Bob: LADIES AND GENTLEMENNNN... WELCOME TO THE SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER.. SUMMER CHAOS!!! Ralph: is that why we're playing Linkin Park in the background? Bob: EXACTLY!
*"What I've Done" by Linkin Park plays through the arena, as cameras catch glimpses of several fans supporting the UCTF product throughout the building..*
Bob: Tonight is the night we decide exactly WHO the best champion in the UCTF is, as Kunoi Ishigami takes on Inuyasha, Raven Darc, BB Hood, Lo-Ruhamah, and a mystery sixth man for the Biggest prize in the business! Ralph: yeah.. Uhh.. Speaking of Kunoi...
*"Water Pow" by B-Dash interrupts the commentators, and also ignites a fury of booing from the UCTF Capacity Crowd!*
Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, our opening match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first.. From Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan.. He is The ULTIMATE CROSSOVER TOURNAMENT FIGHTING LEAGUE'S GRAND CHAMPION... KUUUNOIIII ISHIGAMI!!!
Ralph: Wait.. Waitwaitwait... They're making the CHAMP COME OUT FIRST?!?! Bob: I..I guess so! Ralph: OH GOD THIS IS STARTING TO LOOK LIKE TXA E_E Why is Kunoi coming out FIRST in his match against John Crossett?!?! Bob: I don't know! Maybe he bugged Jeice or something!
*That's right, regardless of holding the highest prize in the business, Kunoi is being forced to curtain jerk at the beginning of the Summer's hottest pay per view!*
Kunoi: *grumble* e_e
*Once inside the ring, Kunoi's music dies down. A few seconds later, the lights go completely dim. A cold chill fills the ring, seconds before the Emo-est of Emo songs begins playing over the sound system... what's surprising, is that the song is sung by non other than John Crossett himself!*
sitting here...lonley...oh so loney wondering where you are now...will the day ever come where i get to see you again...or is it nothing more but a dream..i cant take this lonleyness anymore its bringing me down killing me inside. driving me insane.
DEEPER INSIDE I FEEL THIS PAIN ITS BRINGING ME DOWN IT HURTS SO DAMN MUCH DRIVING ME INTO INSANITY DRIVING ME INTO THE UNKNOWN MAKING ME WANT TO EXPLORE BUT IN THE END OF IT ALL ITS NOTHING MORE BUT THE LONLEY SOUL INSIDE!!!!!!!
driving down this souless road i wonder what will become of me what will happen to me. so i stop to think. is it even worth it anymore to take on this life. lonliess only driving me further..to want to find you to hold you in my arms. but im traped in a void im trying to reach out to you. but something keeps us a part
DRIVING ME INTO INSANITY... DEEPER THE THOUGHT I FEEL THE PAIN DEEPER INSIDE THIS INSANITY. DEEPER PUSHING THREW THIS CAGE.
im alone once again searching..to see if i can find my true self. lost in the lies ive been threw making me want to SCREAM!!!! my eyes bleed to blind to see whats really infront of me.
deeper i push threw the insanity deeper threw the hate and the lies pushing threw nothing more but a cage but in the end its nothing more its nothing more... ITS NOTHING MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but a lonley soul inside....
Bob: D: Ralph: what the hell...
Kunoi: -_- *sips Lariat*
*At the end of the song, ANOTHER kicks up, this time "In The Face of Anger" by Shattersphere begins playing before an EXPLOSION of pyro technics ignites on the stage! We're talking ten times the size of Kane's here! Finally, the eldest son of Sailor Galaxia, John Crossett, storms his way down the aisle!*
Arzie: And introducing next.. From Planet Kinmoku... The son of Sailor Galaxia and Broly... he is JOHN CROSSETTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!
Everyone: D:..
Arzie: ...HE'S RATED R FOR REBEL!!!!!!!!
Everyone: =(!!!
*Crossett lands inside the ring, poised for battle!*
John Crossett vs. Kunoi Ishigami UCTF Grand Championship Match (YEAH, GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH E_E)
Bob: WHEN DID IT BECOME A GRAND TITLE MATCH!?!? Ralph: NO CLUE BUT AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bob: KUNOI'S WILL BE FORCED TO DEFEND THE TITLE NOT ONE.. BUT TWO TIMES TONIGHT! Ralph: yeah.... two times.. e_e..
*OMINOUS WORDS, RALPHY! Anyway, INSIDE THE RING–*
John: He mabye the best fight utcf has to offer but i come from Yahoo and i also know what i am doing since.
Kunoi: What the fu–
*John only grins slightly looking back toward the others, John raises his arms turning around his black mane begins to flow like a wind as softly brushed upward. John's hair slowly lift up the tone of his hair fades from a jet black color to a golden rod , fading into crimson toward the tips of the hair flowing down his back. John's eyes slowly narrow with the entire arena area begining to rumble*
John: its a sad price to pay when underestimating the power i hold with in this being, Only to thoses blood worthy enough i seek to fight. i sit back and watch others then.. i unleash hell thats the way i work
Kunoi: ............
*John Accends off of the ground checking the reinforcment of the structure*
John: well..... seems like its only strong enough when i go threw the transformation... but not strong enough when i start fighting in the Legendary Super Saiyan form...oh well makes things more intresting
Kunoi: What the HELL are you talking about?!
*NOW IT'S TIME TO GET SERIOUS! John goes into his "Galaxia SSJ' level! As John Himself would explain, it is "Golden Hair with the addtion of the hair fading into crimson, the only diffrence with this form is the eyes turn crimson instead of the emerald green color. being only 6'1" wears a white out fit w/ the addtion of the red sash, golden gaunlets with a blue jewel in the middle, a golden neckless with a blue jewel in the middle. A waist band gold w/ a blue jewel in the middle, Golden boots with the exact same jewel"*
Kunoi: >=|!!!!
*Meanwhile, somewhere in Japan*
Makoto: Hey, Usagi. Did Galaxia ever have kids? O_o Usagi: *eating popcorn* not that I know of, but that weird steroid rage guy tried to attack me the other day o_o
*BACK IN THE RING, now powered up to the maximum that the UCTF ring can con–LMFAO–tain, John attacks Kunoi in a blur of crimson ki!*
!!DING DING DING!!
Ralph: THE MATCH IS UNDER WAY! Bob: THE UCTF GRAND TITLE MATCH! >=| WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
*Broly comes at Ishigami with a flurry of Z-fighting style swipes! The amalgamation of two universes, however, is shocked when the accomplished martial artist manages to block EVERY SINGLE strike he could muster! It's then that —whoops! Did I say Broly earlier? I meant CROSSETT! Anyway, it's then that Crossett realizes that he is.. In fact.. IN THE UCTF. AND NO ONE IS INVINCIBLE IN THE MOTHERFUCKING UCTF!*
John: O_O LOL fu–!!
!!WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMPPPP!!!
*It just takes ONE Buisaku Knee to put Crossett on the ground, rendering him COMPLETELY useless in the middle of the squared circle!*
Bob: GO TO SLEEP! GO TO SLEEP! GO TO SLEEP! Ralph: Why were you worried about the title being on the line ??? Bob: NO CLUE!
*Kunoi doesn't even WAIT for the referee to make the official decision, as he leaves the ringside, making his way up the ramp triumphantly!*
Fan: SO WHAT? YOU BEAT A JOBBER KUNOI! YOU STILL SUCK!
Kunoi: ..o_o
!!DUH DUH DUH!!!!!
*Kunoi whips around, prepared to bark insults into the UCTF fan.. However, he had NO idea what the fan had in store for him... from no where, a SAILOR MOON WIG is thrown over the Grand Champions head! That's right. Kunoi is now a blonde with Odangos!*
Kunoi: ..wh..what the
*Kunoi is confused as to why the fan would put his LIFE in danger by doing something so stupid, but he doesn't care, as the result will be the same regardless of the reason! He grabs the fan by the throat, preparing to strike!*
Kunoi: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YO–
!!USSSAAA—GGGGGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIII!!!
Kunoi: ..o.o
*Kunoi turns around and faces the ring to see John Crossett.. Now FOAMING at the mouth, with his full attention towards the Champion! Seeing those famous Odangos has caused Crossett to go ABSOLUTELY beserk! No longer holding back, He reaches the "LEGENDARY SUPER SAIYAN" level with just a twinge of a thought!*
John: USA........GIIII!!!!
*He explodes out of the ring, sending the ref flying!*
John: I AM YOUR H ELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Kunoi has LESS than a second to react! Everything is happening so fast, that his very LIFE flashes before his eyes.... err well.. Not really.. Instead, he has a vision! And in that vision is none other than the NEW UFC Light-heavyweight Champion, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson! He presses pause on his PS3 Dual Shock 3 controller, before looking back at Ishigami.*
Rampage: BOY. WHY YOU JUST STANDING THERE? HIT HIS CRAZY ASS WITH A RIGHT HOOK! >=|
*And with that, he turns his back to the camera, and continues playing video games!*
Kunoi: ...e_e!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!WWWWWHHHHAAAAAMMMMM!!!!
*THE RIGHT CROSS CONNECTS, putting John on the ground backfirst! Kunoi is INSTANTLY on top of him, pounding the SHIT out of the half saiyan, MMA style for a complete minute before the referee FINALLY dives in between them, pushing Kunoi several feet away while covering John Crossett with his body! Crossett tries to get up, wide eyed, with NO FUCKING CLUE where he is!*
John: O_O
!!DING DING DING DING DING DING!!
*The match is officially over, but not for Kunoi, who's now on top of both Crossett AND the Referee, pounding away in a rage! Several more officials rush to the ring, all trying to pull Kunoi off at the same time!*
Kunoi; sdlfkasdfljk YOU WANNA CHALLENGE THE BEST!??!?! YOU WANNA CHALLENGE THE BESTASLD;FKAJDS;FLJK YOU BETTER FUCKING BRING IT NEXT TIME! YODFU ABE3TSDF
Ref: GET HIM OUT OF HERE!
Kunoi: NO NO! GET HIM OUT OF HERE! GET THAT PIECE OF FUCKING *KICKING TOWARDS JOHN* OUT OF HERE!! >=|!!!!
Ref: SOMEBODY GET THE EMTS OUT HERE!
Everyone: D:...
Bob: ...I think the match is over.. Ralph: AMAZING! STILL GRAND CHAMPION!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Winner and STILL UCTF Grand Champion: (Wow, this reminds me of my first match, but this time it was totally justified o_o) KUNOI ISHIGAMI
*EMTs attend to Crossett, as someone FINALLY manages to talk Kunoi into leaving the area...*
Arzie: The following contest is scheduled for one fall...
*"Here Comes a Challenger" starts up (Gee.. This guy NEVER got a theme!) as the blue haired ruler of the underworld makes his way down the aisle!*
Fan: ..................................... LAHARL IS A SHIELDS!
Crowd: LAHARL IS A SHIELDS LAHARL IS A SHIELDS LAHARL IS A SHIELDS LAHARL IS A SHIELDS LAHARL IS A SHIELDS
Ralph: ah, shit! >=| Not this again! Bob: I'm surprised it took people this long to figure out he had blue hair... *shakes head*
Arzie: And introducing next.. From The Netherland... standing at five feet, three inches.. and weighing in at one hundred-twenty pounds... PRINCE LAHARL KRICHEVSKOY!!!!!!!!
Bob: Tonight, Laharl finally gets the opportunity to settle the score with Xamot after weeks and months of ridicule at the hands of the dark lord! Ralph: You know.. For someone who claims to be the ruler of the entire underworld.. This guy seems to lose A LOT. Bob: well– Ralph: And he's afraid of WOMEN. What the hell is wrong with this one?! You'd think after being alive for 1313 years, he'd have found some way to get rid of that affliction!
*Once inside the ring, the lights drop, before "Forever Torment" begins playing over the sound system! Xamot makes his way down the aisle, along side Laharl's most loathed enemy.. MELINDA!*
Ralph: LOOK AT HIM! HE'S ALREADY STARTING TO SWEAT THANKS TO SLAVE PUPPIES! >=| I mean, it's sad that even I could beat the guy if I brought a picture of Penthouse down to the ring with me and a sunny disposition! Bob: Ralph, calm down!
*Both parties are in the ring, and the bell sounds!*
Laharl vs. Xamot
Laharl: NOW, I WILL FINALLY PROVE THAT I AM THE STRONGEST DEMON IN NOT ONLY THE UCTF, BUT IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Xamot: uh huh e_e. Melinda.
*At the whim of his command, Melinda is instantly on the apron of the ring, shirt over her head!*
Laharl: ARRGGHHH!!!
*The sight of a feminine body causes literal physical pain to the prince of the underworld! Backpeddling in fear, and with a full on bloody nose, Laharl bumps into the much larger demon possessed body of Dre Alexander!*
Ralph: *sighs* pathet—
*With the flick of Xamot's ever powerful fist, Laharl is demon pressed from one side of the ring and out the other to a wave of cheers to from the crowd!*
Bob: DEMON PRESS AT THE START OF THE MATCH! Ralph: Start and finish x_x he shoulda roleplayed. Bob: What? Ralph: came prepared.. I mean he shoulda came prepared for melinda x_x Bob: ..O_o ok.
*Ralph is right, however, as the referee rings the bell! Xamot may have just beaten the record for the fastest UCTF win!*
Bob: Well the match is over! Give credit to Melinda for her crippling breasts! Ralph: does she have to do it with the back to the camera ll the time? >=| I want to see what the fuss is all about one of these days.
Winner: Xamot
*The fans are impressed, but the demon is nothing more than annoyed.*
Xamot: e_e.. I... want. Competition!
*He turns to the referee, who attempts to run, but is instantly caught by the throat!*
Ralph: OH SHI– Bob: XAMOT! WHAT ARE YOU DO—
*THE REFEREE IS CHOKESLAMMED FOR HIS TROUBLES!*
Bob: THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR! >=| Ralph: o_o somebody get that man some competition.. Please.
*Yngwie Malmsteen's version of"Hava Nigella" begins playing inside the arena, and out walks the only Jewish Fighter in the History of the UCTF.. Ed the Janitor!*
Arzie: The following match is scheduled for one fall... introducing first, from Cleveland, Ohio.. Standing at five feet, four inches.. And weighing in at one hundred, eighty seven pounds... he is one fourth of the RAP BUSTERS... ED THE JANITOR!!!!!!!!!
