Bob: Coming to you live from the UCTF Arena in Anime City, I am Robert Hinden, along-side everyone’s favorite hentai commentator, Ralph Gerrard to call another great episode of exciting UCTF action!
Ralph: yep…
Bob: Tonight, an epic feud will FINALLY… FINALLY come to an end, as Inuyasha will defend the UCTF Intergalactic Championship against Raven Darc in our main event! Also, Marcella will take on Rosinthorn in action. Blu De’Ragnarok will attempt to halt newbie Eblis Drakar’s momentum, and— seriously Ralph. O_o What’s wrong with you NOW?
Ralph: Look who’s in the ring already… AGAIN.

*Bob turns from his broadcast partner to see that Ric Austin is already inside the squared circle and one again, armed with a damn microphone!*

Bob: REALLY?! This is getting damned ridiculous!

Ric: Alright. e_e look—

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

*Ric tries to ignore the violent jeering from the crowd…*

Ric: I stubbed my toe last time in my match against Drakar. I get it. But that was a fluke. Tonight I’m going to prove myself, as the TXA TOURNAMENT CHAMPION by defeating the biggest dog in the yard. That’s right. I PERSONALLY challenged Xamot! Xamot, get your big zombie ass out here and let’s do this! You’re going to be my stepping stone to main eventing an episode of UCTF MASS—

*The Jobber’s speech is cut short by the instant darkening of the arena, a split second before “Forever Torment” begins to play over the massive UCTF sound system. Austin has his wish, as Xamot leads a spotlight down the aisle and towards the ring.*

Bob: And here comes Xamot, to answer the challenge of Ric Austin.
Ralph: I don’t know what’s wrong with this guy, but every week he becomes more and more erratic. I think he’s starting to come down with dementia or something.
Bob: Perhaps…

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to UCTF Massacre! The following is our opening contest. Introducing first, already inside the ring, RIIICC AUSTIN!!! And his opponent, making his way down the aisle, hailing from the bamboo forests of Japan… He is the Legendary Demon of the UCTF… XAAAAMOOTTTTT!!!

*Using every bit of strength he has and with the aid of the top rope, Ric slingshots his wide body over the top rope, successfully crash landing on top of Xamot’s body!*

Everyone: O_O!

Bob: Sneak attack by Ric!
Ralph: That will come back to bite him on the ass. Trust me. e_e

*Never the less, Ric Austin has a jump on the demon as the sound of the bell rings, officially starting the match up!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Ric Austin vs. Xamot

*Determined to receive an amount of respect he feels he’s earned from the UCTF Crowd (I mean, this guy is pure, straight up human and has survived in the UCTF for years… I’d say he’s earned it) he launches a furious attack on the Legendary Demon of the UCTF! He rains down a string of punches to the skull that, unfortunately for Ric Austin, bare ZERO effect on the monster!*

Xamot: e_e

Ric: OH SH—

*Austin quickly aborts his attack and rolls off of Xamot in a half-assed attempt to escape. His wrestling worn body is way too slow, however, as he’s quickly snatched from behind. Now palming the jobber’s masked skull like a Lebron James holding a basketball, Xamot torpedoes the poor bastard across the floor and into the steps at the corner of the ring! The steps take off like a football player being caught flatfooted and crash into the fan’s guardrail with Ric Austin right behind it!*

Bob: JESUS!
Ralph: I told you.

*What’s more amazing than the impressive throw is the fact that Ric is almost immediately back to his feet. No one knows if it’s from pure toughness, drugs, or from years of being dumped on his head, but it’s enough to allow Ric Austin time to slide inside the ring and gain the higher ground on Xamot, who’s still yet to climb into the squared circle!*

Ralph: That mask must have some hella padding in it.
Bob: Or he’s just running on fumes. I’ve never seen anyone hit the stairs like that head first!

*Ric however, proves Bob wrong, displaying an immense presence of mind. Just as Xamot begins to climb onto the apron, Ric barrels forward, hitting a dropkick through the middle rope that connects with the demon’s mid-section! Xamot doubles over and flies several feet from the ring and onto the cold concrete below!*

Bob: Another big shot by Ric Austin!
Ralph: wait for it…

*Xamot absorbs the kick! Upon impact with the ground below, he rolls backward and to his feet in a single motion! He resumes stalking his prey by reclimbing the apron, while Ric Austin hits the opposing ropes, gaining speed like a locomotive!*

Bob: Here comes Ric again!

*The Enhancer dives once more for the drop kick, and this time, XAMOT catches his feet!*

Ric: O_O

*The crowd collectively groans as they know what is next to come for the poor Jobber! Xamot pulls the rotund masked wrestler out of the ring by his legs, and quickly locks on a goozle around his neck!*

Bob: Oh, this is not good!
Ralph: I told you to wait for it!

*Xamot climbs to the apron, then slowly climbs to the top rope! The entire time, his hold around the neck of the jobber tightens!*

Bob: This is not looking well for Ric Austin!
Ralph: He’s going to need to worry about re-learning how to walk soon. Forget about main eventing a UCTF Massacre show.

*Xamot then transforms into FULL demon capacity, taking to the sky, while choking the life out of Ric Austin!*

Bob: The top rope wasn’t enough! He’s taking Ric to the cheap seats!

*Seconds later, Xamot crash-lands in the center of the ring, delivering a devastating, thunderous “Demon Slam” in the center of the ring! The velocity causes the ring to buckle before it implodes upon itself. Austin is involved by the collapsing canvas while cables snap and the ropes fall apart. The poles supporting the ring all fall forward, creating an “X” in the center of the ring, making a make-shift marker for Ric Austin’s burial site!*

Bob: CHOKESLAM! EPIC CHOKESLAM!
Ralph: Nothing starts off UCTF competition like a massive Ric Austin ass beating. That was incredible.

*The referee, who managed to dive out of the ring signals for the bell, as it would be an insult to everyone’s intelligence to make the count.*

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And with one move, Xamot has defeated Ric Austin in UCTF competition! What a way to start off tonight’s broadcast!

Winner: Xamot

*Backstage, the one-time President of the UCTF, Jeice, finds himself cleaning the floors of the men’s bathroom in the Grand Arena.*

Jeice: ;_; Don’t call my name, don’t call my name, Alejandro, I’m not your babe, I’m not your babe, Fernando—

*The door kicks open, revealing the “Benefactor” of the UCTF and his personal assistant, Reiji!*

Sasa: Hey, asshole. >=| Where is Inuyasha? There’s some Japanese bitch from Japan who keeps calling. I’m getting tired of it.

Jeice: How the hell am I supposed to know?

Sasa: Word on the street is that you two have been hanging out a lot lately.

Reiji: e_e Caw.

Jeice: That’s none of your business. Go find him on your own mate. I’m workin’ here.

Sasa: Yeah, and you’re doing a shitty job of it. e_e Reiji.

*Reiji promptly, as if it were rehearsed, pulls out his manhood and takes what has to be the longest piss in the history of mankind right there on the floor!*

Jeice: Oh God… now THAT’S not going to sit well with the FCC.

Sasa: You missed a spot. e_e Oh, and if you see the mutt anywhere around here, tell him some slut named Kagome keeps calling talking about a “New Moon” and if she keeps wasting out long distance minutes, I’ll be forced to take it out of his paycheck.

*Sasa leaves, while Reiji spits on the floor before following him.*

Jeice: Wow.. that guy has a strong bladder…

*Back in the main arena, the fighting ring has been magically restored thanks to the work of the best ring crew in the business! Arzie stands in the center of the squared circle…*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall… Introducing first, hailing form Hellunia, and wielding the claymore known as the Blade of Corruption… he is known as EBLIS NICKLEHEART DRAKARRRR!!!

*Eblis makes his way down the aisle, preparing to take the next step in UCTF competition!*

Bob: Eblis debuted with an impressive victory over Ric Austin last time, and tonight, he will be facing the Blue Mage.
Ralph: The second match up matter in the UCTF. It’s real easy to steamroll some loser like Ric Austin, but in the next match you have to step up your game and fight someone who can actually defend themselves. Let’s see what happens.

*Once Eblis enters the ring, “Eternal Gravestones” begins to play. Blu De-Ragnarok makes his way down the aisle, determined to avenge his heartbreaking loss to Dimitri on our previous episode.*

Arzie: And introducing his opponent… hailing from Aht Urhgan, he wields the dual blades known as Tizona and Beast Slayer… He is known as the Blue Mage…. Welcomeeee BLU DE’RAGNAROK!!!!

*The crowd gives it up for Blu as he steps inside the squared circle as well. Arzie retreats as our match between the two young up and comers in the UCTF prepare to do battle.*

Bob: Alright! Let’s get this match underway!

!!DING DING DING!!

Eblis Drakar vs. Blu De’Ragnarok

*Blu aggressively attacks following the sound of the bell towards Drakar, darts out of the Blue Mages path with such intense speed that for a moment it seems that he vanishes! His image reappears to the side of the off balance Mage, punishing Blu’s speed with a lightning fast punch to the side of the head, following a strike to the back with the flat of his claymore. The quick combination of attacks sends the Mage off his feet, crash landing face first on the canvas. That’s when the camera gets a few of the Mage’s back, as two strange and ominous marks remain from the strike point.*

Bob: Blu rushes in blindly and gets quickly dealt with!
Ralph: And it looks like Eblis left some sort of tattoo where he attacked. Don’t you have to sign a waiver before you agree to a tattoo?!
Bob: not in the UCTF!

*Just as the Mage rolls to his back, Drakar pounces, bringing the claymore down in a chopping motion! Blu, with both blades crisscrossed, blocks the blade. Driving his foot into the mid-section of his opponent, De’Ragnarok performs a makeshift monkey-flip with the aid of his weapons, sending Eblis crash-landing chin first into the canvas behind him. Both warriors quickly leap back to their feet simultaneously into their respective fighting stances, at a stalemate.*

Bob: Neither man want to let the other gain the upperhand this early in the contest.
Ralph: A lot is riding on this contest, Bob. Whoever wins gains momentum that could propel them closer to the Weaponmaster Championship.

*Now becoming the aggressor, Eblis charges towards Blu, swinging the five foot long Claymore around like it’s nothing more than a paperweight! Blu ducks the big decapitating strike, reacting with four quick slashes of his own! Eblis parries away every single attack with his weapon, following through with a big kick that sends De’Ragnarok into the ropes. Blu rebounds, using the momentum given to him by the ring ropes and strikes back; three more incredibly fast slashes of Blu’s two blades are batted away before the Mage falls victim to the hilt of Drakar’s claymore to the bridge of the nose! As Blu hits the canvas once more, the camera reveals more markings on his body, thanks to each strike he received in their quick exchange. Blu responds by performing a quick sweep to Eblis’ body, knocking the big man down to size! Both performers leap to their feet at the same time, creating another stalemate! *

Ralph: Looks like Blu just can’t match speed for speed with Eblis!
Bob: Eblis is dangerously fast on his feet for a man at his height, indeed. Blu gives away thirty pounds and 7 inches to his opponent.
Ralph: Right, and I have a bad feeling for those little marks that keep accumulating with each attack from the big guy.

*Retreating to the corner of the ring, Blu De’Ragnarok quickly casts a spell known as “Azure Learning” which will aid the Blue Mage in quickly learning his opponents fighting style.*

Ralph: Oh here we go with this magic bullshit. You know I tried to sit down and read this guy’s abilities the other day and he had like 3000 different spells to choose from. I gave up after 30 minutes.
Bob: He does have a large catalog of abilities Ralph! It makes it that much more difficult for his opponent to figure out what kind of attack he’s going to hit them with!

*The warriors charge each other once more! This time, with the aid of his technique, Blu begins to dodge every strike that Eblis can throw at him!*

Bob: Whatever Blu did, it seems to be working! Eblis can’t hit him!
Ralph: I’m not only calling bullshit, but I’m calling CHEATING!
Bob: How can you do that with no rules?!
Ralph: EASILY. BULLSHIT! YOU’RE CHEATING, ASSHOLE!

*Blu leaps over a BIG slash and punishes with four charging strikes into Eblis!*

Bob: Vorpal Blade by De’Ragnarok!

*Charging one of the blades with pyro energy, Blu strikes Eblis down with another powerful strike!*

Bob: Red Lotus Blade by De’Ragnarok!

*Blu leaps into the air, driving the hilt of his blade right into Eblis’s skull! This brings Drakar down to his knees, easy prey for Blu’s next technique! Filling his blade with pure light energy, he delivers a slash that knocks Drakar clear across the ring!*

Bob: And he finishes with the Seraph Blade! Drakar is in big trouble now!
Ralph: Big trouble? It should be over after that blitzkrieg of attacks!

*Eblis slowly climbs to his knees, and is sporting a twisted grin on his face. And after a prompt ass beating that he just received, the crowd is understandably confused as to why he’s smiling. That is when Drakar begins an unintelligible chant of an ancient language that seems harmless at first, until the dark markings left on Blu’s body begins to spread and gather into a void like encasing of pure darkness!*

Blu: ?!

Ralph: I knew those tattoos were bad business! What’s about to happen?!
Bob: Hell if I know!

*Eblis uses “Now you’re Just like Me” a technique that corrupts his opponents very soul! Blu falls to the canvas in the fetal position, trying to stop Eblis’s invasion inside of his body. This allows Drakar to recover and unleash a flurry of lightning fast strikes!*

Bob: Eblis has turned this match around dramatically in a matter of seconds!
Ralph: I knew those marks were doing something! e_e
Bob: WE KNOW!

*Now with his clothes torn to shreds… and his body riddled with cuts throughout, Blu remains only slightly conscious on one knee, a fish in a barrel for Eblis, who stands above him, preparing to finish him off!*

Bob: This looks to be the end!

*The moment he lifts his blade into the air, Blu summons his spell, “Light of Penance” that engulfs his body and physically blocks Drakar’s attack seconds before it connects!*

Eblis: O_O

Everyone: O_O

Ralph: He’s like an iPhone, but instead of apps, he’s got a spell for that!

*Using “Azure Lore” to beef up all of his power, Blu puts it all into one final, massive uppercut that lands right on the chin of Drakar! The strike knocks the poor bastard off of his feet, sending him clear over the top rope and to the floor below!*

Crowd: OOOOH!!!

Bob: WHAT A STRIKE! JESUS!
Ralph: Reminds me of that episode of Martin when “Hitman” Tommy Hearn knocked Martin literally out of the ring. HEH! I loved that show.

*The referee rushes to Eblis’ aid throwing his hands in front of the dark being’s face as he counts to ten. Drakar cannot respond and the referee quickly calls for the bell!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And that’ll do it!
Ralph: That was one hell of a punch.
Bob: Blu De’Ragnarok recovers from his small speed bump at the hands of Dimitri last week and resumes his winning ways! Is the Weaponmaster Championship nearing his grasp?!

Winner: Blu De’Ragnarok

*Speaking of the Weaponmaster Championship, the cameras go to the back, as Inuyasha has entered the arena! The double champion has his usual stern look in his eyes, as in only a few moments from now, will face Raven Darc one more time for the Intergalactic Championship!*

Bob: There he is!
Ralph: I spoke to Raven Darc earlier today. He is NOT in a good mood. Hell, he hasn’t been in a good mood ever since he and Inuyasha’s Adamant Barrage crossed paths.

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall!

*“Super Villain” by Powerman 5000 starts up, bringing down the Negaverse Warrior, Rosinthorn*

Arzie: Introducing first… hailing from the Negaverse, he is the super villain known as ROSINTHORRNNNNNN!!

Bob: Here comes Rosinthorn, who has had his problems with Lo-Ruhamah over the past few weeks…
Ralph: so naturally, Sasa Dark thought it would be funny to put him in a match against Lo-Ruhamah’s significant other.
Bob: Why would you—
Ralph: OH COME ON. EVERYBODY KNOWS THEY’RE DOING IT. Don’t be an idiot, Bob.
Bob: okay o_o

*The magical being climbs into the ring, seconds before “Let Me Be Your Armor” begins to play over the sound system…*

Arzie: and his opponent… she is the disgraced demon huntress… being accompanied to the ring by her demonic Doberman, Clement… she is MARRRCEELLAAAA GRAAACCEEE!!!

Marcella: D:

Ralph: OUCH!
Bob: Arzie pulling no punches with ring announcing duty tonight… But he’s correct, things have been down for Marcella ever since her heartbreaking loss against the Dog Demon, Inuyasha.

*Marcella climbs into the ring, hoping to redeem herself with a win against Rosinthorn!*

Marcella Grace vs. Rosinthorn

Ralph: Uhh.. is it me, or does nun-puppies have a strange look in her eye tonight?
Bob: I haven’t noticed…

!!DING DING DING!!

*And with the sound of the bell, Marcella flings her petite body across the ring towards her opponent!*

Everyone: O_O

Rosinthorn: O_O

!!THUNK!!

*A quick, running clothesline almost takes the unsuspecting Rosinthorn out of his boots!*

Bob: Ok, maybe there IS something different about her tonight! I’ve never seen her act so aggressively so early on!

*Rosinthorn quickly regains his bearings after the surprising clothesline and quickly teleports off of the mat. Less than a second later, dark energy manifests itself behind Marcella, as Rosinthorn reappears. He brings his sword with a quick downward slash in attempt to disembowel the nun, but is surprised by Marcella’s quick read! She blocks the sword strike with her own blade, before delivering a vicious front kick to the chest! Knocked clear out of the sky, Rosinthorn teleports before his body can hit the ground. He reappears once more on the top turnbuckle behind Grace.*

Bob: Quick reaction time there by Grace!
Ralph: Definitely.

*The “Super Villain,” ready to put an end to this fight just as early as his opponent, suddenly conjures his “B.F.G.” a gigantic, even comical like gun that he has pulled from the nether regions of his trench coat. Marcella’s eyes double in size at the sight of the weapon, just before instinctively throwing her body out of the way of several laser blasts emitted from the gargantuan gun!*

Ralph: holy CRAP! Compensating much, Rosinthorn?!

*Marcella leaping out of the past of the beam is exactly what Rosinthorn wanted her to do, as he now explodes across the ring in a blur, yanking his sword from it’s sheath in an instant! However, what he didn’t expect was for Marcella to be equally as fast to unearth her twin DESERT EAGLE pistols! Marcella gets off two shots which are parried away by Rosinthorn’s blade. Fearing being hit, Rosinthorn teleports again, leaving Marcella to dive roll into a crouching position.*

Bob: if you blinked, you may have just missed that exchange!

*Now alone inside the squared-circle, Marcella spins around with her pistols drawn, trying to locate her now missing opponent.*

Ralph: OH SHIT LOOK—

* Unfortunately, she fails to check directly above her! The unsuspecting villain plants a MASSIVE missile drop kick directly to the nun’s face! The momentum of being hit from such a ridiculous height sends Marcella rolling backwards, with her pistols flying out of the ring!*

Bob: What an INCREDIBLE kick from Rosinthorn!

*Much to her credit, Marcella wills herself back to her feet, quickly re-engaging her opponent with a flurry of strikes! Rosinthorn, easily the more polished hand-to-hand fighter effortlessly blocks every strike that the blurred Marcella can throw at him, before quickly putting her into the mat with a stiff strike!*

Ralph: uh oh…
Bob: Marcella started strong, but Rosinthorn has quickly taken control of this match-up! Marcella needs to think quickly before this match gets out of control!

*It may be too late for the nun, as Rosinthorn’s sadistic side begins to shine through… Using his dark-arts, tentacle like limbs emerge from his jacket, wrapping themselves around the leg of the nun! Looking towards the hard camera with a sick smirk, it’s almost as if Thorny is calling out to Lo-Ruhamah before lifting Marcella upside down via tentacle!*

Ralph: Now.. I.. I’ve seen a lot of movies that start out like this.
Bob: Ralph Shutup!
Ralph: I’m just saying.. we might be getting ready to see some vintage 1999 UCTF stuff here.

*Luckily for all of us, Ralph’s pervish suggestion is proven wrong. Rosinthorn slams Marcella into the canvas viciously by the leg, lifts her up, and repeats the motion a second time! The crowd winces with sympathy pains as their forced to watch their beloved heroine jarred into the mat from atleast seven feet up!*

Bob: CHRIST!! She has to be unconscious after those two slams!
Ralph: If not… it looks like Rosie is going for a third…

*Rosinthorn does just that, slamming the petite body of the nun into the canvas as if he’s trying to put her THROUGH it! And he’s one done.. upon the third slam, Rosinthorn sends a jolt of dark energy through his tentacle, rocking the nun with a massive ki blast!*

Bob: A third slam followed by that hellacious blast!! That’s enough Rosinthorn! That’s got to be it!

*Marcella lies motionless, leaving Rosinthorn to casually stroll over to her prone body and placing his foot on her chest. The referee quickly slides into position…*

1… 2… 2.9999999999

*But it’s no good! Grace SOMEHOW kicks out of the pin attempt!*

Ralph: a total lax pin attempt, but it shouldn’t have mattered.. after all that punishment nun-puppies just took… nobody should have been able to get up from that!

*Still completely out of it, Marcella is easy pickings for Rosinthorn, who goozles her before tossing her AIRBORNE!*

Bob: NOT GOOD—

*She lands on his shoulders, upside down and hooked!*

Ralph: OH NO!
Bob: Fall from Grace Driver!

*Preparing to dump Marcella on her head, Rosinthorn is quickly surprised by his opponents ability to wiggle her way out of the Fall From Grace driver, into a school-boy roll up!*

Bob: REVERSED!

*Again, the referee is in PERFECT position for the count!*

1…. 2… 2.9999999999999!!!

*And again, at the last POSSIBLE second, the pinned kicks out of the attempt!*

Ralph: I almost had a heart attack!
Bob: And how ironic would it have been for Marcella to be defeated via the “Fall from Grace” Driver?

*Almost defeated, but sensing victory EVER so close, Rosinthorn grabs Marcella’s leg, which he abused just seconds earlier with his tentacle slams… He wraps his demonic legs around hers in a grapevine type hold before falling backwards!*

Bob: Submission locked by Rosinthorn!! This is bad news for Marcella!
Ralph: I spoke to Rosinthorn earlier.. he calls this the “Pride Breaker” he’s simultaneously trying to break the leg, while sending dark thoughts into the head of his opponent in an attempt to break them… to get them to submit.
Bob: You… spoke to this guy backstage?
Ralph: We were in line at KFC, which is why is was very strange for him to be talking about submission holds to me.

*The pain is almost unbearable for Marcella to withstand! As all hope disintegrates before the audiences eyes, Marcella reaches into her coat, struggling to find something to break the hold. Her prayers are answered in the form of a 28-inch barrel shotgun!*

Rosinthorn: o_o
Marcella: x_e applesauce.

!!BOOOOOOM!!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!

Bob: o_o…
Ralph: …that was a direct shot to the face with a shotgun. Bob, do we still have a rule that we have to use non-lethal ammo here?
Bob: Yes, but at that range Ralph, you could be shooting a box of confetti and it would still hurt like a bitch!

*Rosinthorn is almost completely incapacitated from the blast, allowing Marcella to slide herself out of the tight submission attack. Slowly climbing to her feet, Marcella is greeted by the cheers of the crowd, screaming for her to get up before her much stronger opponent, Rosinthorn does!*

Bob: This is a race to the feet! Who will win?!

*Marcella uses the rest of her strength to dive on top of Rosinthorn! Ralph becomes effectively jealous when she straddles the villain, but not for long, as Grace brandishes both of her semi-automatic weapons from her jacket!*

Ralph: holy crap! Where does she get such wonderful toys?!

!!RATTATTATATAATATTTTAATATTATATTTATATTTAT!!

Bob: BAPTISM IN BLOOD BY MARCELLA! We haven’t seen this in AGES!

*The spray of gunfire render Rosinthorn completely unconscious, with Marcella collapsing on top of the negaverse villain! The referee is right there to make the academic count…*

1……… 2…………. 3!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And it’s over! Great win for Marcella Grace!
Ralph: That was one hell of a come back… I need to talk to Both of their tailers to see how I can fit a bunch of shit inside my coat like them… Jesus.

Winner: Marcella Grace

*Marcella rolls off of her defeated opponent, while Clement enters the ring, licking his exhausted owner’s face.*

Bob: What a great match to lead into our main event… and folks, it is a DOOZY.
Ralph: Inuyasha and Raven Darc’s feud began many months ago…

*The Jumbotron begins to show footage from back in 2007, the night Inuyasha and Raven Darc first met in a match to determine the UCTF Grand Champion… The Dog Demon and Multiple time Intergalactic Champion traded some of their biggest attacks with The Windscar and the Black Hole Nova Blast, but Inuyasha’s dominance was established when he eliminated Raven Darc with the “Adamant Barrage” in the center of the ring!*

Bob: The rivalry was born that night, and would continue through the months!

February 24th 2008

*Lifting Raven back to his feet by his torn, destroyed shirt, Inuyasha drives the champion HEAD FIRST into the steel pole in the corner!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!

Bob: X_X JESUS!!

*Pulling Raven out, he DRIVES him back into the pole, driven with enough force to SNAP the cables holding the ropes together! The entire ring begins to break down around them!*

Bob: D:!!!!

*Bleeding internally from the mouth and nose, Raven is CLEARLY unconscious! But INUYASHA DOESN’T CARE!*

Ref: O_O INUYASHA, THAT’S ENOUGH!
Inuyasha: >=|!!!!!!!!!!

*Inuyasha flies several feet through the air, driving the demon HEAD FIRST into the center of the ring! Raven folds up like a damn accordion! The referee singals for help, as several more come RUSHING to the ring! Before they manage to enter the ring, Inuyasha FLOORS Raven one final time to the face with a BIG TIME boot to the face!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!

*They FINALLY separate Inuyasha from the DESTROYED Raven! The referee in charge FINALLY ringing the bell to end the match!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: o_o. oh my God.

Arzie: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH… AND NEWWWWWWWWWWW UCTF INTERGALACTIC CHAMPION, THE DOG DEMON, INUYASHA!!!

Bob: Amazing, New Intergalactic Champion. And I gotta tell you… I’ve NEVER. EVER seen Raven Darc dominated like he was tonight! I mean… JESUS! You had to know the person to finally come along and end Raven Darc’s title reign would have to be one tough son of a bitch but… …Jesus!

Ralph: Raven Darc’s reign as Intergalactic Champion would end at the hands of the Dog Demon on that night. He swore revenge. Several months later, the two would meet one more time in the finals of the “Only The Strong” tournament…

September 27th 2008
Ultimate Massacre II

Raven: …..
Inuyasha: ADAMANT… BARRAAAAAAGGGGEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Tessaiga fires the MASSIVE shards of Adamant towards Raven Darc, who drives the Silver Talon into the remains of the ring.*

Raven: RRRRRRRRAAARRRGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*A wave of silver energy surrounds Raven, not only blocking the shards of Diamond, but DESTROYING it on contact! The column of surrounding ki extends what seems to be limitlessly! It shoots past the Arena with ease and disappears into the heavens! More and more energy pour into Raven as the demon unleashes a SADISTIC smile on his face! Inuyasha shows, for the very first time in his career.. FEAR. PARALYZING FEAR!*

Inuyasha: …
Raven: …SILVVVVVVVER WAAAAAAAAAAAVVEEEEE!!

*The column is suddenly redirected towards Inuyasha and any poor son of a bitch who’s behind him! Inuyasha attempts to leap out of the way, but it’s useless! He’s engulfed by Raven Darc’s ultimate attack and sent FLYING into the cheap seats!*

Crowd: O____O!!

Bob and Ralph: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!

*Inuyasha hits the balcony of the Arena, INSTANTLY destroying it and creating a crater with his own body! Raven falls to his knees… The Talon is long gone, as well as his full demon mode. He lies there, gasping for breath. Glen Sanchos reappears out of no where, trying to figure out what’s going on.*

Glen: R..R… Raven.. You alright?

*Raven slowly stands back to his feet…*

Raven: e_e… g…g..give me my Strong Man Trophy.

Crowd: *POPS* X_X

Bob: Raven HAS DEFEATED INUYASHA AT ULTIMATE MASSACRE!
Ralph: x_x Jesus.

Referee: RING THE BE–

!!THOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!

Everyone: ……

Raven: …………

Ref: …………

Bob: NO-
Ralph: FUCKING WAY!! SERIOUSLY! NO FUCKING WAY!

*Inuyasha shoves a bolder that used to be part of the Arena off of him, several feet above in the cheap seats, The Dog Demon IS STILL CONSCIOUS!*

Raven: R…R…REF!! O_O RING THE BELL MAN. THAT’S HAD TO BE LONGER THAN TEN SECONDS SINCE HE’S BEEN OUT OF THE RING!

*Glen looks around..*

Glen: uhh.. Raven.. o_o Do you see a ring anywhere?

*THERE IS NONE. Both the ref and Raven are in the middle of a fucking Crater!*

Raven: ARRRGGGGGHHH!!

*Raven goes BERSERK! What the FUCK is it going to take to defeat this son of a bitch from Feudal Japan?! Using his reserves, He re-transforms back into his full demon form. He manifests the Steel Talon, as he’s too weak to re-manifest the Silver. With a GIANT leap, he bounds from the crater that used to be the ring to the crater that used to be the cheap seats! He lands RIGHT on Inuyasha! Driving his Steel Talon towards the Hanyou for the killing strike, Raven’s blow is blocked by Tessaiga, that’s in it’s pure, regular sword form!*

Raven: GIVE IT UP! YOU’VE LOST YOU BASTARD! YOU’VE LOST!
Inuyasha: arrghhh..ARRRRAGGGHH!!

*Tessaiga flares up! Inuyasha tries to push Raven off but he’s driven back into the crater HARD!*

Raven: RRRARRRGGHHH!! NO MORE TRICKS! NO MORE SPECIAL TECHNIQUES! YOU’RE DONE.
Inuyasha: n..n..NEVER!!

*The Tessaiga begins to glow a green hue, as scales of a Dragon slowly begin to cover the blade until it’s completely Engulfed!*

Bob: W..what’s going on?!

*Raven’s dark energy begins to POUR from his body, and into the blade of Tessaiga itself!*

Raven: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
Inuyasha: h..heh… D-Dragon Scaled Tessaiga… I’m taking your own Demonic Energy…. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

*Tessaiga sucks Raven’s demonic energy right out of him to the point that Raven REVERTS out of his Full demon form!*

Raven: ARRRGGHGHHHH I’m going to .. Find out the secret to that damn blade!
Inuyasha: NOT TONIGHT!!

*Inuyasha drives his foot into Raven’s chest before pushing him off into the distance!*

Ralph: YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

Inuyasha: KAZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEE NOOOOO KIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUU

*The Dragon Scale powered Wind Scar catches Raven in mid-air, COMPLETELY obliterating him in the process!*

!!!KAAAAAAAAAAATHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!

Bob: DUCK!!
Ralph: OH FU–

*Raven flies past the Commentators tower before crashing THROUGH the jumbotron!*

Bob: Inuyasha once again defeated Raven Darc and become the #1 contender to the UCTF Grand Championship… However tonight, before he goes on face Kunoi Ishigami for the Grand Championship, he must take on his most loathed enemy once more, for the Intergalactic Championship!
Ralph: Raven Darc has been stewing over his frequent losses to Inuyasha for years now… Tonight, I could see in his eyes, he’s hit Inuyasha with EVERYTHING that he has to regain what he claims is “HIS” championship belt.
Bob: Can they take it to a level even higher than their Ultimate Massacre battle? We’ll find out as Inuyasha will take on Raven Darc NEXT!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen… the following match up is the MAIN EVENT of this evening, and is for the Intergalactic Championship!!!

*”Halo” by Soil kicks up first, creating an instant rumbling throughout the UCTF capacity crowd!*

Arzie: Introducing first… hailing from Hayborn, Scotland… He is the former UCTF Intergalactic Champion.. RAAAVVVEENNNN DARRCCCCC!!!

*The Giant Scotsman walks to the ring with little fanfare, but his eyes show that he is more focused than ever! Once inside the ring, his music subsides, leaving an eerie silence throughout the arena. Tension slowly builds throughout the capacity crowd few a few moments before the horns of “Hanyou” Begins playing. The crowd explodes, as The Dog Demon slowly saunters onto the stage, carrying both the Weaponmaster and Intergalactic Championships on each shoulder.*

Arzie: And his opponent, hailing from the Feudal Era of Japan… He is the simultaneous holder of the Weaponmaster and Intergalactic Championships…. Welcome the Dog Demon… INUUUUYASSSSHAAAA!!!!

Bob: And here comes the champion!
Ralph: He doesn’t look happy, following the beating he received at the hands of Raven Darc last night.
Bob: Indeed.
Ralph: by the way… How are you holding up following that—
Bob: I don’t want to talk about it. e_e My Lawyers are handling it as we speak.

*The Champion makes a slow climb up the stairs, before pacing the apron of the ring. He slowly steps in between the ropes, never taking his eyes off of his opponent.*

Ralph: Both men are inside the ring… make your bets as to how long the actual ring stays intact…

*The belts are soon surrendered, and the referee wisely backs away from the two enemies. Inuyasha takes two steps towards the center of the ring, as well as Raven Darc, until they’re face to face in the center of the squared circle.*

Bob: Here we go! The main event is under-way! Who will leave the arena tonight as the Intergalactic Champion?!

!!DING DING DING!!

UCTF Intergalactic Championship
Raven Darc vs. Inuyasha

*With the match officially under way, the crowd stirs in anticipation as Inuyasha and Raven Darc refuse to make the first move. All that’s happening for the first few moments of the contest are the respective lips moving from both competitors, as the Arena noise drowns out whatever conversation they’re having with each other.*

Ralph: What do you think they’re talking about??
Bob: I don’t know, but whatever it is, I’ll wager that it isn’t very nice.

*A shove from Inuyasha proves Bob’s point, followed by a stinging slap to the face! That’s right. Darc didn’t even respect Inuyasha enough to PUNCH him in the face like a man, instead choosing the option of slapping the taste out of his mouth! The Dog Demon reels from the bitch slap, slowly recoiling in shock!*

Ralph: I don’t like the look in his eye!

*Inuyasha reacts as one would expect, by attempting to shatter Raven’s chin into pieces with a right hand! Raven doesn’t even attempt to block the attack, taking the full brunt of Inuyasha’s strike right on the chin, before blasting the Intergalactic Champion with a right of his own! The crowd pops as a pier six quickly manifests from the two strikes, as now both men are raining down scores of blows upon each other in the center of the ring!*

Bob: It’s begun! The match the fans have been waiting so long to see! Both Half –demons are rocking each other with strikes! Who will buckle from the pain first?!

*The Intergalatic Champion seemingly staggers backwards from a strike, but actually throws himself backwards into the ropes to gain momentum for a haymaker. This proves WAY too obvious, as Raven easily telegraphs the attempt, hitting Inuyasha with a DEEP arm drag that drives him into the mat! However, the Dog Demon is back to his feet damn near faster than Raven Darc, and charges towards the former champion! The accomplished wrestler snatches the Hanyou out of the air with a vicious belly to belly suplex! Inuyasha lands terribly, bouncing off his head and crash landing onto the ropes!*

Ralph: Jesus!

*It’s not enough to keep the bastard down, as he’s damn near instantly back up. Now it’s RAVEN who charges towards his opponent, quickly getting tossed over the top rope and to the floor with a massive back body drop!*

Bob: Raven sent sailing over the top!

*The back body drop sends Darc airborne, but the agile half-demon twists his body quickly in mid-air, landing a perfect ten on the outside of the ring. He doesn’t have time to muse over his athletic ability however, as the second he turns around, his eyes widen at the side of the Intergalactic Champion launching himself over the top rope! Inuyasha’s claws are drawn…*

Inuyasha: Iron Reaver, SOU—

*The Soul Stealer attack is countered by Raven’s “MILLION CHAINS” technique, literally suspending The Dog Demon in midair!*

Bob: Reversal!

*Raven quickly drives Inuyasha face first into the concrete, to a deafening, collective groan from the capacity crowd. After the impressive face plant served to Inuyasha, Raven reels Inuyasha in like a giant bass across the ringside area. The moment the Champion is within arms-reach, Raven locks his arm around Inuyasha’s neck!*

Bob: ENDLESS WALT—NO!

*Inuyasha quickly shifts his center of gravity to block the Endless Waltz, then uses his BRUTE strength to lift Raven right off the ground…*

Ralph: Oh that’s not good!
Bob: I agree! This could be bad news for Raven Darc here!

*Inuyasha charges across the ringside area while carrying Raven Darc over his shoulder like a football tackling dummy. Aiming precisely, Inuyasha RAMS the corner pole of the ring; a direct BULLSEYE on Raven’s wound where his wing once was! At the exact moment, Raven unleashes electricity through his million chains, sending enough voltage through Inuyasha to power a Japanese nuclear facility! Both men nearly black out from the pain, meanwhile, the entire ring SHIFTS a few degrees from the pure force!*

Bob: OH MY GOD!
Ralph: LOL! DID YOU SEE THE STEPS GO FLYING?! DO YOU SEE THE SMOKING COMING OFF OF INUYASHA?! EVEN THE REFEREE IS DOWN FROM THE RING TURNING! THIS IS AWESOME!
Bob: And it’s just starting! What an amazing display by both competitors!

*Both men are back up within seconds, and they resume trading soup bones on the outside of the ring to a massive ovation from the crowd…*

Bob: Neither man backing down an inch!
Ralph: Except Inuyasha’s gaining the upperhand with those heavy handed rights! We’ve learn it’s never a good idea to stand and take punches from the Dog Demon!

*Raven staggers backwards, rocked from several strikes to the face, only to be nailed in the gut with a big kick from the barefooted half-demon! He’s quickly tossed back into the ring, with Inuyasha closely behind him…*

Bob: Inuyasha now in control, he’s stalking his prey!

*Darc slowly rolls to his knees, begging his opponent to show mercy! It’s the oldest trick in the book and Inuyasha falls right for the NUTSHOT! He slowly falls to the canvas while clutching his aching lower extremities, while Raven stands back up, soaking in the jeers from the crowd.*

Bob: Oh Come on! BLATANT low blow there!

*Somewhere in Anime City…*

Bryan: e_e lol. Heel.

*Back in the arena, it is now Raven Darc who’s stalking Inuyasha. Grabbing the half demon by his long silver locks, Raven stuffs Inuyasha’s head between his knees, before lifting him upside down. Darc leaps into the air, hitting his “Downward Spyral” piledriver right in the center of the canvas!*

Bob: HUUUGE piledriver by Raven Darc!

*Wisely, Darc does NOT let up on Inuyasha! Yanking the Hanyou back to his feet, Raven lifts Inuyasha into the same position, before hitting a SECOND Downward Spyral in the center of the ring!*

Bob: THAT’S INCREDIBLE! A SECOND PILEDRIVER! That’s gotta—wait… He’s picking him up AGAIN!?
Ralph: This is Inuyasha, we’re talking about here, Bob.
Bob: Touche… He’s going to make sure Inuyasha stays down this time!

*Raven has Inuyasha upside down once more, and DROPS him with a third leaping piledriver! Inuyasha’s body goes stiff, much like when Ivan “The Urban Action Figure” wiped out on “America’s got Talent” before landing perfectly spread-eagled in the center of the ring! There’s no movement from the champion, but Raven Darc has learned his lesson from the MANY encounters he’s had with Inuyasha. He’s going to the top rope!*

Ralph: Raven looking to put away Inuyasha… Whatever he’s going for on the top rope might do the job!

*The old man dives off the top rope, hitting an impressive senton bomb right across the ribs of Inuyasha! The SECOND he lands from the impact, he rolls over, quickly pinning the Dog Demon!*

Bob: SENTON BOMB! THIS COULD BE IT! HE COVERS!

Ref: 1……

*Inuyasha KICKS OUT AT ONE!*

Everyone: O_O

Ralph: Inuyasha KICKS OUT AT ONE!
Bob: Raven Darc is LIVID! Three Piledrivers and that AMAZING senton from the top and Inuyasha didn’t even have enough respect to kick out at 2.9 seconds!

*Raven slowly stands up from the pin attempt, leaving Inuyasha to quickly crawl to the ropes. As Inuyasha pulls himself to his feet, he mutters soft, inaudible words to Raven Darc…*

Inuyasha: e_e How about we just skip the pleasantries?

*The utter disrespect in the champion’s voice instantly sets off Raven Darc, who’s body EXPLODES with thunderous ki surrounding him! No more game playing, as Raven conjures up his ultimate weapon, his ace card… the Silver Talon!*

!!KRAAAKAATHOOOOOMM!!

*At the exact moment, Inuyasha unsheathes Tessaiga! The blade instantly flares up, and both men rush toward each other!*

Bob: HERE WE G—

*The Commentator’s emphatic words are drowned out by the sound of the colliding ki in the center of the ring. Raven’s black energy and Inuyasha’s demonic energy knock their respective opponents back several steps, giving each competitor room to draw their blades for another attack.*

Inuyasha: KAZE NO KIZU!!
Raven: RRAARRGGHHH!!

*Raven’s Black Lightning Wave meets the Wind Scar, instantly eradicating the ring! The unlucky fans in the first few rows of the Arena are sent packing as blinding light from both attacks fills the arena! Once the enormous dueling kis subside, The Intergalactic Champion and Darc remain standing in the same spot, but now are in a crater of their own creation.*

Ralph: And there goes the ring… again.
Bob: Folks, take note. That wasn’t even their strongest attack!

*The Intergalactic Champion grins at Raven Darc…*

Inuyasha: You’re not nearly as tired as you were the first time you brought out your Silver Talon… I see someone’s been practicing.
Raven: …
Inuyasha: But how many more Kaze no Kizu’s can you handle before you pass out again? I can do ‘em all day, Darc!

*Darc instantly powers up, as Inuyasha lifts Tessaiga over his head one more time!*

Inuyasha: KAZE NO KIZUUUU!!!

*Raven is engulfed by the Windscar, with only his ki to protect him from Inuyasha’s primary attack. He eats the brunt of the blast like a man, while coming up with a strategy of his own…*

Inuyasha: FIGHT BACK! KAAAZEEEE—

*The Dog Demon raises the blade once more, but THIS time, Raven Darc has a surprise waiting for him. Silver Talon’s hilt chain elongates within an instant, driving itself through the concrete that one held the squared circle and back out of the ground, inches behind Inuyasha.*

Inuyasha: WHAT THE—

*The Hilt’s limitless chain wraps completely around Inuyasha, from his feet all the way to his raised arms, wrapping itself around the hilt of Tessaiga! Inuyasha is left defenseless, and wide open for Raven Darc’s next attack.*

Raven: e_e You talk too much. RRAAAAAAGGHHHH!!

