Strong Man Tournament
Raven Darc vs. Ben Tennyson | Lo-Ruhamah vs. Xiu | Sao Feng vs. Gideon | Xamot vs. Inuyasha

!!!KRAAAAKATHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

*Why are we opening tonight’s broadcast with an awesomely cool sound effect that represents an explosion? Well that’s easy, Inuyasha has just kicked down the door to Sasa Dark’s office!*

Sasa: O_O JESUS CHRIST!

Inuyasha: YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH! >=| YOU SAID I’D BE FACING RAVEN DARC THIS WEEK! YOU’RE A DAMN LIAR! >=|

Sasa: whoa ho ho! You said you wanted him in a match or else you’d beat my ass. I heard you loud and clear! That’s why I gave you the opportunity to face him tonight. You just uhh.. Have to uhh.. Win two matches.. And then Raven will have to win two matches. And if THAT happens, then you can have your rematch.

Inuyasha: DAMNIT. I’ll win mine no doubt, but what about that loser Raven Darc?! He hasn’t won a match in ages!

*somewhere across the building*

Raven: *SPITS OUT WATER* … >=| I fucking HATE that guy!

*Back in Sasa’s office*

Sasa: *shrug* what do you want me to do? If it makes you feel better, He has to fight Ben 10, then either that fat ass Lo-Ruhamah or the gayest guy in the Universe, Xiu Shields. I’m sure he’ll get through it alright.

Inuyasha: ..he better.

*Inuyasha slowly walks out of the office, looking forward to finally paying Raven back for the sneak attack he received at his hands.*

Sasa: e_e…

*Elsewhere in the Arena, Xamot is approached by officials.*

Official: um.. Mr. Xamot?

Xamot: …

Official: Sasa has given you Inuyasha in the first round of this Tournament. Says “You’re Welcome.”

Xamot: … >=)…

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is our Opening Contest, and is a first round match for the “UCTF Strong Woman” Tournament!

*”We Don’t Care Anymore” by Story of the Year begins playing, bringing down the first competitor…*

Arzie: Introducing first, hailing from Gotham City, she is one half of the UCTF Tag Team Champions… BAAAAT-GIRRRLLLLL!!

*Cassandra Cain leaps quickly onto the apron and then hops easily over the ropes and into the ring. *

Arzie: And her opponent… Hailing from Salem-Center, Westchester County, New York… She is ALSO one half of the UCTF Tag Team Champions… TALLLOOOOOONNNN!!!

*Laura Kinney, a.k.a. The Clone a.k.a. X-23, leaps into the ring in a similar style of her opponent. Both women, with their characteristically stoic expressions stare each other down in the center of the ring.*

Bob: Well this is Sasa Dark’s style, make the Tag Team Champions fight each other over a chance to obtain the Highest Honor of the UCTF!
Ralph: Well this isn’t the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Friendship league, Bob. They’re professional fighters! These women don’t seem like the type to pull punches just because they’re partners, either…
Bob: No.. No they don’t. Looks like the Strong Woman 2008 Tournament is officially under way!

!!DING DING DING!!

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Talon vs. Bat-Girl

*The sound of the ringing bell almost has a “Pavlov’s Dog” effect on Talon, as she instantaneously attacks her tag team partner without a second thought! Bat-Girl blocks the strike from The Clone, and quickly parries her over with a Judo-styled over the shoulder arm throw!*

Bob: Bat-Girl quickly reverses!

*Talon flows through the throw, using Cassandra’s momentum to propel her body around and land on her feet. Now with her back to Bat-Girl, Talon throws a swift back kick. Bat-Girl catches the foot, and makes Laura pay the price, KICKING her standing leg out from under her!*

Bob: Another Qu–

*However, X-23 uses the momentum from the kick to the leg, bringing it around and NAILING her Partner in the side of the face with a flying roundhouse. Bat-girl, reeling from the kick, cartwheels away from her attacker, while Talon lands back-first on the canvas before quickly kipping back up to her feet.*

Ralph: Well, you were certainly right about them pulling no punches!
Bob: That was a great move there by X-23!

*Talon keeps the pressure on, leaping towards Cassandra who cartwheeled herself towards the corner. Bat-Girl rolls under the flying X-23!*

Bob: NOBODY HOME!

*With no one there, The Clone adjusts her flight, landing with both feet on the top rope. Bat-Girl is already mid-flight when X-23 lands, KICKING the Clone in the back of her knee. That leg slips off the rope, sending Laura crashing on to the top turnbuckle. As her body flies backwards from the impact, her leg tangles in the ropes, leaving her a sitting duck for Bat-Girl.*

Bob: Talon suddenly finds herself in the Tree of Woe!

*Bat-Girl’s now charging towards her partner like a runaway steam engine! The Goddess of Gotham City delivers a sickening sliding kick to Talon’s face!*

Bob: And a DEVASTATING running drop kick to her PARTNER’S skull!
Ralph: Bat-Girl was moving so fast, she ended up on the outside, Bob. Jesus what a kick!

*Kinney falls to the canvas following the drop kick, before beginning her instinctive climb back to her feet. While this is happening, Bat-Girl quickly double leaps to the apron and to the top rope.*

Bob: Bat-Girl perched on the top…

*Talon turns, and quickly rolls out of the way of her opponent’s top rope Missile Drop Kick attempt!*

Bob: Missile Drop kick misses! Bat-Girl lands on her feet!

*With both women’s backs facing each other, Talon strikes first with a flying backhand! Bat-Girl turns into the strike, blocking, parrying, and thrust kicking her opponent directly in the sternum! Laura rolls backwards from the hit, before arriving at to her knees. She grits her teeth, before–*

!!SNIKT!!

*Unleashing her claws! Playtime is over!*

Ralph: Uh oh!

*The Aggressive X-23 charges her partner with her drawn claws! Bat-Girl gets her forearms up in time to block being sliced in two, thanks to the razor sharp talons built into the arm bands of her bat-suit! She fires back with several forearm shots of her own, leaving the fans in the front row to witness a Krav Maga clinic in the center of the ring!*

Bob: Both women jocking for position in a close quarter’s combat exhibition!
Ralph: I don’t know which one I want to win! Bat-girl puppies or Wolverine-Girl puppies!

*The Tag Team Champions interlace and lock their fingers together in a test of strength. When Bat-Girl delivers a semi-cheap knee to the mid-section, X-23 responds by leaping off of her feet, and delivering a double kick to Cassandra’s ribs! Their hands are still locked together, so Bat-Girl is helpless as she’s Monkey flipped halfway across the ring!*

Bob: X-23 with the monkey flip!

*Laura charges the waiting Bat-Girl, who rolls backwards into a handstand! She catches Laura around the throat with her legs, stopping The Clone dead in her tracks!*

Ralph: But Bat-Girl catches her!

*She quickly brings X-23 down FOREHEAD first into the canvas with a big hurricanrana!*

Bob: And again halts any momentum Talon was attempting to build with her lightning fast reflexes!
Ralph: It’s her fighting style, Bob! Adapt to any situation, any fighting style! I HATE those types! >=|

*Bat-Girl wisely does not allow her opponent to recover! Unleashing batterangs from her utility belt, the sharp, bat-shaped projectiles fly across the ring towards Talon. She wisely rolls backwards in attempt to keep from being sliced in two by the objects!*

Ralph: Where does she get such wonderful toys?
Bob: Who knows, but they seem to be working well to keep Talon isolated across the ring! You can’t win if you can’t get in close quarters with your opponent who just happens to have long range weapons!

*Crouched low, X-23 growls as Bat-Girl pulls out more of what seems to be a damned endless supply of batterangs from the black hole that is her Utility Belt.*

Bob: Talon’s going to have to make a decision here!

*And she does. FLOOR IT! Talon launches herself towards her opponent, parrying away some, but not all of the batterangs as they inundate her! Most are knocked away, but those that aren’t stab right into The Clone’s body! She doesn’t slow down even HALF a step!*

Ralph: HOLY CRAP!

*Bat-Girl WISELY leaps out of the way, as X-23 drives her clawed fist INTO the turnbuckle! Cassandra flips over X-23, grabbing The Clone by the shoulders and tossing her across the ring AGAIN!*

Bob: Another reversal by Bat-Girl!

*X-23 ends up on the outskirts of the ring! She second she’s back to her feet on the apron, Bat-Girl MURDERS her in the face with a drop kick that sends X-23 flipping off the apron and to the aisle!*

Crowd: *POP!*

Ralph: Talon in a bad way!
Bob: And Bat-Girl is getting a running start!

*Bat-Girl leaps to the top rope, springboards off, and GLIDES over X-23 before landing on The Clone’s shoulders! She jerks backwards, hitting a devastating Hurricanrana on the concrete!*

Bob: HUGE air for that Rana!! Amazing!!
Ralph: I think she almost took HERSELF out with that move! They both better get back in the ring before either Crawen or Marcella gets a bye into the finals!

*The Referee makes an aggressive count as his way of telling the women to get back into the ring! Bat-Girl slides in through the bottom rope with X-23 slowly following. As X-23 climbs onto the apron, Bat-Girl grabs her by the hair to “assist” in her re-entering the ring. X-23 thanks her by driving her shoulder into Cassandra’s diaphragm!*

Bob: X-23 with a well-placed strike to the mid-section!

*With Bat-Girl doubled over, Talon dives through the ropes. She hits the canvas in a graceful dive roll that turns into a STIFF Vaulting double kick to the jaw of Bat-Girl, knocking her off her feet!*

Bob: Big kick to the chin there!
Ralph: That could be a momentum changer right there, Bob!

*Bat-Girl climbs to her knees only to be caught with a beautiful double kick from X-23! The Clone hits a flying roundhouse into a spinning heel kick within the same motion!*

Bob: Bat-Girl caught again with a hurricane-esque kick from her tag team champion partner!
Ralph: She can’t take too many unanswered kicks like that! She better do something! It’s like this Talon girl doesn’t tire!

*Cassandra and Laura rise to their feet once more… X-23 attempts to kick her opponents head off with a shuffle side kick! It misses by a mile as Bat-Girl ducks and snatches up X-23 around the waist! Running full, break neck speed, she PLOWS Laura back first into the turnbuckle, before performing a BEAUTIFUL back handspring to create distance! She charges X-23, who blocks by putting her feet in the way… Laura runs full speed into the double boots to the face, causing her to roll backwards! Following the reversal, Talon ascends to the top rope!*

Bob: Talon going up!
Ralph: She’s going too damn slow! Bat-Girl has already recovered!

*Cassandra flies into the air, roundhousing that SAME knee from earlier in the match! X-23 slips again and straddles the top turnbuckle to the sound of the groaning crowd! Bat-Girl backs up a few steps…*

Bob: Bat-Girl thinking about something here!

*She charges her opponent, flying into a handstand on the second turnbuckle! Her legs wrap around Talon’s neck!*

Ralph: She’s trying for the Handstand Hurricanrana off the top rope!

*X-23 leans as far back as she possibly can to prevent herself from behind thrown off the top rope and it WORKS! Bat-Girl can’t muster the strength needed to hit the Hurricanrana! X-23 quickly adapts, FLINGING Bat-Girl off the top rope with inhuman-like strength! Cassandra Cain hits the canvas chest first!*

Bob: Bat-Girl’s down!

*X-23 stands back up on the top rope before throwing all of her weight behind a SICKENING kick to the base of Bat-Girl’s neck! The Dark Knight is driven face first into the canvas with all of Talon’s weight on top of her!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!

Bob: JESUS CHRIST! She calls that the Downward Guillotine Kick!

*X-23 rolls her over, covering her partner’s body with her own!*

Ref: 1….. 2……. 3!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And it’s over THAT quick!! X-23 pulls it out after an Amazing match!!
Ralph: I.. I think we just saw the finals for the Women’s Tournament, tonight. o_o

Winner and Moving on to the Semi-Finals: Talon

*X-23 rolls out of the ring, followed by the ref who raises her arm in victory. Leaving her Partner unconscious on the canvas, X-23 slowly retreats up the aisle the victor.*

Bob: And with the end of the match, X-23 is the first to make it to the next round in women’s competition!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is a first round match in the UCTF Strong Man Tournament!

*”Halo” by Soil keys up, and out saunters the Former Three Time UCTF Intergalactic Champion, Raven Darc!*

Arzie: Making his way down to the ring, hailing from Hayborn, Scotland, he is RAVVEEEN DARRCCC!!

Ralph: How is it that Raven Darc gets put on the opposite side of the brackets as Inuyasha?!
Bob: You have to remember that him and Sasa Dark are no strangers to each other.
Ralph: Yeah… making Inuyasha go through the entire tournament just to get a shot at Raven.. And there’s no guarantee that Raven will make it to the finals anyway!

*As Raven climbs into the ring, “Counterfeit” by Limp Bizkit starts up next, bringing down the kid with the Omnitrix!*

Arzie: And his opponent, making his way down to the ring… He is BEENNN TENNNN!!!

Bob: I spoke to Ben 10 Earlier, and he plans on making a name for himself tonight in this tournament! Unfortunately for him, He’ll have to go through one of the toughest, tenured bastards we have on the roster to do so!
Ralph: Yeah, I bet he’s wishing he was facing Ric Austin in his first match up…

*Right as Tennyson goes to climb into the ring, Raven NAILS him in the side of the head with a thrust kick!*

Everyone: O_O!

Bob: OH GOD! Raven with a cheap shot before the match even starts!

*Raven drags the poor bastard halfway into the ring, with the other half still tangled up in the ropes! The former IG Champion snaps backwards, driving the frail kid head first on the canvas!*

Bob: MURDEROUS DDT!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Raven Darc vs. Ben 10

*Ben, acting on instinct alone, climbs back to his feet and walks right into Raven’s Savate kick! The Half-demon catches Ben as he falls backwards with a kick to the mid-section! Ben doubles over, and is snapped into a neck breaker in the center of the ring!*

Bob: Ok, so the bell ringing seems like it was just a formality!
Ralph: Yeah, Ben.. Make that name for yourself… o_o

*Raven plays up to the booing capacity crowd as Ben slowly stands back up. He grabs the young man by the hair, pulling him to the point where he’s almost bent completely backwards. Raven takes his arm and places it around the throat of Tennyson, while signaling that this match is over…*

Bob: I think Raven’s about to–

*Raven twists the poor bastard around, driving him face first into the canvas!*

Bob: ENDLESS WALTZ!! THAT’S IT!

*He rolls Ben over, nonchalantly covering the kid with his forearm pressed into the side of his face!*

Ref: 1……. 2……… 3!

Arzie: The Winner, and moving to the next round.. RAAAVEEENNN DARRRCCCC!!!

*The referee ATTEMPTS to raise Raven’s arm, but the big man snatches it away in disgust! He spits on Ben 10′s unconscious body before leaving the ringside area.*

Bob: Raven moves on to face either Lo-Ruhamah or Xiu Shields…
Ralph: I know why Ben’s theme song is counterfeit, now…
Bob: …I’m afraid to ask.
Ralph: Because he’s a fraud.
Bob: Well.. T..that was genius of Raven not even allowing him to use the Omnitrix. That kid isn’t worth a damn without it!

Winner and going to the Semi-Finals: Raven Darc

*”Let Me Be Your Armor” is already playing through the sound system, and out walks the FORMER Demon Huntress, the inappropriately dressed Nun herself!*

Ralph: HOLY PUPPIES!
Bob: ..
Ralph: get it? HOLYYY PUPPIES! IT CAN BE BOTH AN EXCLAMATION AND A NICKNAME!
Bob: …..

Arzie: Introducing first…making her way down to the ring… The Sexiest Nun in Anime City… MARRRCCEELLLAAAA GRAAACCCEEEE!!

Ralph: You got that right, Arzie!
Bob: There’s a special place in hell for both of you o_o
Ralph: Hey, with the way she’s dressed, I might see Marcella down there!
Bob: RALPH! >=|

*Metallica’s “2 X 4″ starts up!*

Arzie: And her opponent… being accompanied by her Pet Wolf Blackstorm… She is the Blood Elf, CRAAAWWEEENNN DARKZEEAAALLL!!

Ralph: And here comes Elf puppies!
Bob: Do you not remember what happened the last time you messed with that woman?
Ralph: meh. I’ve been kicked in the junk by Janne’s armor clad boot. Her’s didn’t do that much damage. e_e
Bob: so.. Do you think you can produce children?
Ralph: Who knows!

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Crawen Darkzeal vs. Marcella Grace

!!DING DING DING!!

*The match is officially underway!*

Bob: Here we go! Both women have something to prove here tonight. Darkzeal needs a win after an impressive loss over Gideon several weeks ago, while Marcella Grace had an equally embarrassing loss to Inuyasha back in May that has ruined her professional life outside the UCTF.
Ralph: oh God YES I remember that! Marcella was almost completely nude at the end of that match! Did I mention I love Inuyasha?!
Bob: many times since then.. Yes

*Crawen leaps across the ring, launching her attack on Marcella, courtesy her Dual Axes! The former Sword Master Champion blocks and parries the blades with her own Rapier, followed by a stiff kick to the mid-section! There is obviously a lot of anger behind the kick, as it’s strong enough to send Crawen tumbling backwards and upside down into her own corner!*

Everyone: O_O

Bob: What a kick!
Ralph: Does uhh.. Crawen count as a Demon?
Bob: I… don’t think so.
Ralph: lucky her o_o

*Crawen attempts to right herself in the corner as the demon hunting dashes across the ring towards her! The Blood Elf quickly slides out of the ring seconds before she’s blasted in the grill with the hilt of the nun’s blade! The fans respond with a chorus of boos!*

Bob: Wise move by Crawen, but the fans didn’t appreciate it!

*Marcella follows the bailed Crawen before giving chase around the ring!*

Ralph: She’s about to fall for the oldest trick in the book, isn’t she?
Bob: I.. I think she is!

*SURE ENOUGH, Crawen leaps into the ring with Marcella on her tail! The Blood Elf makes Marcella pay for it by delivering a stiff strike to the back of the head as Marcella attempts to re-enter the ring.*

Ralph: CALLED IT! >=|

*After staggering the former champion, Crawen gains momentum from the ropes as she scurries towards her opponent with the blood axes drawn! She goes into a baseball slide, targeting the nun’s knees with her next attack!*

Marcella: e_e!

*But the nun telegraphs the move by LEAPING into the air! The axes collide with nothing but air, leaving Crawen WIDE open! Gravity does the rest of the work, bringing Marcella down into a DOUBLE STOMP on Crawen’s face!*

Crowd: AUGGHH!!

Ralph: o_o.. That’s going to leave some bruising.

*Crawen’s face has opened up like a bag of chips, with a fountain of blood spewing from nose!*

Ralph: JOEY MERCURY!
Bob: Jesus Christ!!!

*While screaming in agony at the top of her lungs, Crawen connects a LUCKY kick to Marcella’s face that sends the nun through the ropes and to the outside of the ring! Marcella tumbles off of the apron before landing right on top of Blackstorm!*

Blackstorm: …grrrr…

Marcella: o_o!!

Ralph: That’s not good!

*The wolf INSTANTLY attacks Marcella without hesitation to another chorus of boos from the capacity crowd!*

Bob: Wow o_o That damn Wolf is doing most of the work for Crawen.. So even if she bleeds to death, she might win this match up! … can’t see what a win would do for her if she dies, though o_o.

*Fortunately, We won’t have to worry, because out to protect his master is none other than Clement, the demon hunting Doberman!*

Clement: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!

Ralph: OH SNAP! HERE COMES THAT DOG!

*Blackstorm tosses Marcella to the wayside before confronting Clement in the aisle way! Clement easily gives up a few dozen pounds at the LEAST to the big mutated Wolf, but he’s not backing down!*

Blackstorm: e_e
Clement: e_e…….

Ralph: God.. I wish it was that ferret that came out instead of Clement. I wouldn’t mind seeing that thing torn apart.

*The stand off between canines ends when Blackstorm rushes the smaller pup! Clement follows suit, sprinting towards the bigger wolf!*

Clement: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
Blackstorm: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF! >=|!!!!

!!POOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!

*The Doberman drives his head into the jaw of Blackstorm, sending the Wolf onto his BACK!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

*He leaves Blackstorm in his dust on his way to the ring, where he snags a bite into Crawen’s arm!*

Bob: CANINE FURY!

*Crawen, one hand trying to stop the bleeding from her face, and one leg trying to kick Clement off, turns towards Marcella, who then unloads an ENTIRE CLIP of bullets into her body!*

!!POP POP POP POP POP POP POP!!

Bob: CRAWEN FALLS VICTIM TO A BARRAGE OF GUNFIRE… AGAIN!

*The Blood Elf collapses into a heap, with the referee calling for the bell!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: IT’S OVER!

Winner and Moving to the Semi-Finals: Marcella Grace

Ralph: Marcella Grace vs. Talon! Marcella Grace vs. Talon!
Bob: Who’d think a Doberman could take a wolf, by the way. O_o Geez!

Arzie: AAAAANDDDD the Following is a Only The Strong first round match, where the winner will face Raven Darc in the Semi-Finals….

Have Mercy On Me…. a Sinner

*Walking down the aisle to The Theme to the Steve Wilkos Show… hell, with the crazed bald ex-cop Steve Wilkos IN TOW is Lo-Ruhamah!*

Arzie: Introducing first, being led to the ring by Steve Wilkos… He is the Unloved one… LOOOO-RUHAMAHHHHH!!!

Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!

Bob: And here comes the slimmer former World Champion!
Ralph: Slimmer? >=| What, did he lose 3 pounds? He’s STILL a fatass! And he’s with an even FATTER guy behind him!
Bob: He’s smaller than you are!
Ralph: I’M NOT AN IN RING COMPETITOR!
Bob: Regardless, Lo-Ruhamah has a ton to prove tonight! After that EMBARRASSING lose to Momoiro, you can guarantee he’s going to pull out all the stops tonight against–

-A LOADED GOD COMPLEX-
-COCK IT AND PULL IT-

*Bob’s interrupted by Fall Out Boy’s “Sugar, We’re Going Down,” bringing out Lo-Ruhamah’s opponent.*

Arzie: And his opponent, being accompanied by the giant assfuck keyblade… He is XXXXXXXIIIIUUUUU SHIIEEEEELLLLDDDDSSS!!!

Ralph: Really? We’re saying screw it and giving him a last name, now?
Bob: LOOKS LIKE!

*The Blue Hurricane springs into the top turnbuckle in a single bound before performing a corkscrew flip, landing beautifully in the center of the ring and RIGHT into a Holy Punch from Lo-Ruhamah! Xiu’s feet end up over his head as the lightweight fighter lands HEAD FIRST from the sucker punch!*

Bob: *SPITS OUT DRINK!*

Crowd: …o_o BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Ralph: *BURSTS INTO FITS OF LAUGHTER* YES! THAT’S THE LO WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE!

Only The Strong
Round 1
Lo-Ruhamah vs. Xiu Shields

!!DING DING DING!!

*As the bell unnecessarily sounds in the distance, Lo flings the little Xiu across the ring by the hair! When Xiu lands in the corner, Lo quickly unloads on Shields with a flurry of chi powered knife edged chops!*

Bob: And we told you Lo has something to prove tonight!
Ralph: He better watch out.. His fat ass will get winded real quick! >=|

Steve: KEEP ON HIM JONATHAN! DON’T LET UP! >=| DON’T LET UP YOU FAT BASTARD!

*One HARD chi slap to the face later, Lo takes off across the ring at full speed! Recovering off the ropes, The blubber filled body of Lo-Ruhamah miraculously takes flight as he goes for his famed “Rosary Kick!” Xiu however, rolls underneath the flaming, twirling ki kick a half second before his face is cratered in by it!*

Bob: BIG MISS BY LO!

*Mid-roll, Xiu handsprings off of the mat, corkscrews in midair and delivers a spinning heel to the back of Lo’s head! Ruhamah flies into the ropes chest first, as the blue BLUR that is Xiu bounces off of the corner adjacent to said ropes… Xiu spins in midair, NAILING a stiff front kick directly to Lo’s face! As Lo crashes to the mat, Xiu uses his face as a springboard to land a perfectly executed backflip.*

Ralph: o_o Lo’s in the market for another huge embarrassment here. Atleast Xiu can actually fight, though.

Steve: WHAT ARE YOU DOING LO?!!? GET UP!!!!!!!!!!

*Lo struggles to get his big ass up, and here comes Xiu BACKFLIPPING down on him from no where!*

Lo: O_O!

*The former World Champion swings a Holy Punch desperately, only for him to be parried and SPUN around by Xiu, who delivers a sick four side kick combination about the midsection, into an axe kick, into spinning heel kick, followed by a backflipping kick that takes BOTH men into the air, finishing with a drop kick in MID AIR that sends Lo crashing into the ropes! As Lo bounces off of the ropes, Xiu lands on his shoulders and hits a hurricanrana! The momentum from the ropes, in combination with the hurricanrana sends Lo sliding under the bottom rope and to the floor below!*

Ralph: D:!! JESUS CHRIST!
Bob: That kid might have better kicks than William Clarke x_x

Steve: o_o.. Uhh.. Son, you alright?

*As The host of the popular talk show checks on Lo-Ruhamah, inside the ring, sprints towards the ropes!*

Ralph: oh.. This won’t end well, will it?
Bob: No.. No it won’t!

*Xiu dives through the ropes, SOMERSAULTS in midair, springboards off of Steve Wilkos’ BACK before hitting Lo-Ruhamah with a shining Enseguri!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

Bob: Another big move there by Xiu!
Ralph: Is it time for you to scream “STOP THE DAMN MATCH?”
Bob: not yet…

*Xiu climbs into the ring with a big goofy smile on his face, as the referee makes his ten count…*

Ref: ONEEEEEEEE!!!! TWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Bob: At.. Atleast he’s letting Lo lose with some dignity. A countout most definitely isn’t a knockout like he had against Momoiro.
Ralph: This is sad. Lo can’t even get up!

*The referee’s count grows closer to ten as the fat, haagen daas infused body of Lo slowly climbs to the aprong. His fat sweaty palm grabs a hold of the bottom rope as he tries to pull himself up…*

Steve: GET UP LO! YOU’VE WORKED TOO HARD FOR THIS! >=| GET IN THAT RING AND BEAT THAT PUNKS LITTLE ASS!

*At the count of seven, Lo pulls himself up onto the apron.*

Lo: *GASPING FOR AIR* >_<!!!

*As Shields springs towards his opponent to knock him off of the apron, Lo manages to grasp the young man by his blue locks before DROPPING back to the floor blow! The end result sends Xiu throat first over the top rope! Xiu bounces THROAT FIRST off of the metal rod before flying all the way back across the ring! His little body twists in midair, sending him crashing face first on the canvas!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOHHHH O_O!!

*Lo throws himself into the ring at the count of nine!*

Bob: LO WITH THE STUN GUN ON XIU OUTTA NO WHERE!
Ralph: That old wiley bastard o_o

*Now back in the driver’s seat, The former World Champion focuses his dwindling chi energy into lifting Xiu Shield’s body off of the mat.*

Lo: .. ARRRGHHHH!!

*Now, with Xiu’s body at his eye level, Lo-Ruhamah contorts Shields’ with his “Surrender Your Soul” technique!*

Xiu: ARRRGHGHGHHH!!

Lo: ASK HIM REF! >=| ASK HIM NOW!

Ref: Xiu! DO YOU GIVE UP!?!?!

Xiu: n.. n.. NOOOOOO!!! >=|!!

*Now XIU begins to manifest his own blue, swirling ki energy! Lo-Ruhamah falls to one knee, his energy quickly being sapped by his own submission hold!*

Xiu: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

KRAAAAKAATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!

*Xiu overpowers Lo-Ruhamah, and in a flash of light, he breaks the hold! Both men are on the canvas as a result, with neither in a hurry to get up!*

Steve: YOU GOT HIM RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT HIM BOY! GET UP!! GET UP!

*Xiu is first to move, now favoring both his lower back and his throat… Lo-Ruhamah is only able to roll to his stomach as he tries to pull himself to his knees… Facing Xiu’s back, the Unloved one lunges toward him, hitting the most BLATANT ballshot in the history of mankind!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!

*Quickly wrapping his arms around Xiu, he hits a German Suplex, then a second, then a THIRD!*

Bob: Uh oh.. We’ve seen this before!

*Lo, straining with EVERYTHING he’s got produces more chi energy that forms a mist that infiltrates Xiu’s body!*

Bob: YES. Lo’s going for that paralysis finisher, the “Say Your Prayers!*

*Xiu’s body reacts violently, as Lo’s chi is attacking his nervous system! The Former World Champion spins Xiu around and hits a belly to belly suplex in the center of the ring!*

Bob: He hits the final suplex! Lo covers!

Ref: 1……. 2…….. 2.9999999999999!!!!

Bob: AND XIU KICKS OUT TO A HUGE OVATION!

*CRAWLING to the corner, Lo-Ruhamah begins his slow ascension to the top rope!*

Ralph: n..no way. THERE’S NO WAY HIS FAT ASS IS GOING UP THERE! >=|

*Ruhamah, now on the top rope struggles just to maintain his balance!*

Bob: Ruhamah is up top! Xiu is still immobile after The “Say Your Prayers” finisher!

*Using his final amount of strength, Lo begins to glow once more, before he leaps off the top rope with what has to be the WORST moonsault in the history of mankind! However, he CONNECTS!*

Bob: FINAL JUDGMENT! FINAL JUDGMENT! FINAL JUDGMENT!

*Lo is DEAD WEIGHT on top of Xiu! He’s SPENT!*

Ref: 1……. 2…….. 3!!!!!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Everyone: ……

*AND IT’S OVER. THAT’S RIGHT. IT’S FUCKING OVER E_E*

Everyone: ……………………

Arzie: uhh… The winner.. And advancing to the next round.. LOOOO-RUHAMAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Winner: Lo-Ruhamah

Bob: Well.. Well Lo wins! Lo with an amazing combination of finishers was able to put away the much.. Much fitter and talented Xiu Shields! He’s going to face Raven Darc in the next around!
Ralph: yeah.. A fresh as a daisy Raven Darc o_o Let’s see him pull out another miracle.

Xiu: >_< GET THIS FAT BASTARD OFF OF ME!

*Seriously. Lo is knocked the fuck out! Break out the smelling salts!*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a first round match in the Ultimate Massacre “Only the Strong” Tournament!

*”The Cursed Image” begins playing through the sound system to a major ovation from the crowd!*

Arzie: Introducing first, hailing from–GAH!!!

*The beautiful ninja warrior Taki appears RIGHT in front of The Ring Announcer, almost causing the poor guy to evacuate his bowels! Cherry blossoms flow beautifully to the ground around her as Arzie attempts to catch his breath.*

Ralph: *INHALES*
Bob: YEAH WE KNOW. NINJA PUPPIES!
Ralph: …
Bob: Tonight will be the first tine in my memory that Taki will be taking on THIS woman in one on one competition!

*”Rhythmic Hallucination” starts up next, bringing down the former Intergalactic Champion, Leona!*

Arzie: And her opponent, making her way down to the ring… She is the blue haired, stoic military warrior… LEEEOOONAAAAA!!!!

*The fans give Leona an equal yet opposite reaction as the stone faced female storms down the aisle!*

Bob: Well, no flash or theatrics from Leona as usual tonight! She however, does look very poised and prepared for battle!
Ralph: I’ve heard that after her encounter with The Grand Champion, and how CLOSE she came to victory, her resolve to fight has come back ten fold! Look what happened in that cage match a few weeks ago!

*Leona Heidern quickly rolls into the ring, before coming face to face with her opponent. While this may be the first time these two women meet in official UCTF competition, they know each other VERY well outside the squared circle!*

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Leona vs. Taki

!!DING DING DING!!

*The Ikari Warrior strikes Taki in the jaw straight away! Taki stumbles backwards into a horse riding position, before quickly performing a handspring to create distance from her opponent! Leona won’t allow Taki to breathe, however, as she launches herself across the ring with a downward right cross! Taki parries away the fist, only to be caught with a left hook! The punch plants her back first into the canvas.

Bob: Leona aggressively attacks at the beginning of the match!

*Leona charges the corner at full speed! Not the smartest idea, as Taki’s teleports out of the way, leaving nothing but sakura petals for Leona to collide with! A half breath later, Taki reappears behind Leona, introducing the former IG champion with a handstand kick to the butt of her chin! The kick is strong enough to lift Leona off the ground, leaving her a sitting duck for Taki’s STIFF kick to the chest! Leona crashes into the corner, while Taki uses that energy to cartwheel halfway across the ring!*

Ralph: That’ll break a sternum!

Leona: …
Taki: …

*The tension builds for a split second, before both Leona and Taki charge each other! Taki rolls on the canvas while Leona leaps above her. The Ninja’s upwards thrusting kick and The Leona Crush meet head on! They parry each other away, Leona blocks the water kick, then parries away Taki’s triple kick “Haste” combination. Taki spins around, going for a hook punch, only for her arm to be caught by Leona, who then judo throws the ninja over her shoulder! Taki flows through the throw, twisting her agile body into landing on her feet! She leaps, driving a dropkick into Leona, absorbs the impact by rolling backwards! She’s back to her feet in an instant, and we have a stalemate!*

Taki: …
Leona: ….>=)

*Or not! Taki looks down at her Dogi… Stuffed right between her ample bosoms is a …*

Taki: O_O!

!!KAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

*EARRING BOMB!*

Bob: LEONA connects with that damn bomb!

*The Dazed Taki can only see a shadowy figure flying towards her through the thick wall of smoke! Right as it clears, Leona NAILS her with a ki filled overhand chop to the head, followed by an equally as powerful uppercut! A blaze of Ki follows forming the letter “V” in the middle of the ring!*

Crowd: OOOOHHH!!!

Bob: V-Slasher by Leona!

*Leona covers Taki, and it’s academic!*

Ref: 1……. 2……… 3!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And it’s that quick folks!
Ralph: My God.. Leona got Taki to drop her guard for a split second and took advantage!
Bob: Leona.. With her renewed vigor heads into the semi-finals!

Winner: Leona

Yeah..Uh
In the name of Jesus
No weapon formed against me shall prosper
And every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn
For this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord
and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.
Amen

*”Lord Give Me a Sign” by DMX begins playing, bringing down the NRA fighter, Gideon!*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a first round match in the Ultimate Massacre “Only the Strong” Tournament! Introducing first, hailing from New York City, New York… He is The IMMORRTTALLLL GIDDEEEOOONNNNN!!

Ralph: He gets an awesome intro, now?
Bob: *SHRUG* The winner of this match-up will go on to face the winner of the Inuyasha/Xamot match up…
Ralph: Which isn’t fair at all. I mean, I know I’m supposed to be impartial but EITHER INUYASHA.. OR XAMOT?!
Bob: Do I have to remind you of what happened between Momoiro Ichigo and Lo-Ruhamah?
Ralph: …no… no you don’t.

*”Bombtrack” by Rage Against the Machine starts up next… Out walks the walking dead warrior from Ancient China…*

Arzie: …and his opponent… hailing from Beijing, China… He is the Undead Demon Pirate… SAAAOOOO FEEEENNNGGGG!!!

Ralph: And thank GOD this guy shut his mouth since his match against Nakita Dahaka!
Bob: I agree, even though he attacked Nakita a few weeks ago. He seems to still be a little sore about not vanquishing his opponent in his debut match an.. Uhh… keeping the name “Dragon” all to himself.
Ralph: …such a stupid fucking match.
Jeice: HEY! IT WASN’T THAT BAD, MATES!

*Bob and Ralph turn around to see Jeice, dressed in a cover all standing behind them.*

Bob: O_o Jeice. This is uhh.. Certainly random.
Jeice: Don’t mind me.. I’m just.. -_- here to clean out this trash can. Then I’ll be on my way.
Ralph: D:

*Back in the ring!*

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Gideon vs. Sao Feng

!!DING DING DING!!

*Both men slowly draw their swords in a slow, exaggerated fashion…*

Ralph: Good idea guys! Save as much energy for that ASS BEATING you’re going to receive in the second round!
Bob: Ralph! Come on!

*It’s a stare down of epic proportions as both men slowly circle each other in the center of the ring…*

Ralph: Ok I’m tired of this already. Someone win so you can get murdered in round two by either Inuyasha or Xamot! >=|
Bob: Ralph! Seriously!