*The middle aged man from the lower east side of Manhattan slowly makes his way down the aisle, wearing his Janitorial coveralls and armed with his mop!*
Ralph: We're having a pay per view match with THIS guy. Bob: Yep! Ralph: God this place is going to shut down soon.. I just know it e_e
*"Cloud 9" by Evanescence kicks up, bringing out the newbie from the rival organization!*
Arzie: annnnnd introducing next... being led to the ring by Ace Hardway... hailing from Marietta, Georgia... he stands at SIX FEET, SEVEN INCHES.. And weighs in at two-hundred, seventy five pounds... CRISSSS CHAMPIONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!
*The tall, muscular blonde figure makes his way down the aisle, ready to make an impact on the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting League!*
Ralph: Wow. This guy IS huge! Ed is going to get his ass WHIPPED! Bob: Indeed. o_o Ralph: And you stop looking at Cris that way, FAEG. Bob: ..what? I D–STFU! >=|
Ed The Janitor vs. Cris Champion
*With the match now under way, Cris swiftly approaches The Janitor, expecting Ed to lock up with him. Imagine his surprise when instead, Ed cowers between the ropes in the corner, wanting NO part of him!*
Cris: ..what the hell is this? >=|
Ref: Sorry Cris, he's always like this.. He's a coward.. ED! GET OUT OF THE ROPES! THIS IS A MATCH!
Ed: NO!
Ref: ED, GET OUT OF THE DAMN CORNER!
*Ed refuses, and literally has to be DRAGGED out of the corner by the much larger.. Much STRONGER Cris Champion, who pounds away on the middle aged man's receding hairline in the corner!*
Bob: Ed finally pulled out, and Cris is making him pay!
*Cris irish whip feints Ed out of the corner, turning it into a MASSIVE clothesline! Ed bounces almost completely back to his feet from the hit!*
Ed: OH GOD! OH GOD!!
Bob: DEVASTATING clothesline there by Cris Champion!
*Cris pulls Ed back onto his feet, before Irish whipping Ed into the ropes! Ed comes back, right into the waiting arms of the 6'7 beast, who turns Ed inside out with a spinning powerslam in the center of the ring!*
Bob: Ed is being dominated here with the BASICS of wrestling! Ralph: Well look at him! He's a janitor! He doesn't know the first thing about wrestling! You'd think that Ric Austin would have taught him SOMETHING! Bob: Ric Austin is too busy drinking his life away e_e Ralph: Wow.. Bob O_o Bob: What? Ralph: ...o_o That was low. Bob: ..sorry.
*Ed is pulled back to his feet, and is literally unconscious on his feet! Cris looks toward his manager, who shrugs his shoulders..*
Cris: ..oh well.
*Mr. Champion hits the ropes, before damn near DECAPITATING Ed with a Yakuza kick that would make Masahiro Chono himself SHIT his pants!*
Bob: GOOD GOD!!! BIG BOOT! BIG BOOT! Ralph: Alright Cris.. That's it. Please.. Please put him away before you kill him!
*Ed, who somehow has enough strength to pull himself toward the corner, reaches into his pocket before pulling out... HIS WALLET!*
Cris: e_e..what? Ed: Cris.. Come on.. You won! You won alright? Just let me leave! I've got a family! I've got kids! A wife! I'm only doing this to put food on the table ;_;
Bob: oh no.. Ralph: CRIS! DON'T FALL FOR THIS! DO NOT FALL FOR THIS!!!
Cris: ..a..alri–
*Letting down his guard for that split second was ALL Ed needed, as he NAILS Cris in the testicles with a kick from the defense positioni!*
Cris: ARRGHHH!!
Ralph: NO YOU IDIOT! YOU IDIOT!!
*Ed throws his mop bucket over Cris's face!*
Bob: ED IN CONTROL! Ralph: CRIS DAMNIT NO!!
!!WHAM!!
*Ed connects with his HOME RUN SWING! It connects, sending Cris to the ground! Champion tries to stand back up, but unfortunately for him, the sudsy water causes him to slip, landing RIGHT back on the canvas, and head first onto the bucket!*
Bob: CHAMPION DOWN! ED GOING UP TOP!! Ralph: x_x I.. I can't watch...
*The Janitor is almost on the top rope, but thanks to the sudsy water, SLIPS off of it, sending the poor bastard spinning through midair, landing DIRECTLY on top of Cris Champion!*
Bob: YIDDISH CORKSCREW!! YIDDISH CORKSCREW!!! YIDDISH CORKSCREW!!! Ralph: ..for all of the love in the world.. Cris.. KICK OUT! KICK OUT!
*The ref goes down for the count!*
Ref: 1....... 2............ 3!!!!!!
!!DING DING DING!! DING DING DING!!
Ralph: *THROWS HIS HEADSET* SKDFJASDLFKJ; A;LKSDFJA;SDLKJ Bob: o_o.. There goes the UCTF's partnership... Ralph: THAT OLD FUCKER JUST DEFEATED A 6'7 MAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! >=| AND QUICKLY! Bob: x_x I smell a lawsuit..
Winner: .... yeah. Ed.
*Dazed and Confused, Ed's hand is raised in victory as the rest of the Rapbusters leap into the ring and celebrate with him!*
Ralph: SHOUDLA FUCKING ROLEPLAYED. Bob: O_o What? Ralph: e_e watched the mop bucket. Shoulda watched the mop bucket. Bob: ..oh...
Arzie: The following match is scheduled for one fall.. Already inside the ring, is the leader of the new NEW UCTF Revolution... RIC.. AUSTINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ralph: When did he sneak into the ring? Bob: I'm not sure about that, but I do know that we will have another debut in the UCTF ring tonight– Ralph: Wait.. ANOTHER? >=| After that embarrassment we just saw with Ed the Janitor, I don't want to see anymore newbies around here for a long time! Bob: yeah, I'm sure you'll feel that way in a few seconds.
*"2 x 4" by Metallica kicks up, bringing down a red haired, petite framed, leather clad beauty who makes her way down the aisle!*
Ralph: OH MY GOD. E_E Bob: yep.
Arzie: And introducing his opponent making her UCTF Debut... CRAAAWWEENNNN DARKKZEEEAAALLLL!!!
Ralph: YES! A NEW WOMAN IN THE UCTF! YES! Bob: oh great x_x Ralph: WHO WEARS LEATHER!
Ric Austin vs. Crawen Darkzeal
Ric: I'm going to have a really hard time fighting someone who's so pretty =( Crawen: ...
*Ric's wrestling instincts force him to lunge towards Crawen for the traditional tie up, but is met with a fierce kick to the hamstring!*
Ric: >_< ARRGGHHH!!
Ralph: ---AND KICKS PEOPLE IN THE LEG!! Bob: That was pretty close to the knee, which, given Ric's weight, can't be in healthy condition!
*And that's just the tip of the iceberg, as Crawen now has an ARROW pointed right at the UCTF's resident jobber!*
Ric: o_o..wait–
!!FLOOOOOOOOM!!
*Before he can beg for mercy, he's shot RIGHT through the leg with the magical arrow, sending burning pain throughout the jobber's body!*
Ric: LASKDFJ;ALSDKFJ THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! X_X I'M TIRED OF THIS SHIT! >=| YOU HEAR ME?!!? TIRED! FUCK THIS UCTF BULLSHIT! I'M NOT GETTING SHOT FOR ANYONE ANYMORE!
Crawen and ref: o_o
*And that's it! Ric hobbles his old ass out of the ring and up the ramp! STILL with the arrow stuck in him!*
Ric: *FLIPS OFF EVERYONE* E_E!
Ref: o_o uhh... yeah. This one's over.
Ralph: .............AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bob: Ric says that's enough! He quits! IT'S OVER! The New NRA warrior picks up her first victory in the UCTF! Ralph: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Winner: Crawen Darkzeal
*Ric comes storming back out to the stage, with a microphone in his hand!*
Ric: AND I'M GOING TO WIN THE XTREME ALLIANCE TOURNAMENT, DAMNIT!
Fans: AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!
Ric: *FLIPS EVERYONE OFF* E_E
*"Slit My Wrist" by Murderdolls kicks up, bringing down the half-vampire pretty boy from Italy!*
Bob: Ben has been on a roll as of late, defeating Xamot for a second time on the last episode of UCTF: Massacre. Tonight, he goes against former Interplanetary Champion and Militia leader, Leona! Ralph: Leona's finally making her return to action, after suffering a terrible accident a few years back, thus proving that Karma is indeed a bitch! Bob: I hope she's brought her a-game, because beating this up and comer Ben Slade will NOT be easy!
Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen... From Venice, Italy.. Standing at six feet-one inch and weighing in at 197lbs… BEEEEEEENNNN SLAAAAAAAAAAADDDDEEEE!!!
*Slade leaps over the top rope to a big ovation from the crowd! However, those cheers damn near instantly die when Leona's theme song, "WWIII" kicks up!*
Leona: e_e...
Ralph: Boy, she's just as wide eyed and smiley as always! Bob: indeed.
*Leona, the woman who blew her OWN BOYFRIEND into bits several years back, slowly climbs into the ring. Showing no emotion, she cracks her knuckles while slowly walking face to face with Ben Slade in the middle of the ring...*
Ben Slade vs. Leona
Bob: HERE WE G—
*The SECOND the bell finishes ringing, the lights go COMPLETELY black to a giant ovation!*
Ralph: What the he–
*Then, "FOREVER TORMENT" kicks up over the sound system to an even bigger pop from the fans! The spotlight hits the top of the ramp, with Xamot standing in the middle of it!*
Leona: O_O Ben: O_O
Bob: UM.. WHAT THE HELL
*Xamot storms to the ring!*
Ralph: SCREW THE MATCH BEN AND LEONA! GET OUT OF THERE! RUN!
*It would have been that easy to just run away and avoid the crazed demon that is Xamot, but that's not what our heroes in the UCTF are all about! ...well, all of them except Jin Saotome and Bryan Amethyst, but I digress! Leona and Ben Slade attack Xamot at the same time, who responds by going FULL F'N DEMON MODE, blasting them backward!*
Ralph: RUN YOU IDIOTS!
*Slade goes for the Lacerator! BIG MISTAKE on his part! Xamot catches him by the throat, not allowing himself to be defeated THREE times with the same move! Holding Slade midair by the throat, Xamot spin him towards Leona, who attempts in vain to sneak attack him!*
Bob: SLADE FLIES RIGHT INTO LEONA'S PATH! Ralph: SHOULDA ROLEPLAYED! Bob: WHAT?? Ralph: RAN! SHOULDA RAN!
*Now having them BOTH in his line of attack, Xamot unleashes his MEGALADON! Lemme repeat that.. He unleashes his chi in the form of a SIXTY FOOT SHARK into both Slade and Leona, ELIMINATING them from sight! THEY'RE GONE.*
Crowd; HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Ralph: W..where'd they go?! Bob: ...o_o probably on the wrong end of that shark that's flying out of the arena... Ralph: Jesus! Was that necessary!?
*No, Ralph.. It WASN'T.. But neither was this!*
Xamot: *turns to ref* e_e!!
Ref: OH SH–
*CHOKESLAM TO THE REFEREE, JUST LIKE THE LAST ONE!*
Xamot: >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bob: GOOD LORD! SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!!!
*"Forever Torment" kicks back up again, as Xamot leaves the ringside area after destroying EVERYTHING in his path!*
Winner: No Contest
*"Enough" by Gravity kills starts playing over the loudspeakers, drawing a mild reaction from the crowd as Dimitri makes his way out*
Arzie: This contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, hailing from Parts Unknown... DIMITRIIIII!
Bob: Dimitri being VERY impressive ever since his debut, racking up victories against former anime champions! Ralph: But he's taking on a former GRAND Champion here tonight!
*As Dimitri's entering the ring, "Boys of Summer" starts up, drawing a HUGE reaction from the crowd!*
Arzie: AND HIS OPPONENT, WEIGHING IN TONIGHT AT 193 POUNDS, HE IS THE FORMER UCTF GRAND CHAMPION, MELVIIIIIIIIIC LILLIIIIIIIIITTTTHHHHH!!!
*Melvic dashes down the aisle, and leaps up and OVER the top rope, landing in the ring, opposite from Dimitri! The ref comes between them, motions, then calls for the bell!*
!!!DING, DING, DING!!!
Melvic Lilith vs Dimitri
*The two circle each other in the ring, fists up! Dimitri sends a few jabs Melvic's way, but they're easily dodged! Melvic keeps his guard up, but suddely, Dimitri charges forward!*
!!!SMACK!!!
*Dimitri lands with a HARD right cross right to Melvic's jaw, staggering him!*
Melvic: o_< ... Dimitri: I can do that. >=D Melvic: >=|
*Melvic quickly shakes it off, then comes forward with a few wild blows of his own! Dimitri ducks under them, around them, and comes forward with another couple of jabs to Melvic's face! While Melvic is staggered, Dimitri comes with a sliding kick, sweeping Melvic's legs out from under him! Melvic doesn't have much time to react, because as soon as his legs are swept out, Dimitri comes with a knee DIRECTLY to his chest, nearly knocking him right back onto his feet! As soon as Melvic is nearly standing up straight again, Dimitri comes forward HARD with a spinning backhand, sending Melvic flying back into the corner!*
Bob: Dimitri coming out HARD with a flurry of attacks on Melvic!
*Dimitri gives his neck and knuckles a crack before approaching Melvic again! Melvic looks defenseless, but RIGHT as Dimitri's going to attack, Melvic's left hand comes SHOOTING out and CRACKS Dimitri across the jaw!*
Crowd: OOOOOHHHH!!!
Dimitri: >_< !! Melvic: e_e I can do THAT
*Melvic comes out of the corner, rapidly delivering punches wherever he can on Dimitri's body! Dimitri's trying to cover up as best he can, but is forced into the corner! Melvic backs off, but immedietly comes forward with a kick towards Dimitri's midsection! Dimitri, though, sees an opportunity, and sidesteps, catching Melvic's leg and holding it at his side! Using Melvic's momentum, he SLAMS Melvic backwards onto the mat! Rolling along, he ends up on his back, with an ankle lock on Melvic's foot, and the leg locked with his own! Melvic, though, quickly grabs the ropes, and the ref breaks up the hold!*
Ralph: Back and forth early on in this match! Bob: Both men are feeling each other out here, trying to see what works and what doesn't against each other!