*The demon lets out a roaring kiai-shout, sending thousands of volts of electricity through the hilt of Silver Talon into the prone body of Inuyasha! The dog demon screams of agony fill the arena all the way to its brim! Raven leans backwards, winding his blade up like a baseball bat, before unleashing another Black Lightning Wave! Now it is Inuyasha that’s caught head on, and not even the robe of the fire rat can protect the Intergalactic Champion from it!*’

!!KRAAAKKAAATHOOOOMMM!!

Bob: GOOD LORD!
Ralph: INUYASHA’S DOWN!

*Inuyasha lays spread out on the canvas several feet away, barely clutching his blade, but he’s still moving. Raven Darc, who’s now breathing noticeably heavier than before, refuses to allow Inuyasha to get back to his feet!*

Raven: No! NOT THIS TIME YOU BASTARD!

*The monster leaps atleast twenty feet in the air before gravity takes over! Silver Talon is positioned to run right through the Dog Demon and FINALLY put this rivalry to a rest!*

Bob: He’s going to cut right through Inuyasha with that jagged blade!!!

*A SECOND before impact, Inuyasha raises the hilt of Tessaiga, blocking the Silver Talon in mid-air! The crowd lets out a collective exasperated sigh as The Champion monkey flips Raven Darc over his head!*

Ralph: Wow, fast thinking there.
Bob: Inuyasha is a warrior! He has amazing presence of mind at all times!

*The monkey flip may have saved the Dog Demon’s skin, but Raven Darc displays AMAZING agility (for someone of his age) by twisting out of the assault and landing perfectly on his feet. He rushes the Dog Demon who’s has still yet to stand, BLASTING him with Lightning slash that knocks the champion off of the ground!*

Bob: Another stream of electricity sends Inuyasha flying!

*Crashing into the far corner of the ring, Inuyasha fights through the thousands of volts of pain coursing through his body before unleashing a… Smile?*

Bob: Oh no! Even after that assault, Inuyasha is SMILING. That can’t be good news for Raven!

Inuyasha: If that’s all you got old man, then we might as well just go ahead and end this battle right now. ARRRGGHHH!!

*Inuyasha, no longer finding this fight against his biggest rival amusing, finally says it’s OVER. The Tessaiga begins to glow green, while dragon scales begin to grow over the sharp blade!*

Ralph: OH NO!! DRAGON SCALED TESSAIGA!
Bob: Right Ralph! Our champion has unleashed the very move that defeated Raven Darc in their last meeting!

*Raven can FEEL the demonic energy being ripped out of his body. In a final, vain attempt to fight back, Raven throws all of the energy he can muster through the blade and into Inuyasha, who easily absorbs it.*

Bob: Another Lightning Stream proves useless! Not good for the former IG Champion!
Ralph: Nighty Night Raven!

*The champion slowly lifts Tessaiga over his head… His battle energy begins to surge!*

Raven: lol, fuck e_e
Inuyasha: IT’S OVER!! KAZZEEE NOOOOOOOOOOO—-

*The moment Inuyasha brings his blade down to destroy Raven with Dragon Scaled Wind Scar, Inuyasha’s eyes widen as he sees Tessaiga has reverted back to a normal, samurai blade, and even wider when he realizes his hair color has changed to jet black!*

Inuyasha: o_o.. oh… oh no.

*The new moon sits high above the UCTF Arena, stealing away all of the Intergalactic Champions demon energy! What stands now before Raven Darc is a perfectly normal, vulnerable human being!*

Everyone: ………..

Bob: ………
Ralph: What the hell just happened?!
Bob: Inuyasha is a dead man, that’s what.

Raven: …………. hehehehahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*Raven instantly begins to focus ALL of his energy into his next, and obviously final attack against the Inuyasha! Lightning flows down from the heavens as more and more ki is formed into an ultimate attack! The Champion, now acting on pure instinct, rushes towards Raven Darc! No, NOT to attack him, but to run past his opponent and make his way up the ramp! That’s right! He’s borrowing Ranma Saotome’s ultimate attack: THE FAST BREAK! Yes, Titles change in the UCTF via count outs, but Inuyasha doesn’t give a shit! He’s getting the HELL out of dodge and he’s doing it now!*

Bob: INUYASHA’S RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE!
Ralph: Great idea! Live to fight another day! Screw the Intergalactic Championship!

*Just as Inuyasha reaches the top of the ramp, Raven Darc finishes focusing his attack! He turns towards the ring entrance…*

Bob: O_O! OH—
Ralph: SHIT!!!

Raven: SILVER WAAAAVVV—

*The commentators IMMEDIATELY abandon ship once they realize where the attack will be heading! They DIVE as well as Inuyasha just as the entire entrance of the Arena is engulfed with Raven’s full power!*

!!!KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKAAATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!

*The smoke clears, revealing the demolished jumbotron and collapsed commentators tower. The ramp has collapsed leaving the stage barely hanging by a thread.*

Everyone: D:!!

*Grabbing a hold of his headset, Bob slides the hanging device over his head.*

Bob: is..is this thing still on? >=| YES. WE’RE STILL LIVE! Raven Darc just used his Silver Wave, which almost killed Ralph and I. I shudder to think what has happened to Inuyasha, who took the full brunt of that blast!
Ralph: What, you’re still working? I thought it was a rule that whenever our tower gets destroyed, we’re DONE for the night!
Bob: Shoot, Ralph. Inuyasha just got BLOWN UP. It IS the end of the night! What’s another minute and a half?!

*Seeing no other reason to keep this match going, The referee prepares to call for the bell, until the crowd POPS huge! He and Raven Darc slowly turn towards the entrance. Both are dumbfounded to see that SOMEHOW, the very human Inuyasha is pulling himself out of the wreckage!*

Raven: OH COME ON! >=|

Bob: I don’t know how, but this tough son of a bitch, with ZERO powers has just pulled himself out of the debris that used to be the Jumbotron!
Ralph: Which wasn’t a good idea! You should have stayed down, kid! Raven’s marching his way up the ramp!

*Raven bet EVERYTHING into that move, and now he’s just as weakened as Inuyasha. His sword is gone and he’s almost at the point of blacking out! With no ramp, he has to CLIMB up to the stage, proving he learned NOTHING from Star Wars Episode Three! Never attack a man who has the high ground! Inuyasha uses the last of his strength to drop kick Raven right in the face! The weakened demon loses his grip on the stage, falling ten feet onto ground below! Darc screams in TERRIBLE pain, as he lands RIGHT on top of the sharp end of Tessaiga that was perfectly positioned below him!*

Crowd: UGGHHHH!!!

Bob: OH MY GOD! RAVEN HAS LANDED RIGHT ON THAT SAMURAI SWORD!
Ralph: …you gotta be kidding me here… Don’t tell me that…

*Yes, IT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN, Ralph. Despite the incredible differences in power, Inuyasha flings his body off of the stage, allowing gravity to do the rest of the work for him! He lands right on top of Raven, which buries the blade of Tessaiga even DEEPER into his back! The wound where Raven’s wing used to be opens up, blood begins to flood the destroyed ramp area as the referee comes out of NO WHERE.*

Ref: 1……… 2………..

Crowd: THREEE!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

*The crowd pops HUGE as somehow, Raven Darc is miraculously defeated by Inuyasha! The commentary team are too stunned for words!*

Bob and Ralph: ….

Arzie: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH, AND STILL UCTF INTERGALACTIC CHAMPION… INUUUUYASHAAAAA!!!

Winner and STILL UCTF Intergalactic Champion: Inuyasha

Bob: ………
Ralph: So uhh… o_o.. Kunoi’s losing his belt at Cyberslam, huh?
Bob: Pretty much.
Ralph: ….
Bob: ….
Ralph: so, uhh…
Bob: For Ralph Gerrard, this is Bob saying Goodnight.

*Finally, BOTH commentators corpse right on camera!*

Bob: LOLLOLLOL X_X
Ralph: …LOLLOL X_X HOW DID RAVEN LOSE A SURE THING LIKE THAT?!
Bob: I KNOW. IT’S LIKE HE’S IN THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY OR SOMETHING. LOLLOL
Ralph: I mean REALLY!? INUYASHA WAS POW—

End.

Bob: Welcome to another exciting edition of UCTF Massacre! I’m Bob Hinden, alongside the Hentai Commentator, Ralph Gerrard!
Ralph: Titties.
Bob: And we have an exciting event filled with action lined up tonight, including an appearance by UCTF Grand Champion, Kunoi Ishigami!
Ralph: He’ll be facing Bat-Puppies.
Bob: Indeed! As well as— Seriously Ralph. What’s wrong with you? O_o You’re not shouting “PUPPIES” with as much enthusiasm tonight.
Ralph: *sighs* Yeah. Look at who’s already in the ring.
Bob: D: and with a microphone no less!

*The camera quickly cuts to the inside of the squared circle where RIC AUSTIN is already there! How he does this shit, I don’t know!*

Arzie: The following is our opening contest scheduled for one fall! ALREADY INSIDE THE RING—

Ric: CAN IT ALREADY! PEOPLE CAN SEE I’M HERE, OK! >=|

Arzie: …

Ric: Yeah. e_e Last week, I slipped up and lost in a fluke.

Bob: Fluke?! You almost got killed!
Ralph: He’s a wrestler from the 80s… I suspect his head has suffered more than 30 concussions. He’s delusional.

Ric: So tonight they put me in a match against Rosinthorn’s butt buddy! Well you know what?! I’M TIRED OF BEING A CURTAIN JERKER! A STEPPING STONE IN THE UCTF! I swear to you, within six months… *mumbles* iftheresevenashowinsixmonths *yells* I’M GOING TO MAIN EVENT AN EPISODE OF UCTF MASSACRE!

Bob: yeah… must be concussions….

Ric: I’M THE WINNER OF THE TXA TOURNAMENT! I DESERVE RESPECT!

Ralph: why does he keep saying that like it’s an accomplishment.. UCTF got through that tournament with less effort than it takes to breathe. Hell, we KILLED ANOTHER FED just from participating in it!

*After Ric finally finishes digging a hole for himself, an unfamiliar theme song kicks up, bringing down a six foot five warrior with an equally large claymore axe strapped to his back! Ric Austin’s eyes double in width!*

Arzie: And his opponent, hailing from Hellunia, He is known as EBLIS NICKELHEART DRAKARRRR!!!!

Bob: This Newcomer made his appearance in the last episode, helping Rosinthorn complete a heinous act on Lo-Ruhamah in the center of the ring! We haven’t seen nor heard from Lo since the attack!

*Just as Eblis reaches the ring, Ric Austin goes in all or nothing! He throws his fat lard of a body over the top rope, crashing down on the UCTF newbie before the sound of the bell!*

Crowd: *POPS* o_o!

Bob: Ric Austin with a GIANT top con hilo!!!
Ralph: o_o wow, he wasn’t kidding, was he?

!!DING DING DING!!

Ric Austin vs. Eblis Nickelheart Drakar

*Eblis lies on the ground after being caught off guard by Ric Austin, who is now driving hard boots into the face of his opponent!*

Bob: Ric Austin is being more aggressive than I’ve ever seen him tonight! Maybe… Maybe there’s a chance!

Ref: Ric! Get him into the ring or I’m counting you both out!

*Ric lifts Eblis by the hair before throwing the newcomer into the ring… He follows his opponent by sliding under the top rope. Just as Eblis climbs back to his feet, Ric explodes across the ring with a lariat! Unfortunately for him, Eblis seems to VANISH out of thin air!*

Ric: What the—

!!BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMM!!

*Drakar reappears to the left of Austin, driving a STIFF punch into the mid-section with enough force to lift the jobber OFF HIS FEET! Drakar quickly switches stance and drives the hilt of his claymore into the back of The Enhancer’s head!*

Crowd: *SHYS AWAY*

Ralph: What were you saying, Bob?
Bob: I’ll admit, Ric had me fooled for a second! What a shot to the head!

*These two strikes quickly change Austin’s tune!*

Austin: X_X HELP! *COUGHS* HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP!

*The Enhancer surprises everyone by standing up, and stumbles towards the exit of the ring! He’s already had enough! However, Drakar isn’t quite finished with him! Moving in a bright flash for a second time, Eblis reappears in front of Ric, smashing the hilt of the Claymore RIGHT BETWEEN his eyes!*

Crowd: OOOOH!!

Ralph: GOOD GOD!
Bob: That strike was INSANE. Ric Austin has to be knocked out!
Ralph: and his nose in splinters!

*Who knows if it’s instinct or just stupidity, but Ric Austin is starting to stand up AGAIN! By now the fans are begging him to stay down, but it’s too late for The Enhancer! Eblis lets out a primal scream before leaping high above the ring! He turns in midair, before spiraling back down towards his opponent!*

Bob: This cannot end well for Ric Austin!

Eblis: AAAHHHH!!!

!!KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!

*The sound of Drakar’s boot impacting on Ric’s face sounds like a cannon, as Ric is driven face first into the canvas! Ric bounces off of his skull before sliding across the ring, leaving an imprint in the center of the ring!*

Bob: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY SOMEONE CALL 911!!!
Ralph: Holy shit o_o

Ref: THAT’S ENOUGH! THAT’S ENOUGH! RING THE BELL!

*FINALLY!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Ralph: Well… wow. There goes Ric Austin’s ascent to the top. It’s stopped by the newbie, Eblis.
Bob: Seriously guys. Somebody get out there and see if he’s ok…

Winner: Eblis

*EMTs arrive to help, while Arzie maliciously steps over his body to announce the next match up… *

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for ONE fall!

Ric: y.. you’re not even going to wait until I get carted away?

Arzie: NO. >=|

*”Eclipsed” by Evan’s Blue starts up, bringing down The Russian…*

Arzie: Introducing first… making his way down the aisle… he is the man simply known assss… DIIIMIIITRIIII!!!

Bob: Dimitri is coming off of his intense match up with Lo-Ruhamah, which was followed by an unwarranted attack by the hands of the new UCTF blood.
Ralph: I hope they’re watching their backs. Dimitri isn’t the type to let something like that go without a response.

Arzie: And his opponent…

*”Eternal Gravestones” starts playing next, and out walks the mage, Blu De’Ragnarok*

Arzie: Hailing from Aht Urhgan… He is the currently undefeated Mage of the UCTF… welcome… BLUUUU DE-RAGGGNARROKKK!!!

*The crowd pops for the Mage as he slips into the ring! Tonight may be his biggest test as he takes on Dimitri in singles competition!*

Bob: Blu has a win over Austin and defeated the “legendary” demon Xamot on the last episode of Massacre.
Ralph: Tonight is his real test… Get through the man who has defeated everyone there is to beat in the UCTF!

!!DING DING DING!!

Blu De’Ragnarok vs. Dimitri

*With the match under way, Blu doesn’t waste any time! Armed with Tizona, Blu comes at Dimitri with everything he’s got!*

Ralph: We really need to do something about fighters using weapons outside of weapon master matches.
Bob: Hey, we’ve gone almost 12 years without rules, what would be the point of adding them now?

*Dimitri uses his speed and agility to evade Tizona’s unforgiving blade, and makes Blu pay with a quick uppercut to the chin for rushing into combat without using his head! Blu staggers backwards as Dimitri opens up a quick, three strike combination that ends with a flying kick to the face! The jump kick brings Blu to the canvas almost instantly!*

Blu: ugh..

*Standing over his downed opponent, Dimitri lifts his leg into the air before driving it down to the mat like an axe! Blu rolls out of the way just in time to keep from having his ribcage crushed! He has Dimitri off balance, sweeping the militant off of his feet with the broad end of Tizona.*

Bob: quick back and forth action here…

 *Blu brings Tizona down for the ending slash, only for Dimitri to WISELY roll out of the ring and to the floor.*

Ralph: whew!
Bob: Dimitri got out of there quick!! That would have been the end of him right there!
Ralph: They REALLY need to do something about sword play outside of weaponmaster matches!

*While Dimitri recuperates on the outside, Blu gets a little too close to the edge of the ring. Dimitri grabs a leg and sends the Blue Mage backwards to the canvas!*

Bob: Rookie Mistake by De’Ragnarok!

*Dimitri quickly slides back into the ring, kicking Tizona to the outside! Brilliant strategy by the military tactician… Dimitri didn’t seem to notice that Blu has a SECOND weapon, The Beast Slayer! The Russian turns around to see Blu now wielding his second sword, and his eyes widen in fear!*

Dimitri: …lovely.

*Blu swings the blade with added fire energy! The sword slash physically misses Dimitri, but the flaming flash of energy directly behind it catches him right in the chest! The blast staggers him as Blu spins around, ramming the hilt of the blade directly into his sternum! Dimitri’s body folds as he crashes into the corner!*

Ralph: Even bigger rookie mistake by Dimitri! Never turn your back on anyone, especially a Mage!

*Blu’s opponent pops back up rather quickly, he goes for his signature grapple technique but is stopped by a big boot from the Blue Mage! Dimitri crumbles from the near low blow, only to be struck in the back of the neck from the hilt of the beast slayer! He falls flat on his face seconds before Blu lands on his back with a big knee!*

Bob: Dimitri being man handled here!
Ralph: Indeed. And Blu has thus far used very minimal magic! The last thing you want to do is feed Dimitri any of your abilities for him to use against you.

*The two men wrestle on the ground in order to gain an upperhand. Dimitri’s military training gives him the advantage as he rolls, putting Blu on his face and locking on a hold from behind.*

Bob: Dimitri has Blu now!
Ralph: Blu better do something, because I think  Dimitri’s going for those.. YEP! He is!

*Dimitri unearths handcuffs from no where! He locks one around Blu’s wrist before the Blu Mage manages to shove him off!*

Ralph: Blu wisely avoiding having his hands cuffed together! That would have been bad news!

*Blu rushes the downed Dimitri, only to have his knee KICKED violently! His leg flies underneath him, sending Blu into the waiting arms of Dimitri who quickly locks the second cuff!*

Bob: OH NO!

*Dimitri stands up, a sadistic grin slowly builds on his face as Blu struggles to pull himself back to his feet…*

Ralph: This won’t end well for the Mage.

*Tossing the Beast Slayer blade out of the ring, Dimitri slowly stalks Blu who has backed himself into the corner. The Russian cracks his knuckles as the grin has turned into a full smile. He’s about to have the time of his life, that is, until he’s KICKED in the face!*

Bob: Desperation kick by Blu! Now you’ve gotta get outta there kid! Use some kinda spell to get out of those cuffs!

*He doesn’t have enough time, as Dimitri is back to his feet and now ANGRY! He lets the poor newbie have it in the corner with a long string of strikes and kicks that go unopposed! Blu slinks downward into a sitting position, allowing Dimitri to NAIL him in the face with a paralyzing kick!*

Bob: Ok, the referee might have to step in here!

*Dimitri charges in for another devastating strike, but Blu has a waiting present for him!*

Blu: Actinic Burst!!

!!FLOOOOM!!

*The magic spell connects the unsuspecting Dimitri, who staggers backwards. Dimitri notices no effects, and returns to his attack! However, NOTHING hits! Blu begins to dodge all of his strike attempts with ease, as he has lowered Dimitri’s attack accuracy!*

Bob and Ralph: …

*Dimitri misses a wild haymaker! He spins from the whiff, and gets punished with a giant kick to the ass! Dimitri flies into the corner, shoulder first into the turnbuckle!*

Crowd: OOOOH!!

Bob: Blu uses a perfect magical attack!

*He breaks free of his confines, and summons another magic tech!*

Blu: NEFARIAN BLASTER!!

!!FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*The blast shoots across the ring, connecting with Dimitri! It INSTANTLY paralyzes the Russian on contact!*

Ralph: Another magical attack connects!! Blu better be careful! He’s been VERY lucky that Dimitri hasn’t aborbed these thus far!
Bob: Damn right! He has a chance to finish this right here, right now!

*Now in control, Blu casts his “Azure Lore” technique, which boosts his accuracy, damage, potency and duration of all of his spells! He’s powering up for one final strike on Dimitri, and causing what would be a HUGE upset victory tonight!*

Bob: Dimitri is helpless in the ring!
Ralph: and Blu is grabbing his blade! He’s going to end this! Referee! Get in there and stop the match!

*Still paralyzed, Dimitri can only watch in fear as Blu has retrieved his weapon, and is now charging him at full speed!*

Blu: AAAHHHH!!!

*Seconds before the blade strike connects, Dimitri flashes an evil grin, before catching Blu out of his attack by the THROAT!*

Blu: O_O!!
Dimitri: e_e nice paralysis technique… doesn’t take nearly as much energy as mine does. I’ll have to use it sometime.

*Dimitri has not only snapped out of the Nefarian Blaster, but he’s absorbed the technique! Using an incredible amount of focus, Dimitri then performs his “Soul Drain” technique! Every bit of Blu’s energy is absorbed via Dimitri’s Psi-Vampirism! Within seconds, Blu is rendered completely unconscious. Dimitri tosses him aside before falling to his knees, gasping for air heavily!*

 Everyone: o_o..

Ref: …ring it.

!!DING DING DING!!

Ralph: Holy CRAP!
Bob: That’s it… one TINY mistake by Blu and Dimitri manages to turn the tables and win the match. That was one hell of a contest! Blu was within INCHES of putting Dimitri away!
Ralph: for good.

Winner: Dimitri

*With Evans Blue playing, Dimitri slowly walks to the backstage area.*

Bob: Blu’s win streak ends here tonight at the hands of Dimitri, but what a match!

*As EMTs rush to the aid of Blu, the video crew switches the scene to a match between Dimitri, The Russian, vs. Lo-Ruhamah, the Occult asshole…*

Bob: Neither man is backing down here! This could be the makings of a CLASSIC con—WHAT THE HELL?!

*Two figures enter the ring and blindside BOTH Ruhamah and Dimitri with a powerful set of clotheslines that send the weary warriors to the canvas!*

Ralph: Is that… that new guy?
Bob: YES! It’s Rosinthorn! What in the HELL is he doing out here, and who is that with him?!

*The Referee attempts to keep the new competitor in the UCTF at bay along with his partner, but he is sent over the top rope for his troubles! Rosinthorn drops a jagged shard of metal in the center of the ring…*

Ralph: There goes the ref… and what the hell did he just drop?
Bob: I don’t… I have no idea WHAT is going on right now.

*Now directing traffic, Rosinthorn instructs his partner to lift the prone Lo-Ruhamah back to his feet*

Bob: Rosinthorn, for whatever reason is taking it to Ruhamah!

*He abides, before hitting the ropes and LEVELING Ruhamah with a running elbow to the back of the head! The Unloved one falls forward into the arms of Rosinthorn, who quickly delivers the Jumping Emerald Flowsion in the center of the ring! While this happens, his nameless partner slowly points to the entrance of the Arena…*

Bob: FALL FROM GRACE by Rosinthorn!! Good Lord what a move!
Ralph: Uhh… Bob, check the entrance.
Bob: LDFKAJDSL;FJ WHAT THE HELL?!

*Four beings, dressed from head to toe in black, roll a casket made purely from iron down the aisle… it is becoming increasingly clear that Rosinthorn has had this attacked planned for a VERY long time! Once the Casket makes it’s rest at the edge of the ring, the unnamed individuals slowly open the structure. The unconscious Lo-Ruhamah is easily punted out of the ring and into the casket! The doors are closed as Rosinthorn and his partner stand on top of the structure, their arms in the air in front of a hushed silence of the UCTF Capacity Crowd!*

Ralph: Um… not that he doesn’t deserve regular beatings like this… WHY!?

*More officials rush down to the ring to FINALLY separate the men from Ruhamah, meanwhile, more officials check on Dimitri…*

Bob: I have no idea Ralph! Not a clue! But you can bet your bottom damn dollar that they will have hell to pay.

*Present*

Arzie: The Following match is scheduled for one fall…

*The lights in the arena instantly go black, as “Forever Torment” kicks up over the sound system!*

Bob: That music can only mean one thing…
Ralph: Yeah..

Arzie: Introducing first, hailing from the bamboo forests of Japan, he is the legendary demon known as XAAAAMOTTTTT!!!

*Xamot slowly makes his way down the aisle, looking even more annoyed as usual as he’s just come off of a loss to Blu De’Ragnorok in the last edition of UCTF Massacre. He climbs into the ring and folds his arms, keeping his back to the arena’s entrance in an ultimate sign of disrespect for his opponent!*

Arzie: And his opponent…

*”Super Villain” by Powerman 5000 kicks up, bringing down the man who DESTROYED Lo-Ruhamah  in the last episode!*

Arzie: Hailing from the Laboratories of the Negaverse… He is known simply as ROSINTHORRRNNN!!

Ralph: This guy has been talking a lot of shit throughout Anime City since his arrival.
Bob: Well so far, he’s taken out Ric Austin and Lo-Ruhamah.
Ralph: Everybody takes out Ric Austin. YOU could take out Ric Austin, and he attacked Lo when he was already exhausted in his match against Dimitri. Let’s see if he can beat Xamot… even though Xamot hasn’t been doing that well in matches, lately. =\

*Rosinthorn slowly climbs into the ring. Xamot slowly turns around to face his opponent, and both self-proclaimed Super Villains stare each other down with an equal amount of contempt in their eyes. This match up is about to begin… NOW!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Rosinthorn vs. Xamot

*Discarding his characteristic sadism, Xamot quickly rushes towards the surprised Rosinthorn with a murderous intent in his eyes! He misses, as Rosinthorn quickly reads Xamot’s movements, avoiding the strike almost instantly. Flowing past Xamot in a blur, Rosinthorn reappears behind his enemy, punishing the whiff with a stiff kick to the back! The demon is sent tumbling to the ground for less than a second as he rolls quickly back to his feet.

Bob: Xamot rushed in and the rookie made him pay for it!
Ralph: *facepalm* He’s going to lose another match, isn’t he? Worst. Demon. Ever!

*Embarrassed, Xamot’s aura of evil energy begins to manifest around him… Rosinthorn, sensing the danger turns tail and begins to flee the ring! Xamot gives chase, playing right into the hands of the Villain from the Negaverse! Rosinthorn leaps, plastering his enemy in the jaw with a roundhouse kick which sends Xamot flying across the ring!*

Bob: Oh! Christ!
Ralph: and it’s going to be a humiliating loss. Wow.

*Now assuming the offensive role, Rosinthorn reaches into his coat, revealing a MASSIVE gun that has to be occupying the same pocket-verse where Akane Tendo’s hammers reside!*

Everyone: O_O OH SH—

Ralph: THAT’S ONE BIG FUC—

!!KAATHOOOOM!!

*The firearm begins to spray laser fire towards Xamot, who quickly transforms into his full demon mode and leaps high into the open air arena to dodge the attack! Fans from the first row of seating all the way to the nose bleed dive out of the way of instant death as Xamot speeds past them! The demon responds by sending a frenzy of shark-shaped ki blasts toward the squared circle! The blasts from the gun meet the feeding frenzy, causing several dozen explosions to fill the arena! Smoke billows from the remnants of the ki blast volley, leaving a shroud over the ring…*

Ralph: Can’t really see what’s going on here!
Bob: This could be a tactical advantage by Xamot! He has the high ground!

Rosinthorn: … THERE!

*Rosinthorn quickly spins around to blast Xamot, but it’s too late! By the time Rosinthorn is facing his opponent, the wily demon NAILS him directly in the sternum with his Shadow Charge! The shoulder block sends the 6’7” Negaverse Warrior THROUGH the ropes, out of the ring, and embeds him into the barrier on the outside!*

Ralph: DAMN!
Bob: What a shoulder block by Xamot!
Ralph: Rosinthorn was just a little too slow on that exchange, and he may have paid for it with a broken back!

*Xamot grins, letting that sadistic streak finally show itself, as he places his palms together in front of him. This is not good for both Rosinthorn AND the fans behind him, who have wisely begun to run out of the way!*

Bob: Xamot’s looking to finish!

Xamot: MAKO STRIKE!!

*He unleashes Dre Alexander’s signature shark made-o-ki directly towards Rosinthorn! Rosinthorn quickly acts! He uses an invisible telekinetic blast to keep the Mako Strike from connecting! It is a mere inch away from him!*

Ralph: What the–!!?

!!KATHOOOOM!!

*Rosinthorn teleports himself to safety in the cheap seats just as the blast hits the crowd. He looks down onto his opponent with an even bigger sadistic grin on his face, as if to let Xamot know he’s still one step ahead of him.*

Bob: We can add teleportation and telekinetics to Rosinthorn’s ever growing list of abilities.
Ralph: Xamot’s going to have to come up with a better game plan if he plans on defeating a guy he can’t touch. Oh yeah, and WHO CAN TELEPORT!

*Xamot, in his ever growing frustration, chucks a fireball high into the stands towards Rosinthorn, who teleports out of the way. He reappears behind Xamot, who turns right into a massive roundhouse kick to the face! This one sends the demon flipping inside out from the impact! Before he hits the ground, Rosinthorn teleports into the path of his flight, juggling the demon with another SICKENING kick to the mid-section! As Xamot’s body falls towards the earth, Rosinthorn catches him mid-air, before hitting his “FALL FROM GRACE” driver in the center of the ring!*

Ralph: JUMPING EMERALD FLOWSION!
Bob: That’s gotta be it!

*It COULD be the end, however, Rosinthorn doesn’t cover, instead, preferring the ten count, knock out victory over the one who claims to be the “Legendary Demon of the Bamboo Forests!” It is a testament to the vain disposition of the Negaverse Villain!*

Ralph: This idiot isn’t covering?!
Bob: You said it yourself Ralph… He wants this to be a humiliating defeat!

*However, Rosinthorn’s plan does not work. Xamot is pulling himself back to his feet after a vicious slam directly on the top of his skull! Rosinthorn’s grin fades as he teleports again! He reappears behind Xamot, cocked back for another kick to the face, but Xamot BLOCKS the strike before quickly goozling the rookie around the throat!*

Rosinthorn: O_O
Xamot: >=)

*In less than a second, both men are several stories above the ring as Xamot riddles with close ranged ki strikes. His grip around Rosinthorn’s neck tightens with every moment that passes!*

Bob: Went to the well once too many times!

*A blur of dark energy spirals to the ground in a death spin, ending with a quaking noise filling the arena from the impact of Rosinthorn’s body colliding with, and penetrating, the middle of the ring! The squared circle implodes, bringing the entire structure down!*

Ralph: HOLY—HOLY SHIT O_O
Bob: That… had to be the biggest Demon Slam I’ve ever seen in my LIFE! He just destroyed a UCTF ring with it!

Ref: o_o… ring the b—

!!BLAOWW!!

*Xamot is assaulted from behind by the broadside of a claymore axe, knocking him right out of his full demon mode and to the ruins of the ring!*

Bob: EBLIS DRAKAR!
Ralph: this asshole again.
Bob: Eblis has come to the rescue of his partner and is unleashing a beating of epic proportions onto Xamot! Jesus!
Ralph: Last week they laid Lo-Ruh—OH SHIT LO O_O

*Ruhamah appears out of nowhere, riding on the top of the very casket he was stuffed into like a damn surfboard! The object slams Eblis right in the face, sending the 6’5 warrior into oblivion! Lo immediately turns his attention to Rosinthorn, who has managed to pull himself out of the hole in the ring, and right into his waiting arms!*

Lo: >=|!! AHHH!!

*DOUBLE ARM DDT on the concrete is delivered to Rosinthorn by the Unloved one, right before he rolls Xamot on top of him!*

Ref: …….o_o *shrugs* 1….. 2……. 3!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: AND IT’S OVER! Rosinthorn is defeated by Xamot in his second Career match!
Ralph: Chickens coming home to roo—OH CRAP BEHIND YOU!

Winner: Xamot

*Eblis levels Lo-Ruhamah from behind with the Iron casket! It leaves a damn DENT in the thing!*

Ralph: GOOD GOD!
Bob: SOMEBODY CALL 911!! What a shot to the back of the head!!

*Rosinthorn, slowly recovers, but as soon as he does, he joins his partner in laying the boots to Ruhamah for the second time!*

Bob: Lo being double teamed! Xamot too incapacitated to help!
Ralph: I’m not sure he’d help even if he was 100% healthy.
Bob: …touché.

*The beating continues for a few more moments until DIMITRI slowly saunters onto the stage!*

Ralph: Bobby, look!
Bob: Here comes Dimitri, fresh off of his victory just a few moments ago himself!

*Still surging with some left over energy from his match against Blu De’Ragnorok, the Russian slowly makes his way down the aisle. Eblis and Rosinthorn turn their attentions to him.*

Dimitri: Well, let’s see how that Blue Mage’s powers work out. Shall we?

*Eblis and Rosinthorn charge up the ramp, as Dimitri fires Blu’s very own “Nefarian Blaster” technique! It connects with Rosinthorn and Drakar, instantly rendering them paralyzed!*

Dimitri: Excellent.

*Dimitri brandishes a police baton as his pace quickens!*

Bob: Oh… Oh this is not going to be good!
Ralph: Pay back is a –

!!!WHOOMP!!!

*Dimitri goes to work on Eblis with the police baton, meanwhile, Lo-Ruhamah is back to his feet, and he quickly takes over the prone body of Rosinthorn, locking on his mystical submission maneuver, “Surrender Your Soul!” The arena fills with the agonizing screams from Rosinthorn as several officials FINALLY arrive on the scene to break apart the melee!*

Bob: Wow, this place is flooding with referees and officials trying to break this up!
Ralph: Lo’s a mess. He’s bleeding from all over the place! Seriously! Get 911 out here quickly!

*Bob stares off into space for a split second, before a wild expression forms on his face.*

Bob: Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m being told that the Next Episode’s main event has been revealed, and it is a DOOZY.
Ralph: What?! How come I’m not hearing the same thing in my microphone?
Bob: Next week’s main event will be for the UCTF Intergalactic Championship, and will pit the champion, Inuyasha, against RAVEN DARC!

Crowd: *POPS*

Ralph: whoa.
Bob: indeed! The final Broadcast before Cyberslam 2010 will have these two rivals duking it out for the Second biggest prize in the UCTF!
Ralph: I can’t wait!
Bob: In the meantime, we better get to a commercial break. Looks like the ring crew and EMTs are going to need a little time to get the ringside area cleaned up.
Ralph: uhh… Bob? Commercials? All of our sponsors left us years ago.
Bob: e_e… How about a classic commercial, then?

*A commercial starts where Burter is walking out of a UCTF office… a guy comes up and asks for an autograph… Burter says sure and signs it.. whenever he starts to walk away, the guy pulls out a Burter action figure to sign.. Burter laughs a little then signs it too…*

Do do do dooo, do doo, do waaaah!
It doesn’t matter what comes, fresh goes better in life,
With Mentos fresh and full of Life!

*As he’s walking away, the guy runs in front of him and opens up his coat, begging and pleading with Burter to sign his shirt. By now, Burter’s getting frustrated and angry.. but he signs it anyway.*

Nothing gets to you, stayin fresh, stayin cool,
With Mentos fresh and full of LIFE!!!

*The Guy runs up to him, and pulls up his shirt.. he wants Burter to sign his bare chest! By now, Burter is getting pissed.. but digs down deep into his soul and signs the guys chest. He tries to walk away, but the guy runs in front of him and pulls down his pants, showing the crack of his ass! Burter Snaps, turns the guy around and BURTER BOMBS HIM!*

Burter: >:|……

Fresh goes better! Mentos freshness!
Fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life!

*A bunch of cops and the guys family starts screaming and stuff.. Burter goes into his pocket and holds out a full pack of Mentos!*

Everyone: o_o……. ^_^!!!!!!!!!
Burter: ^_^

Mentos! The Freshmaker!

*Fades out…….*

*We return from our break. Magically, a new ring has been built, and Arzie is in the center of it with the microphone.*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is our main event contest for this evening!

*Story of the Year’s “We Don’t Care Anymore,” brings out the first challenger in tonight’s main event; The tag team partner of the #1 contender to the UCTF Grand Championship at Cyberslam!*

Arzie: Introducing first, hailing from Gotham City… She is one half of the UCTF’s Tag Team Champions… She is none other than BAT-GIRL!!!

Bob: Our #1 contender defeated Bat-Girl in a nail biter in the first round of the “Only the Strong” tournament!
Ralph: Yes sir. Bat-puppies here could very well have been one of our “#1 contenders” if it weren’t for an unfortunate twist of fate at the end of her match-up with X-23.
Bob: It was a very thrilling first round indeed.

*The cheering instantly converts to foundation shaking jeers when “Water Pow” by B-Dash begins playing over the sound system!*

Arzie: And her opponent… He hails from Sapporo City in Hokkaido, Japan… He is THE Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting league’s PLATINUM GRANNNNDDD CHAMPION!!!

Bob: Ok Arzie! We get the damn point!

*Kunoi hears Bob’s complaint just as he walks past the commentator tower!*

Kunoi: e_e…
Bob: e_e…

Arzie: -KUNOIIIII ISHIGAMIIIII!!!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

*The champ ignores the salty response from the crowd as he climbs into the ring. Planning on making an example out of the tag team champion tonight, he attempts to intimidate the female caped crusader by never taking his eyes off of her!*

Ralph: Kunoi looks prepared!
Bob: Yeah, well let’s see how he fares in this contest after not having a match with suitable competition in months!
Ralph: you mad at him or something?
Bob: what? e_e

!!DING DING DING!!

Kunoi Ishigami vs. Bat-Girl

*With the main event under-way, our Grand Champion quickly lunges in to take down the caped crusader, who manages to avoid the aggressive shooto veteran’s advances with a quick backward handspring.*

Bob: Kunoi’s misses the take down early as Bat-Girl EASILY avoids him! What elegance and grace displayed by the tag team champion!
Ralph: O_o

*The fighters circle each other in the center of the ring. They size each other up briefly before Kunoi quickly darts towards Bat-Girl, once more. This time, the Grand Champion’s speed greatly increases! He double legs Cassandra Cain, lifting the light-weight crime fighter quite easily, and slamming her viciously onto the canvas!*

Ralph: Kunoi scores the takedown!

*Once Bat-Girl is taken down, Kunoi doesn’t even have enough time to lock in the mount. Bat-Girl slips away, and rolls to her feet. Kunoi, now on his knees; can only watch in horror as Bat-Girl punishes him for his slowness. She delivers an EPIC palm strike across the chest! The echoing sound of flesh meeting leather throughout the arena causes the patrons to shiver, feeling sympathy for The Champion as pain quakes throughout his entire being from the strike!*

Ralph: Oh! Jesus!
Bob: Yeah, he took her down, but she’s back up! This ain’t the MMA, Kunoi!!
Ralph: o_o Bob!

*The blow sends Kunoi reeling backwards! As his body snaps back from the inertia, Bat-Girl already has her leg swinging around for a decapitating kick. Unfortunately for her, Kunoi catches her foot mid strike! His face has a mixture of angry and a sadistic smirk, as he slowly raises to his feet, holding her leg tightly in his arms.*

Ralph: This isn’t good for Ba—

*Bat-Girl, thinking quickly, uses her free foot to leap into the air, striking Kunoi on his chin with a back flipping kick! The move causes Kunoi to lose grip as he’s sent flying into the ropes! Bat-girl lands the flip perfectly in a three point stance.*

Bob: NOT GOOD FOR WHOM, RALPH?! Bat-Girl still in control!
Ralph: uhh… yeah.

*Kunoi, holding his sore jaw quickly checks for blood, before looking back at his opponent with an ever growing look of frustration! He charges, only to have Cassandra duck under his lariat before punishing him again with another sickening open palm strike! Kunoi shrugs off the strike like a man, before firing back with a palm strike of his own! TOO SLOW! Bat-Girl parries away the arm, followed by an elbow to the jaw that rocks the Grand Champion!*

Bob: SHE’S GIVING IT TO KUNOI!!

*The elbow leaving the champion momentarily stunned allows Bat-Girl to open up an array of strikes through-out the champion’s entire torso! Kunoi FINALLY shoves Bat-Girl away, sending her rolling all the way to the opposing side of the ring! She rolls through, using Kunoi’s momentum to pop back to her feet quickly! The champ charges again, hoping that his opponent is off guard following the massive shove! SHE AIN’T! Bat-Girl quickly drops, hitting a lightning fast low drop kick that knocks Kunoi’s knee right from under him! Ishigami, moving already at a high rate of speed loses control as he flies right through the ropes and to the floor below!*

Ralph: Kunoi sent out of the ring!
Bob: Indeed! Right now he’s being outclassed both mentally and physically by the Tag Team Champion!

*The Destroyer is getting MORE pissed than before! Slamming his fists on the concrete, he leaps back to his feet, scrambling to get back into the ring! The second he plants just ONE knee on the apron, he’s ROCKED with a bat-a-rang right across the face!*

Bob: *LAUGHING* BAT-A-RANG outta no where!

*He rolls backwards from catching the flying metal object across the nose! Instantly, his eyes begin to water profusely! He can barely see, which is not good news for him! Bat-Girl leaps from the MIDDLE of the ring! Using her cape as a glider, she flies high over the top rope, before landing on Kunoi’s shoulders! She quickly throws her body weight back, hitting a NASTY hurricanrana on the floor to the Champion!*

Bob: HURRICANRANAAAA!!!
Ralph: …
Bob: What a series of blows that our Tag Team Champion has given to Kunoi Ishigami! She might be fast tracked on the way to a HUGE UCTF upset!!

*Thrown back into the ring, Kunoi Ishigami is running out of options and FAST. In a situation where your opponent can read your every move, and beat you to every punch, you must do what every good villain does in your situation. CHEAT! The champion shoves the referee into the path of Cassandra Cain, and as she predictively avoids the flying official, Kunoi grabs two handfuls of bat-mask and TWISTS it 180 degrees!*

Everyone: D:!!

Bob: OH THAT CHEATING SON OF A—

*Now blinded, Bat-Girl falls prey to a wicked jumping knee strike to the side of the head! She crumbles from the impact, landing in the corner in a sitting position. The fans are about to riot from the cowardly act displayed by the Grand Champion!*

Bob: WHAT A YELLOW TAILED PIECE OF CRAP!
Ralph: You have to admit it was a smart move.
Bob: NO SCREW THAT! WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT! >=|!
Ralph: seriously o_o calm down!

*More bad news for Bat-Girl, as she’s a sitting duck for Kunoi’s sadistic boot scrapes in the corner!*

Ralph: Kunoi’s taking advantage, and the last thing you want is to be hit with ANY of his strikes! Bat-girl needs to figure something out right now!

*Kunoi hits the ropes, charging towards his opponent like a locomotive!*

!!CRACK!!

*The running boot scrape hits, sending Bat-girl face first out of the ring! Her body rests over the rope like Rampage Jackson following a Wanderlei Silva knee!*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Kunoi: *FLIPS EVERYONE OFF* e_e

Bob: DSLFKAJSDLFASI
Ralph: seriously, you’re going to have a heart attack o_o
Bob: HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR ANYONE!
Ralph: yeah, O_o he’s been that way for years. What do you expect?
Bob: e_e.. I .. I’m just getting tired of it.