*In a MAJOR fake out, Gideon quickly pulls out a firearm from his side before shooting from across the ring! It’s a great idea… if Sao Feng didn’t have the ability to create a shield out of chi! The Chi Wall sends the non lethal rounds ricocheting back towards Gideon who’s forced to side step! Perfect opportunity for Feng, who springs into attack!*

Sao: DIE!!

*Gideon barely parries away Sao’s killing strike, but he’s NOT fast enough to avoid Sao’s CHI flavored knife edge chop! Gideon is knocked off of his fucking FEET from the strike! Sao powers up once more, now sending a bolt of chi energy firmly into his opponent’s chest!*

Bob: That bolt of energy connects!

*Gideon flips backwards from the hit before landing on the top rope in a perfect three point stance! He’s no worse for wear, except for a singed trench coat. Gideon frowns through his dark shades, before drawing his sword backwards…*

Gideon: HAAAAA!!!

*He swings Nazarine, which shoots a thick stream of lightning directly into Sao! The Pirate manifests his Chi shield just in time, but this ain’t no simply bullet! The manifestation of God’s fury EASILY destroys the demon’s Chi Shield, sending the bolt of lightning coursing through Feng’s body! Feng and his sword separate as the now jolted up pirate lay spread eagled on the canvas!*

!!KARAKATHHHHOOOOOOOOMMM!!

Ralph: hmmm.. Yeah. Gideon’s blast is much better.
Bob: indeed.

*Gideon, still on the top rope, slowly turns around…*

Bob: And this does NOT bold well for Sao Feng!

*Gideon hits a picture perfect moonsault, crashing right on top of the ALREADY unconscious Sao Feng in the center of the ring!*

Bob: And he calls that the Avenging Angel! Gideon covers!

Ref: 1……. 2……… 3!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Ralph: shoulda RP’d -_-
Bob: Gideon almost makes it look too easy, as he’s now defeated both Crawen Darkzeal and Sao Feng in one on one action!
Ralph: Yeah.. He’ll get some competition in round two… TRUST me.

Winner: Gideon

*”Cruel Intentions” by Wicked Wisdom starts up, Bringing down the Amazonian figured Nakita Dahaka down the aisle!*

Ralph: woohoo! Snoo snoo!
Bob: We’ve reached the final match-up of the first round of the women’s tournament. The winner of this following contest will have the misfortune of having to take on Leona in the semi-finals!

Arzie: Introducing first, making her way down to the ring… she stands at six feet, four inches, and weighs in at one hundred eighty-five pounds… she is THE DARK PHENOM… NAKKIIITTTAAAA DAHAAAKKAAAA!!!

Fan: *yawn* e_e

*Nakita leaps over the top rope to enter the ring… Next up, “Koi Wa A La Mode” begins playing, and out runs Nakita’s opponent…*

Arzie: And introducing her opponent… hailing from Kyoto, Japan.. She stands at 140cm and weighs in at 35Kg… She also defeated a VERRRYYYY OBESE Lo-Ruhamah…

*Backstage*

Lo: *twitch* e_e

Arzie: MOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOIROOOOOOOOO ICHIGOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*Momo leaps into the ring, huge goofy, shit eatin’ grin in tow…*

Ralph: I’m… actually surprised Lo-Ruhamah didn’t kill himself following that embarrassing loss to this girl. I mean.. Everything about her just screams “JOBBER! DEATH AFTER ONE MATCH UP” but somehow she pulled it off.
Bob: Well to be fair to Lo.. He was so fat at the time, they probably had to saw his door way down just to fit him through the door…

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Nakita Dahaka vs. Momoiro Ichigo

!!DING DING DING!!

*Nakita Dahaka, OBVIOUSLY wanting to avoid the same embarrassment as the multiple time World Champion quickly lunges towards Ichigo in attempt to take her head off with a nasty Yakuza kick! Momoiro MIRACULOUSLY ducks the kick a mere centimeter before impact! She rolls underneath the much larger foe’s leg, and with a swift kick, she buckles Nakita’s standing leg RIGHT in the knee joint!*

Nakita: X_X!

Bob: The Speedster barely avoids having her face caved in! Nakita is down on one knee!
Ralph: It was like the hand of God himself pushed her out of the way of that kick o_o

*Ichigo leaps to the top rope, with a spectrum of colors following behind her… A split second later, she flies off the top rope, connecting a strike across the face of Dahaka with that DAMN RIBBON! It sends Nakita violently to the canvas like she’d just been hit with a murderous clothesline!*

Bob: Nakita’s down!

*Acting on what may be instinct alone, Dahaka finds herself back to her feet. NOT A GOOD IDEA! Momoiro sprnits by her, leaving a stream of brilliant colors flowing behind her. Speeding randomly around the ring, the colors fill the ring, leaving the large female wrestler dazed and confused as to just what the hell is going on. She finds out in the worst way. The beautiful spectrum inside the ring presents a bold contrast to the vicious beating of punches and kicks about the wrsetler’s body delivered by Ichigo!*

Bob: Ichigo unleashing on Dahaka!

*Finally, the smoke clears, with Dahaka completely motionless in the center of the squared circle! Standing above her is Ichigo, with her foot planted firmly into her breast bone!*

Ralph: You have GOT to be KIDDING me!

*The referee quickly slides into position!*

Ref: 1…….. 2……… 3!!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

*YEP. THAT’S IT. ICHIGO WINS AGAIN! SHE’S STILL UNDEFEATED!*

Bob: Momoiro Ichigo DESTROYS Nakita Dahaka in an impressive squash!!
Ralph: a..are you serious!? That was like an Ultimate Warrior circa 1989 match!
Bob: Momoiro’s impressive streak continues!

Winner: Momoiro Ichigo

*Backstage…*

Leona: e_e……….

Bob: And that wraps it up for the women’s first round! Talon will take on Marcella Grace and Leona will take on…… Momoiro Ichigo in the Semi-Finals.
Ralph: C..Can you imagine Momoiro Ichigo vs. Kunoi?
Bob: I………. no, no I can’t.
Ralph: WELL SHE’S TWO WINS AWAY FROM MAKING THAT A REALITY E_E

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a first round match in the Ultimate Massacre “Only the Strong” Tournament!

*The Arena suddenly goes completely dark following Arzie’s announcement, soon to be followed by Xamot’s theme song: “Forever Torment!” The Demon Warrior storms down to the ring obviously angry…*

Arzie: Introducing first… hailing from the Bamboo forests of Japan, He is the Demon Lord XAAAAMOTTTTT!!!

Bob: And out walks Xamot, who gets to face Inuyasha in the FIRST round of the tournament!
Ralph: Is there… something wrong with that?
Bob: Sasa Dark forces Inuyasha to go through the entire tournament just so he MIGHT get a measure of revenge against Raven Darc, Xamot gets to face the Intergalactic Champion in the first round!
Ralph: …so? o_o
Bob: RAVEN GOT BEN TEN IN THE FIRST ROUND! BEN TEN SUCKS! HE ALMOST LOST THE MATCH ON HIS WAY TO THE RING!
Ralph: now THAT’S true x_x

*While Raven Darc had a breeze in his first round match up, this next competitor will have to go through a former Champion to make it to the second round! “Hanyou Inuyasha” keys up, and out walks the Half-Breed, looking just as determined as his opponent.*

Arzie: And his opponent, hailing from the Feudal Era of Japan… He is both the UCTF Weaponmaster and Intergalactic Champion… The DOGGG DEMONNNNN… INUUUUYASSHAAAA!!!

Ralph: This should be a brutal brawl. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Xamot so pissed off than he is now.
Bob: Who can blame him?!

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 1
Xamot vs. Inuyasha

*Xamot’s building anger finally boils over, and he strikes the smaller half-demon to the ground with a lightning fast kick before Inuyasha can even climb into the ring! The boot to the head sends Inuyasha flying back to the outside of the ring seconds before the “official” bell sounds!*

Ralph: Ok, who didn’t see THAT one coming?!
Bob: The final first round match of this tournament is officially under way! Xamot returns the sneak attack by pummeling the champion with a vicious kick to the face!

*While Inuyasha attempts to regain his bearings on the outside, Xamot powers up to full capacity, transforming into his Seven Foot, Winged Demon form!*

Bob: And Xamot apparently isn’t playing games tonight!

*The Half-breed Demon instinctively reaches for Tessaiga, but he’s not fast enough as Xamot flies through the ropes, TACKLING the Intergalactic Champion off of his feet! Latching onto his opponent, Xamot barrels across the Open Air Arena with his opponent in tow! Evil Intentions fill The Bamboo Forest’s Demon as he prepares to drive Inuyasha through the COMMENTATOR’S tower!*

Bob: HOLY SHIT HE’S COMING THIS WAY!
Ralph: WE’RE GONNA DIE!!

*The Champ slips out of his opponent’s grip and positions himself behind Xamot. Locking on a face lock from behind, Inuyasha yanks backward, actually steering the flying demon away from the commentators tower seconds before impact and back towards the ring, albiet, VERY high in the Arena!!*

Ralph: IDIOT! >=|!

*Regardless of saving Ralph and Bob from certain doom, grabbing Xamot from behind proves not to be the smartest of ideas for the Intergalactic Champion. Xamot’s arches his back, and in the process, drives the razor sharp tips of his wings directly into Inuyasha’s chest! Reacting to the searing pain, Inuyasha loses his grip!*

Bob: Inuyasha’s freefalling towards the canvas!
Ralph: Not good! He’s a sitting duck!

*Xamot swings around before swooping towards the plummetting Half-Demon! Xamot powers up before directly hitting Inuyasha with the Mako Strike!*

Bob: Mako Strike connects!
Ralph: o_o If Inuyasha wore boots, that would have knocked him right out of them.

*The Champion somehow corrects himself on the way down before hitting the center of the ring in a three point stance. Covered in smoke from the ki blast he just received, Inuyasha growls angrily!*

Ralph: Inuyasha landed on his feet!

*The powerful dog demon leaps off the mat, flying several stories into the air! Meeting Xamot half-way, Inuyasha delivers a signature move of his own.*

Inuyasha: IRON REAVER–!!!

*Xamot quickly counters Inuyasha in his attempt to deliver the Iron Reaver Soul Stealer!*

Xamot: DARK WAVE!!!!

*A black wave of energy whips across Xamot’s body before pounding RIGHT into the airborn Dog Demon! Taking the fight right out of Inuyasha, the blast PUNISHES The Intergalactic Champion, driving him back first into the canvas with enough force to make the ring BUCKLE! The four corners of the squared circle all bend inward!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOHHHH!!

Ralph: o_o He didn’t land on his feet that time.

*Backstage, Raven Darc watches the action with a HUGE shit-eating, Jack Swagger-esq grin on his face! He’s clearly enjoying Inuyasha’s dismemberment!*

Raven: =D

*Who’s not enjoying it, though? INUYASHA! Dazed and confused, the Dog slowly stands back up to his feet. As he staggers slightly, the fans plead for him to turn around, as his opponent is plummeting towards him with a sadistic grin on his face!*

Bob: This does not bode well for our Intergalactic Champion!

*Inuyasha turns around and MIRACULOUSLY reverses the Demon Tackle with an over the arm, Judo throw that sends Xamot crashing head first into the nearest turnbuckle!*

Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

Ralph: MIRACLE THROW!
Bob: Indeed. Inuyasha’s gaurdian Angel was definitely on his side there!

*With Xamot down, Inuyasha stalks the demon in the corner. Xamot remains motionless, but his eerie smile never leaves his face.*

Inuyasha: IRON RE— o_o WHAT THE HELL?!

*The Dog Demon makes the error of stepping into Xamot’s shadow! The dark energy rapidly overcomes the Hanyou, before sealing Inuyasha up completely into Xamot’s VOID attack!*

Ralph: VOID!! VOID!! VOID!!
Bob: Xamot proves to be one step ahead of Inuyasha once again! Inuyasha now finds himself stuck in Xamot’s inpenetrable void!

*Xamot’s grin turns to laughter, as the Demon slowly takes to the sky once more. Surrounding his body in ki, Xamot begins to manifest tens, hundreds, THOUSANDS of Nile Stars through-out and above the Open Air Arena! The referee WISELY escapes!*

Bob: I think Xamot’s preparing a Nile Storm for our poor Intergalactic Champion!
Ralph: And Inuyasha is stuck with no way to defend himself!

Xamot: Shi-ne, Inuyasha! NILEEEEEEE STORRRRRRRRRRMMMM!!

*The thousands of powerful ki bolts all begin their descent towards the Half-Breed Demon! With only a second to spare, Inuyasha unsheaths Tessaiga for the first time in the match up! The blade of the mystical weapon glows blood red, before the Champion SHATTERS Xamot’s void with one strike!*

Everyone: O_O!

Ralph: OH SH-

*No more time left, Inuyasha covers up and EATS the Nile Storm head on! The Ring is instantly destroyed, along with the ringside area and the barriers that surround it! The first several rows of fans are knocked back from the impact!*

Bob: DIRECT HIT from the Nile Storm! MY GOD!
Ralph: o_o we just witnessed the birth of a plethora of lawsuits, too.

*The Smoke clears. Xamot lands on the floor of the Arena. Everything remains silent for the next few moments as the referee inspects the damage.*

Ref: …. RING THE B-

!!THOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*The referee is literally in the process of calling the match when Inuyasha’s hand punches through the rubble! More rocks are thrown to the side as The Intergalactic Champion slowly climbs his way out of the mountain of debris!*

Everyone: D:!!

*Backstage*

Raven: D:!!!

*Ringside!*

Inuyasha: That… That Nile Storm was alright. >_<

Bob: HE’S FINE AFTER THAT?!
Ralph: o_o I.. I think it stung a little but yeah. He’s fine.

*Xamot is PISSED! Now drawing every PARTICLE of ki he can, He places his palms together, facing Inuyasha! Again, the Referee runs as far and as FAST as he can! Crowd members behind Inuyasha get out of their seats and flee for their lives as well!*

Xamot: DIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! MEGAAAAAALAAAAAADOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!

*Inuyasha spreads his feet apart and drives his claws deep into the concrete! With both hands firmly locked around the hilt of Tessaiga, Inuyasha EATS the Sixty foot wide Shark-o-ki head on!*

Inuyasha: ARRRGGHGGHHHH!!

Bob: XAMOT’S ULTIMATE KI ATTACK!

Xamot: DIE!
Inuyasha: B-…B-… BAAACKLASHHH WAVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fans Behind Xamot: OH SH-

*The Tessaiga reverses the flow of Xamot’s ki energy, with a healthy dose of the WIND SCAR added to it, BULLSEYE-ING The Demon from the Bamboo woods! Xamot is taken off of his feet! He’s driven several hundred feet backwards into the stands!*

Crowd: *POPS!!!!!!!*

*The Intergalactic Champion, Inuyasha stands in the middle of the rubble, smoldering from Xamot’s attack, Victorious.*

Ref: RING THE BELL!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: Inuyasha Advances!!!
Ralph: I’ve never seen that much resiliance from anyone before in my life! >_< He took The Nile Storm AND The Megaladon and didn’t flinch! I… I hope Raven loses in the second round. o_o I don’t want him to have to face Inuyasha.

Winner and Advancing to the Semi-Finals: Inuyasha

Arzie: LADIEEESSS AND GENTLEMEN.. THE FOLLOWING IS AN ONLY THE STRONG SEMI FINAL MATCH….

*”We Don’t Care Anymore” by Story of the Year begins playing, bringing down the first competitor…*

Arzie: Introducing first.. Advancing to the second round by defeating her tag team partner Bat-Girl… She is one half of the UCTF Tag Team Champions… TAAAAAALLLOOOOOOOOONNNNN!!

Bob: Talon squeaked a victory by Bat-Girl in a match that could have honestly gone either way in the first round.
Ralph: Honestly, I thought she was done for until the final exchange in that match up!

*Next up, “Let Me Be Your Armor” kicks up…*

Arzie: And her opponent, earning her spot in the semifinals after decimating Crawen Darkzeal… She is the Demon Hunting nun and a vampire’s WORST nightmare… MARRRCELLAAAAA GRAAAACCCEEE!!!

Bob: Both women had hard fought victories in their respective matches. This is where things begin to get interesting!
Ralph: Hard Fought? Marcella got attacked by a WOLF, Bob! I’m surprised she’s still able to walk!

*Marcella stares across the ring at Talon who’s been motionless since entering the ring.*

Talon: e_e…

Ralph: and uhh… to be honest, I’m concerned with Nun-puppies well being. o_o She’s only good with a gun or a sword, right?
Bob: Well, she has HVPA trained hand to hand combat skills…
Ralph: Yeah.. Let’s hope she remembers that shit. Talon doesn’t look mentally stable.

*Ralph is right on this one! As soon as the bell sounds…*

!!DING DING DING!!

*X-23 charges Marcella like a dog responding to Pavlov’s bell!*

Ralph: OH SHIT! MARCELLA, RU–

*However, Marcella catches X-23′s arm and JUDO tosses her over her head! X-23 hits the canvas so hard, the ENTIRE ring shakes!*

Everyone: O_O!

Ralph: D:!
Bob: I.. Uhh.. Think she’ll be alright against Talon.

Only The Strong
Round 2
Talon vs. Marcella Grace

*Back to her feet, X-23 charges again! Marcella sidesteps, shoving Talon in the small of her back towards the ropes. She bounces back, right into the waiting arms of the Nun, who tosses her over her head with a hiptoss! X-23 contorts her body midair, landing PERFECTLY on her feet, before delivering a lightning fast dropkick to the chest! Marcella flies back into the ropes! As the ropes shoot her back towards the ring, X-23 leaps onto her shoulders, before quickly throwing herself backwards with the leg scissors take over! Marcella is sent flipping forward through the move, but twists HER body mid-air to land on her feet! When X-23 turns around, she’s ALMOST surprised to see her opponent still standing! She charges, only to be tripped up with a drop to hold! Seconds before her face meets mat, She rolls through, before kipping back to her feet!*

Marcella: o_o!
Talon: …

Bob: Talon showing amazing agi–

*Talon charges and is caught with a SECOND Drop toe hold, THIS one connecting perfectly!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

Bob: Nevermind!
Ralph: Marcella is in rare form o_o
Bob: Especially for someone who just got mauled by a Wolf?
Ralph: Exactly!
Bob: Well thus far she’s scouted everything The Tag Team Champion can throw at her!

*Marcella charges her opponent, and taking a page out of her business associate (two steps away from being lover, BTW e_e) Lo-Ruhamah, she WALKS up X-23′s body!*

Bob: Heavenly step kick?!!?

*It would be, if Talon weren’t to DODGE the kick! Now off balance, Marcella is SHOVED into the corner! However, Marcella catches catches herself by grabbing onto the ropes, and instead, thrusts herself backwards, leveling Talon in the face with a nasty heel kick!*

Bob: rebound kick!

*That kick, AMAZINGLY didn’t knock out X-23 on contact, but it is successful in staggering the clone! Marcella lunges towards her opponent to capitalize, but is quickly reversed with an over the head Judo arm throw!*

Ralph: BAM!!
Bob: Oooh!! NASTY toss there by Talon! Obvious payback for the beginning of this match up!

*Talon throws Marcella into the corner by the throat, and let’s the woman of God have it with a flurry of violent, and blazing fast boxing strikes to the body! X-23 draws back, hoping to put Marcella out to pasture with a haymaker, but she misses WIDE! Grace somehow rolls out of the way and ends up behind the Clone!*

Bob: Talon in trouble!

*Talon turns round RIGHT as Marcella walks up her body, THIS time NAILING the Heavenly Step Kick!*

Ralph: Got her!
Bob: indeed! Marcella looks like her light is dimming!

*She stumbles out of the corner, right into the waiting arms of Marcella, who hits a BEAUTIFUL Northern Lights Suplex!*

Ref: 1…… 2……. 2.99999999999!!

Bob: Not quite!
Ralph: .. I bet Lo taught her that wrestling move.. Among others…
Bob: Ralph! She’s a damn Virgin!
Ralph: You think that’s helping me think less sexual about her???

*On the way back to their feet, the resilient Talon suddenly strikes Marcella in the chin with a NASTY boxing uppercut! Marcella flies into the corner! She stumbles into the corner, where X-23 hits her OWN version of the Northern Lights Suplex!*

Bob: Talon responds with her own Northern Lights!

Ref: 1.. 2….. 2.999999999!!!

Bob: And the same result!
Ralph: hey! That’s kinda disrespectful of her!

*Both women waste no time pulling themselves back to their feet. In a show of desperation by both women, they leap into the air, nailing each other with a tandem spinning heel kicks to the skull!*

Crowd: OOOOHHH!!

Ralph: Wow. Great Minds.
Bob: Both of those kicks were as clean as can be. Let’s see who wants it more! Who can get up from this?!

*The referee aggressively counts towards the magic number of ten, as both women fight to stand back to their feet after several brain jarring blows that they’ve sustained!*

Ralph: What happens if neither gets up?! WHAT IF MOMOIRO ICHIGO BEATS LEONA AND NEITHER OF THESE WOMEN GET UP?! SHE’S THE #1 CONTENDER TO THE GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
Bob: Calm Down, Ralph! Talon is back up to her feet!

*X-23 strikes first with a Roundhouse! It’s blocked! Marcella responds with a roundhouse of her own! It TOO is blocked! Talon drives a knife edged chop into Marcella’s chest, followed by a stiff punch to the face! She spins, attempting to take Marcella’s head off with a spinning backhand, but The Nun ducks! That error costs X-23, who is hit in the face with a POWERFUL roundhouse to the face! Marcella spins through the kick and comes around with a spinning heel!*

Bob: TWO BRUTAL KICKS BY MARCELLA!

*Marcella finishes with a third kick to the chest, sending Talon into the ropes! When Talon rebounds from the ropes, Marcella attempts another Heavenly step kick. X-23 ducks and responds with a leg scissors take over!*

Bob: Marcella goes to the well once too many!

*Now on her hands and knees, Marcella falls victim to X-23 who vaults OFF of her back and uses that to spring herself to the top rope!*

Everyone: WHOA!

Ralph: OH NO!
Bob: This is the same move she defeated her tag team partner with!

*X-23 throws herself off of the top rope with that DEADLY kick aimed at the base of Marcella’s skull. Seconds before the kick connects, Marcella rolls out of her way! X-23 crashes onto the canvas off balance, leaving a precious opening for The Former NRA Champion!*

Bob: Marcella avoids the kick!

*It’s now or never for Marcella, with Talon off balance, she charges toward the cloned mutant! The fans, now on the edge of their seats watch the Demon Hunting nun swinging a wild right haymaker towards X-23. It doesn’t connect! X-23 blocks the strike and parries Marcella with such force that it spins the nun around 360 degrees!*

Bob: Not good for Marcella!

*Talon has enough time to prepare a BIG right roundhouse aimed at Marcella’s skull. The nun manages to avoid the kick!*

Bob: Marcella Do–

*However, using the SAME momentum from the roundhouse, Talon, now with her back to Marcella sends a FIERCE left heel DIRECTLY on the butt of Marcella’s chin, LEVELING the Nun!*

Ralph: CHRIST!
Bob: Marcella’s down!

*Grace crashes lifelessly to the canvas, COMPLETELY unconscious! Grabbing the palm of the nun’s hand, the referee checks the downed fighter.. But it is of no use.*

Ref: RING THE BELL, SHE CAN’T CONTINUE!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: Is it? YES. IT’S OVER! TALON ADVANCES TO THE FINALS!
Ralph: nooo! =( Nun puppies!

*”We Don’t Care Anymore” starts up again as the referee quickly raises X-23′s hand in air in victory, before immediately going back to the unconscious nun.*

Winner and Advancing to the Finals: Talon

Bob: Talon lured Marcella in with that feint right roundhouse before completely obliterating her with the left heel! What a match-up!
Ralph: Are you kinda.. Hoping that Momoiro Ichigo makes it to the finals just so she can face X-23 and get eviscerated?
Bob: I..uhh.. Try to stay impartial to these types of things o_o

Arzie: And the Following is a semi-final, Only The Strong Tournament Match-up!

*The night carries on with Soil’s “Halo,” Bringing down the three time Intergalactic Champion!*

Arzie: Introducing first.. Making his way down the aisle… He advanced by decimating Ben Tennyson in his first round match…

Ralph: Hell, Arzie, show the replay! The match was so fast we can show the entire thing before Raven arrives to the ring itself!

Arzie: He is the former three time Intergalactic Champion… RRRAAAAAVVVEEENNN DARRRRCCCC!!!

*Once Inside the ring, The Steve Wilkos Theme starts up again!*

Arzie: Aaaandd his Opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Steve Wilkos… he defeated Xiu Shields to advance, THE UNLOVED ONE, LOOOOOOO-RUHAMAHHHHHHH!!

Ralph: I’m surprised he’s able to waddle down the ring after almost killing himself against Xiu >=| Speaking of which, has it been confirmed if Xiu has a shattered rib cage from that fatass’ miracle moonsault earlier?
Bob: Uhh.. No, I don’t think so.

*All party members are inside the ring, with Steve Wilkos staring a hole through Raven!*

Steve: e_e Isn’t that the sicko who ties up women?
Lo: The hell if I know! >=|
Steve: HEY, RAVEN, YOU LIKE TYING UP WOMEN!?
Raven: uhh.. o_o…

Ralph: He’s gonna say it.. HE’S GONNA SAY IT!
Bob: …

Steve: GET OFF MY STAGE! >=|

Crowd: *POPS!*

Ralph: YES! YES HE SAID IT! God I love that guy!
Bob: O_o well he has a screw loose. We’re not in Chicago tonight. Besides, if he knew some of Lo’s extra-curricular activities with cats.

!!DING DING DING!!

Only The Strong
Round 2
Raven Darc vs. Lo-Ruhamah

Raven: so uhh.. O_o you gained a few…
Lo: e_e
Raven: and.. Nice… sweat suit?
Lo: ….
Raven: and all over a belt?
Lo: …>=|!!

*UH OH! Wrong choice of words for Raven! The World Championship is NOT “Just a belt” to Lo-Ruhamah, who held the title for a record NINE MONTHS during UCTF’s hayday!*

Lo: ARRRGHHH!!

*Lo and Raven lock up wrestling style, with Lo using all of his strength to push the larger of the two into the corner!*

Raven: Whoa whoa whoa! O_o Calm down! you.. You really need to get laid, don’t you?
Lo: FUCK YOU!

*Ruhamah manages to push Raven a half a step back before The half demon easily FLINGS Lo across the ring like a small child! Lo hits the canvas and rolls into the corner like an armadillo! Raven playfully flexes his bicep to the stunned crowd.*

Ralph: Yeah, not smart trying to overpower Raven… especially when you’re still in tubbyville.

Crowd: OOOOHHH!!

Raven: ^_^ And that’s FATASS Lo I just tossed!

*Raven’s smile fades as he switches back into full business mode! A running thrust kick finds it’s way across Lo’s fat jowls in the corner! As he collapses into a sitting position, Raven unleashes several more stomps to the chest!*

Steve: GET UP JONNY! GET UP AND TAKE IT TO THAT BONDAGE FFFFREAK! >=|

Bob: Raven unleashing some serious punishment on Lo, here!
Ralph: I think Steve running his mouth on the outside is doing nothing to help his guy right now.

*Or not! Suddenly, from his prone state, Lo-Ruhamah begins to fire back with blows to the gut that are DANGEROUSLY close to the belt region!*

Steve: THAT’S RIGHT! HIT HIM AGAIN!!

*Gaining a second wind, Lo begins to rise from the corner as his blows to the bread basket build strength, culminating with a HOLY PUNCH!*

Steve: THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT, LO!

*Lo hits the ropes, torpedoing himself head first into the wounded gut area of his opponent! Raven somersaults from the impact!*

Bob: LO WITH A BIG MOVE!
Ralph: That wasn’t pretty at all o_o
Bob: Not at all, but it’s getting the job done right now!

Steve: DON’T LET UP ON HIM! PUT HIM IN THE MASTERLOCK!

Everyone: O_o?

*The half demon rolls out of the ring to separate himself from Lo-Ruhamah…*

Steve: HEY, COWARD! WHERE YOU GOING COWARD?!?! GET BACK IN THE R–MPHHHH!!

!!POP!!

*Without warning, Raven sends Steve flying with a Savate kick that lands right on the chin! The ex-marine spins 180 degrees from the impact of the kick, slamming his big bald dome into the steel steps a few feet away.*

Ralph: OH GOD NO! STEVE!
Bob: I.. Uhh.. He actually had that coming o_o

*Raven FINALLY shuts up the loud mouth from Chicago, but the decision to take his eyes off of his REAL opponent proves to be detrimental! Ruhamah flings his tub of lard body over the top rope in the worst looking tope in the history of mankind, but it CONNECTS!*

Bob: Lo-Ruhamah connects with the Suicide Dive!
Ralph: D: Raven’s been crushed!
Bob: The former World Champion now throwing Raven Darc back into the ring! Will we see a second miracle here tonight?! Will Lightning strike twice?!

*Lo climbs to the top rope, daring to attempt another moonsault, this time to the supine Raven Darc! He throws himself backwards, somehow making it a full turn before NAILING the Final Judgment Moonsault!*

Bob: HE CONNECTS! HE CONNECTS!

*Lo covers!*

Ref: 1……… 2………..

*a NANO second before The referee’s hand slams down to the canvas for the three, Raven throws the tip of his boot over the bottom rope, breaking the count!*

Everyone: D:!!!!!!!!!

Bob: Raven gets his foot on the rope at the LAST possible moment!!!
Ralph: Lo, you better think of something, and do it quickly!

*Quickly lifting Raven back to his feet, Lo-Ruhamah hastily locks Raven into a waist lock from behind. He throws all of his weight backward, slamming Raven into a German Suplex! He keeps the move locked, slowly turning and pulling Raven’s body back up!*

Lo: ARRRGHHH!!!

!!BAM!!

*He hits a second suplex, and again, rolls with it, pulling himself and Raven back to their feet.*

Raven: >=|! NO!

*The Half demon fights back, elbowing Lo-Ruhamah with ferocity! The hold slips and Raven breaks free. However, the moment he turns around, Ruhamah has a surprise for him!*

Raven: ARRRGHHH!!
Lo: AAHHHHHHHH!! >=|!!

!!FLOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*Lo’s entire body burns as bright as the Sun for a split second, blinding the Half-demon! Raven INSTANTLY goes down to the canvas, writhing in pain, while Lo, know on his knees, tries to regain composure!*

Bob: LIGHT FOR THE BLIND! But can Lo-Ruhamah capitalize?!
Ralph: NO! He’s about to have a heart attack as is!

*Lo-Ruhamah manages to climb to his feet first and grabs Raven’s wrist. Immediately, twists Raven around for the Purgatory Whip…*

Bob: Raven’s being twi–WAIT!

*Raven snaps out of the wrist lock and spins Lo back around. Now facing each other, Raven quickly SNAPS the former World Champion to the canvas face first!*

Ralph: JESUS!
Bob: ENDLESS WALTZ! OUT OF NO WHERE!

*Raven quickly covers, STILL partially blinded from The “Light for the Blind” as the ref slides into position.*

Ref: 1…….. 2……….. 3!

*And it’s over!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Ralph: Welp.. The Cinderella story ends for Lo…
Bob: Raven hits his devastating finisher out of thin air and is the first to advance to the finals! Who will he be facing later tonight?! Gideon or Inuyasha?!

Winner and Advancing to the Finals: Raven Darc

Arzie: The following is a SEMI-FINAL match in the UCTF “Only The Strong” WOMEN’S Tournament!

*”Rhythmic Hallucination” starts up…*

Arzie: Introducing first.. On her way down that aisle.. LEEEEOOONAAAA!!!

*Leona looks even MORE determined than in her earlier appearance!*

Ralph: Come on Leona! Don’t get embarrassed! Don’t let it be like.. The NNNN match o_o
Bob: x_x the night she doesn’t want anyone to remember. God, for her sake I hope not as well, Ralph.

*Leona climbs into the ring and that’s it! She faces the ring and doesn’t BUDGE. She’s in pure statue form! Next up, “Koi Wa A La Mode” kicks up! Out SKIPS Leona’s opponent, Momoiro Ichigo! Her smile is still there, as she has NO concern over this next match!*

Arzie: AND HER OPPONENT.. WELCOME BACK MOMOIROOOOO ICHIGGGOOOO!!!!!!!!

*Ichigo bounces to the top rope and raises that damn rainbow spewing ribbon high above her head!*

Bob: Here we go… The winner will face Talon in the finals of this tournament! Who will it be?!

Only The Strong Tournament
Round 2
Leona vs. Momoiro Ichigo

!!DING DING DING!!

*The Speedster leaps off the top rope and CONNECTS with the Ribbon across the skull of Leona out of no where!*

Bob: THE RIBBON CONNECTS!
Ralph: OH NO! OH NONONONO!

*Leona staggers from the attack, leaving Momoiro to begin her caffeine fueled sprinting around the ring! All the colors of the rainbow begin to fill the ring again!*

Ralph: Don’t tell me this is going to end the same way! And in HALF the time it took her to beat Nakita?!

*Through the confusion of colors she’s created in the ring, Momoiro springs through the air towards Leona with a flying kick, but she’s SPEARED out of the air by the former Intergalactic Champion! Heidern pins Momoiro to the ground and delivers several VICIOUS UNSHIELDED strikes to Ichigo’s face! Pulling Momo back to her feet, Leona takes a half step back, before NAILING her in the face with a stiff roundhouse! Momoiro collapses like a tree before crashing into the corner!*

Crowd: OOOOH!! O_O

Bob: JESUS!!

*Charging towards the corner like an out of control locomotive, Leona delivers a NASTY kick to the side of Momoiro’s face! The kick is so powerful it turns Ichigo’s body completely! Now, half of her body is stretched over the bottom rope, exposing her head and shoulders to the apron! Leona slowly leaves the ring. Now standing on the apron, she delivers an AXE kick to the back of Momoiro’s head, almost crushing the poor girl’s skull between her leg and the apron!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOH!!

Ralph: o_o..h..how did I ever think that this would go any other way?
Bob: Ref!! HOW MUCH MORE IS HE GOING TO ALLOW!?

*Leona drags Momoiro’s body back into the center of the ring, before delivering blatant, and repeating kicks to the groin! She follows this with a SOCCER kick to the face! Momoiro bounces off of the canvas into a kneeling position, where Leona then delivers a VERY low arm slash that knocks the girls feet from under her. In the same breath, Leona delivers a upper striking kick that juggles Momoiro into the air! This is followed by several stiff strikes in midair, followed by her “X-Calibur” technique!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ralph: D:
Bob: …..

Leona: …….
Ref: ……….

*Leona drops a Earring bomb that INSTANTLY explodes upon contact! Momoiro’s already lifeless body flies out of the ring and into the security railing on the outside! The referee FINALLY intervenes, calling for the match to cease!*

Bob: It’s about FUCKING time Referee!
Ralph: o_o how could I think..
Bob: Momoiro had us all fooled Ralph. But her luck ran out when she faced Leona Heidern! My GOD!

Winner and Moving to the Finals: Leona

Arzie: The following is a semi-final match in the UCTF Only The Strong Tournament…

Yeah..Uh
In the name of Jesus
No weapon formed against me shall prosper
And every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn
For this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord
and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.
Amen

*DMX’s “Lord Give Me a Sign” plays once more, bringing down the ex-new york police officer!*

Arzie: Making his way down to the ring, advancing by defeating Sao Feng with the “Avenging Angel” He is known as the Holy Redeemer… Welcome GIIIDDDEEOOONNNNN!

Bob: Gideon finished off Sao Feng in his first round match up, but he is about to take on a totally different beast here in a few moments!
Ralph: yeah… His theme song is about Christianity… He’s going to need Jesus whenever his opponent gets his hands on him…

*That ominous message by Ralph is accompanied by The half-breed’s theme song, “Hanyou Inuyasha!” The dog demon walks through the curtain, slowly making his way down the aisle.*

Arzie: And his opponent, on the way to the ring…. he advance to the semi-finals by defeating Xamot with his patented “BACKLASH WAVE” he is the Current UCTF Weaponmaster AND Intergalactic Champion…. He is the Dog Demonnnnn… INNNUUUUUYASSSHHHAAAAAA!

