!!!!!!KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!

*The Show starts off with "The Hand That Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails playing over the sound system! Pyrotechnics explode throughout the UCTF Mecha Arena as the camera pans through the tens of thousands of screaming fans in attendance for tonight's pay per view! ...well, not everyone's screaming, there's a few haters in the audience who's preparing for the big mecha showdown a little later, but for the most part, the fans are shouting with excitement! The cameras take us to Bob and Ralph, both wearing their Sunday best for tonight's occasion...*

Bob: Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the NINETH edition of The UCTF Pay Per View Classic, ON YOUR COMPUTER! I am Robert Hinden, along side the hentai commentator, Ralph Gerrard!
Ralph: That's right. Tonight we have FOUR count em FOUR titles on the line! Taki will defend her newly won UCTF Swordmaster Title against none other than the fat merchant himself.. Torneco!
Bob: The Mecha Title will come out of retirement TONIGHT, as Bryan Amethyst in Anubis will take on Duke Fleed in Grendizer at the Player Hater's ball!
Ralph: It's been two years in the making! Countdown will square off against the man who drug his mask through the mud.. The man who made HISTORY a few weeks ago by becoming the first FOUR TIME UCTF Anime Champion.. Suicide!
Bob: That's MILITARY champion now!
Ralph: oh.. Sorry x_x
Bob: And the big match.. Tonight we will see Melvic Lillith, Shawn Shane Shields, Raven Darc, Kunoi Ishigami, Yugo Ogami, and the Champion, Xion The Unborn duke it out in a six way, landmine, barbwire, razor wire, exploding cage death match for the UCTF Grand Championship!
Ralph: and of course... thebestof37x.x

*SPEAKING of the Best of Thirty-Seven, inside the ring is none other than the NEW new UCTF Revolution! Ric Austin, their fearless leader had a microphone!*

Ric Austin: E_E TONIGHT I AM GOING TO MAKE UCTF HISTORY! I WILL BE THE FIRST UCTF SUPERSTAR TO EVER WIN THIRTY SEVEN MATCHES IN ONE NIGHT! AND AFTERWARDS, I'M COMING AFTER YOU, YOU CIGARETTE SMOK—

!!HEY MR. WONDERFUL OH YOU'RE SO INCREDIBLE! HEY MR. WONDERFUL WONDERFUL TO ME!!

*Ric Austin's loud mouth is MERCIFULLY killed by Quadruple N's personal band! Down comes the second participant to the most intense and enduring match the UCTF's ever put on.. The Best of Thirty Seven!*

Ralph: I never thought I'd be glad to hear THIS theme
Bob: anything's better than hearing Ric Austin x_x
Ralph: You know.. I sincerely hope this fued is OVER after this match. PLEASE let it be over!

*The former Interplanetary champion dives into the ring! Brian, Steve Babaganoush, and Ed The Janitor do as instructed and attack the saiyan at once!*

!!DING DING DING!!

Ric Austin vs. NNNN
Best of Thirty Seven

Bob: And here we go!
Ralph: if they were smart, they'd hold NNNN down and let Ric Austin get 37 pinfalls!
Bob: oh if things were ever that easy Ralph!
Ralph: yeah =\ ...man and I had been saving the kit for later..
Bob: be strong!

*Showing his manly saiyan strength, he tosses Brian and Steve over the top rope with ease!*

Ric: O_O! ATTACK HIM!
Ed: ;_; crap!

*Ed kicks his bucket across the ring and doesn't wait for the results, as he's already halfway through the crowd and out of the exit! However, NNNN catches the bucket, and uses it to CLOCK Austin over the head! Ric goes down like a ton of bricks! NNNN covers!*

Ref: 1.............2.............3!

!!DING DING DING!!

Ralph: HE'S GOT ONE ALREADY!?
Bob: DON'T JINX IT! 36 WINS TO GO!
Ralph: You're right.. You're right.. X_x GO NNNN!

*One fall is out of the way, Ric slowly stands up, holding his aching head (remember, it's still fucked up from Kunoi being his ass last week!) Giving Kunoi the chance to roll him up in a school boy pin!*

Ref: 1.........2........3!!

!!DING DING DING!!