*The champion pulls the almost lifeless body of Cassandra Cain back into the ring by her cape, before quickly snapping on a full nelson! He doesn’t think twice before chucking Bat-Girl violently backwards into a Dragon Suplex! The tag team champion bounces off of her neck, ROLL on her head and lands face first on the canvas! It is a devastating plex! Kunoi, showing a complete lack of respect doesn’t even go for the cover! Instead, he shouts into the crowd!*

Kunoi: e_e WHY DO THEY NEED A FEMALE BAT-PERSON IN GOTHAM ANYWAY?!  AND WHY DOES BATMAN NEED A KID SIDEKICK? HOW COME NO ONE IS GOING TO CALL HIM OUT FOR WHAT HE IS? A PEDAPHILIAC PIMP E_E

Everyone: BOOOOO!!!

*Elsewhere, in Gotham City…*

Bruce: e_e……….

*Back inside the ring, The Grand Champion casually walks over to his opponent. Slowly lifting her by her cowl, the overtly confident Kunoi leaves himself wide open for a STIFF strike to the mid-section!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

*Bat-Girl doesn’t let up, unleashing a flurry of martial arts strikes about Kunoi’s entire body!*

Bob: THAT’S RIGHT BAT-GIRL! KICK HIS ASS!

*Kunoi bounces off the ropes, as Cassandra rolls forward into a handstand and locks her legs around his throat!*

Kunoi: >_< GACK!!

*Cassandra pulls herself onto Kunoi’s shoulders!*

Bob: HANDSTAND FRANKEN—

*Ishigami however, reverses the flow, NAILING a powerbomb in the center of the ring!*

Ralph:  HUGE POWERBOMB BY KUNOI!
Bob: NO!! DAMMIT!!
Ralph: Just as Bat-Girl was regaining a little momentum, Kunoi quickly ends it with a well placed powerbomb!

*The bomb is so powerful, that Bat-Girl bounces into a sitting position! Not a good place to be, as Kunoi continues his work on the neck, attempting to lock on his “Ishigami Sleeper!”*

Ralph: Kunoi trying to get that l—

*Bat-Girl however slips away quickly, while pulling The Grand Champion’s leg out from under him! As she rolls to her knee, Kunoi pops back to his feet, angrily charging the tag team champ, only to find a BATTERANG crashing into his skull as a result!*

Crowd: OOOOHHH!!

Bob: Kunoi hit point blank range with that weapon! He’s damn near out on his feet!

*Bat-Girl springs off of Kunoi’s doubled over body, landing perfectly on the top rope!*

Bob: She’s going nor—

*But Kunoi reacts, kicking her leg right from under her! Bat-Girl collapses crotch first on the top rope!*

Crowd: X_X!! OOOHHH!

Ralph: But Kunoi shows again why he’s the Grand Champion with an AWESOME move like that

*He hits a leaping, spinning, palm-strike to Bat-Girl in the corner, before turning his back to her while grabbing her under her arms. That’s right! He’s about to go 2002 on everyone’s asses with the IconoClasm!*

Bob: This could be it for Bat-Gir—

*The moment he tosses her off the top rope, Bat-Girl quickly turns her entire body over and lands on her feet! The Destroyer looks on in bewilderment for a split second, long enough for Bat-Girl to PUNISH him with a stiff kick to the face! Kunoi travels backward from the impact, crash landing in the corner with his head resting against the bottom turnbuckle.*

!!POP!!

Crowd: OOOOOH!!

Bob: WHAT A KICK!
Ralph: She better take advantage now… Kunoi is looking slightly concussed from that kick!

*Cassandra drags the Grand Champion to the center of the ring… She stalks the hurting Destroyer, before grabbing his right arm. She then takes her boot and drops it on the Champion’s throat! The rest of the hold is academic! She pulls Kunoi’s arm toward her as hard as possible, while at the same time pushing her foot deeper into his throat! Kunoi instantly begins flopping around like a fish out of water!*

Everyone: O_O!!

Ralph: HOLY SH—
Bob: Mule’s Kill lock by Bat-Girl!! COME ON KUNOI!! TAP! TAP YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Ralph: o_o

*The Champion refuses to quit! As his heart begins to race, Kunoi grabs a hold of Bat-Girl’s leg with his free arm! He tries desperately to alleviate the pressure to his throat!*

Kunoi: >_< !!!! AHHHHHH!!

*Everyone in the arena are on their feet expecting to see Ishigami tap! It’s not going to happen. Kunoi uses his UNGODLY strength to push Bat-Girl’s leg away, quickly locking his legs around the falling tag team champion’s throat! He’s somehow reversed HER choke into his own, the Sankakujime!!*

Bob: …
Ralph: Triangle Choke!! It’s locked in tight!!!

*Bat-Girl also refuses to give up, but the tight grip by The Grand Champion is too much for her to bear, and she passes out in the center of the ring. The referee rushes in and pushes Kunoi off as the bell sounds in the HUSHED arena!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Kunoi: *OCUGH COUGH* X_X…

Everyone: ….

Ralph: It’s over! What a reversal!
Bob: ….

*”Water Pow” kicks up again, as Kunoi pushes the referee away who was attempting to raise his arm in victory!*

Kunoi: >=|!!

Winner: Kunoi Ishigami

Bob: well, Kunoi has proved himself by defeating X-23’s Tag team Partner, Bat—OH WHAT THE HELL! KUNOI >=|!

*Kunoi is NOT finished! He lifts the unconscious Bat-Girl back to her feet, locking on a full nelson…*

Kunoi: >=|!! I HATE BATTERANGS!

*Kunoi charges forward, before hitting the Locomotion Dragon Suplex in the center of the ring!*

Kunoi: E_E!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA BEAT ME SASA?! HUH!?

*He grabs Bat-Girl by the neck, quickly snapping on a Guillotine choke*

Ralph: …
Bob: GET SOMEBODY OUT THERE!

*Numerous officials rush the ring, while the time keeper rings the bell in vain. Kunoi is NOT letting go of the hold, that is, until X-23 sprints down the aisle! The Champ’s eyes widen as he releases the choke a second too late. X-23 flies across the ring, planting a flying drop kick to the chest that sends Kunoi flying through the ropes!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

Bob: Thank God for X-23! Get that son of a bitch out of here!

*X-23 goes to check on her tag team partner… NOT A GOOD IDEA! Kunoi slips back into the ring, locking on a choke hold from behind! Before she can react, he DROPS her with the Choke Sleeper Suplex! NOW the fans are rabid with anger!*

Crowd: L;KSJFADLFJAO

Kunoi: e_e… LOLLOLLOL

*With BOTH women now laid out, Kunoi slides out of the ring, backing his way up the aisle while appreciating his work. Unfortunately for him, he forgot one thing… there’s more than one #1 Contender to the Grand Championship! Slowly walking out from behind the curtain is–*

Bob and Ralph: D: INUYASHA!!!!!

Inuyasha: e_e…

*Kunoi slowly turns around to see the Hanyou standing only a foot away from him!*

Kunoi: D: !!

*However, today must be the luckiest day of Kunoi’s life, because from BEHIND INUYASHA IS–*

Raven: >=|!!!!!!!!!!

*FULL DEMON MODE RAVEN FRIGGIN DARC!!*

!!KARAKKAATHOOOOM!!!

*Raven takes out his opponent from behind with a SICK lariat, and continues to beat the #1 contender to the Grand Championship down the aisle! Kunoi lets out a sigh of relief as he returns to leaving the area.*

Bob: KUNOI THAT SON OF A BITCH CAN GO TO HELL!! >=|

Kunoi: …e_e..

Bob: OH SH—

*Kunoi HEARD Bob this time, and now the Commentator is FUCKED. Ishigami turns his attention to Bob and is CLIMBING UP THE COMMENTATORS TOWER1*

Ralph: o_o welp uhh.. Bob I’ll see you later… if there is a later.
Bob: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT

*Ralph dives off the tower, while Bob tries frantically to stop Kunoi’s ascent by stomping Ishigami’s hands! IT’S ONLY SERVING TO PISS THE DESTROYER OFF MORE! Kunoi reaches the top and immediately responds to Bob by palm striking him so hard, Bob almost flips over the table! Kunoi grabs Bob’s leg, ripping his shoe off and stuffing it into his mouth!*

Bob: SsaldfkajdfDA

*Ripping his dress shirt apart, Kunoi gives Bob a second, even more vicious chop to the chest that opens him up! Bob crumbles, as Kunoi slowly lifts him back up to his feet and RAMS his head into the table with enough force to destroy it!*

Crowd: D:!!

*Kunoi leaves Bob unconscious. His head is still through a piece of debris which was once the commenting table as the crowd now begins throwing trash at the Grand Champion. The camera spreads around the ring side area. X-23 and Bat-Girl are defeated, Inuyasha is unconscious on the ramp, leaving the two members of the boyfriend’s club to stand tall.*

Kunoi: >=| *FLIPS EVERYONE OFF AGAIN*

End.

Last Episode

*The video feed replays to the last episode of UCTF: Massacre, with Sasa Dark slowly sauntering down to the ring.*

Sasa: Tonight, I am allowing my favorite piece of scum the chance to begin making money again, as I’m officially REINSTATING Kunoi Ishigami back into active competition. In fact, I’m even going to place him in the main event next week, as he will face XIU SHIELDS’ on the next episode of Massacre. And Kunoi… I hope you win that match. =3 I want you to enjoy your last time ever winning a contest inside this Arena, because at the next pay per view, CYBERSLAM VIII You will be defending your championship TWICE in one night!!! This time Kunoi. You’re GOING to lose. You’re GOING to be embarrassed, because these two proved themselves not to be total failures at Ultimate Massacre II!

*The package flashes to X-23 and Inuyasha winning their respective tournaments to claim their Strong Woman and Strong Man championships.*

Sasa: YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE END OF KUNOI ISHIGAMI’S UCTF GRAND CHAMPONSHIP RUN! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

*The video package feed fades, before we cut to the inside of the UCTF Arena, where the fans are being showered by pyrotechnical explosions from the top of the open air arena!*

Bob: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to tonight’s edition of UCTF: SATURDAY MASSACRE! I am Robert Hinden, along side my great colleague and friend, Ralph Gerard!
Ralph: Thanks, and I cannot WAIT for tonight’s broadcast! The #1 contender to the UCTF Grand Championship, Inuyasha will take on the OTHER #1 Contender, X-23 in tonight’s main event!
Bob: And let’s not forget the RETURN of Kunoi Ishigami, fresh off of his suspension will take on Xiu Shields! But right now, let’s join Arzie who’s preparing to introduce our opening match…

*We cut to the hard camera facing the ring, which displays the UCTF Ring Announcer Arzie, with RIC AUSTIN already inside the ring standing behind him. HOW DOES HE DO THAT?!?!*

Arzie: LAAADIESSS AND GENTLEMENNN!! WELCOME TO UCTF: MASSACRE!

Crowd: *POPS!*

Arzie: The following is our opening contest, and it is scheduled for one fall… Introducing first, already inside the ring… He is The Leader of the New NEW UCTF Revolution… RRIICCCCCC AUSTTTINNNN!!!!

*The masked superstar throws his fat arms into the air to a MASSIVE chorus of boos from the crowd!*

Arzie: And his opponent… making his UCTF debut…

*”Supervillain” by Powerman5000 keys up, bringing down the newest member of the UCTF roster…*

Arzie: hailing from the NEGAVERSE… he stands at an incredible six feet, seven inches, and weighs in tonight at one hundred, sixty one pounds… He is… ROOOSSIIIIIINNNTHORRRRNNN!

*The skinny, long haired warrior created in the labs of the Negaverse (Yes.. That negaverse. From Sailor Moon. e_e) slowly marches his way down the aisle.*

Bob: Rosinthorn, making his first trip down the aisle of the UCTF Arena… Will he be victorious in his debut against Ric Austin?
Ralph: As long as he’s not hit by a freakin’ meteor on his way down to the ring, of COURSE he is. Shit, I’m sure even if he’s hit by one, he’s still got one hell of an advantage over Austin…

*The Newb climbs through the ropes, prepared to make a name for himself in his first official match up…*

!!DING DING DING!!

Ric Austin vs. Rosinthorn

*The sound of the bell means our first match is underway, and Ric Austin quickly rushes into battle full speed! Swinging wildly, Ric misses Rosinthorn COMPLETELY as the villain simply teleports out of the way, causing Ric to fly face first into the turnbuckle in front of him! Rosinthorn reappears a nanosecond later, directly behind Ric Austin. His back is turned to the masked wrestler, showing blatant disrespect!*

Bob: Brilliant speed shown there by Rosinthorn!
Ralph: Look at him, he won’t even stand face to face with Ric!

*Ric stumbles back to his feet, befuddled and embarrassed, he charges back towards Rosinthorn once more! As he advances on his opponent, his movements slow down, until he’s literally stuck in his pose. It’s as if he’s trying to push an invisible door made of lead!*

Ralph: is.. is Rosinthron..
Bob: HOLDING RIC BACK SIMPLY THROUGH THE USE OF HIS KI! THIS IS INCREDIBLE!

*Never turning to face his opponent, Rosinthorn tosses Ric backwards with a mere THOUGHT! His telekinetic blast sends Ric rolling backwards into the corner like a bowling ball! The pudgy wrestler strikes the corner, and flails wildly under the bottom rope before he lands HEAD FIRST on the concrete floor below!*

Crowd: OOOOHHH!!

Bob: And Austin’s sent out of the ring with a sickening thud!
Ralph: Ok Ric, if you want to live to lose another day, just stay down on the outside of that ring! It doesn’t even look like Rosinthorn wants to fight you!

*Wise advice by Ralph, The Hentai commentator, but do you actually expect Ric Austin to listen?! As Rosinthorn curiously peers over the top rope, Ric springs from the floor, driving his forearm right into the Negaverse Villain’s crotch! Now, no matter who you are or how powerful you are, a blow to the gonads will ALWAYS work!*

Bob: RIC WITH THE LOW BLOW! RIC WITH THE LOW BLOW!

*Rosinthorn stumbles to the center of the ring, allowing Ric to climb into the squared circle, now brandishing a steel chair!*

Ric: ARRRGHHH!!!

!!POP!!

Crowd: *WINCES!*

*Ric, with murderous intent, swings the chair with all his might! It connects more than a half dozen times before the remains of the steel chair are unrecognizable! Ric almost collapses from fatigue, when Rosenthorn begins to slowly re-ascend to his feet. Panicked, Ric now begins his climb to the top rope with the fragments of the steel folding chair!*

Bob: Ric is going for all or nothing here!
Ralph: Spoiler alert folks at home, this isn’t going to work!

*Ric leaps off with the chair high above his head! BIG MISTAKE! Rosinthorn leaps into the air as well, catching the morbidly obese pro-wrestler midflight, and turning it into a JUMPING EMERALD FLOWSION in the center of the ring!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!

Ralph: mmhhmm..
Bob: GOOD GOD!! SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!

*The chair goes flying out of the ring, as Ric takes the deadly emerald flowsion like it’s death itself! Laying completely motionless and spread-eagled in the center of the ring, he is pinned with a simple foot placed across his chest by Rosinthorn!*

Ref: 1…… 2……. 3!!!!!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: AND IT’S OVER!
Ralph: wow.
Bob: Rosinthorn makes short work of Ric Austin in his debut, and will go onto bigger and better challenges! Welcome to the UCTF!

Winner: Rosinthorn

*Rosinthorn reaches into his breast pocket, pulling out a black rose before laying it gently into Ric Austin’s hand. He slowly turns and retreats from the ring as the camera gets one more shot of Austin completely unconscious! Meanwhile, Backstage, the camera catches the UCTF Grand Champion, Kunoi Ishigami entering the arena for the first time in SEVERAL months, and he’s not happy!*

Crowd: BOOOOOO!!

*He rushes past scared employees, making a B-line for his dressing room.*

Kunoi: OH XIU!! E_E IT’S ALMOST THAT TIME XIU. I HOPE YOU’RE READY.

Ralph: …I hope SSS’s little brother doesn’t show up tonight.
Bob: I… I actually agree with you. With all that pent up aggression Kunoi has right now, he might end up slaughtering that kid…

Arzie: The following matchup is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Aht Urhgan, weighting in at 160 pounds, BLUUUU De’Ragnarok!!!

*Eternal Gravestones tunes up from the speakers as Blu De’Ragnarok walks down the ramp, fresh off his victory against Ric Austin! The bluish-dressed mage steps into the ring to prepare for his next opponent.*

Bob: And here’s Blu, who came off a devastating victory in his debut match!
Ralph: Honestly I think Ric Austin is just fodder for newbies to feel good about themselves. e_e
Bob: He may as well be, but now Blu is going to have to think up new spells against Xamot.
Ralph: Xamot needs to WIN a match or he’ll be an embarrassment to his friends in Hell!

Arzie: And his opponent, weighting in at 220 pounds in his human form… XAAAAMMOOOOTTTT!!!!

*Just then, Forever Torment plays as Xamot comes out, in his human form of course, with his slave Melinda walking behind him. The demon possessing Dre Alexander’s body glares at the mage as he steps into the ring and quickly enough the bell rings.*

*DING*

Bob: You think Xamot can finally score a win, this time against Blu?
Ralph: Maybe. I mean the only opponent Blu beaten so far was Ric Austin!

*Blu pulls out his Tizona sword, and comes in with a charge! Xamot only grins at the sight at such a weapon, and instead of a real Final Fantasy monster, he actually sidesteps the slash, grabs Blu by the back of the head, and throws him onto the turnbuckles.*

Blu: OOOOFF!! o_<!!

*But that’s not the end of it as Xamot charges up and executes the Soukeiha, and Blu gets sandwiched between the nasty move and the turnbuckle! Blu falls forward dazed, only for Xamot to grab him and then sends him FLYING high up in the air with a Koeikyaku, and then when Blu’s in mid-air, Xamot leaps up to catch him and powerbombs him back into the mat!*

Bob: Ooooh, Death Bomb!
Ralph: Xamot’s starting off at a frenzy here!
Bob: Wait… Xamot’s climbing up to the top rope… what is he gonna do?!

Xamot: RAAWRRR!!! >=|!!

*His body transform into a ball of energy in the form of a panther, hurling downward at Blu’s prone body!*

*THOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!*

*Xamot goes for an early pin!*

Ref: One…. two….

*But Blu kicks out just at the nick of time! Coughing, the mage decked in Near Eastern armor staggers up, only for Xamot to help him up by clutching him by the neck and hoist him in the air!*

Bob: Uh oh… looks like Xamot’s going for a chokeslam here!

*Indeed, but as Xamot lifts him by the neck, Blu chants a quick spell, and lets loose with a spell called… a Head Butt. Essentially that’s exactly what it is, but it’s enough to make Xamot let him go, and Blu lands on his feet!*

Blu: e_x… >=|

*He grabs both of his swords and go on the offensive! He steps in close enough and spins with a Circle Blade, cutting Xamot on the arms, and as soon as he stops, he channels his swords to glow and strikes him with the Seraph Blades! Then his swords turn into fire, smashing Xamot across the chest with Red Lotus Blade, sending Xamot over the ropes and crashes onto the steel barriers!*

Crowd: OOOOOHHH!!!

Xamot: ……. *growls*

*Blu steps back as Xamot suddenly transforms into his 7’3" demon form! As he climbs back into the ring, Blu frowns and charges with a Fast Blade attack, but it was Xamot who gets the last laugh here as he suddenly grabs Blu’s wrists to stop the attack, and his wing tips turn razor sharp…*

Ralph: Time for a blood donation, Blu!

Blu: O_O!!!!

*Xamot’s sharp wings stab onto Blu multiple times while the poor mage is being held, cutting some of his clothing to shreds and the flesh underneath to go with it! After what seems to be a minute and dozens of stabs later, Xamot finally throws him back onto the center of the ring, and laughs as Blu’s blood drips from his wing tips! Blu staggers up, realizing that this opponent is definitely no Ric Austin, and with a snarl, he channels another a spell, the Sickle Slash, sending a yellow energy something straight onto Xamot’s body, sending him to the ropes! Xamot roars and charges back, but Blu chants another spell, transforming his entire body into hardened Diamondhide! Xamot manages to strike him with his fist, but…*

Xamot: GAAAAHHHH!!!! x_x

*The strike hurt Xamot more than it hurt Blu! As Xamot staggers back, holding his wounded fist, Blu chants yet another spell, the Ram Charge, and the mat area underneath Xamot literally explodes, knocking Xamot to the ground. Blu takes a breather… and does a Convergence spell to increase his next spell by 25%. Exactly how that works in the real world here in the UCTF… not even the fight writer is exactly sure. Same thing with Magic and Hit Points. Maybe Damage Points, but a sword slash is a friggin’ sword slash, okay?! Have any of you noticed that Final Fantasy VI (released as Final Fanasty III in North America) is still the best game in terms of plot?! Then again that’s the fight writer’s opinion so… err where was I? OH! The match…*

Blu: e____e

*Using his earlier Convergence to his advantage, he chants a 1000 Needles spell! No, it’s not just some area south of the Badlands of World of Warcraft, as literally a thousand needles of energy splatters onto Xamot’s large body! The demon flies back onto a turnbuckle, groaning loudly… but he still has some fight left in him! Blu readies his swords to go for the final assault, but much to his surprise, Xamot roars and does a desperate Touch of Death! Merely touching the dark energy would make the bones explode!*

Bob: Oh no…. oh no, and Blu’s coming right for it!! O___O

Blu: O__O!!!

*BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Ralph: Woah, what the Hell?!

*Blu does a desperate move of his own, channeling a cannonball that smashes onto Xamot, knocking him straight to the mat! Now it’s Blu’s turn to go for the pin!*

Ref: One…. two…. three!!!!

Melinda: x_x *facepalm*

Ralph: Blu pulls off another win! Whew, that was a close one, getting in that attack before his bones explode or something!
Bob: Blu is still undefeated after two matches!

Winner: Blu De’Ragnarok

*Backstage, Kunoi Ishigami, now in his ring gear gleefully tapes up his wrists, all the while screaming to the top of his lungs. (YES, HE’S BEEN DOING THIS EVER SINCE HE ARRIVED.)*

Kunoi: ONLY A FEW MORE MINUTES XIU! E_E ONLY A FEW MORE MINUTES AND YOU PAY FOR PUTTING CHRIS CHAN IN MY ROOM. YOU HEAR ME?! YOUR LIFE IS RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

*Back in the main arena…*

Bob: …
Ralph: Xiu, stay away from the ring tonight ;_;!!

Arzie: Laaddiessss and Gentlemen… the following contest is scheduled for one fall!

Have Mercy on Me… a Sinner!

*Lo-Ruhamah storms to the ring, receiving an even bigger tirade of booing from the crowd than usual. I mean… did you SEE his last message to the UCTF a few days ago?! Be surprised that he actually made it to the arena in one piece!*

Arzie: Introducing first, the former UCTF World Champion… He is the Unloved one, Looooo-RUHAMAHHHH!!!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Bob: Ruhamah was in rare form in his come back match against Bat-Girl last episode…
Ralph: Yeah but where did it get him?
Bob: Be fair, Ralph! It was one slight mistake that cost him the match against the tag team champion. He seems to be more focused than before!

*”Eclipsed” begins playing, and out walks Dimitri.*

Arzie: and his opponent… making his way down the aisle… DIIIIMIITRRRIIIII!!

Bob: Fresh off of his victory over Xamot last week!
Ralph: In which he didn’t even break a sweat…
Bob: Dimitri looks to topple the legendary Lo-Ruhamah in UCTF competition!

*As the moments before the bell shorten, an obvious anxious expression grows quickly across the mug of the former World Champion!*

Dimitri vs. Lo-Ruhamah

!!DING DING DING!!

*And like a dog reacting to Pavlov bell, The Unloved one explodes out of his corner, charging towards Dimitri like a fat kid rushing towards Golden Corral! (Coincidentally, what Lo-Ruhamah himself was doing this time a year ago!) The Russian officer can’t react in time, and he’s victimized by a brutal pounding by Ruhamah in the corner!*

Bob: Lo not wasting any time here at the start of this match!

*Dimitri falls to the canvas and wisely rolls outside of the ring to create space! His reprieve doesn’t last long, however, as Lo has halfway over the top rope a split second later!*

Bob: Suicide dive by L—

!!CRUNCH!!

*Lo lands on top of Dimitri in an over the top rope Lou Thesz Press style mount before putting the fists to his opponent!*

Lo: THINK I’M GONNA LET YOU STEAL MY KI FROM ME LIKE THAT IDIOT XAMOT, YA COMMIE?!

Everyone: o_o

Ralph: Wow, he’s in a REALLY bad mood. Did you hear his radio broadcasts?
Bob: yeah, Tokyo Rose would be proud of him. e_e

*Ruhamah pulls Dimitri back to his feet before tossing the officer back into the ring. Methodically climbing in behind him, Lo draws his fist back, waiting for the perfect opportunity to land a big strike…*

Bob: Lo’s going for the knockout blow!

*Dimitri climbs to one knee right as Ruhamah goes for the big right cross! Unfortunately for the former World Champion, however, Dimitri catches his fist!*

Dimitri: …you’re right.

*Dimitri looks up, a smug smirk begins to swell on his face.*

Dimitri: I won’t need those powers to defeat you. >=)
Lo: D:!!

*The Russian’s grip on Lo’s fist tightens to bone shattering levels before hitting a SICKENING overhead Judo throw! Not letting go of Lo’s arm, Dimitri easily twists the former champion’s limb, forcing him to roll over onto his stomach! Dimitri mounts and PUNISHES The Unloved one with several vicious strikes to the back of the head!*

Bob: Dimitri with a SLAM to the canvas!
Ralph: Lo’s mouth gets him punched in the face again. Why am I not surprised?

*The former champion battles back to his feet WITH Dimitri perched on his shoulders! He quickly drops off, only to fall victim to one of Lo’s patented knife-edge chops! The Russian eats a series of blows, before firing back with a straight jab of his own. This powerful punch staggers Lo backwards for a split second, before the tenacious SOB charges back with a wild lunging strike! Not the smartest of moves against a military trained warrior like Dimitri! He turns Lo’s momentum against himself, sending Ruhamah stumbling a few steps past him, managing to hit nothing but air! Dimitri quickly grabs Lo, lifting him into the air for a toss, only to be pounded in the side of the skull with an elbow!*

Bob: Dimitri reverses, only to have the reversal reversed by Lo!
Ralph: …

*Lo quickly grabs Dimitri’s arm and twists the Russian over for the “Purgatory Whip!” Dimitri risks breaking his arm by RIPPING his limb out of the hold before being thrown end over end. As he staggers backwards while favoring his arm, Lo quickly strikes once more, using Dimitri as a step ladder with the Heavenly Step Kick!*

Bob: HEAVENLY STEP K—

*At the Apex of the Heavenly Step Kick Attack, Lo swings his body around violently in attempt to finish the strike with a big roundhouse to the back of Dimitri’s skull! The Russian telegraphs the move, BARELY ducking under the kick! Lo lands on one foot slightly off balance, easy pickings for Dimitri, who snatches on a headlock from behind!*

Ralph: That’s not good!

*As Dimitri drives Lo-Ruhamah forward to land his “Setting Sun” technique, Lo uses all of his energy to shove The Russian off of him! The brute strength manages to help Lo slip his head out of the lock, and sends Dimitri tumbling chest first into the ropes! Dimitri rebounds, right into the waiting arms of The Former World Champion, who delivers a DEVASTATING German Suplex in the center of the ring!*

Bob: German Suplex connects!

*Lo rolls over, keeping the waistlock connected!*

Bob: Lo’s got the hold locked still! We’ve seen this before!

*Lo pops his hips once more, sending Dimitri backwards with a second Brutal German Style Suplex!*

Bob: Lo powers back to his feet! Dimitri is still locked!

*He throws Dimitri backwards for a third German Suplex, but the Russian flips completely backwards and lands on his feet behind him! Grabbing Lo quickly by the skull, he drives the former World Champion face first into the canvas!*

Ralph: Christ!
Bob: Dimitri slips out and makes Lo pay!

*Dimitri quickly attempts to lock on another submission maneuver onto his dazed opponent, but he’s not fast enough! Lo quickly rolls to his feet! Dimitri quickly goes for a punch which is blocked high, followed by a low kick to the mid-section! He doubles over, allowing Lo to set him up for a powerbomb!*

Bob: Lo back in control in this quick paced ma—

*Right when Lo tosses Dimitri onto his shoulders for the powerbomb, Dimitri slips out of the hold and responds with a neck shattering roundhouse kick to the face! Both men, now off balance, stumble backwards! The ropes of the squared circle rebound both men, as they both lunge toward each other at terminal velocity! The added momentum from the ropes launch both men high in the air, as they both attempt a jump kick at the simultaneously!*

Bob: BOTH MEN AIRBORNE!

*The deliver a stunning, double split kick that connect CLEAN mid-flight! Dimitri and Lo-Ruhamah crash next to each other on the canvas… spread eagled and motionless after jarring each other with tandem kicks to the dome!*

Bob: AND THEY BOTH CRASH AND BURN!
Ralph: That could not have felt good!
Bob: Agreed! But to their credit, they’re both getting up after kicks that would have put down an elephant!

*Lo and Dimitri slowly climb back to their feet, and along the way, battle each other with unprotected strikes to the face! This contest has now turned into a test of will! Who can take the most punishment head on?!*

Bob: Neither man is backing down here! This could be the makings of a CLASSIC con—WHAT THE HELL?!

*Two figures enter the ring and blindside BOTH Ruhamah and Dimitri with a powerful set of clotheslines that send the weary warriors to the canvas!*

Ralph: Is that… that new guy?
Bob: YES! It’s Rosinthorn! What in the HELL is he doing out here, and who is that with him?!

*The Referee attempts to keep the new competitor in the UCTF at bay along with his partner, but he is sent over the top rope for his troubles! Rosinthorn drops a jagged shard of metal in the center of the ring…*

Ralph: There goes the ref… and what the hell did he just drop?
Bob: I don’t… I have no idea WHAT is going on right now.

Winner: No Contest

*Now directing traffic, Rosinthorn instructs his partner to lift the prone Lo-Ruhamah back to his feet*

Bob: Rosinthorn, for whatever reason is taking it to Ruhamah!

*He abides, before hitting the ropes and LEVELING Ruhamah with a running elbow to the back of the head! The Unloved one falls forward into the arms of Rosinthorn, who quickly delivers the Jumping Emerald Flowsion in the center of the ring! While this happens, his nameless partner slowly points to the entrance of the Arena…*

Bob: FALL FROM GRACE by Rosinthorn!! Good Lord what a move!
Ralph: Uhh… Bob, check the entrance.
Bob: LDFKAJDSL;FJ WHAT THE HELL?!

*Four beings, dressed from head to toe in black, roll a casket made purely from iron down the aisle… it is becoming increasingly clear that Rosinthorn has had this attacked planned for a VERY long time! Once the Casket makes it’s rest at the edge of the ring, the unnamed individuals slowly open the structure. The unconscious Lo-Ruhamah is easily punted out of the ring and into the casket! The doors are closed as Rosinthorn and his partner stand on top of the structure, their arms in the air in front of a hushed silence of the UCTF Capacity Crowd!*

Ralph: Um… not that he doesn’t deserve regular beatings like this… WHY!?

*More officials rush down to the ring to FINALLY separate the men from Ruhamah, meanwhile, more officials check on Dimitri…*

Bob: I have no idea Ralph! Not a clue! But you can bet your bottom damn dollar that they will have hell to pay. Not only did they attack Lo-Ruhamah, but they put their hands on Dimitri. o_o
Ralph: …

*Backstage, Kunoi Ishigami, The UCTF Grand Champion is ready to go. You can almost see the smirk on his face! (Come on, It’s Kunoi, this guy NEVER Smiles! You know someone is in serious trouble!)*

Kunoi: TIME’S UP, XIU E_E YOU’RE DONE SON! AS SOON AS THEY CLEAN UP THOSE WORTHLESS IDIOTS OUT THERE, YOUR ASS IS MINE!

*Elsewhere, in a dark area of the Arena, Xiu has been listening to Kunoi Ishigami’s rants all night, and he’s not afraid.*

Xiu: …e_e *takes a sip of mountain dew.*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall….

!!A LOADED GOD COMPLEX
COCK IT AND PULL IT!!

Bob: Well… here we go!
Ralph: DEADMAN WALKING! DEADMAN WALKING!

Arzie: Introducing first, on his way down the aisle, he is the keyblade slinging son-of-a-gun, XIIUUUU SHIIIEEELLDDSSSS!

*The former assistant of Jeice makes his way down the aisle while Fallout Boy plays on the speakers behind him. He attempts to ignore the expressions of pity directed towards him by the UCTF Capacity Crowd, as he’s preparing to face a very angry Japanese man in a few short moments.*

Arzie: Anddd his opponent…

*As “Water Pow” interrupts Arzie, Kunoi storms his way down the aisle with a sadistic/crazed look in his eye!*

Arzie: And his opponent, The Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting League’s Grand CHA—

*Arzie is drowned out by the screaming from the champ as his fast paced walking transforms into a full sprint! Kunoi’s jacket and Grand Title have been left behind half way up the ramp as he dives face first into the ring!*

Kunoi: THAT’S YOUR ASS XIU!! YOU’RE DONE RIGHT NOW!

*Ishigami instantly goes for the double leg, only for Xiu to leapfrog over the champion. Kunoi pops back up to his feet in an instant and attempts to decapitate Xiu with the BUSAIKU KNEE KICK right the little blue haired warrior rebounds from the ropes! Xiu quickly rolls under the strike before pouncing to the top rope in a single bound! Kunoi turns just in time to eat a drop kick right in the face!*

Ralph: OH SH—

!!DING DING DING!!

Kunoi Ishigami vs. Xiu Shields

*No sooner than Kunoi’s shoulders hit the canvas, he kicks back up to his feet virtually unharmed, and even MORE angry than before!*

Xiu: D:!!

*He dives for Xiu, who baseball slides between the SHOOTO legend’s legs! He ends up on the apron, with Ishigami reaching over the top rope to grab him! He throws his legs over his head, locking them around Kunoi’s neck!*

Bob: This could get interesting!

*He powers his legs down, sending the Grand Champion spiraling over the top rope and to the concrete with a HUUUUGE Hurricanrana!*

Bob: Kunoi sent flying!

*Ishigami slowly climbs to his feet, while inside the ring, Xiu is gaining momentum from the ropes! Shields uses the referee’s back as a springboard, NAILING The Destroyer from Sapporo with a suicide dive!*

Ralph: JESUS!
Bob: I can’t believe I’m seeing Kunoi getting the snot knocked out of him!

*As both men slowly get up from the train wreck they caused on the ramp, Xiu grabs a hold of the UCTF Platinum Grand Championship title that Kunoi abandoned earlier and prepares to take the The Destroyer out!*

Bob: I think Xiu’s going for the knock-out blow, here!

*Xiu spins around at with reckless abandon with the twenty-five pound belt, only to have Kunoi DUCK the swing! The Champion grabs Xiu, FINALLY, and makes Shields pay with a devastating exploder suplex right on the concrete! *

Bob: XIU MAKES HIS FIRST MISTAKE AND PAYS FOR IT WITH A NASTY EXPLODER!
Ralph: Yeah… That’s his ass! He should have escaped when he had the chance!

*Kunoi methodically lifts Xiu back to his feet by his blue locks, only to have the Keyblade wielder connect with a surprise forearm to the genitals! Ishigami’s eyes roll into his head from the pain, allowing Xiu to toss the Grand Champion into the steps at full steam!*

!!CRACK!!

*The Champs face connects with the steps, sending the structure flying across the floor! Meanwhile, Xiu has reclaimed the Grand Championship belt! This time, the dazed Kunoi’s reaction time isn’t fast enough! The Platinum cracks him across the forehead, sending the champion onto the apron!*

Bob: XIU CONNECTS!!
Ralph: Did that knock him back… INTO the ring?!

*Kunoi’s body slowly rolls back into the ring. Not a good place for the Grand Champion to be! The Nimble Xiu hops to the top rope again, and prepares to make the biggest upset victory of the year in the UCTF!*

Bob: Xiu up top!!

*Xiu comes off, performing a picture perfect 450 degree spin, into a legdrop right across the FACE of Kunoi Ishigami! He swiftly rolls ontop of his opponent!*

Ref: 1….. 2….. 2.9999999!!

*But it’s not to be! The Champion kicks out!*

Bob: Xiu just barely avoids the upset of the century!
Ralph: Yeah right… Shields’ always snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Bob: uhh.. you know, I don’t think he’s ACTUALLY a Shields…
Ralph: DOES HE HAVE BLUE HAIR OR NOT? >=|

*Regardless of the kid’s Genealogy, Xiu remains in control of the matchup thus far! Balling up his hands, He begins to produce a flaming type aura of ki around his wrists in the form of Dragon’s claws!*

Bob: Xiu manifesting some kind of battle energy!

*He lunges into the Grand Champion, unloading a flurry of burning slashes about Kunoi’s body, circling him with a blur of red and blue!*

-Somewhere in Metropolis-

Clark: *SNEEZE*

-Back in the Arena-

Kunoi: STAND STILL!

*Xiu ducks a powerful, yet SLOW haymaker, punishing the Grand Champ with a stiff elbow to the gut! He then pivots his body towards Kunoi, NAILING The Destroyer with a palm strike directly to the sternum with enough brute force to lift Ishigami off of his feet!*

Bob: Kunoi taken off his feet!

*He ONE PATTERNS above Kunoi, and crushes the champion back to the canvas with a DBZ style Meteor Strike attack!*

!!KAAAATHOOOOM!!

Bob: METEOR STRIKE! METEOR STRIKE!

*The smoke clears to reveal Kunoi laying face first, motionless in the center of the ring. *

Ralph: Holy sh—I thought Kunoi was put THROUGH the ring with that last move!
Bob: So this must be the “Z-Level” strength I’ve heard about from this kid. He maybe have just knocked out the toughest bastard on our roster with very little effort!

*As Xiu slowly descends, The Destroyer’s hand slowly begins to move… The Champion is very much awake, and VERY MUCH PISSED!

Kunoi: e_e… Alright. That’s how you want to play it Xiu?! THAT’S HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY IT!?!? ARRRGHHHH!!!

!!KAAATHHHHOOOOMM!!

*For the second time in his career in the UCTF, Kunoi powers up, unlocking his hidden potential, and we now have a match!*

Bob: oh no! Kunoi’s unlocking that ability he used against Yugo Ogami!
Ralph: Xiu just might have pissed the wrong guy off o_o

*Not given Kunoi the opportunity to fully power up, Xiu launches himself towards the Grand Champion while focusing every bit of his battle aura into his feet!*

Xiu: ARRRGHHHH!!

*Xiu draws back, nailing the Champion in the side of the neck with a platinum ki powered roundhouse kick!! Kunoi’s neck bends to a fourty five degree angle, but the Champion doesn’t even so much as WINCE in pain! You can almost SEE the moment Xiu loses all control of his body fluids from fear!*

Xiu: O_O!

Ralph: UH OH!!!

*Shield’s darts backward quickly, but Kunoi is ALREADY BEHIND HIM! A knife edge chop from the champion connects!*

Bob: GOOD LORD Xiu just bounced off the damn ground from ONE SLAP!
Ralph: Yep… the bad times are about to begin here!
Bob: To his credit, Xiu is back to his feet already, and with glowing fists!
Ralph: Should have stayed down!

*Now being followed by a trail of sparkling light emanating from his very fists, Xiu challenges the powered up Kunoi Ishigami head on!*

Xiu: HA! HA!

*As his controlled frenzy of punches are parried away by the Champion, Xiu surprises The Destroyer with a HEADBUTT! Kunoi staggers half a step backward…*

Kunoi: …*checks himself* … >=|!!
Xiu: O_O

*Kunoi comes back with twice as many punches, at TWICE the speed! Xiu is clobbered from one corner of the ring to the other!*

Bob: ISHIGAMI OPENING UP A CAN ON XIU!
Ralph: Xiu go to the nuts again! It’s your only chance!

*Xiu throws himself backward into the corner, and out of pure desperation, kicks the champion in the face with dual boots! Kunoi rolls backwards, giving the kid seconds of breathing room to pounce to the top rope!*

Bob: ALL OR NOTHING FOR XIU!

*Xiu flies off the top rope and lands RIGHT ON KUNOI’S SHOULDERS*

Kunoi: >=D!!!!!!!!

Bob: KUNOI’S GOT HIM!

*Kunoi tosses Xiu into the air and throws his Busaiku Knee Kick, only to have it caught mid-flight by Xiu, who reverse it into a Dragon Screw Leg throw!*

Crowd: *POPS!!!*

Ralph: HOLY SH-
Bob: HE REVERSED THE KNEE KICK! THAT DAMN MOVE HAS ENDED CAREERS!
Ralph: His brother’s career!
Bob: Yea—e_e

*Shields’ is back to his feet first, and finally, the time for playing is OVER.*

Bob: I think Xiu is—YES! KEYBLADE!

Kunoi: …

*Kunoi looks up in time to see the Keyblade SPINNING toward him! Xiu unleashes a fury of slashes, followed by a brutal series of knees, into an uppercut that lifts him off his feet! Xiu leaps above him, nailing the champion with a keyblade assited meteor strike! Arriving on the canvas BEFORE Kunoi, Xiu drives the butt of the keyblade INTO the falling Kunoi’s midsection! A trail of blue ki follows behind him!*

Xiu: …ANIMA LEONISSSS!!

*An explosion of ki in the form of a giant Lion’s head engulfs Kunoi, as it’s roar fills the UCTF Arena!*

!!KAAAATHHHOOOOMMMM!!!

…………….

*The crowd goes into a hush, as Smoke fills the arena. As Xiu falls to one knee, completely exhausted, the fans around the world wait to see if they’ve witnessed Kunoi Ishigami’s first loss in WHO KNOWS how many years at this point!*

Ref: uhh.. o_o ring the be—

Kunoi: AAAARRRGHHHH!!!

Everyone: O_O!!

*Kunoi leaps THROUGH the fog! He’s on fire from the Anima Leona attack, and more enraged than ever before! *

Kunoi: CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!
Xiu: LOL-FU—

*Xiu swings the Keyblade out of desperation one last time, only for Kunoi to SPRINGBOARD off of the weapon and NAIL Shields with a flying Busaiku Knee!*

Crowd: OOOOH!!!

Ralph: JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST!!