*The Double Champion hops into the ring, drawing his Tessaiga upon arrival. Gideon frees Nazarene from it’s Sheath and both men are prepared to battle!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Only The Strong
Round 2
Inuyasha vs. Gideon

*Gideon fires off a massive bolt of electricity from Nazarene into the Champion, who leaps out of it’s path. As Inuyasha comes down, Gideon catches him with a big kick to the mid-section! He tumbles backwards from the kick, rolling back to his feet just as Gideon attempts to take his head off with his blade! Tessaiga collides with Nazarene as Inuyasha overpowers the Holy Redeemer, before kicking him clear across the ring! Gideon flips backwards and lands perfectly on his feet.*

Bob: Gideon not afraid to go right after the Intergalactic Champion!
Ralph: That’s about his only strategy… that or somehow trick Inuyasha to count himself outside the ring o_o Cause he’s not going to knock out Inuyasha. He’s not going to pin him, and he’s damn sure not going to make him submit!
Bob: And you talk about me being biased!
Ralph: I’m not! I’m being completely objective here. There’s no chance in hell Inuyasha’s going to lose this match!
Bob: Remember when Team Rocket won the Tag Team Ch–
Ralph: SHUTUP! >=| THAT WAS TEN YEARS AGO! SHUTUP!

*Charging towards Inuyasha, The Holy Redeemer drives his blade into the canvas! The bolt of energy shoots into the mat, springing Gideon into the air and over the head of Inuyasha! The dog demon turns to counter, but only manages to catch the laces of Gideon’s boot across the face! As his opponent sails from the kick, Gideon catches his prey in mid-flight with a bolt of lightning from his sword! The champ lands on his shoulders, and a split second later kips back up to his feet! Unfortunately for him, he’s now flying right into the flying foot of Gideon! He connects with the “Angel’s Talon” round house, sending the dog demon upside down!*

Bob: BIG ROUNDHOUSE KICK from Gideon!
Ralph: Hey.. What the hell? >=| He actually connected twice!
Bob: Were you expecting this match to be over already?
Ralph: YES! I want this freaking card to be over! I’ve got stuff to do!

*Upside down, Inuyasha shows impressive agility by springing off of his hand back to his feet.*

Inuyasha: *Grrr* Alright. Play time is over!

*Gideon comes at the Champion with another bolt of lightning… THIS time, Inuyasha deflects the attack back into the Holy Redeemer with the Sheath of Tessaiga! Gideon, with a sudden need to avoid his own attack, leaves himself open for a MASSIVE kick from the barefooted half demon that connects against his nose!*

Bob: Inuyasha fires back!

*Now it’s the Intergalactic Champion’s time to play! The brute from Feudal Japan rushes Gideon, keeping the pressure on with several vicious strikes with Tessaiga! To his credit, Gideon manages to block the strikes of Tessaiga with Nazarene for a few moments, until Inuyasha’s impressive strength finally manages to overpower and overwhelm! Nazarene is knocked from Gideon’s arms, leaving the Holy Redeemer unarmed!*

Ralph: WHOOT! Finish him off, kid!

*Gideon dashes backward into the corner as Inuyasha leaps in with his claws drawn!*

Inuyasha: IRON REAVER, SOUL STEALER!!!

*Gideon rolls to safety, leaving Inuyasha’s claws to rip through the turnbuckle like George The Animal Steele! It’s a perfect opportunity for the Redeemer to unleash THE TWINS™! Gideon unloads his babies on into the dog demon! Not even HE’S fast enough to block them all! Tessaiga is knocked from his palm, leaving the swordsman almost naked!*

Inuyasha: … >=|!

Bob: Gideon has Inuyasha on the ropes.. AGAIN!
Ralph: Yeah, Seriously! What the hell?!
Bob: Come on Ralph! Gideon glided through his match while Inuyasha had a hell of a match against Xamot!
Ralph: SO WHAT?!?!!?

*Without any other plan, Inuyasha simply RUSHES Gideon, taking every single non-lethal round head on like a man!*

Inuyasha: ARRRRGGHHHHH!!

*Not the smartest plan! Gideon kicks him in the gut, and quickly hits a massive DDT!*

Ralph: *THROWS HIS HANDS UP* WHAT !?!?
Bob: HOLY REDEMPTION by Gideon! I think Inuyasha may be unconscious from that!

*Gideon, looking for a miracle, climbs to the top rope!*

Bob: Gideon can make himself famous right here if he defeats Inuyasha!
Ralph: I should have put money on this.. Shouldn’t I?

*Gideon launches himself, hitting a picture perfect moonsault in the center of the ring!*

Bob: AVENGING ANGEL! AVENGING ANGEL! AVENGING ANGEL CONNECTS!

*The Ref slides into position!*

Ref: ON–

*And Inuyasha LAUNCHES Gideon off of him before the count of one!*

Crowd: D:!!!

Bob: AND NOT EVEN A ONE!
Ralph: o_o holy crap.. He beat Sao Feng with that!

*BUT NOT INUYASHA! Frantic, Gideon searches for Nazarene as Inuyasha slowly climbs back to his feet…*

Inuyasha: Iron Reaver… >=| SOUL STEALER!

*Inuyasha pounces from across the ring, and Gideon just BARELY manages to get his sword between him and the sharp claws of his opponent! Bad news for the half-breed, because Gideon then charges his blade up with as much lightning energy as he can muster!*

!!KAAAAATHOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Bob: GIDEON WITH THE MASSIVE BOLT OF ELECTRICITY!

*On his back, and without his sword to protect him, Inuyasha is helpless as Gideon shoots through the air toward him! The blade of Nazarene is charged full of lightning energy! Seconds before impact, Inuyasha matches to put his sheath in the path!*

!!KATTTTTHOOOOM!!

Bob: Inuyasha blocks what would have no doubt been the finishing strike!

*Channeling more electrical energy through is blade, Gideon attempts to put the finishing touches into Inuyasha and maybe the upset of 2008!*

Gideon: ARRRGHHH!!!!
Inuyasha: RRRARRRGGHH!! YOU’RE STRONG.. I’LL GIVE YOU THAT!

*Inuyasha however, the MUCH stronger of the two, drives his foot into Gideon’s rib-cage!*

Inuyasha: But I’m INUYASHA! ARRRRRGGHHH!!

*With a fierce thrust, Gideon is flung across the ring! Inuyasha quickly rolls backwards, and recovers Tessaiga.*

Bob: The Intergalactic Champion has managed to fend off Gideon, and now has Tessaiga back!
Ralph: I was.. Actually starting to get worried there for a second…

Inuyasha: Alright. Let’s say we finish this?
Gideon: …Let’s.

*A column of lightning suddenly falls from the heavens and into Nazarene! Gideon is fully charged!*

Bob: I.. I think they’re about to settle this one!
Ralph: Gideon, there’s not enough lightning in Asgard o_o.. Don’t do it!

Gideon: ..HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

*Gideon leaps off the top rope!*

Inuyasha: ………KAZEEEEEEEEEEE NOOOOOOO KIZUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

*The Wind Scar from Tessaiga meets with Nazarene’s Holy Blast, emitting a blinding, white light of energy throughout the arena! The crowd have to turn from the attack.. As the roar of thunder subsides, everything is quiet for a few moments…*

Bob: Both attacks collided! What happened?!

*The smoke begins to clear, and the red hue of Inuyasha’s jacket is the first to appear. He stands above The unconscious Holy Redeemer.*

Inuyasha: heh. e_e.

Ref: x_X.. R-ring it.

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: It’s over! Inuyasha’s now in the finals against…
Ralph: Raven Darc. o_o
Bob: This.. This should be epic!

Winner and Advancing to the Finals: InuYasha

*As Gideon is helped to the back to a nice ovation from the crowd, “We Don’t Care Anymore” by Story of the Year starts up! Down walks one half of the tag team champions, as focused and stoic as ever after surviving two BRUTAL matches to make it into the finals!*

Bob: And we’re not wasting any time here it seems! Looks like we’re going to have the Women’s finals right now!
Ralph: Not good for Inuyasha… I’m sure he wants this match up to last in order to recover from his close match up with.. Gideon e_e..
Bob: You’re right.. The faster this match up is, the more it favors Raven Darc!

*The moment X-23 climbs into the ring, “Rhythmic Hallucination” keys up.. Out walks Leona Heidern, the stone faced killer of the Ikari Warriors! After her performance earlier tonight, the fans are too afraid to jeer!*

Bob: And here comes the woman who might as well ended the career of Momoiro Ichigo earlier tonight!
Ralph: That was one of the most brutal beatings in the history of the UCTF. SERIOUSLY. She has certainly grown more sadistic over the years!
Bob: More sadistic than blowing up her boyfriend?
Ralph: .. ok. Point made.. Point made.. She’s always been a sick bitch!

*Both women are now inside the squared circle, and having the unfortunate luck to stand in between them is Arzie, the ring announcer.*

Arzie: Lu-lu-..Ladies and Gentlemen… the following contest is the FINAL MATCH in the Women’s bracket of the Only The Strong Tournament! The winner will not only become this year’s OTS Champion, but they will also named the Number 1 contender to The UCTF Grand Championship…

Crowd: YAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!

Arzie: Introducing First… She advanced to the finals by defeating Bat-Girl and Marcella Grace, and she is one half of the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting’s Tag Team Championship…. SHE IS X-23…. TAAAAAALLLOOOONNNNN!

*Talon doesn’t bat an eyelash at the mention of her name, nor the reaction from the screaming fans around her. She never, even once, takes her glare away from Leona. And for good reason!*

Arzie: And her opponent… Advancing to the Finals by defeating The Ninja, Taki, and her decimation of Momoiro Ichigo… She is known simply as… LEEEEOOOONNNAAAAA!!!

*Leona follows suit, never taking her eyes off of Talon, even as the jeers in the crowd begin to fill the open air arena!*

Bob: The pleasantries are now under way… We are about to have our first Strong Woman Champion since 2002!
Ralph: mmm.. Carmencita…

Only The Strong Tournament
FINALS
Talon vs. Leona

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And we’re under w–

*Charging Talon, Leona flings an earring bomb across the ring, while Talon unsheathes her blades! The Mutant swats at the bomb with her left… The Adamantium claws connect with the miniature devise, which of course, explodes on impact! Talon rushes through the billowing smoke, she’s snarling like an animal, her right arm is behind her, drawn and ready, but not fast enough to stop Leona’s flying kick to the grill followed by the Moon Slasher! Leona leaps into the air, V-SLASHER!*

Bob: Talon taken down with a quick combo to open the match!

*Talon falls backwards from the jumping strike, and uses that momentum to roll to fists. Driving her claws into the canvas, she stiffens into a handstand and kicks Leona, who managed to wander too close to the opponent!*

Bob: Leona tried to keep the pressure on and fell right into that kick by the champ!

*Both women return to their feet in tandem., with Leona rushing once more towards the clawed Mutant with no regard!*

Ralph: holy crap!
Bob: Leona rushing in again!

*She ducks a while swing from X-23, quickly punishing her with a knife edged slice to the stomach, followed by an uppercut to X-23′s adamantium laced jaw with enough force to lift Talon off of her feet! Leona juggles the mutant in the air like a ball, delivering a deadly combination of kicks and punches that send the Tag Team Champion into the corner.*

Bob: Leona with ANOTHER combination! X-23 stuck in the corner!
Ralph: She’s not giving Wolf puppies any time to recover! Smart!

Leona: ARRRGGGHH!!

*Leona unleashes her Green Ki energy orb, the “Baltic Launcher” directly into the trapped in the corner X-23, engulfing the mutant!*

Bob: Baltic Launcher connects!

*The ball of chi knocks X-23 Airborne! Leona catches the Tag Team Champion midair in the belly to belly suplex position, and while both women are turning in midair, Leona delivers a sick dropkick to the chest, adding to the velocity of X-23 smashing into the canvas! Before Talon’s body finishes it’s fall, Leona tosses an earring bomb into her path!*

Ralph: EARRING BOMB!

!!KABOOOOM!!

*THIS one connects, knocking the mutant all the way across the ring! Somehow, X-23 manages to slowly stand back to her feet!*

Ralph: She’s getting up after that?!!?
Bob: Some how… Her toughness is without question, but Bob: X-23 cannot keep allowing Leona to connect these high impact moves if she wants to win this match!

*And again, Leona rushes towards X-23, performing a somersault in midair and coming down with a dropkick! But THIS time, X-23 telegraphs, MURDERING the falling Leona with a flying kick to the face, following through with a left kick using the same energy! Leona turns inside out from the contact before hitting the canvas in a heap!*

!!POP POP!!

Crowd: OOOOOOHHH!!

Bob: Leona batted out of the sky with an impressive flying spin kick!
Ralph: I think she heard your advice, Bob! o_o

*To her credit, Leona recovers from the fall, quickly wrapping her legs around Talon’s leg to bring her down for a leg-lace! It’s in vain, as Talon drops a knee on Leona’s groin!*

Crowd: OH ! >_<

Bob: Shot to the groin by Talon!

*Talon yanks Leona back to her feet by her long blue hair, before unleashing a punching two-hitter elbow strike across both sides of Leona’s face! The second elbow causes Leona to stagger a half step back, in perfect position for the roundhouse to the side/back of the neck! This causes Leona to ever so slightly lean forward, right into a over the shoulder Judo arm through by Talon! Talon throws her entire body behind the toss, and actually rolls OVER Leona the moment she hits the canvas! That momentum springs Talon back to her feet, which she quickly uses to vault to the top rope…*

Ralph: Bob, I think she’s going for that.. That axe kick from the top rope!
Bob: The move she put away her tag team partner with! Will she connect?!

*With Leona in the perfect position, Talon launches off of the top rope and NAILS the Downward Guillotine Kick!*

Bob: AND SHE CONNECTS! AMAZING, NEW ONLY THE STRONG WOMEN’S CHAMPION!

Ref: 1…. 2…….. 2.9999999999999!!!

*NOT SO FAST BOB, Leona kicks out!*

Crowd: AAAAAAWWWWW =(

*X-23 does the right thing, KEEPING the pressure on Leona! As Talon begins pulling Leona back to her feet, the blue haired warrior fires back with a straight jab to the mid-section which successfully staggers Laura back a few steps. Leona leaps right towards her, attempting another “Baltic Launcher” ki attack! X-23 ducks the slow moving ball of ki, jabbing Leona right in the face! Leona eats the punch while still moving forward in attempt to push Talon into the still floating, massive ball of ki right behind her!*

Bob: Leona attempting to shove Talon into that ball of energy! Talon fighting back to keep away from it!

*Talon delivers BRUTAL knees to the chest, but the hits un-deter Leona who strikes back with a wild knife edged chop across the face! The strike spins Talon around, who is now facing the chi blast only mere inches away! Leona grabs her by the hair and pushes with all of her might towards the glowing, pulsing green ball of ki!*

Ralph: Talon’s about to get a face full here in a second!

*Talon tries one final desperate attempt to elbow her way out of her predicament, but Leona NAILS her in the base of the skull with a headbutt, sending the Tag Team Champion face first into the Baltic Launcher! She’s blown across the ring, and into the ropes!*

Leona: e_e..

*Talon is thrown back toward the center of the ring, right into the waiting fists of Leona, who opens a can of WHOOP ASS on The Champion with a blur of standing strikes!*

Bob: This is not good for Talon! Leona’s about to take this match to the next level!

*Launched into the air after the vicious combination, X-23 is caught in midair by Leona, who impales the mutant with her dagger!*

Bob: LEONA DON’T DO THIS!

*Leona replaces the dagger with a stick of dynamite and KICKS X-23 to the ground seconds before the explosive detonates inside the open wound!*

Bob: GRAVITY STORM BY LEONA HEIDERN! THIS MATCH IS OVER! Get EMTs down here IMMEDIATELY! THIS SICK BITCH JUST KILLED TALON! >=|

*When the smoke clears, all that remains is the referee, cowering in the corner, Leona, and parts of X-23′s torso scattered across the ring! The fans who are faint at heart pull out their barf bags at the site of the gory detail inside the ring!*

Ref: >_< … R… Ring the b–

Talon: ughh…

Everyone: O_O

*Everyone’s eyes widen in shock as Talon actually GETS UP following the deadly finishing maneuver!*

Ralph: no.. fucking way.

*Looking down at her still open wound that is slowly but surely healing itself, Talon’s eyes shift from their emotionless, stoic state to a VERY pissed off one. Suddenly, the sound of her claws unsheathing from her arms and feet can be heard across the Arena!*

Leona: o_o
Talon: …Ok.

Ralph: LEONA RUUUU–

*Talon sprints across the ring that there’s a BLUR behind her! Leona doesn’t stand a chance as she’s RIPPED to shreds from the animalistic rage that is X-23! Launched in the air from a claw filled uppercut, Leona falls right into a back flipping, six clawed ball of hatred that juggles her in the air for several second! Blood splatters from the ring and into the first row of the audience like some sick version of a Gallagher comedy show!*

Bob: OH MY GOD!!
Ralph: D: She’s going to need a lot of stitches… and a gallon of iodine after that.

*Leona collides on the top rope, which flips over her, causing her to land head first on the apron before her body FINALLY comes to a rest on the concrete below in a crumpled mess! She lies motionless, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see she’s FINISHED after the amazing, six clawed finishing combination at the hands of Talon! The referee wastes no time signaling for the bell!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And that’s it!! It’s over! AMAZING! NEW STRONG WOMEN’S CHAMPION! We have found Kunoi Ishigami’s first challenge to the UCTF Grand Championship! Talon will face Kunoi for her first shot at Platinum at a later date!
Ralph: Wow, she’d be the first Female Grand Champion in what… eight years????

Winner, #1 Contender to the UCTF Grand Championship and UCTF STRONG WOMAN: Talon

*Talon slowly slides out of the ring leaving a trail of blood along the way as her mutant ability rapidly stitches up gory open wound left from Leona’s Gravity Storm. Leona, meanwhile is being carted away by EMTs. I bet when she woke up this morning, she didn’t think she’d be shredded like cheap store brand cheese!*

Ralph: Wow, it would have been awesome to have had her healing factor while I was rehabbing from that unwarranted ass beating I received at the hands of Kunoi a few years ago. >=\

*Somewhere across Anime City…*

Kunoi: Unwarranted? >=|……

*Back in the arena, Soil’s “Halo” begins playing which dramatically changes the mood of the event! The former and only three time Intergalactic Champion in the history of the UCTF slowly saunters down to the ring. Tonight he’ll have to face the man who took his Intergalactic Championship in the finals of the Tournament.. And this time, the stakes are much higher, as a shot at the UCTF Grand Championship Title is on the line!*

Bob: Enter Raven Darc… The man who destroyed Ben Tennyson in the opening Contest and then made short work of Lo-Ruhamah in the semi finals.. He’s only one more win away from claiming a shot at Kunoi Ishigami, but to do so… He is going to have to go through.. THIS man!

*”Hanyou Inuyasha” kicks up, and The half breed almost instantly appears on the giant stage! He storms down to the ring with purpose! Several more referees sprint past Inuyasha to keep him separated from Raven Darc…*

Ralph: oh crap he’s pissed o_o
Bob: He’s had to wait all night and go through two tiring matches just to get a chance to face Raven! Of course he’s pissed!
Ralph: He better calm down though. Raven Darc’s had an easier time in this tournament, and he’s no jabroni that’s going to be easy to run over…

*The ring crew finally calm the half demon down, talking him into staying in his corner until the official bell sounds. Arzie, the ring announcer finds himself in the worst possible position again, standing in between both sickeningly powerful individuals in the squared circle…*

Arzie: L-L-Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is the Finals of the UCTF Only The Strong Tournament and is scheduled for one fall! The winner will become this year’s Strong Man Champion and will become the number one contender to the UCTF Grand Championship!

Crowd: *POP!*

Arzie: Introducing first… hailing from Feudal Japan.. He stands at 175centimeters and weighs in at 70 kilograms… He is the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting’s Weaponmaster AND Intergalactic Champion… He is the DOG DEMON… INNNNUUUUYASHAAAAA!!!

Crowd: *BIGGER POP!*

Arzie: And his opponent… hailing from Hayborn Scotland… he stands at six feet, four inches, and weighs in tonight at 265lbs… He is the former three time Intergalactic Champion… RAAAAVVVEEENNNN DAAARRRCCCCC!!!

*Raven raises his right arm in the air at the mention of his name.*

Bob: This certainly has a big fight feel! Senior Glen Sanchos will be officiating…
Ralph: He better stay out of their way…
Bob: Indeed. These men have been at each other’s throats since Summer Chaos 2007! Can they finally settle their difference inside that ring tonight?!

Glen: Alright Gentlemen, at the sound of the bell, I’m getting out of your way to let you guys do your thing. I’ll only be there for the pinfall, submission or knockout. Good luck to you both.

Crowd: *MASSIVE POP!*

Only The Strong
FINALS
Raven Darc vs. Inuyasha

*The random officials clear the ring as well as Arzie. Glen Sanchos backs away into the corner leaving only two men, The Half Demon Inuyasha, and the Half Demon Raven Darc. Fans around the world are glued to the television set to witness the culmination of two years explode inside the squared circle…*

Kunoi: e_e…

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: AND THE MATCH IS ON!

*Predictably, Inuyasha leaps into attack before the match bell even finishes resonating through the arena!*

Inuyasha: IRON REAVER SOUL ST–MMMPHHH!!

*Predictably to everyone around the world, ESPECIALLY Raven Darc, who counters the Soul-Shattering Iron Fist with a giant haymaker to the teeth!*

Raven: SHUTUP! >=|

*The brutal blow manages to stagger Inuyasha a half a step, but it doesn’t stop the Hanyou’s onslaught! The IG Champion fires back with an equally powerful punch to the face, but it is then matched with an even MORE powerful strike to the chin from Raven Darc! Inuyasha slides backwards a half an inch, driving his clawed hand directly into Raven’s chest!*

Raven: ARRGHHH!!

*Raven drives his head forward, giving Inuyasha an Irish kiss right on the bridge of his nose! Inuyasha takes a half step back, and gets popped in the face with a standing side kick from the pro-wrestler! Inuyasha is knocked back a half a step, before he’s hit with an uppercut that sends him half way across the ring!*

Bob: Inuyasha send packing, but still on his feet!

*Darc instantly transforms into his full, one-winged demon form, shooting dozens of demonic chains across the ring… They latch onto the dog demon a half second before flooding thousands of volts of demonic electricity through them!*

Inuyasha: ARRGHH!!

*Inuyasha fights through the pain, grabbing the chains and YANKING as hard as he can! Raven is pulled in with great velocity as a result, sending the 6’4 Demon into a BRUTAL front kick to the chin! The “Million Chains” retract into Raven’s hands, as the hurt half demon leans back from the murderous kick in the face. But, Inuyasha ain’t done, yet! Locking his arms around Raven’s waist, the Hanyou lifts Raven into the air like an infant before falling backwards, driving Darc face first into the top turnbuckle! The former champion’s body snaps back from the impact violently as it sends him tumbling across the ring… Inuyasha quickly pulls him back to his feet by the back of the head before taking a running charge towards the opposite side of the ring.*

Bob: This doesn’t look good for Raven Darc!

*Taking a page from the book of their last contest, Inuyasha prepares to chuck Raven Darc across the ring like a torpedo into the steel pole in the corner of the ring! Right at the point of impact, however, Raven catches the ropes, blocking the attempt!*

Bob: NOT this time, Inuyasha!

*Raven throws all of his weight behind a MASSIVE Elbow, catching the Hanyou right on his nose! Inuyasha breaks the hold, and falls prey to a NASTY jumping roundhouse that connects right to the face! The powerful kick FINALLY takes Inuyasha off of his feet in impressive fashion, sending the Intergalactic Champion spread eagled across the center of the ring!*

Ralph: CHRIST!
Bob: Raven with a disgusting kick there!

Raven: >=| You wanted this match Inuyasha! YOU BEGGED FOR IT! NOW YOU’VE GOT IT!

*As Inuyasha rolls to his hands and knees, Raven hits a running SOCCER KICK to the ribs that knock Inuyasha airborne! His body, upside-down from the kick collides with the ropes! They shoot him back into the center of the ring and into the waiting arms of Raven, who’s already mid-flight. Raven catches the prone dog demon out of the sky, twisting his body around into the Downward Spyral!*

Crowd: *CRINGE!*

Bob: Raven with his patented Spinning Piledriver!
Ralph: He’s not playing this time..

Raven: You wanted this match, Dog Demon!! I was kidnapped for a month last time we fought! YOU HEAR ME?!!?

*Leaping twenty feet in the air, Raven comes crashing down with a knee across the back of Inuyasha’s neck!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOHHHH!!!

Bob: BRUTAL knee to Inuyasha from Raven! That could have paralyzed the Intergalactic Champion!

*Raven raises his arms in the air to a mixed reaction from the fans. No one has EVER been able to put Inuyasha down like this in his short UCTF career, and Raven Darc wants everyone in the arena to know that he is DOMINATING The UCTF Intergalactic and Weaponmaster Champion right now!*

Ralph: Yeah, he may be ahead on points right now, but I don’t think turning his back on Inuyasha is a good idea..
Bob: No, he isn’t!

*The Hanyou grabs a hand full mat, slowly pulling himself back to his feet. The full demon witnesses this, and grabs Inuyasha by his white long locks.*

Raven: Don’t know when to quit, do you?!

*Pulling him up by the hair, Raven quickly cinches him into a Vertical Suplex hold. He lifts Inuyasha easily with one arm, before bringing the half breed down FACE FIRST on his knee! Physics knocks Inuyasha back to a standing base following the Face Crusher, and Raven kicks him in the breadbasket, before snapping the Hanyou over with a brutal spinning neckbreaker! Inuyasha attempts to roll to safety, but it’s not to be, as Raven drags his carcass all the way back to the center of the ring. Wrapping up Inuyasha’s arm, Raven is preparing to put the half-demon away with the Tera Demon Lock! Feeling his arms being pulled behind him, Inuyasha frantically starts to throw his body around to escape the submission before Raven can lock it on…*

Bob: If Raven gets this hold locked!!

*It doesn’t happen! Inuyasha KICKS Raven in the face while on the canvas, followed by another.. AND ANOTHER! A Fourth kick hits Raven with enough power to send the half demon flying all the way across the ring! It’s now or never for Inuyasha, who quickly rolls to his feet and unsheathes Tessaiga!*

Bob: TESSAIGA!!

*Raven’s eyes widen as Inuyasha lifts his blade over his head! With a half a second or less to spare, Raven CHARGES!*

Inuyasha: WIND SCAR!! >=|!!!

*Inuyasha unleashes the Kaze no Kizu at close range on Raven, who DIVES underneath the powerful demonic attack! It WORKS, Raven completely avoids the Wind Scar, and rolls to his feet right behind The Hanyou!*

Inuyasha: O_O OH SH–

*Raven tosses Inuyasha backwards with a HUGE German Suplex that drops the Champion right on his head! Tessaiga flies out of Inuyasha’s grip. It lands blade first into the turnbuckle across the ring!!*

Ralph: GERMAN!!
Bob: RIGHT ON THE HEAD!

*Half lucid, Inuyasha instinctively pops back to his feet, where Raven hits the patented ENDLESS WALTZ in the center of the ring! The second the finsiher connects, Raven floats over, immediately locking on the leg scissors hold and wraps up Inuyasha’s arms behind him into the Tera Demon Lock! And that’s not enough, Raven’s “Million Chains” shoot from the demon’s hands! The demonic chains wrap around every part of Inuyasha’s body, giving millions of yaoi fangirls a collective orgasm! Black lightning coarse through the chains, causing an UNBELIEVABLE amount of pain through Inuyasha’s body!*

Bob: ENDLESS WALTZ INTO THE TERA DEMON LOCK WITH THE MILLION CHAINS!! THAT’S GOTTA BE IT!! RAVEN’S GOING TO WIN THIS DAMN THING!

*Not quite, Bob! There is no limit to the resilience of Inuyasha, who manages to roll to his knees and slowly begin to stand up! He climbs to one foot…*

Ralph: are you kidding me?!
Bob: Just like their On Your Computer meeting, Inuyasha is managing to stand back up from this brutal submission hold! But can he break it again even after the Endless Waltz and Million Chains techniques?!

*Another blast of black lightning puts Inuyasha down to both knees once more.. The Dog Demon howls in pain and again, stands up to one foot!*

Raven: STAY DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH!

!!KRAKATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

Inuyasha: ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGHGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*Raven throws his body weight backwards, taking Inuyasha off his knees and to his back! Unfortunately for Raven, Inuyasha simply uses that momentum to roll fully to his feet!*

Bob: HE’S BACK UP!!

Crowd: *POPS!*

*Before Raven can do anything to stop it, Inuyasha dashes backwards as fast as his superhuman body will allow him to move! He drives the wound where Raven’s right wing used to be DIRECTLY into the blade of Tessaiga which was stuck in the corner!*

Raven: ARRRRRRRRARRGHHHHHHHHH!!!

*The shock of the pain brings Raven to the brink of unconsciousness! For a brief moment, his Full demon mode flashes in and out, allowing Inuyasha to break free and recover Tessaiga! The crowd pops HUGE as The Hanyou leaps across the ring to safety…*

Bob: Inuyasha breaks free! Raven is down!
Ralph: This doesn’t look good for Raven! I think he has a Kaze no Kizu in his immediate future!

*Inuyasha, grabbing the hilt of his blade tightly and gritting his teeth, yells out to Raven Darc.*

Inuyasha: BRING IT OUT.
Raven: …
Inuyasha: C’mon you bastard! LET’S SEE IT! BRING IT OUT RIGHT NOW!
Raven: grrr…

*Raven slowly stands fully back to his feet… his growl grows to a roar as black electricity begins to manifest around him.. The lights in the arena begin to flicker as a loud rumble begins to shake the city to it’s core!*

Raven: ARRRGGHHHHH!!!

!!KAAAAAAAAATHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*The Smoke Clears. Bloodied and tattered, Raven stands before Inuyasha with the Silver Talon in hand.*

Raven: …
Inuyasha: …

Ralph: Uh oh…
Bob: Yeah. I’d say the match is just about getting ready to start.

*The half demons leap several dozen feet into the air simultaneously… Their respective fighting auras meet before their phsycial bodies, creating a crackling blur of energy throughout the arena!*

Bob: HERE WE GO!!!

*The Warriors’ blades collide in mid-air, showering the crowd below with an ungodly amount of chi energy! Neither men gain the upper hand as each swipe and slash of their respective blades are parried, blocked, and countered with strikes of their own. They battle tirelessly as gravity pulls both of their bodies back down towards the canvas! With only a few seconds of impact left, neither men relent!*

Ralph: I have a feeling we’re about to see someone’s body break in half!

*Mere feet before impact, Raven drives his foot into Inuyasha’s chest, sending the half demon reeling as he backflips to safety. Raven lands first. He drives the Silver Talon into the mat, causing an eruption of pure energy to shoot RIGHT into the back of Inuyasha! The Intergalactic Champion is juggled back into the cheap seats from the ki attack, just as Raven leaps in from behind. The hilt of the Silver Talon wraps itself around Inuyasha’s torso, sending more black lightning into his body!*

Inuyasha: ARRGGGHHHH!!

*Falling back to the canvas with Raven, Inuyasha drives the sheath of Tessaiga into Raven’s Adam’s Apple! The hilt recedes, giving Inuyasha the moment to turn his body. Raven and Inuyasha lock eyes, seeing this as their biggest moment to deliver their finishing strikes…*

Inuyasha: KAZE NOOOO—
Raven: ARRGGHHHH!!

*The Kaze No Kizu and Raven’s Lightning Slash meet a SECOND before impact on the canvas! An explosion of ki fills the ring and sends debris flying through the crowd as fans run to find shelter!*

!!KAAAAAATHHHHHHHHOOOOOMMM!!

Bob: MY GOD!!
Ralph: w..what happened? Who got hit?!

*When the smoke clears, BOTH men are still standing… and both look very much worse for wear! Gasping for air, Inuyasha slowly lifts his blade back into the air… Tessaiga begins to glow with energy as Adamant begins to cover the blade.*

Bob: OH NO.. OH NO!! Inuyasha’s going for broke here!
Ralph: This was the move that started this entire blood feud!

*Raven knows what’s about to come next.. He’s had nightmares about this move for two years now. He’s NOT going to let it happen again!*

Raven: …..
Inuyasha: ADAMANT… BARRAAAAAAGGGGEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Tessaiga fires the MASSIVE shards of Adamant towards Raven Darc, who drives the Silver Talon into the remains of the ring.*

Raven: RRRRRRRRAAARRRGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*A wave of silver energy surrounds Raven, not only blocking the shards of Diamond, but DESTROYING it on contact! The column of surrounding ki extends what seems to be limitlessly! It shoots past the Arena with ease and disappears into the heavens! More and more energy pour into Raven as the demon unleashes a SADISTIC smile on his face! Inuyasha shows, for the very first time in his career.. FEAR. PARALYZING FEAR!*

Inuyasha: …
Raven: …SILVVVVVVVER WAAAAAAAAAAAVVEEEEE!!

*The column is suddenly redirected towards Inuyasha and any poor son of a bitch who’s behind him! Inuyasha attempts to leap out of the way, but it’s useless! He’s engulfed by Raven Darc’s ultimate attack and sent FLYING into the cheap seats!*

Crowd: O____O!!

Bob and Ralph: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!

*Inuyasha hits the balcony of the Arena, INSTANTLY destroying it and creating a crater with his own body! Raven falls to his knees… The Talon is long gone, as well as his full demon mode. He lies there, gasping for breath. Glen Sanchos reappears out of no where, trying to figure out what’s going on.*

Glen: R..R… Raven.. You alright?

*Raven slowly stands back to his feet…*

Raven: e_e… g…g..give me my Strong Man Trophy.

Crowd: *POPS* X_X

Bob: Raven HAS DEFEATED INUYASHA AT ULTIMATE MASSACRE!
Ralph: x_x Jesus.

Referee: RING THE BE–

!!THOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!

Everyone: ……

Raven: …………

Ref: …………

Bob: NO-
Ralph: FUCKING WAY!! SERIOUSLY! NO FUCKING WAY!

*Inuyasha shoves a bolder that used to be part of the Arena off of him, several feet above in the cheap seats, The Dog Demon IS STILL CONSCIOUS!*

Raven: R…R…REF!! O_O RING THE BELL MAN. THAT’S HAD TO BE LONGER THAN TEN SECONDS SINCE HE’S BEEN OUT OF THE RING!

*Glen looks around..*

Glen: uhh.. Raven.. o_o Do you see a ring anywhere?

*THERE IS NONE. Both the ref and Raven are in the middle of a fucking Crater!*

Raven: ARRRGGGGGHHH!!

*Raven goes BERSERK! What the FUCK is it going to take to defeat this son of a bitch from Feudal Japan?! Using his reserves, He re-transforms back into his full demon form. He manifests the Steel Talon, as he’s too weak to re-manifest the Silver. With a GIANT leap, he bounds from the crater that used to be the ring to the crater that used to be the cheap seats! He lands RIGHT on Inuyasha! Driving his Steel Talon towards the Hanyou for the killing strike, Raven’s blow is blocked by Tessaiga, that’s in it’s pure, regular sword form!*

Raven: GIVE IT UP! YOU’VE LOST YOU BASTARD! YOU’VE LOST!
Inuyasha: arrghhh..ARRRRAGGGHH!!

*Tessaiga flares up! Inuyasha tries to push Raven off but he’s driven back into the crater HARD!*

Raven: RRRARRRGGHHH!! NO MORE TRICKS! NO MORE SPECIAL TECHNIQUES! YOU’RE DONE.
Inuyasha: n..n..NEVER!!

*The Tessaiga begins to glow a green hue, as scales of a Dragon slowly begin to cover the blade until it’s completely Engulfed!*

Bob: W..what’s going on?!

*Raven’s dark energy begins to POUR from his body, and into the blade of Tessaiga itself!*

Raven: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
Inuyasha: h..heh… D-Dragon Scaled Tessaiga… I’m taking your own Demonic Energy…. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

*Tessaiga sucks Raven’s demonic energy right out of him to the point that Raven REVERTS out of his Full demon form!*

Raven: ARRRGGHGHHHH I’m going to .. Find out the secret to that damn blade!
Inuyasha: NOT TONIGHT!!