*Dimitri rises to his feet, as does Melvic, both on opposite sides of the ring! Dimitri is the first to act, and charges, going for a sliding kick to Melvic's legs! Melvic, though, sees it coming, and jumps up to avoid it! As he's coming down, though, he locks his feet together and STOMPS Dimitri right on the chest! He hops off, and quickly spins and gives Dimitri a soccer kick right to the head! The force is enough to send Dimitri rolling under the bottom rope, and to the floor!*
!!!!!SMACKKK!!!!!!!!
Crowd: OOOOOOHHHHH!!
Bob: *jaw agape* Did you HEAR the smack against Dimitri's skull!? Ralph: e_e HELEN KELLER heard that!
*Dimitri rolls to a sitting position against the guardrail, one hand holding his chest, the other his head! He looks up to the ring, and sees Melvic, who's sitting on the second rope, holding them open!*
Bob: And Melvic is INVITING Dimitri back into the ring!
*Dimitri rises to his feet slowly, and climbs up to the apron! He looks apprehensively at Melvic, who only gestures to Dimitri to get back into the ring! But as soon as Dimitri steps one foot through the ropes, he swings it around and DRILLS Melvic in the gut! Melvic immedietly lets go of the ropes, and Dimitri grabs him, choking him on the top rope, drawing MASSIVE heel heat from the crowd!*
Bob: AND LOOK AT THIS! VERY unsportsmanlike by Dimitri! Ralph: Dimitri's gotta find SOME kind of opening in this match! It doesn't have anything to do with sportsmanship! There aren't any rules in UCTF about handshakes and courtesy!
*Dimitri releases the hold on Melvic when the referee comes over and breaks it up! Technically, Melvic WAS in the ropes. o_o Anyways, Melvic rolls into the ring, leaning against the ropes, catching his breath! Dimitri is right on him, though, dragging him out by the hair! Dimitri whips Melvic into the ropes, and on the return, delivers a SPLIT kick to Melvic's chin, popping him into the air! Melvic almost HANGS in mid-air for a second, and Dimitri takes the moment to rear back, and jumps up after him! He grabs Melvic by the arm, and HIPTOSSES him in the air down to the mat! Dimitri holds on, and after Melvic's back hits the mat, he rolls over, and has Melvic in an armbar!*
Melvic: >_______< !!!!
*The ref slides into position, and is checking on Melvic, looking for the tapout! Dimitri wrenches the arm, looking to break it! Melvic, though, gets his bearings, and starts resisting Dimitri's hold! He wriggles on the mat, grasping for the ropes, or to improve his position! Dimitri's hold starts to weaken on Melvic's arm as Melvic moves around, and eventually Melvic gets on his feet, and is able to push off the mat, rolling over and breaking the hold!*
Crowd: *POPS!!!!*
Bob: And WOW, Melvic is able to break the hold! Ralph: Uh, are we going to comment on how Dimitri GRABBED HIM OUT OF MIDAIR E_E
*Melvic rolls outside of the ring himself, shaking his arm, trying to recover! He looks up to Dimitri, who's now holding the ropes open for HIM with a smirk on his face!*
Bob: Dimitri trying to get into the head of Melvic here!
*Melvic, though, is having no part in it, and hops from the guardrail, to the top rope, then dives towards Dimitri and DRILLS him with an elbow to the face before he can react! The crowd lets out a LOUD pop for the move, as Melvic lands on the apron, and climbs into the ring!*
Dimitri: *holding his jaw* >_<
*Melvic comes up behind Dimitri, and as soon as he turns around, he gets a HARSH wild swing right to the face! Staggered, he walks DIRECTLY into a left cross, and staggers into Melvic's palm, and gets his face smashed into the corner! He's out on his feet, and Melvic quickly grabs him by the legs, and rolls him up for the pin!*
Ref: 1!......2!.....*KICKOUT!*
*Dimitri kicks out! He rolls away from Melvic, and attempts to get up to his feet! However, Melvic is right behind him, and clips his legs out from under him with the Fool's punch! Dimitri is left laying on his back, and Melvic jumps over his body, and in a single bound jumps to the top rope, then takes to the sky! He gets a decent amount of altitude before streaking back down towards the ring, his knee extended!*
!!!!BLAAOOOWWWW!!!!
Melvic: @@*(@J(@*J(*!!!JO!@O
*However, he'd mis-timed his attack, and misses Dimitri, slamming his OWN knee into the mat! And extra altitude means extra force as he slams his knee into the mat! Melvic rolls over, holding the knee in pain! Dimitri is quick to act, and grabs the bad leg, and hooks it over his shoulder, as if he was dragging Melvic! He quickly jerks on the leg, bringing Melvic up OVER his head, and slamming down face-first to the mat! Dimitri quickly wraps Melvic's bad leg around his own, and falls to the mat, using his free leg to apply press ure to the knee!*
Bob: Melvic in a BAD way here! Ralph: He loaded his own gun here! He shouldn't have gone for the high-angle kneedrop!
*Melvic is in OBVIOUS pain now! He's struggling on the mat as the ref is right there, asking him if he wants to give up! Melvic, though, through his struggles, manages to get close to the ropes, and grabs the bottom one, forcing Dimitri to break the hold!*
Bob: Lucky break for Melvic there! Ralph: But will his knee hold up? He has to be careful now, as Dimitri knows how to get him down!
*Melvic hangs in the ropes, trying to catch his breath! Dimitri tries to move in, but Melvic kicks out with his good leg to keep him at bay! Melvic pulls himself up, but Dimitri is right back on him, swinging with another punch, this time catching him in the ribs! Melvic is knocked back a bit, but fights back with a couple of punches of his own! Even balancing on one leg, Melvic is going blow-for blow with Dimitri! Punches are bouncing off each other's faces and upper body as they keep trying to knock the other down! Finally, Dimiti snaps out a kick to Melvic's bad knee, and you can hear the collective groan from the crowd as Melvic's knee seems to almost go in the WRONG direction!*
Crowd: OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!
Bob: *dry heaves*
*Melvic goes down to his knee, and the ref pushes Dimitri back! He bends down next to Melvic!*
Ref: Melvic, can you continue? Melvic: >_< I-
*He's cut off, though, as Dimitri pushes the referee out of the way, looking to finish the job!*
!!!!!!!BLAAAOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!
*But RIGHT as he's going to go after Melvic, Melvic pops up with a Ki-assisted uppercut to Dimitri's jaw, sending him flying back! As SOON as Dimitri's back hits the mat, Melvic dives over and makes the cover!*
Ref: 1!......2!.......TH-*KICKOUT*
Crowd: OOOOOOHHHHH!!!!
Ralph: Where the HELL did that come from!? Bob: MELVIC WITH THE BURST OF ENERGY! Can we get a replay of that!?
*As both men are down and out on the mat, it goes to split-screen from the camera on the floor, and we can see Melvic's Ki-charged fist DRILL Dimitri in the jaw, and Melvic dive for the quick cover! Back to real-time, both men are stirring, and the crowd is slowly starting to rumble! Dimitri is the first to his feet, and has his back turned to Melvic! Right as he turns around though, he's knocked RIGHT back 180 degrees as Melvic delivers another Ki-assisted blow, this time an elbow to the jaw! Melvic catches Dimitri over his shoulders, then takes to the sky!*
Ralph: Oh this can't be good for Dimitri! Bob: Melvic is either going for the Viper, or the Drill Dive!
*Melvic gets about fifty feet above the ring, then spins and THROWS Dimitri's body towards the mat!*
Bob: AND HE'S GOING FOR THE DRILL!
*A second later, Melvic winds up and starts spinning towards Dimitri's body! The two go streaking towards the mat! However, in mid-flight, Dimitri seems to position his body, and as SOON as he hits the mat, he's rolling with the impact and under the ropes! Melvic, though, spinning through the air, doesn't notice until it's too late!*
!!!!!!BLAAAAOOOOWW!!!!!!!
*Melvic's body SLAMS the mat, with a small energy burst from the impact, and his body flies over, slamming into the corner and ending up in a heap!*
Crowd: OOOOOOHHHH!!!!
Ralph: Crash, and BUUUUUUURN!
*For a good thirty seconds the crowd is buzzing as Dimitri is recovering from his fall, and Melvic is trying to shake off his dizziness! Dimitri rolls himself into the ring, and sees Melvic in the heap! He grabs Melvic's bad leg, drags him into the center of the ring, and sticks his knee into the back of Melvic's bad knee, putting as much pressure as he can on it! Melvic is yelling out in pain as Dimitri hooks the leg around his own, pulling with his arm! With his free arm, he then proceeds to start PUNCHING Melvic in the back of the head! He gets in three good blows before he concentrates on the submission on the knee!*
Bob: This isn't good for Melvic! Not at ALL!
*The referee goes down next to Melvic!*
Ref: MELVIC! Can you hear me??
Melvic: x_x...
Ref: MELVIC! CAN YOU CONTINUE?
*There's NO respone from Melvic! He's OUT!*
Ref: RING IT! RING IT!
!!!!DING, DING, DING!!!!
*"Enough" starts playing as Dimitri releases the hold, and the ref raises his hand!*
Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner of the match, DIMITRI!!
Bob: WOW! Dimitri continues his streak and defeats the former Grand Champion in an impressive showing! Ralph: Too many high-risk moves, too many injures for Melvic to bear! Bob: And at the end, it was too much, and Melvic was OUT from the pain!
WINNER: Dimitri
Arzie: The Following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the UCTF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!!
*"Release Yo Delf" by Method Man... yes.. Motherfucking RELEASE YOUR DELF from the "Tical" album kicks up, bringing out Bryan Amethyst, and his tag team partner, BB Hood!*
BB: e_e What? My Ipod was on random.
*INDEED IT WAS!*
Arzie: Introducing first... the challengers... She is the Demon Huntress from Parts Unknown, and he is the GIANT TOOL... They are BB Hood and the Alchemist... BRYYYYYYYAAANNNN AMETHYYYYYYSTTTTT
Bryan: D:
Ralph: GIANT TOOL LOL THAT'S STILL FUNNY! Bob: Funnier than Ivan The Urban Action Figure crashing through six chairs? Ralph: ............o_o I.. I don't know
*YOU FOLKS READING THIS DECIDE! IS THE GIANT TOOL MEMORIAL BETTER THAN THIS?!*
*SEND ME AN EMAIL AT PREZ_VEGETA@HOTMAIL.COM. JUST KIDDING. DON'T FUCKING EMAIL ME.*
Bob: I've been looking forward to this match the most Ralph. After everything that Bryan Amethyst has put the man of steel through since his INTRODUCTION into the UCTF, we're finally going to see Superman deliver some kryptonian justice! Ralph: wow, you're unbiased, aren't you? Bob: He's a Giant Tool! >=| Superman never did anything to anyone... Ralph: except drop an arena on the President? Bob: That was a misunderstanding!
*That may have been a great misunderstanding between The Man of Steel and President Jeice, but what we're about to see here in the UCTF arena is anything but! This has been building for over a year, and it is about to explode, as John Williams Orchestrated Superman theme begins playing over the arena!*
Arzie: Introducing next.. Hailing from The Planet Krypton... he is one half of the UCTF Tag Team Champions... The Man of STEEEELLLLLL... SUPERMANNNNNNN!!!
*Sueprman suddenly appears in the arena, crashing onto the canvas from the open air ala Brandon Routh in the 2006 movie!*
Superman: e_e.....
Arzie: And his tag team partner... from Queens, New York City...
*Train's "Ordinary" plays heavily through the sound system, as Spiderman flips into the squared circle from the rafters in dramatic fashion!*
Arzie: the second half of the UCTF Tag Team Championships... He is The AMAZINGGGGG SPIDER-MANNNNNNN!!!
*Once the dust settles, Superman stands face to face with BB Hood, while Bryan and Spidey glare at each other from a mere foot away. The Tag team titles are handed off to the time keeper, before the bell officially starts the match up!*
BB Hood & Bryan Amethyst vs. Superman & Spider-Man UCTF Tag Team Championships
*Bryan springs into action first, launching his body full speed towards Spidey, who prepares himself for the eventual attack that never happens. A half second before impact, Bryan's form disperses into a mist that flows past his opponent. That brief moment of disorientation by the wallcrawler allows BB Hood to blindside him! Amethyst reappears, flying toward the Man of Steel from behind, preparing to land a kick from behind.*
Superman: e_e
*But it's in vain! The Kryptonian's super hearing senses the attack coming, allowing Superman to spin around and catch the kick in mid-flight! Not good news for Bryan, now in the snare of the Kryptonian is flung towards the canvas with speeds faster than the speed of sound!*
Bryan: OH SH—
!!!WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!
*The INSTANT Bryan comes in contact with the ground, he teleports again, reappearing across the ring, in the safety of the apron on the outside!*
Bryan: =3!
Bob: LOOK AT THAT COWARD! First attempting to attack Superman from behind, then running away when it fails! Ralph: What?? He's following the rules! He's not the legal man, BB and Spidey are! Bob: e_e
*Speaking of BB and Spidey, the action is moving fast, as BB wastes no time attempting to take the wall crawler's life! I'm serious! She's got another SERIOUS match tonight in the main event where she could possibly leave with THREE titles!*
BB: >=|!!
*Swinging her military knife, she JUST misses stabbing Spiderman through the heart, as he rolls out of the way! Leaving the blade stuck in the canvas, BB immediately arms herself with a molotov cocktail into Spider-man's FACE! He performs a matrix like backbend, JUST missing being blinded for life by the explosion, before handspringing to the top rope and launching himself high into the nose bleeds! Distance isn't a problem for BB however, as she now arms herself with a ROCKET launcher!*
Spider-man: HOLY SHIT CALM DOWN WOMAN! BB: e_e
*She fires several rockets into the crowd in attempt to destroy Spider-man, who has a double duty of avoiding the rockets himself, while at the same time keeping them from hitting innocents!*
BB: stand still. *BB keeps the pressure on, sending grenades flying through the air!*
!!BOOM!!
Spidey: holy fu–
*Spidey flips forward in midair, NARROWLY avoiding an exploding grenade before driving a double kick to the face of the Demon Huntress! He balances himself on BB's face for a half second, before flipping backwards onto the top rope!*
Bob: Spider-man's agility is remarkable!