*OPEN HAND SLAP TO THE FACE! ANOTHER! BACKHAND! SECOND BACKHAND TO THE FACE, SPINNING BUSAIKU KNEE! Xiu spins 180 degrees, allowing Kunoi to lock on the Katahajime choke! Kunoi pops his hips, delivering the CHOKE SLEEPER SUPLEX! Xiu bounces off his head before his body comes to a rest spread eagled on the canvas! Kunoi mounts quickly, unleashing a brutal series of unanswered one armed bombs directly to the face!*

Bob: Kunoi unleashing hell on Xiu Shields!! This is not good!

*Finally the referee DIVES into Kunoi, separating the two before The Champion can inflict any permanent damage on Xiu, and that’s IT!*

!!DING DING DING DING DING!!

Everyone: D:!!

*Kunoi, doing what he does best, effectively sucks the life directly from each and every fan praying for his demise in a matter of seconds! This match is OVER!*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match… The UCTF Grand Champion, KUUNOOIIII ISHIGAMIIII!!!

Winner: Kunoi Ishigami

*Ishigami stalks the Unconscious Xiu, but the referee quickly throws himself in between the two competitors! Kunoi thinks wisely of the situation, slowly turning and leaving the ring! It’s safe to say he’s proven his point after an impressive victory!*

Ralph: I actually thought Xiu was on the verge of winning there.
Bob: Who the hell didn’t?! He hit Kunoi with damn near everything in his arsenal! Kunoi is some kind of machine!

*We quickly cut to the backstage area, where The dog Demon, Inuyasha watches Kunoi retreat to the back.*

Bob: But can even the Grand Champion withstand the force that is the Dog Demon, Inuyasha? The almost invulnerable Grand Champion is on a collision course with Kunoi Ishigami! He will take on the other #1 contender to the Grand Championshp, X-23 NEXT UP!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is our MAIN EVENT CONTEST!

Crowd: *MASSIVE POP!*

*Story of the Year’s epic “We Don’t Care Anymore" begins playing, bringing down The Clone…*

Arzie: Introducing first, making her way down to the ring, she is one half of the UCTF Tag Team Champions.! She is the UCTF Strong Woman Champion, and the number one Contender to the UCTF Grand Championship… She is… XXXX-23!!!!

Bob: X-23 earned her place after her impressive victory over Leona in the finals of the Strong Woman Tournament.
Ralph: Leona came to that tournament and dominated, but made an almost fatal mistake when she tried to explode Girl Wolverine here o_o.

*Her music dies down, leaving a momentary silence throughout the arena before “Hanyou Inuyasha” kicks up! The crowd pops hard as the red robe wearing half demon slowly steps out from behind the curtain.*

Arzie: And her opponent, He hails from the Feudal era of Japan… He is not only the winner of the UCTF Strong Man Tournament, but he simultaneously holds the Weaponmaster and UCTF Intergalactic Championships around his waist! He is ALSO the Number One Contender to the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting League’s GRAND Championship! He is none other than the DOOOGG DEMON… INUUUYAAASHAAAAA!

Bob: Huh… I’m sensing a little Bias here from Arzie. O_o
Ralph: What are you talking about? Inuyasha doesn’t have all that stuff around his waist? >=|
Bob: no it’s just… and the double headed coin last week..
Ralph: Oh it’s his fault for htat?
Bob: No I’m just saying—
Ralph: You’re a hater, Bob. =\ All these years and I’m just now finding out you’re a player hater.
Bob: O_o Player Hater? Where’d you learn that Term?
Ralph: Urban Dictionary.

*The Double Champion hops over the top rope with ease. Both fighters surrender their gold to the referee, as he in turn releases the titles to the time keeper. The dual #1 contenders remain in the center of the ring. Not a muscle has moved between the two of them as their eyes remain locked on each other.*

Bob: Expect X-23 to turn up the intensity in this match up, after the way Sasa Dark and others have been downplaying her skills over the past few weeks.
Ralph: Oh here you go again! Stop trying to cause trouble here! It’s obvious these two share a mutual respect for each other and NOBODY out here is downplaying her skills!
Bob: mhm… e_e

*The referee sounds for the bell, and our main event match is underway!*

!DING DING DING!

X-23 vs. Inuyasha

*Ralph is actually right for once in his life. These two DO share a mutual respect for each other, that’s they they both POUNCE each other the second the bell sounds!*

Bob: The #1 contenders lunge toward each other immediately!

*X-23 catches the bruiser’s arm and quickly tosses him over her head with a well placed Judo throw! Inuyasha slams the ground with enough force to bring him BACK to his feet! Stumbled, he falls into the ropes before he’s rebounded back towards the center of the ring!*

Bob: The Intergalactic Champ quickly back to his feet!

*The momentum aids Inuyasha as he sails towards The X-man! He swings wildly again, accomplishing nothing more than opening himself up for a BIG open palm strike from X-23 right in the sternum! The strike halts him right in his tracks…*

Inuyasha: GRRR!!

*The brute leans in for another wild strike! Not a good idea! Left palm strike to the chin from The Clone, a right, low roundhouse to the knee, followed by a right spin-heel kick to the breadbasket! Inuyasha SLIGHTLY leans forward, right into a flying knee to the nose!*

Bob: X-23 taking it to the Intergalactic Champion!
Ralph: Inuyasha has that slow, brute strength… X-23’s speed and agility is definitely at an advantage…. o_o she better not ever let him grab a hold of her, though.

*THIS is true, especially now that Inuyasha is growing more and more frustrated with each missed strike!*

Inuyasha: Alright… you’re fast…
X-23: …
Inuyasha: But you HIT LIKE A GIRL!

*After getting every feminazi around the world into a seething rage, Inuyasha charges the Tag Team Champion again! He draws back!*

Inuyasha: IRON REAVER!! SOUL STEA—

*The champs patented strike is PARRIED AWAY by X-23 seconds before she follows up with a BIG roundhouse to the side of the neck! It’s a kick with enough force to break the neck of an elephant! Inuyasha, however, eats the kick and it BARELY moves him!*

X-23: …

Crowd: D:!

Ralph: OH SH—

*Inuyasha goozles the one known as “Talon” before easily lifting her into the air with ONE arm! X-23 responds with another powerful roundhouse to the neck, AGAIN to no effect! The Dog Demon easily tosses the Tag Team Champion through the air, OVER the top rope and to the floor!*

!!SMACK!!

X-23: …ow.

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!

Bob: X-23 was literally FLUNG out of the ring!
Ralph: Now that was a chokeslam! I guess she didn’t hear me tell her not to let Inuyasha grab a hold of her.
Bob: I guess not. Inuyasha needed to create a distance between the two because of X-23’s superior speed. He was getting eaten alive out there!

*The Half-Breed’s reprieve does not last as long as he’d want, as X-23 kips back up to her feet in a single motion. She rushes past the stunned fans toward the ring. Inuyasha makes a b-line toward the ropes to meet her, not expecting the X-man to slide under the bottom rope and right past him! By the time he spins around, she’s already back to her feet and rebounding off of the ropes at the far side of the ring.*

Bob: X-23 off the ropes!

*Inuyasha once again swings wildly, and X-23 once again ducks underneath… She bounces off of the nearest set of ropes, springs off of them, flying into a handstand. She vaults off, nailing Inuyasha with a resulting vault kick that manages to knock the oaf off of his feet!*

Ralph: She got him!
Bob: Inuyasha down for the first time in the match! Now he finds himself trying to pick himself up from the canvas!

*The second Inuyasha rolls to his knees, X-23 is already above him, somersaulting in mid-flight!*

Ralph: UH OH!

*The Downward Guillotine kick lands right on the base of the Hanyou’s neck, damn near imprinting Inuyasha’s face into the canvas from the impact of the crushing kick!*

Bob: The Intergalactic Champion made to kiss the ring! He’s maybe now realizing he shouldn’t have underestimated his female opponent!
Ralph: DAMMIT Bob! >=|

*X-23 flips backward just as Inuyasha climbs to one knee. Stunned, he rubs the back of his aching neck with a slight smirk on his face.*

Inuyasha: Alright… That wasn’t bad girlie. I admit I didn’t take you seriously enough at first.

Bob: HAH!

Inuyasha: But not anymore. LET’S GO!
X-23: HAAAAA!!

*The silent warrior charges forth towards the Intergalactic Champion! Inuyasha parries away two high punches easily, just before X-23 flips backwards, attempting to catch him off guard with another rising kick to the chin! Not this time! Inuyasha catches her by the ankle, and lifts her high over his head!*

Ralph: got her!

*Just before he prepares to slam her into obliteration, X-23 slips out of the half-demon’s grip, landing behind him! She goes for a low sweeping kick, but Inuyasha easily leaps over the attempt, followed by a kick of his own! Talon rolls out of the way, springing forward towards the champ once more! Inuyasha quickly dashes backwards, easily avoiding more strikes from the Tag Team champion…*

Bob: Inuyasha is now matching X-23 move for move!

*Off balance, X-23 is FINALLY hit in the ribs by a big left from The Half-Breed! Rolling with the punch, she springs off of the middle rope, flying towards her opponent with her leg cocked backwards!*

Inuyasha: Too slow!

*Inuyasha darts towards her in a big silver and red blur, NAILING the airborne mutant out of the sky with a giant thrust kick! X-23 corkscrews out of the air, yet somehow manages to land in a one armed handstand, before vaulting back to her feet! Inuyasha lands on the top rope perched!*

Inuyasha: …
X-23: …

Bob: Inuyasha has the high ground!
Ralph: Yeah, but I don’t think X-23 cares!

*She leaps towards Inuyasha, who has the same thing in mind! They collide while both are still in the air, with X-23 able to connect first! She lands a BIG double axe handle style uppercut that connects!*

Bob: X-23 CONNECTS FIRST!

*Inuyasha takes the blow like a man however, giving X-23 an arrogant grin!*

Ralph: WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT INUYASHA WANTED!

*Still very much airborne, Inuyasha grabs X-23 by her collar!*

Inuyasha: IRON REAVER!!! SOUL STEALER!!!!

!!KATHHHHHOOOOMMMM!!

*The Iron Reaver, created to destroy IRON RODS connects with X-23 head on! The clone is sent reeling from the hit, and consequently, crashes on the canvas before rolling into the corner! Her body lands unnaturally from Inuyasha’s primary attack, as she comes to rest in a violent, pretzel like shape in the corner!*

Ralph: Holy shit!!
Bob: The Iron Reaver hits, and… X-23 is GETTING UP!

*She stands from the hit. Her cowl is half sliced in half. Blood pours from the open wounds on her face and neck from the result of the attack for a few moments before her healing factor kicks in. Within seconds, she’s fully healed, save the bloody mess that covers the upper portion of her body.*

X-23: ….

!!SNIKT!!

Ralph: uh oh…
Bob: And the Bloody Mutant is not happy at all! She’s finally popped her claws!
Ralph: Is it time for someone to call 911?
Bob: not yet… But I have a feeling it’s heading in that direction!

Inuyasha: Weapons, now? I guess it’s time for Tessaiga, huh?
X-23: Wrong. I’ll gut you before you have a chance to un-sheath your weapon.
Inuyasha: …

*The second Inuyasha’s brain synapse FIRES to reach for Tessaiga, X-23 is already across the ring with her claws drawn!*

Inuyasha: LOLFU—

Bob: HERE SHE COMES!

*True to her word, Inuyasha doesn’t have the chance to un-sheath his weapon before he’s forced to avoid the Mutant’s aggressive attacks toward him!*

Ralph: She’s trying to take the Champion out now and make a statement!
Bob: yeah, to never under-es—
Ralph: SHUTUP!

*Despite the increasingly feral swipes, Inuyasha manages to avoid and block away every single strike that X-23 can throw at her! It is an impressive feat. However, Inuyasha is ignorant to one little fact that he learns the hard-way! Batting the Talon away, Inuyasha inadvertently leaves himself open to for an attack via X-23’s FOOT Claw! Cartwheeling into a handstand, Laura catches the Dog Demon across the face with a quick, DEADLY claw added kick! The damage is instantaneous, with blood quickly spewing from Inuyasha’s open wound! The dog demon staggers backwards, screaming in agony!*

Bob: X-23 HAS HIM!
Ralph: That HAD to hurt! He’s wide open now, Bobby!

*X-23 charges in once more, this time delivering a CLEAN slash to Inuyasha’s chest! The kick slices through not only the Robe of the Fire Rat, but cuts DEEP into The Dog Demon’s chest! The Champion roars in pain again, this time falling to his knees!*

Bob: ANOTHER KICK AND INUYASHA GOES DOWN!
Ralph: Those claws are made from the strongest metal known to man, and Inuyasha just took two very serious blows from them…

*With one hand hiding the gash on his face, and the other holding his chest, Inuyasha shows his toughness by standing back up to his feet! The crowd climbs to theirs in unison to cheer both competitors on!*

X-23: …
Inuyasha: …

*A brief silence is shared before X-23 dashes in for the finish, unknowning that by bleeding out the Dog Demon, she has open herself up for one of his most POWERFUL attacks!*

Inuyasha: BLADES OF BLOOD!!!!

*Turning his OWN blood into dozens of sharp, bloody projectiles, Inuyasha hits his reversal on a perfectly unsuspecting X-23! She’s bombarded and her body is ravaged from head to toe!*

Bob: HIJINKESSOU from Inuyasha!! The same technique that he used to defeat Marcella Grace!!

*X-23 hits the canvas, her clothes torn to shreds… multiple stab wounds cover her body! She’s hurting, but not defeated yet!*

Ralph: Is she getting up!?
Bob: SHE’S GETTING UP!

*Inuyasha watches his opponent return to her feet. He witnesses her wounds healing before his very eyes, and he’s officially had enough of this! As she recovers, Inuyasha finally draws Tessaiga! The blade flares full of his Yokai energy instantly…*

Bob: I think this is it!
Ralph: Fans are wisely getting the hell out of the way, too!

*Not even allowing X-23 to fully stand, Inuyasha calls upon the power of his father’s final gift to him, The Tessaiga!*

Inuyasha: KAZZEEEE NO KIIIZZUUUU!!!!!!!!

!!!KAAAAAATHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!

*X-23 is quickly engulfed by Tessaiga’s attack along with everything that was unfortunate enough to be behind her! The attack designed to destroy 100 demons in a single blow flies all the way back to the wall of the UCTF Open Air Arena! Somewhere, you can hear the crew responsible for repairing the UCTF Arena on a weekly basis cry a little…*

Bob: Wind Scar connects! This one is OV—

*X-23 DIVES through the smoke left behind by the windscar! Most of her body is charred to the bone! Both claws are drawn back!*

Everyone: HOLY SH–!!

*She comes down on Inuyasha with the double axe-handle, only both of her claws drive DEEP into the flesh of the Intergalactic Champion!*

Ralph: WHAT THE HELL!? HOW?!
Bob: Inuyasha has been caught!

*She RIPS her claws out, and a stream of Inuyasha’s blood follows! It’s so quick, so devastating, that the Champion falls to the ground in a heap! Once his body hits the canvas, he’s done! No movement can be seen at by The Half-Breed as X-23’s body slowly heals from the damaged it received at the hands of the Wind Scar!*

Bob: D:
Ralph: D:
Fuck it! Everyone: D:

Ref: R… Ring it. o_o

!!DING DING DING!!

*“We Don’t Care Anymore" by Story of the Year begins playing once more as the improbable has happened! X-23 has defeated the near indestructible Inuyasha in the center of the ring! The ref goes to raise her hand in victory, but X-23’s in a near feral state, she snaps at the official, causing him to dive out of the ring!*

Arzie: And the winner of your main event… The Number One Contender to the UCTF Grand Championship… X-23!!!!

Winner: X-23

Ralph: She did it… I don’t know how, but she did it!
Bob: HAH, I knew you were under-estimating her!
Ralph: Wha? SHUTUP! YOU SAW IT! SHE TOOK THE DAMN WIND SCAR ON HEAD ON! HOW THE HELL DID SHE NOT GET BLOWN AWAY?!
Bob: I’m glad you asked! Let’s take a look!

*The replay on the Jumbotron shows X-23 driving all six claws into the canvas less than a second before Inuyasha brings down the Kaze no Kizu! X-23 literally roots herself into the canvas like a tree and takes the full blunt of Inuyasha’s Wind Scar head on before striking The Intergalactic Champion with her final attack!*

Ralph: She… o_o
Bob: Took everything that Inuyasha had, knowing that her healing factor would be able to hold up through the technique, then, using all she had left, gave Inuyasha a nearly deadly blow!

*X-23, now completely healed, and very naked o_o looks her unconscious opponent over one final time before leaving the ring. EMTs rush past her, quickly approaching the bleeding Inuyasha in an attempt to administer emergency care.*

Ralph: …mutant puppies.
Bob: X-23 has made a statement to the UCTF and Sasa Dark that she is just as dangerous as anyone in this organization! Can she carry this momentum to UCTF: Cyberslam when she faces off against Kunoi Ishigami for the biggest prize in the Multiverse?! For Ralph Gerrard, I’m Bob Hinden saying goodnight!

End.

*As the cameras begin to roll inside of the UCTF Open Air Arena, the first image witnessed by the fans watching across the globe is the decorated inside of the Arena’s squared circle. What is usually a blood and dirt stained canvas has been covered by lavish red carpeting with a giant stand that sits centered in the ring. Sitting on the stand, facing the hard camera are two trophies with the respective insignias “UCTF Strong Man” and “UCTF Strong Women.” Standing near the solid gold trophies is UCTF Ring Announcer, Arzie.*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time I would like to introduce the SAVIOR of the UCTF, Saaassaaaaa DARRRRKKKK!!!

*The end of the esteemed announcer’s sentence is quickly drowned out by a raging torrent of booing from the capacity crowd as Sasa Dark’s theme music begins to play over the sound system! The Benefactor slowly saunters onto the stage, absorbing the full brunt of an angry UCTF before continuing his arrogant stride down the aisle.*

Bob: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to another edition of the Ultimate Saturday night event, MASSACRE! Beside me is my great friend and colleague, the hentai commentator, Ralph Gerrard!

Ralph: Look who’s watching Sasa’s back, Bob.

*Walking a short distance behind The Benefactor is the man who carried out Sasa’s orders at Cyberslam VII after Yugo Ogami failed to dethrone the UCTF Grand Champion…*

Bob: It’s that DAMN Reiji Takigawa! How in the hell is he not rotting in prison for MURDERING that poor woman at Cyberslam?!

Ralph: I don’t know.

*Sasa and what is presumably his new bodyguard enter the ring before dismissing Arzie back to his seat at ringside. The Korean asshole, now with a microphone delivers his trademark shit eating grin, totally blocking out the violent jeering being directed at him towards the fans.*

Sasa: ^___^ THANKS FOR THE LOVE!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Sasa: Tonight, I am allowing my favorite piece of scum the chance to begin making money again, as I’m officially REINSTATING Kunoi Ishigami back into active competition. In fact, I’m even going to place him in the main event next week, as he will face XIU SHIELDS’ on the next episode of Massacre.

Bob: Oh Great… after what happened at the April Fools Day show… Kunoi’s been fuming.

Ralph: And Kunoi doesn’t seem like the type who would let something go… even after FIVE MONTHS. He’s crazy. =(

Sasa: And Kunoi… I hope you win that match. =3

Everyone: O_o?

Sasa: I want you to enjoy your last time ever winning a contest inside this Arena, because at the next pay per view, CYBERSLAM VIII-

*The crowd EXPLODES at the mentioning of a new Pay Per View on the horizon!*

Sasa: You will be defending your championship TWICE in one night!!!

Ralph: And folks, that’s two less than Kunoi had to go through at the last Cyberslam… o_o

Bob: Indeed. Sasa must be going soft.

Sasa: And sure, I know what you idiots here in the arena and at home are thinking! BUT SASA, YOU PUT HIM AGAINST FOUR PEOPLE AT THE LAST CYBERSLAM AND HE WON ALL OF THEM, INCLUDING A BOXING MATCH WITH YUGO! YEAH WELL THOSE FOUR PEOPLE HE FOUGHT WERE EMBARRASSMENTS TO THE UCTF.

*The collective eyes of the fans begin to widen as Sasa’s calm, happy go lucky demeanor quickly deteriorates…*

Sasa: NO… … e_e no this time Kunoi. You’re GOING to lose. You’re GOING to be embarrassed, because these two proved themselves not to be total failures at Ultimate Massacre II!

Bob: Was that a compliment?

Sasa: >=D Come on out.

*”We Don’t Care Anymore” by Story of the Year begins first, bringing out one half of the UCTF Tag Team Champions, X-23!*

Bob: And here comes the woman who went through her own tag team partner, Bat-Girl, Marcella Grace and finally, Leona to win the 2008 UCTF Strong Woman Championship!

Ralph: That match with Leona was brutal…

*Once X-23 climbs into the ring, “Hanyou Inuyasha” begins playing next! Out walks the Half-Breed Dog Demon who holds both the Weaponmaster and Intergalactic Championship titles!*

Bob: And Inuyasha, who defeated Xamot, Gideon, and finally vanquishing his rival, Raven Darc in the finals to claim the UCTF Strong Man Championship!

Ralph: This guy scares the crap out of that entire locker room, Bob. He’s almost indestructible!

*The Strong Man and Woman stand in the ring, arms folded while Sasa Dark slowly steps in between them.*

Sasa: YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE END OF KUNOI ISHIGAMI’S UCTF GRAND CHAMPONSHIP RUN! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Ralph: I’ll admit, it’s not looking good at all.

Sasa: For proving that I’m not completely wasting the money I’m paying you both on a weekly basis, I am honoring you both by presenting these NEW AND IMPROVED Strong person trophies, as well as a Grand Championship match at Cyberslam VIII. Great Job! ^_^

*A close up of the trophy shows that SASA’S FACE has been carved on the statue.*

Bob: Are you KIDDING me?

*Sasa motions towards the aisle and out comes Senior Official Guy Lombardo rushing to the ring. Reiji, who produces a coin from his pocket, tosses the coin over to the referee. Guy gives the coin a good looking over before signaling to Sasa that it’s alright.*

Sasa: Here’s how it will work. Kunoi will face the winner of this coin toss. If that ugly Japanese son of a bitch SOMEHOW managed to win his match up against the first opponent, then he will go on to face the second opponent at the end of the Pay Per View. If heads hits, Kunoi will take on X-23 first, and if Tails, he will face off against dog boy here. So let’s get the coin toss under way!

*Guy Lombardo flips the coin, allowing it to fall back onto the carpeted canvas.*

Sasa: …..

Fans: …..

Guy: IT’S HEADS!

Bob: And there we go! Kunoi Ishigami will take on X-23 first at UCTF: Cyberslam VIII!

Ralph: Is that good or bad for Kunoi?

Bob: Well, X-23 proved that she is a superior fighter in the UCTF, but did you see what Inuyasha did to Raven Darc!? That guy’s only defeat in this company came because it took FIVE people in a concerted effort to take him out of the match!

Sasa: And just to prove I am a fair man, at Cyberslam, Inuyasha, I will place you in a match of equal competition… In fact, just for the fun of it, on the next edition of Massacre, The number one contenders will duel when The Dog Demon, Inuyasha will take on X-23 in a non title match!

Bob: O_o wow.

Ralph: I know. You’d think Sasa would stack the deck against Kunoi, but…

*Sasa’s mood quickly darkens AGAIN…*

Sasa: And for the rest of you idiots here in the UCTF, Cyberslam is going to be a VERY VERY BAD DAY FOR ALL OF YOU E_E. THE REMAINING ROSTER WILL COMPETE IN A LITTLE CONCEPT CALLED “THE SASA DARK APPRECAITION TOURNAMENT!”

Bob: Oh God! He’s been teasing that for months! WHAT IS IT?!

Ralph: nothing good, Bob. I can tell you that right now that it’s nothing good.

Sasa: Thank you everyone and have a good night! ^___^!

*Sasa’s music hits once more as he retreats to the back with his bodyguard in tow.*

Ralph: I’m beginning to suspect that he’s bi-polar.

Bob: That would explain a lot… Oh, and also the fact that he’s just a blatant asshole. I mean, he was speaking as if Kunoi is going to waltz right past X-23. I seriously don’t see that happening!

*X-23 and Inuyasha, opponents for next week, and POTENTIAL opponents for Cyberslam give each other a parting glare before the tag team champion leaves the ring. Inuyasha prepares to leave as the ring crew rushes down to tear down the decorated sections of the ring, but something out of the corner of his eye catches him.*

Inuyasha: …

*The dog demon reaches down and picks up the coin that was used in the toss. He slowly flips it over to reveal a SECOND head!*

Crowd: O_O

Bob: OH WHAT THE HELL?!

Ralph: Two sided coin? …That SHITTY Referee Guy Lombardo lied!

Bob: What did you expect!? What is Sasa doing?! He purposely put X-23 in the first match with Kunoi!

Arzie: Ladies and gentlemen, the following matchup is scheduled for one fall… introducing first already in th ring, the winner of the TXI Federation Tournament and the one who destroyed an entire arena in Lansing, Michigan… ROCK HARD RRRRIIIICCCC AUUUUSSSTTTIIINNN!!!

Ralph: The first match of Massacre is now going to be underway!

Bob: Ric Austin against a newcomer to the UCTF!

Ralph: NOOO!!! GOD NOO!!! X_x

Bob: ….. The more I see Ric Austin, the more I’m beginning to understand your pain… o_o

Ric: e_e *raises arm*

*Then ‘Eternal Gravestones’ by composers Naoshi Mizuta and Nobuo Uematsu blares from the speakers, prompting the UCTF’s newest fighter Blu De’Ragnarok to walk down the ramp toward the ring. The crowd barely shows any interest, as fighters need to earn their popularity among the fans around here. Funnily enough, both fighters have their faces covered; Ric with his mask and Blu with his veil.*

Ralph: He looks like he’s from one of those Allah Ackbar places. o_O

Bob: Ralph, don’t insult those people! Do you want your head chopped off?! >=|

Ralph: What if he’s not Muslim?

Bob: SO WHAT IF HE’S NOT?!

Arzie: And his challenger, from the land of Aht Urghan… he is the mage BLLLUUUUU DEEEE’RAAGGNAROOOKKK!!!!

*The mage steps into the ring, and then pulls out his two swords, the Tizona and the Beastslayer, both with DMG 42… which could be either good or bad, depending on Ric’s health points. Um… Ric Austin has health points? Oh never mind.*

*DING!*

Blu De’Ragnarok vs Ric Austin

Ric: Woah woah, this is no damn Weaponmaster match here! I DIDN’T SIGN MY CONTRACT TO DO THIS–… oh fuck it. e_e

*Ric Austin begins the match by charging straight for the well-dressed blue mage! That proves to be a bad mistake as Blu counters with a nasty Fast Blade, cutting slashes through Ric’s body! Ric’s health points drop 50 points! Before Ric can even recover, Blu continues on the onslaught with a Red Lotus Blade attack, scorching Ric to a burnt crisp and sending him high in the air! And since Blu’s just beginning this, he executes the Spirit’s Within as he jumps to Ric’s level in mid-air, striking him continiously and then follows it up with a Vorpal Blade! He’s not even finished yet as he does the Expiacion, which provokes an Aftermath spell upon hit, giving Blu an accuracy bonus! Exactly how one can tell someone’s accuracy has improved by a point or by a loss of a point… no one really knows! What do you think this is, a RPG VIDEO GAME?! Oh wait…*

Ric: X___X!!

Bob: Blu is off to an impressive start here!

Ralph: *watches YouTube videos instead*

Bob: Ralph! Focus on the match! e_e

Ralph: This guy is confusing, so I’m looking at YouTube videos to figure out his moves. o_o

Bob: *sighs* ~_~

*Blu with his overly-complicated moveset simply waits for Ric’s body to land with a THOOOM, and then his hands start to burn as he chants a spell!*

Bob: Ric’s gonna be in a world of hurt here!

Ralph: Yeah and…?

Ric: *cough* *cough* Is that all? e_e I had a tiger run into my apartment and I survived that… bring it!

Blu: e_e

*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!*

*Blu goes through his looooong list of spells, starting with… a Blastbomb! The ring becomes engulfed in flames like Andre Tau has just showed up, and then Blu chants a Bomb Toss, sending Ric’s flaming body into the air again! Then a Pinecone Bomb (which is a piercing spell), a Death Scissors spell, a Helldive spell, Blood Saber, and finally… a MP Drainkiss! But… there’s one problem with that last spell…*

Ric: *HAS NO MAGIC POINTS IN THE FIRST PLACE*

Blu: o_o

Ralph: Um… get out of the way, blue magic guy… o_o

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!*

Crowd: OOOOOOHHH!!!! o_<

*Blu had sent Ric high in the air with that many spells in the combination… but is so surprised by the lack of effect from the MP Drainkiss that he forgets to step out of the way as Ric drops and SLAMS down onto Blu’s body! Ric’s body bounces several times before resting on top of Blu!*

Referee: o_o…. Oh! ONE… TWO….

*KICKOUT!!!*

Ralph: OH MAN! ALMOST GOT AN UPSET THERE!!

Bob: Blu has just kicked out of a potientally embarrassing loss there!

Blu: *coughs and staggers up to stand*

Ric: x____x

Blu: Ugh… my health points are low…

*Blu chants the Healing Breeze spell… and since the Referee is within the immediate area of the effect, he suddenly feels… more healthy!*

Referee: WTF? I FEEL GREAT! ^___^

Ralph: ……

Bob: wat

*However Blu sees Ric standing up! He takes several steps back, amazed by how Ric could withstand that much punishment!*

Ric: e_x…

*Ric charges for an attack! Blu prepares for another spell but Ric beats him to the punch, literally! He starts to pound onto the mage, whose spells are almost to a desperately depleted point! Blu collapses to the corner of the ring, where Ric continues to punch him on the face, chest, stomach and then mudstomps him when Blu gets to the ground!*

Bob: Ric’s giving him a beating there!

Ralph: He’s certainly gaining a lot of confidence since winning that TXA thing. o_o

Bob: This is Ric Austin we’re talking about… just wait a bit, he’ll be on the losing end again. e_e

*Ric is THROWN BACK when Blu engulfs himself with lightning and undergoes the Thunder Impaction Skillchain! What consistutes this skillchain? HELL IF I KNOW, I DON’T PLAY THE GAME AND EVEN THE WIKI FOR IT IS CONFUSING. Ric once again flies high up in the air, smoke trailing from his ass… and since the Arena is OPEN-AIR… he just keeps on flying higher and higher, wishing that there’s a Dallas Cowboys Big-Screen to stop his ascent! But alas there isn’t one, and finally gravity takes over and Ric starts to fall!*

Ric: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*A Ric Austin-sized crater is in the center of the ring!!*

Blu: o_x….

Ref: o_o……. um, ring the bell.

*DING DING DING*

Bob: And Blu De’Ragnarok wins his first match against Ric Austin!

Ralph: Big woop. e_e

Winner: Blu De’Ragnarok

*The programming halts for a few moments while the ring crew has to remove Ric Austin from the ring, while another set repairs the canvas that was destroyed thanks to Austin’s bulbous body crashing through the canvas. THANKS A LOT BLU! Finally, once everything has been corrected, the ring announcer returns to the center of the ring…*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall…

*Arzie’s line prompts the song “Eclipsed” by Evans Blue to chime up, which can only mean one thing…*

Ralph: Oh Crap!

*Ralph’s sentiment is echoed from the capacity crowd, because HE’S back! That’s right, the Russian Military Energy Vampire, DIMITRI has returned to the UCTF!*

Arzie: Introducing first, making his return to UCTF competition… DIIIMMIIITRRRIIIII!!

Bob: Dimitri has resurfaced after vanishing from UCTF programming for more than two years!

Ralph: Last time I saw him, Andre Tau had beaten the crap out of him in the back stage area right before his match up with Kunoi Ishigami! Which reminds me, where the hell is Andre?

Bob: Hell if I know!

*Regardless, Dimitri has returned, and is here to do battle against a man he’s already defeated once in a UCTF ring. The foreboding theme, “Forever Torment” begins playing next as the lights around the UCTF Open Air Arena de-illuminates into darkness…*

Arzie: And his opponent…

Ralph: Last time these guys fought, Dimitri pretty much embarrassed Xamot. You think the big guy is still angry?

Arzie: Hailing from the BA-O_O OH SHIT!!

*The demon swoops into the ring directly in front of Arzie! The ring announcer scurries out of harms way as fast as his legs will take him while the demon grabs the unsuspecting Dimitri around the face. Xamot quickly plows the Energy sucking Vampire into the corner! The sound of The Russian’s body’s impact into the corner, followed the sounds of screws and bolts snapping under the impact, which lead into the ring ropes quickly loosening and falling to the ground. The corner of the ring itself gives way, as the steel BEAM holding it’s end of the ring together falls over like a tree, just BARELY missing the crowd, thanks to the barrier!*

Bob: I would say yes!

Ralph: I bet Arzie is SO happy he decided to wear dark colored pants today! Xamot almost destroyed the entire ring with Dimitri’s head!

!!DING DING DING!!

Dimitri vs. Xamot

*But even after a powerful sneak attack such as the one Xamot delivers, the Energy Vampire shrugs off the attack like the badass he is, before flashing a sinister smirk!*

Dimitri: Hello Xamot. Missed me?

*He quickly retaliates with an uppercut to Xamot’s chin! This powerful punch, coupled with his Psi-Vampiric powered ‘Exhausting Touch,” Xamot is sent flying! Airborne following the terrifying uppercut, the demon flips backwards before gently landing on the opposing side of the squared circle. Even more enraged, Xamot’s demonic ki begins to permeate. From which, he begins to mould his dark ki into the forms of sharks.*

Xamot: MAKO STRIKE!

Bob: Xamot sends his Mako strike into a feeding frenzy!

*Leaping over the frenzy of energy sharks, Dimitri plays right into Xamot’s hand who follows up with a wave of dark energy. It connects, sending Dimitri into the first row of fans. Now, The fans know that the buying a first row ticket to a UCTF event is almost asking to die, but to be there when Xamot’s fighting and has his targets set in your direction?? And even worse…*

Dimitri: I forgot how tasty your energy was Xamot. How’s about a little more?

Fans: D:!!!

*Dimitri is ASKING for it! Xamot growls as he gathers energy for his Nile Star, and many fans begin to wisely make their exit from the danger area. Well, almost, all of them. One unfortunate slow poke manages to be caught in the grasp of Dimitri, as he launches the poor bastard into the on coming ki attack!*

Bob: OH GOD! OH DEAR GOD!!

Ralph: o_o Wow. Haven’t seen a good Fan incineration in a while.

*The spraying of human bits distracts Xamot just for the tiny FRACTION of a second Dimitri needed to advance within range to once again utilize the Exhausting Touch. The powerful energy draining technique staggers Xamot just from being in the VACINITY of the attack, and Dimitri capitalizes on his newly acquired advantage by flooring the demon with a BEAAAUTIFUL jumping kick.*

Dimitri: Got ya. >=)

Bob: XAMOT DOWN!

Ralph: oh come on, The bastard absorbs his energy attacks! He absorbs physical attacks!

*The demon has to think fast or risk having all of his energy sapped from his current body. And with Dimitri latched on top of him attempting his “Restrainer” technique, Xamot only has one option at this point. Xamot takes flight with a Russian latched onto his back!*

Bob: XAMOT GOES UP!

Ralph: This might end badly for Dimi-

*Xamot quickly switches directions and speeds towards the Earth like a Meteor!*

Dimitri: oh sh-

Crowd: *TURNS HEAD*

Ralph: Well what was left of that ring is pretty much scraps right now…

Bob: And that move alone could have changed the course of this contest!

Ralph: Uhh.. Did you see the part where Dimitri broke the ring with his head?

*Ralph is correct, however, falling from a ridiculous height at terminal velocity is no picnic! Dimitri remains motionless for the time being, which finally gives Xamot his first major advantage in this contest, and he’s not willing to give it away that easily…*

Xamot: …RISE!

*The former champion calls forth the souls of his many victims who quickly latch themselves onto the Russian, holding him down for their master Xamot, who slowly ascends above the arena… His previous expression of frustration now erased, his trademark, sadistic smirk has returned, as now he has Dimitri in the perfect position to finish him off!*

Xamot: ahahahaha AHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU’RE FINISHED!

Ralph: oh crap.

Xamot: MEGALAAAAAAAADOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!

*Xamot’s ultimate ki attack levels the remaining pile of metal that was once the ring and obliterates it, along with the souls of his damned victims and Dimitri himself! The ki from the blast spreads out upon impact, causing the entire Arena to shake at it’s very foundation!*

Bob: NO ONE gets up from that attack! I think Dimitri might be within moments of his first one on one loss here in the UCTF!

Ralph: o_o Not if the Referee got killed in that blast.. then I’d assume this would be a no contest.

*The Billowing smoke from the impact of the attack fills the arena, as Fans struggle to return to their seats…*

Ralph: uh oh..

Bob: what?

Ralph: too much smoke. I’ve watched enough Anime to know that THIS isn’t ever good!

*And Ralph is right once again, because as the smoke dissipates, one thing becomes increasingly clear, it will take A LOT more than that to knock out The Russian.*

Dimitri: ugh.. Not bad.

Everyone: D:!!

Ralph: *MOUTH DROPS*

Bob: The Russian is STANDING after that attack! He’s worse for wear, but he’s seems to be doing just fine.

Dimitri: Now.. IT’S MY TURN!

Xamot: D:!

*The Russian draws his hands in the same manner as his nemesis just a few moments earlier, and begins to call upon his newly acquired demon powers!*

Bob: Don’t tell me he’s going to-

Dimitri: MEGALADONNNN!!!!

Ralph: HE IS!

*Xamot is bombarded with his very on super ki blast attack, and though it lacks the same amount of force that the Demon’s, it’s MORE than enough to finish off the already battle worn Xamot who know slowly falls to the area where the ring USED to be!*

Bob: Xamot is down!

*Another referee rushes to the scene following the blast, and it’s simply elementary. Xamot ain’t getting up anytime soon!*

Ref: o_o Ring it!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: It’s over! Dimitri’s singles undefeated record remains intact after an impressive finish!

Winner: Dimitri

*Following the match, EMTs rush to carry the unconscious demon to the back. Meanwhile, the ring crew rushes to begin construction of a new squared circle. Dimitri, however, remains in the same spot, with his arms still clasped together.*

Crew member: uhh.. sir? O_o

Dimitri: I think I put a little too much into that atta—

*The Russian’s passes out mid-sentence before landing face first on the broken concrete below.*

Everyone: o_o….

Ralph: I hope the EMTs brought another gurney…

*After another break, we return to the action, with Good ol’ Arzie The Ring announcer standing in the center of the newly built structure…*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is our featured contest of the evening!

*Story of the Year’s “We Don’t Care Anymore” begins playing following Arzie’s short monologue…*

Arzie: Introducing first… hailing from Gotham City, she is one half of the UCTF’s Tag Team Champions… BAAAAAAAATTT-GIRRRLLLL!!!

Bob: Bat-Girl makes his way down the aisle, fresh off of her RAZOR THIN loss against her very tag team partner at the Only The Strong Tournament many months ago. Will she avenge that loss tonight?

Ralph: Considering her opponent is a 300lb tub of lard… I’d say, yeah.

Have Mercy On Me… A Sinner.

*Speaking of the Devil, out walks the UCTF’s greatest World Champion! And he has a surprise for everyone in attendance!*

Arzie: And her opponent… weighing in tonight at TWO-HUNDRED AND FIVE POUNDS…

Everyone: D:!

*That’s right! The Steve Wilkos pep talk worked! Lo-Ruhamah is down to his fighting shape! Along with his weight, he’s shed his ice cream stained clothing and is back to wearing his Metrosexual attire with a renewed look of determination on his face!*

Arzie: He is the former UCTF World Champion… The Unloved one, LOOOOO-RUHAMAHHHHH!!!

Ralph: …well I’ll be damned. e_e

Bob: Wow, this begs the question Ralph, if he was able to lose that much weight in a matter of months, how haven’t you lost any weight in 11 years?!

Ralph: I’M HAPPY WITH MY WEIGHT. e_e

!!DING DING DING!!

Bat-Girl vs. Lo-Ruhamah

*Somewhere in the Midwest of the United States, Steve Wilkos watches the action from his television set, trying his best to hold back a tear.*

Steve: ;_; Thattaboy, Lo… Thattaboy…

*The action starts off quickly back at the UCTF complex with the “All Business” Bat-girl quickly charging Lo-Ruhamah! The Unloved one parries away several of his female opponent’s strikes, before returning fire with a wild, chi-powered slap attempt. Bat-Girl manages to avoid having her chest lit up, Ric Flair style by rolling under it. Lo stumbles a few feet forward when he hits all air, while Bat-Girl charges into the ropes before allowing them to spring her back towards the center of the ring.*

Lo: e_e!

*Lo spins around and catches the flying Bat in the face with a holy punch that sends the tag team champion upside down!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOHHH!!

Bob: Big Haymaker by the Former World Champion!

Ralph: Well he’s got his speed back… Remember when that Momoiro girl beat him?

Bob: unfortunately!

*The Unloved one quickly pulls Bat-girl back to her feet by the arm, before attempting to twist her over into the Purgatory Whip! He’s not quick enough, however, as Cassandra slips out of the arm lock attempt! She ends up behind the now prone Lo and PUNISHES his error with her Handstand Frankensteiner technique!*

Bob: BEAUTIFUL reversal! Ruhamah bounces off of his hea-HE’S BACK UP O_O

*Lo completely NO SELLS being tossed to his head and charges forward with a chi powered Lariat in tow! Bat-Girl wisely ducks the decapitation attempt and punishes the former Champion with a shuffle side kick before following quickly with quick boxing strikes to soften up Lo’s midsection…*

Ralph: Lo’s new rock hard abs are being put to the test right now!

Bob: o_o……

Ralph: What?!

Bob: and I’m supposed to be the gay one…

*She finishes the combo off with a BIG rising knee that knocks Lo CLEAR on his back in the center of the ring!*

Bob: Lo’s down early in the contest!

*Cassandra leaps into the air. She continues her assault on Lo, never giving him a second to recover by raining down what HAS to be an endless supply of batterangs from the heavens! Lo rolls and dives the tiny metal bats until one finally meets his mark, causing a tear in his beloved tuxedo!*

Lo: …

Ralph: aww shit!

Lo: >=|! YOU BITCH! THIS IS THE TUXEDO I WORE WHEN I WON THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE FIRST TIME! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS COST?! HAAAAAAAA!!!!

*Now VERY pissed, Lo manifests ki from the tips of his fingers to his elbows before charging towards Bat-Girl!*

Ralph: This ain’t good for Gotham puppies!

*Now moving double his normal speed, Lo delivers a vicious string of punches in which Bat-Girl attempts valiantly to defend! However, the new surge of chi energy is too much for even the trained assassin to handle, and she is sent crashing into the corner! Lo mounts the downed superhero and continues his vicious chi laden assault! Punch after punch find their way into the jaw of his opponent!*

Bob: Ok Ref! You’re going to have to make a decision here in a second if she can’t answer!