*Inuyasha drives his foot into Raven’s chest before pushing him off into the distance!*

Ralph: YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

Inuyasha: KAZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEE NOOOOO KIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUU

*The Dragon Scale powered Wind Scar catches Raven in mid-air, COMPLETELY obliterating him in the process!*

!!!KAAAAAAAAAAATHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!

Bob: DUCK!!
Ralph: OH FU–

*Raven flies past the Commentators tower before crashing THROUGH the jumbotron!*

Ralph: >=| FUCK THIS! SECOND TIME TONIGHT! I’M OUTTA HERE. SCREW THIS!
Bob: but–
Ralph: I’M OUT.

*Inuyasha, meanwhile falls from the nose bleed section, slowly returning to the area where the ring used to be.. He vomits, before falling to one knee.*

Glen: ………RING THE BELL!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And it’s over. This epic contest is FINALLY over, and we have our Strong Man Winner!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, Winner and New Strong Man Champion.. INNNUUUYAAAASSSHHHHAAAA!

Bob: AMAZING, NEW UCTF STRONG MAN CHAMPION! He suffered an Ungodly amount of punishment from Raven Darc, who’ve I’ve never seen more intense.. More powerful in his entire UCTF Career! It came down to the wire and you have to wonder if this feud is over between the two men!

Winner, #1 Contender to the UCTF Grand Championship and UCTF STRONG MAN: Inuyasha

*EMTs rush out to Inuyasha’s aid, while more are in the back attempting to pull Raven from the wreckage of the Jumbotron.*

Bob: ladies and gentlemen, tonight we found the #1 contenders for Kunoi Ishigami’s title. Who will get the first shot at the Platinum? We’ll find out on the next episode of Saturday Massacre! For Ralph Gerrard who’s no doubt somewhere in the back crying like a bitch, I’m Bob Hinden saying goodnight!

End.

The bell sounds.

Ralph: Suicide is hit with a Sidewalk Slam by Andre Tau.

Bob: That’s a textbook Sidewalk Slam.

Ralph: Suicide hits Andre Tau with a Clothesline.

Bob: That’s a nice Clothesline.

Ralph: Andre Tau is hit with a Body Slam by Suicide.

Bob: That’s a nice Body Slam.

Ralph: Andre Tau locks in that Torture Rack on Suicide.

Bob: Andre Tau is trying to do some damage here with that Torture Rack.

Suicide grabs the ropes, breaking the Torture Rack.

Ralph: Andre Tau hits Suicide with a Body Press Flapjack.

Bob: That’s a textbook Body Press Flapjack.

Ralph: Suicide hits Andre Tau with a Body Slam.

Bob: Suicide does one of the best Body Slams that I have ever seen.

Ralph: Suicide gets hit by Andre Tau with a Shock Treatment.

Bob: Andre Tau does one of the best Shock Treatments that I have ever seen.

Ralph: Suicide gets hit by Andre Tau with a Chokeslam.

Bob: Good move.

Ralph: Suicide hits Andre Tau with a Stalling Suplex.

Bob: That’s a nice Stalling Suplex.

Ralph: Suicide is hit with a Shock Treatment by Andre Tau.

Bob: Andre Tau could be getting ready to go for the Black Hole Slam soon.

Ralph: Andre Tau looks to be setting up for the Black Hole Slam.

Ralph: Andre Tau was getting ready for the Black Hole Slam, but saw that Suicide was ready for it and instead, hooks Suicide in a Torture Rack.

Bob: I don’t really see the point of that. The Black Hole Slam is a better submission than the Torture Rack. It doesn’t make sense that Andre Tau wouldn’t go for it.

Suicide grabs the ropes, breaking the Torture Rack.

Ralph: Suicide gets hit by Andre Tau with a Sidewalk Slam.

Bob: This should be it!

Ralph: Andre Tau defeats Suicide via knock-out.

*Jeice’s blue haired sidekick enters the room*

Xiu: Hey, Boss. The show’s about to start.

Jeice: Give me a second. I’m playing with this new “PWN 1VS1″ Wrestling Simulator I downloaded off the net! All you have to do is type in two fighter’s names, some moves and it does all the work for you!

Xiu: …but it looks shitty…

Jeice: So what! It doesn’t matter that the quality is non-existent! What’s important is that with it, we can have like.. Three shows every week!! Think about it! We can hire a bunch of losers who’ve never lifted a finger in battle before, just punch their names into this database, press enter, and presto! 5 star matches every two days!

Xiu: … That’s probably dumber idea than the time we went Karaoke singing in the Indian Ocean with Black Bolt from the Inhumans in 2004.

–FLASHBACK–

Jeice: A MODERN-DAY WARRIOR, MEAN MEAN STRIDE, TODAY’S TOM SAWYER, MEAN MEAN PRIDE! TAKE IT AWAY BLACK BOLT!

Black Bolt: ……………………… *inhales*

*Seconds later on the coast of India, a HUGE Tidal Wave approaches!*

Villager: ……….lolfu–

–END FLASHBACK–

Jeice: IT’S GENIUS I TELL YOU!! BLOODY GENIUS!!

Xiu: I’m going to tell the ref to start the NRA title match.. O_o..

Jeice: THEN WE CAN RULE THE INTERNET!!! WE’LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! YOU HEAR ME!?!? THE WORLD?!!?

*Xiu, long finished with listening to another insane rant by the UCTF president continues walking out of the room while speaking to Senior Official Guy Lombardo on his two way.*

Xiu: yeah, Guy? Go ahead and start the card.

Jeice: IT’LL BE LIKE THE DARK AGES OF THE UCTF AGAIN!!! SOMEBODY CALL TETSUKO MIROKI!!! THE KISS OFF SLAPPY GUY!!! PUT HIM IN A MATCH AGAINST GOURRY GABRIEV!!! WE’RE BACK BABY!!! WRESTLING SIMS!!

*We’re brought into an abandoned, dilapidated gas station in the outskirts of Anime City. The poorly lit area provides difficulty for the cameraman to focus on a lone figure in the distance, struggling to rip a cube of Nicotine gum from it’s plastic packaging. Frustrated, the dark figure shoves it, and several more pieces into his mouth before tossing the empty package to the ground. The camera finally manages to focus on the empty “Nictorel” brand gum package, a half second before it’s stomped on by a dusty, black military issued combat boot.*

Rott: Damnit. This fucking gum just isn’t the same.

*The camera pans up, revealing the gum chewer to be none other than the former UCTF Grand Champion and chain smoker, Rott. Aged and pale faced from the lack of nicotine coursing through his veins, the former UCTF competitor looks as agitated as ever.*

Bob: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE 200TH ANNIVERSARY OF UCTF TELEVISED ACTION!

Ralph: Oh man, this card is stacked. Jeice has out done himself this time. I just hope we don’t get attacked by an invading army, demons, or galactic super powers tonight >=|

Bob: UCTF Superstars of the past and present collide in a once in a life time event, only to be capped off by a MASSIVE main event tonight! The Rematch for the UCTF Grand Championship Title between Melvic Lillith and Kunoi Ishigami will take place in just a few hours!

*Ralph points at the jumbotron with a drumstick he grabbed from the local KFC.*

Ralph: Check it out! The other NRA fighters just showed up! Looks like our NRA Invitational is about to start!

Bob: Senior Official Guy Lombardo has the unlucky job of being out there with the gun fighters… Let’s listen in as he gives the rules for tonight’s match!

*Faye Valentine, another pioneer of the UCTF NRA Division arrives at the gas station next, followed by Vash The Stampede. The party continues to grow as Garshrink Grimjaw, Cameron Baine, Gene Starwind, Bad Kitty, Euridice Reed, and finally, Carmencita Benitez arrive on the scene.

Guy: Alright guys. Everyone’s accounted for, so let’s go through the rules. THERE AREN’T ANY. The winner is the last man… or woman standing. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a bunker to hide in!

Garshrink: WAIT YA UME! >=| SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS TOO.

Guy: oh.. I guess you’re right.. Sh–

!!KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*Garshrink is taken out with a ROCKET LAUNCHER before the match even starts! As the other NRA competitors scramble for cover, the camera gets a shot of BB Hood high above everyone else with dozens of weapons, INCLUDING a sniper Rifle!*

BB: e_e. *reloads*

Bob: GARSHRINK’S ALREADY ELIMINATED!

Ralph: BUT BB GAVE HIM A DAMN PUPPY FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!

Bob: THERE’S NO FRIENDS OR ENEMIES IN THIS BATTLE! LET’S GET TO THE ACTION!

NRA Invitational

Vash The Stampede

Faye Valentine

Garshrink Grimjaw

Rott

Euridice Reed

Cameron Baine

Gene Starwind

BB Hood

Bad Kitty

Carmencita Benitez

*Everyone finds a hiding space, except for one person DUMB enough to stand out in the open and wave at his ex-girlfriend like a jackass! That’s right! Vash The Stampede in all his Flat top hair glory isn’t afraid of getting shot! Nooooo not by someone who he used to cuddle with at night!*

Vash: HEY B.B.!!

BB: e_e!!!!!!

Vash: sorry about not calling you over the years! I had this whole thing with my brother trying to kill everyone on a planet and stuff! Hope you understand! Why don’t you come down here and let’s talk about it?

!!POP!!

*A round from the sniper rifle BARELY misses him!*

Vash: Ok..ok.. I know you’re mad, but–

!!POP!!

*Again, Vash narrowly escapes!*

Vash: BB! We can talk about this!

Rott: Hey.. Isn’t that the girl who almost got my ass killed by Sano.. Along with that Fan-slut?

Faye: …yeah, that’s her alright.

Rott: ..e_e…

Gene: HEY VASH, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP BEFORE I SHOOT YOU MYSELF! >=|

*Seeing that a single bullet won’t be enough to shut Vash up, BB turns her sights toward something a little more… big. Vash turns to see a single red dot, targeted on the gas nozzle to his side.*

Vash: lolf-

!!!!POP—KLAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!

*The BLOCKBUSTER takes Vash out with ease! But the explosion also serves as a diversion of BB’s attention. Faye Valentine, Reed, and Cameron Baine make their way to BB’s hiding place with weapons drawn! Upon arrival they discover a vast array of weapons all scattered amounts a plaid blanket on the top of the roof!*

Faye: o_o It’s an Al-Queda picnic up here! Somebody’s been preparing for weeks!

BB: e_e who do you think invited you all?

*BB pulls out a freaking DESERT EAGLE from her white apron before firing upon the diving Faye! Cameron grabs the Champion from behind only to get mule kicked in the sack!*

BB: >=|!

*BB Spins around, driving her dagger DEEP into the shoulder of the former champion! He goes down, only to be grabbed by the neck and now has the unfortunate of being BB’s human shield, as he’s bombarded by non-lethal rounds by both Reed AND Valentine!*

Cameron: X_X!!!

*BB kicks him away, but not before disarming him! Now using double fisted action, she takes out BOTH Reed AND Faye in a BADASS show of gunplay!*

Gene: OH SHIT SHE’S GOING INSANE AGAIN O_O

Rott: e_e… I really need a cigarette.

Gene: I’m gonna need a castor gun for this.

Rott: You got any nicotine gum? >=\

*Gene shakes his head in disgust…*

Bad Kitty: Hey, Starwind. She set us all up. You got that magic bullet of yours?

Gene: Yeah?

Bad Kitty: Good. Carmencita and I have a plan. Flash Grenades. We distract her, you use the bullet.

Gene: good plan. e_e.

Rott: What if the bullet turns him into a giant chicken again? e_e.

Gene: WELL I DON’T SEE YOU COMING UP WITH A STRATEGY.

Rott: The last time I checked, this was every man for himself.

Gene: forget you! Ladies. I’m all up for it!

*The Former NRA Rivals, Bad Kitty and Carmencita Benitez spring into action! Two flash grenades fly through the air, garnering the attention of the NRA Champion! BB shoots one out of the sky, causing a VIOLENT light to flash before her eyes!*

Kitty: GENE!

Gene: I’M ON IT!

*Gene jumps to his feet, firing his special bullet!*

Gene: …………………………………………………………………. OHSHITITSTHESTAYPUFTMARSHMELLOWMAN!

*Before the women can react, they’re STOMPED on by the marshmellowy goodness from Ghostbuster!*

Rott: *shakes head* I knew that was a dumb fucking idea.

*Back to her feet and able to see again, BB now has a hold of her rocket launcher, and has her sites dead set on Gene Starwind! She’s SURGICAL with the damn thing, but not like she needs to.. It’s a fucking ROCKET LAUNCHER! And Starwind? The poor bastard is without anything good that can stop the onslaught that he’s about to face!*

Gene: ROTT! ROTT! ROTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rott: SHUT UP!! >=| Fine. The faster this is over the faster I can go to the store and get some more gum. Besides, this little puta caused me a ton of pain in my life.

*The Former Grand Champion rises from his shielding, slowly walking towards the NRA Champion, who already has the rocket launcher primed and ready to fire! Like a cowboy from the old west, Rott quickly draws his gun and fires in a single, fluid movement! The bullet goes through the barrel of the launcher, and setting off the missile!*

!!KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*BB is taken off of her feet by the explosion, and sent tumbling off the roof and into a pile of garbage!*

Gene: THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! >=| THAT’S WHY YOU’RE THE MAN! YOU ARE THE —–

!!POP!!

*Without a second through, Rott shoots Gene right between the eyes, knocking the former multiple NRA Champion OUT! COLD!*

Rott: e_e… apple sauce, bitch.

*He turns back around, watching BB Hood struggle to climb back to her feet!*

Rott: =\ I’ll give you credit. You almost won. But you know what they say… Grenades and Horseshoes.

!!POP!!

*Another bullet right between BB’s eyes, and it’s over!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Arzie: The winner of the NRA INVITATIONAL…. ROTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!

Bob: …w..wow.

Ralph: wow indeed. o_o

Winner: Rott

*Seth is in the back his “usual” chipper self when he runs into someone he hasn’t seen for over 2 years.*

William: …………Conway.

Suicide:…………Clarke.

*The two of them look at each other for a moment before they both lift there hands and slap them together and shake.*

Suicide: Took you long enough. e_e

William: heh. You been alright?

Suicide: Top of the world actually. Had kind of an epiphany, you know. Good to have you back, ya damn Yorker.

William: Thanks, but don’t get used to me. After tonight, I got some business to handle.

*He points to the custom made S.H.I.E.L.D. Necklace, still secured firmly around his neck*

William: Good luck against the IG champ.

*He slaps Suicide on the back, and prepares to leave the room.*

Suicide: Hey, Will… Kick Ranma’s ass.

*William smiles (for maybe the first time in his life) before leaving the room. Suicide keeps his old stern expression for a few more seconds before reverting back to Mr. Niceguy!*

Suicide: ^_________^ HEY XAMOT! GET OVER HERE AND GIVE ME A HUG!

!!YOU ARE THE FLUUUUUUUUUKE…. OF THE UNNNIVERRRRSSSSEEE!!

*That proclamation can only mean one thing! It’s time for the assest fighter the UCTF has ever seen, the man who can’t even pronounce his own ridiculously long name, The former Interplanetary Champion… NNNN! The overweight saiya-jin saunters to the ring at the assist of the live band playing his theme “Mr. Wonderful!*

Ralph: I can’t believe THIS idiot got booked on the show tonight >=|

Bob: It’s all about nostalgia, Ralphy! I’m sure you remember the Anal Explosion Death Match of May 11th 2001!

Ralph: yeah…

Bob: and the TOILET MATCH of June 16th 2001!

Ralph: unfortunately…

Bob: And here we are.. Five years later, ready to put an end to this feud once and for all!

Ralph: Yeah, that and uhh.. I hear that Dan needed the money. He’s still working as a dish washer boy somewhere in Anime City after being screwed out of all his money via Johnny Cockring…

*Yeah, remember that thing a few years ago where Dan would run off, and the Shotokan Kamen would appear? Everyone thought it was Dan just putting on a mask? Well, it wasn’t. Dan was broke as shit, and would run off to change into his bus boy attire after his matches. The Shotokan Kamen really WAS someone else. Gouki. LOOSE ENDS BEING TIED UP HERE TONIGHT!*

Keep posin’ posin’ posin’ YOSHAAA!

Keep posin’ posin’ posin’ ORAAA!

Keep posin’ posin’ posin’ KIZURAAAA!!!

Keep posin’ posin’ posin’ posin’!!!!!

!!!BLOOOOOOM!!!!

*The Pink Pyrotechnics explodes, and out rides the “GREATEST FORMER GRAND CHAMPION OF ALL TIME,” Dan Hibiki, in his pussy pink Volkswagen Bug!*

Bob: LISTEN TO THIS OVATION RALPH!

Ralph: >=\

Bob: The last time we saw this man in action, it was hitting Aisha Clan-Clan in the face with a flaming scratching post, and helping William Clarke win the UCTF Grand Championship title at On Your Computer in 2003!

Ralph: And he looks just as shitty.

Dan Hibiki: DOUBLE N, ARE YOU READY FOR ONE MORE EMBARRASSING LOSS TO THE GREATEST SUPERSTAR TO EVER APPEAR IN A UCTF EVENT?!

NNNN: >=\

!!DING DING DING!!

Dan Hibiki vs. NNNN

*The match is under way, and these old rivals don’t waste a second going after each other! NNNN swings high, and misses huge as Dan rolls the punch, turning it into a pose!*

Dan: YOSSHAAAA!!!

Crowd: *POPS!!*

Ralph: That’s embarrassing! >=| He can’t even hit someone who hasn’t fought in over THREE YEARS.

Bob: Well to defend NNNN… Dan is in twice the shape he’s in … o_o…

Ralph: Yeah. Dan’s actually been inside a gym, and it looks like the only thing NNNN’s ever done is the 12oz curl with a Budweiser.

*NNNN leaps towards Hibiki again, this time missing with another punch that goes too high. He comes back around with a sweeping kick, which Dan leaps over with ease, before delivering a stiff kick to NNNN’s face! It sends the saiyan flying into the ropes, only to be caught with a dragon punch by the former Grand Champion! The tubby bastard spills into the corner, much to the concern of his personal band!*

Bob: Uppercut to NNNN and he’s down!

Ralph: This is embarrassing.. Dan was right… *shakes head*

Dan: ORA!!! THIS IS THE BEST COMPETITION YOU GUYS HAVE?! GET KUNOI MACARONI AND THE GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP BELT OUT HERE! I WA–

!!BLAM!!

*During his rant, Dan NEVER sees NNNN being supplied with a cane from one of the band members! He CERTAINLY never sees it breaking over the back of his neck by the half saiyan, either! That shot turns the tide of the match INSTANTLY!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOHH!!

Bob: DAN’S DOWN!

Ralph: never turn your back on an opponent.. Not even one who’s so horribly out of shape!

NNNN: >=| GET ME SOME MORE WEAPONS!

*The fans pop huge, as the girls toss in trash cans, brooms, mops, and other assorted cleaning supplies from underneath the ring!*

Ralph: Now this thing is gonna get interesting!

Bob: NNNN may be a worthless fighter, but a few shots to the face with a broom stick will be enough to put anyone down! Especially the former Grand Champion!

NNNN: GET UP DAN! TALK SHIT NOW!

Dan: o..o..oyaaa..jiii x_x

!!WHAM!!

*Dan may be calling for his long since departed father, but instead, gets a trash can lid to the face! The aluminum object bends in half from the shot, knocking the Saikyo-Ryuu master flat on his back! NNNN can feel it now, as he powers up into the first level of super-saiya-jin!*

NNNN: YEAH!!!!!! I CAN FEEL IT! >=| YOUR ASS IS MINE DAN! GET UP!

*NNNN begins powering up for his ultimate attack! Meanwhile, back to his feet, a woozy Hibiki senses the danger! There’s only one thing he do to counter act the “FINAL LIGHT” attack.. And that is the–*

Dan: SHINNNNKUUUU.. GADOUKEN!!!!!!!!!

NNNN: FINAL LIGHT ATTACK!

Bob: HERE IT COMES!! BOTH OF THE WARRIOR’S MOST POWERFUL MOVES!

!!!FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSHHH!!

*The blasts take off from opposite sides of the ring, and they fizzle out! They don’t even CONNECT with each other! Both Dan and NNNN look at each other in both embarrassment and confusion, before rushing to pick up mop and broom sticks from their respective sides of the ring!*

Ralph: OH GIVE ME A BREAK!

*They swing at each other wildly, and BOTH connect with each other! Splinters of broken wood fly everywhere, as both men hit the canvas!*

Bob: Both men are down!

Ralph: THEIR BLASTS DIDN’T EVEN MEET EACH OTHER!

*The Band members are pounding on the canvas to will their leader, their boss, NNNN back to his feet, while EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ARENA is cheering for Dan Hibiki to stand back to his feet! As they struggle to beat each other back to their vertical bases, Dan dives forward, grabbing NNNN by the yellow mustard stained shirt!*

Dan: THIS IS IT! >=| OOOOOOOOOOYAAAAAJIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!

Ralph: OH SHIT ITS–

Bob: THE OTOKO MICHI!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!FLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!

Bob: IT CONNECTS!

*The move hits full on, and when it’s over, NNNN is out on his back, with an equally unconscious Dan Hibiki on top! The ref shrugs, before sliding into position.*

Ref: 1………. 2………… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crowd: *POP!*

Bob: Three count and it’s over!

Ralph: Jesus Christ…

Bob: Dan returns for one night only, and gets another win over his rival, NNNN!

Winner: Dan Hibiki

Arzie: The Following match is scheduled for one fall… Introducing first, Currently residing in Paris, France… He is the Ever Loving, Blue Eyed.. THINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

*Former World Champion, Benjamin Grimm makes his way down the aisle to a massive ovation!*

Ralph: France? O_o

Bob: You didn’t hear?? The Thing has decided to leave the United States until that whole “Registration Act” thing is settled.

Ralph: But why FRANCE. They raise dirty bitch whores there! >=|

Bob: you’re certainly right about that..

Janne: I HEARD THAT. AND BOB. COME VISIT YOUR SON MORE!

Ralph: 9_9

Bob: oh God Almighty =( Anyway, Guy requested this match from Jeice personally. January 12th 2002, Guy defended the World Championship against Thing, and was almost KILLED in battle!

Ralph: Yeah, Thing ended up leaving with the World Title, and Guy just left on a stretcher and new bruises he never had before. I don’t think Guy EVER recovered mentally from that match, and he wants retribution tonight! …can’t say it’s a good idea though.. It’s the freaking THING.

*”My Frustration” starts up, with Guy storming down to the ring with ruthless intent! He’s been waiting for 4 years for this opportunity to settle the score with Benjamin Grimm, and tonight, he FINALLY gets his chance!*

Ralph: uhh.. O_O he doesn’t look too happy, does he?

Bob: Not at all!

Arzie: Introducing next, from Metro City… he is the former world champion… GUUUUUUUUUUUUYYYYYY!!!!

Ralph: He seriously looks like he’s going to rip Thing’s head off of his shoulders!

Bob: Good luck with that!

Ralph: Exactly! I think the beating he got from Grimm last time did something to his brain! You’re no match for this guy…. Guy!

!!DING DING DING!!

Guy vs. The Thing

*The match is officially under way, and Guy prepares to go right into the action! However, Thing has other ideas! Pushing the referee in between the two men, he wants to TALK this out first!*

Thing: Wait wait wait.. Kid! Hold up a second, will ya?

Guy: What?! >=|

Thing: …o_o I’m sorry, but.. Could you remind me of who you are???

Guy: …………………….

Everyone: *FACEFAULTS*

Ralph: He doesn’t even remember?!?!?!

Thing: I know I know.. But with M-Day happening, the Avengers killing each other off, and this damn Civil War, I don’t remember.. We have a beef or somethin’ man??

Guy: YOU ALMOST KILLED ME OVER A GOLD BELT!?!?!? AND YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU DON’T EVEN REMEMBER?!?!

Thing: …o_o…

*Guy SHOVES the ref out of the way, sending the poor bastard OVER the top rope!*

Everyone: O_O!

Bob: THE REF’S OUT OF THE RING!

Ralph: uh oh! He’s going to refresh Ben’s Memory the hard way!

*Guy steps into Thing with the “Hou Zan To” punch, made to go through KI PROJECTILES! The punch lands right in the center of Thing’s massive Rock chest, and manages to knock the Fantastic Four enforcer back a half a step! Guy wisely keeps the attacks pouring in, nailing a flip kick roundhouse to the butt of Ben’s chin! Guy doesn’t wait to see if it works or not, as he’s already hitting the ropes, gaining more momentum for his next attack!*

Guy: BUSHIN GORAI KYAKU!!!

*Guy unleashes a vicious seven hit combination into Thing!*

Bob: THING GOES DOWN TO ONE KNEE!

Ralph: He’s giving it to him alright o_o!

*He takes advantage of Thing’s big size, by nailing his “BUSHIN MUSOU REN GE,” another TEN HIT COMBINATION into Ben Grimm! This time, it’s enough to put the big man on his back! The fans are STUNNED!*

Bob: Guy has unleashed his ENTIRE arsenal on The Thing! I’ve never seen anyone put it on Thing like that since.. Since JANN LEE!

Ralph: and that was a MIRACLE Bob, don’t you forget that!

*The boss of Metro city spits on Thing before turning to leave…*

Guy: e_e!

Thing: oh.. Oh x_x I remember you now.

Guy: …o_o..

*Guy turns around to see Thing standing back to his feet!*

Thing: e_e you’re still mad about that? Fighters in the UCWF wouldn’t have complained about me being “Too Rough!” Fine. IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!

Bob and Ralph: OH SHIT!!

Ralph: WAIT. UCWF?!!?!?

Bob: Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation!

Ralph: WHAT?!!? WE NEED TO SUE!! WHAT THE HELL?!

Bob: It was created in 1985.

Ralph: …ok, I’ll shut my mouth now.

*Guy springs to the top rope, before a second leap swings him flying towards Thing with a wide roundhouse! Thing however, intercepts the former champion with a HUGE fist that collides with Guy’s ENTIRE body! Guy damn near turns INSIDE OUT from the hit, before bouncing off the canvas!*

Bob: JESUS CHRIST!

*He bounces back to his feet, firing back with the “Bushin Sempu Kyaku!” The Triple Roundhouse connects all three times, but serves to be little to no help against the super human bastard!*

Thing: >=|!

Ralph: RUN GUY! RUN!!!!!!!!!!

*Guy runs TOWARDS Thing, leaping over his head an attempt to throw the superhero! Grimm doesn’t budge an INCH! Instead, he reverses the throw, sending Guy into the corner! Guy lands on his feet in the top rope, before flipping backwards, connecting a two-hit Crescent kick on the top of Ben’s dome!*

Bob: Guy is still in this!

Ralph: yeah, well he’s only been hit ONCE by Thing. If he manages to get another hit in >=|

*His legs are bruised to hell, his fists are bleeding, but Guy won’t stay down! Thing fires back with another wrecking ball like right hand, but it’s parried away by Guy, who uses the LAST of his strength to–*

Guy: BUSHIN MUSOU REN GE!!!

*He musters another Ten Hit combination on the WIDE OPEN Ben Grimm!*

Bob: HE CONNECTS WITH EVERY SINGLE HIT!!!

Ralph: BUT IT’S NOT —

*Thing fires back immediately, REPEATEDLY punching Guy in the face, followed by a NASTY uppercut to his chin that not only takes Guy off of his feet, but sends him OVER the top rope and to the apron! Shades of their match four years ago on Saturday Massacre!*

Ralph: HOLY SHIT!

Bob: X_X MY GOD!!!

*The referee has seen enough, immediately calling for the bell!*

!!DING DING DING!! DING DING DING!!

Bob: That’s it! It’s over! It’s over!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen.. The winner by decision.. THE THINGGGGG!!!!

Thing: *cracks knuckles* e_e.

Ralph: he just.. It.. Wh..

Bob: Guy brought it all tonight.. It just.. It just wasn’t enough.. My GOD what a brawl that was!

Ralph: He just.. X_x

Winner: The Thing

*As EMTs DRAG Guy’s ass away, we set up for the next match..*

Bob: Ladies and Gentlemen… This NEXT match was made a few weeks ago, after the debacle with Ralph Flagg in the UCTF!

–FLASHBACK–

*The UCTF.com exclusive camera footage goes back several weeks ago where President Jeice approaches Chipp Zanuff, who was JUST finished scaring away Mr. Flagg from the back.*

Jeice: uhh.. O_o what the HELL are you doing here?

Chipp: …>.> wouldn’t you like to know.

Jeice: Well since it seems you’re an active employee again. You’ve got a match at our 200th show… I’m going to call it.. O_O a battle between swordmaster LEGENDS. You ever meet Kaede?

Chipp: no. e_e

Jeice: You will.. BWAHAHAHAHAHA OOOOH YOU WILL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA just bring your ass back at the 200th show. e_e

Chipp: K. o_o

–END FLASHBACK–

Ralph: Well that was completely random.. But …makes perfect since I guess.

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall.. And will be contested under SWORDMASTER RULES!!!

*”Sucka Sage” starts up to a big ovation, bringing out the former sword champion ninja, Chipp Zanuff! The Loose Cannon of the UCTF teleports into the ring, showing off his superior speed and agility, before pulling off his red mask. He still has NO idea as to who or what he’s up against!*

Ralph: This is going to be fun.. We’re going to see the demise of this loser to someone who took it to VEGETA and DAYVID NITE in the same month!

Bob: Oh come on Ralph.. I don’t think it’ll be one sided.. I mean.. Chipp’s beaten some big names too! Like…. that guy who wore pink all the time?

Ralph: Dan?

Bob: No.. The other guy W..JESSE HALL!

Ralph: You’re an IDIOT.

*Rammstein’s “DER MEISTER” begins playing to an even LARGER ovation! That Sweet Sweet Seiryuu slowly makes his way from the back, sporting his lavender hair and pretty boy samurai clothing! It’s the God himself, KAEDE, back in the UCTF for the big 200th show!*

Ralph: wait.. I just said I want to see Chipp get his ass whipped to Kaede… ……..I don’t hate him THAT much. GO CHIPP! WHIP THIS PRETTY BOY’S ASS!

Bob: I was wondering when you’d remember your feud with him -_-.

Kaede: HEY RALPH!!!

Ralph: =\!

Bob: I for one, can not wait for the first of many Dream matches tonight on UCTF’s 200th show! Let’s get this one under way!

!!DING DING DING!!

Kaede vs. Chipp Zanuff

*The fans are at the edges of their seats, preparing to see the Zansi Roga vs. The Dragon Crash! The Gamma Blade vs. The Lightning Slash! Kaede and Chipp prepare to lock hands for the first and only time inside of the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting League’s open air arena! With both hands clenched around his Katana, Kaede leans in for an attack. In the same breath, Chipp leaps into the air, throwing a single shriuken towards the Seiryuu. Kaede falls right into Chipp’s game, and blocks the ninja’s star. That half a second of distraction is enough for Chipp, who dashes across the ring with the “Alpha Blade.”*

Chipp: ALPHA BLADE!

*Kaede manages to block, but is off balance, giving Chipp room to deliver a five hit combination! Kaede battles back, misses a punch, and is kicked in the face for his troubles! Chipp teleports to the corner behind the Seiryuu before delivering a flying kick to the back! Kaede is sent to the canvas, but rolls forward and back to his feet thanks to the momentum from the kick. However, by the time he’s back to his feet, Chipp is already in front of him!*

!!WHAM!!

*A hard slash sends Kaede right back to the ground!*

Ralph: YEAH!!! GO CHIPP!

Bob: Chipp is apparently the faster of the two, so far!

Ralph: SO FAR?! HE JUST RAN CIRCLES AROUND KAEDE! KEEP ON HIM!

*Chipp DOES keep the pressure on, Forcing Kaede to block another “Alpha Blade,” Chipp ends up behind the now vulnerable Seiryuu, and opens up on him with a quick five hit combination, into the “Beta Blade” ki blade uppercut! Kaede flips backwards to regain his footing, but is caught when Chipp uses his “GAMMA BLADE” to create a spirit version of himself who catches the Seiryuu in midair!*

Kaede: damnit!

Bob: Kaede can’t even get a single hit out! Chipp’s speed is mind numbing!

Ralph: HAHAHAHA, HE’S EMBARRASSING THE LEGEND! HAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS GREAT!

*As Chipp springs forward to take advantage of his bound opponent, Kaede shakes off Chipp’s after image, before swinging the his katana downward to create a lightning bolt in the center of the ring! Chipp teleports at the LAST possible second, reappearing on the top rope with a look of shock on his face! A black singe mark now resides in the ring that very well could have been the American Born Ninja’s remains!*

Chipp: o_o

Kaede: >=|

Bob: Kaede almost finished it there!

Ralph: That’s was a close one Chipp! But keep on him! Get more of those shirukens out there!!!

*Chipp dives off the top rope, missing Kaede with a kick, as the ancient samurai SNK rolls out of the way! Back to his feet, Kaede swings the sword wildly, Chipp gets his arm in the way, blocking the Katana with his arm blade, but not the following kick to the bread basket! The Sucka Sage is knocked backwards just as Kaede rushes forward into his infamous electrified triple slash attack!*

Ralph: NO!!!

*Chipp falls victim to the first two hits, but wisely teleports out of the way of the third. Kaede spins around and his face feels the FULL brunt of Chipp’s “Resso” Strike, followed by the low sweeping “Rokusai” kick! Kaede is airborne for a split second before being hit with the “Senshu” Heel strike, causing the Seiryuu to BOUNCE off of the canvas and fly through the air!*

Ralph: YES!!

Bob: Kaede is helpless!

Ralph: YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

*With Kaede coming back to the earth, Chipp leaps towards him with his arm blade primed and ready to go! What he DIDN’T expect however, was Kaede suddenly EXPLODING into his Awakened state!*

Chipp: LOLFU–

!!KATHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOM!!!

*The smoke clears, with Kaede now powered up with Green eyes, blonde hair, and conceited smirk!*

Ralph: NOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOO!!!!

Bob: Kaede has Awakened!! This is going to get interesting, REALLY fast!

*Chipp teleports back to his feet surprised, but not impressed. Kaede raises his blade in the air, a surge of electric Ki begins to manifest around him! Chipp may have but one chance, and he takes it by lunging forwards, activating his “Banki Messai” Super Combination! IT connects, landing all of twenty hits into the powered up Seiryuu! Kaede goes down for a split second, before climbing back to his feet! He smirks, before unleashing the electricity he gathered into a Lightning Slash across the ring! Chipp teleports out of the way, but unlike before, Kaede SENSES where Chipp’s body will reappear, and already has a Lightning attack heading in that direction! The second Chipp reappears, he’s NAILED!*

Bob: HE GOT HIM!

Ralph: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

*The ninja shakes it off, flinging himself across the ring!*

Chipp: ZANSI—

Bob: HE’S GOING FOR IT!

Ralph: DO IT!!

Chipp: ROOOOO—

*The Ninja teleports wildly from side to side, after images fly around as he throws punches at every direction into the Awakened Kaede, who, unfortunately for Chipp, BLOCKS EVERY SINGLE HIT!*

Ralph: OH NO!!!

*This leaves Chipp open for The “DRAGON CRASH” Kaede’s Double Super Finisher, an uppercut slash of pure electricity, unleashed in the form of several dragons that juggle Chipp’s body in midair!*

Bob: DRAGON CRASH!!

Ralph: NO NONONO GOD NO!!!

*The Former Sword Champion crashes to the canvas in a heap, and it’s over! The referee signals for the bell!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: What an ending! If Kaede hadn’t blocked the Zansi Roga!!

Ralph: NOTHING IS SACRED! THAT WAS CHIPP ALL THE WAY! THAT WAS BULLSHIT! >=| FUCK KAEDE!

Bob: KAEDE PICKS UP THE VICTORY!

*Now returned to normal, Kaede retreats to the back, raising his blade in victory!*

Winner: Kaede

*Backstage*

Jeice: HAHAHAHAHAHA! E_E MAKE RANDOM APPEARANCE IN MY FED CHIPP. THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU.