*BB Doesn't stay down long, as she's back up, now firing a MACHINE GUN at the agile Spider-man, who flips out of the way, and into a FLAME THROWER! Yes folks, all of this within a span of a second! Spidey is knocked back across the ring, bounces off the ropes, and runs into a spin kick to the face! And trust me, those wooden clogs BB wears aren't made for playing basketball!*
Ralph: oh, so we're just gonna ignore that BB used a day's worth of military arsenal in that last exchange with just a picnic basket?? Bob: I ..
*Spidey is back to his feet instantly, and forced to avoid a rocket coming his way, as he leaps over it, BB SPRAYS him with a barrage of bullets from her machine gun! This haults any offense Spidey had planned on mounting, before he's blasted across the ring by a rocket to the chest!*
Spidey: x_x
Ralph: holy SHIT! Bob: Spidey inadvertantly tags in Superman after being knocked CLEAR across the ring by that rocket!
*That could have been the best thing to happen to spider-man, as SUPERMAN is now in the ring, bearing down BB Hood!*
Supes: e_e. BB: e_e.
*BB slowly lifts her rocket launcher, locking on Superman's S on his chest! Seconds later, 20 to 30 Rockets fly right into the man of steel, ALL connecting at the same time!*
!!KATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
Superman: ...e_e
*AND THEY DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!*
BB: yeah.. Well--
*BB turns and SLAPS Bryan on the arm before leaving the ring!*
Ralph: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA Bob: smartest thing I've ever seen. And now BRYAN AMETHYST is the legal man!
Bryan: ..damn........ AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! >=|
*Bryan suddenly nuts up and charges The Man of Steel, who simply stands in the center of the ring with his arms crossed! That's cocky, and he's going to pay for it! Bryan's charge turns into a running slide, RIGHT into Superman's legs! They're kicked out over him, sending the Man of Steel floating in midair for a brief second, before Bryan hits the ropes and nails an elbow to the back! Superman leaps back up quickily... he's not going to make the same mistake twice, this time ready to grab the charging Bryan out of the air!*
Superman: >=| I won't underestimate you again
*Superman swings a WILD right! Bryan somersaults over it, kicking Superman in the back with both feet before flipping again and landing... He doesn't celebrate his achievement however.. Instead, he balls his fingers into knots, building energies into another attack.*
Bryan: RANRANTARU-RYUUUUUUUUDAN!!
*The fireball is knocked away by Superman, who then charges towards Bryan with his fists drawn! Bryan charges forward himself, now with his fists crackling with electricity...*
Bryan: DENDOU-RENPATSU-UCHINUKU!!
*Superman and Bryan meet in the center of the ring matching punch for punch! The sound of each blow landing creates a small clap of thunder that echoes throughout the arena!*
Ralph: LOOK AT THIS SHIT! BRYAN IS KEEPING UP WITH HIM! Bob: o_o.. N..no he's not.
*Superman SPEEDS UP his punches, completely overtaking Bryan in the show of manliness! Finally having enough, Bryan rolls under a punch, before attempting his Tatsumaki Lariat combination! An even FASTER Barrage of punches and kicks all while spinning on one leg is all poured into Superman, ending with a big Roundhouse kick to the chest!*
Bryan: ^_^! ...o_o!
*Which is eaten and caught by Superman, who, with a smirk on his face, NAILS Bryan in the stomach with a punch that literally lifts him off of the ground! With that fist driven into Bryan's stomach, and his other arm firmly grasping his leg, Superman DRIVES Bryan into the canvas with a devastating Spinebuster!*
Crowd: OOOOOOOOHHH!! X_X!!
Bob: D: Ralph: THAT LEFT A DAMN IMPRINT!!
*Superman sucks in as much air as he can, which Bryan can only witness helplessly!*
Bryan: lol fu—
*He intends to turn Bryan into a popsicle! He exhales his ice breath, which are intercepted by BB's flame thrower!*
Superman: what the?! BB: >=|!!
*Bryan's partner leaps onto Superman's back but is almost instantly snapmared off and into Bryan, who had JUST peeled himself off of the mat!*
Both: DUGSDGAGH!! Bob: THE MAN OF STEEL FIRMLY IN CONTROL OF THIS MATCH!
BB: You got enough in you for the Dandan whatever? Bryan: Daidan'en Hitoare-Tsume? BB: yeah, whatever.. That move you gave a way too long a name for. Bryan: yeah.. Why? BB: I got an idea. Me and the PEMF's will keep the big man busy. Go power up and hit him with everything you've got. I'm tired of this shit.
*Bryan stands back up, before charging towards Superman again!*
Superman: This again?!
*Bryan stops just an inch out of Superman's range and BLASTS into the sky!*
Bryan: NOPE! ^_^_^
*As he flies out of the arena, while The PEMFs enter the ring to assist BB in taking down the Man of Steel!*
Bob: oh no.. OOOH NO! Ralph: THE BUMRUSH ATTACK! I LOVE THIS!
Superman: do you honestly thing bullets are going to do anything?!
BB: They will if they're made of Kryptonite.
Superman: O_O
*HUGE bluff, but it catches Superman off guard!*
BB: Ready. Aim. F--
Spidey: AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!
*Spider-man won't allow the attack to happen, leaping over the top rope, aiming RIGHT at the ring leader!*
Spider-man: MAXIMUM SPI--
BB: fire.
!!!!!!!!KBBLABALLHBALBKABLABLAKBABL!!
*The woodsmen turn their attention on Spider-man, OBLITERATING him with a barrage of bullets that knock the poor guy out of the ring!*
BB: now. Back to you. e_e ATTACK!
*While Bryan continues to ascend, BB and the Woodsmen, now out of bullets PHYSICALLY attack Superman, dogpiling the man of steel in a futile attempt to keep him distracted while Bryan begins charging up for his most powerful ki attack!*
Bryan: DAIDAN'ENNNNNNNNNNNNN----
*Superman tosses BB and the PEMFS off of him with ease! He lifts his head towards Bryan, now OVER the arena with a palm full of Ki!*
Bryan: HITOARRREEEEEEE
Superman: e_e..
*The man of steel BLASTS off, blowing his opponents out of the ring in the processes, BLAZING towards Bryan!*
Bryan: TSUMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
!!!!!!KAAAAAAAAAAAATHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!
*Superman is engulfed by the giant phoenix shaped ki mid-flight before the blast hits the ground, damn near taking out the ring with it!*
Ralph; ASLDFKSDFL Bob: IT CONNECTS! THAT'S GOTTA BE IT!
*Certainly, the ring area looks like New York following a steam pipe explosion, but when it clears...*
*The attack is proved to be fruitless! The now barechested Man of Steel is now EXTREMELY annoyed at Bryan Amethyst, who can only float in midair in shock that his strongest attack didn't work!*
Bryan: ....
Crowd: LOL FUCK
Bryan: exactly. -_-
Superman: So. Anymore tricks? Anymore Wit?
Bryan: ...uhh.........wit... o_o.. e_e!!
*That gives Bryan one final Idea! Teleporting into thin air, he returns less than a second later, now holding a boy by the collar who's got a small cube in his hand!*
Sam: WHAT THE FU--
Bryan: SHUTUP! E_E
*He snatches the box away from him before tossing the kid back into his own dimension! Now with him out of the way, Bryan begins to power the cube with GREEN ki!*
Everyone: ........
Bryan: LOL HEE--
*But he's punched out of the air by the man of steel before he can complete his task! The cube is sent flying into the darkness....*
Jesse Hall: Alright. ^_^ They finally installed a Mountain Dew machine in here. I was getting tired of Lariat.
*In the back, Jesse Hall, who hasn't been seen in the UCTF in AGES just happens to be in the back, inserting a dollar into the mountain dew machine! Right after putting in his money, the cube Bryan had in his possession seconds earlier bounces off of the machine before landing on the concrete.*
Jesse: O_o what the hell?
*Jesse inspects the object, while behind him, the Drink machine TRANSFORMS INTO A FUCKING DECEPTICON*
MD: e_e!!!!!!
*Jesse is put through a wall seconds before the machine takes off towards the Grand Arena!*
Jesse: x_x my... do..llar..
!!THOOM!!
*Back in the arena, Bryan lands face first on the canvas!*
Bryan: owww.. ;_;
*Superman divebombs back into the arena, locked right in on The Alchemist!*
Bob: THIS IS IT! SUPERMAN WILL FINALLY GAIN HIS REVENGE AFTER A YEAR OF TORMENT BY BRYAN AMETHYST! Ralph: Oh god.. Bryan's not gonna be able to get out of the way of this o_o
*Bryan COWERS in the corner!*
Bryan: LOL FUUUUUUUUU
!!THRACKABOOOOOOOOOM!!
*But Bryan's uncanny luck steps in, as The KRYPTONITE POWERED DECEPTICON MOUNTAIN DEW MACHINE intercepts the Man of Steel, knocking him out of the sky!*
Bob: WHAT THE FUCK Ralph: WKEALRAWE;LRH WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Bob: I JUST SAID THAT
*Both Superman AND The Decepticon crash land in the center of the ring!*
Bryan: o.o
*Bryan slowly crawls over...*
Bob: NO! NONONONO
Bryan: =3
*Bryan covers!*
Bob: LSKDFALSDFKJ NOL;AKSDFJA;LDFKJ NONONONONO
Ref: 1......... 2............ 3!!!!!!!!
!DING DING DING DING DINGDIGNDGINDGINDEGINDSGAOIGDJA;LDSKFJA;SDLFKJAD;FLKJADSF;AKLJDFA;LK!!
Winners and NEW Tag Team Champions: BB Hood and Bryan Amethyst
Bob: WHAT THE HELL!?!? ASD;LFKAJFDS A KRYPTONITE POWERED DECEPTICON MOUNTAIN DEW MACHINE!?!?! >=| Ralph: o_o Blame the Allspark, man. Bob: yeah well whatever. AMAZING! NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
*Even with the entire capacity crowd rumbling with anger to the point of an eventual riot, the new Tag Team Champions couldn't be anymore enthused with the results of their contest! Especially Bryan Amethyst, who has finally vanquished Superman, thanks to his newest toy, which is, by the way sitting on the chest of the downed Man of Steel!*
Bryan: Hey BB, go back and get some rest. e_e I'll take care of things here.
*BB leaves, as the Triumphant Amethyst continues to KICK the already downed former champion to even MORE boos!*
Bob: SOMEBODY GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING! THAT MUCH KRYPTONITE AND SUPERMAN WILL DIE!
Bryan: I'M A GIANT TOOL, HUH?!
!!KICK!!
Bryan: BUILT A MEMORIAL HUH?!
*Spider-man, MIRACULOUSLY back to his feet, attacks Bryan in one final vain attempt to save his partner, and is easily sent packing with a hook kick to the face, shattering half of his mask in the process!*
Everyone: OOOOH O_O
Ralph: NICE KICK! Bob: SOMEBODY CALL 911! >=|
*Turning his attention back to Superman, Bryan summons the HimizuKazetsuchi! He stands over the Man of Steel with Murderous Intent in his eyes!*
Bob: o_o um.. Ok, Bryan. We get it! You're an asshole, but COME ON, YOU'RE GOING TO FAR HERE!
*Now raised over his head, Himizu Kazetsuchi is swung towards Superman's head, only to be knocked out of The Alchemist's firm grip, accompanied by blood splattering across the ring!*
Bryan: OWWW!! What the fu–
*Laying next to the weapon, is a BATTERANG!*
Bryan: o_o lol fu–
!!BLAM!!
*He's kicked from behind by a shadowy figure, dressed from head to toe in a costume that would lead people to believe is BATMAN.. However, this batsuit has TITS!*
Bryan: e_e Her: e_e
*She springs towards Bryan, aiming a kick for the chest! The Alchemist, however, has different plans, TELEPORTING a split second before Impact in a ball of smoke, only to reappear right behind her, Himizu Kazetsuchi in hand!*
Bryan: >=D!!
*The smile on his face is wiped away when his slash is blocked with ease! He's hit in the face with a jarring hay-maker, turning him COMPLETELY around from the impact, and into the waiting arms of a SECOND Female, this one looking more menacing and deadly than the other!*
Bryan: oh shi–
!!SNIKT!!
*Four blades, two from each hand penetrate Bryan's shoulders upon impact, spraying blood from the wounds, before his attacker retracts her claws, allowing The Alchemist to fall to the canvas, along with the kryptonite Decepticon golem, that powers down the SECOND Bryan loses his consciousness! The two aggressors leave the scene just as lightning fast as they had appeared!*
Bob: HOASLDFKASDF HOLY CRAP! Ralph: o_o.................b...bat and wolverine puppies. Bob: SOMEONE CALL 9-1-1! Ralph: Congratulations on the win Bryan!
*We flash to a PACKED exhibition basketball game featuring The Las Angeles Lakers vs. The Chicago Bulls! Celebrities are known to frequent high profile sports events, and this is no different, as Three members of the famed UCTF "Ginyu Force" Ranma Saotome, Jeice, and Burter make their way into the stands! As the fellas are joking around, Ranma points to the basketball court, where the Bull's Very own Mascot prepares to make a slam dunk with the aid of a trampoline...*
Mascot: e_e.............
*The bull takes off across the court, and after bouncing off of the trampoline, GLIDES across the air with form that would make Michael Jordan himself swoon!*
Mascot: >=D!! ..O_______O
!!!!THOOOOOOOOM!!!
*Until he's OBLITERATED in mid-air by Jeice!*
Jeice: >=|!!!!!!!!
Crowd: *POPS!!!*
Ranma and Burter: *DOUBLE SPIT-TAKE*
Announcer: INTRODUCING LARIAT! A TWENTY OUNCE APPLE DRINK SO PACKED WITH CARBS AND CAFFIENE IT FEELS LIKE YOU'RE BEING CLOTHESLINED BY THE UCTF GREAT HIMSELF! CAN YOU HANDLE THE LARIAT?! BUY THE DAMN DRINK!
*Jeice celebrates with one foot on the mascot while posing to the crowd!*
Bob: and to think... Suicide could be that Mascot here in a few minutes o_o
*We're back in the Grand Arena, and squared circle already contains the likes of Ric Austin, The Rapbusters, Cris Champion, Crawen Darkzeal, Ben Slade, Taki, Leona, Prince Laharl, Melvic Lillith, and Dimitri…*
Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen… the following contest is our ANIME CHAMPIONSHIP BATTLE ROYALE! The winner of which will be placed into the Judgment Day main event at the end of the night!