Ralph: This isn’t UFC, asshole! Stop with that mercy crap!

*Ralph is right, as JUST when things looked too much for the Caped Crusader, she pulls a miracle right out of her utility belt! Catching a punch from Ruhamah, Cassandra quickly slaps a bat-cuff over his wrist, followed by slapping the other cuff to the bottom rope! Bat-girl slips through Lo’s legs, leaving the former World Champion chained and helpless!*

Lo: What the?!

Ralph: Where does she get such wonderful toys?!

Bob: I don’t know but she’s leaving the ring and going on the apron.. whatever she’s thinking about, it can’t be good for Lo!

Bat-Girl: RRARRGGHH!!

*Lo, just as helpless as he can be can only watch in horror as Cassandra LEVELS him in the face with a springboard dropkick from ALL THE WAY across the ring!*

!!POP!!

Crowd: OOOOOOHHHH!!

*Lo collapses on the bottom rope before his body slowly falls to the canvas below!*

Ralph: that was one HELL of a kick!

Bob: I’m not surprised if Lo is unconscious from a SICKENING blow to the skull like that!

*Fighting through the pain, Lo proves his toughness by pulling himself back into the ring! He’s not doing himself any favors, however, as Cassandra Cain stands in the corner, patiently awaiting her opponent! She opens up on him again, delivering a string of punches and kicks to the helpless opponent in the corner!*

Bob: Now the roles have completely reversed! Lo needs to find a way to get himself out of this pinch before the referee calls this one!

Ralph: ASLD;FKJADS;LF DAMNIT BOB! THIS ISN’T THE UFC! STOP IT!

*And again, Ralph is right! Lo’s foot manages to find it’s way into Bat-Girl’s chest and he throws EVERYTHING he’s got behind the thrust that sends her rolling all the way across the ring! Now with only a few moments of solitude, Lo powers up his free hand with chi energy…*

Lo: HOLY… PUNCH!

*Screaming the name of his attack for pure dramatic effect, Lo Holy Punches THROUGH the titanium fiber Bat-cuff!*

Bob: Impressive strength by the Former World Champion, freeing himself from his predicament!

Ralph: I told you! >=|

*A quick, yet intense stare down commences by both parties before they charge each other! Bat-Girl swings a haymaker which is ducked! Lo wraps his arms around Cassandra’s waist from behind! He throws all of his weight backwards, hitting a german suplex! He rolls over, lifts her back up and hits a second! He rolls and lifts her up, and she blocks the third suplex attempt! An elbow to the neck breaks the hold, followed by a stiff roundhouse to the face! Batgirl then attempts to flip Lo over, who blocks the attempt, lifts HER into the air and delivers a devastating body slam in the center of the canvas!*

Bob: The pendulum continues to swing here as momentum is shifting all over the place!

*Lo quickly raises his arms into the air while speaking a quick incantation that causes Bat-Girl’s body to float from the ground…*

Ralph: Not good!

Bob: indeed! Lo’s going for his magical submission maneuver, “Surrender Your Soul!”

*Bat-Girl, having prepped for this EXACT moment, cancels the submission technique by tossing ALL of her smoke bombs into the center of the ring before Lo can fully focus his attack! The entire ringside area becomes obscured from the billowing smoke coming from the squared circle!*

Bob: PERFECT timing with those smoke bombs there by Bat-Girl! And now Lo-Ruhamah is in trouble! With no idea where his opponent is, the ninjitsu trained Bat-Girl has the advantage!

*From the shadows, Cassandra Cain pounces from the top rope towards Lo-Ruhamah…*

Lo: e_e MY TURN!! HAAAA!!!

!!FLOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*Avens’ body burns a brilliant white light, instantly blinding Bat-Girl in midflight! The aura is so powerful it instantly destroys the smoke from Bat-Girls weapon, which leaves the tag team champion defenseless to a STIFF kick to the stomach*

Bob: LIGHT FOR THE BLIND!

Ralph: Not only that, but…

*Lo locks Bat-Girl’s arms with an underhook! Throwing his leg behind him, Lo swings it back forward to gain a massive amount of momentum to hit his double underhook DDT!*

Ralph: BAM!!

Bob: Lo plants the poor woman in the center of the ring with a DISGUSTING DDT! And up he goes to the top rope! This could spell the end of this match-up!

*Lo, now ascended on the top turnbuckle, turns his back to his opponent, while charging his body with more light energy…*

Bob: I think we’re going to see the-

*He leaps backwards, hitting the PICTURE PERFECT Moonsault in the center of the ring!*

Bob: FINAL JUDG-

*The moment he lands on top of Bat-Girl, the resourceful superhero uses all of Lo’s momentum against him, rolling her and himself over into a MIRACLE small package! The referee is in PERFECT position!*

Bob: BAT-GIRL REVERSES INTO A SMALL PACKAGE OUT OF NO WHERE!

Ref: 1…. 2…… 3!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Ralph: WHAT THE HELL?!

Bob: BAT-GIRL GETS THE PIN! UNBELIEVABLE!

*Lo kicks out of the pinfall attempt at 3.000000000001 seconds and is on his knees with a look of exasperation on his face! Bat-Girl lays motionless after what many will consider as a MIRACLE pin after Lo-Ruhamah had a commanding lead in the match!*

Lo: D:!!

Arzie: The winner of this match…. BATTT-GIRRLLLL!!!

Crowd: *POPS!*

Winner: Bat-Girl

*Lo slowly stands up…*

Lo: o_o..

Bob: That was one hell of a performance by both participants! Bat-Girl proves she can get it done in the singles division of the UCTF and Lo has proven that he is BACK and Better than ev— OH WAIT!!

*Lo leaps to the top rope in a single bound and hits the FINAL JUDGMENT a second time on Bat-Girl!*

Crowd: …BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Bat-Girl: X_X

Lo: *FLIPS EVERYONE OFF* @_@!!!

Ralph: o_o umm.. Ok. Lo Really IS back.

Bob: x_x… for Ralph Gerrard, this is Bobby Hinden saying goodnight.

*As the cameras fade from tonight’s events, Sasa Dark stands in his darkened office overlooking Anime City.*

Sasa: a.. alright. I did ask you asked. Everyone’s going to be here. The Entire Roster. Now remember our part of the deal.

*As Dark figure standing the shadows of the office cracks a smile on his face.*

Excellent, Sasa. Do not worry, I keep my word. For this, you will be rewarded handsomely.

End.

Continue

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Continue

*The screen comes to life, panning along the dirtied concrete of a sidewalk. It’s night, and a few clouds of vapor rise from the streets. The lower half of a brick wall is seen, on which appears the shadow of a man. His feet come into the shot, walking with the camera. He stops, and the shot pans upward to see a large plate-glass window with some sort of advertisement on it. The only word visible, however, is ‘Competition.’ A few guitar riffs are heard. The shot switches to that of an aluminum bat slowly being raised, the UCTF logo emblazoned on the shaft. A close-up on the pair of hands, tightening their grip on the bat’s handle. Again the shot changes to behind the man, swinging the bat into the window. Just as the bat makes contact, the percussion kicks in. Shards of glass fly everywhere in slow motion, each reflecting the faces of the UCTF roster. We watch the shards for a moment, before a visible shockwave goes flying through the cloud, the store, and blowing a hole through the back wall to the ally beyond.

Vapor pours over the asphalt, bright red and blue beams strafes through the mist as police sirens are heard from far off. 6 young men are highlighted from behind by strobe lights, as the camera pulls back, then zooms in on Epic and Shifty, aka Bret Mazur and Seth Brooks Binzer of Crazy Town, who shove their faces into the camera.*

*Shots of Pink Tsunami are projected onto the alleyway’s brick wall, posing, with Kunoi sneering at the audience.*

*A trashcan gets KICKED into the air, and a slow-motion shot of the trashcan’s lid follows, Hystalin powering up projected on the inside.*

*Vegeta appears in between Epic and Shifty, decked out in a full-on suit. He POWERS THE HELL UP, blowing all the fog out of the alleyway as colored lights and more strobes start flashing.*

*The screen switches to scratchy replays of SSS vs Yugo in the 200 lightbulb match, Ed the Janitor getting nailed by the Westchester Bomb, Sasa Dark spitting into a microphone, and then Johnny Cockring waving around a number of papers.*

*Aisha gets the spotlight now, balling up and hitting a Ctarl Roll Attack on somebody.*

*It switches to an overhead shot of Crazy Town, the members wailing on their instruments, as a giant image William Clarke projects downward onto the street, SNAPPING and flying into a 540.*

*A low-to-the-ground shot is shaken by a two pairs of steel-toed books slamming into the asphalt right in front of the camera. Epic and Shifty bend down, getting into the camera again.*

*An angled view of Gene Starwind staring into the mirror, before grimacing and slamming his fist into the glass.*

*A tandem shot of every fighter letting loose with their trademark attack, as the screen shatters, the pieces falling away to show another up-in-the-air view of Crazy Town. The camera zooms down, images of each of the Title Belts superimposed on either side, until finally the PLATINUM Grand Title Belt appears.*

*"UCTF: Massacre" starts off with a HUGE pyro-technical explosion from the stage that trails through the entire Open Air Arena! As the new Massacre theme song "Think Fast" thumps through the PA system, the cameras pan through showing all of the UCTF Screaming Fans!*

Bob: Fresh off the Heels of UCTF: On Your Computer, This is UCTF: Massacre! I am Robert Hinden, and along side Ralph Gerrard!
Ralph: That was one hell of a Pay Per View.. I mean Countdown beat Andre Tau for the Anime Championship, We got a new Grand Champion in William Clarke and the best of all in my opinion.. YOU finally shut up SSS and got your Job back!
Bob: yeah well it was a great night for me indeed..

*Suddenly, "Watch Who U Beef Wit" Canibus begins playing over the sound system, and the crowd pops HUGE when The NEW UCTF GRAND CHAMPION William Clarke makes way onto the stage with the Platinum Grand Championship wrapped around his waist, and the Tag, World and Intergalactic belts hanging across each of his shoulders!*

Bob: And it looks like we’re starting off tonight’s show with the NEW UCTF Grand Champion!
Ralph: I thought that tournament would never end Bob.
Bob: A lot of people didn’t!

*The Champion climbs into the ring and holds all three titles into the air to a HUGE ovation from the crowd! Flash Photography runs amuck!*

Bob: William Clarke made HISTORY at On Your Computer! By winning the tournament, he has become not only the new Grand Champion, but the FIRST UCTF superstar to ever EVER attain Grand Slam Status! He has held every singles title the league’s had to offer including The Dustmaster, Anime Title, World Title, The Combined Interplanetary and Intergalactic Title and now, the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting League’s GRAND Championship, all this while holding onto that Tag Team Title belt you see hanging on his shoulder! There isn’t a damn soul who can say the same! We may be very well staring at the best this league has EVER seen!

Ralph: >_< Holy Crap… you’re REALLY back, dude.

Bob: hell yeah I am e_e

*We go back to the ring where William has all four belts stacked on one shoulder, with a microphone in the other hand! However, before he can start talking..*

Crowd: WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM!

Ralph: Man, they LOVE this kid!

*Allowing the fans to calm down.. William, not ever being one for words tries to speak..*

William: …. ya know. If anyone came up to me on Saturday, September 8th 2001 and told me that in two years and two months exactly, I would be standing in the middle of this ring as the UCTF Grand Champion, I would have probably laughed…. thrown up, or both.

Ralph: Oh boy, let’s try not to bring up that Will vs. NNNN match
Bob: At least it wasn’t as disastrous as The "Debut of 3 Live Crew"
Ralph: … yeah…

*William takes a look at the title that reads "UCTF Grand Champion – William Clarke"

William: But here I am.. standing here on the top of the mountain in the UCTF. I just wanted to come out here and say.. You and I, fans of the UCTF.. we’ve had our ups and downs through my entire career. You cheered me during my fueds with Ethan Rice, Seth Conway, Kunoi Ishigami.. You booed me during my "stint" with Pink Tsunami, and when I lost my temper just a few weeks ago in an interview segment with Yugo Ogami. But Either way, I know in my heart of hearts that I’ve entertained you all. And I would have NEVER been able to achieve this much success without you fans sitting out there in the audience, and everyone sitting at home watching on Television.

*The crowd gives a HUGE pop to this and begin the chant once again!*

Crowd: WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM! WILL-IAM!

Ralph: What did THEY do? He was the one kicking everyone’s ass!
Bob: Ralph, shutup.

William: I’m sorry, I’m was never one to come out here and cut a five star promo.. what I’m trying to say is, from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank all of you for making me who I am toda–

*Before William can deliver his heart felt thank you to the fans of the UCTF, "Oasis" by Gackt kicks up! That can only mean one thing.. one really BAAAD thing.. That’s right. Vegeta, our loving President of the UCTF makes his way from the back, along side the towering former TWO Time Intergalactic Champion, Raven Darc! William and Raven have met several times before, and trust me, there’s no love lost between either of two!*

Bob: What the heck is this!?!?
Ralph: You’re asking me?! I don’t even know what the line up is for tonight!

*Vegeta stays out in the aisle-way with a microphone in his hand..*

Vegeta: I apologize for interrupting you Mr. Clarke. But I found this to be the best opportunity to come out here and address the fans on a number of issues that this league has been facing over the last few months…

Bob: What?! This is HIS show! He could have come out anytime he wanted to, to make these announcements!
Ralph: I think he did Bobby!
Bob: You know what I mean! e_e He’s interrupting someone who never asks for mic time! Someone who just won the most coveted prize we have!

Vegeta: You see, back on April 1st 2003 we had an event which involved Matt Hardy, Crash Holly (RIP) and Shannon Moore.. a certain game show.. and a HORSE transpire on stage. The FCC decided that it was too much, and after years of Milk and Honey, VG matches, BLANK on a pole matches.. they had had just TOO much of the UCTF.. and immediately pulled us from television. It took months, lots of hard work, and threatening of bodily harm, but I was able to get the UCTF back on their regular time spot, and for that, you can thank me later. The UCTF is back and isn’t going anywhere. e_e

Ralph: See how much of a generous president he is?? THAT explains why I was laid off for freaking ever!
Bob: yeah. ~_~. But I think he did it for his own financial gain and not for the fans.

Vegeta: however, because of that leave of abscense, We’ve had to consolidate two of our biggest Pay Per Views.. Usually we have two separate pay per views.. one being our Annual Only The Strong Event…

*The crowd pops HUGE for this..*

Vegeta: And secondly.. Our Biggest Pay Per View of the year.. Cyberslam.

*AN EVEN HUGER OVATION!*

Vegeta: Because of our time restraints.. this year, Cyberslam will also have our Yearly Only The Strong Competition. Right now, it looks like we’ll only be having our Men’s division, seeing as that all of our female competitors have ran away from active competition, but we will have that in four weeks none the less and will more than likely be our final PPV of the year.

Bob: *GLARES AT RALPH*
Ralph: WHAT DID I DO?!!?

Vegeta: Now.. for another piece of business. William. Clarke.

Bob: Ok, HERE WE GO!
Ralph: …

Vegeta: Let me take this opportunity to congratulate you on your victory. However… as I did some research over the last week.. I discovered … disturbing facts.

Bob: Oh great.. what’s he talking about..

Vegeta: Don’t think I don’t know about the "personal" problems you’ve been having over the last year William. Don’t think I don’t know you’ve had to seek counseling for the extreme "stress" you’ve been going through. Truth be told.. if I had known about your "condition" I would have never allowed you to fight against Gene in the finals last week at On Your Computer.. I’m NOT the type of guy who pushes his workers around and force them to fight even when they’re on the verge of a mental break down!

Bob: That’s BULLSHIT! He’s the EXACT type of guy who’d do that!
Ralph: Bob, what is he saying here, he’s not going to strip William of the..
Bob: I hope not.

William: …

Vegeta: No need to look at me that way William. I’m certainly not going to strip you of the Grand Championship Title.

Bob: whew…

Vegeta: But in no way you are in ANY shape to handle the work load of being FOUR champions at one time! Therefore.. William Clarke, I am here by stripping you of The UCTF World Championship, AND The UCTF Intergalactic Championship Titles! Raven.

Crowd: O_O… BOOO!!!

Bob: WHAT?!
Ralph: oh.. oh that’s gotta suck.
Bob: Of course that sucks! We all know what William’s capable of in the UCTF! If anyone can defend all of these titles, it would be HIM to do it! I think… I think the president is just JEALOUS!
Ralph: o_o!
Bob: THAT’S RIGHT. Jealous of the success this kid has gained in this federation! Jealous that even HE’S never done so much and he’s punishing our Grand Champion for it!
Ralph: Hey dude.. you beat SSS… you can’t beat a saiyan, shutup!
Bob: Well this isn’t Cuba or Iraq, I can say what I want! >=\

*Raven steps into the squared circle and slowly approaches William, who has a smile on his face. They stand off for a few seconds as the fans scream out obscenities for William to KILL the demon’s ass right then in there. However, William wants no trouble, and slowly hands over his World and Intergalactic titles to some MASSIVE heel heat! Raven walks backwards, and climbs out of the ring.*

Vegeta: I have already decided that TWO of tonight’s matches will determine these respective titles. The first match will be for the World Title involving a returning superstar who’s come back with a new attitude.. someone who’s even put my protégé on his ass TWICE since returning. And that would be Ethan Rice, facing off against someone who impressed me at the last Battle Royale.. Bryan Amethyst!

Bob: Bryan and Ethan will be for the WORLD TITLE now?!
Ralph: man, He’s making some serious executive decisions tonight!

Vegeta: And the second being for the Intergalactic Championship. One desperately wants to redeem herself for losing to the Fluke of the Universe, and the second, being the 2002 UCTF Strong Man. Seth "Suicide" Conway vs. Leona!

*The crowd pops HUGE for this! Not only is their american boy Suicide going for a title tonight, but the match is against two people who are in the very same STABLE!*

Vegeta: And William.. as far as the Grand Title goes.. Jeice was right. We’re above the Gold Standard. So why should you have to defend that title on FREE Television? That’s why I have taken it among myself to make the Grand Championship a.. PAY PER VIEW ONLY TITLE. Because of that AND Suicide fighting tonight.. I am giving YOU.. the NIGHT OFF!

*oh yeah.. the crowd is now SEETHING with Anger over that one!*

William: ~_~

Bob: ;LSDKFAS;DLK! WHAT IS HE DOING!?!?
Ralph: Pay Per View Only?! Holy Crap!
Bob: He knows William is a fighting champion! He knows that William would defend that title 24 hours a day if he wants to! What is he doing?!!?

Vegeta: Thank of it as a favor William! I know you’ve been going through a lot, and you NEED some time off! Go home and prepare for Cyberslam.. because I’ve already picked an opponent for you at the event. Someone who convinced me he was cheated twice out of the Grand Championship tournament, someone who’s wanted to put his hands on you since you stepped foot in the UCTF! And That man is…

*"Testing" starts BLARING over the speakers, drawing MASSIVE amounts of heel heat from the crowd! Shawn comes down to the ring in his street clothes of REALLY baggy jeans, and a blue tank top with his Superman style "S3" logo on it! Around his waist he has the Swordmaster title, and in one hand, he has a four-foot long lighttube!*

Ralph: I don’t believe this!
Bob: YEAH! I beat him at On Your Computer!!! >=| What’s HE doing getting a shot??

*As Shawn passes by Vegeta, he gives him a smirk, and a nod! But, as he passes Raven, he gives him a shove with his shoulder!*

Raven: e_e!

SSS: e_e…………….

*Shawn then slides into the ring, taking the mic from a crew member! It’s just him and William in the ring!*

Will: >=|…..

Shawn: e_e….

*Shawn sets the lighttube down on the ground, almost like he’s using it as a cane!*

Shawn: ….. What’s up William?

Will: e_e….

Shawn: *points with lighttube* Nice belt you got there.

Will: e_e……….

*Shawn pauses to give William a glare, and gets closer to him*

Shawn: But I need you to tell me something, William. DO YOU REALLY THINK you did something by beating Gene Starwind? DO YOU really think that Gene Starwind vs William Clarke is an approriate end to a nearly NINE MONTH PLUS Grand Title Tournament!?

*The crowd is booing like CRAZY at Shawn, but William isn’t moving an INCH*

Shawn: YOU knew, I knew, this WHOLE DAMN CROWD knew that Gene Starwind didn’t fucking belong in the finals of that tournament!! We ALL saw Gene cheat his way to the finals, AND he cheated against YOU!

*Shawn’s pulling MAJOR heat from the crowd!*

Shawn: OH, come on!! Don’t act surprised!! You all agree with me, you just don’t want to admit it!!

Crowd: o_o……

Shawn: e_e…. at any rate… William… TONIGHT, I’m going to prove that beating Gene Starwind is NOTHING. I went to Vegeta, who ALREADY had me booked against Melvic tonight, and asked him to book me against Gene!

Bob: what?!?
Ralph: HE asked for it!?

Shawn: That’s right, William!! You think you’re hot shit!? I’ll do what YOU did, and I’ll do you one BETTER. Because tonight… my match against Gene…

*He holds up the lighttube, looking at it, then looks back at Will*

Shawn: …will be an Electrified Lighttubes Match e_e

Crowd: o_o!!!! *POPS!*

Will: o_o…

Shawn: Yeah… boards with THESE things *holds up lighttube* on them, and the lighttubes LIT UP. >=|

Ralph: What’s he trying to prove?!
Bob: That he likes to get killed?

Shawn: I’ll show you tonight, William… I’ll show you that I can beat Melvic, AND Gene… and at Cyberslam….

*He gets in close to William!*

Shawn: …I’ll show you that I can beat you, William. I’ll show you that if I would’ve been in that tournament… you wouldn’t have even TOUCHED that belt.

*Shawn and William both stare each other down, before Shawn turns, and slides out of the ring! As he’s walking, he tosses the lighttube over the top rope at William!*

Will: >=|!!!

*William then just BUSTS out a thrust kick that shatters the lighttube in mid-air! As the shards fly into the aisle, Shawn gives him a cocky golf applause and walks to the back while "Testing" blares through the sound system!*

Ralph: This is ass backwards!

Bob: I KNOW! William gets two titles stripped from him, gets the night off, and can only defend on pay per views, where as SSS loses to ME and gets a title shot!?! Never the less, William Clarke, SSS in one of the most anticipated matches EVER. This is two years in the making folks, and it’s at Cyberslam! We’ll be right back with our first match!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your opening match here on our GLORIOUS return to Saturday nights!!!

Crowd: *HUGE POP!!!*

Arzie: Introducting first… From the Ctarl-Ctarl Empire…. weighing in at 120 pounds… here is AISHAAAAA CLAN CLANNN!!!!!

*"Midnight Mountain" is keyed up, drawing some heel heat from the crowd, as Aisha makes her way down to the ring! She has a slightly pissed look on her face, and yells at a few fans on her way down to the ring!*

Bob: Aisha, not exactly on the fan’s good side!

Ralph: Well, she cheated to help Gene win against Dan, AND against William, so of COURSE she’s gonna get shit on!

*She slides into the ring, STILL yelling at people!*

Arzie: And her opponent… Hailing from Manchester England… weighing in 106 pounds… THE HOLY WARRIOR MARCELLA GRACE!!!

*"Let Me Be Your Armor" starts up, drawing HUGE pops, especially from the guys! Marcella makes her way down to the ring, and slides in! Aisha, though, doesn’t even let her get up, and is RIGHT on her!*

*DING, DING, DING!!!*

Bob: And Aisha NOT waiting to start this!

*She stomps away at Marcella, then YANKS her up, tossing her sloppily into the corner! She WAILS away on Marcella, and LEAPS with a dropkick to the face! She flips back with it, then pounces on Marcella, punching away!*

*Marcella, though, manages to throw Aisha off of her, and Aisha goes BOUNCING to the mat! Aisha recovers, and springs to her feet, but walks RIGHT into a thrust kick from Marcella! Aisha practically FLIPS from it, and lands on her side!*

Bob: And Marcella fighting back here!

Ralph: Quick action from both women here!

*Marcella then STOMPS on Aisha’s back, grinding her heel into the small of her back! Aisha wrangles free, but Marcella just gives her a STIFF kick to the side, sending her rolling to the outside! Marcella slides out, giving chase as Aisha tries to pull herself up by the guardrail!*

Marcella: >=|!!

*Marcella picks up Aisha on her shoulder, then TOSSES her off, having her land NECK first on the guardrail!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!!

*Aisha rolls over, holding her neck! Marcella hoists her up, and whips her HARD into the guardrail! She even grabs Aisha by the head, and SLAMS her into it!*

Ralph: Aisha getting a BEATING here on the outside!

*Marcella gives Aisha a HARSH chop across the chest, before grabbing her to throw her back into the ring! But, Aisha RUNS up the apron, flips in mid-air, and CONNECTS with a dropkick to Marcella’s head, sending her FLIPPING over the guardrail and into the first row!*

Bob: WHOA!! o_o

Ralph: Where did THAT come from!?!?!

*Aisha takes a second to collect herself, then LEAPS right back up onto the apron! She jumps up onto the top rope, and bounces off, FLYING into the crowd, and onto Marcella!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!!!

Bob: OH MY GOD!!!

*The two go CRASHING into at LEAST the sixth row! Both are down, with fans all around them!*

Crowd: HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!!

*Both of them struggle to get up, but Marcella manages to get the upper hand! She throws Aisha HARD forward, and she goes crashing THROUGH the guardrail, and sprawled out on the floor! Marcella shakes her head, makes her way through the crowd, and throws Aisha into the ring!*

Marcella: e_e…..

*She then unsheathes her Rapier, and jumps at Aisha! Aisha, though, bares her claws, and manages to deflect Marcella’s swings with them! Marcells goes for a thrust, but Aisha LEAPS over it, and in doing so, wraps her legs around her neck, and hurricanranas her to the mat!*

Marcella: >_< !!!

Aisha: >:|!!!

*Aisha jumps UP onto the top rope and leaps off with a 450 splash! She covers!*

Ref: 1!….2!….

*But Marcella kicks out! Aisha doesn’t waste time, though, and picks up Marcella! Holding Marcella in front of her, Aisha runs UP the turnbuckle, and moonsaults off, slamming her to the mat!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!

Bob: HUGE show of strength AND agility by Aisha!

*Aisha stays on for the cover!*

Ref: 1!…. 2!….

*But Marcella kicks out AGAIN! Frustrated, Aisha picks up Marcella’s head, and SLAMS it down onto the mat!*

Aisha: e_e!!!

*Aisha puts Marcella in a sitting position, then grabs her from behind! Using her claws, she DIGS into Marcella’s forehead!*

Crowd: OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!

Marcella: AAUUGHHH!!!!!! X____X!!

Ralph: Oh my GOD!!

*Aisha throws Marcella down to the mat, who is now bleeding PROFUSELY from her forehead! Aisha picks her up, and throws her into the ropes! He grabs Marcella, and gives her an overhead suplex! As Marcella bounces off the mat, blood goes FLYING and splattering all over the mat!*

Bob: This is just getting SICK now! X_X

*Aisha, smirking, picks up Marcella, and hoists her up into a vertical suplex! She HOLDS her up in the air for a good TWENTY seconds, before bringing her down into a brainbuster on the mat!*

Crowd: OOOHH!!

*Aisha floats over, and covers!*

Ref: 1!…. 2!….

*KICKOUT!!! Aisha is PISSED now! She goes over, yells at the ref a bit, then picks up Marcella again! She picks her up onto her shoulders in a fireman’s carry, points to the turnbuckle, and starts to climb!*

Bob: What’s she doing!?

*Aisha gets up on the top, and goes to leap off with a Death Valley Driver! And when I say leap off, I mean she LEAPS off! Like, at LEAST 15 feet into the air!*

Ralph: Oh SHIIIIIIIII-

*But, in mid-air, Marcella starts to move! She maneuvers herself so that she’s got Aisha’s head cradled!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!

*Marcella lands FLAT on her face, but Aisha lands on her HEAD. Marcella had managed to reverse the DVD into a reverse flip SST! The crowd EXPLODES!!*

Crowd: HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!!

Bob: OH MY GOD!!! AISHA IS DOWN!!!! AISHA IS DOWN!!!

Ralph: AISHA IS DEAD!!! >=|!!!

*Marcella, using what little strength she has left, covers!*

Ref: 1!…. 2!….. 3!!!!

*DING, DING, DING!!!!*

Crowd: *HUGE POP!!!*

Arzie: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… YOUR WINNER OF THE MATCH….. MARCELLA GRACE!!!

Bob: AND MARCELLA GETS THE WIN!!!

*Marcella, wearing the "crimson mask" raises her hand in victory, before rolling out of the ring and staggering to the back!*

WINNER: Marcella Grace

*As EMTs help the catgirl return to her locker room, "Epic" by Faith No More is keyed up, drawing a mild amount of heel heat from the crowd, as Christina Callad makes her way out from the back and up to the commentary booth!*

Bob: And Ladies and Gentlemen… we’re being joined for this match by the proclaimed "Queen of Independendent Wrestling", Christina Callad!

Christina: *adjusts headset* Thank you SO much for having me here, Bobby Boy! ^_^

Ralph: Hey I a-

Christina: *glares at Ralph* e_e If it’s about my chest, I don’t wanna hear it. We ARE twenty feet up, Ralph.

Ralph: …..I’ll be quiet.

*Arzie climbs into the ring*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing first… hailing from "The Normal Suburbs of the Normal City of America…." weighing in at anywhere from 140 to 725 FUCKIN’ pounds…. THE SHAPE SHIFTING, GENDER SWITCHING "average teenager" ….. NATHAIEL WYSTAN!!!

*Nathaniel comes out to some generic rock song or whatever, to a mild pop from the crowd*

Bob: So, uh… Christina… What brings you here for this match?

Christina: I’m here to observe Switch’s match here tonight. After my match against her at On Your Computer, I wanna keep an eye on her and see if my win over her was a fluke or not!

Ralph: … or you just want to watch her get pummeled.

Christina: Yeah, that too. ^_^

*As Nathaniel slides into the ring…*

Arzie: And His opponent…. you can find her at your local dance club on the weekends… weighing in at 135 pounds…. HERE IS SWITCH AKAISUKOOOO!!!

*HUGE pop ensues, as Switch makes her way down to the ring, fully decked out like a NYC punk rocker! She’s got on some black and white striped socks, Doc Martein boots, black skirt, and a fishnet top over a sleeveless white baby t-shirt!*

Ralph: HELL-O!!!

Christina: *psssh* Show off. =\

*Switch waves to the crowd, and slides into the ring!*

*DING DING DING!!*

*Switch, STILL soaking in the cheers from the crowd, turns to wave as Nathaniel runs, and attacks her from behind! Switch, though, manages to recover quickly, and starts swinging back at him, cutting off his punches!*

Bob: So… Christina… having been in the ring with Switch, what do you think Nathaniel’s chances are against her?

Christina: Well… considering how new these two are to the ring… hm…

Bob: *short pause* Well? o_o

Christina: …I give this match three minutes before it becomes a series of bitchslaps and low blows.

Ralph: LOL!!

**ahem* Anyways… Switch manages to catch one of Nathaniel’s punches, and deflects it, then flowing with the move, and ramming her shoulder into his gut! Nathaniel goes down, and Switch bounces off the ropes, and does a 450 standing splash onto Nathaniel!*

Bob: Whoa! Big move early on by Switch!

Christina: She needs to watch herself. While Amazing Red might be able to get away with flipping like that, she’ll just tire herself out!

Ralph: …..who? o_O

*Switch covers Nathaniel, but Nathaniel kicks out at 1! Switch gets up to her feet, but gets tripped up by Nathaniel, and he drops a quick elbow on her! Switch rolls to her feet, but Nathaniel is right on her with a leaping dropkick! Switch is backed into the corner, and Nathaniel goes for a charging spear! Switch, though, rolls over his back, and Nathaniel JUST stops short of hitting the ringpost!*

Nathaniel: O_O!!… *whew* ^_^

*Switch, though, gets a running start, and dropkicks Nathaniel RIGHT in the ass, sending him shoulder-first into the post!*

Christina: See, right there, a rookie mistake by Nathaniel! He needs to be more aware in the ring, instead of just staggering around like he’s Ric Blade with a bad knee!

Ralph: …… who the hell are you talking about!? >=|

*Switch pulls Nathaniel out of the corner, and whips him into the ropes! She does a split to duck under him, and as he bounces off the other ropes, she catches him with her legs, sending him over her head, and landing on the mat!*

Nathaniel: >_< !

*Switch pulls him up by his hair, and delivers a harsh punch to his forehead! Nathaniel, dazed, staggers back, and Switch wings him into the ropes! She tries to do a spin-kick to him, but Nathaniel actually dives FOR her other leg, and takes it out from under her!*

Switch: ACK!!!

*Switch falls RIGHT on her face! Nathaniel holds onto the leg, and gets a running start, and leaps through the ropes! He lands on the floor, and SLAMS her leg, bending it over the ring apron!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!

Christina: Now THAT’S smart wrestling!! Take out her legs so that she can’t stand!

Bob: Switch is down, and her knee looks in bad shape!

*Switch holds her knee in pain, as Nathaniel slides in, and drives his fist into Switch’s knee! Switch grunts in pain, then starts YELLING out as Nathaniel starts inscreasing the mass in his fist, creating more and more pressure on Switch’s knee!*

Switch: AUUGHGHREGEKLHREKFH X_____X!!!

*Switch struggles, and manages to shove off Nathaniel! Nathaniel, though, runs, jumps, and shifting the mass into his back, and landing a senton RIGHT on Switch’s knee!*

Crowd: OOOHH!!!

Christina: That must be a good 300 or so pounds dropping right on Switch’s already busted knee! That’s like having Iceberg drop a leg on you!

Ralph: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT >=|

*Nathaniel rolls off of her, and makes a cover!*

Ref: 1!… 2!….*KICKOUT*

*Switch JUST manages to kick out! Nathaniel, frustrated, whips Switch into the ropes, and prepares for a HEAVY-ass clothesline! But just as she bounces off…*

Switch: HAA!!!

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!

*Switch makes a DIVING blow, and smacks Nathaniel RIGHT in the chest with a palm strike, sending him FLYING back, and into the ref! The ref ends up being sandwiched between Nathaniel’s heavy-ass body and the turnbuckle!!*

Ref: X_X!!!

*Okay, if it was Glen Sanchos, he MIGHT’VE gotten up, but this ref is a BITCH-ASS ref, and is OUT! Nathaniel is down on the ground, and is trying to pick him up while Switch is leaning against the ropes, panting!*

Christina: GOTTAGOSEEKYAKTHXBAI

Bob: Wha, HEY!!!

*Christina THROWS down her headset, SLIDES down the commentator’s booth, and SPRINTS down to the ring! Switch doesn’t even see her coming, and Christina LEAPS up and lands on the apron next to her! She grabs Switch from behind, and hoists her up onto her shoulders, with her arm across her throat!!*

Bob: Oh my…

Ralph: NO!!! THE KITTIES!!!

*Christina LEAPS off the apron with a Cutthroat Suplex more commonly known as the "Mark Out"!! Switch lands RIGHT on her neck and head, and is ASS out!! Christina kips up to her feet, and just CHUCKS Switch’s unconcious body into the ring!*

Crowd: *HUGE HEEL HEAT*

*Right as Switch is thrown in, Nathaniel’s gotten the ref revived! He goes over, sees Switch down, and covers!*

Ref: 1!….2!…..3!!!

*DING, DING, DING!!!*

*The crowd goes APESHIT with boos aimed at Christina! Christina, standing in the aisle, is only smirking as she walked to the back!*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner of the match…. NATHANIEL WYSTAN!!!

Winner: Nathaniel

Crowd: *chanting* BULL-SHIT!!! BULL-SHIT!!! BULL-SHIT!!!

Ralph: YEAH! THAT WAS BULLSHIT >=|

Bob: Switch’s neck must be DUST after that move! Can we get a replay??

*The replay comes up, showing in slow motion Christina’s leap from the apron, and Switch folding up like a TACO on the floor! Back in real time, Switch is being helped up, and carried to the back by the ring crew*

Ralph: I should’ve just punched her right in her non-exitsant tits e_e

*Now We’re backstage with Sue Tellarusso and Gene Starwind!*

Sue: Hey guys, I’m back here with the runner up to the UCTF Grand Championship Tournament, Gene Starwind.. Gene… tonight Shawn has REQUESTED he face you in an electrified light tube match. He thinks that you getting to the finals of the tournament was a fluke.. What do you have to say?

Gene: … e_e… Shawn wants to take me on in a light tube match. That’s fine. But if we’re using weapons.. I’m bringing mine. *pats his castor rifle* …heh.. And as far as me being a fluke in the tournament.. I–

*Well, whatever point Gene was about to make is suddenly interrupted as someone steps between Gene and Sue, pushing the microphone away from his lips! And you’d better believe that upon seeing who it is, the colour drains from Gene’s face like someone just pulled the plug in a bathtub… there’s even a gurgling noise!*

Xion: Oh! Hey! Sorry, didn’t realize the cameras were rolling, hey everyone out there!

*And then, Xion the Unborn, the guy who had his first loss in the UCTF TO Gene under balatantly suspect circumstances, waves to the camera and smiles to the camera!*

Sue: Um… excuse…

Xion: Oh, sorry! I keep forgetting. I’ll let you two do your interview thing.

*The silver haired man turns to leave, bumping into Gene on the way. He stops, straighten’s Genes shirt at the shoulders and then pats him on the back!*

Xion: How’re ya doing buddy? Did you put on weight? Would you look at the time?! I’m late. *to the camera* Boy am I ever late.

*and then like that he’s gone leaving both Gene and Sue standing there with "WTF?!" written across their faces!*

Gene: ………tell me I didn’t just see that…..

Ralph: That was… did you see..

Bob: YES I DID!! >_< Ladies and Gentleman we’re back, and as you can see, Countdown’s camp has set up a ridiculous Anime Title ceremony in the middle of the ring!

*The camera gets a shot at the inside of the ring.. red carpet has covered the entire ring which leads down the stairs, around the ring and all the way up the ramp. The Anime Title is in the middle of the squared circle and is encased inside of a glass podium. Nabeshin stands before us wearing a sleasy suit.. but what’s new? X_x*

Nabeshin: Hello everyone and welcome to this Nabe-casion! ^_^

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nabeshin: I’m here to introduce your new Anime Champion! Everyone, put your hands together, for the man who is the official spokesman of Barf Burger, the man who defeated Andre Tau in a Flaming Cell match, the one, the only, COUNTDOWN!!!

*Just then… Goldberg’s old WCW theme kicks up.. yeah, they’re going all out here folks.. complete with the special pyrotechnical effects! Countdown comes out to a huge ovation.. OF BOOS as he saunters down the aisle!*

Nabeshin: That’s right, the Countdown has begun once again, and this time, it’s counting down to the most glorious Anime title reign in the history of the UCTF!

Crowd: >=| BOOOOO!!

*Countdown climbs into the ring and takes the mic away from Nabeshin.. right as he begins to speak, the crowd interrupts with their favorite chants of all time!*

Crowd: ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!

Countdown: Thank you, thank you… Yes, I am here as your new Anime Champion!!!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Bob: Yeah, thanks to one of the shadiest tactics we’ve seen since Dan Hibiki’s first Grand Championship reign! =\

Ralph: heh.

Countdown: >_< And I would just like to make it a point to all of my C-Fans out there, that I control this belt!!

Crowd: O_o?

Ralph: Oh, what’s this dumbass talking about now?

Bob: I don’t think I WANT to know.

Countdown: THAT’S RIGHT! I made Suicide lose it… I made Kunoi lose it and I’m sure as hell responsible for making that flamer Andre Tau lose it!

Bob: x_x. Please someone make him shutup!

Ralph: I second that notion!

Countdown: Now all I have to say is that a new era in the UCTF has begun, and for all those who think that the Countdown is over, Nabeshin is right… it’s only just begun! My FIRST order of business now that I am champion, is wi—

*Right as Countdown is flapping his gums, the Jumbotron flashes to life with a shot of "Uncle Poad" smiling into the camera! That’s right, We’ve been interrupted by a damn "Poad’s Bar" commercial!*

Ralph: O_o? Huh?

Bob: uhh.. o_o

*Poad doesn’t waist too much more time and steps aside showing his now famous Anime City bar, as usual, filled to the brim with people..*

Poad: Hello friends. I’m Poad owner of Poad’s bar. Here is where the relaxed atmosphere and good drinks are.

*The camera shows various pictures of happy patrons just chatting and taking long gulps out of those big 2-liter beer mugs.*

Ralph: O_o? Is there a point to all this?

Poad: Why, we even have standup comedians and the occasional singer. What I’m saying is…Come on down to Poad’s bar, we have every drink from Naroom to Anime City.

*And with that, the Jumbotron fades to black and we’re back in the arena where Countdown and Nabe are watching in shock! They’ve been cut off by POAD.*

Countdown: … *twitch* o_o..

Nabe: o_o……

Bob: LOL!!!

Ralph: LOL! What the hell!? A commercial during Countdown’s "Title" ceremony? That’s classic! ^_^

Bob: yeah that was all funny and all, but I just hope we don’t’ start showing those "Truth" commercials, it’s bad enough we have to sit through them in the movies now!

Ralph: Don’t get me started on that! >=|

Countdown: .. e_e THIS CEREMONY IS OVER! COME ON NABE! >=|!!!

*If you could see under the mask you’d probably see tears streaming down his eyes right about now! Nabeshin follows as the "Uncle Poad" song plays through the arena!*

Bob and Ralph: LOL!! Let’s get to the next match!

*"Testing" tunes up from the speakers, and once again, the crowd booed in disapproval as Shawn Shane Shields walks down the ramp, complete with his weed whacker and the Swordmaster belt! Despite the embarrassing loss to Bob in the PPV, he comes down to the ring with a confident smirk, knowing who his opponent is…*

Ralph: Here comes Triple S, ready for his match against Melvic for the Swordmaster title!

Bob: He ought to be hiding in embarrassment now that I kicked his ass in On Your Computer! LOL!

Ralph: I think he has other problems to think about, because he’s going to have to defend his title against someone who already won the Swordmaster title TWICE!

*And just then, ‘Zophar’s True Power’ comes on, and the crowd cheered as Melvic Lilith, returning after a long-term dormancy, comes down the ramp with authority! He wanted to get that title for the THIRD time, and he wanted it NOW! Triple S merely watched him, and chuckled to himself as Melvic enters the ring.*

SSS: >=)…. So, the great Melvic returns to get his ass kicked again, huh?

Melvic: >=|!!

DING! DING! DING!