*Ric pops back up in shock! It's less than a minute into the match and he's already down two falls!*

Ric: DAMNIT REFEREE YOU'RE COUNTING TOO FA–

!!THOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*Taking his eye off the game, Ric is tackled right through the third and second ropes! NNNN and he crash to the floor in a heap! Landing forehead first, Ric doesn't even know how OLD he is, much less WHERE he is! NNNN covers again!*

Ref: Hey NNNN, you have to bring him in he—ahhh screw it! 1...2...3!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: THAT'S THREE FALLS FOR NNNN IN LESS THAN A MINUTE!
Ralph: ...I won't be needing the kit after all! This'll be done in five minutes!

*Dragging Ric Austin over to the guardrail, NNNN calls for fan participation!*

NNNN: HEY KID!
Kid: o_o
NNNN: HIT HIM! =|
Kid: ...*SHRUGS*

*The kid draws back, before nailing Ric with a devestating right! Ric sells this 4 year old's punch like it was the hand of God itself! He flips backwards and onto the concrete floor! NNNN covers with ONE HAND*

Ref: 1...........2..........3!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob and Ralph: LMFAOLSDMFALDSFKAS;LDFKAJSDLMFAO!!

*NNNN isn't done embarrassing Ric Austin! Now he's dragging the poor bastard down the aisle, and towards Bob and Ralph's commentator's tower!*

Ralph: he...hey now! Keep away from here! >=|!!
Bob; THEY'RE COMING UP!
Ralph: OH JEEZ! >=|!!!

*Too bad guys! They've climbed up to the commentator's area with NNNN still in COMPLETE control of this match! Ric Austin's face is slammed into the table!*

NNNN: You guys want some of this? >=|
Bob: uhhh..
NNNN: What about you Ralph?
Ralph: ...really?
NNNN: YEAH! HIT HIM!
Ralph: *^_^*!!! COOL!!!

*Ralph gets up and knocks the SHIT out of Ric Austin! The masked asshole is laid out on the table unconscious!!!*

Ric: X________________X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NNNN: *COVERS*

Ref: 1.........2..........3!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Ric: x_x.. You son of a b–

*BOB drops an elbow across Ric's chest out of no where, knocking him out a second time!*

Bob: o.o
NNNN: *COVERS*

Ref: 1...........2..............3!!!!!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

*NNNN gives both Bob and Ralph High fives before tossing Ric Austin OFF OF THE COMMENTATOR'S TOWER!!!*

!!!SMACK!!!

Bob: OH MY GOD!!! DID YOU SEE THE WAY RIC HIT THE GROUND?!?!!?
Ralph: I think I broke my fist X_X

*NNNN comes off the tower with a MOONSAULT! It connects!*

Ref: 1............2.............3!!!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: NNNN HITS THAT DISGUSTING MOONSAULT!
Ralph: SIX FALLS! ^_^!!! 31 MORE TO GO! Come on Bob! Let's go help!
Bob: NO! ........................

*A few seconds later..*

!!!CRASH!!!

*BOB AND RALPH HIT A DOUBLE MOONSAULT FROM THE COMMENTATOR'S TOWER ON RIC AUSTIN!*

Ric: X_X_X_XX_X_X_X_X
NNNN: *COVERS*

Ref: 1.......2......3!!!!!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

*uhh... I guess I'm doing commentary now.. THAT'S SEVEN FALLS DOWN, THIRTY MORE TO GO! As the commentators make their way to the back, NNNN drags his hald dead opponent into the backstage area...*

Ralph: see, I TOLD YOU! If NNNN can moonsault, ANYONE can.
Bob: oww my shoulder x_X

*Now in the back, as NNNN is dragging Ric Austin by the mask, he runs into Jeice's personal errand boy, Xiu!*

Xiu: O_o
NNNN: HEY! You want a piece of this too?
Xiu: ehh, sorry, I have stuff to... ahh what the hell!!

!!POP!!

*KICK TO THE FACE via Xiu! Ric Austin FLIES backwards into the drink machine, and then to the ground, unconscious! And he should be lucky that he IS unconscious.. Because...*

Drink Machine: X_x...

*The damn thing COLLAPSES on top of him! Drinks spill all over the damn place as NNNN stands on top of the fallen machine!*

Ref: 1...........2..........3!!!!!!!!!!