*And with Arzie's announcement, the lights blank out in the arena, followed by "Forever Torment" playing throughout the sound system, giving a cold chill up the collective spine of the UCTF capacity crowd. Dragging along the slave girl Melinda, Xamot makes his way down the aisle!*
Bob: And here comes a man who's already made an impact in tonight's broadcast! Ralph: Man. You've gotta feel bad for Andre Tau coming into this contest. Suicide JUST put him through a wall a few weeks ago, and here he has to defend his title against fourteen people! Bob: If anything, he's lucky that this is his first match of the night, unlike everyone else. That's his only advantage coming into this event.
*Finally, "Flat Song" by the Rock ‘n Roll Soldiers kicks up, bringing down Andre Tau to a massive pop!*
Arzie: Introducing the final participant in the battle royale.. he is the UCTF ANIME CHAMPION… ANDDDREEEE TAUUUUUUU!
Bob: Andre must go through fourteen people JUST to qualify for the Grand Championship match tonight! Ralph: Which is damn near impossible e_e Bob: The man won a multi organizational tournament, toppling the Grand Champion in the process.. if anyone can do this, HE can!
Battle Royale UCTF Anime Championship Judgment Day Qualifying Match
*Every fighter stands on the inside of the ring, and it's pretty obvious to see that everyone's attention is focused SQUARELY on Andre Tau. The Champion! The Man to Beat in this match-up!*
Ralph: uh oh…
*The brand new UCTF fighters IMMEDIATELY attack the Anime Champion, desperate to make names for themselves on their first big night in the UCTF.. Unfortunately, they picked the wrong guy to do that against e_e*
!!FLOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!
*One Giant flame slap later, several of the newest UCTF competitors are sent flying! Across the ring, Dimitri contemplates his existence in this match up, as John Crossett sneaks up from behind him!*
Dimitri: e_e why am I even here? I want nothing to do with the Ani– Crossett: USA-----
!!SLAP!!
*Dimitri backhands the saiyan, sending him flying several feet over the top rope and into the crowd somewhere!*
Dimitri: Oh, please. e_e.. And who the hell is Usa–
*Melvic Lillith blindsides Dimitri, OBVIOUSLY seeking revenge for the loss he received at the hands of the commie earlier in the night! Joining in on the beatdown is none other than Ric Austin, who's sporting a giant bandage on his leg, along with the Rap Busters!*
Ric: HEY MELVIC! ^_^ Melvic: ? Ric: You're NNNN's best friend right? That makes us partners. e_e Melvic: ..what Ric: NEW NEW UCTF REVOLUTION, MAKE SURE MELVIC ISN'T ELIMINATED. Brian: I thought we were the Rapbusters now ? O_o Ric: WHATEVER, just —-
!!FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!
*Tau out of NO WHERE Fireslaps Ric over the top rope, while Xamot clotheslines the remaining three members of the Revolution... urr.. The Rapbusters!*
Ric: x_x.. S..sorry Melvic.. You're on your own. Melvic: It's the thought that counts, I guess e_e
Ralph: Ok, I think they got all of the dead weight out of there! Bob: no.. hold on a few seconds..
*XAMOT CHOKESLAMS LEONA, TAKI, BEN SLADE, LAHARL, AND CRIS CHAMPION OUT OF THE RING AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!*
Bob: NOW all the dead weight is gone! Ralph: HOW!?!? Bob: don't worry about how. e_e they're gone.
*Alright, seriously. Those guys are gone, and now we can have a match! Andre Tau, Xamot, Crawen Darkzeal, Dimitri, and Melvic Lillith all remain in the ring! One of these five fighters will be going to the main event tonight and have a chance at winning the big one!*
Xamot: ...e_e
*Xamot, who's this matches MVP by so far eliminating EIGHT people within thirty seconds, turns his attention to Crawen Darkzeal, while Andre and Melvic Lillith give each other a silent nod in agreement to double team Dimitri and get rid of the common threat of the Vampire Commie!*
Xamot: GRRRR!!
Bob: RIGHT IN THE CHEST!
*Crawen leaps over a wild haymaker thrown by the demon, and makes him PAY, by unleashing a barrage of arrows that not only connect, but embed themselves into the possessor's chest! Stumbling backwards and bleeding from the chest, Crawen sends a flying kick into the arrows, driving them even FURTHER into the demon!*
Ralph: OH GOD! SICK! THAT'S NOT COOL! Bob: Crawen can become a superstar if she can eliminate Xamot!
*Xamot uses his Dark Wave attack to knock Crawen backward across the ring! With a second to rest, he RIPS the arrows out of his body! NOW he's pissed! He charges towards Crawen who WISELY leaps out of the way! Now behind him, she takes advantage of her clear shot by RAINING Arrows towards him! They all connect through his back, sending the Demon to his knees!*
Xamot: ................................
*NOT A GOOD IDEA BY CRAWEN! Xamot has had enough, transforming into his FULL DEMON MODE, he whips around, hands already together and fully powered!*
Ralph: oh, she's FUC–
Xamot: MEGALADONNNNNNNNNNNN!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!
*SCREW agility, there's nothing Crawen can do to escape the SIXTY FOOT WIDE ki attack! She's engulfed and sent packing out of the ring!*
Ralph: WHOOOOOOOOOO!!! Bob: Xamot has just eliminated his NINTH fighter!
*During the Xamot/Crawen affair, Melvic and Andre had their hands full with Dimitri, who even at a disadvantage of TWO ON ONE, is easily able to parry and avoid every hit the pyro and half demon can throw at him!*
Dimitri: This must be horribly embarrassing for you two. Andre: e_e
*Tau strikes with a flared up punch, only to have it caught and twisted into a wrist lock! Pushing the Anime Champions face into the ground via the submission hold, Dimitri BLOCKS a kick from Melvic, kicking the half demon's standing leg from under him, while at the same time flipping Andre Tau forward into an arm throw!*
Ralph: WOW, Dimitri is kicking ass as usual! Bob: Yeah, thanks to his POWER STEALING! >=|!!
*Melvic back flips before springing toward Dimitri at full speed! The commie is ready for the attack! That is, however, until Melvic dramatically changes directions midflight. He ascends suddenly, drawing Dimitri's attention, allowing Andre to NAIL the commie with pyro energy from behind! Dimitri bounces off the ropes, into a kick, followed by the Evenflow DDT!*
Bob: YEAH!! YEAH!! Ralph: Yeah, you're SO unbiased, aren't you!? Bob: SHUTUP
*Melvic lands on the top rope!*
Ralph: What is he–
*Melvic leaps off, GOING FOR THE FROG SPLASH!*
Melvic: ^_^!!!!!!
Bob: OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THE HEIG–
*But he's caught out of midair by FULL DEMON MODE XAMOT!*
Bob and Ralph: OH SH– Melvic: OH SH–!!
*Who DEMON SLAMS him over the top rope and to the floor!*
Bob: MY GOD! Ralph: YES! DEMON SLAM! DEMON SLAM! DEMON SLAM! Bob: That's Xamot's TENTH elimination of the night!!
*Andre INSTANTLY attacks Xamot with a burn strike, knocking the weakened demon across the ring! Before he can recover, Xamot is then nailed with a MASSIVE uppercut to the chin, creating a wall of fire that knocks Xamot out of the ring and onto the apron!*
Bob: WHAT AN UPPERCUT BY TAU! Ralph: Xamot's not out yet!
*Andre sees Xamot standing on the apron... He turns to hit the ropes for momentum in order to knock Xamot off, but the second he turns around, he's JUMP KICKED by the recovering Dimitri!*
Bob: BLINDSIDE BY DIMITRI!
*The Champion hits the canvas head first! Xamot re-enters the ring, and it's now looking VERY bad for the Anime Champion!*
Bob: oh no.. OH NO! Xamot and Dimitri are about to double team the champion! This isn't good! Ralph: oh, you weren't saying this when THE SAME THING was happening to Dimitri were you?! Bob: SHUTUP! >=|
*Dimitri split kicks Andre in the face, sending the champion into Xamot's "Thrasher Strike!" stumbling backwards, he's then kicked right in the kneecap by Dimitri!*
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Bob: good GOD, that could have dislocated his knee! Ralph: Yeah.. The way he's clutching it.. o_o he quite possibly could have.
*Xamot forms a Nile Star, before DRIVING the ki attack right into said knee! Andre releases a cry of pain that forces several fans to cover their ears in agony!*
Dimitri: nice move ^_^ Xamot: e_e. Dimitri: You want to eliminate him? Be my guest.
*That's all he had to say! Xamot lifts Andre by the throat, before Demon slamming him into EACH corner of the ring!*
Ralph: Xamot is doing a NUMBER on this kid! Bob: The sadistic bastard HATES Andre Tau! We all know that for a fact! He doesn't want to just win this match, he wants to possibly end the kids career!
*With ONE hand, Xamot now has Andre above his head, and it's only a matter of throwing him out of the ring*
Xamot: e_e goodbye.
*Charging towards the ropes, Andre somehow struggles out of the choke hold! Both hanging over the top rope, Andre DDT'S Xamot over the top rope and onto the apron! Xamot bounces off of his head before landing on the floor below! SOMEHOW, the Anime Champion hangs on via the bottom rope, and pulls himself back in to a MASSIVE ovation!*
Ralph: HOW THE FUCK Bob: TAU ELIMINATES XAMOT! AMAZING! Ralph: and Xamot isn't happy either o_o
*It takes the ENTIRE TEAM of Referees to stop Xamot from getting back into the ring! But it's not like Dimitri needs any help.. Tau is worn out, and his knee is GONE! He can barely stand up!*
Dimitri: Well. Looks like I get to be the one to take your title. =\
*Andre leans against the rope, before using it to spring board him into Dimitri! In one final desperation attack, Tau puts together a combination of punches and kicks! Dimitri however, is not so impressed!*
Dimitri: heh, Didn't we go through this before?
*Again, in the EXACT scene that played out in their last encounter, Dimitri is able to block everything that Andre can muster and throw at him! But this time.. THIS TIME much more is on the line for The Capitalist, as he has a chance to finally scale to the top of the Federation he's been in for five years!*
Andre: …
Dimitri: ..o_o
Ref: ..oh..oh shit!
*As the referee DIVES for safety, Dimitri's smirk is wiped off of his face when he notices an intense rise in the temperature around him, and for the first time that anyone in the UCTF can remember, a look of surprise grows on the Russians face, as Andre digs deeper into parts of his ability that he's EVER reached, turning his ENTIRE body into one gigantic blue flame! Dimitri's power is overloaded in an instant, sent flying out of the ring with every article of his clothing burning to a crisp along the way!*
!!KRRRAAAAKAAA—BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Everyone: D:!!!
Bob: OH MY GOD!! SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!! Ralph: holy SHIT Bob: SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1 NOW!!!
*Dimitri lies several feet away, unconscious, while Andre Tau slowly falls face first into the canvas, COMPLETELY exhausted from the matchup!*
Bob: TAU WINS! TAU WINS! TAU WINS!
Arzie: Your winner… and STILLLL UCTF Anime Champion.. ANDRE TAUUUUUUU
*The fans cheer wildly as "FLAT SONG" begins playing again over the sound system! Unfortunately, Andre isn't around to enjoy any of it!*
Winner and STILL UCTF Anime Champion: Andre Tau
Bob: So the six man match is OFFICIALLY set… Andre Tau will join Inuyasha, BB Hood, Lo-Ruhamah, and Raven Darc in their quest to dethrone KUNOI ISHIGAMI from the top of the UCTF in tonight's main event! Ralph: I hate to break it to you.. but Andre is in no position to win that one.. o_o.. this guy is screwed. REALLY screwed.
*As the ring crew sets up the squared circle for the next match, we go backstage with Sue Tellarusso, who is standing next to the President of the UCTF... The one and only..*
Jeice: e_e..........
Sue: Um.. Sir.. You're about to go out and face Suicide... who... destroyed your house just a few weeks ago. Your thoughts?
Jeice: .........................I........... o_o... am going to hurt him. A lot. *walks off*
Sue: D:............
*The camera give a shot of the inside of the ring, where a Suitcase hangs above the center of the squared circle, thanks to scaffolding attached to the corners of the ring.*
Arzie: The Following contest is scheduled for one fall.. And it is a LADDER MATCH for the #1 Contendership to the UCTF Grand Championship! The rules are as follows... Suicide will have ten minutes to reach the suitcase containing a contract for a Championship match at a future date!
Ralph: too bad he'll never get to it..
*That's right, even HEEL COMMENTATOR Ralph Gerrard can't pretend that Suicide has a chance in hell! Speaking of the DEAD MAN WALKING, "Links 2, 3, 4" starts up, bringing down the challenger!*
Suicide: e_e!! JEICE'S ASS IS MINE!
Everyone: D:!!
Bob: ..what
*Yeah, somewhere in Suicide's dark pit of despair known as his brain, he's CONVINCED himself that he's not only able to keep up with Jeice, but that he's going to WIPE THE FLOOR with the President tonight!*
Bob: oh my god.. He's lost it. o_o.. He's really lost it.
*He climbs into the ring PUMPED!*
Suicide: >=| GET THAT ORANGE BITCH OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! WE'LL SEE WHO AIN'T GOT IT NO MO–
*The lights INSTANTLY go out over the arena, with the only illumination being the Jumbotron, that flashes black and white pictures of Jeice DESTROYING SSS at the UCTF: 200 show! It flashes to many other accomplishments, including putting down Android 17, winning World Titles in various Organizations, and holding four titles with Burter in the UCTF at ONE TIME. The background music is a pleasant, yet haunting nursery style tune, with the voice of none other than Marshal Mathers speaking to his little girl:*
Aww look at daddy's baby girl That's daddy baby Little sleepy head Yesterday I changed your diaper Wiped you and powdered you. How did you get so big? Can't believe it now your two Baby you're so precious Daddy's so proud of you SIT DOWN BITCH IF YOU MOVE AGAIN I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!
Bob: oh.. Oh.. Oh no..
