from his browand starts to attack Luke

Ralph: Luke’s doing fairly well defending himself but i doubt he can hold it much longer

BoB: Goury just disarmed Luke.. his sabre is now out of the ring

Ralph: Like luke did for him, Goury stes his sword down and readies himself for hand to hand conmbat. Luke rushes at Goury and sweeps himto the floor.. he follows it with and amazing elbow drop

BoB: Goury’s not moving. To finish the deed Luke climbs tot he top rope and executes a moonsault.. goury rolls out of the way and luke hits the mat a little too hard

Ralph: Tjis match is an excellent example of two powerful fighters fighiting with pure honor and force.

BoB: Goury has gotten out of the ring and has retrieved Luke’s Sabre.. he gives it to him and prepares for combat

ralph: Luke hasn’t even readied his weapon yet.. i don’t think he ha smuch left in him

mysterious voice over: Luke

LUke: BEN?!

Ben Kanobi

Luke… you must use the force

Luke: but this guys too powerful

Ben: The force will give you victory

LUke: IunderstandBoB:That’s just not right

Ralph: he readies his sabre and charges at Goury who dodges and slics off his android hand

BoB: NOW it’s over.. Goury drops his weapon and whips luke into the ropes.. CLOTHESLINE…

Ralph He just picke dluke up and nails him with a back breaker.. Luke is out cold and the winner is Goury Gabriev

Winner: Goury Gabriev

BoB: well see you all friday

Ralph: Bye now