Xiu: o_o…

*Back in the ring*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen… the following dream match, is scheduled for one fall!

*The epic theme song “Kokoro no Hidaka” kicks up to a resounding ear shattering ovation, as the Ippatsu Yarou, The One punch bastard known as Sanosuke Sagara saunters to the ring, complete with a fish bone hanging loosely between his lips.*

Bob: I have personally been holding my breath for this match! Two of the hardest hitting UCTF competitors will face each other for the first and last time in a UCTF ring!

Ralph: That’s right.. I can’t wait to see if the Master of the “Way of the Dragon” can topple the Master of the Futae No Kiwami!

*Next, The Crystal Method’s “Trip Like I Do” begins, bringing down Jann Lee, who storms to the squared circle with purpose! He has not had an active match in the UCTF for almost four years now, and beating Sanosuke Sagara would instantly place him at “Legendary Status!”

Bob: Sano is famous for his feud against Rott during the early years of the UCTF, Jann Lee made a name for himself by knocking out warriors inside the ring who seemed at the time impossible to beat!

Ralph: Exactly.. I bet Ben Grimm is STILL feeling those attacks he received from Jann years ago!

*An agile spring from the apron lands Jann Lee inside the ring, staring across from Sanosuke!*

Bob: Just waiting for the bell now, and the match will begin!

Sanosuke vs. Jann Lee

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: THE MATCH IS UNDERWAY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

*Sano moves forward rapidly, as well as Jann, who plants his feet into the mat before launching himself across the ring, going for his devastating Flying Dragon Kick! However, Sano meets Jann’s greatest strike with one of his own, the–*

Sano: FUTAE NO KIWAMI!!

!!KATTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!

*Both attacks meet in the center of the ring! Jann is sent flying from the attack, before hitting the ground and rolling into the corner!*

Bob: OH MY GOD!

Ralph: … I think Sano just broke Jann’s foot.

*The referee checks on Jann, who has INDEED broken his foot after being LEVELED with the FNK! He struggles to stand back up! Not a good idea!*

Sano: e_e Futae No Kiwami.

!!KATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*A second FNK, even stronger connects to the side of Jann’s face, putting the Martial Arts legend out of the ring!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOHHH!! X_X

Ralph: HOLY SHIT!

Bob: SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!!!!

*With Jann Lee motionless, hanging upside down from the bottom rope and dangling just a few inches from the concrete below, the referee has seen enough!*

!!DING DING DING!!

*”Kokoro No Hidaka” returns to the sound system, Sano, without so much has breaking a sweat leaves the ring and slowly walks up the ramp.*

Crowd: SANO! SANO! SANO! SANO! SANO! SANO! SANO! SANO! SANO! SANO!

Ralph: TWO HITS?!!? TWO HITS?!?!

Bob: ..I..I guess any attack that made Vegeta’s lip bleed… I..I don’t know..

Winner: Sanosuke

*The Ippatsu Yarou stops at the top of the ramp, before returning to the backstage area, he glances back down at the beaten Jann Lee as he’s being attended to by the UCTF Staff.*

Sano: …e_e.. Feh.

*Halo by Soil kicks up on the sound system and out comes the current UCTF Intergalactic Champion Raven Darc! The crowd gives him a huge reception as he comes out looking SERIOUS.*

Bob: Raven looks all business tonight!

*Indeed he does. After handing his belt to the time keeper he hops in the ring and eyeballs the ramp for his young opponent.*

Ralph: Think Raven has anything to say about the Fubuki/Miko fight tonight?

Bob: He made it very clear that he has NO COMMENT about that whole situation, Ralph.

Ralph: Cuz he’s whipped.

Bob: You gonna tell him that?

Ralph: Hell no

*Next up is “Links 2,3,4″ and out comes the seemingly reformed Military Brat(?) himself wearing a set of BLUE CAMO pants and jacket, Seth “Suicide” Conway! He’s all smiles and pumping up the still confused crowd ala Rocky Maivia.*

Ralph: ….

Bob: *ahem* And here comes Suicide.

Ralph: That’s debatable

*You can almost feel the tension building off of Raven. There is no love loss between these two. At least not on his side!*

DING!! DING!! DING!!

Raven vs. Suicide

*Seth comes right out of the corner with his hand extended and a smile on his face*

Suicide: May the best man win ^_^

Raven: You beat me with a nightstick you little shit! e__e

Suicide: o_o You’re still mad about that?

*Raven NAILS Seth with a clothesline that sends him FLIPPING 270 degrees and onto his stomach! The crowd winces and cheers at the same time as Seth lies assed out on the canvas!*

Bob: Whoa! Raven certainly not playing into the nice game!

*The IG Champ walks over and lifts Seth to his feet and starts cramming his fist down his throat in a repeated fashion. He HAMMERS Conway over to the corner and proceeds to mud stomp the kid down to the mat much to the delight of the crowd! After a good beating Raven picks Seth up off the ground and sends him into the opposite corner. Suicide hits the corner and comes back off with Raven heading RIGHT toward him with another clothesline! BUT-

*SMACCKK!!!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOHHHHHH!!

*Suicide, with all his dazed thought, reverses with a quick drop toe hold on the IG Champ! This does nothing more than PISS the champ off as he BOLTS up again and-*

*SMACCKK!!!*

*Runs into ANOTHER drop-toe-hold by the former Anime Champ! This time Seth even manages to hop up on the second rope to celebrate his latest face-plant.*

Suicide: ^__^ hoooooo!

Raven: >=|!!!

*Raven runs at Seth again who jumps off the second rope. Seth tucks and rolls underneath the champs 3rd clothesline attempt and gets back to his feet. Raven charges AGAIN and-*

*THUD!*

Suicide: o_o

Raven: >=)

*This time Raven BLOCKS the drop-toe-hold by planting his right foot forward to maintain his balance. He reaches down and latches onto Seth neck into a side head lock. He starts wrenching that shit like Randy Orton on crack rubbing his forearm into the military brat nose! Finally Suicide manages to back into the ropes and shoots Raven off of him. As Raven comes back Suicide pulls as drop down. Followed by a leapfrog and when Raven comes around for that third pass-*

*SMACCKK!!!*

Crowd: LMFAO!!!

*HE HITS A THIRD DROP-TOE-HOLD!! Raven powders out of the fucking ring holding his nose like its broken in five places. The crowd is laughing and cheering their asses off after that bizarre exchange.*

Bob: And the crowd is actually going wild for Suicide.

Ralph: -What is going on!? ;_;

*Seth is grinning like school girl in the ring, eating up all the face time he can get. But its not long before he forgets where the hell he is! Raven grabs the poor kid by his feet and DRAGS his ass to the outside! Raven wastes no time and whips Suicide into the guardrail, followed by another quick whip into the ring apron, then to the guardrail AGAIN! He whips Seth around like a rag doll between a rock and a hard place! The crowd is eating this up as well while Raven just mercilously slams the poor kid back and forth. Seth lower back is ACHING by the end of it and the rail is pushed back into the 5th row! Raven wipes his brow as Seth stumbles back from the rail and goes down to his knees in agony. Raven grabs the back of the kid neck and lifts him to his feet. From there the 6 demon wrestler body presses him OVER his head! A short run later Seth is LAUNCHED back into the ring over the top rope! *

Crowd: *POPS!!*

Bob: Now the crowd is thoroughly behind Raven!

Ralph: I guess that makes sense

*Raven climbs into the ring and is not content with just ending this thing right here. He picks Suicide back up and puts him in classic pile driver position. He lifts him all the way up into a power bomb! Seth starts tagging the demon in the face out of desperation. The shots throw Raven off guard and Suicide is able to roll down Raven back and attempt a pin!*

Bob: Nice move by Suicide but I don think Raven gonna topple!

*Bob’s right! Seth is on the mat holding Raven legs trying to knock him off balance by kicking his legs with all he worth. But Raven not going anywhere. He reaches down and grabs him by the neck lifting the former champion to his eye level.*

Suicide: o_o oh gee w-

*WHAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!*

*Before he can finish that sentence Raven drives him down to the mat with a vicious double hand choke slam. Raven covers!*

Ref: 1… 2 …..

*Suicide kicks out! Raven slaps his hand to the mat and gets back up. He lifts the kid back up from the mat in total control. But not for long as Seth swats his hands away and starts laying in second wind punches right to the half-demon face! Raven staggers back after 4 punches but quickly regains his composure and NAILS Seth with a hard knee to the midsection. Seth doubles over for a second but quickly nails Raven in the chest with a jumping drop kick!*

Bob: That came out of no where!!

Ralph: Why is the crowd cheering again!!?

*Ralph’s right! The crowd is goading Suicide to topple the big man who is staggering from the drop kick! Seth rears back and-*

*CRACK!!*

*Nails Raven with a powerful superkick! Though the big man almost pulls a matrix bend he is STILL on his feet! Finally, with even more encouragement from the fans, hits the ropes comes off and!*

*WHAAAMM!!!*

Crowd: OOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!

Bob: ENDLESS WALTZ!! ENDLESS WALTZ!!

Ralph: From out of NOWHERE!!

*Raven and Seth hit the floor from the move. But Raven has more taken out of him that he realized as he CAN take advantage of the move! He fights to shake off the effects of the superkick but can throw his arm over for the pin. The Ref starts a Ten Count!*

Ref: 3…… 4…….. .

Bob: Raven needs to capitalize, or at least get up! Or this will be a draw!

Ref: 5…….. 6 …………

*Raven starts to get to his feet. Only a few inches from ending this thing as Suicide is still laid out!*

Bob: This looks to be over OH WHAT THE HELL!?!?

*X and Recon hit the ring with chairs!!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Bob: I KNEW IT!! I KNEW IT WAS AN ACT!!

Ralph: oh thank God!! Everything makes sense again! ^_^

*The ref tries his damnedest to keep the young cadets away from the tired out Raven and even tries to pry one of the chairs away from them but he gets chased out of the ring by the two! Raven slowly crawls up trying to get to his feet and make a decent counter attack!*

Bob: This is WRONG!! Someone stop this dammit!!

Ralph: Seriously I was gonna lose it there if it kept up much longer.

*Raven makes it to his knees but is still dazed. Recon lifts up his chair and-*

Bob: NO NO

*SUICIDE GET UP AND PULLS IT OUT OF HIS HANDS!!*

Crowd: O___O!!

Bob: O___O!!

Ralph: *mouth agape!*

*Seth throws the chair out of the ring and runs over to the stunned X and pulls his chair away from him as well! He looks pissed for the first time in months!*

Suicide: >=|!! What the hell is wrong with you two!?

X: But we thought that- o_o

Suicide: That’s enough! You know I play fair when I in the ring!

Everyone: X_X_X_X

Suicide: You two get your asses back stage and I will deal with you when my match is over!

*X and Recon leave the ring leaving a very stunned crowd. The ref climbs back in the ring and Seth offers his hand to Raven.*

Suicide: Let’s finish this fair and square, Ryan. ^_^

Raven: o_o

Bob: never thought I’d see the day….

Ralph: *fetal position*

*Seth helps Raven to his feet and the two start circling like it a legit match for the first time. Both are tired but not out. They lock up into a classic tie up but Seth quickly uses his speed and ducks under the bigger man gripping him from behind. Raven reaches back and snaps on a side headlock. Seth spins out of it and gets to his knees sweeping Raven leg out from under him. Seth goes for a quick cover!*

Ref: 1……

*Raven forces the kid off him after one! Raven gets back up and tries to land a shuffle side kick to Seth jaw. Seth ducks under and kicks the IG champ in the gut bending him over! He smiles and hits the ropes fast coming off with his patented axe kick! The crowd has one thing to say!*

Crowd: ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!

Suicide: *^^*

*Setting Raven up again he hits the ropes again and comes down for a SECOND axe kick! But this time Raven stands back up letting that powerful kick float right by! He spins the kid around and locks on a reverse Russian leg sweep position!*

Bob: Endless W- NO

*Raven goes for his finisher again but before he can Seth swats his arm away spinning Raven back to him! Seth uses all his strength and lifts Raven up into a Fireman carry!*

Bob: Coutmarsha- NO!!

*But Raven slips out of that, landing on his feet behind Suicide who promptly turns around and CHOPS the big man in the chest! Raven returns the favor! They trade chops back and forth for about 10 hits until Raven gets the upper hand with his strength and forces Seth into a corner. He leans back and nails the young marine in the jaw with his elbow!*

Bob: Raven setting up for something BIG here!*

*The crowd goes nuts as Raven sets the former Anime champ up on the top rope for a superplex! Raven throws his arm over and hooks the kid fatigues, gives a tug but it’s no go! Seth is holding on for dear life and starts tagging the big man in the ribs. Raven lets go from the shots and Suicide starts punching Raven in the face! Raven starts reeling on the top rope then Seth sets himself up!*

*SMAAACKK!!!*

Crowd: OOOOOHHHHHHHH!!

Bob: What a MOVE!

*Balancing himself on his hands Suicide delivers a jumping spin kick to the side of Raven head! Seth tumbles to the apron as a result, but the huge demon wrestler hits the mat with a HUGE crash. Shaking things off Suicide ascends the ropes again and goes to put him away!*

Bob: SMARTBOMB!! SMARTBOMB!!

*Suicide NAILS his top rope finisher! He covers and hooks Raven leg!*

Ref: 1 .2 3!!

DING DING DING!!

*The match is over and despite the actual pop the crowd is stunned. r. Nice Guy Suicide just beat the IG Champ fair and SQUARE!*

Bob: Suicide picks up a HUGE win here tonight! Ralph you’ve been quiet what do you have to say?

Ralph: *curled on the floor* so c-cold. X_x

Bob As I said, Suicide picks up the win!

*He lifts his hand in the air as Raven still dazed gets up to his knees. Suicide reaches down and shakes the champs hand who looks on still confused. Impressed but still confused.*

Winner: Suicide

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the ring at this time… MISTER WILLY WONKA!

*The lights dim, and what sounds like a 70′s electronic funk version of the Willy Wonka theme starts up, prompting nearly a dozen Oompa Loompas, all dressed in the metallic outfits from the recent remake of the movie, all come out, carrying the weapons to be used in the upcoming match! There are bales of candy canes, large sheets of gingerbread, boxes of what look like Nerds candy and wheelbarrows filled with marshmallows and other candy!*

Ralph: o_o… uhhh… This totally isn’t what I remember

*As the Oompa Loompas all head down the aisle and surround the ring, setting up the weapons, the curtain parts and Willy Wonka himself (the Johnny Depp one, so we’re all clear here) steps out from behind it, cane in his hand, holding his top hat! He saunters down to the ring, steps through the ropes, and takes the mic from Arzie. The Oompa Loompas are STILL piling up the candy weapons at ringside*

Wonka: Thank you, thank you ALL here, and I would like to welcome you all to the SECOND ever Hansel and Gretel match here in the UCTF, and of all time!

Bob: The first one took place back in April 1 of 2001!

Ralph: So we have a re-match… of an April fool’s day match!?

Bob: Second ever!

Wonka: Before we begin tonight, I would like to say a few words… due to what happened over five years ago in the first match up, and being the sponsor and supplier of tonight’s match, I am stipulating that my Oompa Loompas will REMAIN at ringside as enforcers for this match up! I WILL NOT HAVE INTERFERENCE IN MY MATCH TONIGHT!

*the crowd gives a nice pop for that! Wonka, however, in the ring is giggling!*

Wonka: Oh, I’m so excited! I haven’t been this excited ever since I went on the “small world” ride at Disneyland!! ^_^

Crowd: o_o

Wonka: All those wonderful children singing and playing and playing…

*he starts slowing down*

Wonka: ….and singing… H_H

Bob: Oh hell no

Ralph: GET HIM OUT OF THERE

*RIGHT as Wonka’s hand is going into the front of his pants, UCTF security is IMMEDIATELY on him, subduing him!*

Wonka: YOU CAN’T DO THIS!! I SPONSORED THIS MATCH!!! YOU’LL HEAR FROM MY LAWYERS!!!

*Wonka is carried off kicking and screaming as Arzie re-enters the ring*

Bob: *Whew* That was close.

Ralph: I hope we NEVER have to have one of these again.

*As Arzie climbs in, “Still a Secret” is keyed up, drawing a nice reaction from the fans as Chibi Venus makes her way down to the ring, smiling and winking and tweaking noses of the fans!*

Ralph: And look who’s back!

*As she climbs into the ring, “Honey” started booming over the speakers, also gartering a nice reaction from the crowd as Dominique Cross makes her way down the aisle, looking INCREDIBLY excited by the candy! The Oompa loompas practically have to FORCE her to get in the ring!*

Dominique: CANDYCANDYCANDYCANDY!!!

Ooompa Loompas: >_<!!!

*they FINALLY get her into the ring, and the ref calls for the bell!*

*DING, DING, DING!!*

Chibi Venus vs Dominque Cross

Hansel and Gretel Match II

*as SOON as the bell rings, Venus and Dominique charge the center of the ring, fists and limbs flying! The two strike each other a few times, but their quickness on both sides is causing them both to be dodging each other! Venus swings her fists wildly, then swings with a roundhouse kick, JUST missing Dominique’s head! Dominique swings, and BACKHANDS AT into the corner!*

Venus: >_< !

*Venus looks down to the outside, where an Oompa Loompa is holing a length of Nerds Rope! AT reaches down and SNATCHES it out of his hand! She turns to Dominque, who’s charging head-first at her! Venus, though, slingshots herself over Dominque, and spins around, WHIPPING her with the nerds rope!*

Dominique: @___@_@_@_@_@

*Venus’s repeatedly whipping her with the rope, then laces it around her neck, and starts to strangle her with it! She drags Dominique near the ropes, leaning her on the second rope, and yells to the Oompa Loompas again! Several of them congregate, all welding bales of large candy canes!*

!!!!SMASSSHHH!!!

*They all start repeatedly SMASHING the candy canes over Dominique’s head! They get off a couple before Dominque fights Venus off, and pushes herself back towards the center of the ring, holding her head!*

Ralph: Is Venus controlling the Oomopa Loompas??

Bob: I’m sure that if need be, they’ll help out Dominique too

Ralph: Why?

Bob: That’s the JOB of a lumberjack in this kind of match! >=|

*Dominique is brushing the candy scraps out of her hair, and in finding her hands are covered in sticky sugar… starts LICKING the candy off them!*

Dominique: @______^________^!!! CANDYDANYDNADYDNADN

*She KIPS UP to her feet, and SPINS towards Venus, knocking her back into the corner again! She charges at her, and this time DOESN’T miss, and runs up Venus’s body, and starts STOMPING her in the face all the way to the mat!*

Dominique: CANDAYDNADNDADNAYDN*STOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMP*

Venus: AJSAKJAKLFJSLFSLFJFSLKJSFLFSJ

*with one final stomp, Venus’s head is driven to the mat! Dominique pulls her up quickly, and grabs her into a bear hug position! She then starts SPINNING around with Venus in her arms! She lets go of her, and Venus goes flopping to the ground again!*

Venus: X_X_X_X_X

Bob: Dominique taking control here!

Ralph: Yeah at what cost?

*Dominique is woozy, and falls through the ropes to the outside! She looks to one of the oompa loompas nearby, and sees he’s holding a bucket!

Dominique: ooooo GIMMIE

*She snatches the bucket from him, and slides into the ring! She looks into the bucket and squeals again!*

Dominique: CHOCOLATE!!!

*She tips over the bucket and starts dumping chocolate chips all over the ring! She’s running in circles, COVERING the mat, then eventually overturns it over her head, dumping the rest into her mouth!*

Dominique: CANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDY

*She dashes around over to Venus, who’s just now getting up to her feet! As soon as she grabs Venus, she WHIPS a handful of the chips into Dominique’s face! Dominique holds her face for a moment, then is nearly yanked off her feet as Venus just grabs and RIPS off her oversized jacket to the roar of the crowd! Dominique’s now exposed as wearing a tight blue top and shorts!*

Ralph: YES!!! PUPPIES!!!

Bob: This isn’t boding well for Dominique!

Ralph: It’s boding well for ME!

*Venus grabs Dominique from behind, and quickly lifts her up off the ground into a back suplex! Dominique comes crashing down on her back, and starts SCREAMING in pain as she rolls over and the chocolate chips are now STICKING out of her back!*

Ralph: WHAT THE HELL!?

Bob: Well that was… unexpected! On the other hand, why WOULDN’T we expect this!?

Ralph: They’re CHOCOLATE CHIPS!! She was just EATING them!!

Bob: AND THE LAST TIME WE HAD EXPLODING MARSHMALLOWS WHAT’S YOUR POINT

*Venus takes the moment to catch her breath, then slides out of the ring to grab a chair that’s been constructed out of Jolly Ranchers! In the meantime she snaps at the Oompa Loompas, and they start setting up a table made completely out of chocolate on the outside, and stacking candy canes on it!*

Bob: Oh this isn’t going to end well. Not at ALL.

*Venus slides into the ring with the chair, and goes after Dominique with it! Dominique ducks the shot though, and bounces off the ropes! Venus tries for it again, but again she misses and Dominique bounces off the ropes again! This time, though, she picks up speed and just as Venus turns around…*

!!!!BLAAAAAOOOWWW!!!!

Crowd: OOOOOHHH!!!!

*She DRILLS Venus in the face with a boot that goes THROUGH the chair, leaving a hole! Venus hits the mat, staggered from the shot! Dominique brushes herself off, and grabs a fistful of the candy littering the mat and dumps it into her mouth!*

Dominique: ^_^_^_^_^%_^_^_^_^____^_^_^_^!!!!!

*She does a cute little ballerina spin before turning to Venus,

!!!SMASSSHHH!!!

*And gets the remainder of the Jolly Rancher chair smashed over her head, knocking her down! Venus throws the shards to the ground, then points to the table on the outside! She starts lifting up Dominique!*

Bob: Oh this isn’t going to end well.

*Mustering her last bit of strength, she lifts Dominique HIGH above her head…*

Venus: RRAAAAUUUGGHHH!!!

*and runs to PITCH her over the top rope! However, Dominique slides out of her hands, and drops down over the top rope, to the floor! In the process, she grabs Venus’s neck, and drops her with a sloppy-looking Stun Gun on the top rope, sending Venus flipping back into the chip-filled ring!*

Bob: THAT was close!

Ralph: Dominique almost went FLYING into the… uh… pit of sugar death I guess you could call it o_o

*Dominique is getting her bearings, and grabs another jolly rancher chair, and throws it over the top rope into the ring, near Venus! She jumps up onto the apron, and then starts playing to the crowd, who give her a nice pop!*

Dominique: ^____^!!!

*She grabs the top rope, and jumps on top of it for a springboard! However, as SOON as her feet touch the rope…*

Venus: >=|!!!

!!!!!BLAAAOOOWWWW!!!!

*Venus just CHUCKS the chair at Dominique’s face…*

!!!!!CRASSSHHH!!!!!!!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

*And it knocks Dominique BACKWARDS and through the table covered with candy canes! The shards go flying EVERYWHERE, and Dominique is OUT!*

Ralph: WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM!?!?

Bob: A Last-Ditch effort by Chibi Venus may have just saved the match for her!

*Dominique is NOT MOVING in the rubble, and Venus climbs out of the ring, and throws her back in! Venus flips up the apron and starts searching around!*

Bob: What’s she doing NOW?? All the weapons are already outside!

*She re-emerges, with HUGE gloves on, and holding a giant piece of broccoli!*

Ralph: THAT’S what!

Bob: And five years later, it all STILL comes full circle!

*Venus climbs into the ring, and grabs Dominique by her hair! She takes the broccoli and STUFFS it into her mouth! Then as a final insult, she picks up Dominque, and gives her a stunner, causing her to bite down and send a hunk of the broccoli down her throat! Dominique starts CONVULSING on the mat! The ref bends down, checking on her, and…*

Ref: THAT’S IT! SHE CAN’T CONTINUE! RING IT!!

!!!DING, DING, DING!!!

*”Still a Secret” starts playing again, as the ref raises Venus’ hand up high!*

Ralph: I don’t know what to make of that, honestly.

Bob: Ralph, it was a hardcore match with candy. Why WOULDN’T it end with Broccoli?

WINNER: Chibi Venus

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen.. The following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is a PREVIEW, for the First Annual April Fools Day “One Sided Fight” Extravaganza!!!

Ralph: What the hell??

Tckt… tckt… tckt.. Tckt…

*”Testing” By CKY kicks up, which is almost engulfed by a collective ROARING explosion of laughter from the crowd, that fills the night sky!*

Ralph: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! ONE SIDED X_X YOU GOT THAT RIGHT! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Bob: oh no.. it’s THIS match x_x

Ralph: AHAHAHAHAH ONE SI–AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*The Raging Idiot, SSS walks from behind the curtain with the look on his face that can only be described as “A normal assed human being about to fight Jeice” slowly saunters down to the ring! Hey, would YOU want to rush what might be the biggest beating of your post-professional career?! I know I wouldn’t!*

Bob: You.. You got to give this man credit.. He’s a man of his word! He’s going through with the match!

Ralph: HAHAHAA–*CHOKING* AHASDHHAHAHAHAH! ONE SIDED! THAT’S RICH! If you guys thought that Sano/Jann Lee match was short, don’t go to the bathroom! This one’s going to be over quicker than Britney Spears’ last trip to Rehab! AHAHAHAHAHAHA–

*Inside the ring, SSS turns to see what noise is making his ears ringing, and it’s Ralph bent backwards with his mouth WIDE open. Yeah, he’s laughing THAT hard!*

SSS: Jesus Tap-dancing Christ. -_-

Arzie: INTRODUCING FIRST, FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA… HE IS THE RETIRED RETARDED RISKTAKER… SHAWNNNNNNN SHANEEEE SHIEEELLLLDDDSSSSSS!!!

Ralph: DEAD MAN WALKING! DEAD MAN WALKING!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Bob: Ok, would you cool out with the Taz circa 2003 style of Commentating?

*Prodigy’s “Serial Thrilla” starts up next to a staggering ovation! Jeice steps onto the ramp, transitioned from his normal Presidential Suit into an all black with white stripes Track Suit with a matching cap and sweat towel! On the back of his Track Code, the words “THE JEICE EXPERIENCE” is embroidered into the fabric!*

Jeice: =D!!

Bob: and he wonders why he’s being sued so much! LOOK AT THAT COAT!

Arzie: And Introducing next… Now Residing in Las Vegas, Nevada… He is the former two time, and GREATEST ANIME CHAMPION THAT HAS EVER LIVED… HE IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UCTF.. THE ORANGE CRUSHER… JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Ralph: GREATEST ENTRANCE OF THE NIGHT RIGHT THERE! GREATEST ENTRANCE OF THE NIGHT!

Bob: … *sighs*

Jeice vs. SSS

(Or, Watch Blue Haired Guy get owned again)

!!DING DING DING!!

Ralph: THE GREATEST ONE SIDED BOUT IN THE HISTORY OF THE UCTF HAS BEGUN!

Jeice: Alright Kid, let’s get this over wi—

!!HEY JEICE!!

Jeice: …

!!HEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY JEEEIICCCEEEE!!

*That slimy, graveling voice can only belong to one person, and it’s someone that Jeice or the UCTF hasn’t seen in a number of years! Sitting right in the front row, wearing an “Auntie Anne’s” pretzel hat from the concession stands is the big blue goofball known as Burter!*

Jeice: …

Burter: HEY JEICE!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUU!!! YOU SUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!

*The complete RANDOMNESS of it all confuses the President, who is now left wide open for SSS to ROLL HIM UP INTO A SCHOOL BOY!*

Ref: 1………… 2…………….. 2.99999999999999999999999

*The surprised President is back to his feet before SSS, and is shocked that he was literally just .00000000000001 of a second away from being pinned in the first Singles Match in his career! …He’s not happy. e_e*

Jeice: >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SSS: LOL FU–

*SSS ducks the western lariat before sliding out of the ring! He has to break out the old school heel tactics for this one! Running ALL the way around the ring with Jeice just a BREATH away from him, he pulls out the oldest heel trick in the book! He slides back into the ring, and greets the following Orange Crusher with several boots to the back! …Unfortunately, those hits to the Orange Crusher are the equivalent to being hit by a gnat! It’s WORTHLESS! Jeice catches one of SSS’s kicks–*

Bob: OH GOD NO

*Before FLIPPING SSS backwards with the lightest of flicks of his wrist, sending the Toothless Indy wrestler flat on his face!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOHHHH X_x

*He’s back up, holding his aching nose, and possibly through the miracle of Jesus Christ himself, ducks a SECOND Western Lariat attempt! Rolling behind the President, SSS rolls him up for a SECOND time, this time using a hand full of tights AND the top rope for added leverage!*

Ref: 1…………. 2…………… 2.999999999999999999999999!!!

*Jeice kicks out again! Diving for SSS to kill the bastard, he misses as the Game WISELY gets the fuck out of the ring!*

Crowd: LOLLOLLOLLOL X_x

Bob: SSS WITH TWO NEAR FALLS WITHIN A MINUTE!

Ralph: IS HE TRYING TO DIE?! IS HE TRYING TO DIE!? >=| JUST TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A MAN!

Bob: MAYBE HE CAN BEAT JEICE BY OUTSMARTING HIM!

Ralph: DID HEERO INJURE YOUR BRAIN WHEN HE CHOKED YOU OUT? >=| SSS IS FIGHTING THE GREATEST HEEL IN UCTF HISTORY! OUTSMART HIM?! >=|

Jeice: You’re Starting to Piss me off, Kid!

SSS: *POSES* =D!!!!!

*Jeice damn near LEAPS over the top rope in attempt to grab SSS, who slides back into the ring BETWEEN the Orange Crusher’s legs! Now back to back, SSS locks Jeice’s arms, before falling forward into the BACKSLIDE FROM HEAVEN!*

Jeice: O_O!!!

Bob: BACKSLIDE FROM HEAVEN!! BACKSLIDE FROM HEAVEN!!!

Ref: 1…….. 2……………. 2.999999999999!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob: ANOTHER NEAR FALL X_X

Ralph: ……………………

*THAT’S IT. Seconds after the Blue Haired Bastard leaps out of the ring, Jeice attempts to take his head off with a Sliding Dropkick to the outside of the ring! Once again, SSS’s Guardian Angel pushes him under the kick, INCHES from being decapitated!*

Jeice: SDLKFJASDLFKADSJFLJ!!

SSS: >_<

*The former Champ crawls under the ring like a COMPLETE bitch! I’m serious! HE’S GONE.*

Jeice: ………

Ralph: OH COME THE HELL ON. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!

Bob: Ralph! We’re on regular Tv!

Ralph: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. I WANTED A MURDERING AND I’M NOT GETTING IT.

*And Shields is NOT coming back up! Seconds turn to minutes, as the President circles the ring!*

Ralph: IS HE JUST GOING TO STAY UNDER THERE?!

Bob: WHO KNOWS! HOW LONG CAN SSS POSSIBLY HIDE BEFORE JEICE JUST DESTROYS THE RING??? WE’LL BE BACK AFTER A COMMERCIAL BREAK!

*we see the backstage area of the UCTF arena, where Steve and Brian Babaganoush come to the back after a strenuous dark match!*

Steve: Man, ANOTHER loss! That’s our 767th one! We’re NEVER going to win!

Brian: Ahhh, it’s cool, bro!

Steve: COOL!?! WE’VE BEEN WRESTLING FOR YEARS AND WE’VE NEVER WON A MATCH! NOBODY EVEN REMEMBERS OUR NAMES!!! WE HAVE GENERIC BLACK TIGHTS!? HOW CAN IT BE COOL!?

Brian: Because dude…. I had Reese’s for breakfast!

Steve: O_____O!

*suddenly the background EXPLODES into mid-90′s colors and shapes flying across the screen!*

Steve: CANDY!?! FOR BREAKFAST!?!?

Brian: NOT CANDY!!!!

*He pulls out a HUGE bowl filled with cereal!*

Brian: REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER PUFFS!

*he THROWS the bowl at Steve, who catches the WHOLE DAMN THING in his mouth and crunches down on it! His eyes bug out of his head!*

Steve: WOW!!!!!!!!!

*The two of them converge in the middle of the screen!*

Steve & Brian: REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER PUFFS! IT’S CANDY, FOR BREAKFAST!!!!

*Back in the arena, Jeice is chillin at ring side, signing autographs for the fans. I mean, what else is he gonna do? Shawn hasn’t been seen since BEFORE the commercial break!*

Bob: ……..We’re back folks.

Ralph: He’s still under the ring. e_e You guys didn’t miss anything at all.

Bob: You’d almost think that SSS is TRYING to stink up the place tonight with his lackluster performance!

Jeice: e_e so who do you want me to make this out to?

Man: My son V–Uhh, sir, something’s happening on the other side of the ring.

*All the way across the ring, Shawn is FINALLY crawling from underneath the ring! The fans, now livid and in DIRE need of seeing this blue haired punk’s blood splattered all over the arena, SCREAM for Jeice’s attention! Jeice is no normal Face wrestler, he’ll actually PAY ATTENTION when the fans yell at him in unison!*

Jeice: E_E!

Ralph: HERE WE GO! Murdering time!

SSS: WILL YOU GUYS SHUT THE FU –OH SHIT GOTTA GO!

*A half second before the Orange Crusher, who’s now back in the squared circle, shows up, SSS goes RIGHT BACK UNDER THE RING!*

Jeice: OH GIVE ME A BLOODY BREAK! >=|.

Ralph: JUST PICK UP THE RING JEICE! YOU’RE SUPER POWERED!

Bob: ..that would be a pretty good idea…

Jeice: LOOK, I don’t want to have to pick up this ENTIRE RING, BUT I WILL! AND MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR POOR SOUL IF YOUR DILLY DALLYING AROUND CAUSES THIS SHOW TO GO OVER IT’S ALLOTTED TIME SLOT TONIGHT. E_E! GET OUT FROM UNDERNEATH THE RING!

Bob: Uh oh! Sounds like Jeice has finally had enough of–OH GOD NO, DON’T BE AN IDIOT!

*While the annoyed president focuses his full attention to the outside of the ring, Shawn slips back in from behind, holding a Baker’s dozen of Light tubes, tied together with an extension chord! Either years of being slammed on his head has diluted the former UCTF Champion into thinking this will bare ANY effect on Jeice whatsoever, or he just doesn’t care… Whatever the reason is, SSS NAILS the president from behind with the light tube structure!*

!!CRASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHH!!

*Jeice slowly turns around, looking at the shards of glass around the ring, and the smoking gun… The broken lighttube stubs still in The Game’s hand…*

SSS: ……….

Jeice: ……….o_o Did you just…

*He slowly reaches into his hair, and pulls out a shard of glass*

Jeice: ………………

*Lightly brushing it, dust from the broken lighttube falls to the mat. DUST.*

Jeice: *WORST GLARE IN HIS CAREER*

SSS: *BIGGEST MISTAKE IN HIS CAREER*

Ralph: *BIGGEST GRIN IN HIS CAREER*

*Oh God why didn’t SSS just take his initial beating like a man!? The poor bastard turns to run out of the ring again, but this time, Jeice has already ONE-PATTERNED in front of him, meeting the now full speed moving Shields with a DEVASTATING Western Lariat! SSS hits the canvas face first with SUCH force that he’s knocked BACK to his feet! Jeice is already there behind him, lifting the poor kid onto his shoulders! Without a second to think, SSS is already dropped on his back with a back breaking Electric Chair Drop! Jeice keeps it locked on, as he rolls through, standing himself back up with SSS still on his shoulders!*

Jeice: >=| YOU LIKE MESSING UP HAIR?!

*SSS is brought down for a SECOND Electric Chair Drop! Jeice rolls through, standing back up with SSS STILL on his shoulders!*

Bob: oh my god..

*Jeice throws SSS down into a reverse Electric Chair, bringing the poor bastard FACE FIRST on the canvas! Jeice ROLLS FORWARD, almost breaking SSS’s back in the process, before standing back to his feet.. STILL holding onto the retired Shields! He throws SSS backwards into the BACKDROP DRIVER!*

Crowd: *TURNS* X_X

*Jeice ROLLS THROUGH AGAIN! Standing back to his feet, he uses the fierce momentum to hit a SPINNING URANAGE SUPLEX! SSS of course, reacts like a student from Curt Hennig’s school of overselling, a.k.a. flopping around like a fucking fish out of water!*

SSS: X_X_X!