*"KIM" by Eminem starts up, and out walks the Orange Crusher, SLOWLY sauntering down the aisle at an Undertaker like pace!*
Ralph: ...Folks.. Set your DVRs right now.. Get your last pictures of Suicide.. Because I have a feeling in a few short minutes, he will be unrecognizable o_o
*It takes so long for Jeice to get to the ring, that the song is on it's SECOND playthrough! Finally on the apron, Suicide wisely attacks before the start of the bell, as this may be his ONLY chance at offense! The bell sounds as the match officially starts!*
UCTF Grand Championship #1 Contendership Suicide vs. Jeice Ladder Match
10:00
Bob: Suicide giving Jeice EVERYTHING HE'S GOT in this opening contest, and Jeice hasn't FLINCHED. HASN'T MOVED A DAMN INCH!
*The President has climbed into the ring DURING the assault, not so much as bending a hair follical during Suicide's Berserker rage attack!*
Suicide: >=|!!!
*BALLSHOT to the groin goes unnoticed! THEN A SECOND, THEN A THIRD! Jeice is more concerned about taking off his "THE JEICE EXPERIENCE" Track Jacket than he is retailating to the former four time Anime Champion!*
Ralph: ..oh my god.. Suicide... run..
*Jeice has his back to Suicide, while fixing his hair in the corner.. All the while, Suicide is dropping elbow bombs into his back!*
Bob: SUICIDE, FORGET ABOUT YOUR CAREER! LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK!
*Now ready to fight, Jeice SLOWLY begins to turn around! Sprints away from him, gaining momentum from the ropes as he bounces back!*
Suicide: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Jeice: e_e Suicide: HHHHHHHHHHHHHH----achdkasdaldk O_O
*WHATEVER Conway was going for, is interrupted, as The Orange Crusher literally PUNCHES a whole through is body, RIPPING his heart out in the process!*
Bob: *PUKES IN A TRASHCAN* X_X! *FAINTS!* Ralph: HOLY SH–
*Jeice pulls his hand out of Suicide's wound, with the man's HEART ATTACHED, before flinging it into the crowd!*
Jeice: e_e someone go sell that on ebay.
Everyone: *PASSING OUT AND/OR PUKING*
*Somewhere, in someone's mom's basement.. A kid watches the action via youtube*
Kid: *typing* FFFFAAAAKKKEEE!!!!!!!!
*Bleeding PROFUSELY from his mouth and chest, Suicide falls face first, RIGHT into Jeice's arms, who stuffs a small legume into his mouth before slapping it shut.*
Ralph: ..n..no he didn't..
*Within a split second, Suicide's grown a new heart, his chest wound has closed up, and he's in PERFECT condition!*
Suicide: what the hu--
!!KRACKKKAAAA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!
*Before he even realizes he's healed, he's DAMN NEAR DECAPITATED BY THE CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL*
Jeice: e_e!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ralph: LMASDFLAKSDJFAS;DLFKJ LFMAO YES HE DID. HE GAVE SETH A SENSU BEAN! YES! Bob: *waking up* ugh.. What? Ralph: SENSU BEAN E_E Bob: What? Ralph: SEN-MOTHERFUCKING-SU BEAN! >=| HE RIPPED HIS HEART OUT JUST TO PROVE HOW EASILY HE COULD HAVE ENDED THIS MATCH! IT WAS JUST TO PROVE A POINT! Bob: what? X_X
*As Suicide is backflipping from the impact of the Lariat, Jeice SNATCHES his ass out of midair, locking on a belly to back waistlock! He Instantly snaps himself into a backbend, NAILING his opponent with a German Suplex! Jeice kicks off, rolling backwards through the bridge, and is back to his feet, WITH Seth still attached! He tosses him back, hitting a SECOND German! Rolling through again, Jeice stands Suicide back up, slipping his grasp from the waistlock into a Full Nelson, before hitting a DRAGON SUPLEX! He rolls through again, now twisting Suicide's body to where he is now behind him, Jeice delivers a FIERCE over the shoulder Judo arm throw! He rolls through the attack, standing himself and his opponent back up, now face to face, he lifts Suicide's leg into the attack, throwing him backwards into a bridged FISHERMAN'S SUPLEX! He rolls through AGAIN, standing Suicide up, before delivering an EXPLODER SUPLEX! Another roll through, Jeice delivers the EXPLODER ‘98, before floating over into the NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX not once, not twice, but THREE times before FINALLY, MERCIFULLY putting an end to this ridiculous suplex chain with the SAITO suplex, sending Suicide FLYING out of the ring and too the floor.*
Jeice: >=|............
Bob: o..oh my god.. Ralph: Bob, did you count how– Bob: no.. o_o I lost count after the second exploder.
*Suicide opens his eyes, and realizes he's finally out of Jeice's grasp.. He's on the outside of the ring, FAR away from the President!*
Suicide: >_< ...
*He turns his back on the ring, and everyone gives a sigh of relief as he FINALLY smartens up and begins to hobble towards the stage and leave his IMMINENT death at the hands of the President behind!!*
Bob: OH.. Oh thank God! Ralph: Alright, Seth's not as Stupid as he loo--
*Suicide looks at the giant countdown on the Jumbotron, before GRABBING the ladder, and turning back towards the ring*
Suicide: e_e Only Six Minutes Left.
Jeice: O_O Everyone: D:!!!!!!!!
Bob: WHAT. Ralph: THAT IDI-- Bob: AFTER THAT BEATING HE'S GOING BACK! HE'S GOING BACK WITH THE DAMN LADDER!
*BACK IN THE RING! Seth throws the ladder into the President! Jeice catches it, and tosses it back with Z-Warrior Strength, literally WRAPPING the damn thing around Conway!*
!!!KKKKKKKRRAAAAKAAA–MOTHERFUCKING–THOOM!!!!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!
*Now entangled in the ladder, Suicide is lifted upside down into the vertical suplex position, before driven into the ORANGE CRUSH POWERBOMB!*
Bob: JESUS CHRIST!! Ralph: oh my god o_o
Jeice: >=|!!!!!!!
*Conway is trying to pull himself out of the wreckage, while at the same time grasping his back in pain! Jeice, with a demented smile on his face, TAKES TO THE SKIES!*
Bob: JEICE IS GOING TO THE NOSE BLEEDS! THIS CAN'T BE GOOD!
*Twenty feet in the air, Jeice allows himself to fall from back to earth, bringing a DOUBLE STOMP onto the rungs on the ladder, DESTROYING whatever remained of the damn thing! Presumably with broken ribs all around, Seth WRITHES in pain on the canvas to a hushed Arena!*
Ralph: so much for climbing the ladder x_x Bob: SOMFEONE ASASDCALASLDKAFD 9-1-1!! DO IT NOW! >=| I'M TIRED OF YOU ASSHOLES NOT LISTENING TO ME
2:00
*With only two minutes left, Suicide drags his carcass to the corner, before climbing back to his feet with his arms one rope at a time. Jeice curiously watches, as Seth struggles to ascend to the top rope!*
Jeice: e_e...
*The Orange Crusher slowly lifts his right arm, forming ki into a small ball that fires into the back of Conway!*
Suicide: ARURGHGHGH.. E_E!! *CLIMBS*
Jeice: .........
*Jeice creates more small orbs of energy, shooting a increasing number of bolts into the former champion, who screams out in agony with each blow, but NEVER refuses to continue his ascent to the top rope! Now upstairs, Suicide strains to climb to the top of the of the scaffolding!*
Bob: Suicide is climbing to the stop of the scaffold! I know he's not going to– Ralph: HE BETTER HURRY! HE'S ONLY GOT A MINUTE LEFT!
:59
*Suicide's on top of the scaffolding, Jeice unleashes a barrage of ki bolts into the chest of Seth Conway, who barely has enough energy to lift his arms in front of his face to block them!*
Suicide: ARRGGHHHH!!!
Jeice: e_e!
*Conway refuses to go down, so Jeice is FORCED to bring out the big dog!*
Jeice: You did this to yourself, kid. e_e.. CRUSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Bob: JEICE! DON'T DO IT! YOU'RE GONNA KILL HIM! Ralph: o_o Seth put Andre Tau through a wall, flung shit all over the place at Jeice's house.. Embarrassed his kid in school, almost had his girlfriend trampled to death, and finally burned down his estate. Bob: ............FUCK IT. KILL HIM JEICE. E_E
*Suicide, COMPLETELY covered in blood from head to toe doesn't flinch at the site of the Crusher Ball gaining energy.. He has a mission to complete, and he'll do it, even if it kills him!*
Suicide: ;_; >=|!!!!!!
*He takes a LEAP OF FAITH off the scaffolding, landing in the center of the structure keeping the suitcase in place! The thin iron rods almost pierce his flesh, but he manages to hang on to a MASSIVE pop!*
Bob: HOLY CHRISTOPHER DANIELS!!
Jeice: o_o..
*Jeice watches the human sacrifice that was made.. And looks at the clock. THIRTY seconds remain, which is PLENTY of time to fly up there, rip Suicide's head off and feed it to him.. But...*
Jeice: *powers down* e_e
*He allows the energies of the Crusher Ball do Disperse into nothingness, and crosses his arms, ALLOWING Suicide to snatch the title off of the hook and fall 15 feet to the canvas HEAD FIRST! The match is over!*
Everyone: ...
Bob and Ralph: D:
*YEP! IT'S OVER! Suicide wins! You don't believe me?*
Arzie: the uhh.. Winner of this match.. And NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE UCTF GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP.. SETH.. CONWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! *told you, ASSHOLES!*
Winner: Suicide
Ralph: THAT'S IT?! THAT'S IT?!!? Bob: I du– Ralph: after all that.. He LET'S Seth get the suitcase! Bob: I– Ralph: THAT'S BULLSHIT! >=|
*Laying completely motionless on the canvas, and covered in a pool of his own blood, Seth looks up at Jeice, who's now kneeling above him.*
Suicide: x_x I... I.. Still... got it... Jeice: yeah kid. e_e you still got it. You still got it.
Ralph: OH SCREW THE WHOLE MUTUAL RESPECT SHIT! THAT WAS – Bob: SHUTUP!
*The EMTs rush down to cart Suicide away..*
Bob: oh.. NOW they show up! e_e.. Fucking 9-1-1...
Arzie: The following MAIN EVENT is scheduled for one fall.. AAANNNDDDDDD IT IS FOR THE ULTIMATE CROSSOVER TOURNAMENT FIGHTING LEAGUE'S GRAAAAAAAAAAANNDDDDDD CHAMPIONSHIP!
*Through the arena's system, trumpets burst with an epic sounding fanfare known as "Hanyou Inuyasha!" Seconds into the song, The Half Breed slowly makes his way onto the stage, clutching his Tessaiga by his side!*
Arzie: Introducing first, from FEUDAL JAPAN... He is the Undefeated UCTF Swordmaster Champion... THE DOG DEMONNNN.. INUUUUYASSHHAAAAA!!!!!!
Bob: Inuyasha has made a quick impact in the UCTF, defeating BB Hood and winning the Swordmaster Championship in his debut match, earning him a spot here tonight! Ralph: And has made quick fools out of anyone stupid enough to climb into the ring with him up to this point o_o. I see him walking away with the Grand Title tonight.
*The second he climbs into the ring, his music fades, then is quickly replaced by Rob Zombie's "Living Deadgirl." BB storms onto the stage, holding a title in each hand!*
Arzie: And from Parts Unknown, She is the UCTF National Rifle Association Champion, and one half of the NEW UCTF Tag Team Champions... She is the Demon Huntress... BABBBBBYYY BONNNNNIIEEEEE HOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!
Bob: Speaking of the Devil.. Here she comes! Ralph: Former World Champion, Former Swordmaster, current NRA and Tag Team Champion! I'm calling it right now, she's going to win the big one tonight!
*There's no love lost between Inuyasha and BB Hood, as they stare each other down in the center of the ring. That's when "Flat Song" by the Rock ‘n Roll Soldiers starts up, causing the crowd to ERUPT! Limping from the back onto the stage is Andre Tau.. Who went through HELL to get to this match! Going through a wall courtesy of Suicide, getting ganged in the Battle Royale, The Capitolist has fought every step of his career to make it to THIS moment!*
Arzie: AND INTRODUCING NEXT.... THE UCTF ANIME CHAMPION! THE MAN WHO HAS ONLY TWO TITLE WINS AWAY FROM BECOMING A GRANDDD SLAM CHAMPION... ANDREEEEEEEEE "THE PYROMANIAC" TAUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
Bob: Andre Tau can follow the footsteps of William Clarke by winning the Grand Championship and winning the Tag Team Championship, which would make him a Grand Slam Champion! Ralph: Which is a 99% possibility! Andre Tau has shown more heart than anyone I've see in the UCTF in a long long time! Go ahead and say "AMAZING" Bob, cause he's going to win the BIG ONE tonight!
Have Mercy on Me... A Sinner
*"Backdraft" by Apoptygma Berzerk kicks up next! Lo-Ruhamah makes his way out next! As he stands on the stage, he looks down at his precious UCTF World Championship, hoping to add another belt to his collection! Inside the ring, BB Hood gives The "Unloved One" a stare that could KILL! And why wouldn't she? He left her to die weeks ago!*
Arzie: Andddd hailing from California.. He is the UCTF WOOORRRRRLLLDDDD CHAMPION.... THE UNLOVED ONE, LO-RUHAMAH!!!
Bob: The Multiple time World Champion has proven time and time again that he is one of the most dangerous, most talented Superstars to EVER walk into the UCTF! Ralph: you're damn right o_o He made a career out of making Bryan Amethyst his bitch! I don't care if this guy is a cat fucker, Bob. I'm calling it RIGHT NOW. Lo-Ruhamah wins the UCTF Grand Championship.. TONIGHT! Bob: O_o
*"Halo" By Soil kicks up next, and out comes Raven Darc, who's THOROUGHLY pumped and ready to go! On the stage, he screams for the fans to stand up and cheer, before storming down to the ring with Purpose!*
Arzie: HAILING FROM HAYBORN, SCOTLAND.. HE IS THE THREE TIME UCTF INTERGALACTIC CHAMPION, THE HALF DEMON, RAVENNNNN DARRRCCCCC!!!!