!!!DING DING DING!!!

Jesse Hall: ...you gotta be kidding me!

*Jesse pockets ATLEAST ten free drinks that just land at his feet and disappear into the night! Back in the arena...*

Bob: Well folks, NNNN is up 8 wins to nothing, and there's no sign of him losing steam!
Ralph: So why are the cameras back here?
Bob: Because Jeice says he can SENSE the ratings tanking from this match, and wants to go on to the sword match! Folks, we'll get back to the best of 37 later on in the card and will update you with any sudden changes!

Arzie: The following contest is Swordmaster Rules. And it will be for the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting League's SWORDMASTER CHAMPIONSHIP!

*"The Dragon Quest Overture" kicks up, bringing down the "Fat Merchant" himself, Torneco! Tonight he gets his chance to claim the UCTF Swordmaster Title after gaining an upset victory over the champion last week!*

Arzie: Introducing first... The Challenger... he is the FAAAAAAT MERCHANTTTTT... TORRRNECCCCOOOO!!!

Fans: *STILL e_e.*

Ralph: I'm still having a hard time believing this jerk beat Taki last week!
Bob: Believe it Ralph! Torneco earned his title shot last week no matter how unbelievably lucky it was!
Ralph: psh. e_e. Well, he's going to be taught a lesson tonight!

*And who will be teaching that lesson??? "Eye to Eye, Blade to Blade" keys up, bringing down the UCTF Swordmaster Champion! Tonight marks her first title defense since defeating Chipp Zanuff a few weeks ago... But it will be against the fat roly poly bastard who got a fluke win over her last week!*

Arzie: and next... THE ULTIMATE CROSSOVER TOURNAMENT FIGHTING LEAGUE'S SWORDMASTER CHAMPION... SHE IS THE DEMON HUNTRESSS... TAAAAAAAKKKIIIIIII!!!!

*Taki makes an impressive, flipping entrance into the ring. Her eyes are completely narrowed to let Torneco know that tonight, he will NOT catch her off guard like he did last week! She means business!*

Ralph: H_H....
Bob: ...Rallllph... e_e

!!DING DING DING!!

UCTF Swordmaster Championship
Taki vs. Torneco

Torneco: HEY! I see you've shined up your bla–

!!WHAM!!

*No time for talking tonight! Torneco is LAUNCHED across the ring via Ninja Cannon! On his way down from the attack, Taki slams her fist into the canvas a second time, sending a SECOND Ninja Cannon coarsing through the fat bastards lard of a body!*

Torneco: X_X!

!!THUD!!

Bob: The challenger's down!
Ralph: LMFAO! Did you see how he bounced?!

*Torneco has to think up something quick! From his backpack he pulls out a small book called "Peter Griffin's famous jokes!" If this doesn't get Taki to laugh, NOTHING will.*

Torneco: uhh.. Hey! WHY DO WOMEN HAVE BOOBS?!
Taki: !??!?!?
Torneco: SO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK AT WHEN THEY TALK TO YOU!!!
Taki: ............................
Torneco: SO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO LOO–OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!

!!BLAM!!

*Taki, showing superhuman strength (and trust me, to pick up someone THIS HEAVY is super human!) by lifting the 300lber over her head and SLAMMING him back to the canvas! Only a mere SECOND after landing on the canvas, Taki drops a big knee across his chest!*

Torneco: X_X_X

Ralph: HAHAHAHAHA! Fat ass!
Bob: Taki means business tonight!

*Torneco, in the midst of a horrific beating at the hands of a girl, goes digging in his back pack again! This time he pulls out the sword that helped him reach victory last week. With a giant swing of the sword... HE MISSES! That's right, he misses, and not only that, gets the sword STUCK in the canvas!*

Fans: LOLLOLLOLLOL!!!

Taki: You've got to be KIDDING me! >=\
Torneco: >=D!

*Suddenly, a gigantic boulder comes out of NO WHERE. No, seriously, it materializes out of NO WHERE and smacks Taki in the face! Another sneaky magic trick from the wiley merchant! It works, as the ninjagirl is LAID OUT in the center of the ring! Torneco now has enough time to regain his bearings and get his fat ass up! The second he pulls the sword from the vancas, the boulder vanishes...*

Ralph: What the hell just happened?!
Bob: Torneco's got some tricks up his sleeve Ralph, that's how he managed a win last week!