*Melvic was just about to charge straight at SSS, but the Philadelphia native held up his hand in a wait signal, and Melvic actually believed him, as he skidded into a halt!*

Melvic: o_O?

SSS: Wait, wait, I feel a sneeze coming in… hold on, okay?

Melvic: ~_~ *waits and taps foot*

Bob: Oh come on!! >=|

Ralph: o_O This is something new…. I think.

*With Melvic waiting just two feet away from him, Triple S took out his rag, sneezed right onto it with a loud honking sound, and then STUFFED Melvic’s face with the wet rag!*

Melvic: ACK!! >___<

Bob: I saw this coming!

Ralph: Melvic, watch out! SSS has the–

Ralph: Weed…. Whacker…. X___X

*You guessed it! Shawn took advantage of the distraction by making a blind date between his weed whacker and Melvic’s FACE! Not even ten seconds into the match, and already blood spurted out as the weed whacker’s deadly blades cut through the face, and Melvic screamed in pain and stumbled back-first through the ropes and onto the concrete outside. Shawn laughed and raised his weed whacker in the air, and droplets of Melvic’s blood threw in all directions from the spinning blades!*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! >=|!!

*Shawn didn’t boast for too long, as he quickly climbed up the turnbuckles with his weapon, seeing Melvic staggering up below, and leaped down, striking him on the head with the weed whacker like a spinning blade guillotine! A pool of blood quickly developed on the ground as Melvic stumbled onto the guardrail, but as Shawn immediately went to grab him, Melvic shoulder tackled him in a desperate move to catch his breath! With renewed vigor, he grabbed Shawn by the throat, threw his weapon onto the mat, and flew up in the air with Shawn on tow, and made a nosedive, slamming the blue-haired whiney bitch with a Sonic Slam!*

Ralph: Whoa, what a way to turn the tables around!

Bob: It would have been better if Shawn actually landed on that sword on the mat!!

*Wanting revenge for having his face cut up, Melvic hauled up Shawn by the air and elbowed struck him to a corner, and then picked up his sword! Without his precious weed whacker, SSS is helpless as Melvic charged forward with his sword, ready to kish-kabob him!*

*Did Melvic run him through? No, of course not, God apparently wanted him to continue living as SSS recovered his senses quickly enough to see Melvic coming and side-stepped just as the sword punched through one of the turnbuckles. With the sword stuck there at the moment, Shawn grabbed Melvic from behind for a release suplex that sent the half-demon flying clear across the mat, and he kissed the turnbuckle on the other end before slumping onto the mat!*

Bob: Ouch! Melvic’s getting a nice welcome back reception, isn’t he? x_X

SSS: e_e……..

*Shawn glared at Melvic as they got up at the same time, after picking up his weed whacker, he smirked and pulled Melvic’s sword out of the turnbuckle and threw it at him. Melvic caught the sword expertly, but he didn’t like the gesture very well. He knew that SSS was just taunting him.*

SSS: You want to take my Swordmaster title, huh? Go ahead and try then. I’ll let you make the first shot. >=)

Melvic: >=/

*Melvic opens up the offensive by flaming his sword and threw a flame cross straight at Triple S! SSS sees it coming and counters with a Venom Strike, and the two projectiles dissipate in mid-air! Melvic tries the same move again and this time, he charges along with the flame cross. SSS fires off another Venom Strike to strike down that flame cross and then sparks flew as the weed whacker and the flaming sword connected again and again as they do a classic play of sword fighting!*

Ralph: Who taught him how to swordfight? O_o

Bob: WHO THE HELL CARES? >=|

*However, inexperience in this kind of field gave SSS the disadvantage as Melvic slowly but surely overpowered him, and soon SSS finds himself back against the ropes! SSS tries to spin his way around him, but Melvic caught him with a sickening blow to the head with the flat portion of his blade, sending SSS over the ropes and nearly over the guardrail! Not wanting to give any more room to him, Melvic balanced on the top of the ropes, swung his sword around to make a ring, and then leapt onto Shawn! The fiery ring engulfed the blue-haired dude and the crowd cheered as they smelled the sweet odor of burning flesh!*

Bob: Nice comeback by Melvic!

Ralph: Finish him off so that we can get on to the next match! I hate having to see no puppies! ;_;

Bob: You never change, don’t you? ~_~

SSS: *cough* *cough* x_x

*Shawn desperately tries to stand up but Melvic was again upon him, striking him on the neck with the flat of the blade and then once SSS was back on the ground, Melvic fires off a ki that sends himself off the ground, and incinerate Shawn even further! Melvic floats for a few seconds before landing, and then with confidence rising, he walks over to his opponent with his sword still spewing flames. Shawn however recovered quicker than he thought, for once Melvic reached him, he punched him right onto the kidney, and then for the second time in rapid succession, staggered Melvic to the side of the mat. SSS then charged like a bull and drilled Melvic so hard that Melvic’s body folded in half and SQUEEZED through the gap between the bottom rope and the mat, and they both got into the ring that way!*

Ralph: Ouch! That’s one way to get into the ring! X__X

*Melvic rolls around the ring, holding his gut in pain, and SSS kips up, pissed off as HELL! And why not? He lost against the only two zoanthropes in the history of the UCTF so far, got knocked out cold by a sack of doorknobs not once but SEVERAL times, lost a match against a commentator, and on PPV no less, saw his former tag partner and friend Will win the Grand Championship title that he felt he deserved, AND… saw his ex-girlfriend fawn over Will at the end of the PPV! If all that happened to me, of course I would pick up the weed whacker and proceed to cut at Melvic’s leg… which was exactly what SSS did. o_o*

Melvic: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! >______<

Crowd: >______<

Ralph: Ugh, God! X__x

*The weed whacker ripped through Melvic’s flesh on the leg, and whenever Melvic moved to avoid him, SSS followed him and continued on the onslaught! Finally when Melvic rolled to the center of the ring, Shawn threw the weed whacker on the mat beside him and then hauled Melvic to his feet. He launched him in a powerbomb position, bounced him off the top rope, and finished the Westchester Bomb… with Melvic’s back slammed against the weed whacker on the mat! Melvic’s body shook as the spinning blades did its bloody job, but Shawn isn’t finished yet! He then lifts Melvic up for another powerbomb, and slams the two-time Swordmaster champion again on the weed whacker! Melvic screamed loudly in pain, and Shawn lifts him up again…*

Ralph: Not again! Not again! X__x

*BUT, Melvic regained his senses in desperation and punched Shawn on the face to release his hold on him! Landing with his feet between the weed whacker, Melvic quickly picked up the weed whacker and THREW it at SSS! The weed whacker knows neither friend or foe, as the spinning blades slashed across Shawn’s face, spilling his blood to mix in with Melvic’s on the mat!*

Crowd: YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!! >=D!!!!

Bob: Bout time someone gave that punk a taste of his own medicine!!

*Bloodied on the face, head, leg, and especially his back, Melvic groggily picked up his sword and turned to face Shawn. Before Shawn could pick up the weed whacker, he charged forward and sent three straight flame crosses onto Shawn’s body! SSS screams from the burns and tries to block with the weed whacker, but Melvic easily found an opening and thrust with the sword, cutting across Shawn’s side! With a new wound on the side of his stomach, SSS blocks a second sword slash frantically, kicked Melvic on the stomach and made an impromptu DDT, driving Melvic’s head to the mat! The crowd booed loudly, but neither SSS or Melvic gets up immediately!*

Ref: One…. Two…. Three… Four… Five… Six…

SSS: *KIPS UP*

Ralph: Shawn’s up first! Melvic’s in big trouble!! O_O

Bob: Get up, Melvic! Get up! >=|

Melvic: x_o……

*Melvic finally tries to get up, but is too dazed to counter Triple S as the whiney bitch slammed him on the side of the head with the weed whacker, sending Melvic bowling in pain and he rolled out of the ring! However he seemed to be playing possum for even as SSS climbs through the ropes to reach him, Melvic leapt up, grabbed Shawn by the throat, and flies in the air, finally plastering Shawn on the mat with another Sonic Slam!*

SSS: X____X

Melvic: X____X

*The move however almost knocked Melvic out as well, and once again the ref begins to count as the two fighters were catching their breath lying on the mat! This time, when the ref reached to eight, the fighters staggered up both at the same time, and Melvic was the first to charge at him! Shawn however countered by grabbing his clothing by the waist, and using the momentum, slingshot him straight onto the turnbuckles, and then pounded him with a Double Strike for good measure!*

Melvic: X___x!!!

SSS: e_e Enough of this……..

*Shawn steps out of the ring, only to pull out a table from underneath the mat, and then stepped back inside with it! The crowd booed as Shawn set up the table close to the corner where Melvic was at, and then placed the weed whacker on top of the table! Wooden splinters appeared as the spinning blades cut at the table, but it remained in place!*

Ralph: Now what is he going to do…? o_o

*Shawn goes over to Melvic, thinking that he’s too dazed to fight back, but Melvic suddenly punched him on the face, and then grabbed him, lifting him off his feet! He then flies to the top of the ring, Shawn helpless in tow!*

Bob: He’s going for his Deadly Drill Drive finisher!!

*Once Melvic is high enough in the air, he throws Shawn down onto the mat, barely missing the table, and then spins around, diving toward Shawn!!!*

Bob: Goddammit, he MISSED!!! >_<

*Ouch! Melvic missed Shawn entirely, landing on the mat harshly elbow-first! Shawn managed to get up before Melvic could, and seeing the weed whacker still on the table, he chuckled evilly. Uh oh…*

SSS: >=)!!

Melvic: X_X

*Shawn hauls Melvic to his feet and then they BOTH climbed up to the table, still avoiding the weed whacker! Shawn picks him up in a reverse DDT position, and then SLAMS Melvic’s bloody, cut up head ONTO the weed whacker, and they both went through the table as it collapsed from underneath them!*

Ralph: SST ON THE WEED WHACKER!! GAH!!! >___<

*Wounded heavily and carrying the almost busted up weed whacker, Shawn rolled away and Melvic’s bloodied form remains amid table debris, knocked out cold!!*

Ref: One… two… three…

Bob: Get up, Melvic! Come on!! O__O

Ref:……. Eight… nine… TEN! RING THE BELL!!

DING DING DING!!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Ralph: And Shawn retains the belt! X__x

Bob: Dammit! e_e!!!

*The crowd continued booing as the ref gives the Swordmaster title back to Shawn. SSS raises the belt victoriously and then looked up to find Bob glaring at him! He smirked, spat onto the mat, then walked out of the ring as the EMTs rushed over to tend to Melvic.*

Winner and STILL UCTF Swordmaster Champion: Shawn Shane Shields

*We’re backstage with Ukyo and Bryan Amethyst*

Ukyo: so Bryan.. o_o.. you’re looking a lot better today.. maybe even.. chipper..

Bryan: yeah.. *sighs* I finally got a GREAT night of sleep ^_^

*FLASH BACK TO LAST NIGHT*

Bryan: ..oh Yakuu-chan!! H_H!

*Bryan is sleeping with a Yakuu plushie, inside of his bed that’s covered with Yakuu sheets, Yakuu blankies, surrounded by and entire ROOM of Yakuu posters on each wall AND ceiling!*

Ukyo: uhh.. ready for your match against Ethan Rice?? It’s uh.. for the world Title!

Bryan: oh I’m ready Yakuu -chan.. wish me luck! *SKIPS AWAY*

Ukyo: ……….back to you guys……

Announcer: The Following Match is scheduled for one fall and for the UCTF World Championship! First, standing at five feet, nine inches and weighing in at 180 pounds.. From parts unknown… BRYAN AMETHYST!

*"Change The World" by The Offspring kicks up, bringing out Bryan Amethyst.. Someone who’s been… progressively getting weirder within the last few weeks in the UCTF!*

Bob: Here he comes… I know I’ve been out of my position for a few months now, but I’ve been keeping up with shows.. What’s up with him and..

Ralph: I don’t know. He seems a WEEE big obsessed.. Not that Yakuu is a bad thing to be obsessed about! H_H.

Bob: Well he’s lucky enough to be put in a position to win some gold tonight.. I just hope there’s no empty bottles laying around the ring.

Ralph: LOL!! Yeah. ^_^ Those Lo-Ruhamah matches were great.

*As Bryan gets into the ring, his music fades away, allowing the ring announcer to do his job…*

Announcer: Next, being accompanied by Earl Julius Slackmoser.. standing at five feet 11 inches, and weighing in at 150 pounds.. From Muncie, Indiana… ETHAN RICE!

*"Crawling in the Dark" by Hoobstank blares up next, bringing out Ethan Rice, the man who finally shutup the Korean asshole, Sasa Dark at the On Your Computer PPV. The weeks in the UCTF just keep getting better for Rice, as he now prepares to do battle for the UCTF World Championship!*

Bob: Here comes a very happy young man!

Ralph: I’ll say. Now that Sasa’s gotten his ass kicked, he can never interfere in Ethan and Sasha’s relationship anymore… Now that they have no more drama, how long do you actually think THAT relationship will last?

Bob: Who knows! But let’s not get off of subject like those other commentators in New England, We’re getting ready for an impromptu World Title match thanks to Vegeta stripping William Clarke of the gold!

Ralph: come on, he was doing William a favor! Who wants to defend four titles in one night anyway??

*Inside the ring, the referee flashes the beltin front of Bryan, as well as Ethan before holding it into the air!*

*Bryan and Ethan size each other up before the bell. This match could very easily boost the careers of both UCTF fighters…*

Bob: Not counting the NNNN invitational a few weeks ago, this will be the first time Ethan and Bryan will meet in the squared circle.

Ralph: So you mean this match could be a crap fest?

Bob: or a classic. o_o

Ralph: ..crap-fest.

!!DING DING DING!!

*Ethan throws his coat out of the ring and to Slackmoser, and as the bell sounds, Bryan and Ethan slowly creep towards each other, preparing for the other to throw the first punch when out of no where Bryan goes for a savate kick! Ethan dodges matrix style, then finds himself leaping over a low sweeping kick! Bryan comes back up with a high spin kick which Ethan ducks! The gamer uses that momentum to come around with a spinning Elbow that Bryan blocks with both forearms. He pushes Ethan Back and goes for a fourth kick, in which Ethan blocks with a kick of his own! Unphased, Bryan goes for a high kick that finds it’s way against Ethan’s face!*

Bob: Bryan taking control early!

Ralph: I know Ethan’s face is hurting right now x_x

*Ethan hits the ropes from the kick and bounces back, running right into a shoulder tackle that takes his legs out right from underneath him. Showing an inspiring amount of speed, Bryan flies through the air, bounces off of the ropes and sends Ethan to the ground with an elbow to the small of the back! Ethan hits the canvas and bounces back to his feet. As he turns around, Bryan is already mid-flip, He ends up behind Ethan before digging both feet into his back! Ethan goes flying face first into the turnbuckle and snaps backwards, right into Bryan’s "Tatsumaki Lariat" which sends Ethan head over heels.. LITERALLY.*

Ralph: NICE clothesline there!

Bob: Bryan is taking this match VERY seriously it seems!

Ralph: Well yeah, This is probably gonna be his last time going for this title!

*After those high impact moves, the crowd is surprised to see Ethan being able to stand up! Bryan waits paitently behind him, charging up his arms with electric-chi. Not good for the gamer!*

Bob: Bryan taking it to Ethan very early.. If he can keept his momentum up here!

*Ethan turns around just as Bryan thrusts forward with the attack! Somehow he’s able to dodge via a quick roll! As he stands up, Ethan pulls out his doom mace and swings it at full power towards Bryan. The dimension jumper manages to get his arms up in the way, and takes the mace full on.. Before dispersing into a mist!*

Ethan: ?!!?

Ralph: What the hell was that!?

Bob: I have no idea, I don’t think he’s ever done that in the UCTF!

*The mist forms into Bryan once again, but now he’s right behind Ethan! He lunges to attack, but just when he does, Ethan quickly pulls out a set of 20 sided dice from his bag, and right into the open chest of Bryan!*

*The challenger is caught dead on quite unexpectantly and is sent into the far corner HARD. We’re talking Rey Jr being thrown by the Big Show hard!*

Bob: 20 Sided Dice! 20 sided Dice!

*As Bryan bounces forward from the kick, Ethan nails him in the bread basket with a well placed kick! Bryan doubles over from the attack as Ethan comes off of the ropes, and SMACKS him with an uppercut using the Mace! Bryan is taken off of his feet and lands neck first! Into the ropes!*

Bob: WOW! What a hit!

Ralph: LOL.. Bryan almost FLIPPED from that hit!

*With Bryan down, and probably not getting up for a while, Ethan stumbles over to the corner and ties the dicebag to the top turnbuckle!*

Ralph: Bob, what is he..

Bob: one can only imagine Ralph.. I think he’s gonna try to irish whip BRYAN into the dice bag!

Ralph:… I’m gonna enjoy watching this!

*Ethan goes back to Bryan, and does EXACTLY what Bob says he’s going to do! He irish whips, but it’s REVERSED by Bryan! Ethan goes flying across the ring and almost into the bag! Luckily he stops short just INCHES from the dicebag! Bryan flies across the ring to tackle Ethan into the bag, but the gamer dodges! Bryan goes FACE FIRST into it!*

Crowd: OOOH!!

Bob: BRYAN HTIS THE BAG! IT’S OVER!

Ralph: AMAZING NEW WORLD CHAMPION!

Bob: NOT YET!

*The blast knocks bryan to the mat with such force he FLIPS over to his stomach! Ethan makes a running slide, turns Bryan over and goes for the pin!*

Referee: 1…2…2.9999!!!

*Ethan pops back up to his feet and crouches low in the corner, preparing for Bryan to get up! The fans see what’s coming and begin calling for the SPEAR!*

Bryan: >_<

Bob: Ethan’s setting Bryan up for the end here!

Ralph: oh well, Bryan was doing pretty good for the first…. two minutes in the match…

*Bryan’s back up and turns around just as Ethan EXPLODES towards him for the Spear! However, Bryan LEAPS over the attack! Ethan somehow rolls out of it and returns to his feet with a present for Bryan now in his hands.. The 100 sided dice! However Bryan sees them and immediately throws a small ki attack across the ring in a blaze! The blast hits Ethan’s hand with the dice encased!*

*The dice are set off and almost blow Ethan’s hand right off of his body! The kid flies flies through the air and hits the ground HARD.*

Ethan: X___X!!

Bob: GREAT move by Bryan Amethyst!!! He can capitalize on this right now!

*And he plans on it Bobby! Bryan is now fully charged! He flies towards Ethan, but is met with a HUUUUUGGEEE ballshot! Bryan flies off of his feet and lands knees first! Ethan draws back, and with desperation nails Bryan in the temple with Chastity’s "Star Punch!" Bryan flips over and hits the ground! The devestating punch to the temple almost knocking him completely out!*

Ralph: Bryan’s down! Bryan’s down!!

Bob: And Ethan’s got his Mace in hand! He’s going up top!

*Damn right it’s he’s going up, and the crowd knows it!*

Crowd: DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM!!!!

*As Ethan perches himself on the top rope… an all too familiar face makes his way from the back wearing a HUGE smirk! No, it’s not Sasa Dark, it’s someone much more dark and demented.. The demon known as…*

Ralph: OH SHIT IT’S

Bob: RAVEN DARC!! What’s he doing out here?!?!

*Raven immediately takes out Earl Slackmoser and prepares to do the same, but this time, Ethan doesn’t give him an opportunity to interfere in the match! He LEAPS off of the top rope and right into the giant with the mace! Raven stumbles backwards from the hit, and Ethan actually pummels his ass all the way back up the aisle!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

Ralph: WTF, am I watching the twilight zone?!

Bob: no! I’m seeing it too! Ethan is going berserk!!

*The ref doesn’t even attempt to count! There has to be a winner in this match of Vegeta will hand him his ASS. He follows behind Ethan, instructing Meanwhile inside the ring, Bryan has recovered from the series of attacks and watches on..*

Bryan: … e_e…

*He looks on at the commotion outside… then lays back down on the canvas as if he’s still knocked out!*

Ralph: Hey did you..

Bob: I sure did!!! Bryan’s got somethingup his sleeve!

*Back outside, the referee finally pulls Ethan off of Raven Darc, who backs off willingly and retreats for now.. Now with the threat gone, Ethan returns his attentions to the STILL Koed Bryan who lays "unconscious" in the ring! The referee jumps back into the ring as Ethan begins his climb to the top rope with mace still in hand!*

Ethan: >=D!!

Bob: And Ethan’s going up top!! I don’t think he knows!

Ralph: Oh this is pure genius on Bryan’s part!

*Bryan "stumbles" to back to his feet, right where Ethan wants him! As the gamer leaps off to put the finishing touches on Amethyst… Bryan pulls thrusts his palms forward, shooting out an enormous ki techinque right into the exposed torso of Ethan Rice!*

Bryan: DAIDAN’EN HITOARE-TSUMEEEEE!!!!!!!

*Ethan is hit and OBLITERATED by the attack, completely with articles of clothing literally being burnt right off of him! The blast sends Ethan flying straight into the air before gravity takes over, bringing the 150 pounder back to the canvas, face first!*

Crowd: OOOOHHHH!!!!!

*Bryan stumbles and lands tangled in the ropes utterly exhausted, while the referee performs a ten count on the downed Ethan!*

Referee: 1….2… ….Screw that he’s out! Ring the bell!

!!DING DING DING DING!!

*That’s right folks, the bell sounds as "Change the World" kicks up over the sound system! The Referee brings the belt into the ring and hands it over to Bryan before raising his arm in the air!*

Bob: AMAZING! NEW WORLD CHAMPION! Bryan defeats Ethan Rice in their first meeting and wins the UCTF World Championship!

Ralph: That was a brutal ki attack to end it! Ethan was WIDE open as well, he didn’t stand a chance!

*Bryan rolls out of the ring and walks up the aisle all the while not taking his eyes off of his new reward, I think he’s as shocked as most of us out there in the crowd and in TV land.. He’s the new World Champion!*

Winner and NEW UCTF World Champion: Bryan Ameythst

*Back in the ring, as the referee checks on Ethan… Raven Darc swoops down from out of NO where! The ref just about pisses his pants and flees the area, leaving only Raven and the downed Gamer alone!*

Bob: oh what the hell is this?!!?

Ralph: I don’t think he’s finished with Ethan!! X_x

*Oh heck no he’s not! He pulls Ethan back to his feet by the hair methodically, before wrapping his arms around his neck, and performing the "Endless Waltz" in the center of the ring!*

Raven: >=)

Bob: OH WHAT THE HELL?!?!

Crowd: BOOOOO!!!!!! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!

Bob: That was COMPLETELY un-called for! Ethan was already helpless after that energy attack from Bryan Amethyst.. Why the hell has Raven been attacking him week in and week out?!?!?!

*Raven leaves the ring as "Die Motherf**ker Die" blares through the sound system! As the full fledged demon walks up through the stage and to the back, Ethan screams out to him with a microphone given to him by the announcer..*

Ethan: RAVVVVEEEENNNN!!!!!

Bob: uh oh.. What is this.

Ralph: umm.. Ethan… you beat Sasa.. Don’t let that go to your head!

Raven: e_e….

*Inside the ring, Ethan is stumbling around, trying to stand back to his feet unsuccessfully, before finally falling into the ropes..*

Ethan: I DON’T’ KNOW WHY YOU HATE ME… WHY YOU’VE BEEN ATTACKING ME EVERY WEEK.. BUT IF YOU WANT A PIECE.. WHY DON’T YOU GET INTO THE RING AND FIGHT ME NOW!

*The crowd pops HUGE, even though Ethan may be signing his own death certificate right now!*

Bob: NOT a good idea!

Ralph: We’re getting ready to see a beating.. O_O…

*Raven, with a sickening evil glare in his eyes curls his lips into a demonic grin.. He slowly shakes his head "no" before turning around and heading to the back!*

Ralph: What?! He turned Ethan down?!

Bob: I don’t understand.. What does Raven have up his sleeve?!

*Ethan rolls out of the ring still VERY much hurt from the combination of attacks.. He helps his manager back to his feet and together, they retreat to the back.*

Bob: Well, that was interesting.. But not as interesting as what’s about to come up next!

Ralph: Is it what I think it is?!

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall… and the UCTF INTERGALATIC CHAMPIONSHIP!!

Ralph: YES!! >_< !!!

Bob: This is going to be a great one.. FILLED with action!

*"Breaking Me Down" blares through the sound system bringing out The former three time Anime Champion, 2002 UCTF Strong Man Champion, SUICIDE jumps onto the stage area getting the crowd hype! He’s in a great mood, considering he gets a Intergalactic title shot out of the blue, and against someone he’s been wanting to put his hands on for a LONG time now anyway!*

Announcer: Hailing from Louisville, Kentucky, in the U.S. OF A!!

Crowd: *HUGE POP*

Announcer: Standing in at five feet seven inches and weighing in at 158 pounds… Seth Conway… SUICIDE!!!

*Suicide leaps into the ring, jumps to the top rope and raises his arms in the air to a nice pop!*

Bob: We’ve seen small seedlings of dissention between the members of The Militia..

Ralph: SMALL? Heero cost Leona a title.. against NNNN! Suicide and Leona beat the HELL out of each other in the last battle royale! These people are as disfunctional as Archie Bunkers!

Bob: well.. Yeah…*Next up, "Rhythmic Hallucination" turns up receiving a massive chorus of boos from the crowd! Here comes Leona, wearing her upgraded Milita outfit walking straight towards the ring! She slides in just as Arzie beings to run down her stats*

Announcer: Next weighing in a-

*Leona sends a small explosive, destroying Arzie’s microphone! She gives him a cold stare before saying…*

Leona: Now that wouldn’t be polite to tell my weight… would it? e_e

Arzie: *BITCHSCREAMS AND RUNS!*

Bob: ugh… man she’s a.. she’s a..

Ralph: Psychopathic, Hateful, Cold Heart maniacal bitch??

Bob: well yeah, something like that o_o.

*Leona cracks her knuckles and glares over at Suicide, who glares right back. Time for a lover’s quarrel kiddies, UCTF style!*

!!!DING DING DING!!!

*The match starts, and neither of these two competitors waste a SECOND attacking each other in the center of the ring! Suicide trades blows with Leona, who shows she can take hits like a man! Matter of fact, she takes control of the brawling, pushing Suicide towards the corner with every punch she connects! In the corner, Suicide blocks another right, followed by a headbutt! Leona stumbles backwards, holding her nose seconds before getting NAILED with a sweet savate kick! Leona stumbles, but STILL doesn’t go down! Suicide looks to the crowd amazed! He turns back to Leona, spins a full 360 degrees before NAILING her with an elbow! Leona reels from the hit, but STILL doesn’t go down!*

Bob: WOW!

Ralph: Damn, she can take shots to the face really well!

Bob: Don’t think I don’t know that was a hentai reference. e_e

Ralph: you’re learning, grasshopper. ^_^

Suicide: .. e_e!!!

*Suicide comes off the ropes and goes for a huge clothesline, but Leona ducks the attack! She turns around JUST to catch a SECOND savate kick from Suicide, taking her down!*

Crowd: *POPS!*

*Seth covers quickly to end the match..*

Ref: 1…2…

*Leona kicks out, Suicide then immediately flips her over and snaps her into his AWOL submission! The crowd pops huge, UNTIL they see a certain two people walking out from the backstage area…*

Ralph: Hey Bob! Look!!

Bob: Oh great… Look who’s here.. The two very men that entered the UCTF along with Suicide…

*YEP, It’s X and Recon! It’s common knowledge that these two have aligned themselves with Leona, but enough to turn on the very man who made them who they are? e_e well, they slowly walk down to the squared circle and watch their two leaders duking it out from the outside of the ring.*

X: e_e

Recon: e_e..

*Inside the ring, Seth’s got the AWOL locked tight.. But Leona muscles her way over to the ropes and grabs hold! The referee pulls Seth off, who pushes the ref away and goes to lock it on a second time.. ONLY to catch a mule kick to the sack!*

Suicide: >_<

*Leona comes off the ropes and FLIES through the air! Suicide is slashed midair and kicked away. He bounces off the ropes, comes back and is snap mared HARD tot he canvas, a move Leona calls the "Order Buckler" It’s so powerful that Suicide bounces off of the top rope and back to his feet.. As he stumbles around, Leona PLOWS him over with the "X-Calibur"*

Bob: Leona’s definately in control now thanks to a well placed ballshot by Suicide!

*Suicide crawls towards the corner, as Leona chops away.. When she picks him up by the air, Suicide suddenly shoves her into the ref, who is just about crushed in the turnbuckle! When she bounces back, Suicide NAILS her in the crotch with a kick in response to the one she gave him earlier!*

Leona; X_X!

Suicide: e_e..

Crowd: *POPS HUGE!*

Ralph: I still don’t understand how that hurts women.

Bob: ooh but it does! LOL Turn about is fair play!

*Leona doubles over and catches a wicked axe kick! The crowd pops loud and begins the chant like clockwork!*

Crowd: ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!

Suicide: …e_e!!

*He comes off the ropes again and nails a second to a MASSIVE pop! Suicide is back up, as he waits for Leona to stand… one can only suspect he’s going for the big finisher.. The Court Martial! Once Leona’s back up, she’s lifted right into his arms!*

Bob: This is it!

Ralph: No, she’s slipping out!

*Somehow, Leona slips out and pushes Suicide away! He hits the ropes, she swings, he ducks then NAILS her with a third savate kick! Leona is taken off of her feet once again and sent to the mat! Suicide looks out to the crowd, and immediately begins his climb to the top rope! He wastes NO time coming off, executing the corkscrew elbow!*

Bob: Suicide connects!

*He covers, and the ref goes for the count!*

Ref: 1…2…

*But the referee is pulled out by Recon and shoved to the floor!*

Crowd: O_O! BOOOO!!

Ralph: I KNEW IT!!

Bob: Those benedicts!!

*X jumps into the ring and attacks Suicide! As the crowd boos their freaking asses off, Suicide gets the upper hand and beats the living HELL out of subordinate inside the ring! Within seconds X is in Suicide’s arms in the fireman’s carry, going for the court martial!*

Bob: YES, PUT HIM DOWN SETH!

*BUT Recon enters in the ring with a chair, and NAILS Suicide in the face with it! Seth drops X out of his arms and goes down.. Recon and X then lift their leader off of the canvas and deliver the KILLSHOT, a double half nelson into a face buster!*

Crowd: BOOOOO!!!

*Oh it’s not over, Suicide is lifted into the air by Recon and X, before he’s hit with the SHELL SHOCKER, a double inverted Stunner that sends the former three timer to the canvas! With the referee STILL Koed on the outside, Leona is back up.. She orders X grab another chair from the outside.*

Leona: e_e…

Bob: Now what?!

Ralph: I don’t know, but now each X and Recon have chairs.. And there’s no one coming out here to help.. NOT cool not cool!

Bob: Where’s the freaking Grand Champion?! Anyone?!!?

*Leona locks Suicide into a reverse powerbomb position while X and Recon NAIL him with stern chairshots! Afterwards, they set the chairs up in front of Leona, who finished Suicide off with an IMPRESSIVE reverse Powerbomb face first on the chairs! The very move Suicide thought of known as the "ART OF WAR!" Suicide writhes in pain on the canvas, X and Recon leave the area and throw in the referee who’s still groggy!*

Bob: NO! DON’T LET IT END THIS WAY!

Ralph: I think it is.. X_x

*Leona covers, and it’s damn elementary folks..*

Ref: 1……… 2……… 3!

!!DING DING DING!!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*It’s OVER. "Rhythmic Hallucination" starts up to a tirade of boos from the crowd! The Referee stumbles back into the ring with the Intergalactic Championship, and it’s SNATCHED away by Leona.*

Announcer: The winner of this match and NEW UCTF Intergalactic Champion.. LEONA!

Crowd: *ALMOST BLEEDING FROM BOOING!!*

Bob: This is simply put.. BULLSHIT. >=|

Ralph: ~_~ … O_O!! AM-

Bob: -AZING, NEW INTERGALATIC CHAMPION.

Ralph: DAMNIT!!!

Winner and NEW Intergalactic Champion: Leona

*X and Recon put the title around the waste of Leona, and raise her arms into the air after SCREWING Suicide out of the title! As the militia prepares to leave the ring.. The new Intergalatic Champion stops them, before barking out commands to her boy toys. They immediately move into action, picking up the bent chairs from the canvas and beating the LIFE out of Seth Conway in the center of the ring!*

Bob: THIS IS ENOUGH!!

!!DING DING DING!! !!DING DING DING!!!

Ralph: Oh come on!

Bob: SOMEBODY GET OUT THERE!!!

*Seth is now bleeding PROFUSELY from the chairshots! Leona calls for them to finish him off!*

X and Recon: *nod* e_e..

*As they lift the chairs into the air, the crowd pops HUGE when a familiar figure leaps into the ring out of NO WHERE and I do mean NO WHERE. He spears BOTH X AND Recon down to the mat to a huge ovation!*

Ralph: *SPITS OUT HIS DRINK!*

Bob: *ALMOST LOSES HIS VOICE SCREAMING* HEERO YUY?!!? HEERO YUY!!!

*Recon swings at Heero who ducks and grabs X around the shoulders and neck, he hits a HUUUUUGE Exploder that sends Xavier landing RIGHT ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! He’s out! Recon dives forward just as Heero pulls out a small, powerful string and wraps it locked around Recon’s neck! The subordinate is then THROWN over the top rope with it and literally HANGED over that bitch!*

Heero: e_e!!!!!

*Leona NAILS Heero from behind with the chair! Recon is dropped to the floor…*

Heero: …. e_e…

*And Heero does the ol "NO SELL" from the hit to the back! He turns around PISSED. Leona drops the chair and dives through the ropes, leaving both X and Recon to rott inside the ring!*

Crowd: HEERO ! HEERO! HEERO! HEERO!

Bob: What a return for Heero Yuy! GOOD GOD!

*"WAR MACHINE" kicks up as Heero checks on Suicide in the ring.. He calls for the EMTs who rush with a stretcher and IV unites for Suicide..*

Ralph: Man.. Heero is .. He’s just as insane as ever.. O_O..

Bob: that he is.. But he saves Suicide from more damage.. Thank GOD he showed up when he did.

*Heero, along with the EMTs help Suicide to the back..*

*The screen fades from the UCTF logo to a clip in to the main event of OYC1… where Kyo Kusanagi wins the Intergalactic Championship by a thin hair!*

*on the big screen.. we see Hystalin and Kyo come off the second rope with the russian leg sweep again..

then it switches to slow motion.. Kakarott’s count 1……..2…….. Hystalin raises her arm right on the count

of three, and a GIGASECOND before Kakarott’s hand touches the mat, Kyo raises his arm! Kyo wins by

a Gigasecond! Kakarott raises Kyo’s hand in victory!*

Ralph: Oh man! I don’t think there’s been a match in UCTF history that was this close!!!

*The image of Kyo Kusanagi holding the Intergalactic Championship then fades into another moment of UCTF History. It is the scene on OYCII where Kaede’s retirement speech goes on in the background… including Kaede’s proposal to his girlfriend, Athena.*

*Kaede reaches into his shirt and pulls out a small black box. He opens it, revealing a gold ring*

Kaede: Athena Asamiya…will you marry me?

*The image of Kaede and Athena kissing fades into an infamous scene in OYCIII where Vegeta hands Jim Saotome the UCTF Grand Championship after winning the grand championship tournament back then.*

*Vegeta gets into the ring and goes face to face with Jin.. He slaps the belt against his bare chest, than raises the new Grand Champion’s hand in the air!!*

*Image of Jin Saotome holidng the grand title fades away, giving way to Seph Rend’s victory against Dayvid Nite, defending his coveted Intergalactic Championship title on OYCIV.*

Bob: What an amazing match! Seph retains the titleand his flawless record!

Scott: That was great! I bet we’ll see another rematch between these two soon!

*But then another timeless moment fades in! This time, it’s the image of Dayvid Night becoming victorious against Miko Mido, winning the UCTF Grand Championship and starting a feud that lives on to this day!*

*She’s back to her feet, but So is Dayvid! She turns around and finds herself being turned upside down in the arms of the "Legendary Beast"! The crowd stands to their feet and tries to cheer Miko into getting out of it! They’re hearts are browken when Dayvid explodes into the nosebleed section, then driving her back down on her head!*

Crowd: OOOOOH!!!!!

*He covers her body up and the ref counts!*

Ref: 1………2……..3!

*Another famous moment appears on the screen. This time it’s the emergence of the infamous Dark Horsemen laying waste to their opposition!*

*No one knows what the HELL is going on! Vegeta grabs Piccolo by the back of his bald head and flings him clear over the top ropes! He then kicks Hystalin and Ryokun under the ropes and to the floor, which leaves He and Jeice alone! The five other fighters and Roger Smith climb back into the ring!*

Ralph: ….DON’T TELL ME…

Bob: NO.. NO……

*Now Vegeta and 17 SHAKE HANDS!*

Bob: GOD NO!!!!!!!!

*Then comes another moment in UCTF history fades into the screen. This time, it’s the moment when Dan Hibiki successfully and luckily beat four other titans in retaining the Grand Championship belt on OYCVII!*

Bob: oh god no! Don’t let it end this way!!

Ref: 1………..

Bob: NO!! Hystalin Kick out!

Ref: 2……………..

Bob: *Covers his ears* X_X!!!!

Ref: 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Then comes the greatest moment in all of 2003… the moment where William Clarke became the UCTF Grand Championship on OYC8, and Jeice presents William with the belt… now completely PLATINUM.*

Jeice: I was given the permissioni by the President to present you with this.. New UCTF Grand Championship Belt.. And William, before I unveil this thing.. I just want to say that there’s a million federations out there who claim their title is THE Championship Gold. Heh.. Well they can have their gold mate, because not since the times of MILL MASCARAS has there been a TRULY PLATINUM title!

*He unveils the all new, all PLATINUM UCTF Grand Championship Title!*

Ralph: HOLY CRAP!!

Jeice: That’s right Kid, I present to you the PLATINUM UCTF Grand Championship Title. This federation is ABOVE the gold standard. We’re better than it, and so are you.

*The last image on the screen shows William Clarke holding the platinum UCTF Grand Championship in his hands until the screen fades to black. Then, on the screen appears the UCTF Logo… but with a little more…*

Bob: We’re back, and as you can see inside the ring, we’re getting ready for the main event!

Ralph: …dude.. Gene Starwind… two main events within the last two cards.

Bob: I know. o_o watch Team Rocket come back and kick Will and Suicide’s ass CLEANLY for the tag titles!

Announcer: The following match.. will be an ELECTRIFIED LIGHTTUBE MATCH!

*The booing starts within FOUR beats of SSS’s theme song "Testing" by CKY. The Swordmaster Champion slowly walks out from the back, still pretty beaten up from his go round with Melvic Lillith earlier in the night. Using a light tube as a walking stick, the cocky champion slowly saunters down the aisle to a tirade of booing!*

Ralph: Well you’ve gotta admit SSS has some balls coming out here after a vicious match against Melvic!

Bob: I don’t "gotta" give him a damn thing! >=|

Announcer: Weighing in at 200.2 pounds, and standing at five feet, ten inches… The UCTF Swordmaster Champion… SHAWN. SHANE. SHIELDS!

*SSS jumps into the ring, holding the swordmaster title in the air with one hand, and a light tube in the other!*

Bob: SSS has manipulated the system once again. He’s got Gene in a match of HIS expertise! Gene’s never been in a light tube match.. hell, Gene doesn’t even know how to fight without the aid of a damn GUN! He’s going to get slaughtered out there!

Ralph: Hey, he almost beat William last week!

Bob: e_e..

Ralph: ……. ok so he didn’t stand a chance! That’s not the point!

Announcer: Next, hailing from Sentinel III… standing at 5 feet, 9 inches and weighing in at 185 pounds… Gene Starwind!!

*"Shotgun Blues" kicks up over the sound system, and out comes Gene Starwind, the man who made it to the finals of a tournament he wasn’t even supposed to be in! He’s no fool, tonight he’s armed with his Castor Rifle, ready to go just like this was an NRA match!*

Gene: e_e..

*He gets inside the squared circle, which has four boards leanding on each turnbuckle. Each board contains four light tubes each that are plugged in and illuminated. For added effect, the lights around the entire open air arena is dimmed down almost complete to darkness, leaving the fluorescent tubes inside the ring to provide light for the entire crowd!*

Ralph: ooh! Pretty lights!

Bob: …dumbass.

!!DING DING DING!!

*Shawn drops the one lighttube down in the corner, and just STARES down Gene! Gene slowly approaches him, and the two meet in the middle of the ring!*

Gene: >=|….

SSS: e_e……>=|

*Shawn then just hocks a HUGE loogie right into Gene’s face!*

Crowd: *HUGE HEEL HEAT*

Ralph: Oh COME ON!!!

*Shawn takes advantage of Gene’s temporary blindness, and starts hammering away at him! Shawn just punches the HELL out of Gene, and as Gene starts bending over from the pain, Shawn just keeps on punching right in the back of the head!!*

Gene: x_X!!!

*But Shawn just KEEPS up the assault! He yanks up Gene, and whips him HARD towards one of the corners!*

Ralph: Oh shi-

Bob: LOOKOUT!!!

*BUT, Gene JUST manages to stop himself short of the glowing board! He catches his breath and turns around…*

Crowd: OOOOHHH!!!

*only to walk into a lighttube shot from Shawn, who picked up the tube he had brought to the ring with him! The damn thing EXPLODES over Gene’s head, and Gene goes down, his forehead ALREADY bleeding!*

Shawn: >=D!

*Shawn picks up Gene, and gives him a quick kick to the gut! Gene doubles over, and Shawn takes advantage, planting him with a DDT! Gene rolls over with it, holding his head on the mat, as Shawn slides outside!*

Ralph: What’s he doing!?

Bob: I can tell you what… e_e he’s setting up some seating!

*Yes, that’s right, Shawn’s flipping up the ring apron, and is getting some PLUNDER! He slides in two steel chairs, and sets a cardboard box up against the side of the ring before sliding back in! Gene is just getting up from the DDT, and Shawn just knocks him RIGHT back down with a chairshot!*

Ralph: Shawn’s in control of this match now!

Bob: I TOLD you Gene didn’t have a chance! >=|

*With Gene down, Shawn goes over to one of the lighttube boards! He slowly pulls it out of the corner, and sets it down flat on the mat! Smirking, he picks up one of the chairs, and turns around*

Crowd: OOOOHH!!!

Shawn: X_X!!!

*But, while he was down, Gene had managed to get his castor gun, and shoots the chair! The shot causes the chair to fly back, and nail Shawn in the face! It’s like a Van Daminator…only instead of a pothead kicking you get a bounty hunter shooting! Gene gets up, and goes over to Shawn, who’s STILL smarting from the shot! Gene grabs Shawn’s bloodstained shirt, and just RIPS it right off! He looks at the board on the ground, and back at Shawn!*

Gene: e_e!!!