Jeice: YOU LIKE FUCKING UP HAIR HUH?!!?

Ralph: SAY IT.

Bob: S..Somebody..

Ralph: IF YOU DON’T FUCKING SAY IT E_E

Bob: SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!!!!!

*SSS INSTINCTIVELY rolls out of the fucking ring, after being slammed approximately 2348348 times in a span of .00000000001 seconds! Jeice is right behind him, however, and he’s talking shit the ENTIRE time!*

Jeice: SO YOU WANNA MESS UP MY EVENT HUH?! YOU WANNA HIDE UNDER THE RING AND TRY TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT?! YOU WANNA POSE ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING?!!? WELL HERE, GET UNDERNEATH THE RING AGAIN! I’LL HELP YOU E_E!

*Using his Z Strength, Jeice tosses SSS back under the ring.. But unfortunately for the Game, the throw is a little TOO strong. Strong enough to send SSS flying through the OPPOSITE side of the ring apron and into the fan protective railings on the other side! His skull cracks open in the process, spewing out PINTS of blood all over the place like a Mel Gibson/Tarantino Collaboration movie!*

SSS: OH GOD!! OH GOD!!!! OH GODDDDDD

Jeice: WHOOPS, A LITTLE TOO HARD HUH!?

Bob: oh.. My.. GOD!

Ralph: YES! YES!! YES THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WANTING TO SEE!

*SSS is back to his feet with the aid of the dented Railing… He should have stayed down x_x! Jeice literally FLIES around the ring in a blur of orange ki, before delivering the BIGGEST ballshot in the history of the UCTF! SSS flies OVER the top rope and lands in the center of the ring!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH X_X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob: LOW BLOW LOW BLOW LOW BLOW!!

Ralph: LMFAO!! SOMEONE GET A SURGEON! SSS’S BALLS ARE IN HIS CHEST!

*Back in the ring, Jeice stands over his downed opponent.*

Jeice: e_e Alright, I’ve made my point. Make your ten count, ref.

Ref: yes sir x_x

Bob: Whew.. He’s going to let it end here. Thank God.. I can’t see SSS taking much more of Jeice’s offense.

Ralph: ah man =(.. It was fun while it lasted, I guess.

*While the ref is making his ten count, The president, now with a microphone speaks to the crowd–*

Jeice: So guys, we’re running a vote on the UCTF.com Webpage right now.. How good was Shawn’s ass beating at the hands at the President? Polls are open now so hurry up and g— Hey, ref, why aren’t you counting? e_e

Ref: *points*

*Jeice turns around to see that SSS is BACK UP TO HIS FEET. Yeah, he’s holding onto the top rope, but he’s beat the ten count! Slowly.. He raises his right arm..*

Jeice: ……don’t you do it!

*He lifts his fist*

Jeice: DON’T YOU FUCKING DO IT.

*AND FLIPS JEICE OFF*

Ralph: YOU FUCKING

Bob: IDIOT!

*Jeice: CLOTHESLINES HIS DAMN HEAD OFF!*

SSS: X_X_X_X_X!!

Ralph: WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST STAY DOWN YOU IDIOT?!

Bob: BECAUSE HE’S A MORON! JUST LAY DOWN AND LET THE MATCH END, YOU IDIOT!

*Jeice CATCHES SSS’s flipping body in midair, hooking his arm, he turns SSS upside down into the stalling vertical suplex position!*

Bob: THIS DOESN’T LOOK GOOD!

*But instead of dropping backwards, Jeice turns it into the ORANGE CRUSHER PIN! The center of the ring embeds, almost causing the ring to implode on itself!*

Bob: THAT’S IT! HIS BACK IS BROKEN!

Ralph: YEP!

Ref: 1………….. 2…………………. O_O

*Jeice LIFTS SSS’s shoulders off the mat!*

Bob: oooh no.. X_x OH NO.

*Jeice picks him up AGAIN!*

Bob: I GUESS ONE ORANGE CRUSH WASN’T ENOUGH X_X

*SSS won’t let it happen again, however, he slips out of the vertical suplex, somehow landing on his feet! He quickly digs into his cargo pants, pulling out a GIANT baggy of salt! He spins around, CONNECTING it with Jeice’s eyes! The Orange Crusher Sells it violently! He hits the canvas back first like he’s just been hit by an 18 wheeler, and rolls around the ring in PURE agony!*

Everyone: O_O!!

Bob: OH MY GOD!!

Ralph: ASL;DFKJASD;FLKJ WHAT ?!!? THAT FUCKING BAG OF SALT?!!? WHAT THE HELL?!

Bob: HE’S BLINDED JEICE! HE’S BLINDED JEICE! SSS HAS A CHANCE OF WINNING!!

Ralph: >=| WHAT?!?! NO THIS ISN’T BULLSHIT. JEICE WILL NOT JOB TO A BAG OF FUCKING ROCK SALT!

*NONE THE LESS, the bloody mess known as Shawn Shane Shields is now digging under the ring! The first thing he pulls out? A LIVE BOARD WITH LIT LIGHT TUBES!*

Bob: OH GOD. OH GOD! THAT’S WHAT HE WAS DOING UNDER THE RING! HE WAS BUILDING SHIT TO USE AGAINST JEICE! X_X

*ANOTHER BOARD WITH BROKEN GLASS AND SALT*

Ralph: .. Oh shit.. o_o..

*Now that it’s in the ring, SSS then runs to the ramp, and from underneath it pulls out a TWENTY FIVE FOOT FUCKING LADDER!*

Ralph: … how damn long has he been planning this?!!?

Bob: I .. I don’t know!

*After setting it up, SSS goes back to the ramp and pulls out a SECOND TWENTY FIVE FOOT FUCKING LADDER! (That’s the name of the company “FUCKING LADDER”)*

Bob: A SECOND?!!?

*Meanwhile, Jeice is STILL writhing around in pain!*

Burter: *eating popcorn* LMFAO!! THIS IS RICH X_X

*SSS has set the ladders up, who then returns to the apron, he pulls out.. A TABLE!*

Bob: And as if the glass, the salt, the light tubes and the electric wiring weren’t enough, he’s got a TABLE. What in the FUCK does he want with the table?!

Ralph: Bob, we’re on free tv!

Bob: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! >=|

*Shawn places the table on the top rung of both the ladders, turning it into a makeshift bridge!*

Bob: … he’s not.. Don’t tell me he’s going to..

*With that trademark “SHIT EATING GRIN” he carries so well, SSS slowly picks the President back to his feet, who in return, bitch slaps the TASTE out of SSS’s mouth! Jeice was FAKING THE ENTIRE TIME!*

Jeice: I can’t believe you FELL for that! >=|

Shawn: O_O but.. The salt!

Jeice: I CLOSED MY EYES. PRO WRESTLING IS FAKE, DUMB ASS!

*Shawn swings desperately ONE last time! Jeice easily ducks, wraps his arms around SSS’s waist, and flies thirty feet in the air!*

Jeice: ORE GA JEICE!!!!!!!!!! >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Jeice turns the backdrop driver into a CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE TABLE, THROUGH THE EXPOSED LIGHT TUBES, AND INTO THE BROKEN SHARDS OF GLASS WITH SALT*

Crowd: SLDKFJASDLFKDJFL!!

Bob: SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!! SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!!

Ralph: *CHOKING WITH LAUGHTER*

Ref: 1………….. 2…………. 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*AND JUST FOR ADDED RANDOMNESS, SSS IS NOW ON FIRE!*

SSS: OH GOD, I’M ON FIRE! I’M ON FIRE!

Jeice: e_e get that whore AT to put you out, punk. e_e.

Bob: JEICE WINS! JEICE WINS!

Ralph: …Jeice… sold that salt so well, I was actually convinced SSS had a chance o_o…

*Okok, I’m nice, firemen come out and put SSS out, while Jeice walks away to Prodigy’s “Serial Thrilla!” And for the record, he’s STILL undefeated in single’s action!*

Winner: LOL Like you guys don’t know e_e

Arzie: The Following, is the BATTLE OF THE NINJAS match, and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first… Hailing from Tokyo, Japan and currently residing in the Masenka Complex in ANIME CITY-

Crowd: *HUGE POP*

*The Crowd’s cheer’s are silenced when “Akaikajitsu” by SATTIN kicks up, bringing out not their beloved former Two Time Grand Champion, but Fubuki Kai!*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!!!! >=|!!

Arzie: –Standing at Five Feet, Five Inches.. And weighing in at 110lbs… She is a Former UCTF Tag Team and Anime Champion, and self proclaimed master of EVERY form of Ninjitsu known to man… FUUUUUBUUUKIIIII KAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

*The Self-Taught Kunoichi doesn’t react to the announcement of her credentials. She stays completely focused, eyes deadlocked at the entrance, awaiting her opponent.*

Bob: It’s The Evil Jealous Bitch Best Friend of Miko Mido!

Ralph: WAY TO STAY IMPARTIAL BOB! NO, SERIOUSLY! THAT WAS GREAT! Do you blame her for thinking she’s been in Miko’s Shadow for Years?! How many Grand Title matches did she get offered?! She was a former Anime AND Tag Team Champion!

Bob: None the less, she has something to prove!

Ralph: Something to prove! SOMETHING TO PROVE!? >=| YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT!!! SHE BEATS MIKO HERE AT THE 200TH SHOW AND SHE PROVES THAT SHE’S THE BETTER WOMAN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!

Bob: o_o

Ralph: NO I’M NOT GONNA CALM DOWN!

Bob: I didn’t say a damn word!

*As Akaikajitsu dies down, the fans are greeted with a few moments of pure silence, before the haunting sound of a single Shakuhachi flute begins playing “Taniguchi-Kumoijishi.” As the echoing sound of the wooden instrument fills the arena, several men of japanese descent, all wearing black shades to match their equally black suits slowly march from the back, all equipped with sheathed swords.*

Ralph: What the hell is THIS?!

*As the unnamed men surround the ring, Fubuki Kai barely gives them a glance, as she’s full aware that Miko’s simply playing mind games with her… Slowly, the Shakuhachih stops playing, and after a few more seconds of silence, Evanescence’s “Weight of the World” begins playing. Miko Mido, dressed in full Kimono garb slowly walks out, being escorted by two more suited men to a HUGE ovation!*

Arzie: And introducing next, Hailing from Tokyo, Japan and currently residing in the Masenka Complex in ANIME CITY.. Standing at five feet, six inches, and weighing in at 125lbs… She is only two time UCTF Grand Champion in the HISTORY of the organization… MIIIIIIIIKKKKOOOOO MIIIDDDDDOOOOO!

*The two Escorts remove Miko’s Kimono, revealing Miko’s custom-fit fishnet catsuit!*

Ralph: oh god.. Oh God I miss that uniform.. A lot x_x. BUT LOOK AT THIS E_E Fubuki had a simple ring entrance, and here comes Miko Mido, using up five minutes just to get to the ring, and having like 15 guys escort her down! Talk about Egos! >=|

*Miko FINALLY enters the ring, and stares into the ice cold blue eyes of her opponent!*

!!DING D–

*Fubuki springs forward at the sound of the bell, thrusting a forearm into Miko’s jaw that knocks the former Grand Champion into the corner!*

Bob: Fubuki on the attack not even a SECOND into the match!

*Fubuki fires away with a stiff roundhouse right with her leg, followed by a left! Miko catches the leg on the second strike, before sprinting out of the corner, sending Fubuki flying with a spinning Dragon Screw leg whip! Fubuki prepares for the move, however, as she rolls through the whip! They both kip up at the same time without hesitation! A half a second later, she lunges towards Miko again, connecting with a drop kick! Miko isn’t down for a complete second before kipping right back up to her feet! Fubuki attacks again, going for a high spinning roundhouse! Miko ducks, and takes her best friend’s leg out a low spin kick! Fubuki goes down, and kips back up less than a second later! Miko misses a lariat, and now finds herself locked around the waist! Fubuki throws Miko backwards with a Bridged release German Suplex! Miko flips out of it, landing on her feet. Fubuki, bent backwards into a back bridge throws her legs into the air just as Miko sprints towards her and locks them around the former Grand Champion’s neck! Fubuki tries to send Miko flying face first with a leg scissors, but Miko forces her center of gravity low with a horseback riding stance! Kai is in trouble now, as Miko uses her inhuman strength to lift Fubuki onto her shoulders! Spinning Fubuki’s lightweight body around, Miko now has her set up for the powerbomb! She tosses Fubuki down with tremendous force, only for the ninja to reverse it into the hurricanrana mid-flight! Fubuki lands on her feet with cat-like agility! The Former Grand Champion flips over from the momentum, only to throw her arms down and turn the momentum into a cartwheel, bringing herself back to her feet, and we have a stand off!*

Miko: o_o

Fubuki: e_e…

Bob: What a beautiful exchange by these two!

Ralph: SEE THAT LOOK ON MIKO’S FACE?! SHE DIDN’T THINK FUBUKI WOULD BE ABLE TO GO TOE TO TOE WITH HER LIKE THAT IN THE RING! KEEP ON HER FUBUKI!

Bob: Why can’t you just appreciate the athleticism?!

Ralph: OH YEAH, YOU SAY THAT NOW, BUT JUST WAIT TILL KUNOI COMES OUT HERE AND FACES MELVIC =| YOU PARTISAN MOTHERFUCKER >=|!

Bob: X_X

*Miko slowly walks over to Fubuki for a hand shake, and why not!? That last exchange was BADASS. Fubuki however, in the spirit of competition, slaps the SHIT out of the former two time Grand Champion while shaking her head! Miko almost spins COMPLETELY around from the hit!*

Miko: ……….

Bob: NOT A GOOD IDEA BY FUBUKI!

*Blinded by Anger, Miko swings wildly with a right! Fubuki catches the strike, flipping Miko over with an armdrag! Miko lands flips over, but lands on her feet! She kicks away Fubuki’s right arm, before grabbing the left, and VIOLENTLY twisting it over into the wrist lock! Fubuki, handspring forward to avoid getting her wrist broken in the middle of the ring before sending a kick toward Miko’s midsection! Miko catches the foot, before BITCHSLAPPING Fubuki right in the face!*

Bob: PAYBACK!

*Fubuki IS spun all the way around from the move! Miko leaps onto the ninjas arms before throwing herself backwards with a standing hurricanrana pin! Fubuki’s shoulders are on the mat for less than a second before reversing the pin into one of her own! Again, Miko’s shoulders are on the mat for less than a second before she rolls backwards and into her feet! Instinctively, Miko goes for a drop kick to the face! Fubuki however leans backwards, BARELY avoiding a free Rhinoplasty! Miko lands on her back, and is immediately covered by Fubuki, who gets less than a second! Miko uses Fubuki’s own momentum to roll herself onto Fubuki’s chest! Fubuki tosses Miko off at less than a second, before both women kip back to their feet in tandem!*

Fubuki: >=|

Miko: >=|!!!

Bob: Both women still evenly matched!

Ralph: And Miko is getting frustrated! Look at her! Veins are starting to pop out of her forehead!

*Miko suddenly rushes Fubuki, kicking her hard in the midsection, before Irish whipping the blonde into the corner! Fubuki’s not in the corner for more than a second before Miko attacks with her Ultimo kick combination! However, Fubuki blocks the left round house, then the right, then the left, then DUCKS the spin kick! This leaves Miko staggered and disoriented in the corner… EXACTLY where Fubuki Kai wants her! The Former Anime Champion rushes Miko, who, at the last second, uses the top rope to pull herself up, and lock her long legs around the neck of Fubuki!*

Fubuki: OH SH–

Miko: HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

*Miko launches herself from the corner for the spinning hurricanrana, only to have it reversed into a SITTING POWERBOMB in the center of the ring!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Bob: POWERBOMB! RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!

Fubuki: YES!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Fubuki climbs to the top rope and CELEBRATES after finally outsmarting Miko and putting her into the mat! The fans boo wildly!*

Ralph: WHAT?! THEY’RE BOOING THAT?! >=| WHY?!!?

Bob: uhh.. It’s BAD SPORTSMANSHIP!! THAT’S WHY!

*Fubuki sits up her rival, before pulling the ninja’s arms behind her back, aided with her knee embedding into her back!*

Bob: Fubuki now working on the lower back of Miko.. More than likely setting her up for the that flipping double knee drop we saw her use a few weeks ago!

*Miko battles her way back to her feet in an attempt to break the hold… Fubuki however, sweeps her best friend off of her feet, before driving Miko back down to the mat in an over the knee back breaker! Miko cries out, as Fubuki keeps her there, using all of her strength to bend Miko backwards over the knee! Miko again, tries everything in her power to not only stand back up, but flip Fubuki over with a hiptoss.*

Bob: Miko is trying SOMETHING here!

*Fubuki easily takes back control of the situation, flipping Miko into her shoulder into the Canadian backbreaker! Miko flails about in attempt to break the hold, but it’s not enough.. Fubuki falls to her knees, snapping Miko’s back even further!*

Ralph: Look at this Bob! Look at it! Fubuki is simply taking Miko apart! This isn’t even a contest!!

*Still locked in the Canadian Backbreaker, Miko is helpless as Fubuki begins a running start across the ring! Seconds later, Fubuki LAUNCHES Miko into the corner back first! Miko lands small of the back first on the top turnbuckle, before snapping back and landing on her face!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!

*Instinctively climbing back to her knees, Miko is in the PERFECT position, as Fubuki steps over her!*

Bob: Oh no.. OOOOH NO!

*Fubuki simply powers her into the air, before hitting ANOTHER sit out powerbomb in the center of the ring!*

Ralph: THAT’S IT!

Bob: I gotta agree! What a powerbomb!

Ref: 1…….. 2………. 2.9999!

Bob: or not!

Ralph: DAMNIT!

Bob: o_o and you talk about ME being partisan..

*Miko’s back to her knees, and being assaulted in the face with several rights by Fubuki! Miko’s not even putting her hands up in defense!*

Bob: I think that last powerbomb may have given her a concussion!

*Fubuki hits the ropes, gaining speed and momentum for what’s to come next! However, whatever that may be, we’ll never know, as Miko pops back to her feet, NAILING the SHINING WIZARD out of no where! Fubuki never sees it coming, and lays in the ring COMPLETELY spread eagled!*

Crowd: *POP!*

Ralph: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!

Bob: NO CLUE! But she needs to get up and capitalize or it’ll mean nothing!

*Miko rubs her face as she climbs back to her feet.. And unfortunately for Fubuki Kai, she discovers something from the repeated blows to the face she received earlier… Blood.*

Miko: ……… e_e!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob and Ralph: oh God no!

*Fubuki, on her knees and with her back turned to the champion, has no idea what’s about to happen to her! Flying toward the ninja at FULL SPEED, Miko hits the SHINING ENSEGURI TO THE BACK TO THE HEAD!*

Everyone: ASLDKFJASDLKFDKL

Bob: OH MY GOD!!

Ralph: WTF IS SHE TRYING TO KILL HER?!!? >=| SHE COULD HAVE JUST GIVEN HER FRIEND A CAREER ENDING CONCUSSION!

*And if there wasn’t a question that Fubuki had a concussion before.. Miko pulls Fubuki back to her feet! She snaps Fubuki backwards, hitting the BACKDROP DRIVER in the center of the ring!*

Bob: BACKDROPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!1 BACKDROPPPPPPPPUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Ralph: JESUS CHRIST!!

*Miko covers!*

Ref: 1……….. 2…………. 2.99999999999999999!!!

*BUT FUBUKI KICKS OUT!*

Miko: O_O!!!!!!!!!!!

Ralph: YES!! YES!! YE–ldkfja;sdlkfj *BANGS ON TABLE* YES!!

Bob: Fubuki just kicked out of the damn backdrop driver! After A SHINING WIZARD AND SHINING ENSEGURI TO THE BACK OF THE DAMN HEAD >=|!!

*Miko DRAGS Fubuki to the corner, resting the blonde kunoichi’s head on the bottom rope! She grabs a chair, before climbing onto the top rope of the opposing side of the ring!*

Miko: e_e!!!

Ralph: SOMEBODY CALL RVD!!!! WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A MOVE JACKING HERE ;_;

Bob: IF MIKO HITS THIS.. FUBUKI IS DEAD. DEAD! IN FACT, SOMEONE CALL 9-1-1 ALREADY SO WE CAN HAVE THEM ON STAFF.

*Miko leaps off the top rope for the “Mirokushu Termination!” SECONDS before it connects, Fubuki TELEPORTS out of the way! YES. THE BITCH TELEPORTED! Miko hits ALL turnbuckle chest first, with the chair SMACKING her in the face!*

Ralph: SDL;FAJSDF;LJK WHAT TH.. SHE TELEPOR– SHE FUCKING TELEPORTED! HAAHAHAHAHAH! THAT WAS AWESOME!!

Bob: Fubuki teleports onto the apron, and look at this! LOOK AT THIS!

*Tangled in the corner, Miko is in PERFECT position! Fubuki climbs onto the top rope with Miko’s head locked in! Fubuki flips backwards for the Sliced Bread #2, but turns it into the BACK CRACKER! The Double Knee strike into the lower back! Miko BOUNCES from the finisher!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Ralph: THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT!

*However, Miko WISELY rolls out of the ring and falls to the floor to avoid being pinned!*

Bob: THAT’S THE SIGN OF A VETERAN RIGHT THERE! Miko gets the hell out of the ring so she can’t be pinned!

Ralph: WHAT?! THAT’S BULLSHIT! GET BACK IN THE RING AND TAKE YOUR LOSS LIKE A WOMAN!

*Fubuki is going INSANE inside the ring after missing her chance to pin Miko! She reaches over the top rope in attempt to grab Miko! Big mistake, as Miko SLINGSHOTS Fubuki throat first over the top turnbuckle!*

Ralph: SLKDFJA;SDLKFJ SHE’S CHEATING NOW!!!

*Fubuki rolls to her knees just as Miko slides back into the ring! Fubuki’s in the perfect position for Miko’s “JUGULAR KICK!” Miko swings her leg with ALL that she has, and MISSES as Fubuki Teleports out of the way! Miko spins 180, and is now facing Fubuki who’s back to her feet! Fubuki hits a stiff kick to the midsection! Miko doubles over, and is instantly lifted into Fubuki’s arms! Kai takes a few steps backwards….*

Bob: I think we’re going to see the slam dunk powerbomb pin!

*Fubuki sprints across the ring! Miko however, throws ALL of her weight forward, bringing Fubuki backwards into a pin! Miko drives ALL of her weight over Fubuki’s shoulders, ALONG WITH a hand full of Ninja Gi!*

Ref: 1…. 2…….. 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

*Fubuki kicks out at 3.00000000000001! An INSTANT after making the MIRACLE pin, Miko is outside the ring, spread eagled on the concrete floor!*

Crowd: !HUGE POP!

Ralph: SHE USED THE–THAT’S BULLSHIT!! THAT’S ASLDKJSA;F BULLSHIT!

Bob: ..

Ralph: SAY SOMETHING!

Bob: MIKO WINS! WHAT A MATCH!!

Ralph: LDFKJSD;LKJDSF!!

*As “Weight of the World” begins playing once more, the camera gets a shot of Fubuki’s expression inside the ring… It is nothing more but PURE shock! The ref leaves the ring to raise the hand of Miko, who’s BARELY back to her feet!*

Bob: Miko picks up the win at UCTF: 200!

Ralph: FUBUKI WAS SCREWED! SCREWED!!

Winner: Miko Mido

*Backstage, we see President Jeice in his office, celebrating his OVERWHELMING victory over SSS! In the office with him is Intern slash current babysitter, Xiu.. Who has a special somebody in his arms eating ice cream.. JEICE’S LITTLE GIRL!*

Her: ^___^

Jeice: HEY *BLEEP* did you see me kick SSS’s arse out there??

Her: (HEY. FORGIVE ME.. IT’S BEEN FIVE YEARS AND I HAVEN’T THOUGHT OF A NAME FOR HER YET) ^_^ Daddy kick.. Arse.

!!KNOCK KNOCK!!

Jeice: ENTER!

*Slowly walking into the room in a timid nature is none other than the former FOUR TIME Anime Champion.. The man who just pinned the IG champion in the middle of the ring… SUICIDE!*

Suicide: uh.. C..c..can I talk to you for a second?

Jeice: e_e. Yeah. What’s up, mate.

Suicide: I uhh.. listened to what you said.. Stopped being a jerk.. Started kissing babies, shaking hands.. And uhh… do you think I can get another shot at Andre Tau for the UCTF Anime Title now?

*Jeice leans back in his chair, and thinks about it.*

Jeice: Hmm.. You’re right. You’ve made great strides since I chewed you out so many months ago.. And you even just got a win over Raven Darc. So………..

Suicide: ………

Jeice: You know what? e_e I kinda miss the old Suicide.

Suicide: ..what

Jeice: yeah! The loud mouthed, don’t give a shit about anyone Suicide! Sure you picked up a few wins since you reverted, but.. I don’t want my title being carried around by a pink camoflauge wearing pussy. e_e face it, Suicide.. You just don’t have it anymore.

Suicide: …………………………………………………………… I…. I….. I voted for… John Yarmuth…. o__o

*That’s the LAST thing Suicide wanted to hear! After all these months of.. SDLFKAJSD;LFKAJSDF;LKJ*

Suicide: saldkfjasdlfkjSDLKFAJSDLFKJASDLFKJASDF AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! >=|!!!

*Suicide’s entire body glows in a CAMOFLAUGE GREEN tinted Ki! Papers and other files go FLYING in the opposite direction! Xiu covers up *BLEEP*, which leaves Suicide, focused intensely on the President who just screwed him over!*

Jeice: o_o lol fu–

!!THHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*a THUNDEROUS right from the Military Brat destroys Jeice’s mouth, shattering EVERY tooth in his mouth! I’m not kidding, Jeice’s ENTIRE GRILL is no more than red colored debris across the room! Jeice himself is put THROUGH his desk, through a wall, and into another room!*

Jeice: X_X_X_X_X_X_X

Suicide: >=| !! WAS THAT NICE?!!? HUH?!!? YOU ORANGE ILLEGAL ALIEN SON OF A BITCH!?!?

*He turns around and storms out of the room.*

Suicide: AND YOU. CHANGE YOUR HAIR, YOU BLUE HAIRED DEGENERATE!!!! >=|

*Suicide looks down at the cute little five year old girl, still holding her vanilla ice cream*

Suicide: …e_e…

*Suicide KNOCKS it out of her hand before leaving the room*

Her: …………..WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Xiu: …o_o.. Boss?

Jeice: geth.. Me…a … denthisth x_x……….

*Elsewhere see a close up shot of the UCTF logo, as the camera zooms out, we see Backstage interviewer, Ukyo, standing next to former UCTF Grand Champion, William Clarke!*

Crowd: *HUGE POP!*

Ukyo: William, tonight marks your triumphant return to UCTF competition, as you’ve been called out by Legend Ranma Saotome. Thoughts?

William: That’s right.. And I want to personally thank Ranma Saotome for challenging me tonight… I didn’t want UCTF’s last image of me to being a naked possessed wreck destroying everything in my path.. I want them to remember me as being the kid who was addicted to competition. Ranma, I appreciate it. I’m going to bring 110% to the table tonight. I’m sure you’ll do the same.

Ukyo: Last Image?? What are you saying???

William: That this is it. This will be the last time you see me in the UCTF. Win. Lose, or Draw.

*Back inside the squared circle, the ring announcer prepares to speak..*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen… the following BATTLE OF THE LEGENDS match is scheduled for one fall!

*”Love Panic” starts up, and as one would expect, as the former champion makes his way out, wearing a boxing robe with his “ANYTHING GOES MARTIAL ARTS” school logo displaying prominently, the fans give him one of the biggest ovations of the night!*

Arzie: Introducing first, Hailing from Okinawa, Japan.. He stands at five feet, eight inches, and weighs in at 158lbs… He is the second ever UCTF Grand Champion in the history of the UCTF… RANMAAAAAAAA SAOOOOOOTOMEEEEEEEE!!

Bob: It’s finally time! This match is finally here! We get to see a DREAM match between two of the most athletically gifted individuals that this federation has ever seen! Both men have only suffered three losses in their entire UCTF career, both men have held the biggest prize in the business!

Ralph: You know, I hear Ranma challenged William because of the Xanthius incident. e_e. This is about more than just about seeing who’s better… William embarrassed Ranma years ago, and this kid just couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t move on.

Bob: Where did you hear that?!

Ralph: My sources. e_e

*Ranma springs to the apron before leaping a second time into the ring seamlessly.. Taking off his boxing robe, Ranma reveals he’s shirtless underneath with traditional kung fu fighting pants underneath. His smirk slowly turns into a more serious glare as he stretches inside the ring.. After a few seconds of silence, the sound of several violins playing a simple beat in unison begins sounding off throughout the arena, before Fort Minor’s “Remember The Name’s” Beat drops over the sound system! William slowly walks from the backstage area to a DEAFENING pop!*

Bob: I honestly NEVER thought I’d see this man in active competition!

Ralph: Hell, we thought he was dead for the last two years!

Bob: But tonight, he’s here… for just one more night.. In what could be the biggest match in his unfortunately short career!

Arzie: And next.. Hailing from the Fort Greene Section of Brooklyn, New York City.. He is the first and ONLY Grand Slam Winner in the history of the UCTF… WILLLIAAAAAAAAAMMMM CLARKEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

*William leaps into the ring in a similar fashion to Ranma’s just seconds ago.. He and the Anything Goes Martial Artist stand face to face in the center of the ring! The fans are 50% pro Clarke, and 50% pro Saotome! As the arena begins to shake from the opposing chants, fans litter the ring with Red, White, and Blue Streamers! Neither Ranma nor William take their eyes off of each other!*

Ralph: Jesus.. Streamers make EVERYTHING more badass!

Bob: INDEED! LET’S DO THIS! IT’S TIME!

!!DING DING DING!!

*The Match has officially started, but neither men make the first move! It’s a battle of wits in the center of the ring! Saotome and Clarke, battling for mental supremacy, never take their eyes off of each other! The fans, who are now rabid for action, begin a 50/50 chant for the two legends inside the squared circle!*

LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM!

*The Crowd is SPLIT!*

Bob: I’ve never seen anything like this before in my life!

Ralph: I don’t think either Ranma or William have either!

*They break eye contact to survey the cheering fans on their feet chanting throughout the arena…*

LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM! LET’S GO RANMA! LET’S GO WILLIAM!

*In the crowd, that one slow witted fan FINALLY throws his streamer into the ring. Ranma, who’s head is turned to the other side of the arena, catches a glimpse of an object coming toward him via peripheral vision, mistaking it for a sneak attack from William! Ranma reacts accordingly, swinging a lightning fast left! William blocks and parries the strike away equally as fast!*

Bob: HERE WE GO!

*Continuing the momentum, Ranma swings around with a right spinning heel kick, again easily blocked and pushed away! Ranma spins in the direction of the parry again, now attacking with the same foot, but this time with a spinning roundhouse. William catches Ranma’s foot and shoves the lighter fighter into the ropes! Hitting the ropes springs Ranma back even faster, as he leaps in the air! He strikes with his right foot, followed by a second kick with his left! William smacks away both kicks… which doesn’t discourage Saotome, who keeps the offense coming with a left punch. William uses circular motion to knock the left away, and when Ranma throws a right, William catches the attack, before winding his and Ranma’s arm into a lock that would have EASILY broken Saotome’s wrist, had he not rolled forward with the momentum. Using his remarkable agility, Ranma kips back to his feet before snatching his arm away from William. As he pulls away, he sends a flying roundhouse right into William’s face with almost enough speed to break the sound barrier! However, it’s NOT fast enough to connect with William, who CATCHES the kick!*

Ralph: OH SHI–

*William torque’s his body over, sending Ranma into a Dragon Screw Leg Lariat! However, Ranma lands in a handstand, before spring boarding back to his feet in a perfect stance! He goes to attack William, but comes to a screeching halt as The Kid from Brooklyn is one step ahead of him, already in the posture form known as the “Single Whip!”*

Crowd: *POPS!*

Ranma: DAMNIT! >=|

*Ranma POUNDS his fist into the top turnbuckle in frustration!*

Ralph: That’s not a Tae Kwon Do stance o_o

Bob: You’re right, it looks Chinese in nature, and I’ll be damned if whatever William has been doing over the last two years has worked! He looks as calm and confident as I’ve ever seen him! Ranma couldn’t land ONE SINGLE ATTACK!

Ralph: and William hasn’t made an offensive move yet o_o!

*Ranma SUDDENLY charges William, swinging wildly with a right! Again, William grabs the strike, followed by a swift low kick to Ranma’s new joint a half a second later, bringing the “Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu” master to the ground!*

Ralph: I TAKE THAT BACK!

*Saotome springs back to his feet, more angry than ever! A left is parried away, followed by a right, which William parries and locks, leaving Ranma now open for a BIG open palm strike to the back of the head! Ranma swings again, it’s parried away, and William UNLOADS on Ranma’s face, nailing four to five palm strikes in a row that sends Saotome flying across the ring, and almost through the ropes!*

Bob: Ranma’s down again! Ranma’s down again!

Ralph: And it looks like William is putting out little to no effort in those strikes he’s landing!

*Ranma slides out of the ring, before KICKING the steel steps, sending them flying into the fans guardrail!*

Bob: Ranma is not taking losing lightly!

Ralph: He’s certainly not in control right now.. e_e I’ve known this kid for 8 years, he HATES not being in control of a fight.

Bob: I still can’t believe the drastic fighting style change of Clarke! If I’m not mistaken, he’s using some form of Tai Chi Quan!

Ralph: What? That old folk shit!? >=| that geriatric bullshit?!

Bob: are you kidding?! LeiFang uses that style!

Ralph: Yeah, and you saw how her career went in the UCTF!

*Saotome leaps back into the ring, charging the former Grand Champion, who slinks back into his fighting position! A SECOND before attacking, Ranma comes to a sliding stop, before STOMPING on William’s foot, thumbing him in the eye, and finally, delivering the most BLATANT low blow in the HISTORY of the UCTF!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*William doubles over!*

Ralph: WHAT THE HELL?!

Bob: THAT DAMNED SAOTOME SCHOOL OF CHEATING!ASLDFKJADS;LFKJ

*As William falls to his knees, what WAS 50% William has now turned into 100% from the crowd!*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!!! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!

Ranma: e_e.. *shrugs*

*He resumes the attack, pummeling the downed William into the corner, REPEATEDLY stomping him in the lower extremities, as the crowd has now gone from loving him, to potentially RIOTING in the place! With William now collapsed in the corner, Ranma darts to the opposing side of the ring, before coming FULL SPEED at William with a thrust kick! William EATS it like a man, but also GRABS Ranma’s leg before standing up out of the corner!*

Bob: WILLIAM HAS THE FOOT!

*William SPINS Ranma around, before UNLOADING on the Martial Artist’s midsection with a non stop barrage of open palm strikes to a ERUPTING chorus of cheering from the crowd!*

Ralph: How is he up THAT quick from THAT many ballshots?!

Bob: I don’t know, but he’s letting the former Grand Champion have it!

*Ranma FIRES BACK with a open palm strike to William’s face!*

Crowd: BOO!!

*William shakes it off, firing back with a palm strike to Ranma’s face!*

Crowd: YAY!

*They begin trading hits on each other in the center of the ring! The fans react accordingly!*

YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO!

*William finally parries a punch from Ranma, who PARRIES THE PARRY, before NAILING William with a spin kick to the jaw!*

Ranma: >=|!

Ralph: uh oh…

*William attempts to parry another strike, but Ranma adapts, parrying away William’s reversal attempt, leaving William open for a BIG jumping spin kick, that takes the Grand Slam winner down to the canvas with INTENSE force!*

Bob: WILLIAM DOWN!

Ralph: William’s mistake is starting to catch up with him!

Bob: explain!

Ralph: Come on! Ranma’s martial art NATURALLY adapts to any fighter’s ability! That’s what makes Anything Goes the most dangerous martial art out there! If you don’t put Ranma away quickly enough, he’ll simply learn your style and defeat you with it! We’ve seen it happen with Jin, with Devilman! With Alex! Hystalin! William should have put Ranma away when he had the damn chance!