*Torneco bides his time, allowing the champion to stand back to her feet! When the champs back up, Torneco lets out a war cry before charging across the ring! That's when the moron TRIPS and lands right on his face!*

Bob: and DOWN he goes!
Ralph: OOOH NO! I'm not falling for this again!

*And neither is Taki! His trusty sword fires from his backpack, but Taki EASILY leaps over the "Trip and Shoot" technique, coming right on top of the challenger with her "Shadow Ripper!" Two horizontal slashes followed by a downward slash! Before Torneco can even react, Taki has circled around his slow unathletic ass with a horisontal slash, followed by a BIG kick to the ass!*

Torneco: X_X!

*Torneco bounces off the ropes like a bowl of jello, and into a low, wide, sweeping slash that takes him airborn! Taki takes a single step back, and comes forward again with an arc strike on his way down. This move juggles Torneco into the air a second time.. And as he comes down, he's hit with a THIRD strong upward slash! STILL being juggled in the air, The challenger is then stabbed directly in the gut! Taki pulls back, finally allowing her opponent to hit the ground*

Bob: Taki with a great combo!
Ralph: Man, he's starting to look like "You know Who" in the ring...
Bob: You know Who? O_o
Ralph: Tatewaki Kuno!
Bob: X_X LOL!

*Torneco has no time to recover from the last string of attacks, as Taki "Seals" him with a powerful shot to the back with the flat of her blade! This, again, knocks Torneco into the ropes! As his lifeless body only does what gravity demands of it, Taki focuses energy into a powerful, thunder filled punch to the bottom of the chin!*

!!POP!!

Bob: WHAT A HIT!

*Torneco's knees buckle from the punch!*

!!POP POP POP!!

*And he never sees three lightning fast kicks from the champion that almost take his head off! Before his body hits the ground from the four shots, Taki delivers THREE MORE, with the final kick sweeping his feet right from under him. As his body lingers over the mat for a few seconds before impact, Taki delivers the NINJA CANNON, blasting him into the air! Once he comes down, Taki is already standing on her hands, ready to deliver the "Hurricane Punishment" spinning handstand kick!*

Ralph: and Torneco goes down face first!
Bob: this match is nothing short of a MASSACRE !

*It IS a bloody massacre! Torneco finds himself huddled in the corner with a face covered in blood! Digging through is backpack, the fat man realizes there's only one spell that can get him out of this pinch!*

Torneco: where is it? WHERE IS IT?!!? ;_;

Taki: e_e...

Bob: Taki slowly stalking her opponent!
Ralph: Well she's got this match in the palm of her hand! I'm surprised Torneco isn't knocked out or DEAD by now! His heart can't withstand this kind of action!

Torneco: x_x.. THERE IT IS!!

*He unravels the scroll, and begins reading the incantation!*

Taki: NINJA—

*Suddenly, the challenger is surrounded by a column of light!*

Bob: Something's going on inside the ring with Torneco!
Ralph: another trick e_e
Bob: ...a BIG TRICK!
Ralph: HOLY SHIT!

*What once was a pudgy little asshole is now a huge FIREBREATHING DRAGON!*

Taki: O_O!! ...cannon?

!!!FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*The now redhot ninja is engulfed with flames and it's ALL SHE WROTE! Once the smoke clears, the champion is shown on the jumbotron COMPLETELY unconscious with most of her gi burnt to shreds!*

Ralph: YES!!!! HE'S MY FAVORITE FIGHTER NOW!
Bob: >=| TAKI'S DOWN!

Ref: ring it!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And the ref says she can't recover! That's it folks!
Ralph: ...A-
Bob: -MAZING, NEW SWORDMASTER CHAMPION!
Ralph: SHIT!

Winner and NEW UCTF Swordmaster Champion: Torneco

*Firefighters make it to the scene to put out the flames, as The NEW UCTF SWORDMASTER CHAMPION is awarded his prize!*

Torneco: ^___________^!!