*Gene gives Shawn a STIFF ass kick to the head, and drags him across the ring! He hoists him up into a powerbomb position, and gets a running start!!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!!!

Shawn: AUUUGHGFKHG#KHG#RK#RGHX____X!!!

*Shawn is just TOSSED and lands back-first on the board! The tubes all EXPLODE, and Shawn rolls over onto the floor, his back both cut up and burned in spots from the tubes!*

Ralph: Oh my GOD!!!

Bob: YEAH! YEAH!! FUCK HIM UP GENE >=|

Ralph: You’re on GENE’S side?!

Bob: No…. I just want to see Blue Boy get messed up >=|

*Shawn is WRITHING in pain on the ground, and Gene follows him! Gene yanks the cord from the dead board out of it’s socket under the ring, and starts CHOKING Shawn with it! Dragging Shawn by the cord wrapped around his neck, Gene just WHIPS him around and into the ring!*

Ralph: And with that SICKENING move onto Shawn, Gene is back in control of this match!

*Gene slides in, stomps on Shawn, then goes over into the corner! He pulls one of the boards out of the way, then goes back over to Shawn, and whips him HARD into the corner! Shawn takes the bump HBK-style, and ends up in a sitting position on the top rope! Gene YANKS him down into a Tree of Woe position, and leans the board on him, the tubes pointed at him!*

Ralph: Oh no…

Bob: OH YES >=D

*Gene sets up one of the chairs in the middle of the ring, and by this time, the fans are BUZZING! Gene gets a running start, leaps off the chair, and just DROPKICKS the board!!!*

Crowd: OOOOHHH!!!!

*The board just EXPLODES all over Shawn’s body and face, and it splits in half!*

Crowd: HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!! HO-LY SHIT!!

*Gene tosses away the halves, and pulls off Shawn’s bloody and burned body! He then drags one of the two remaining boards into the middle of the ring!*

Ralph: What’s he doing?? He should just PIN Shawn and end it?

Bob: Why, when there’s two more lighttube boards to put him through?!? e_e

*Gene picks up Shawn’s limp body, and tries to lift him up with another powerbomb! But, Shawn manages to SOMEHOW slide OVER Gene’s head, and land back-to-back with him!*

!!!DING!!!

*And he gives a Ric-Flair like back kick RIGHT to Gene’s nether regions! He grabs Gene, and picks him up for what looks like a reverse bomb onto the board! But, Shawn DELIBERATELY changes direction, and slams Gene right NEXT to the board!*

Crowd: o_o….

Shawn: e_e…..

*Shawn drags the board, and props it up against the second rope! He yanks up Gene, and pulls HIS shirt off! He hoists up Gene into a powerbomb position, bounces him off the top rope, then…*

Crowd: OOOOOHHH!!!!

*Gives Gene a Westchester Bomb ACROSS the ring thorough the board! Gene SCREAMS out in pain, and his back is now the one cut up and burned from the hot tubes!*

Ralph: My GOD!! Gene HAS to be out after that one!

Bob: NOW what’s that son of a bitch doing!?

*Shawn rolls out of the ring, and picks up the box he’d left outside, when he comes back in, he dumps out the box’s contents…. at least thirty MORE lighttubes! The crowd starts to stir, as Shawn picks up a bale of three tubes taped together!*

*He SLAMS it over Gene’s head, shattering them! He even throws the broken stubs and breaks them against his head! Gene just goes down limp, and Shawn starts piling up tubes on Gene’s back! He picks up a chair, and….*

Crowd: OOOHH!!!

*SMASHES the tubes all over Gene’s back with it!*

Bob: DAMMIT GENE YOU’RE WORTHLESS >=|

*Shawn sets up one chair, and another one across from it, and sets the last board across it! The crowd is getting restless, as Shawn stuffs Gene’s head between his legs!*

Bob: DAMMIT NOT THI-

Ralph: AISHA!! AISHA!!!

*The fans give her SOME heel heat, but not much because she’s running in against Shawn! Aisha scoops up two of the lighttubes on the mat, and just SMASHES them over Shawn’s head! Shawn goes down, and Gene manages to slip out of the powerbomb!*

Gene: >_o…. >;|….

*Both Gene and Aisha start POUNDING away at Shawn! The crowd just comes UNGLUED, not for them, but for the fact that Shawn’s getting his ass whipped! Gene points to the top rope, and the two start climbing WITH Shawn!*

Ralph: What are they…. oh no…

Bob: They’re BOTH going to put his worthless as through that board! >=D!!

*Gene and Aisha are BOTH standing on the top rope, and have their hands over Shawn’s throat! They both motion to the board, to a HUGE crowd reaction!*

Shawn: >_< …. >=|!!!

*Shawn, though, manages to elbow free! He then just SHOVES Aisha, sending her FLYING off the top, and she SMACKS against the concrete floor!!*

Crowd: OOOHH!!!

*As he shoves her, he crotches Gene on the top rope! Taking a moment to catch his breath, he then gets Gene in a sitting position on his shoulders! He manages to climb up the turnbuckle, and then cradles Gene’s head forward with his hands!*

Ralph: What’s he doing!??!

*Now on the top rope, Shawn JUMPS off, and DRIVES Gene HEAD AND NECK FIRST through the last board!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

*Gene ends up FLAT on his back in the middle of the ring, surrounded by broken boards and tubes! Shawn rolls over, and hooks the leg!*

Ref: 1!…..2!….3!!!!

*DING DING DING!!!

Crowd: *HUGE HEEL HEAT*

Bob: DAMMIT DAMMIT SON OF A BITCH

Winner: Shawn Shane Shields

*A battered, bloody Shawn rolls to his knees, a HUGE grin on his face! He’s handed the swordmaster belt, which he holds HIGH above his head!*

Ralph: And even with Aisha’s assistance, Gene STILL falls to Shawn tonight!

Bob: I TOLD YOU Gene wasn’t going to win!! >=|

Ralph: What’s Shawn doing!?

*Shawn slides out of the ring, and throws in Aisha’s body! Grabbing one of the tubes on the mat, he just SMASHES it over her head, sending her down to the mat!*

Bob: OH COME ON!!! THIS IS UNCALLED FOR!

*Shawn even hoists her up, and gives her a Pedigree Piledriver onto a bunch of tubes! Right after he does, he gathers up a bunch of them, and just CHUCKS them at Gene, who’s just starting to get up!*

Gene: X___X!!!

*Shawn picks up the last three bulbs, and smashes one over Gene’s right shoulder!*

*Then one right over his arm!!*

*The final lightbulb is shattered RIGHT over Gene’s right hand! It splits his firing arm open and blood begins to gush down on the canvas! It’s brutal.. but the Swordmaster Champion isn’t done! Using the now shattered end of the light tube remaining in his arms.. SSS raises it over his head, while stepping on Gene’s arm to keep it still.. He’s planning to END Starwinds NRA career for good!*

Bob: DON’T DO IT! DON’T DO IT YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! NOT EVEN YOU CAN GO THIS LOW!

Ralph: I think he can! >___< !! I think he can!

*The crowd suddenly pops HUGE as The Grand Champion sprints down to the ring and slides in! SSS drops the weapon and leaps out of the ring STAT! "Testing" kicks up as the swordmaster champion retreats to fight another day.. William scowls at his future opponent, before checking on Gene and Aisha’s welfare.. two people that just ONE week ago pulled out all stops to beat his ass!*

Bob: WOW that was a close one.. Great save by our Grand Champion!

Ralph: I thought he had the night off! Is he RIPPING his own shirt and putting it on Gene’s arm?!

Bob: That he is! What a guy this kid is!

*William calls for EMTs who rush down to attend to Gene and Aisha after the beating they just sustained, while on the top of the ramp.. Sugar Shane glares down at the Champion with a smirk on his face, the broken lighttube still in his hand…*

SSS: e_e..

William: e_e..

Bob: William doesn’t get his hands on Shawn tonight, but you damn well bet that he’ll get the opportunity next week as UCTF returns with Only The Strong Qualifiers! For Ralph Gerrard, this is Robert Hinden saying goodnight!

*The UCTF logo flashes across the screen one last time before fading to black..*

*The cameras begin to roll, and we’re on the inside of the Presidential Office! That’s right.. The President of the UCTF is back, and he’s ALREADY called someone into his office! But who? The cameras slowly pan around the room to show a quivering “Military” Champion in the seat across from Vegeta..*

Vegeta: e_e… So.. you’re Seth Conway.. huh?

Suicide: o_o… *nods*

Vegeta: I see.

*Vegeta stands up, almost causing Suicide’s soul to jump right out of his body!*

Vegeta: Nice belt ya got there.

Suicide: … ^_^ thanks.

Vegeta: …..So, what IS the name of that belt you’re carrying around anyway?

*Vegeta GLARES at him*

Suicide: the m..m…military title?

*The president chuckles a bit.. then gets RIGHT into Suicide’s face!*

Suicide: O_O!!

Vegeta: …let me ask you that question again. >:|

Suicide: ;_;!!

Vegeta: WELL?!

Suicide: …..the ani..me.. title?

Vegeta: Damn Right. >:| You just saved your own job. Now get out!

*Suicide jumps out of his seat and attempts to scurry away!*

Vegeta: CONWAY! >:|

Suicide: O_O…… y..yes?

Vegeta: e_e. Find Kei and Yuri, and have them come to my office NOW.

Suicide: *GULPS* yes sir! >_< !!! *RUNS*

*The scene then flips back to the UCTF Arena in Anime City! Thousands of fans in attendance cheer as they see themselves on camera! In the commentators booth.. We see Bob Hinden, Ralph Gerrard… and JEICE! They’re all laughing their asses off after the last scene…*

Jeice: ^_^ The Big V is back to normal! I love it! Teach those little mucks some respect!

Ralph: LOL! X_X

Bob: We’ve got our president back, the UCTF is safe, and everything is right in the world!!

>:o(|)!!!!!!!

Bob: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeice: What the hell is your problem mate?! >:|

Bob: x_x.. yo… you guys didn’t just see that?!

Ralph: See what?!!?

Bob: …. o_o …. nothing…

*Jeice looks over at Bob, who’s almost completely white!*

Jeice: Damn man.. you look like you’ve just seen a ghost!

Bob: x_x…

Ralph: uhh.. Bob, aren’t you going to call out the matches for tonight?

Bob: yeah.. x_x…. ahem…. Tonight we have Six of our main titles on the line! One of those is the Intergalactic Title, which Raven Darc puts on the line against Shawn Shane Shields in the main event!

Jeice: That’s right! Shawn wants to get back at the size queen who turned his back on him at the last pay per view!

Ralph: Size queen? o_o?

Bob: Right now, we’re going to our fi—

!!ALRIGHT PARTNA!!

Jeice: ..uh oh..

Ralph: >=( Aw, anything but THIS!

Bob: x_x

!!JUST KEEP ON POSIN! YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!

*THAT’S RIGHT! “Posin” starts up on the sound system and the fans start to give some serious heel heat! The boos and catcalls are so loud that the whole damn arena is shaking and the theme song can barely be heard!*

!!PULL YA PANTS UP! PULL YA PAAAAANTS UP!!

!!VROOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*And at that, the pink VW Bug roars out from behind the curtain and down the ramp like all get out! Unfortunately, the Saikyo-mobile gets barraged by an almost endless stream of beer cans, popcorn bags, and other fast food waste products! Hell, some brave fan’s even tossed the damn trash can at the car, which bounces off as it skids to a halt! And, yep, out comes the stable known as Pink Tsunami!!!*

Fans: >=\ BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Bob: X_x That’s some reaction!

Ralph: x_x You’re telling me! And Dan and crew haven’t even been around for the past seven weeks!

*Stepping out, and ducking a couple of tossed hot dogs, are the Hurricane (TM) and Mr. Satan! Next out is Joe Higashi who almost gets his ass booed out of the damn arena! The camera catches a close up of a deranged fan holding up a Joe action figure… with a hunting knife stuck through its head! Johnny Cockring steps out wearing his dapper suit and a smug smile, ignoring all the yelling!*

!!POSIN POSIN POSIN POSIN POSIN!!

*And finally, to the BIGGEST eruption of heel heat felt in a long time, Grand Champion Dan Hibiki sidles out of the Bug, flourishing the Grand Title!! Heh, but the fans seem to take a little solace in the fact that he’s still wearing that wire contraption keeping his mouth shut*

Bob: Here’s the Grand Champ! ^_^ Alright! Looks like his jaw is still broken!

Ralph: LOL! Good! That means we don’t gotta listen to any more of his bull plop!

*BUT THEN!!!*

Dan: *RIPS OFF THE DEVICE* OYAJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

Everyone: X_X!!

*”Posin” fades in the background but the boos sure don’t! The crew slides on into the ring and take to the four ring posts! Dan swings the belt over his shoulder like a certain electrifying person of sports entertainment fame, executing the Shaking Fist of Saikyo-ryuu with his free hand! The cameras zoom in on the several “Ryo Got Robbed” posters! Eventually, when the crowd’s too hoarse to scream at him anymore, Dan hops down and brings out a mic!*

Dan: ORA! HAH! It is I, the GREATEST GRAND CHAMPION in the HISTORY of the UNIVERSE! OYAJI!!!

Fans: >=| BOOOOO!!!

Ralph: Dude, I don’t think he should go around saying stuff like that.

Bob: You’re telling me! I bet there’s a lot of former Grand Champions out there who might not take kindly to Dan mouthing off like he usually does!

Dan: HAH! But as the GREATEST team leader ever, I can’t take all the credit for my glorious victory! YAHOOIE!!

Bob: Can’t take all the credit?? All he did was stand there taking a beating!

Ralph: Well, you gotta admit, after what Ryo put him through I’m amazed he isn’t dead!

Bob: o_o Got a point there.

Dan: So let me give you the privelege of meeting the GREATEST stable in the HISTORY of the universe! But for that, let me turn it over to the man who got it all started, Senor Cockring!

*The manager grins and shakes Dan’s hand! After taking the mic, Johnny starts to pace around the squared circle as he speaks*

Johnny: Thank you, Daniel! Now, ladies and gentlemen, is this the prime example of a Grand Champion or what?

Fans: JOHNNY’S A SLUT BITCH! *CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP* JOHNNY’S A SLUT BITCH!

Johnny: >=| SHUT UP OR I’LL SUE YOU ALL FOR SLANDER!

Fans: x_x

Ralph: Holy shnikeys! They went quiet!

Bob: X_x Most likely cause they know he’d win.

Johnny: Now, as I was saying, you are witnessing history in the making, UCTF fans! For I have assembled the most powerful force of fighters that this federation has ever, and will ever see in its entire life! First, we have the strongest superhero known to mankind! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, run faster than a speeding bullet, and mack on twenty different super models at once… stand back, citizens…it’s the Hurricane!!

*True to form, the Hurricane does his spinning crouch taunt!*

Johnny: And then, a legend in his own time, we have the Martial Arts Champion of the World… he’s the unstoppable juggernaut who’s taken out such evil menaces as Cell and Bojack, his string of victories includes not a single loss, and he’s a nice guy to boot! Welcome Mr. Satan!!!

Mr. Satan: HAAAH! *Double Victory hand signs!*

Johnny: Next, the pride of the Muay Thai fighting circuit, the Prowling Tiger, the man who’s ready to go all the way to the top…please welcome Joe Higashi!!!

Joe: >=) *raises his fist*

Fans: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Ralph: Damn! Joe’s really getting razzed down there!

Bob: I don’t blame the fans, Ralph! Joe betrayed his former stablemate and friend by costing him the Grand Championship!

Johnny: Finally, the Master of Saikyo-ryuu, the GREATEST fighter in the universe, also known as the Southern Dandy…. Welcome your Grand Champion, DANIEL HIBIKI!!

*It’s a good thing the UCTF’s got earthquake insurance or else there’d be no one to pay for the damages done by this eruption of heel heat! Dan takes it all in stride, doing a quick Saikyo Roll and hopping to a thumbs-up position!*

Dan: ORAAAA!!!!

Johnny: And now that you’ve all been introduced to the most powerful fighting force in the UCTF today, the Grand Champion wanted me to make a special announcement to those would-be warriors, cowering in the locker rooms!

Ralph: o_o This can’t be good.

Bob: =\ You know, I’m getting really tired of these guys’ egos.

Johnny: Daniel Hibiki now challenges the FOUR most WORTHY opponents back there who THINK they can even match him for the Grand Title! That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, Daniel is willing to face four opponents in a Fatal Five Way for the most coveted belt in fighting history! Daniel is issuing this challenge to the four contenders underneath his grand status, if they have the cojones to accept for the next Pay-Per-View event extravaganza!

Bob: Heh! Maybe now he’ll finally get the beating he deserves!

Ralph: I dunno. I got a bad feeling about this one..

Johnny: But this won’t be an ordinary Fatal Five Way! Oh no! Daniel, just what kind of Fatal Five Way will this be? *hands the mic over*

Dan: >=) ORA! HAH! This will be a Fatal Five Way Electric Dome Barbed Wire Bomb match, Johnny! HAH!

Bob: X_X Not another one of these damn gimmick matches!

Ralph: Electric Dome Barbed Wire Bomb?! X_X!! The hell?!

Johnny: *takes back the mic* The full rules will be announced IF the challengers have the guts to accept! Until then, UCTF fans!

*”Posin” kicks in again and the crew prepares to leave the ring…*

Bob: Well, there you have it! Dan’s issued a challenge to the four contenders underneath him to settle who really will hold the Grand Title!

Ralph: x_X I can’t watch!

!!THIS MEANS WAR!!

*BOOOOOOOOOOM!!*

*It doesn’t take a high IQ to know that “War Ensemble” has just started, and that could only mean one thing… Hystalin DeWarrloc has come to the scene! The “jacked up bitch” chants start up almost immediately, which the female saiyan doesn’t take too kindly. In her hand is a microphone, and in her eyes are unadularated rage!*

Crowd: JACKED UP BITCH! JACKED UP BITCH! JACKED UP BITCH!

Hystalin: >:|!!!!!!!!!!

Bob: Uh-oh…

Ralph: This can’t be good! I know it can’t! >_<

Hystalin: So, Pinkie… I was in the back, and I couldn’t help but listening… you’re challenging the top four contenders? Gee, I’m surprised to hear that you’ve finally grown some balls and offered a challenge. If you are offering shots, you’ll have to deal with me… because upon that list… I’M AT THE TOP!!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Hystalin: I don’t give a flying fuck what match I have to go through. I don’t give a shit about who I have to go through! Bring on your hurricanes! Bring on your legal strategies! Bring your weaklings and traitors you have surrounded yourself with. Hell, bring on whoever you want to bring into your match. I’ll mow them all down! Then, when the dust has settled and the match will be over… someone will rise a true champion! That will be ME!

Crowd: *GOES FUCKING BALLISTIC!!!!!!!*

Hystalin: I only have one more thing to say to you, Danny… ORA-ORA THIS, YOU SON OF A BITCH! >:| *GIVES HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER*

“Well isn’t this lovely?”

*Symphony of Destruction kicks up on the Jumbotron, announcing the arrival of none other than everybody’s favorite “false Saiyan”. Covetous saunters out from the back and starts up the ramp. None too pleased with his appearance, the crowd starts to make rude gestures in his direction, their throats too horse from razzing Dan to boo. He signals for the music to stop and addresses the gaggle in the ring.*

Covetous: I don’t know how well you and you’re entourage thought this out Hibiki, I’d be willing to bet this whole thing was Cockface’s idea. However, I can GUARENTEE that you, the lawyer, AND the rest of Pink Tsunami will regret it.

*Covetous reaches the ring and steps over the ropes. He looks over to Dan and then speaks again.*

Covetous: Surprised to have gotten TWO responses already Dan? You shouldn’t be, there are so many people here who want to kick your ORA-ORA ass I’m surprised this ring isn’t swarming with challengers.

*Covetous then turns to Hystalin, who is already seething with rage from Dan’s challenge and the crowd’s taunts.*

Covetous: I feel that since I DEFEATED the number one competitor for the grand championship in her long awaited match at Winter Warfare, that I should be one of the first to accept this outrageous offer.

*Covetous turns back to Daniel.*

Covetous: So let it be known Saikyo-ryuu master, you already have two of the most powerful fighters in this entire fed participating in this Dome Bomb Don’t Whiz on the Electric Fence or whatever match.

*Pausing, Covetous shakes his head.*

Covetous: To clear things up, it’s nothing personal, strictly business. As far as I’m concerned Hystalin, I feel no need to hound you any further, I already proved myself at Winter Warfare. However, what goes on INSIDE the ring is another matter altogether. And as for you, I can’t see how anybody can have personal issues with somebody as inane as you. I just thought you two might like to know that you’ve got some competition. Daniel, until we meet in the ring, Hystalin, Likewise. I’m looking forward to Ailura’s next visit. ^_^

Hystalin: >:|!!!

*”Symphony of Destruction” replays as the now self proclaimed Number One Contender leaves the ring! Hystalin turns to the Pink Tsunami stable and lunges toward them like she’s going to strike.. EVERY member falls to the ground in fear!*

Hystalin: HMPH!

*The Jacked Up one leaves, more pissed than she was before she came down the aisle!*

Ralph: LOL!

Jeice: oh great… another gimmic match where Dan gets beat down to a bloody pulp! What’s this guys major malfunction???

*The scene flips backstage, where Current Dustmaster and Tag Team Champion, William Clarke walks through the back after working out in the UCTF Gym.*

Jeice: and Damnit! When is there going to be a match tonight!?!?! >:| Damn Sports Entertainment bullshit…

*From the other corner… our basketball sized senor janitor Happosai sprints through the aisle with a large vask in his hand. The very vask that he received in the mail at the Last UCTF Pay Per View! The hentai custodial engineer turns the corner at the same time William does!*

William: O_O!

Happosai: O_O!!

!!WHAM!!

*William hits the floor, and the large vask of red liquid shatters over his head and spills the entire contents all over his shirt!*

Happosai: o_o.. YOU FOOL!!

William: >_< aww damnit! What is this?? >=\! It’s RANK! X_x

*William stands up, smells himself and wretches*

Happosai: DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE JUST DONE?!!? >=|

William: Yeah, spilled Skunk piss on me or something! >=(

Happosai: That was a very powerful Pheremone you just ruined!! I was going to take over the UCTF with that and you screwed it up!!!!

William: e_e! Whatever. I’m going to take a shower now. I’ll pay you back or something old man.

*William goes into his room and locks the door.. Happosai is behind him SCREAMING*

Happosai: THAT’S THE LAST OF IT’S KIND YOU MORON!! >=|!!

*From another location in the arena.. the mixture of William’s sweat and the pheremone travel through the air…*

Aisha: *Sniff* O_o Meow? …… H_H! MEOW!!

Jeice: …

Bob: …

Ralph: …

Jeice: You know.. that doesn’t look good for the kid..

Bob: I’ll say X_X.. Well! Let’s go to our first match! IT’s going to be Mr.—

*The cameras go BACK to Vegeta’s office! This time sitting in front of him are the Vice Presidents… Kei and Yuri!*

Jeice: DAMNIT!!

*They’re already talking.. err arguing about something.. so everyone quiets down to hear what’s going on!*

Kei: but Mr. Vege—

Vegeta: Quiet you! >=|. Let me get things straight.. Just because you guys got TIRED of doing your jobs.. dealing with insurance companies and repairing desetroyed arena.. you both took it upon yourselves to DESTROY my Mecha Arena?!

Yuri: Well we—

*Vegeta stands up and puts both hands on his desk!*

Vegeta: YOU’RE BOTH FIRED! >=|

Everyone in the Arena: O_O!!!

Kei and Yuri: o_o… ;_;!!!

Vegeta: GET OUT OF MY OFFICE! >=(!

*They’re thrown out of his office immediately after being fired! The crowd doesn’t know what to say… but Ralph does..*

Ralph: NO!! NOT THE DIRTY PUPPIES!! ;_;!

Jeice: o_o two more bite the dust!!

Bob: good LORD! o_o.. fired…

*Back in the office, Vegeta picks up the phone*

Vegeta: >=| Secretary.. call in ACRAPHA.

Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!!!

Jeice: uh oh.. >=) I can’t wait to see this!

Bob: Well anyway, our first match is FINALLY about to go underway! Mr. Hero will take on Dustmaster Title Contender, Jonathan Casto!

Mr. Hero vs. Johnathan Casto

*First up, “Locomotion” hits the sound system and out comes Mr. Hero! The two-headed robot clanks on down the ramp and towards the squared circle, faces locked in determination! Normally, newbie’s don’t get much respect from the fans cause they don’t know what to expect…but this time the silence is more to the fact that Mr. Hero ain’t your typical looking fighter*

Fans: o_o….

Bob: o_O…uh, and here’s Mr. Hero. I think.

Ralph: The hell? Did some whacked out mad scientist take over Hasbro or something?

Bob: I dunno about that, Ralph, but he does look imposing!

Jeice: Yeah, about as imposing as a frogurt stand.

*Then, “Alive” starts to play and the fans give a nice little welcome to Johnathan Casto! The brawler rushes to the ring like a bat outta hell! Not even waiting for the match to start, Johnathan leaps over the top rope and wallops Mr. Hero with a flying kick! The sound of foot on metal sounds curiously like the bell!*

(Ding!)

Ref: o_O….uh..okay..

*The match has begun! Mr. Hero’s hardly fazed by the flying kick attempt and he barely moves an inch! Once Johnathan’s landed on his feet he barely gets enough time to duck a haymaker punch from the robot! Mr. Hero doesn’t let up as he takes a stance known to pugilists everywhere…then starts throwing those jabs! One, two, three of them tag Casto in the face and daze him! Rearing back, Mr. Hero winds up his arm and…*

!!BLAOW!!

Ralph: Holy shinkeys!

Bob: What an uppercut by Mr. Hero! Johnathan has GOT to be in serious pain!

Jeice: X_x

*Johnathan kips up to his feet a little worse for wear but still going strong! As Mr. Hero misses with a round-arm belter, Johnathan snakes in and hits a beautiful drop kick to the robot’s chest! Stumbling backwards, Mr. Hero’s unable to fight back as Casto follows up with a harsh foot to the gut, then a classic DDT!!*

!!BLAOW!!

*The brawler tries to make the fast cover! The ref slides down!*

Ref: 1..

*KICKOUT! With AUTHORITY! Johnathan gets sent flying and its only his good reflexes that let him land feet first on a turnbuckle instead of on the cement outside face first! While the robot’s clanking to his feet, Johnathan sees his chance and he leaps off the turnbuckle, leg outstretched!*

!!BLAAAAAOW!!

Ralph: x_X OUCH!

Bob: My lord! That must have felt like running into a steel girder!

Johnathan: X_X

*That’s right folks! At the last second, Mr. Hero was able to get his systems in check and notice Casto soaring in for the kill! Too bad for the brawler that instead of smashing Mr. Hero with a flying kick, he got smashed by flying into the robot’s extended fist! While Johnathan’s lying there in pain, Mr. Hero turns around so that his back’s facing him… he crosses his arms… and then starts to lean back..*

Bob: Uh oh! Is Mr. Hero going to do what I think he’s going to do?!

Jeice: This is going to be one painful splash!

!!WHAM!!

Fans: >_< OOOOOOOOOOH!!

*Yep, Mr. Hero has just let his metallic body crash onto Johnathan on purpose! The robot lies there for the pin and the ref slides down to make the count!*

Ref: 1..2..

*Shoulder up! Shoulder up! Johnathan isn’t down and out yet! And as Mr. Hero starts to drag him to his feet, the brawler delivers another powerful kick into the robot’s midsection! With his opponent dazed, Johnathan rears back and tries for his own haymaker punch!*

!!CLANG!!

Johnathan: x_x

Jeice: LOL! LOL!

Bob: Amazing! Mr. Hero’s metallic body made Johnathan hurt himself!

*Getting a little tired of this, Johnathan simply leaps up and smashes his heel down onto one of Mr. Hero’s head, denting the metal! Keeping up the tempo, Casto hops up again and delivers another crushing blow to the other head of the robot! And then a devastating roundhouse floors the Big Steam Machine!*

Bob: Johnathan with the comeback! Can he keep this up?!

Ralph: Damn dude. I betcha his toes get blisters after this match up!

!!BLAOW!!

*Jumping heel stomp! Casto stays down for the pin!*

Ref: 1..2..

!!THWOOOOOOOOOSH!!

Ralph: Geez!! I didn’t know he could do that!

Bob: What a way to break a cover! Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Hero isn’t finished yet!

*Yep, of course it’s all thanks to his steam cannon that he hasn’t lost! The high-pressure blast of power tossed Johnathan off of Mr. Hero and sent him crashing down on the mat! Lightly seared, Casto gets to his feet a little groggily… and then hits a sweet scissor kick that almost floors the robot! Almost isn’t the same as actually happening, and it’s Mr. Hero who comes back with a jaw-cracking hook punch!*

!!BLAOW!!

*Taking the initiative back, the robot then wraps his arms around Johnathan… and then falls forward like a red wood tree!*

!!CRASH!!

Everyone: X_X OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!

*Mr. Hero stays down for the cover!*

Ref: 1..2..3!!

(Ding!)

Bob: Well, it looks like Mr. Hero wins his debut match! Nice job to both him and Johnathan Casto!

Ralph: X_x Ugh…damn two-headed steam powered robots. Why can’t there be more puppily-endowed women around here?!

Bob: ~_~

*”Locomotion” starts up again as the ref helps both fighters to the back!*

Winner: Mr. Hero

Bob: Well.. that was interesting to say the least! O_o

Jeice: yeah.. -_-

*The scene flips to the backstage! We’re in the presidential office AGAIN! This time, Acrapha is in the hot seat!*

Jeice: HERE WE GO!! >=)!! FIRE HER ASS! FIRE HER AAASSS!!

Bob: uh oh..

*Vegeta pets his Pikachu doll sitting on top of his desk..*

Vegeta: so Acrapha.. e_e.. How have you been?

Acrapha: Great! *^_^*

Vegeta: that’s good. =| Acrapha.. the reason I called you in here is because… well… I heard you’ve been using my Big Bang Attack and Death Driver finishers in your matches.. is THAT correct? >:|

Acrapha: well.. o_o yeah..

*Vegeta picks up the pikachu doll and carresses it’s head*

Vegeta: I see. Well, let me ask you this. Have you asked permission to do those moves?

Acrapha: O_O no but I thought–

*VEGETA RIPS THE PIKACHU’S HEAD OFF*

Vegeta: YOU’RE FIRED!! >=|!!!

Acrapha: O_O!!

*Acrapha .. STARTS WAILING! Then she jumps over the desk and glomps him!!*

Vegeta: GET OFF OF ME! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!! YOU’RE FIRED!! SECURITY!!!

*DOZENS of heavily armored police officers storm the office and DRAG Acrapha’s bratty Saiyan ass out of the arena by her arms AND legs to a HUGE ovation!! It’s an embarrassment to the world of fighting! Jeice is at the commentator’s table LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF! He’s about to piss his pants!!*

Jeice: MY RIBS!! MY RIBS!! LOL!!

Bob: oh man.. that was embarrassing..

Ralph: yeah.. I felt sorry for Acrapha… almost……

Bob: Well Jeice, you ready for the next match? It’s going to be–

*As Bobby looks at the Orange Crusher.. Jeice’s head morphs into a demonic face!*

Bob: O_O!!!

Jeice: e_e WE ALL FLOAT BOBBY BOY!

Bob: AHHHHHHH!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!?!?!

Jeice: *SLAPS HIM* >=| SHUTUP WITH THE CURSED SCREAMING!!

Bob: o_o…

Ralph: ……. you’re on drugs…

Bob: am not.. >_< ! I think I Just might need a vacation that’s all..

Jeice: Mate! Just go get something to drink or something. Ralph and I can handle this next match.. o_O..

Bob: yeah.. ok. >_<

*Bob gets up and leaves the set*

Jeice: ….that guy has lost his marbles..

Ralph: damn right.. o_o

Suicide vs. Taki

UCTF ANIME Title

Jeice: Well! Me and Ralph are gonna call this one without any help from Bobby boy, and it’s going to be for the title I made famous.. th.e UCTF ANIME Championship!

Ralph: Yeah, and the title Suicide has held twice! He’s only been in the UCTF for about two months and he’s held the belt as many times as you! What do you think about that?

Jeice: ….Shutup! >:| I remember the GOOD ol days when guys would win titles and KEEP them!

*”The Cursed Image” kicks up over the arena! Just as one would expect, a huge ovation erupts! The lone survivor of the Bus, Taki makes her way down to the ring! Who would be the first to say something??? Heh.. you know..*

Ralph: NINJITSU PUPPIES!!!

Jeice: Heh! Yeah.. if I didn’t have a pregnant girlfriend listening to every word I say at home.. x_x.. I’d have a comment..

*The number one contender hops to the apron in a single, effortless bound. Then, using the ropes as a spring, she flips twice and lands in the center of the ring in an impressive display of balance and agility …. and bounce. LOTS of bounce!*

Ralph and Jeice: H_H!

*Next, Rammstein’s “Links 2, 3, 4” kicks up! The Current Two Time Anime Champion, Suicide walks down the aisle! Fresh off of his defeat at the hands of Jubilee and the tag team champions, the already shaken up Suicide tries to ignore the tirade of boos coming towards him tonight!*

Suicide: …

Jeice: Heh! I bet Suicide’s gonna be looking over his shoulder all night after his meeting with Vegeta at the top of the show. >=) I don’t blame the guy! Vegeta’s THE intimidator, and I don’t mean Dale Earnhart!

*He climbs into the ring and walks towards the ref, preparing to give him the UCTF ANIME Title.. but right as the ref reaches out for it.. the evil kid changes directions and nails Taki in the back of the head with it! She goes down after the unexpected attack, and gets stomped in the back repeatedly!! The ref comes in between the enraged solider and the ninja, and attempts to pry them apart! But Suicide TOSSES him aside, and goes back to work in classic heelish style!*

Jeice: oh shit! O_O I think since he can’t kick Vegeta’s ass, he’s taking his frustration out on Taki!

Ralph: Don’t bruise the puppies!!

*Once Taki is positioned in the center of the ring, Suicide comes off the ropes with fury, and connects his signature axe kick to the back of the head! She goes down, giving Suicide time to come off the ropes and nails a second to add insult to injury! Not waisting one moment, Suicide walks over Taki’s downed body and locks on the Fujiwara Armbar!*

Suicide: >=|!!!

Jeice: o_o Nice Fujiwara armbar! It doesn’t look much better than that right there! He’s gonna rip her shoulder out of her socket too!

Ralph: Yeah! Then maybe she’ll need help putting on bras!

Jeice: …

*Suicide has so much leverage on the hold, that he’s literally standing on his feet, leaning backwards with all his weight! The pain is unbearable.. and it looks that Taki’s going to do either one or both of two things.. Tap out.. or Pass out from the pain! She grabs onto the bottom rope with her free hand, and out of desperation, KICKS her aggressor in the side of the face, displaying amazing flexibility!!*

Ralph: o_o.. I need to change my pants…

Jeice: damn.. I didn’t know body parts could move like that… willingly.

*The hold is broken! Suicide jumps to his feet and comes off the ropes towards Taki, who’s favoring her arm. The ninja suddenly goes to the ground, preforming her Reaping Hook Kick! Suicide feet are knocked right from under him, and he flies THROAT FIRST onto the top rope! The Anime Champion bounces from the taped up cable and sent to his back!*

Crowd: OOH!!

Ralph: holy crap! That could have crushed his esopha… >=| His throat!

Jeice: -_-… see what happens when you don’t finish high school mate?

*Grasping his neck, Suicide stumbles back to his feet! He looks down to see Taki crouched under him.. just waiting for that perfect opportunity to strike! And she does! Two powerful feet are driven into Suicide’s chest, not only knocking him off his feet, but onto the top rope!*

Suicide: X_X!!

Jeice: ooh! Not a nice way to land on the top turnbuckle!

Ralph: His little soliders won’t be marching after that one!

*Taki leaps to the top rope, and delivers a super plex from the top rope, using JUST her uninjured arm to power the kid over her head! After crashing on top of his head.. Suicide is just about helpless in watching his opponent leap back to the top rope!*

Suicide: ;_;!!

*The ninja leaps off the ropes, preforming two beautiful backflips in midair! Right as she lands, Suicide miraculously catches her legs, and rolls her to her face, locking on a Boston Crab!*

Jeice: X_X! The boston Crab reversal! Damn that’s sweet!

*Once again, Taki finds herself in a painful submission manuver, and she tries to twist and contort her body around in attempt to knock Suicide off balance, but the Anime champion leans the opposite direction! She suddenly changes directions and rolls to her stomach! Suicide slips and falls on his back as well Somehow Taki springs upward, putting her weight on the champs chest, and folding up his legs!*

Ref: 1……2….

*The surprised champion somehow kicks out of the hold! Taki flips off of her hands and lands back on her feet. When suicide gets up, she goes for a savate kick! Suicide catches it, then spins her around! The ninja twirls around, and is lifted into the arms of the Champion!*

Ralph: Ninja puppies going up!

*She finds herself in the firemen’s carry! Suicide snaps her back into the “Court Martial” finisher!!*

!!WHAM!!

Crowd: OOOH!! O_O

Jeice: Court Martial!

*He covers the ninja with the leg hooked!*

Ref: 1……..2……..3!

!!DING DING DING!!

*That’s right! It’s over as quickily as it started! Suicide has successfully defended his Anime Title in an impressive preformance!*

Ralph: Damn.. I don’t think Taki even saw that move coming! She’s not moving either! e_e maybe I should go down there and revive her..

Jeice: HEH! Go ahead! I’d love to see you get a beating!

Winner and STILL UCTF Anime Champion: Suicide

*Suicide snatches his title and rolls out of the ring before storming out of the arena! Meanwhile.. Bobby Hinden finds himself in the bathroom washing his face*

Bob: >_< … damn, I’m losing my mind…

*After getting a refreshing splash of water to the face… Bob looks into the mirror and squints his eyes..*

Bob: e_e What in the hell is going on with me?!!?

*He can hear a rattling coming from the pipes below.. he looks into the drain of the sink.. where a HUGE blood bubble begins to form! It grows to the size of a basketball, before EXPLODING all over the sink, the mirror AND Bob!*

Bob: …AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

*Several UCTF fighters run into the bathroom to see what’s going on!*

NNNN: O_o.. What!?!?!

Bob: o_o… you can’t…

*Obviously, none of the fighters can see the blood splattered all over the place, so Bobby quickily covers his tracks!*

Casto: we can’t what??

Bob: nothing.. I thought I saw a rat or something… e_e…

*The fighters ALL laugh at him, then leave the room*

Bob: ……… ;_;!!

*Bob rolls up in a ball, and cries like a BITCH! Meanwhile, in another part of the complex.. Current Dustmaster, William Clarke finishes getting dressed after washing out the chemical Happosai spilled on him..*

William: ^_^ Now THAT’S better…

!!WHAM WHAM!! !!SMASH!!

William: *BITCH SCREAMS!*

*Walking through the hole in the wall that USED to be a door is Aisha Clan Clan, of the Ctarl Ctarl empire! She’s wearing NOTHING but a robe!*

Aisha: H_H… Our Shower’s broken… Can I use yours??

William: o_O… uhh.. I guess so….

Aisha: Meow! H_H THANKS!

*The camera flips angles to a view between Aisha’s legs, right as she derobes in front of William! The young Dustmaster Champion just about PISSES his pants in fear!*

William: O_O!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

Aisha: COME HERE YA BIG MAC!!

William: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*He FLIES out of the room with a nude Ctarl Ctarl chasing right behind him! Next, We cut back to Vegeta’s office. He’s sitting behind his desk, with a crying…bride O_o…sitting in a chair opposite him. She’s been crying twenty minutes straight without stopping, not even to tell him why!*

Vegeta: >_< *rubs his temples* Can you please tell me what you want?

Kittie: He…he… ;_; *cries a damn river*

Vegeta: >=\ I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.

Kittie: *chokes back her tears* It’s Rott. He told me he loved me, said he’d marry me, but then he, he, he…. ;__;!!

Vegeta: e_e Let me get this straight. This is Rott, the son of a bitch Rott, who said he loved you?

Kittie: Yes.

Vegeta: LMAO!! That’s a funny story-

*Kittie can’t take it! She runs forward and <i>plows</i> her head into Vegeta’s shoulder, sobbing in a way only a broken-hearted girl can! He looks down at the cat-girl, who’s curled up on his lap like a newborn kitten. He stares at her for a few seconds, stunned that she’s clutching him like a father….and….his cold heart gushes! Genuine compassion fills him as he sees this girl crying on him.*

Vegeta: e_e Tell me everything.

Kittie: ;_; You’ll help me?

Vegeta: e_e Anything you need.

Kittie: *sniffs* well… he….

*She leans in and whispers something in the Prince’s ear.. something that he DOESN’T like!*

Kittie: And when we made love, he promised me then he would marry me!

Vegeta: Let me get this straight: He said he loved you, and wanted to take you to bed?

Kittie: Yes.

Vegeta: And he said he’d marry you.

Kittie: Yes. But when he didn’t call, I went and got the rings and made the proposal.

Vegeta: ……..I saw the Flaming Fist he gave you. >=|

Kittie: ;_; What am I going to say to my parents?! Its tradition he marries me! I just need one chance to get him.

Vegeta: O_o What have you got in mind?

Kittie: >=)….

Rott vs. Tira Misu

Interplanetary Championship Match

Jeice: oooh boy.. What is that little girl up to?? I smell TROUBLE for This man who’s about to defend his title!

*”Hell’s Bells” kicks up over the soundsystem! Sauntering to the ring with an unusual glow about him is The current Interplanetary Champion, Rott! He is EXTREMELY happy tonight.. probably because of the sicking display of “affection” he showed for the Gothic catgirl at the last pay per view, almost breaking her in half with the flaming fist technique!*

Rott: ^_^..

Crowd: BOOOO!!!

Ralph: Ladies and Gentlemen tonight’s Saturday Massacre has been brought to you by local gangsta rap station WBALLZ. Everybody wants to hear the shit! On WBALLZ!!

Jeice: And Atomic Enemas! We don’t care if you have a turd as hard as a cement block! You’re gonna blow up the bathroom after using us!

*The camera flips over to a group of demonic looking guys sitting in the front row.. but these aren’t your everyday devil worshippers.. they’re hard metal group.. GWAR!*

Gwar: e_e…

Jeice: What the hell??

Ralph: Hey! That’s Gwar!! Are they UCTF fans??