*Clarke climbs back to his feet, he manages to stave off a overhand right with a parry into a wrist lock with his land hand.. Using his right, he attempts to take Ranma down with a chop, but Saotome blocks with his left, snatching away his right arm, firing back with a back hand that takes William COMPLETELY around!*

Ranma: KACHU TENSHIN—

Bob: THIS IS IT!

Ranma: AMAGURIKEN!!!

*William spins RIGHT into the “Chestnuts over an Open Fire,” THREE HUNDRED punches finds it’s way into his midsection within ONE SECOND. I am not exaggerating here. ONE. SECOND! He staggers back, but for the most part, takes EVERY SINGLE PUNCH like a man!*

Bob: RANMA’S ULTIMATE ATTACK!

Ralph: o_o William didn’t…

Bob: HE MUST BE OUT ON HIS FEET!

*Ranma hits the ropes as HARD as he possibly can, exploding back towards William, who out of pure INSTINCT reverts to his Tae Kwon Do style, NAILING Ranma with the FIVE FORTY kick!*

Crowd: *POP!*

Bob: 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! 540!!! I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE THAT AGAIN!

*William covers!*

Ref: 1…….. 2…….. 2.99999999999999999!!!

*Ranma POWERS his way out of the pin at the LAST POSSIBLE SECOND!*

Ralph: HOLY SHIT HE KICKED OUT OF THAT!

Bob: RANMA KICKS OUT!!!

*William tries to get up, but FALLS back to the ground, holding his midsection in extreme pain! The Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken has taken it’s toll.. Meanwhile, Ranma is gradually climbing back to his feet, now covered in blood from the stiff kick to the face!*

Ranma: >=|!!

Bob: How is Ranma back up so quick?!

*Ranma crouches low, allowing William to stand back up! The brave fighter from Fort Greene manages to do just that with the aid of the ropes, before turning towards Saotome*

William: …

Ranma: ….

*Both men leap toward each other, William goes high with a spin kick that misses! Ranma rolls through to his knees, waiting for William to turn around.. And when he does.. SHISHKEBOB KICK right to the jaw!*

!!POP!!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!!!

*William sells it like an oak being chopped down! He slowly falls to his backwards to the mat!*

Bob: WHAT A KICK BY SAOTOME!

Ralph: o_o.. Seriously.. William’s jaw has to be broken.. Or he’ll need a new set of teeth.. One of the two..

*William is spreadeagled on the canvas, giving Ranma time to climb to the top rope!*

Bob: Ranma! You’re in control! You don’t need to go up there!

Ralph: He wants to put the exclamation point on this match! And what better way to do that then by hitting–

*Ranma performs a FULL GAINER off the top rope, NAILING William in the center of the ring!*

Ralph: —THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS!

Bob: IT CONNECTS! IT CONNECTS!

*Ranma covers!*

Ref: 1…….. 2……..—

*But Saotome PULLS WILLIAM’S SHOULDERS OFF THE MAT!*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ralph: What is he DOING?!

Ranma: >=D!!!!!!

Ralph: WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING?!!? >=|

Bob: He doesn’t want to win by inches, Ralph, Ranma wants to win by a MILE!

Ralph: Well you know what?! I’ve been calling this kid’s matches since 2002, and you know what I’ve learned? NEVER allow William Clarke a chance to recover! EVER!

*The Master, and Heir apparent of Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu is not finished with William Clarke! He’s not out to merely defeat him, he means to embarrass the kid in front of millions watching around the globe.. And the best way to do so? By beating him with his own move! Flinging William’s right arm behind him, Ranma firmly locks his right arm underneath William, and around his neck…*

Bob: Ranma plans to use the STO!

Ralph: Oh Christ!

Bob: And what a signal to send to Clarke by beating him with his own move!

*In perfect position, Ranma sweeps out William’s feet, DRIVING the former practitioner of Judo straight into the canvas with the STO!*

Bob: AND RANMA HITS THE ST—-

*However, USING the very momentum Ranma gained from performing the STO, William ROLLS backwards, keeping Ranma’s arm locked the entire time! Within a split second, William is back to his feet, one of which has Ranma’s right arm locked into the mat. Using his now free hands, He grabs onto Ranma’s right leg into a single crab, leaning backwards into the Tequila Sunrise Submission!*

Crowd: *HUGE POP*

Ralph: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Bob: WILLIAM SOMEHOW REVERSES THE STO INTO THE BROOKLYN STRETCH!!

*With a wide eyed, surprised expression, Ranma tries to hold off William’s deadly submission hold, but it’s to no use, as he TAPS OUT in the middle of the ring!*

Bob: RANMA TAPS! HE TAPS!

!!DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!!

*By the second Tap, William has released the hold and left the squared circle. “Remember The Name” once again, plays through the sound system as NO ONE realizes what just happened… William makes from one end of the ramp to the other, standing on the stage before finally turning and looking back at the surprised Ranma, who’s back to his feet looking on in astonishment. William gives one finally look to the fans before slowly turning back around and leaving through the curtain…*

Bob: That.. That reversal was amazing…!

Ralph: What did I tell you? WHAT DID I SAY?! Ranma had it WON, but he had to SCREW IT UP!

Winner: William Clarke

*Speaking of Ranma, the surprised and beaten martial artist can only stand in shock! Hell, within fifteen seconds he went from a COMMANDING lead to tapping out in the center of the ring! For the second time, William Clarke has embarrassed him in front of the entire world, and even though the UCTF capacity crowd are now to their feet, applauding his performance, Ranma can only focus on his now growing SEETHING anger.*

Ranma: …………

*He clutches his fist, before rocketing off into the sky in a blaze of red ki!*

Ralph: oh.. Oh he’s mad.. O_O he’s really mad.

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen…. I would like to Introduce the referee of our Final match up of the evening… Senior Official GLEN SANCHOS!

Crowd: *POPS!*

Glen: *raises fist* e_e

Bob: Good! We’re going to need THAT guy out here for this next match!

Ralph: Seriously…

Arzie: And The Following Match is scheduled for one fall. It is a qualifying match for the SIX person Judgment Day main event at Summer Chaos, and it is for the ULTIMATE CROSSOVER TOURNAMENT FIGHTING LEAGUE’S GRAAAAAAAAAANNNND CHAMPIONSHIP!

Ralph: MAIN EVENT TIME BOBBY!

*”Boys of Summer” by the Ataris starts up to a massive ovation!*

But I can see you-

Your brown skin shinin’ in the sun

You got your hair combed back and your sunglasses on, baby

And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong

After the boys of summer have gone

*The fans look into the sky, as The former Grand Champion slowly descends into the ring with the flame sword Azara already armed!*

Bob: And here it is.. Melvic has been granted a rematch, in what may be his last shot at the UCTF Grand Championship.

Ralph: And from the sight of that GIANT SWORD in his hands, he’s not taking any chances!

Bob: They threw everything but the kitchen sink at each other in their previous meeting, so it’ll be interesting to see what happens in this match up!

*Melvic softly lands in the ring, and stands completely still, awaiting his opponent in the center of the ring… He doesn’t have to wait long, as “Holy War” begins playing! That’s right, Kunoi’s ORIGINAL theme song begins playing over the sound system! Kunoi slowly walks from behind the curtain!*

Ralph: There he is!

Bob: And folks, This is a RARITY. Remember, the Grand Title is usually a PAY PER VIEW ONLY championship, and we’re getting to see it for free!

*Kunoi walks down to the ring slowly with a stern look in his eyes! Contrary to what his promos may lead you to believe.. Kunoi realizes he’s in a fight of his life tonight, and if SOMEHOW he managed to get past Melvic, he still has five other individuals waiting for him at Summer Chaos!*

Kunoi: e_e..

Melvic: e_e…

*Kunoi climbs into the ring, before slowly handing the Platinum Grand Championship over to the referee. Arzie, who stands bravely between the two men brings the mic to his lips…*

Arzie: Introducing… the challenger… hailing from QUAGMIRE.. Standing at six feet, two inches.. And weighing in at one hundred-ninety pounds… MELVICCCCCCCC LILLITHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Melvic raises his arm slowly, and gets a massive pop from the fans!*

Crowd: Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic! Melvic!

Arzie: And hailing from Sapporo City in the Hokkaido Prefecture of Japan… He stands at 178 centimeters and weighs in at 76 kilograms.. HE IS THE DESTROYER… THE ULTIMATE CROSSOVER TOURNAMENT FIGHTING LEAGUE’S GRAAAAAND CHAMPION… KUNOIIIIIIIIIIII ISHIGAMIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Kunoi ignores the jeers that are strong enough to shake the entire building! His eyes NEVER leave Melvic!*

Kunoi: Ready to be embarrassed again, Melvic? e_e Ready to tap out?

Melvic: e_e…………. I gave you ample chances, Kunoi. Your execution tonight, is your own fault.

Kunoi: e_e threatening to kill me, huh? You think I’ll fall for a lame trick like that?

Melvic: Trick? e_e when was the last time you heard from that low down cheating wrestling promoter, Roughkut?

Kunoi: o_o……………….

Melvic: Ring the bell. e_e

Kunoi: Um.. Ref….

Melvic: RING THE BELL. E_E

Kunoi: HE HAS A DAMN SWORD! >=| MAKE HIM PUT DOWN THE DAMN SWORD!

Melvic: RING THE MOTHER FUCKING B—

!!DING DING DING!!!

Kunoi Ishigami vs. Melvic Lillith

UCTF Grand Championship

Judgment Day Qualifying Match

*Melvic has become a flaming sword slinging nut job the SECOND the bell rings!*

!!FLOOM!! !!FLOOM!! !!FLOOM!! !!FLOOM!!

Ralph: I change my opinion about Glen Sanchos! HE’S LETTING MELVIC USE A FUCKING SWORD!

Bob: I–

Ralph: OH HERE’S WHERE YOU BECOME THE BIASED PRICK THAT YOU ARE AND SAY “IT’S THE UCTF! ANYTHING GOES HERE” WELL FUCK YOU, HE’S GOT A SWORD, KUNOI’S UNARMED E_E

Bob: >_<

*Kunoi does his best to avoid the four foot long, flame powered sword, but soon finds himself cornered with no where to go! It’s a hard decision to make, but Kunoi mans up, and RUSHES towards Melvic! Surprised, The Former champion swings the sword, and able to graze the chest of Ishigami! Kunoi doesn’t let it stop his motion, and SPEARS Lillith to the canvas, knocking the sword away!*

Ralph: YES!

Bob: Kunoi manages to knock the sword away, but it may have cost him too much!

*Both men are sprawled out on the canvas, one of which is bleeding PROFUSELY! Melvic, seeing another opportunity, rolls to his stomach in attempt to recapture Azara.*

Kunoi: NO THE HELL YOU DON’T! >=|

*Bleeding or not, Kunoi will NOT allow Melvic to grab his primary weapon! Springing across the ring, Kunoi shoots the half nelson, flipping Melvic onto his back. He quickly mounts, and unloads on the challenger with stiff palm strikes!*

Kunoi: NOT SHIT WITHOUT YOUR SWORD, HUH?!?! WH—WHOAAAA!!!!

*Melvic blocks a strike, and flips Kunoi off, switching him over into the Jujigatame, The Cross Arm Breaker! One of Kunoi’s very own signature holds!*

Bob: MELVIC SWITCHES KUNOI OVER WITH AN MMA MOVE OF HIS OWN!

Ralph: WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT?! >=|

Kunoi: Oh, you’ve been practicing. e_e.. How cute.

*One thing you don’t want to do is try to match MMA moves with a SHOOTO champion! Kunoi twists himself over with enough force to turn the armbar into a roll up pin!*

Ref: 1……. 2…….

*Melvic kicks out, and at the same time rolls backwards to his feet, right in time to catch a GIANT palm strike across the chest, knocking him into the corner! Kunoi doesn’t let up on the “transitional champion” unloading more open palm and backhand strikes that this narrator can count!*

Bob: KUNOI IS ON FIRE HERE!!

*Lillith fires back however, RIGHT into the open wound of Ishigami, halting ALL of the Destroyer’s offense! Melvic grabs the back of Kunoi’s head, and delivers KNEE after KNEE after KNEE into the open wound, until his slacks are covered in the Grand Champion’s blood! Kunoi catches a knee, sweeping M elvic to the mat with a single leg take down!*

Bob: Kunoi manages to take Melvic down again—

*Before he can mount, Melvic KICKS him in the wound! Kunoi stumbles back, giving Melvic enough time to rise to his feet.. He rushes forward, SPEARING the Champion to the canvas, followed by clubbing rights and lefts!*

Bob: But Melvic back on the attack! There is nothing scientific about this match! No reversals, just pure violence being inflicted on both parties!

*Kunoi twists his body over to avoid the mount.. Grabbing Melvic’s right arm with both of his, he braves unguarded shots to the face, while attempting to throw his leg around the front of Melvic’s neck…*

Bob: Now Kunoi attempting to lock on his version of the Jujigatame Cross Armbreaker! Melvic needs to be careful, he does not want to get into an MMA type match with Kunoi!

*He gets his leg around Melvic’s throat, and locks on a standing Cross Armbreaker! Melvic falls to one knee!*

Ralph: Say what you will about Kunoi, but he is a BRILLIANT submission expert!

Bob: Yeah, whatever e_e If he’s not careful, he’s going to pin himself!

Ralph: PIN HIMSELF!? MELVIC’S ABOUT TO DAMN TAP OUT! >=|

*Kunoi MAY be the master of submissions in the UCTF, but Melvic, has mastered the art of FLYING! His wings come out, lifting not only himself, but KUNOI as well, who stupidly keeps the Cross Armbreaker locked!*

Ralph: OH SHIT, KUNOI! LET GO!

*Too late! Melvic drops down, DRIVING Kunoi neck first with a TEN FOOT powerbomb in the center of the ring! Kunoi lays SPREAD EAGLED in the canvas!*

Bob: POWERRRRBOMBBB!!!!!

Ralph: Why didn’t you let go, Kunoi?! X_X

*Melvic retreats to the corner, crouching low into a three point stance with almost a SMIRK on his face! The fans see what’s coming, as they all stand up in preparation!*

Bob: I think we’re about to see the Sonic Tackle!

Ralph: HE HAD A DAMN SWORD AND CUT KUNOI IN THE CHEST WITH IT! How much blood do you think he’s lost?!

Bob: TH–

Ralph: THIS IS THE UCTF YEAH I KNOW. KEEP SAYING IT! >=|

Bob: e_e..

*Kunoi is now on his feet, with his back turned to the challenger!*

Ralph: DON’T TURN AROUND KUNOI! DON’T TURN AROUND!

*Kunoi turns around, and Melvic LITERALLY flies towards him! Acting on pure instinct alone, Kunoi SIDESTEPS the Sonic Tackle at the last second! Unfortunately, Glen Sanchos, who was right behind him wasn’t so lucky! Melvic damn near SLICES the poor referee in half, embedding him between the second and third turnbuckles! All you can see are four legs dangling!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Bob: I THINK KUNOI’S GUARDIAN ANGEL JUST PUSHED HIM OUT OF THE WAY!

Ralph: HAHAHAHAHA, THE REFEREE DESERVED THAT!

Bob: well.. Well.. Glen is a big guy.. Maybe he’s not too hurt!

Kunoi: o_o… e_e!!!!!

*Oh yeah??? The champion doesn’t rest for long! Grabbing Melvic by the legs, he delivers a SICK Wheel Barrel Suplex back into the center of the ring WITH Glen Sanchos attached!!*

Bob: JESUS CHRIST!

Ralph: AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Melvic and Ref: X_X!!!!!!!!!!

*Sanchos FLIES out of the ring, and the force of the suplex snaps Melvic completely backwards and all the way back to his feet! He’s glazed over, and will be in worse shape in less than 3 seconds!*

Kunoi: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Kunoi comes around with a HUGE spinning backhand to the face, sending Melvic into the corner! Kunoi hits the ropes, exploding into Melvic with a Rising Palm Strike, knocking the poor bastard ONTO the top rope!*

Bob: OH this isn’t good for Melvic! This isn’t good for Melvic!

*The challenger’s arms are crossed over, before he’s tossed off the top rope and into the GORICONOCLAM! He lands back first, and bounces into the sitting position! He won’t be there for long, as Kunoi SNATCHES him backwards into the rear naked choke!*

Ralph: REAR NAKED CHOKE!

Bob: And what a better time to lock in that hold! Right after driving the air right out of Melvic’s lungs!

*Melvic attempts to sit up, but is yanked back down!*

Ralph: Melvic’s freaking out! Look at him! He doesn’t seem to realize that leaning forward is only HELPING Kunoi choke the air out of him!

*Dispite Ralph’s Couch Quarter backing, he fights to bring himself back up to a sitting position! Kunoi however, YANKS the challenger back again! This time, however, Melvic ROLLS with it, and somehow ends up on top of Kunoi in a pinning position, while STILL in the rear naked choke!*

Ralph: *SPITS OUT DRINK* OH SHIT!

Ref: 1……….2… 2.99999999999999!!

*Kunoi lets go of the choke at the last second, breaking up the pinning combination!*

Bob: Kunoi was a SECOND away from the most embarrassing loss since the porta potty match!

*Melvic ducks a huge clothesline from Kunoi before hitting the ropes! He attempts the spear, but instead, EATS a front kick to the face! Kunoi shoots him into a fireman’s carry position!*

Ralph: KENTA’S ABOUT TO SUE!!

Bob: Melvic swinging around wildly! Can he escape!?

*He attempts to put Melvic to sleep, but the challenger lands on his feet, blocking the Buisaku knee! He follows this with a headbutt to Kunoi’s chin, then a KI aided strike to the chest that LIFTS the champion off his feet! Kunoi, now on his knees, slowly stands back up, and is NAILED with the sonic tackle!*

Bob: SONIC TACKLE! SONIC TACKLE! SONIC TACKLE!

Ralph: THAT DAMN SLASH TO THE CHEST REARS IT’S UGLY HEAD AGAIN! >=|

Bob: And what’s worse, Melvic’s going upstairs!

Ralph: SHIT! MOVE KUNOI! MOVE!

*Kunoi’s in NO position to get out of the way! He’s wide open from Melvic’s ELBOW FROM HELL which connects RIGHT in the center of the ring!*

Bob: MELVIC CONNECTS!! MELVIC CONNECTS!

*It’s a clean splash from up high, but does the Incubus go for the pin? e_e… No. Instead, he slowly turns around, and sees Azara. His mission is NOT complete.*

Ralph: ..oh..oh..oh no…

*The half demon picks up the blade, and slowly stalks Kunoi, DETERMINED to finish what he started!*

Ralph: SAY SOMETHING BOB! SAY SOMETHING NOW! YOU ADVOCATING ATTEMPTED MURDER IN THE RING!?

Bob: uhhh..

Ralph: YEAH! THAT’S RIGHT! THAT’S RIGHT. DON’T SAY SHIT!

*Kunoi is on one knee.. His heart is pumping faster than it ever has before in his life! Melvic stands above him, sword posed to strike and kill!*

Ralph: GLEN! GET IN THERE AND STOP THIS!

Melvic: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAARRRGGHHHHH!!!

Crowd: *COVERS EYES*

*In an act that could be described as pure heroism (if Kunoi wasn’t a pure jackass e_e), The Grand Champion CATCHES the blade between both of his palms!*

Everyone: O_O!!!

Ralph: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Bob: KUNOI CAUGHT THE FLAMING SWORD AZARA! WHAT IS THIS JAPANESE BASTARD MADE OF?!?!

Melvic: YOU SON OF A BITCH?!

Kunoi: YEAH! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?!

*Melvic responds by simply KICKING Kunoi SQUARE in the testicles!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*The desired effect happens! Kunoi let’s the sword slip out of his hands to grasp his man fruit! That leaves himself open to attack, which Melvic takes full advantage off! One swing of the blade later, and Kunoi is RUN RIGHT THROUGH the arm!*

Kunoi: ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Bob: MELVIC FINALLY CONNECTS WITH THE BLADE!

Ralph: YOU HAPPY NOW BOB?! YOU HAPPY NOW?! KUNOI’S BLEEDING LIKE A FUCKING RIVER! YOU HAPPY?!!?!?

*The challenger is not finished.. After YANKING the blade from Kunoi’s wound, the Destroyer falls to his knees! With so much extreme and horrifying pain coursing through his body, he’s barely able to stay lucid! Unfortunately for him.. He won’t have to worry about the pain much longer, as Melvic lifts Azara above his head for the final blow…*

Ralph: GET SOMEBODY OUT THERE TO STOP THIS! >=|

Melvic: e_e The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. AND YOU WILL KNOW THAT I AM THE LORD, WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE UPON YOU!

Bob: OH NO, MELVIC HAS GONE JULES WINNFIELD!

*All hope seems to be lost for Kunoi, until a purple and green blur slides into the ring, and places itself between the Grand Champion and the challenge who is poised to end his life!*

Miko: e_e THAT’S ENOUGH!

Bob: MIKO MIDO!

Ralph: THANK GOD!!

Melvic: e_e.. Get out of the way.

Miko: No. e_e You’ve won. You don’t have to do this.

Melvic: Miko. Get out of the way. Last time I’m going to tell you.

Miko: No. You’re going to put the sword down… do you know why? Because you owe me. e_e.

Melvic: ……

Miko: you know what I’m talking about, don’t you?

Melvic: >=|

Miko: MAY 5TH. 2001. FUGLY DUO. I SAVED YOUR LIFE!

*Oh God, Miko brings THAT up. SIX years ago, The Fugly Duo destroyed Melvic Lillith when he was still a lowly up and coming UCTFer, if not for her interference that night, who knows if Melvic would have had to retire from the UCTF that night!*

Miko: YOU. OWE. ME.

*Melvic is many things, but most of all, he is a man of honor. His strong grip over Azara loosens… his arms slowly come down..*

Melvic: now, we’re e–

*Miko doesn’t let him finish, before NAILING Melvic with a BLATANT low blow via European uppercut! Azara goes FLYING out of the ring! Melvic hits the ground like a sack of potatoes, as Miko stands up, surveying the damage to a CHORUS of boos!*

Miko: e_e……………………………………

Bob: D: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ralph: o_o………..

*Melvic grabs her by the back of the hair in one final desperate act of revenge! Bad Idea for Melvic, as Kunoi springs forward, taking Melvic down via flying legsweep!*

Bob: OH NO!! OH GOD NO!!

*Kunoi converts it into the VICIOUS heel hook submission hold known as the “Melvic Capture!” It’s the move Kunoi used to WIN the damn title in the first place!*

Bob: NOT THIS WAY! NOT THIS WAY!

Ralph: YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! YOU WEREN’T THIS PISSED WHEN KUNOI WAS ABOUT TO BE SPLIT IN HALF!

Bob: YOU WANT BOB VS RALPH 3 TO HAPPEN!? >=|

Ralph: YEAH, I DO, IF I WASN’T CALLING A MATCH RIGHT NOW!

*Melvic won’t go down without a fight this time, however, he fights back viciously, pounding away on Kunoi, until–*

!!POP!!

*Miko RAILS him with a chairshot!*

Bob: GOOD GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ralph: YES!!!

*Melvic tries one more time to sit up.. NOT a good idea!*

!!CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!

*A second, even more powerful chairshot to the face SPLITS Melvic’s wig open, knocking the poor bastard COMPLETELY out! By now, the fans are RABID!*

Bob: *THROWING PAPERS EVERYWHERE* WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BULSDFKJASDL;FKJ

*The referee.. FINALLY conscious, sees Melvic LOCKED in the Capture, he rushes back into position…*

Glen: MELVIC! MELVIC YOU GOTTA RESPOND OR I’M STOPPING THIS ONE! MELVIC………. ……. RING THE BELL. RING THE DAMN BELL!

!!DING DING DING!!

*”Holy War” kicks up again… The arena has DIED!*

Everyone: …………

Ralph: YEAH! THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT! HE’S RETAINED!

Bob: ………

Fan: …b..b..bullshit o_o… BULLSHIT! >=|

Crowd: BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT!

*The fans, CLEARLY upset at the end of the match up, begins to FLOOD the ring with anything that’s not bolted to the floor! Kunoi, wounded chest, shoulder and all escape the ring along side Miko and the UCTF Platinum Grand Championship Title and retreat up the ramp like a thief in the night! And why not, as he’s STOLEN the victory away from Melvic Lillith!*

Arzie: THE WINNER, ADVANCING TO JUDGMENT DAY, AND STILL UCTF GRAND CHAMPION… KUNOIIIIIIII ISHIGAMIIIIIIIIII!!!!

Winner and Still UCTF Grand Champion: Kunoi Ishigami

Bob: Kunoi advances and will be in the judgment day main event along side Lo-Ruhamah and Inuyasha. For Ralph Gerrard, I’m Bobby Hinden saying goodnight. I’m done. Thanks.

Ralph: HEY BOB! WHERE’D ALL YOUR EXCITEMENT GO?!!?

Bob: I’M OUT. GODDAMNIT!! >=|

Ralph: o_o.. Uhh.. Hope you enjoyed the show, guys. Later.

*Now on top of the stage, Kunoi holds the Grand Championship high in the air with his bad arm.. Miko leaps into his arms, before planting a big, kiss on the cheek!*

Bob: *COMES BACK TO THE MIC* THAT FUCKING BITCH! E_E *LEAVES*

Ralph: X_X

end.

EXTRAS!

PINUPS – COURTESY BRANDON JONES! ENJOY!

“Demons“

“Fugly Duo“

“Seven“

Continue

bob: hello everybody and welcome to saturday massacre!

ralph; let’s get to the action!

yoshumitzu vs aramil

bob; yoshimitsu goes for a slash on aramil

ralph; aramilducks the slash!!!! OMG he goes for a chokeslam!!

bob; is he allowed to that!?

ralph; i don’t know holy shit yoshimitsu just stabbed him!

bob GOOD GAWD ZUMWUN STOP THE DAMN MATCH

ralph; someone is! it’s xamot!

bob; who!?

ralph; xamot! he just ran in and knocked out both fighters!

xamot; alucard you come out here NOW or I will kill you both!

bob; oh my god xamot’s going to kill both fighters!

ralph; but wait! Here comes alucard! And he has a flaming chair OMG!

bob; WHAMMM!!! OH MY GOD alucard’s head just got caved in by that brutal shot! and he’s

down!

ralph; whew, what a match let’s go to sue in the back sue?

Sue; thanks ralph i’m here with triple s what do you think about ryokun?

sss; he suks! i’m gonna kill him!

ryokun; no i will kill you!

sue; oh my god, ryokun!

sss; die!

bob; oh god, sss just hit ryokun in the head with a shovel!!!

ralph; ryokun is bleeding! NO HE GOT BACK UP GOOD GOD HE GOT BACK UP!

bob; OH MY GOD he just threw SSS into a soda machine! shawn is losing blood!

ryo; bitch

ralph; ryo is leaving! trippple ssss is dead!

bob; my god what is going to happen to sss?

lei fang/jann leeeee vs chippy milla rage

ralph; and milla and lei fang start o- OH MY GOD

bob; they’re both making out in the ring!

milla; I love you

Lei fang; i’m lesbo i love you!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111

ralph; PUPPPPEEEZZZZZZ!!!

bob; this is sick… but jann lee and chipp are now drinking beer and eating

popcorn!

ralph; and they’re getting naked!

bob; GO TO COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!!11111111111111

yugo vs kunoi

yugo; RAARRRR

bob; and yugo goes for a slash to kunoi’s thorat

ralph; but kunoi kicks him in the balls!

kunoi; fuk USS!!!

crowd; BOOO U SUK

ralph; oh my god kunoi just punched him int he balls!!!

bob; good god! the hulkster leg drop!

ralph; he pins him! 1234er5!! kunoi wins!

bob; wow what a match! kunoi is a real american!!!

da innovatorz vs countup/andre tow

bob; and will is in first… oh my god he just shot countup!

ralph; and suiicide has a gun to111! he shoots andre!

bob; GOOD GOD THIS IS SICK!

ralph; now will is kicking countup’s dead body!

bob; suicide is throwing the money from andre’s shoe into the crowd!

ralph; they’re the new tasdgf team champs!!1111

bad kitry vs carmenGODSHE’SHOTcita

ralph; bad kitty just hit carmernPUPPIES GOOD GOD SHE’S STRIPPING HER!

bob; she’s stripping off kitty’s bra and choking carmencita!!!1111

ralph; carmen is going out!

bob; it’s over!!!!! bad kitty wins!!!

ralph WOOOOO PUPPIES!!!!!!!111111111111

bob; wow what a staurday massacre! see you next week!

Bob: Welcome to another edition of Saturday Massacre! I am Robert Hinden, along side the Hentai Commentator, Ralph Gerrard!

Ralph: ^_^!

Bob: Well, tonight’s going to be AWESOME, we have World titles on the line, NRA titles, sword matches, and a big 3 on 1 main event!

Ralph: Yep! I can’t wait! hehe… HEHEHE!! HAHAHAHA!! x_X

Bob: O_o……. what’s so funny?

Ralph: …..hehe…nothing………. ^_^

Bob: O_o ok, well, let’s go on to our first match! It’s going to be Lo-Ruhamah going against Aisha Cla–

Ralph: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Bob: uhh.. Ralph..

Ralph: HAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bob: SHUTUP! >=|

Ralph: …….. NO!

Bob: WHAT?!

Ralph: YOU SHUTUP!!

*Ralph quickly stands to his feet. Before Bob can react, the burly commentator slaps him across the mouth!*

Bob: >_< ! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR X_X!!!!!!

*Ralph then stabs his partner in the back!*

Bob: RALPH.. WH–**CHOKES**

Ralph: e_e……….

*Bob’s body falls limp over the table. Now in a full psychotic rage.. Ralph cuts his head RIGHT off*

Ralph: >=|!!! ANYONE ELSE WANT TO TELL ME TO SHUTUP?!?! HUH?!?!?!

*he holds Bob’s severed head for the world to see!*

Ralph: e_e!!!!!!

*The fans begin to flood out of the arena as fast as possible! Meanwhile, in the commentator’s booth, Ralph pulls out a Shotgun!*

Ralph: >=|!!

!!BLAOW!! !!BLAOW!! !!BLAOW!! !!BLAOW!!

*Numerous fans drop as bullets spray into the open crowd!*

Ralph: >=| WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOING HUH?!!? HUH?!!?!?!?

*He throws the now empty weapon to the wayside, and pulls out a box of Hand Grenades*

Ralph: NOBODY LIVES!!! EVERYBODY DIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!BLOOOOOOOOOM!! !!BLOOOOOOOOOM!! !!BLOOOOOOOOOOM!!

Fans: X_X!!!!!!!!!!!

Ralph: HAHAHAHAHAHA!! AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! >=|!!!!

*Now even the camera men are running like bitches! one catches a final glance at Ralph..*

Ralph: This week’s show.. has been CANCELED!!!!

!!BLOOOOOOOOOOM!!

This has been a Just Kidding Production…

Continue

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BoB- A real treat tonight, folks — the tag team For Love and Justice make their debutagainst The Golden Pair.
Ralph- Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon have already entered and Sailor Moon is in thering.

BoB- And now Azusa and Makato approach the ring to some polite applause.

Ralph- It looks like Makato will be in the ring first for the Golden Pair. The competitorsall look prepared for their match this evening.

(Ding!)

BoB- This morning, I found a new friend underneath my pillow.

Ralph- What? BoB?

BoB- What what?

Ralph- What’s that blue thing doing here?

BoB- Exactly.

Ralph- And Makato and Sailor Moon, after sizing each other up and down and in diagonalwaves of fury, approach warily the center of the ring.

BoB- Makato strikes first, lashing at Sailor Moon with a quick jab. Moon dodges andcounterattacks with a miss of her own.

Ralph- Makato and Moon engage in a quick fury of blows. They’re quick, BoB! I canhardly tell what’s happening. When they part, Makato is limping, but Sailor Moon has abruise under her eye.

Sailor Moon- Aren’t you the guy who hit me in the eye?

BoB- Sailor Moon seems angry. She trips Makato, who falters and falls back towards theropes, where he is tagged by Asuza. Asuza enters with an alterimuntian blaze of revolvingmadness, compiled with an undue frenzy born of green bologna. Moon, meanwhile,maneuvers back to her corner, where Tuxedo Mask hops over the ropes into the ring.Edibly nonsensical, my friend iguana. And Asuza seems intrigued by something.

Asuza- My darling Esmerelda!

Ralph- Asuza leaps foreword and snatches the hat from atop Tuxedo Mask’s head!

BoB- And you know what that means, Ralph.

Ralph- Indeed, indeed. Cheese for all midget parakeets.

BoB- Vroom! Vroom!

Ralph- And so dost our liege, Lord Squidon of Moscow, falter in the face of surpriseopposition!

BoB- Shame, oh, shame! Death find us in a squirrel’s nest!

Ralph- BoB! Call for backup! Call the paramedics! Save the elder dog.

BoB- Dog, as a devil defied, lived as a god.

Ralph- Asuza seems infatuated with Esmerelda… uh…

BoB- Tuxedo Mask smacks the unsuspecting Asuza in the side of the head, and she falls tothe floor, cold.

Ralph- Tuxedo picks up his hat and exits, tapping Sailor Moon as Makato enters the ring atthe other side.

BoB- What’s wrong with Makato?

Ralph- I think Sailor Moon got back at him for hitting her in the eye.

BoB- Leech tails and free salt are nothing for an excellent peon like Oato.

Ralph- He goddam mad dog, eh?

BoB- Dammit, I’M Mad!

Ralph – BoB, don’t say $*&%@ on the air.

BoB- $*&%@ you, Ralph, I didn’t.

Ralph- Yes, you just did.

BoB- Oh, just go and $&*%@ a *$&er.

Ralph- Not until the end of this fight, BoB.

BoB- I met system I.

Ralph- No, I met system Ion.

BoB- With that in mind, Sailor Moon delivers a devastating blow to Makato’s side! AndMakato is down!

Ralph- This is trouble for the remaining member of the Golden Pair.

BoB- That’s right! Makato is out cold.

7…

BoB- Makato isn’t moving.

BoB- Makato isn’t moving.

8…9…

BoB- Makato isn’t moving.

10!

Ralph- For Love and Justice have won their debut match. And Tuxedo Mask and SailorMoon exit the arena to cheers from the crowd and one obnoxious guy screaming about theGreenhouse Effect in New Zealand.

BoB- Let’s move onto our next fight, Ralph.

Winners: For Love and Justice

BoB- Next up is a battle between the Guyver and Akira. What’s your prediction here, Ralph?
Ralph- Well, BoB, I have to go with a victory for Guyver. Akira is rusty in the ring, while Guyver is determined to defeat Devilman, and vanquish everyone who stands in his way.

BoB- That’s right Ralph. Devilman won’t accept Guyver’s challenge until Guyver has won three consecutive matches. Isn’t this a bit haughty on the part of Devilman?

Ralph- Devilman is a title holder and has fought Guyver before, BoB. I think he’s earned the right to be a bit arrogant.

BoB- That may be true. In any case, Guyver has entered and is making his way to the ring. The crowd seems to be behind him tonight!

Ralph- Meanwhile, we can hear a loud rumble arriving at the other end of the arena, along with Akira and his motorcycle. Why does Akira have to drive that thing in here?

BoB- The mad prophet Fisgandor only knows, Ralph. Now Akira has dismounted and entered the ring with Guyver. They look psyched. And the bell man is awake to ring the–

*Ding!*

Ralph- Akira lunges at Guyver! Guyver spins to the side and delivers a sweeping kick to Akira! Akira recovers quickly but is forced to the defensive as Guyver extends his vibro-blades.

BoB- Guyver certainly likes his vibro-blades. Akira ducks a slash from Guyver and dodges a vertical swipe.

Coffee Man- Get your de-calf heeah!! No calves used in de makin’!!

Ralph- Look at that, BoB. They’ve got a coffee man to go along with the beer man now.

BoB- Thanks for mentioning it, Ralph. Look at the ring.

Ralph- Oh… uh… Guyver’s on the ground. How did that happen?

BoB- Blinded by the coffee man…

Ralph- Guyver was blinded by the coffee man and is on the floor of the ring…

BoB- Dammit, Ralph!