Bob: Only second in the UCTF to The Grand Champion, Raven has dominated his opponents for half a decade in the League! Ralph: And since winning the IG Championship, NO ONE has been able to step up to him in the squared circle! He's been the best I've ever seen! He even vanquished the Federation of Heero FREAKIN Yuy! NO ONE'S ever done that! >=| LOOK. HE'S GOING TO WIN IT. HE'S GOING TO BE THE GRAND CHAMPION! Bob: uhh.. You said that about e– Ralph: RAVEN DARC. Bob: k
*The Five Champions are stuffed into the squared circle with tensions building! Raven's music dies down, and for the next 30 or so seconds, there is NO sound from the Arena's system! The competitors grow with unrest along with the Capacity crowd!*
Bob: He's already playing mind games with them e_e
*The fans can't contain themselves anymore, and start to cause a ruckus!*
Crowd: KUNOI SUCKS! KUNOI SUCKS! KUNOI SUCKS! KUNOI SUCKS! KUNOI SUCKS! KUNOI SUCKS! KUNOI SUCKS! KUNOI SUCKS!
*The camera spots a kid in the nosebleeds, holding up a sign that says "KUNOI'S GIRLFRIEND CAN'T SAVE HIM TONIGHT!"*
Bob: HAH!
*And then it FINALLY happens! "Water Pow" by B-DASH kicks up, causing a collective ROAR of heel heat from the fans! Kunoi slowly saunters onto the stage, Grand Title in one hand, and a MIDDLE FINGER with the other to the fans!*
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! >=|!!!!!!!!!!
Arzie: AND FINALLY... FROM SAPPORO CITY, IN THE HOKKAIDO PREFECTURE OF JAPAN... MAKING HIS WAY DOWN TO THE RING FOR HIS SECOND CHAMPIONSHIP DEFENSE OF THE NIGHT... HE IS THE ULTIMATE CROSSOVER TOURNAMENT FIGHTING LEAGUE'S GRAND CHAMPION... THE ONLY CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE THAT MEANS YOU'RE NUMBER ONE IN THE WORLD OF FIGHTING... HE IS THE DESTROYER... KUNOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ISHIGAMIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!
Bob: Second Defense?! That first match was a damn JOKE! Ralph: BUT IT WAS A TITLE MATCH! Why don't you stop being so damn Biased! >=| Bob: .. Ralph: Kunoi's got the spirit, the determination! ..............HE'S GOING TO WIN THIS MA– Bob: WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! >=| Ralph: X_X anyway.. I bet after this match.. If he DOES win, he's going to be COMPLETELY exhausted. Bob: Ralph, everyone's going to be dead tired after this match, regardless of the winner. Ralph: e_e yep.
*Kunoi Ishigami leaps into the ring. Without showboating, he walks to the middle of the ring, getting in the faces of ALL FIVE of his opponents, while making inaudible comments to them and pointing his index finger in their direction! They all look at each other for a half second in confusion/disbelief, before responding with a collective FIVE WAY PUNCH to the face of the Grand Champion!*
Crowd: *HUGE POP!*
Ralph: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!!? Bob: THE MATCH HAS BEGUN!
Judgment Day Andre Tau vs. Baby Bonnie Hood vs. Kunoi Ishigami vs. Raven Darc vs. Inuyasha vs. Lo-Ruhamah UCTF Grand Champion
Bob: THE UCTF GRAND TITLE IS ON THE LINE! Ralph: Look at that! Kunoi's BACK UP AND CHARGING THE ENTIRE GROUP!! Bob: Which probably isn't a goo–
*Inuyasha ducks a wild kick from Kunoi, delivering one of his own right into the base of the Grand Champion's spine! That sends him flying into Raven Darc, who hooks Kunoi around the neck for the Endless Waltz! Right as he throws his body weight backwards, Andre Tau springboards off the top rope, locking on a Front Chancery on Ishigami! They hit an Endless Waltz/Evenflow DDT combination in the center of the ring! Kunoi rolls on his head, like that poor bastard from Ivan the Urban Action Figure, flipping onto his back, right as BB Hood lands on top of him, firing TWENTY TWO gunshots to the chest, followed by FOUR Apple Bombs that explode on impact! Before the smoke clears, Lo-Ruhamah, illuminated with white light, hit's the "FINAL JUDGEMENT" moonsault!*
Ralph: uhh.. Yeah o_o He's not getting up now.
*In fact, Kunoi WISELY rolls out of the ring to catch a breather! Unfortunately for him, however, Andre Tau won't allow it to happen! When Kunoi pulls himself up by the guard railing, He's clobbered by The Anime Champion, who delivers a spring board plancha from the inside of the ring that sends BOTH men over the railing and into the damn fans!*
Crowd: X___X!!!
*At the exact moment, on the inside of the ring, BB instantly attacks Lo-Ruhamah with a takedown to the canvas!*
Bob: Well THAT didn't take long!
*Lo blocks her attempt of decapitation via Army Knife, while both go rolling to the outside of the ring! That only leaves....*
Inuyasha: ...... Raven: ......
*The two biggest men inside the squared circle, who slowly turn and face each other!*
Bob: uh oh.. Ralph: Two half demons! THAT MAKES ONE WHOLE DEMON IN THE RING! Bob: ..yeah.
*The Staredown continues for a few seconds, until finally, both men lunge toward each other, trading punches in the center of the ring!*
!!FLOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
*In the crowd, Kunoi is knocked back ten feet via an Ignite Explosion Punch by the Anime Champion! Quickly rolling backwards to his feet, Kunoi grabs the closest chair to him, and flings it into the charging Andre's face, WRAPPING it around his neck!*
Bob: GOOD GOD O_O
*Dazed, Andre falls victim to the Exploder Suplex onto the concrete, sending the chair flying!*
Kunoi: >=|!!!
*Raven outbrawls the Hanyou inside the ring, beating him into the ropes, before launching him across the ring with an irish whip! Well... atleast that's what he WANTED to do.*
Raven: o_o Inuyasha: e_e
*The Halfdemon plants his feet into the ropes, REFUSING to budge for the irish whip! Instead, he yanks Raven forward, NAILING him with a short arm clothesline!*
Bob: Inuyasha with a HUGE clothesline! Ralph: Raven had a look of shock in his eyes.. I don't think he's ever been over powered before o_o
*Inuyasha may be stronger, but Raven has more experience in the ring! Once he goes down, he trips up the Half-Demon with a drop toe hold! Floating over, He locks on a front headlock, attempting to keep the Swordmaster Champion on the canvas! Not a good idea! Inuyasha POWERS back to his feet with Raven attached!*
Raven: O_O.. e_e!
*But Raven uses his wrestling skill to deliver a headlock takeover back tot he canvas!*
Inuyasha: You're PISSING ME OFF! >=|
*Raven keeps the headlock on tight, but it doesn't matter, as Inuyasha SITS UP! With the Intergalactic Champion now on his shoulder, the half demon powers back to his feet!*
Raven: oh SHIT
*As Inuyasha takes off across the ring, Raven releases his hold, landing behind the Swordmaster! Inuyasha turns around, and EATS a Savate kick right in the face!*
Inuyasha: ...........
*AND COMPLETELY NO SELLS IT!*
Raven: O_O! Inuyasha: IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!
*Darc's feet are now OVER HIS HEAD as he crash lands on the canvas! His trench coat is ripped with claw marks from the attack!*
*Outside the ring, Lo-Ruhamah is shoved into the guardrail, where the remaining members of the "PEMFs" PUNISH the World Champion for his involvement in the Barf Burger fire weeks ago! BB Joins in, making it a five on one attack!*
Ralph: Yeah, I bet Lo's rethinking the whole "Save the Damsel in Distress" thing right about now. Bob: Someone needs to stop selling these Pancake Eating Motherfuckers tickets! They're always interferring in our matches! AND HOW DO THEY ALWAYS GET FRONT ROW?!!?
*No one knows! But what we DO know is that BB is preparing to skin the Unloved one via the standard issue Army knife!*
BB: stand still. Lo: O_O
*Lo kicks WILDLY and manages to knock BB away, before swinging chi filled knife edged chops at anything moving! It works, knocking the Redshirts back to their seats! But, keeping his eyes off of the trained Demon Huntress for even a SECOND proves to be a bad idea! When Lo turns back around–*
BB: apple.
*Lo instinctively catches the C-4 filled apple that EXPLODES on contact! Lo falls backwards in slow motion before crashing on the concrete!*
Lo: X_X
Bob: JESUS CH–that's it for Lo! That's GOTTA be it for the world Champion! Ralph: Yeah..
*Elsewhere, Kunoi continues his assault on Tau, by stomping the Anime Champion relentlessly! Grabbing the Shield's family member by his blue lockes, he lets the champ know exactly how he feels!*
Kunoi: YOU MADE A MISTAKE SHOWING UP HERE TON–
*Tau sends a flare from his palm RIGHT into the face of Ishigami, sending the Grand Champion stumbling away! It was the surprise attack he needs, as he stands back to his feet, and hits the champ with a FLASH CLOTHESLINE that sends the champion corkscrewing through the air and crashing into some more innocent bystanders!*
Bob: FLASH CLOTHESLINE! Kunoi's down! Ralph: Kunoi might be BLIND after that! >=|
*Ishigami writhes in pain, covering his eyes from the fire! Tau closes in! Kunoi, blinded, but acting on pure instinct alone, swings for ANYTHING he can hit! It's not enough, as Tau kicks the Grand Champion in the gut, followed by the EVEN FLOW DDT on a mound of chairs!*
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Bob: My GOD! The Grand Champion is OUT of the Equation! Ralph: That was the most awesome DDT I've ever seen o_o Look at him! He's still resting on the top of his head!
*Andre climbs back into the ring, along with BB Hood, that already contains a downed Raven Darc, and the awaiting Inuyasha!*
Andre: ... Inuyasha: ... BB: .....
*Andre and BB simultaneously attack the Swordmaster Champion with a blitzkreig of fire and, molotov and missle attacks that bare ZERO effect on the champion, who delivers a double clothesline to both the NRA and Anime Champions!*
Ralph: FIRE ATTACKS DON'T WORK, IDIOT! Bob: I think they figured that out the hard way o_o
*Tau and Hood are back up, and as tenacious as they can be, deliver a double kick to the midsection! They hook a double front chancery...*
Bob: I think we're going to see a double DD— o_o oh my GOD
*But the swordmaster lifts them BOTH into the air!*
Bob: WHAT POWER! WHAT STRENGTH FROM THE SWOR–
*Lo-Ruhamah, back in the ring, chop blocks Inuyasha from the front, taking his legs out from under him! Andre and BB come back down to the earth, NAILING the double DDT!*
Crowd: *POP!*
Ralph: JESUS!!! Bob: What a DDT on the Dog Demon!!!
*Once Inuyasha is out of the way, The World Champion immediately resumes his battle with BB Hood, tossing her to her stomach via the Purgatory Whip! He rolls through the arm throw, and into Andre Tau, hitting the Heavenly Step Kick to send the Anime Champion into the corner! Andre bounces off, and runs right into a kick to the midsection! Lo wastes no time afterwards, hitting the elevated powerbomb he calls "Welcome to Sheol!" Right after driving Andre neck first into the canvas, Lo lifts him BACK up for a second until–*
!!POP!!
*BB hits him from behind with a C-4 chair!*
Lo: ...e_e!!
*Lo tosses Andre aside, before turning around, EXTREMELY upset! BB drops the chair, before flaring up a Molotov Cocktail in his FACE!*
Lo: CVAS)DASDFDIWAHAS BB: no sell that.
*Pulling out another C-4 chair out of thin air, BB climbs to the top rope! With Inuyasha, Lo-Ruhamah, and Andre are all down, BB licks her lips in excitement while deciding WHICH one to finish off!*
Bob: I think we're about to see the Arabian Face Destroyer!!
*BB makes her decision, then instantly LEAPS off the top rope! The finisher will never connect however, as RAVEN DARC savate kicks the little girl RIGHT out of the air!*
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!
Bob: SUPERKICK!!
Raven: ... >=|!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
*Raven has suddenly returned to the ring, and TRANSFORMS into his Full Demon mode! As Inuyasha, Lo-Ruhamah, BB Hood, and Andre Tau all slowly return to their feet, The half demon from Scotland sends a barrage of chains from into all four competitors!*
BB, Inuyasha, Andre, and Lo: O_O! Raven: >=|!!
!!!!!!!!THHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!!
*The Intergalactic Champion sends Black Thunder through the chains! Following a bright light throughout the entire arena, Raven stands alone in the center of the ring, SINGLE HANDEDLY taking down the four remaining fighters in the match!*
Bob: Raven Darc with a BRILLIANT four way attack there, but it looks like he's been weakened from the attack himself!
*Bad news for Raven! He's hit a high impact move but can't capitalize.. And what's worse–*
Kunoi: e_e!!!
Ralph: OH SHIT!
*The Grand Champion is back, and perched on the top rope! The fans try their best to warn The Intergalactic Champion of the impending danger!*
Raven: O_o wh–
!!WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
*Darc is NAILED with the Buisaku Knee strike from the top rope that literally knocks the demon mode RIGHT OUT OF HIM! Kunoi covers, hooking the leg!*
Ref: 1........ 2............ 2.99999999!!!
*By way of MIRACLE, Raven kicks out! No matter, as Kunoi instantly crawls over to Andre Tau!*
Ref: 1......... 2.........2.9999999!!!
*KICK OUT BY INUYASHA! Kunoi rolls over to BB Hood–*
Ref: 1.......2........2.99999999!!
*Then to Lo!*
Ref: 1.......2........2.999999999!!
*Then FINALLY to Inuyasha!*
Ref: 1....2.........2.9999999999!!!!
Kunoi: DAMNIT!! >=|
*Tau is back to his feet, but before he can attack the Grand Champion, Kunoi drop kicks him in the bad knee, sending Tau FLIPPING forward from the assault! Kunoi then leaps on top of the Anime Champion, Kunoi locks on the Rolling Cross Kneebreaker known as the Hizajujigatame in attempt to hyperextend the knee!*
Andre: ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Bob: Kunoi going RIGHT to the knee! Ralph: GENIUS! GENIUS!! Bob: KUNOI COULD RETAIN RIGHT HERE!
*Andre lifts his arm and brings it down to tap out, only for LO-RUHAMAH to catch it!*
Lo: >=| DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP, IDIOT!
Bob: Lo-Ruhamah saves Andre! .......Lo-Ruhaman saves Andre?!!? Ralph: Don't over think it, Bob e_e He didn't want this match to end!