Jeice: nah, I think they just made a wrong turn on their field trip to hell o_o

*”Naked Girl Falling Down the Stairs” starts up next, which brings out the Strong Woman 2000, Tira Misu! In her eyes is a pure look of LUST! Rott’s IP championship isn’t the only thing on the line tonight.. his dignity is right along with it!*

Tira: H_H!!

Rott: ….

*Tira slowly, seductively walks up the stairs, and enters the ring through the second rope.. Rott remains in his place, both arms crossed… As she walks towards the chain smoker.. he suprises her by unleashing both Colt .45s from his holsters, and unleashing a barrage of bullets!*

Tira: O_O!!

*After both clips are emptied out, Rott grabs the stunned challenger and immediately starts with the third stage of the Flaming Fist technique, and takes her through EVERY stage, including the devestating Palm thrust to the nose!*

!!CRACK!!

Tira: X_X!!!!!!!!!!!

*The sickening pop is the sound of Tira’s cartilidge snapping from Rott’s finishing attack!*

Jeice: Good Lord!

Ralph: O_O! He killed her!

*Rott keeps a chokehold on the unmoving opponent, smiling evilly at his work!*

Rott: >=)!

Tira: X_X……… H_H!!!

Rott: O_O!!

*She wraps her legs around the Interplanetary Champion and quivers with orgasmic spasms! (I can’t believe I’m typing this! >=(!) As Rott freezes in fear.. she looks up at him and BEGS…*

Tira: YES!! YESS!! MAKE ME YOUR WHORE!!

Rott: X_X!!

*He responds swiftly with a BITCHSLAP, sending her to the mat with a big red hand mark on her face! After prying her legs apart, he takes a page out of the jacked up manual of Hystalin, and STOMPS a mudhole into crotch of the masochist with his BIONIC leg!*

Tira: X_X!!!!!!!

*With both of her legs locked firmly in his grip, he heaves Tira into the air, and back down in an impressive backbreaker!!*

Rott: >=|!!!

*With one arm on her face, and the other on her thigh, he attempts to break her in HALF over his bionic knee!*

Tira: X_X!! OH YES!!!

Rott: O_O!!!!

!!WHAM!!

*He pounds her in the throat with a buffalo knuckle!!*

Tira: X_X!! *GOES LIMP*

Jeice: SHOOT THE BITCH WITH A KI BLAST!

Ralph: o_o I don’t think he does ki blasts!

Jeice: Something’s gotta be done about these masochist sluts man! >=|!

*Rott stumbles over into the corner in exhaustion! With his free hand, he pulls out a cigarette, and lights the sombitch up*

Rott: -_-..

*While taking a drag, Tira SITS UP like the damn Undertaker with lust in her heart!*

Tira: H_H!!

Rott: WTF?!?!?! >=|!!

*Rott’s PISSED. After two moves that would mortally wound an average person, she’s STILL up and ready for more “punishment!” Rott throws his cigarette to the wayside, and begins charging! Before he can attack, she clocks the champion in the gonads! He stops dead in his tracks, as she unleashes her cat-o-ninetails and snatches him right off of his feet!!*

Rott: O_O!!

!!THOOM!!

*He ends up on his ass! Tira goes down to her knees and.. goes for Rott’s Zipper! Once the zipper is un-done, Tira goes for the goods… FACE FIRST! Rott grabs her by the face just in time and fights to keep her at bay!

Tira: H_H!!

Rott: What are you doing?!!?!?

Tira: Let me kiss it and make it feel better! H_H

Rott: HELL NO!

*He gives her a pieface, and immediately jumps to his feet to get away, but it’s no good, because Tira catches him with the thick, S&M style whip, and delivers a cat o nine suplex! Rott lands neck first, and bounces back to his feet, dazed and confused! That’s when Tira grabs a hand full of ballsack.. YES, Ballsack, and delivers her “Crotch Handle Slam!”*

Jeice: Ugh!

*While Rott tries to stand up… Tira goes to the top rope, and pulls out….. ~_~ I’m ashamed to even type this… a BLACK dildo! It’s the first and last thing Rott sees before being knocked back to his ass!*

!!WHAM!!

Rott: X_X!!

*It leaves an impression of a COCK on his forehead! Rott’s spread eagled in the center of the ring! Rott reaches up, feels the impression, and SNAPS!*

Rott: >=|!!!!!!!!

*He springs up to his feet in one fluid, capoeria movement, and spins towards Tira! With an array of Low stomping, roundhouse, low turning, high turning, and inside, outside crescent kicks, he takes the masochist down Hard! Not giving her a second chance to move, the interplanetary champion comes flying down with a flipping somersault knee to the throat!*

Crowd: OOH!!

Ralph: Ouch!!

Jeice: Yeah Rott! Kill her!

*Once on the top rope.. Rott reveals a switchblade implanted firmly into his boot! With this top rope manuver, he plans on putting Tira away tonight, and maybe for good! It would be a service to all mankind!*

Rott: >=|!!!!

*He leaps off of the top, with many people in the audience turning away with sympathy pains!*

Jeice: ^_^!! Here we go!!

Ralph: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!!?

*Ralph grabs Jeice by the head and pushes him under the desk just as a ki blast BLAZES past the both of them! It curves down the aisle, and into the ring!*

Rott: >=|!! O_O!!!

!!BLOOOOOOOOOOM!!

Rott: X_X!!!!!

*Rott lands on his feet, smoking like he just took a long walk through hell! On the jumbotron, a Large widow’s peak having, large vein bulding head appears! It’s the president!*

Vegeta: ROTT! In my office.. NOW!!!

Rott: O_O!!

*Tira grabs him from behind, and snaps on the “Octopus” submission! Rott struggles all he can, but it’s too over powering! That, and the fact that he’s fearing his life at the hands of Vegeta! He TAPS like Gregory Hines on Speed, and the match is over!*

!!DING DING DING!!!

Jeice: AWW DAMNIT!!!

Ralph: THE PUPPIES WINS!! AMA–

Bob: ZING!! NEW INTERPLANETARY CHAMPION!!

Ralph: DAMNIT!! SHIT!!

Bob: I’m back! ^_^!!

Winner and NEW Interplanetary Champion: Tira Misu

*Rott rolls out of the ring, holding on to his aching abdominals.. but now he has something worse to worry about.. VEGETA!*

Rott: -_-…

*meanwhile in the ring.. Tira celebrates her new sexy toy, the IP title!*

Tira: H_H!!!

*We’re backstage once more, and there’s William! Somehow, William gets away from his Ctarl Ctarl attacker, and leans against a wall somewhere in the bowels of the UCTF complex, trying to catch his breath… That’s when a chinese girl walks up to him… a friend of World Champion Jann Lee!*

LeiFang: umm… Hi.. I’m kinda lost. ^_^.. I’m looking for Jann Lee’s dressing room.. can you……… H_H.. show me the way?

William: …… o_o…. uh oh…

*Using lightening speed, he turns around and takes off through the backstage area, with the kung fu fighting hottie right on his tail!! Using quick “Cop Evading” manuvers, he dives into the dressing room of Former World Champion, Guy! After locking the door, he falls to the floor! He can hear some footsteps nearing him*

William: x_x… Hey.. Guy… I know we’re not that cool an all.. but can I use your dressing room to hide? Something crazy is going on here! …..Guy?

*He looks up, to find himself BETWEEN the legs of Maki!*

Maki: …….Guys not here. H_H!!

William: O_O!!!

!!BLOOOM!!

*William jumps THROUGH the door, where Aisha AND LeiFang are waiting for him!

William: O_O!!!

*The Chase is on AGAIN! Elsewhere… The FORMER Interplanetary Champion finds his way into the office of Prince Vegeta, who summoned him with a power “Big Bang Attack” earlier on… He arrives at the door, smoking as usual, then knocks on it.*

Vegeta: Come in.

*Rott opens the door, a slight grin on his face. It, and the cigarette, drop when he sees Kittie standing next to him!*

Vegeta: e_e

Kittie: >=)

Rott: O_O;;

Vegeta: *eyes flash red* So you think you can use my little girl like that?

Rott: O__O She’s your daughter?!?!

*Vegeta reaches over and BITCH slaps Rott right in the mouth!*

Rott: >_< !

Vegeta: No you FOOL. But I have a young, sweet and innocent flower JUST like her! >=| And when I heard about what you did.. I thought about MY Bra. Would you do that to MY little girl!?!?

Rott: x_x What are you talking about?!

!!BLAOW!!

*Rott gets BLASTED across the room and into a near wall*

Rott: X_X!!

Bob, Ralph & Jeice: X_X OUCH!

Vegeta: e_e You’ve got two choices. I kill you right here…

Rott: >_< Or?

Vegeta: …you fight her next Saturday Massacre.

Rott: X___X ……….. -_- ok.. I’ll fight her.

*The moment those words slip from his mouth, the kitty pulls out a HUGE 586 paged contract, and SLAMS it on the table!*

Kittie: I HAVE A CONTRACT! ^_^!!

Rott: …….

*The president picks the bible sized book and reads through the ENTIRE thing in a matter of seconds! He can’t help but to… but to LAUGH!*

Vegeta: LOL!

Rott: ….!!!

*He turns over to Rott and slams the book on his hand!*

Rott: X_X!

Vegeta: >=| NOW SIGN.

Rott: o_o;;; *SIGNS*

*Vegeta puts the contract into his desk and locks it shut.*

Vegeta: e_e Now get out of my sight.

*Rott leaves faster than Bill Clinton can run to a McDonalds! He’s so fast his shadow is still on the floor!*

Vegeta: You too.

Shadow: ??? *runs out*

*We’re back in the UCTF Arena! Bobby Hinden is back at his post after thoroughly crying like a bitch in the bathroom! Now he’s ready to call the next match…*

Bob: We have an interesting match tonight as Jann Lee puts up his World Title against Lo-Ruhamah.

Ralph: Did you pronounce that right?

Bob: Pronounce what right?

Ralph: Ruhamah.

Bob: Ruhamama?

Ralph: Bruhaha?

Jeice: I do believe you two are going off topic, you twats.

Bob: Right, right. Sorry.

Jeice: Anyways, this fight is in a way one sided, Lo appears to be doing fine as we see that he is as always a pompous little shit. While Jann is still recovering from some hand and collar bone injuries.

Ralph: Why does everyone talk about Jann Lee’s injuries? I remember when I sprained my wrist, did I get any attention?! Noooooo.

Bob: Your injury was self inflicted!

Ralph: -_- I retract my statement from the record.

Jeice: Well here comes the challenger, Lo-Ruhamah.

Bob: Ruhameh?

Jeice: Don’t start with me. :-| BTW.. about the Rott Slap… can we.. SEE THAT AGAIN?!!?

!!SLAP!!

Jeice: LOL!! AGAIN!!

!!SLAP!!

Jeice: 6 TIMES IN SUCCESSION!!

!!SLAP!! !!SLAP!! !!SLAP!! !!SLAP!! !!SLAP!! !!SLAP!!

Jeice: NOW DO THE MATRIX!!

!!SLAP!! !!PAN AROUND THE ROOM!!

Jeice: LMFAO!! X_x.. ok, let’s go to the next match!

Jann Lee vs. Lo Ruhamah

UCTF World Champion Title Match

* “Have Mercy on Me” plays as the lights dim, Lo comes out wearing a dark green leather robe as he saunters with a purpose down to the ring. He walks up the stairs as he removes the robe and wears his white jacket and vest arrangement. The crowd boos him as he tilts onto a turnbuckle. *

Ralph:*Sean Connery Impression* My name is Bond…James Bond.

Bob: Look at Lo test the ropes, you can see he is very determined to get the prize of World Champion tonight on Saturday Night Massacre.

Jeice: He is such a wanker.*rolls eyes*

* “Natural High” blares through the system as the lights flash back on, Jann walks down the ramp the belt around his waist showing the respect it deserves, the fans cheer. He still has bandages on his hands and collarbone as he walks up the stairs and stands on a turnbuckle as he shows off the plate of the belt to his fans. Flashbulbs flare as Jann shows the belt off with a persistant look in his face. *

Ralph: Jann Lee looks kind of nervous tonight, perhaps scared that he is going to lose?

Bob: No way, he isn’t that badly injured.

Jeice: He’s just taking this seriously, give the guy some bloody slack fer christ’s sake!

* Jann drops to the mat as he puts the belt down and goes into his JKD stance. *

Jann: Don’t think I’m gonna let up because I’m injured, I’m gonna make you realize who you’re really fooling.

Lo: The only person you’re fooling is yourself if you think you’re better then me.

* Lo sparks a white flame from his hand, somewhere in the world both Kyo and/or Iori scoff in unamuement. Jann looks at Lo with a shake of the the head. *

Jann: That’s pretty snappy, you probably have no problem lighting a fart if you needed to.

* Lo extinguishes the fire as the two dash toward each other Lo kicks off the fight with a high front spike kick, which Jann counters and attacks with a hard elbow strike to the face. Lo comes back with a backwards Yakuza Kick. Jann Lee gets floored and rolls out of the way from a what would of been a well placed groin stomp. Jann gets back up with a well placed jump and with quick timing dodges a Holy Punch leaving Lo open for a High Shin-Knee Kick into a Dragon Spike, Lo reens down from the Dragon Spike to the stomach but attacks back with a high angle flying Rosary Kick. Jann stumbles back into a turnbuckle blood trickling down his chin from a cut. Lo takes the oppurtunist path and dashes to the turnbuckle and chokes Jann with a boot choke. *

Lo: You’re nothing! You don’t deserve the belt!

Jann: Oh really?

* Jann grabs Lo’s foot, and, like taking a page right out of an old school Budo Teching Book, flips Lo like a rag doll. The fan’s cheer as Lo is slammed to the ground with the greatest of ease as Jann climbs the turnbuckle and flings himself off of it looking for a knee stomp. Lo quickly rolls out of the way as Jann clutches his knee not exactly hurting it but sort of blaming himself for making a move so gutsy without doing a little more action. Lo gets up and grabs a hold of Jann he delivers a high knee to the chest and elbows the still healing collarbone of Jann Lee. Of course Jann not being made of stone falls to his knees wincing in pain at the feeling of his collarbone being jostled. Lo grabs him by his hair as he looks an Armageddon Flare into Jann’s chest. *

Bob: Lo appears to be taking advantage of Jann’s injuries as he appears to be hacking the collar bone of Jann Lee.

Ralph: Is he allowed to do that?!

Jeice: This is a No DQ match the little twat is allowed to do whatever bab he wants. It’s all on a basis of principles. Which can be thrown out the window if you want something so badly.

* During the commentary Jann was taken out of his funk by the sting of the glare and gave Lo a well placed Dragon Blow to the bridge of the nose, knocking him off his feet. Lo’s hand was enveloped by a black force as he gets up and makes a slapping motion not even in his vicinity Jann is affected by these Chi Slaps as he is about to stumble back but he quickly regains his footing and with two steps his up in the air. *

~*WATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!*~

Jeice: Bloody hell! Did you see that?

Bob: Notice on the replay that Jann’s foot is aimed at about the same place his Dragon Blow was for this Dragon Kick, he appears to believe that Lo can be taken down by blows to the face.

* Jann lands perfectly square on his feet as he falls to the ground for the pin. *

*1, 2,*

* The ref notices Lo’s leg on the rope and declares Rope Break, Jann Lee gets up and brings Lo with him. Lo regains his senses enough to stomp on Jann’s feet and grabs him by his waist and gets him in a powerbomb position and with a huge ass leap into the air pulls off Welcome to Sheol. On impact Lo tries to regroup for a second one but Jann kicks out of the grapple, letting go of Jann. Lo then Leg Drops him and goes for a one leg holding back pin. *

*1..,2..KICKOUT!*

* Jann gets up first as he stalks Lo like an obsessed… thing. Lo gets up in the wrong direction and Jann kicks Lo’s foot up… *

Bob: Dragon Gunnery to the Knee.

Jeice: Sucks to be Lo.

* Sure does, as Lo appears to be clutching his knee in a newfound pain rolling on the floor but gets up with a limp. Jann approaches and Lo shows his defense as he goes for a kick to the chest that Jann catches. As Jann was about to Budo flip him Lo’s grounded foot sets on fire with a bluish flame he twirls himself as he kicks Jann in the temple. *

Jeice: And Lo goes for the Rosary Insiguri Kick.

Ralph: A classic move with a little churchin’ in it.

Bob: Such force shouldn’t be given to such a pressure point as the temples. >_<

* Jann struggles to get back up he can’t hear a thing as he hears his ears popping from the pressure of a Rosary Kick to the Temples. He practically doesn’t remember where he is as Lo sneaks up and spins Jann around and goes for a Holy Punch to the face that Jann slaps away and with a movement to his back foot. *

~*YAAAAAAAATAH!~*

* The Dragon Knuckles is performed Lo is flung back by the sheer force of the awesome blow. He slowly gets back up as Jann runs toward him about to give him the mother of all Dragon Kicks, quickly Lo brings his arms up like a preist forcing the in mid air Jann to lie flat as he feels his spine bending by an unknown force. Performing the Surrender your Soul submission Lo was also putting some extra pressure on Jann’s Collar Bone as the Chinese Man feels it slightly fractuirng from it’s almost healed state. *

Lo-Ruhamah: Surrender the belt like the mere peon that you are!

Jann: I do not submit for that is not with the Art of Not Fighting.

Lo-Ruhamah: Then I will just have to…-_- ugh.

* Lo phases out a little as Jann Lee is let go of the submission he flips on to his feet and brings Lo closer to him as he executes five hard fast open palm thrusts he brings his leg back and practically touches his injured temple with his toe as he lets Lo have at it with a hard kick to the neck sending him flying into the center of the ring. Practically assed out from the Way of the Dragon Lo stays down as Jann runs up on the top rope and lands on Lo’s Face he starts grinding his face in with his heel and gets off as he is about to pin the fallen theologist he falls down cold. Grasping on to his head and shoulder. The ref comes up and raises both arms they fall to the ground. Once, Twice, about to go for the third time when Lo’s almost stays up but then falls. The ref motions to ring the bell calling it a draw. *

Bob: And the entire ordeal ends in a draw after both have endured pain upon pain.

Jeice: Quiet you, this match has been nothing more then a ten dollar bag full of dog shit taco supremes. I am not amused.

Ralph: Damn! neither of them are getting up.

* The bell ring is like an alarm clock to Lo as he regains his senses and crawls over to the still out Jann and pins him. He smacks the mat with his foot trying to get the ref’s attention. *

Lo: I would like a three count right about now.

Ref: To hell with that, you both were assed out it’s a draw!

Lo: WHAT?! BUT I’M RIGHT HERE!

Ref: My decision is final word dammit!

Bob: Lo is still trying to win, but he can’t! He has blown his one shot at Jann’s World Title.

Jeice: LOL! That’s to bloody funny! Don’t make me laugh while I’m drinking or you might make me angry!

Ralph: And so by default Jann is STILL the World Champ.

* Lo is now on his feet as he is trying to talk the ref into starting the match back up. *

Ref: No! Screw you!

Lo: What?! SCREW ME?!

* Lo’s right eye twitches as he sees the amount of blood flowing from his broken nose the red blood all over his white tuxedo jacket. *

Lo: O_o*twitches* I’ll…I’LL KILL YOU!

* Lo pushes the ring announcer out of the chair and folds it back up and smacks the ref on the head clonking him out. *

Lo: ALL OF YOU! I’LL KILL YOU ALL!!! YOU’RE ALL GOING TO THE LIVING HELL THAT IS PURGATORY ON A BULLET TRAIN CALLED LO RUHAMAH!!!!

Jeice: LOL! He’s probably pissed because he knows how hard it is to get that much blood out of a jacket, with out the use of a true professional dry cleaner!

* Lo runs over to the ring staff and beats every one of them to the ground. He yells and curses in hebrew in full anger blood is spewing from one of the production assistants. Fans are booing him, some are actually trying to stop the madness as they go over the barrier and try to calm him down. But Lo will not as he beats them into a bloody pulp.*

*Somewhere in the crowd.*

Yin: -_-

Yang: O_o

* As Lo finishes up the people around the ring he looks up and sees EMT’s caring for the injured Martial Artists. He slides in yelling. *

EMT 1: Dear god, Concussion, Greenstick fracture of the collarbones and hands.

Lo: Let him go! Our match isn’t done yet! *smacks chair on the mat*

EMT 2: I’ll cover, get him on the stretcher!

* The EMT run towards Lo and goes for a tackle Lo evades with a simple spin and smacks him in the face with the chair. Now other Refs were running down the ring as well as other EMT’s and Lo takes them out with hard chair strikes to the face. One after another up to about 15 Referee’s and 7 EMT’s. Lo looks around and with a heavy breath walks towards Jann’s prone body he scares the EMT away as he releases Jann Lee from his stretcher very groggy as it is from a concussion Lo places the man at a turnbuckle and pummels him with the chair, he then drops the chair and picks Jann Lee up into a DDT Position. *

Bob: Will someone please stop this now?!

Jeice: Sucks to that! Anyone going down there is looney!

* Lo smacks Jann in the face with a double armed DDT face first into the chair, Lo looks among the carnage and blood and sees at the turnbuckle the World Title. Lo walks up and picks it up and looks at it in wonder as if he had seen the Holy Grail itself. *

:Lo: …*drops the belt and leaves*

Bob: O_o; Well I guess we’ll be right back right after a word from one of our sponsors and while you’re gone we’ll get this mess taken care of.

* While the commercials play EMTs and Refs come out to sort from all of the assed out bodies a replacement ring staff is called in to continue on. *

Winner: DRAW, Jann Lee still World Champion by default

Cameron Baine vs. Euridice Reed

*“1/3” by Siam Shade starts up on the Jumbotron. Coming toward the UCTF ring is Cameron Baine. The women in the audience swoon at Cameron’s presence. One female fan throws a thornless rose to Cameron, which he catches in his right hand. Cameron takes a whiff of the flower and smiles while slipping into the ring.*

Bob: It’s time for the NRA match!

Ralph: Damn… this guy has so much luck with the women! They’re fawning all over this guy!

Bob: Yeah…

Ralph: Lucky son of a bitch! :|

*The current NRA Champion is experiencing a respectable pop, but then… “Sweating Bullets” comes on the Jumbotron. Everyone there knows what is about to happen. Euridice Reed comes toward the ring, his Sig Sauer ready in his hand. Cameron looks to Reed, knowing what is going to happen very soon!*

Bob: It’s Reed!

Ralph: Dude… do you remember when Reed played Russian Roulette with Garshrink Grimjaw at Carnage?

Bob: Don’t remind me! X_X!

Jeice: I saw a tape of that… heh… wasn’t that bad… e_e

*Reed is now in the ring. Cameron can see Reed coming toward him. Reed wastes no time in pistol-whipping the bishounen with his gun! Thus, the bell sounds!*

*DING!*

Bob: Damn! The fight started up fast!

Ralph: Yup!

Jeice: Now to see someone good old ass-kicking!

*Reed fires a bullet from his Sig Sauer toward Cameron. Fortunately, Baine moves out of the way, the rubber bullet barely grazing his left cheek. Cameron decides to take action by unleashing his Cold Steel Bites technique upon Reed. Reed ends up on his knee. Cameron nails a field goal kick upon Reed, knocking him on his back. Just before Cameron can do anything with Reed down, Reed gets up and pulls Cameron by the ankle, making him trip. While Cameron is on his back, Reed jumps to the corner of the ring and takes action.*

Reed: Heh… try this one on for size, pretty boy! >:|

*Reed goes for the Three-Finger Flick upon Reed as he gets back on his feet. The dagger and the shuriken misses its mark but the powder bomb hits Cameron in the face, spreading powder upon the bishounen’s face. As Cameron reels from the attack, Reed takes the initiative and whacks him on the jaw with his nightstick! Reed goes for the downed Baine and picks him up for a brainbuster!*

Bob: Damn! That had to hurt!

Ralph: Is it me or these NRA matches are using less and less guns? o_o?

Jeice: I dunno, mate…

*Reed stands up and tries to grab Cameron by the neck. Before the referee can make the count, Baine pulls out an AMT Hardballer and fires a shot toward Reed. It hits Reed’s shoulder, and the challenger reels back, tending to his wounded shoulder. During this time, Cameron gets back on his feet, Baine not liking to be pushed around as he is so far in the match. Cameron pulls out another AMT Hardballer and starts firing round left and right upon Reed! Reed can see the blasts speeding his way and jumps out of the ring, narrowly avoiding Baine’s ballistic barrage.*

Cameron: Where are you, Reed? You cannot hide away from me forever!

Reed: Shit! That guy is getting smarter. This is not going to be easy… >_<

Jeice: Heh…

*Cameron jumps out of the ring to pursue Reed, the referee coming with him. Reed can see Cameron coming after him. He quickly makes his way in the back, Cameron closely following him. Now that the two are in the back, the fighting resumes. Now that Reed and Baine are face to face, Cameron tries to pistol-whip Reed. However, Reed catches Cameron and reverses it into a Six Seconds Magic! Reed pulls with all his might, try to make Cameron submit.*

Bob: Damn! The fight is going to the back!

Ralph: Cool! ^_^

Bob: I thought you only like a match where there are “puppies” involved.

Ralph: Yeah, but if this match gets some puppies, and it’ll be perfect! ^_^

Bob: I had to open my big mouth! ~_~…

Jeice: Remind me to kick his ass later… :|

*Reed kicks Baine upon his chest. With Baine kneeling, he goes for a DDT, but Baine somehow reverses into a Northern Lights Suplex, sending Reed upon a pile of metal bars lying on the floor. Cameron picks Reed up, Reed slightly dazed and tries punching him on the face several times. Then, he throws Reed to his left, Reed ends up hitting some wooden crates. Reed gets up, but he does not see Cameron behind him, holding a wooden crate in his hands!

*WHAM!!!!*

Reed: X_X!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH!!!!

Bob: Shit! That had to hurt!

Ralph: He’s going to be feeling that in the morning! >_<

Bob: *cough*pussy*cough*

*Reed falls on his back, which gives time for Cameron to unleash another technique. With only one of his pistols, Reed aims for a particular spot on Reed that everyone KNOWS is vulnerable. Seconds later, Reed empties his gun upon Reed’s groin. Reed awakens with shock and pain going in and out of his body, Reed gripping to his swollen testicles!*

Bob: UGH!!!

Ralph: WHEN WILL THEY STOP DOING THAT?!?! X_X!!!

Jeice: Blimey… even I can feel it! >_<

*Cameron pins Reed on the floor, the referee makes the count. Just when the referee gets to 2.875, Reed found the strength to get up after having several bullets pound away at his nutsack! The crowd breathes a collective sigh of relief. Unfortunately, Cameron isn’t having much luck now! Reed starts beating Baine with his nightstick until everyone can see Cameron developing a bloodied, bruised face. The women in the audience scream in horror, the beauty has been tarnished!*

Cameron: How dare you ruin my beautiful face! >:|

Reed: Heh… it wasn’t that beautiful to begin with, asshole!

*Cameron goes for the Symphony of Slaughter upon Reed, but Reed manages to dodge the lion’s share of all the attacks Cameron tries to land upon him. Then, with his nightstick, Reed nails Baine upon his swollen stomach. Cameron stops momentarily to tend to his stomach. Meanwhile, Reed breaks something out from his pocket… a brass knuckle! He slips it on his fist and waits for a time to use his newly acquired weapon!*

Bob: Oh shit! Brass knuckles?!

Ralph: I think he tore a page out of William Regal with this one, but still… you KNOW it’s gonna hurt bad!

Bob: *cough*ripoff*cough*

*Cameron turns around, but when he turns to Reed, Reed has unleashed a brass-enhanced punch right to Cameron’s face! If you look close enough, you can see a drop of Baine’s blood falling on the floor! Many people in the crow are having sympathy pains. Some even pass out!*

Cameron: X_X!!!!!

Reed: Heh… nice try!

*As if that’s not enough, Reed pulls something from the pile of wooden crates… it’s a bazooka! The crowd starts screaming, for they know if that makes its mark, it could be over for Cameron!*

Bob: SHIT! A BAZOOKA?!

Ralph: If Reed uses this, someone will be calling Cameron’s next of kin really soon! >_<

*Reed pulls the trigger, but it wasn’t toward Cameron, surprisingly. Instead, the rocket flies upward to some rigging suspended in mid-air! Seconds later, everyone nearby can hear the sound of a small explosions, following with the sound of metal bending and breaking! About ten seconds later…*

*WHAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob: OH MY GOD!!! O_O

Ralph: I cannot believe he did that! He let some metal equipment fall on Cameron!

Bob: He could have killed him!

Ralph: X_X!!!!!!

Jeice: Oh please… I’ve seen worse… e_e

*Reed lights up a Marlboro. The referee checks on Cameron to see if he can continue the match. Unfortunately everyone watching can plainly see that Cameron is out cold! The ref calls for the bell, and the match ends!*

*DING! DING! DING!*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob: AMAZING! NEW NRA CHAMPION!

Jeice: Ack! You screamed in my ear, you idiot! >:|

Ralph: How can you think of that at a time like this?!

Bob: I just did, didn’t I? e_e

Ralph: >_<

*The referee hands the NRA belt to Reed. Reed holds it up with his left hand and looks upon himself in it as if it was a mirror. He throws his cigarette to the floor and puts it out with his foot. He leaves the scene while several EMTs try to pulls Cameron out of the wreckage.*

Winner and NEW NRA Champion: Euridice Reed!

*We’re in the back once again, where William Clarke looms in the darkness… hiding from the crazy females who’ve been chasing him all over the complex!*

William: ;_;… I think it’s safe to come out….

*He walks into the light.. the EXACT same time new IP champion, Tira Misu walks around the corner!

Tira: …..H_H!!

William: ……

*What does he do? What do you think? >=| He turns around and takes off! After passing an unmarked door.. about 45 more women burst out, all with the same lustful looks in their eyes!*

William: ;_;!!!

Mitsurugi vs Melvic Lillith

Swordmaster Title Match.

*”Demanicus Island” is keyed up, drawing a number of boos from the crowd, as the loudmouthed swordsman Mitsurugi makes his way down to the ring*

Bob: Mitsurugi earned this title shot a few weeks ago when he defeated Zvi of G!

Jeice: I’ll say he did! That bollocks stabbed Zvi’s bloody EYE out!

*Mitsurugi slides into the ring, and demands a mic from one of the ring crew members! But before he can talk, “Fuck You Up” starts playing, getting a decent pop from the fans! Melvic makes his way down to the ring, with his sword at his side, and his belt across his chest!*

Mitsurugi: JUST a moment, Melvic. >=|

Ralph: Oh GOD… -_-

Mitsurugi: I’m only going to warn you now… this match isn’t about you… it’s about ME, and how winning that swordmaster belt will put me one step closer to attaining my goal of ridding this world of the firearms users. >=|

Crowd: *BOOS*

*Melvic slides into the ring, and stares down Mitsurugi*

Mitsurugi: So if you wouldn’t mind… I WILL allow you to concede this match to me… give me your belt… and I won’t harm you in any way.

Bob: Oh, come on!

Jeice: Some wanker he is! He doesn’t want to fight!

*Melvic looks down at his belt, unsnaps it, and holds it up. He then holds it out to the side, shrugs his shoulders, and SPITS right in Mitsurugi’s face!*

Crowd: *POPS!!!*

Mitsurugi: o_< …. >=| You WILL regret that.

*Mitsurugi quickly whips out his sword, and rams the handle into Melvic’s face, as the bell sounds!*

*DING, DING, DING!!!*

Ralph: One cheap shot deserves another, I guess!

*Melvic staggers back a couple steps as Mitsurugi attempts to slice him! Melvic manages to deflect one slash, but Mitsurugi follows up with another, which cuts open the front of Melvic’s shirt! Melvic quickly does a handstand backflip into the corner to get out of Mitsurugi’s sword’s range!*

Melvic: *pants*

Mitsurugi: HEEEYYAAAHHH!!!

*Mitsurugi hops forward, and pokes Melvic three times with his sword! The sword opens up three tiny wounds on Melvic’s chest!*

Melvic: >_< !

*Mitsurugi then follows up with a kick to the gut! Melvic doubles over, and Mitsurugi lines up his sword on Melvic’s NECK!*

Ralph: Oh NO!

Bob: I CAN’T LOOK!

*But RIGHT as Mitsurugi’s about to behead him, Melvic charges forward and tackles him to the ground! Forgetting about his sword, Melvic climbs on top of Mitsurugi, and starts laying him out with a flurry of punches that would daze even a UFC fighter!*

*TWACKTWACKTWACKTWACK!!!!*

Mitsuriugi: x_x…

*Melvic starts to get off, but as he does….*

!!!!CRRAAACKKK!!!!!

Crowd: OOOOOHHH!!!!

*He kicks Mitsurugi RIGHT in his nuts!!*

Mitsurigui: X_X!!!!!!!

Jeice: LMAO!!!! Oh, that was CLASSIC!

*Mitsurugi rolls on the ground in pain, as Melvic runs to the far ropes, then goes into an asai moonsault off the second rope, with his sword extended! As he lands across Mitsurugi, he opens up a long cut across his chest!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!

*Mitsurugi rolls over in pain, leaving a blood trail on the mat! As Melvic gets up, the ref initiates the ten count!*

Ref: 1……2…….3…….4…..

*Mitsurugi rolls over towards the ropes, and starts pulling himself up! The ref reaches seven when he’s back up to his feet!*

Ref: He’s up! Match continues!

*Mitsurugi turns to Melvic, and wipes the blood off of his chest with his hand! He then grips his sword, and charges! Melvic is able to dodge his first wild slash, but Mitsurugi kicks Melvic in the gut, then slashes him across the arm! Melvic goes down to one knee, and Mitsurugi drives his own knee into Melvic’s face!*

Melvic: X_X…

*Melvic falls back to the mat, but Mitsurugi isn’t done! He picks up Melvic by his hair, then whips him into the ropes! He sheathes his sword, then brandishing it like a plank of wood, SMACKS it across Melvic’s forehead! Melvic hits the mat, and the ref starts the count!*

Ref: 1…….2……..3……….4……….5…….6…..

*Melvic stirs on the mat, and starts to get up! But when he gets to one knee, Mitsurugi knocks him RIGHT back down to the mat, this time down on his chest! Mitsurugi then draws out his sword, and holds it above his head! The crowd is going nuts, and some even look away!*

Bob: OH SHIIIIII-

*SHUNK!!!*

Crowd: >_< !!! OOOOHHH!!!

*Mitsurugi STABS the sword right THROUGH Melvic’s shoulder! Melvic SCREAMS out in pain, and struggles to get up! But, the sword is stuck IN the mat as well! He can’t move!!*

Ralph: oh, that’s SICK!!

Jeice: o_o… He’s pinned his bloomin’ arse to the mat like he was a bug in some kid’s collection!

*The ref hesitates for a moment, and starts the count!*

Ref: 1….

Melvic: AAAUUGHHHH!!!

Ref: …..2…

Melvic: EEAAAUUUGHHH!!!

Ref: Oh, fuck it. RING THE BELL!!!

*DING, DING, DING!!!!*

Winner and NEW UCTF Swordmaster Champion: Mitsurugi

Bob: AMAZING! NEW SWORDMASTER CHAMPION!!!

Ralph: UGH! Hell of a way of going about it! >_<

Jeice: You’re telling me… crikey… >_<

*Mitsurugi smirks, and yanks his sword out of Melvic! Melvic lets out a relived sigh, and rolls out of the ring! Mitsurugi just wipes the blood off his sword, sheathes it, then takes the Swordmaster belt from the ref. Meanwhile… the camera goes to another portion of the building… and to a shot of a “SSS” logo on the back of a navy blue leather jacket! The camera pans back as the person turns around, and it’s Shawn Shane Shields, (as expected… ^^;;). Susan TellaRusso is there with him, holding a UCTF mic*

Sue: Shawn… tonight you face Raven Darc for the third time in your career… but for the first time, you two won’t be on the same side… your thoughts?

Shawn: *sighs* I knew that my path would eventually cross with Raven again… just not like this, Sue. >=| I trusted Raven… I really did. I respected him as a fellow wrestler and as a friend. But Sue… that man, demon, whatever it is I’m going to fight tonight… that’s not the Raven Darc I know. And you know what? You can be damn sure that when you see me fighting him tonight… you’ll wonder how we EVER got along-

*Shawn’s suddenly cut off as his Tag Team partner William Clarke goes SCREAMING by! He’s being followed by about fifty women!*

Will: X_X!!! AAAGGHHHH!!!!

Women: H_H!!!

*They all run by, and when the dust clears, SSS is still standing there*

Shawn: e_e *ahem* Anyways…like I was saying… uhh… Sue? o_O

*Sue’s left, and has joined the crowd of women chasing Will!*

Sue: H_H!!

Shawn: e_e… right.

*Shawn just runs a hand through his hair, and leaves*

SSS vs Raven Darc

Intergalactic Title

*”Papercut” is keyed up, getting a fairly large pop from the fans, as out from behind the curtain comes Shawn Shane Shields, dressed in a blue leather jacket, and with a look of TOTAL determination on his face!*

Bob: Triple S here is uncharacteristically serious tonight!

Ralph: Well, maybe he knows what he’s up against.

Jeice: Damn right he better! I mean, he’s facing a bloody DEMON, right?

*”Die Mothah Fuckah Die” is keyed up next, which draws HUGE amounts of boos from the crowd, as Raven Darc comes out from behind the curtain, with a smirk on his face, and his IG belt over his shoulder!*

Bob: Raven may be the Intergalactic champion. but that’s probably the last thing on Shawn’s mind right now!

Ralph: Right now… he’s thinking REVENGE!

Jeice: Yeah, right… and he’s gonna get his arse whipped for it!

*Raven slides under the ropes, and into the ring. He drops his IG belt to the ground, then suddenly whips off his trenchcoat, revealing his demon form! His wingspan practically goes from one side of the ring to the next!*

Shawn: *gulps* o_o… >=|

*Shawn only drops his jacket to the ground, and gets into his fighting stance!*

*DING, DING, DING!!*

Bob: And here we go!!

*Shawn begins to circle around Raven as the demon just stands there, with his arms crossed! Shawn keeps his eyes on Raven… as if waiting for him to make the first move! Finally, Shawn breaks the stalemate by charging Raven, and trying to grab him into a headlock! But, right as Shawn grabs him, Raven powers RIGHT out of the move! Shawn jumps back up to his feet, but is knocked right back down by a kick from Raven! Shawn pulls himself up by the ropes, then charges once again! This time, though, Raven catches Shawn by the throat, and hoists him up into the air!*

Shawn: O_O!!

Raven: >=)

*Raven does a quick spin, then slams Shawn HARD to the mat!!*

Crowd: OOOHHH!!!

Bob: HUGE slam by Raven there!

*Shawn is down on the mat, coughing and trying to catch his breath! But Raven is right on him, and picks him up by the hair! Raven practically DRAGS Shawn over to the corner, and proceeds to POUND his head into the turnbuckle repeatedly!*

*THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!!*

*Raven KEEPS doing it nearly a dozen times! Finally, he lets Shawn drop to the mat, holding he head in pain! Raven smirks and gives him a stomp for good measure! The fans start booing him loudly!*

Raven: Feh… I’ll give them something to boo about…

*Raven picks up Shawn off the mat, and sets him up in the corner! He then kicks Shawn, and takes a couple of steps back! He holds out his palm…*

*BBZZZLAOWW!!!*

Shawn: YEEAAGGGHHH!!

*And fires a black thunderbolt into Shawn!!*

Jeice: Crikey! What’s that bollocks doing!?

Bob: He’s using his Black Thunder bolt attack!! Shawn’s in BIG trouble now!!

*Raven zaps Shawn with a few more bolts before yanking him out of the corner! He whips Shawn into the ropes, charges up his right arm, and DRILLS Shawn into the mat with a massive clothesline! Shawn’s body is twitching spastically on the mat, but Raven is not through with him! Raven grabs Shawn by one leg, steps on the other, and begins to PULL on it!*

Bob: And now he’s trying to pull Shawn’s leg out of the socket!!

*Shawn struggles and squirms under the Demon’s grip, but he refuses to give up! Raven FINALLY lets Shawn go, and Shawn pants while on the ground, holding his leg! But, Raven then proceeds to grab BOTH legs, flips Shawn over, and then places Shawn in a boston crab position… WHILE STANDING ON HIS SHOULDERS!!*

Shawn: X_X!!!

Jeice: Blimey! I know for a fact that on it’s own that move hurts like hell… but combine that with Raven’s weight on his back… Shawn’s GOTTA be going through hell now!

*Shawn is practically SCREAMING with pain, but STILL refuses to tap out! Raven lets go of the hold, and Shawn just LAYS on the mat, his body limp from pain! The ref goes over to check on him*

Ref: THAT’S IT! RING THE-

Raven: NO!!! >=| THIS MATCH ISN’T OVER!!

*Raven’s eyes are BLOODSHOT with hatred!*

Ref: o_o… nevermind then…

*Raven picks up Shawn’s body, and tosses it over his shoulder! He runs with Shawn, and SLAMS him back first into the turnbuckle! Shawn falls to the mat, breathing, but barely able to move!*

Bob: Oh come on… this is sick!

Ralph: Raven won’t let the ref end the match!! It’s only going to be over when Raven SAYS that it’s over!

Jeice: >_< I think we’re in for a LONG night then, boys.

*Raven drags Shawn’s body into the center of the ring, then locks on a body scissors on Shawn, along with a double arm wrench! Shawn yells out in pain again!*

Bob: The Tetra Demon Lock!! I bet if Shawn COULD tap out, he would be now!!

*Shawn continues to yell out in pain, but Raven waits nearly TWENTY SECONDS before breaking the hold! Shawn collapses on the mat, breathing hard, and STILL barely able to move!*

Ralph: This is a mismatch… LOOK at this!! Shawn’s DEAD!

Jeice: Not quite, but he WILL be if he doesn’t get out of there!!

Bob: o_o… Are you saying he should run like a bitch?

Jeice: Hey, there’s a time and a place to face down a demon… AND THIS ISN’T EITHER ONE!

*Raven gets up off the mat, then starts STRETCHING in the ring! The fans UNLEASH a roar of boos towards him!*

Raven: *smirks* >=)

*Suddenly, a bunch of CHAINS shoot out from Raven’s arm, and wrap around Shawn’s body! Shawn wrangles with them, but suddenly stops and yells out in pain as Raven sends a shot of electricity through them! Shawn’s body goes limp, but he snaps RIGHT back to attention, as Raven blasts him with another shot of dark energy!!*

Ralph: GOOD GOD! WOULD SOMEONE STOP THIS?! >=| THIS SHOUDN’T BE ALLOWED! A HUMAN versus a DEMON!?

Bob: But they’ve fought TWICE before!

Jeice: And did Raven use his demon form before? e_e

Bob: ….point.