Ralph- Um… sorry. I, uh… Guyver is back up again.

BoB- And Guyver is on the offensive! He catches Akira with a vibro-blade just below the knee, and has drawn blood! Akira balances on his good leg.

Charleston- D’mit, Lenny. See dem ungrat’ul blookes? Git meh dee mop, Lenny.

The goat stares at him.

Charleston- Git meh dee mop, Lenny! D’mit Lenny! Oh, ah’ight. Ah git dee mop….

Ralph- Akira dodged a strike from Guyver, but only fell into a tough kick!

BoB- And Akira is down!

5… 6… 7…

Ralph- Guyver is looking pleased. And Akira is showing signs of movement.

8… 9…

BoB- And Akira is up! He must have been saving his strength.

Ralph- I’m not surprised, if he’s too lazy to walk through the damn arena without his motorcycle.

BoB- That was a quality objective remark there, Ralph…

Ralph- Thanks.

BoB- You little #*@%.

Ralph- Thanks. Well, Akira is putting up a fight, but the wound at his leg is really wearing him down, I think.

BoB- An unfortunate wound for Akira. Akira is evading Guyver’s blows, but with a sluggishness that increases by the minute.

Ralph- — Guyver connects with a nasty metal-plated elbow bash to the skull! Akira is out cold!

BoB- He’s lucky he won’t be able to feel that pain for a while…

Ralph- And Akira isn’t getting back up this time! The ref finishes the second count…

9…10!

BoB- And that’s that! Guyver’s determination prevails!

Ralph- Excellent fight, BoB.

BoB- Then why were you watching the coffee guy?

Ralph- Uh, well, he got coffee an’ stuff… er, so… once again, Guyver defeats Akira.

Winner: Guyver

Ralph- Here’s a fight we’ve been anticipating. Naga v. Happosai.
BoB- the black bitches definatly seem to like to beat the crap out of this leech.

Ralph- that’s right bob…9 out of ten blackbitches agree.. happosai shuld get the crap kicke doutta him.

BoB- and here he comes now.. through the crowd flipping up skirts and grabbing breasts

Ralph- lucky

Bob- and here comes Naga

Naga- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you little pervert.. you think you can defeat me.. the white serpent?

bOB- what’s a white serpant doing in the balck bitches?

Ralph- i don’t know

BoB- here’s the bell

DINGRalph- happosai attacks naga with a.. i can’t tell what movve is that?

BOB- teh grab the really boumncy breast move

Ralph RIGHT!!! and how bouncy they are…

BoB- so bouncy he falls off.. naga then casts a flare arrow spell.. but happosai pulls somethingout of his bag.. it’s a LAPTOP?!

Happosai- hehe het naga.. check this out

Naga- huh?

Ralph- it’s.. and internet site with nude naga pictures poste dup all over it…

Naga- you pervert… HAHAHAHAHAHAH you think you can intimadte me with that? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Happosai: no please stop..

Naga- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ralph- (putting in earplugs) an interesting defence

BoB- where the hell are my earplugs? hey.. stop

Naga- hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Haposai: please stop

Voice- stop

naga- you!?

Happosai: YOU!!

Voice (it’s lina) ME.. happosai after what you pulle don me last week i cannot forgive you.. so i can only do what is neccissary.. for JUSTICE

BOB_ is she possesed by amilia?

ralph- shhh

Lina- happosai.. prepare to die!

Happosai- it’s not like there wa sanything to see

Naga- yes she is quite flat chested

Lina- stop it you two… or else

Happosai: or else what?

Naga- yeah i am more powerful, more beautiful and far more—

Lina- SHUT UP!!!

Happosai: hey lady… naga and i are trying to have a fight here.

Lina- i don’t care i was wronged and therefore you will die.. prepare to face yor destiny…

Happosai: yeah right

Lina- what!?! turn and face me you coward

Naga- let em fight him you flat chested —

Lina- shut up… FIREBALL!!!!

BoB- lina just fried naga..

Ralph- that wan’t nice

Naga- i wish you didn’t do that..

Limna- ohh uhh sorry.. hehe.. haposai.. FIREBALL!!

BoB Lina just fried happosai

ralph- that wasn’t nice

Happosai- grrr.. lina… you’ve you’ve… (starts crying) you’ve hurt my feelings.. all i wanted ot do was have a litle fun .. we’ll fight next week..

BoB- so i guess uhh Naga won that one

Naga- Lina!!! you’ll pay for that

Lina- hehe ok

Winner: Naga

BoB_ Now the uctf prez and vop will face the uctf prez and vp

Ralph- you’re wierd

BOB- here comes president tarot and elex.. they don’tlook ready to fight.. in fact tarot has a briefcase with him. and a microphone

Tarot: allright listen up.. in this breifcase i have many papers.. but only oneis improtant..it’s a restraining order..

Ding!!

Tarot- let me speak!!! it’s an prder saying that the ugandan people can’t come within 100 yards of us.. so.. now tht the bell ha srung.. and 10 second ahve gone by we winn

Tobais: don’t ever cross us.. or we’ll kill you both

Tarot: hehe down boy…

Winner: PREZ AND VP TArot and tobias

BoB- Now everyone, here is a fight that most of us have been waiting for, it is NWD andShayla Shayla vs. Fire N’ Ice. As you all probably know Fire N’ Ice are currently the onlytag team who has fought more than one fight, that is undefeated. But I think the bus mightstop here. Because Shayla Shayla also is the only undefeated single fighter in the UCTF. even though she’s not single…
Ralph- So do I Bob. Fire N’ Ice are great fighters, but it will take quite a bit of strengthand determination to beat a duo like NWD, and Shayla Shayla. I am not saying that it isimpossible, but it is unlikely.

BoB- You’re right Ralph. There also is a little bit of friction I think, between Fireball andShayla. As you remember Shayla was upset about the devastating Burning Winter attack.

Ralph- Yeah, didn’t she say that it made fire cry?

BoB- I think so Ralph, what the hell that means I don’t know, because I can’t see how firecrys but I’ll take her word for it.

Ralph- Ditto. I wouldn’t want to mess with the undefeated Intergalactic Champion. Butyou must weigh too, that Fire N’ Ice work as a team which I think helps to increase theirstrength, and effectiveness.

BoB- And speak of the devil, it is time to begin, and here comes the phenom tag team FireN’ Ice!!!!!

(Crowd begins to cheer)

Ralph- Fireball has just entered the ring, and now here comes NWD and Shayla!

(Crowd begins to cheer again)

BoB- Shayla now enters the ring, and is looking over at Fireball who seems to be payingno attention to her. Man, Fireball and Ice man seem to be looking bigger than usual. Don’tyou think?

Ralph- You’re right, they must have hit the gym pretty hard with all of that nervous energy.

BoB- Hehe, possibly Ralph. And we are now just moments away from the first openingbell, where Fireball, and Shayla Shayla will finally face off.

(Ding)

BoB- And there’s the bell! Shayla lunges towards Fireball and hurls a blast of flames athim! Fireball dodges and counters with a fire ball of his own! Shayla leaps out of the waybut is grazed by the burning flames! Fireball jumps up, bounces off of the second rope andcomes down on the head of Shayla! Shayla Falls to the canvas but is picked back up byFireball and thrown across the ring! Shayla rises and begins to form a ball of fire in herhands but a flying kick from Fireball sends her down! Fireball picks up Shayla once againbut Shayla grabs the head of Fireball and hits him with a head butt! Fireball staggers backa bit but regains his senses.

Ralph- And Shayla is now the aggressor! She comes towards Fireball, and throws a kickto the mid-section of her larger opponent! Fireball covering up is now blocking the kicksthat are being thrown by Shayla!

BoB- Shayla forcing Fireball into the corner continues to try and keep him away with herpowerful kicks! But Fireball catches the foot of Shayla and throws her back! Shayla falls,but gets right back up only to meet a large ball of flames thrown by Fireball! And Shayla issent across the ring and is down!

Ralph- Shayla starts to try and get up but is knocked back down by a punch to the back ofthe head by Fireball! And Dave tags Shayla and enters the ring! NWD leaps at Fireballand tackles him around the mid section! NWD and Fireball are now on the ground andDave works his way on top of Fireball and begins to punch him in the face! Fireballmanages to work his way free, but not until being beaten pretty bad!

BoB- Fireball is disorientated and unable to walk straight, but forms a ball of fire in eachhand and hurls them in the general direction of NWD! Dave tries to leap over the heatseeking fireballs but is struck on the legs, and goes down!

Ralph- But what is this!?!? Dave has gotten back up! He is cut and burned by the twofireballs but is now standing!! How can he take such torment to his legs and still standup!?!

BoB- I don’t know Ralph! but Dave seeming to be in bad condition starts towards a veryhurt Fireball! Fireball throws a pathetic excuse for a punch which connects with the headof NWD. But Dave now grabs the head of Fireball with both hands!!

NWD- Final attack Whisper to a scream!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Fireball- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Ralph- And Dave has used his whisper to a scream technique turning the pain from theflames of Fireball’s heat seeking fire bursts against him, and he falls to his knees, but sendsFireball down and out of the ring!

BoB- Fireball falls out of the ring and is tagged by Ice man! But it appears as thoughShayla is now getting up slowly too! Ice man leaps onto the top of the turnbuckle, forms ahuge brick of ice in his hands and comes down nailing NWD on the head, shattering the icebrick!

Ralph- Dave goes down, but out of nowhere comes a fireball from Shayla!

BoB- And the fireball connects with the chest of Ice man and he is sent back into theturnbuckle! Ice man sends a flowing stream of ice from his hands directly at the body ofShayla Shayla pinning he against the turn buckle! This could be trouble for Shayla!

Ralph- I really can’t say at this point, I still can’t believe that Ice man withstood thefireball from Shayla.

BoB- I think that Ice man, due to his extremely low body temperature has a resistance to acertain degree of heat, but you are right. I think that he is lucky to still be standing after thatblast of the opposite element.

Ralph- NWD has gotten up!!! And he grabs Ice man around the waist and brings him downto the canvas, stopping his flow of ice towards Shayla Shayla!

BoB- And NWD holding Ice man on the ground starts to pummel him just as he didFireball! But this time Ice man is hitting back! Ice man continuously connecting with aright hook to the side of the head of NWD! But Dave is badly beating the center of Iceman’s face! Ice man hits Dave flush in the temple and dazes him long enough to get himselffree from the grip of Dave’s other arm!

Ralph- Ice man staggers to the center of the ring hoping that this will be it for NWD!

BoB- But look! NWD is getting up! He is leaning on the ropes and probably seeing threeof four Ice mans, but is still getting up! A tremendous show of endurance by NWD!

Ralph- And Ice man shakes his head!!! He can’t believe what he is seeing! Ice man raiseshis hands in what looks to be a kick boxing stance and slowly approaches NWD!

BoB- And NWD is very wobbly but also starts walking towards Ice man!

Ralph- This is insane! It should just be called a draw, these two fighters can’t take muchmore of this!

BoB- And Ice man pumps a jab into the face if NWD, and another, and another!!! NWDmay be out of steam here Ralph.

Ralph- Maybe, but he is still standing there.

BoB- That’s right, and now Ice man hits Dave in the knee with a sharp kick! Davestaggers a bit, but somewhat is able to regain his balance. NWD approaches Ice man andfalls over grabbing the legs of Ice man tripping him!!! And once again Ice man is on theground with NWD!

Ralph- Dave seems to be fighting less of a finesse fight and more of a street brawl if youask me.Ralph- But look at this! Ice man using both hands and repeatedly striking Dave on theback of the head and neck! Dave falls off and Ice man once again gets up!

BoB- Ice man out of breath walks over and leans of the ropes…. But Dave is getting backup! Why is he doing this!!! There is no reason to continue fighting, he’s too hurt!

Dave- I know people may think that there is no reason for me to continue fighting because Iam too hurt. But I can’t let Shayla loseeeeee!!!!!!!

BoB- And with a sporadic burst of energy NWD leaps at Ice man, but is met in the air by asoftball size ball of Ice!

Ralph- Dave is bleeding, and probably has internal injuries but still gets up!!!!!!

Dave- You wi.. will… never beat me…

Ice man- You get an A for effort, but… the fight is mine…. tonight….

BoB- Dave ignoring the words of Ice man comes once again at him. Ice man with his righthand cocked leading with his left also approaches NWD. Ice man hits Dave once again inthe knee with a kick. And unloads that big right!!!! And NWD is sent back!

(Shayla Shayla who has been passed out on the canvas raises her head up for the first timesince she has been knocked out)

Shayla- Dave….. stop this…. he is too strong….

Dave- But I can’t let you lose on the count of me…..

Shayla- It’s not….. your fault…. Just stop….

Dave- I’m sorry Shayla… I can’t….

Ralph- And Dave getting up again but is kicked in the side of the ribs and sent back down!

Ice man- (to himself) This can’t go on….

BoB- Ice man goes up to Dave and has picked him up! Ice man throws Dave out of thering and shoots a layer of Ice around the edge of the ring where Dave is. He tries tore-enter the ring but can’t! Shayla is not getting up either!

Reff- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

BoB- And it’s over!! Fire N’ Ice have defeated Shayal Shayla and NWD, and Fire N’ Iceremain undefeated!!!!

Ralph- But just barely, NWD put up a hell of a fight!!!

BoB- That’s right Ralph, I think that, that was the most grueling fight I have ever seen. Inthe UCTF, and anywhere else. My hats off to all four fighters.

Ralph- Mine too. Fire N’ Ice are truly the real thing. They are the first and only fightersto ever beat Shayla, and tarnish her perfect record. But what a fight! Wait shayla’s getting up.

Shayla- ralph.. if it tarnishes my erfect record as a singles fighter than iceman anf firenuts records was tarnished a while back

Ralph- Ok so you’re still undefeated.

Shayla- thank you (she passes out)

BoB- And would you look at that. Ice man has left the ring and walked over to whereNWD is laying.

Ralph- I can’t believe this but, Ice man is actually helping NWD up. Good sportsmanshiphere by both fighters.

BoB- They appear to be saying something to each other but we can not make out just whathe is saying. I would like to find that out sometime though.

Ralph- Me too. But right now we have to get ready for the main event.

BoB- The what? Oh yeah. that.

Winner- Fire N’ Ice

BoB- And now for our min event! This will be the deciding fight for the WorldChampionship!
Ralph- That’s right, facing off tonight, we have Xiahau the Blue Staff vs. Ukyo Kounji. Bob, how do see this fight going?

BoB- Well, Ukyo is a great martial artist but I have to go with Xiahau. He is one toughson of a b*tch.

Ralph- That’s all well and good, but I am fairly certian that my U-Chan will easilyprevail.

BoB- Well Ralph, you can think what you want, but here comes Xiahau!

(Crowd explodes)

Ralph- Oh, Shut up!

BoB- Sit down Ralph. Now here comes Ukyo!

(More cheers, but not as many)

Ralph- YYYYYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BoB- Xiahau is armed with his staff tonight as he is about to take on Ukyo for the WorldChampionship Title. Both fighters are now in the ring and awaiting the first bell.

(Ding)

BoB- There’s the bell! Ukyo lunges with her spatula, and Xiahau with his staff! Xiahauknocks Ukyo back to the ropes and follows through with a strike to her head, but isblocked!

Ralph- Shut up!

BoB- And Ukyo moves away from Xiahau but is tripped by a strike to the legs! Ukyo goesto get up but is now struck down on the head! And she is out cold! It’s over, Xiahauoutclassing his opponent and now the new WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE!!!!

Ralph- F*ck off….

BoB- Not much of main event, but Xiahau is now our World Championship title holder. Good night everyone.

Hello everyone, I’m Bobby Hinden, along with my fight analyst Ralph Gerrard.
Ralph- Hi.

BoB- And this is the night that you all have been waiting for. The deciding match for the Interplanetary Championship, between Devilman, and Guyver. But first off we have a tag match for you. It is Akira, and Vampire Hunter D, vs. the newest addition to the UCTF, Fire And Ice, which consists of Ice man, and Fireball.

Ralph- A very interesting match up I think Bob.

BoB- Indeed it is Ralph. And speaking of Fire and Ice, here they come now!

(Fire and Ice come down the isle, and the crowd explodes)

Ralph- Wow! Listen to that crowd! I don’t ever remember hearing that warm of a welcoming for anyone in the debut match.

BoB- Me either. And they now enter the ring. Down the other isle now is coning Akira and Vampire Hunter D, riding on Akira’s motorcycle.

Ralph- And they are not getting a great reaction from this crowd. I am hearing several boos, and not too many cheers there.

BoB- Akira enters the ring, and he will be first against Ice man.

(Ding)

BoB- And there’s the bell! Akira charges at Ice man, but Ice man dodges out of the way and grabs Akira by the back of the shirt and throws him into the turn buckle! Ice man comes around with an over head hook, and follows through with an uppercut! Ice man throwing a huge flurry of hard punches to the head and mid section of Akira! This looks like trouble!

Ralph- Already…

BoB- Ice man is now holding on to Akira by the neck with his left hand and throwing over hand bombs with his right! Akira is bloody as Ice man takes him by his collar and throws him to the canvas in the center of the ring! Akira is struggling to get up as Ice man runs in and hits him in the shoulder with a kick sends him over to the side of the ring on his back!

Ralph- And look! Vampire Hunter D has tagged his partner and is now entering the ring! Ice man forms a softball sized ice ball in his right hand an hurls it at Vampire Hunter D, who slashes it in half with his huge sword! Ice man charges at Vampire Hunter D and slides under a swing of his sword and trips him with a slide kick!

BoB- And Vampire Hunter D goes down but gets right back up again… But only rises to get crushed in the face by a round house kick from Ice man! And Vampire hunter D falls back to the turn buckle! Ice man grabs Vampire Hunter D’s arm which is holding his sword and puts him in an arm bar! Ice man forces Vampire Hunter D to drop the sword and he lets him go, and throws a side kick to the stomach of Vampire Hunter D sending him once again into the turn buckle!

Ralph- This is a massacre Bob! We haven’t even seen Fireball yet.

BoB- That’s right. And Ice man throws two short uppercuts to the chest of Vampire Hunter D, with a left and a right and hits him with a straight legged kick to the boddom of the chin!

Ralph- And down goes Vampire Hunter D! And in comes Akira, with no tag! Akira leaps at Ice man and grabs him around the arms! But here comes Fireball now! Fareball illuminated with a light red glow hits Akira, who is still holding onto Ice man, in the back and knocks him to the ground! Akira tries to get up but is instead helped up the hard war by Fireball! Fireball throws Akira into the corner and leaps at him and hits him in the stomach with a jump kick! Fireball starts pummeling Akira with a multitude of punches to the head and mid section!

BoB- Look there, Ice man picks up Vampire Hunter D by the collar and lifts him up into the air! And Fireball does the same to Akira! Both fighters throw their opponents out of the ring! And Fire and Ice Have their arms in the air with victory! It is over! Fireball, and Ice man high five as they exit the ring. That’s right, Fire and Ice have made a masterful debut fight, with the annihilation of Akira and Vampire Hunter D!

Ralph- My goodness! Neither Vampire Hunter D, nor Akira had ANY opportunity to use their special powers there, with the quick attacks from Fire and Ice.

BoB- But on that same note, Ice man and Fireball did not use any special powers either. Ice man only threw, what was it? One ice ball?

Ralph- That’s right. You know, I am looking foreword to seeing these two fight again. They obviously outclassed these opponents. And I would like to see how they fare against someone stronger.

BoB- Me too, but keep in mind that there aren’t that many tag teams in the UCTF. There is AX who is tough, but I have a hard time imagining them being able to beat these two, and we also have Crimson wolf, consisting of Beowulf, and Spawn. Who are tough, but not really that much of a tag team. And we have Lina and Zel, who I am not sure if they are a tag team either. So we will really just need to sit back and wait for a while and see what happens.

Ralph- That’s right, but for now let’s move on to our next match, Spawn, vs Artemis.

BoB- Ok here coems spawn and artemis..fighting their way into the ring
Ralph- yeah yeah yeah..spare me the commentary

BoB- That’s our job

Ralph- BLOW ME!

BoB- Shut up ralph. Theyr’ein the ring, the beel hasn’t rung yet and the twolock up

Ralph- yup..this looks like a true battle o strength right now. spawn and artemis just exerting force upon one another

boB- whoever wins this volleyforserve will probably win the match

Ralph- but you know something else? I DON’T GIVE A RAT”S LEFT NUT!!!

BoB- okaayyyy… it’s hard to tell who’swinning right niow since they both seem equally matched here

Ralph- so why the f^%& do we bother huh?

BoB-look I gottapiss.i’ll be right back

Ralph- Oh great leave me here to comemntate on two guys holding each other.. this is so boring I hate this F^%in job. So uh they’re pretty much holding each other. OIh this sucks so much I hate it… I’m gonna go get soemthing to eat.

(several minutes pass by.. and BoB returns first.

BoB- Ralph!?! where the hell did you go? looks like nothing much happened here… thank god…

Ralph- (returns with a few chilli dogs and a dr. pepper

BoB- where the hell did you go?

Ralph- I was bored and hungry so i left to get something to eat.

BoB- you know better

Ralph- guess what? I DON’T CARE!!! nothing happened we missed nothing..they’re just holding each other there.. what the heck am I gonna do!?!

BoB-but something coulda happened.

Ralph- did soemthing happen? no…so sit the f&**^ down and enjoy your wiener

BoB- great while you were giving your mysoginistic diatribe spawn broke the hold and stragled artemis wiht one of his chains…sigh.. pay attention next time..artemis is out and spawn won.

Ralph- WOOPADEEDO!!!

winner:Spawn

BoB- Ok here comes Ryoga..and Fujisawa

Ralph-yeah they’re cool

BoB-Ok ralph..they’re gonna fight each other

Ralph-oh yeah, that’s pretty cool too..BLOOD BLOOD

BoB-yeah OK blood yeah they’re in the ring and ready to go.

Ralph- This has been themost anticipated fight for me.I’ve been looking forward to it.the two strongest fighters in my animayhem deck.

BoB- Yeah they’re pretty powerful.I hear bets have been pouring in from all over as to who will win this matchup. Millions of dollars are at stake in what I’m sure will be a very tough,very long match.

Ralph- That’s right, in fact we talked it over with US PLus and tehy said if the fight lasts longer than our alloted time we can go over.

BoB- I have a feeling we’ll need it. Let’s get ready to fight now.

DING!

Ralph- Fujisawa starts off by attacking Ryoga, but he misses, Ryoga nails him it the back of the head with an elbow attack…

BoB- AND FUJISAWA’S OUT COLD!!!!

Ralph- I guess we may not need that extra time after all huh? Fujisawa- HIC!

Winner-ryoga

Bob- Allright everyone, we have an iteresting fight for you here, It is Mourl, from the Beakless Mourls vs. Zel from the New Light.
Ralph- This will be an intresting fight, because both fighters are coming off of their first loss, which was in the tournamen.

BoB- I agre Ralph, both fighters are really going to want a win here, because two straight losses would not look good.

Ralph- Absolutely Bob, and this is also a high profile card too, it has the deciding fight for the Interplnetary Championship between Guyver, and Devilman. So a lot of people will be watching this.

BoB- That’s right, and here comes the first fighter now, and it is Zel!

(Zel enters)

BoB- And Zel enters the ring, and is looking ready for any trick that Mourl may be planning.

Ralph- There’s Mourl! he has… well… Ummm, kind of appeared over by the turn buckle of the ring.

BoB- No look! Mourl is over there in the crowd!

Ralph- Wait a minute. Mourl is over there at ring side standing next too.. What appears to be another Mourl

BoB- Look over there, and over there. Well, the Mourl sightings are up to eight now, as Mourls just appear to be popping up all over the UCTF arena.

Ralph- Yeah, two more Mourls have appeard in other corners of the ring, and I see six if seven more in the crowd.

BoB- This is a little rediculos Ralph, there are hundreds of beakless turkeys running around here.

Zel- You fool… I don’t care how many ofyou there are, I will destroy you all!

Mourl- ……………….. ………….. ………….. ……….! …………………………….. …………………… ……….. ……………………….? ……. (………. …..) …….,……………… …………….., …… $…. …….!!! ………………. & ……………….. ………….. ……….; …………..: …….., ………., ………..! ……….

Zel- You leave my mother out of this bird!!!!

BoB- Oooohhhh! Mourl is insulting Zel! And Zel charges at the nearest Mourl to him and punches him. Mourl shatters!!!! It was a mirror! Reflecting off the real Mourls somewhere! I can’t believe it! Mourl pulled the old Mourl mirror trick!

Rlaph- I havn’t seen that one since 1982!

BoB- And Zelgadis, charges at another Mourl! And once agin shatters another mirror!

(Mourl starts making weird faces at Zel)

Zel- Damn you Bird! I will find you sooner or later!

BoB- And Zel leaps into the first row and smashes another mirror Mourl!

Rlaph- Zel is working his way back through the crowd smashing mirror Mourl, after mirror Mourl!

Zel- I will find you! And when I do!!!

BoB- And Zel is really pissed off now! He is smashing away at all these mirror Mourls! And Zel just picked up a beer salesman and threw him at a mirror Mourl! Zel Picks up Lennym and throws him at another mirror Mourl!

Ralph- But look! Lenny is pissed!

(Lenny charges at Zel)

Charleston- (Still sitting in the fron row) dat Lenny haf bn’ getn a h’t dog fr a long tem there.

BoB- And Lenny head butts Zel in the back! It didn’t have too much affect because Lenny has no horns, and hs to be careful of his glasses, but I think that it is the thought that really counts in this case.

Ralph- Me too. And Zel pushes lenny back and is still serching for Mourl. And here comes Anthony Maltempi!!

BoB- I thought he was dead.

Ralph- Me too, oh well Anthony walks into the ring, and is leaving a trail of grease behind him. And I think that, that pissed off Charleston!

BoB- And Charleston breaks a mop over his knee and throws the sharp part through Anthony’s chest! And he falls down dead!

(The crowd explodes!)

BoB- Listen to that crowd! Everyone is on their feet cheering for charleston! Because they all hate that little bastard Anthony!

Ralph- Look at that! The mirror that was in the ring was not a Mirror Mourl! It was a real Mourl!

BoB- THe ref looks at mourl, and looks into the crowd where Zel is, and Zell is counted out! Mourl wins!

Ralph- I was going to say this sooner, but you NEVER leve the ring when you are fighting Mourl! Because chances are he’s still in there somewher! Wow, that was one interesting fight to say the least.

BoB- Yeah it was. But we had better move on to our next match. Naga vs. Ifurita.

Winner- Mourl

BoB- and now we have Naga v. Ifurita an underdarker v a new lighter.
Ralph- what will they think of next?

BoB- yeah I know, it’s my understandng, however, that Ifurtia is under the controlof our very own persident Tarot.

Ralph- It’s my understanding that you’re big fat harry dildo.

boB- ralph, get off the crack and get on with the match.

Ralph- Ya know what!? BLOW ME!!!

BoB-now ralph..

ralph- don’t now ralph me I’m sickof being your stupid sidekick..i wanna have my own show with dancing girls and dangerous stunts… no buddist writers either.

BoB- Ralph, you know damn well you’re under contract with US PLUS..you can’t leave.

Ralph- YEah!?! watch me…

(he leaves)

BoB- so i guess I’m on my own now. the two are in the center of the ring and ready to go

DING

BoB- AND THEY’RE OFF!!! Naga uses herflare arrow attack against the deamon-god who dodges them easilly..she counters with a lightning attack form her key staff… which also misses. Naga counters with a giga bolt,which connects sending ifurita to the ground.. she gets up and sends a few tornadoes at Naga, one pickes her up and throws her at a turnbuckle. the others destroy half of the ring. I guess we’ll need a new one for the final matchup. Naga gets up, brushes herself off and attacks Ifurita with a fireball spell. Ifurita is hit and goes down on the president who is sitting ringside. She gets off and goes back into the ring, ready to fight some more. Naga laughs a lot and Ifurita gets a little upset and attacks her with afireball from her key staff.. it hits naga in the..uh one of her uhh.. you know and bounces back at Ifurita. Ifurita falls again. She gets up and hears the presidentsay something to her.

Ifurita- YES SIR!!!

BoB- and she flies away to do what she was asked to do. The count is ten and Naga wins after out fighting Ifurita nayway.

Winner- Naga (ifurita comes back in carrying ralph she sits him down at his spot)

Ifurita- stay there or else you will be dead like..uh bad tea or soemthing.

BoB- Ralph,you gotta quit the drugs.

Ralph- oh yeah..BLOW ME AGAIN>> HARDER!!!

Ifurita- Ralph….

Ralph- I mean uh..let’s get on with ourlast match.

BoB- All right everyone! it is the time that you have all been waiting for! The main event, Devilman vs. Guyver. now THIS should be an interesting fight! It is the third time that these two have met in the ring, Both of which the first two Devilman won.
Ralph- This will be a hard fight to call Bob. Because Guyver is probably itching for some revenge on the only fighter to ever beat him.

BoB- Was Devilman the only fighter to ever beat Guyver?

Ralph- I think so. And Devilman I am sure wants to finally take a championship since he got soooo close to the last one, but was not able to make that final curve. So I think that both fighters have very legitimate reasons to win, besides just wanting to win.

BoB- You’re right, but hold that thought Ralph, here comes Guyver now!

(The crowd cheers)

Ralph- Wow, Guyver seems to have a lot of friends here tonight. More than he has had any other time.

BoB- Wait a minute. Is that security escorting out the people that shouldn’t be here?

Ralph- I believe it is. With such a huge event like this one, it can be hard to keep out those who don’t have a ticket.

BoB- Oh well. Guyver enters the ring, and now we are awaiting Devilman.

Ralph- I wonder if he is going to try and pull some fancy entrance or something?

(The lights go out, and huge spot lights brightly light up only the ring, and Devilman enters from above, no one can see where he came from due to the darkness everywhere but the ring)

Ralph- Wow! This is amazing! Absolutely nothing can be seen but the ring, which is oddly enough, as bright as day.

BoB- I like it though. Both fighters stand in their corners awaiting the bell. Neither man saying a word to the other.

(Ding)

BoB- And there’s the bell! As our main event gets underway! Guyver carefully approaches Devilman, and is sizing him up, making sure not to make any hasty decisions.

Ralph- Which is a good idea too, considering he has already lost twice to Devilman.

BoB- Devilman also sizing up the Guyver unit, makes the first move! Devilman shoots a lazer from his antenna hitting Guyver in the chest and knocking him back a bit. Guyver now leaps at Devilman with a kick, but the kick is dodged! Guyver extending his vibro blades slashes twice quickly at Devilman who jumps back and out of the way! Devilman lunges at Guyver, staying low and tries to get a punch in but misses! Devilman grabs the wrists of Guyver in order to keep him from using his vibro blades on him! Guyver kicks Devilman in the stomach forcing him to let go, and double over! Guyver knees Devilman in the face and sends him to the canvas! Devilman is down!

Ralph- Guyver leaps in the air and comes down on Devilman with one foot! Devilman is really hurt here, and could be in trouble!

BoB- Devilman tries to grab the leg of Guyver but is picked up and thrown out of the ring! Much of the crowd is cheering however there are about an equal amount of boos.

Ralph- This is odd, we can not see Devilman at all due to how dark it is out of the ring. We can just se Guyver in the ring ready to celebrate victory…

BoB- But Devilman jumps back in, and grabs Guyver from the side, and throws him to the ground! Guyver tries to get up but is kicked in the head and dent back! Guyver rolls backward and retains his footing, but Devilman lunges at him again, this time with a huge punch to the head, sending Guyver to the turn buckle! Guyver re-extends his vibro blades and walks towards Devilman!

Ralph- That is a good move there by Guyver. as long as he has those things out, no one in the right mind would charge into him.

BoB- And Devilman charges into Guyver!

Ralph- He must be out of his mind! And the two lock up!

Devilman- You can’t scare me with those Guyver! I have fought worse.

Guyver- Scare you? Probably not. But I can KILL YOU!

Devilman- Give it your best shot!

BoB- Devilman is holding the arms of Guyver once again trying to avoid the deadly vibro blades. And Guyver omits a beam from his head sends Devilman across the ring to the ropes! Guyver forms a ball of energy in his hands and hurls it over at Devilman! Devilman able to dodge out of the way a little bit, but is still hit by the impact of the explosion and sent into the air and onto the ropes! This could be trouble again for Devilman!

Ralph- Guyver approaches Devilman and grabs him and pulls him back into the ring1 This has been Devilman’s hardest fight against Guyver yet if I may say so myself.

BoB- Guyver with both hands, throws Devilman into the torn buckle and leaps at him with a jump kick! And Guyver connects in the chest of Devilman! And Guyver starts unloading on Devilman with fierce hooks and elbow shots! Devilman appears to be helpless, and is now very bloody!

Ralph- Guyver pulls Devilman foreword and knees him out of the ring. And Devilman has vanished from sight!

(Devilman crawls back into the ring and stands up)

BoB- Oh my God! how can anyone come back from a beating like that! And still stand..

Devilman- Is that it?

Ralph- Devilman wants more!!! Beaten and bloody he is still ready to fight!

Guyver- Absolutely…

BoB- Guyver runs at Devilman and throws several lefts, and rights to the head , but most are parried by the forearms of Devilman! Devilman leaps toward the mid section of Guyver and tackles him, pinning him on the ground. Devilman holding down the arms of Guyver head butts him in the face five, no six times!!! And the face mask of Guyver is now severely damaged and cracked! Devilman now with a bloody fore head, stands up and dizzily takes a few steps back.

Devilman- Okay, so that wasn’t the best idea I have ever had….

Ralph- And the control medal, or something on Guyver’s head has activated, and shoots Devilman out of the ring! It could be over here folks. Guyver may be our new champion!

BoB- And Devilman leaps back into the ring at Guyver and slashes with his claws the face of Guyver totally removing a good portion of the Guyver unit and putting four deep claw marks in the face of Sho (the man who wears the Guyver)

Devilman- I told you I would not be killed easily!!!

Guyver- (Grasping his face) You did?

Devilman- Maybe not, but I am saying it now!

Guyver- Screw you!

(Guyver shoots a beam out of his head and blows Devilman against the ropes. Devilman bounces off and smacks back into Guyver)

BoB- Guyver hitting himself with Devilman lays on the ground too! Both fighters struggling to get up! Devilman rises first and walks over to the bloody Guyver!

Ralph- He picks Guyver up buy the neck, and is barely able to toss him over into the turnbuckle. Devilman limps over it the Guyver and grabs his face!

BoB- Devilman squeezing the face of Guyver looks as though he is trying to use his trade mark method of killing demons. The old face crush!

Ralph- But Devilman is unable to! he is too weakened. But Guyver starts to throw some punches! Some of which are connecting!

BoB- Devilman hits Guyver in the face with an antenna lazer, and blood is now flowing freely from the face of Guyver! This could be it folks! Devilman grabs Guyver under the arms and throws him over the edge of the ring!

Ralph- If Guyver does not re-enter the ring in ten seconds he will be counted out!

Ref-1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10! He’s out!

BoB- AND IT’S OVER!!! IT’S ALL OVER!!! DEVILMAN IS OUR NOW REIGNING INTERPLANETARY CHAMPION!!!!!!

(all the lights come back on to reveal Guyver at the side of the ring still trying to get back in. Devilman throws both arms in the air with the little strength that he has left)

Ralph- Wow- That was one amazing fight! And Devilman has had to really work for this title!

(Members of Underdark run through the masses of people to the crowded ring, to help celebrate Devilman’s victory)

BoB- Devilman deserved that one. Especially after that final round loss to Shayla Shayla last tournament. And Devilman approaches Guyver who has healed a bit now, to say good fight. And Guyver said something back there, but I can’t quite make out what it was. It could have been thank you, or f#ck you. I am not sure.

Ralph- And that’s it folks, Devilman is our first Interplanetary Champion! And we will have to be out of here now. We need our rest before the lethal lottery tag tournament…

BoB- Good lord, it never ends does it?

Ralph- I don’t think so Bob. But until next time I’m Ralph Gerrard saying,BLOW ME!

Ifurita- RALPH!!

Ralph- I mean see ya next time!!!