*Locking Andre's hand and keeping it from making the tap out, Lo-Ruhamah shoots Kunoi with the "Armaggedon Glare" to the champion's face, breaking the hold!*
Andre: >_< thanks.. Lo: ....you're welcome...e_e ARRRGHHH!!
*Lo INSTANTLY turns on Andre, using his black arts to contort the Anime Champion in the way God NEVER intended the human body to bend!*
Bob: and now LO has Andre locked in that WICKED submission hold! Ralph: Lo! Watch out for BB!
*BB is back up! But before striking, her eyes widen, and she slides under the bottom rope and out of the ring!*
Lo: O_o what's wrong with her? Inuyasha: e_e!
*From Behind, Inuyasha is back to his feet, and has unsheathed the Tessaiga!*
Ralph: OH FU–
Inuyasha: WINDDDDDDDDDDSCARRRRRRRRRR!!!!
!!THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!
*Lo is ELIMINATED from the equasion, almost sending Andre Tau out of the ring as well! Raven is back up! BAD IDEA!*
Inuyasha: e_e! WIND SCAR!!!!!!!!!!
*With Raven garnering Inuyasha's full attention, BB Hood strikes from behind, attempting to chop block the Dog Demon in the back of his knee... but Inuyasha doesn't budge an INCH!*
BB: ..o_o guys?
*The Woodsman hit the ring at the whim of their boss, dogpiling the swordmaster Champion! As per usual, their gang style attack proves fruitless, as they feel the full effects of the Wind scar, knocking them BACK into the crowd!*
Inuyasha: >=|
*From behind, Kunoi starts backpeddles, not wanting to have ANYTHING to do with another fighter who loves using Swords.. Unfortunately for him, Andre Tau KICKS him in the back, knocking him into Inuyasha!*
Inuyasha: ....
*The half demon slowly turns around and stares down Kunoi to a MASSIVE ovation!*
Inu: e_e.... Kunoi: ....................
*Kunoi has NO choice, he KNIFE EDGED CHOPS Inuyasha!*
Bob: O_O! Ralph: BALLS OF STEEL!
*Balls of steel or not–*
Inuyasha: WINDSCAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*It doesn't mean a hill of beans, as he's blown CLEAR out of the ring!*
Bob: YES!! KUNOI'S DOWN! Ralph: .. Bob: I mean.. WHAT A MOVE BY INUYASHA!
*Andre gets the hell out of dodge, and because of it, Inuyasha stands alone inside the squared circle!*
Bob: Who, if ANYONE has the guts to get in the ring with this monster?!
*That question is answered, as Raven Darc climbs back into the ring with a STERN expression in his eyes!*
Inuyasha: ... Raven: My turn.
*Inuyasha clutches the blade, and the words "WIND" begin to form on his lips! But this time, Raven has a surprise of his own.. Powering back up to his full demon state, he unleashes his ULTIMATE attack, the–*
Raven: BLACK HOLE NOVAAAAAAA BLASTTTTTT!!!!
Inuyasha: O_O!!
*The Wind scar is defeated with EASE as the highly unstable ball of black energy engulfs him, OBLITERATING the Swordmaster Champion!*
Crowd: O_O!! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
*Returning to his normal form, Raven is SPENT, but satisfied that he's FINALLY taken down the Dog Demon! That weak smile on his face wouldn't last long at all however, as BB Hood comes off the top rope with ANOTHER C4 Chair, THIS TIME hitting the Arabian Face Destroyer to the back of the head!*
Ralph: ARABIAN FACE DESTROYER!!!
*The double champion shoots the half nelson, covering Raven for the win!*
Ref: 1.........2.....2.9999999999
*Andre makes the save!*
Bob: we were less than a SECOND away from having a new Grand Champion! Ralph: BB isn't happy about it either o_o
*Tau and BB battle each other by trading punches as they slowly rise to their feet.. Gaining the upperhand, Tau irish whips the NRA Champion across the ring, followed by a head-scissors take over onto the remnants of the chair! He covers!*
Ref: 1... 2... 2.9999999999
*Lo back in the ring makes the last minute save!*
Bob: ANOTHER close shave! Ralph: Something BIG is going to have to happen for this match to end! As long as anyone's breathing in there, NO ONE'S going to make that pin!
*Something big huh? e_e Speaking of which.. SOMEONE is climbing back into the ring, and he's HIGHLY upset!*
Inuyasha: e_e!!!!!!!!!
Bob: oh..oh.. Oh no o_o Ralph: EVERYONE SCATTER! RAVEN'S FINISHER DIDN'T WORK!
*Lo, Raven, Andre, and BB, all leaning on each other for support as they stand back to their feet, can't BELIEVE Inuyasha is back!*
Inuyasha: e_e Time to END THIS.
*The dog demon draws the Tessaiga back, that's begins to gloss over with DIAMOND!*
Inuyasha: ADAMANT.................
Everyone: O_O
Inuyasha: BARRAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Shards of diamond fly across the ring accompanying the Wind Scar technique! With less than a second to react, BB, Lo, and Andre hit the deck! The Intergalactic Champion however, isn't so lucky! A Giant, tree-trunk sized shard of diamond penetrates Raven through the chest, sending him THROUGH–yes, THROUGH the ropes!*
Bob: JESUS H CHRIST!! Ralph: O_O! What did– Bob: INUYASHA RAN HIM THROUGH WITH A DIAMOND!! SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!!! Ralph: Bob– Bob: SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW! >=|
*This time, they listen to Bob! EMTs rush to the scene where Raven is bleeding PROFUSELY! It's safe to say that his run for the title is OVER!*
Bob: MY GOD X_X MY GOD how did Inuyasha do that?! Ralph: o_o
*Surgeons are on the scene trying to remove the diamond from Raven! Inside the ring, The remaining warriors realize what they have to do! Set aside their differences and take down the half demon! Inuyasha knocks BB away with a kick, Knocks Lo down with a strike! But he's too slow for Andre, who delivers a kick to the midsection!*
Bob: Andre could hit th–
*SUDDEN IMPACT/EVENFLOW DDT on Inuyasha!*
Bob: HE HIT–WHAT THE FU–
*Inuyasha is back up BEFORE Tau!*
Tau: O_O!!
*AND TAKES HIS HEAD OFF WITH A CLOTHESLINE!*
Ralph: WHAT?!!? Bob: INUYASHA CAN'T BE STOPPED! HE CAN'T BE FUCKING ST–
*Kunoi locks up the full nelson on Inuyasha from behind, delivering the LOCOMOTION DRAGON SUPLEX! Mounting the Demon from behind, Kunoi pulls off the mystical coat of the fire rat!*
Kunoi: e_e! BB!!
*BB lands on top of Inuyasha, unloading a FULL CLIP from her uzi into him, followed by 23 heat seeking missles, FINALLY into four GIGANTIC apple bomb! Everyone hits the deck!*
!!KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!
Bob: HYPER APPLE FOR YOU! HYPER APPLE FOR YOU BY BB!! Ralph: X_X h..he's not moving. Inuyasha's done! FINALLY!
*After FINALLY taking down Inuyasha, Kunoi and BB look at each other for a split second, before trading punches in the center of the ring!*
Crowd: *POPS!*
*You can do a lot to Kunoi Ishigami, but trading blows with argubly the BEST striker in the UCTF is a VERY bad Idea! He cracks BB across the face with a overhand chop, knocking her silly! Using his superior strengh, he lifts the NRA Champion onto his shoulders, preparing to put her away with the DIAMOND HEAD!*
Kunoi: THIS MATCH IS OVER E_E!! O_O!!!
!!THOOOOOOOOM!!
*But Tau doesn't allow it, SPEARING The Grand Champion in the center of the ring!*
Bob: SPEAR!! SPEAR!! SPEAR!!
*With Kunoi laying motionless on the canvas, Andre locks a front chancery on BB Hood, preparing for the DDT!*
Lo: e_e!!
*Ruhamah sneaks up from behind, but is CAUGHT with a back kick from Andre! Wrapping his free arm around Lo's neck, and BB Hood in the front Chancery, Andre drops to the canvas, delivering a ignited Leg Drop on Kunoi, Evenflow DDT on BB, and a ACE CRUSHER on Lo-Ruhamah, and the SUDDEN IMPACT at the SAME. MOTHERFUCKING. TIME!!!*
!!KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
Ralph: *JUMPS OUT OF HIS SEAT* HOLY FUCK!!! Bob: HOW THE HELL"!?!?!!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
*Andre stands back to his feet, looking at the flaming ring with bodies littered EVERYWHERE!*
Bob: This is it! THIS IS IT! Ralph: SAY IT BOB! Bob: AMAZING, NEW GR--
!!!BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!
*The commentators have spoken too soon, as Andre is DROPPED from behind by none other than..*
Dimitri: e_e!!
Bob: asldkfa;sdlfkjasd;flkj!! Ralph: WHAT. Bob: DIMITRI THAT PIECE OF SHIT!
*Taking the Anime Champion down with a Psionic blast from behind Dimitri leaves the ring with the BIGGEST smirk on his face! Dazed from the attack, Andre tries to climb back to his feet, but fails!*
Kunoi: x_o...
*And that's when Kunoi sees his one and only opportunity!*
Kunoi: e_e!!!!!!!!!!
*Kunoi rolls forward, flying RIGHT into Andre's leg, taking him down and locking on the "MELVIC CAPTURE" submission!!*
Andre: ARRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Bob: NO!! NOT THIS WAY!! NO!! NO!! Ralph: you HAVE TO BE KI-
*ANDRE TAPS OUT, AND THE FANS RIOT!*
Bob: SON OF A FSDLFKAJD;FALKDSJ SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!
Ralph: IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! KUNOI RETAINS! Bob: SON OF A BITCH!! Ralph: WHAT A MATCH! WHAT A MATCH! Bob: GIVE THE ASSIST TOSD.FAJSDFLAKDSF FUCKING DIMITRI!! DAMN HIM TO HELL!
*"Water Pow" by B-Dash picks up, as the fans throw MASS quanities of trash into the ring! The referee hands Kunoi the Grand Title and raises the mans hand, who can barely stand on his feet!*
Winner and STILL UCTF Grand Champion: Kunoi Ishigami
Bob: I..I can't x_x.. I can't believe this– Ralph: Welp, I'm going to help Kunoi celebrate! WOOHOO! KUNOI WINS! Bob: What?! Ralph: I'm going! See ya later! Bob: get your ass ba– Ralph: LATER!
*Ralph leaves the commentators tower, and within a few seconds, is in the ring with Kunoi and the referee, celebrating the victory!*
Bob: What the hell is going on O_o–oh..oh no.. RALPH!! RALPH YOU SNEAKY SON OF A BITCH!
*Bob knows what's going down, but Kunoi, in a mix of exhaustion and confusion, has NO idea what Ralph has up his sleeve until it's too late!*
Ralph: Congrats, champ! Kunoi: What? O_o Ralph: You won! Great match! Kunoi: tha–
*Ralph KICKS Kunoi's knee out from under him to a MASSIVE pop!*
Ref: O_O! Ralph: RING THE FUCKING BELL, NOW! E_E
*THAT'S RIGHT. HE'S CASHING IN HIS APRIL FOOLS DAY WISH!*
Ralph Gerrard vs. Kunoi Ishigami UCTF Grand Championship
*Ralph mounts Kunoi Ishigami, POUNDING the exhausted Grand Champion with a nonstop barrage of punches and elbows like a MADMAN!*
Bob: I –I can't believe I'm about to say this but.. RALPH IS WITHIN INCHES OF WINNING THE GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP!!
*Kunoi shoves Ralph off, who grabs a molotov out of BB's handbag and SHATTERS the wine bottle over his head! Kunoi staggers into the ropes and into a kick by the commentator! Ralph lifts him upside down and hits the PILEDRIVER!*
Bob: PILEDRIVER!! PILEDRIVER!! PILEDRIVER!
*He covers!*
Ref: 1.......... 2......... 2.99999999
*Kunoi kicks out!*
Ralph: DAMNIT! DAMNIT! >=|
*As Ralph leaves the ring, he goes underneath the apron looking for a weapon to use, meanwhile, inside the ring...*
Lo: ... BB: ... Andre: ....
*BB Hood NAILS Kunoi in the balls!, Followed by a Double DDT by both Andre Tau and Lo-Ruhamah before the defeated warriors leave the ringside area!*
Bob: WHAT?!!?!? WHAT?!!? THEY'RE HELPING?!!?
*And Ralph comes from underneath the rings with a BAG OF DOORKNOBS!*
Bob: ...oh no.. OH NO!!
*OH YES. E_E! The fat Commentator climbs back in the ring!*
Ralph: GET UP! >=| GET UP!!
*Kunoi goes to stand up, but FALLS again! A second try, he's barely back to his feet, and here comes Ralph, Wailing the bag of doorknobs wildly! Kunoi DUCKS the attack, before hitting his CHOKE SLEEPER SUPLEX super finisher on the commentator!*
Ralph: LKDSFAJS;DLFKJASx_xx_
Bob: OH MY GOD!!
Kunoi: YOU SON OF A BITCH! >=|!!!!!
*Ralph is PULLED back to his feet, and is hit with a GUT PUNCH, TWO BITCHSLAPS, A ROLLING CHOP, A KNEE STRIKE, A HIGH ROUNDHOUSE KICK, AND FINALLY THE BUISAKU KNEE TO THE FACE!*
Bob: MY GOD!! MY GOD!!
*Kunoi leaps onto Ralph, locking on the Sankakujime!!!! Ralph taps INSTANTLY!*
!!DING DING DING!! DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!!
*The match is over, "Water Pow" kicks back up again, as Kunoi has defended his title for the THIRD TIME in one night! A TEAM of referees have to enter the ring to pull the rabid Japanese man off of Ralph, who is now puking blood in the center of the ring!*
Kunoi: LET ME GO! LET ME GO! E_E YOU WANNA FIGHT FOR THE TITLE HUH?!?!!? YOU WANNA FIGHT ME FOR THE TITLE HUH?!!?!
Winner and STILL UCTF Champion: Kunoi Ishigami
Bob: D:.... for Ralph Gerrard.. Who probably won't be back next week.. This is Bob Hinden saying.. Goodnight.
Ralph: *PUKES BLOOD* X_X
End.