Ralph: I can't believe her turned around the entire match with ONE move. There's gotta be something illegal about that bag e_e

*We're on the top floor of the UCTF Grand Hotel in the restaurant area! In this establishment which is usually used to serve the Anime City dwellers with the deepest pockets, tonight it hosts the 20 th fall between Quadruple N and Rock Hard Ric Austin!*

!!BLAM!!

Ric: X_X!!!!!!!

*NNNN nails his rival in the FACE with a serving dish, knocking the old man over a table and into a young woman's lap!*

Girl: *SCREAMS!!*
Ric: X_X!

*The attack from NNNN continues, as the saiyan charges in for a big clothesline! But Austin thinks quick, grabbing the female from the table and throwing her into the way!*

!!SMACK!!

*The former IP champion sends the girl upside down from the clothesline! He almost pisses his pants after realizing what he's just done, and it gives Ric Austin the chance to FINALLY make a come back!!! A half a second later, NNNN's skull is battered with a full bottle of merlot! He goes down for the count!*

Ric: O_O__O_O_O_O!!!

*Ric covers*

Ref: 1............2...........2.999999999999

*NNNN kicks out!*

Ric: OH WHAT THE HELL?!!?!?

*Visually upset (I dunno how, he's wearing a mask!) Ric picks up a chair, waiting desperately for NNNN to stand back to his feet. When he does, NNNN DUCKS the chairshot, followed by a ballshot on Austin*

Ric: X__________X!!

*His eyes roll to the back of his head! NNNN picks The Enhancer into a powerbomb position and..*

!!!FLOOOOOOOOOM!!

*POWERBOMB THROUGH FLAMBE THROUGH A TABLE! The referee sells the attack more than Ric austin, who's just like.. Dead. NNNN covers.*

Ref: 1..........2...........3!

!!DING DING DING!!

Ric = 0
NNNN = 20

Bob: NNNN gets his 20 th fall of the night!
Ralph: against Ric's ZERO! Where's the toss salad man when you need him? I mean come on.. Why keep going ric? You'll NEVER come back!
Bob: Stranger things have happened in the UCTF Ralph!

*the cameras fade out, then fade back in on a room FILLED with people sitting at tables! Some of the tables have signs that say things like "A-holes" and "people with agendas." The cameras pan to the podium, where none other than ICE T is standing!*

Ice-T: Ladies and Gentlemen, sons AND bitches, and despicable villains alike, I'd like to welcome you all to the 2005 PLAYA HATAZ BALL! OH! HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

Crowd: *chanting* HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE!

*in the back*

Pit Bull: Man, YOU STILL CORNY!

Ice T: e_e

*suddenly, Ice-T pulls a GUN out from his suit, and just BLASTS Pit Bull from across the damn room!*

Pit Bull: X_____X

Ice-T: I said the next motherfucker who talks when I'm talkin' was gettin' shot. e_e *puts the gun away* NOW... all you ignorant sons a bitches... we have a SPECIAL attraction at the playa hataz ball this year... in collaboration with the UCTF, the playa hataz ball is proud to present Bryan Amelthyst versus Duke Fleed for the UCTF MECHA championship!

*as he says that, the back walls behind him open up, revealing the area outside the playaz ball, where both mechas are standing, facing each other!*

Silky Johnson: Good god, what the hell is that? *points with his cane at Duke's mecha*

Buc Nasty: Shit looks like a campbell's soup can!

Silky: That's not much better than that pigeon-looking hunk of metal he's facing.

Ice-T: Shutup, ALL of you's, before I break my foot off in your ass, then melt down your gold teeth to make me a new one. e_e Now, introducing first... he's comin' to us wieghin' in at 180 pounds, and his mecha in at 7.89 tons... ladies and gentlemen... BRYAN AMETHYST!

Crowd: BOOOOO!!

*"White Reflection Nova" is keyed up, as the camera zooms in on Anubus, and Bryan can be seen standing in the cockpit, his fist raised!*

Ice-T: Bryan is in this match because he was busy trying to get a chick... while he STILL had a catgirl back at HOME! OH! HATE HATE HATE HATE!

Crowd: HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!

*the music dies down, and the camera shifts over to Duke Fleed's mecha*

Ice-T: And his opponent, he's an intergalactic playa, whose mecha weighs 280 tons, and he is a prince of the fleed empire, laides and gentlemen, DUKE FLEED!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*"Tobe Grendizer" starts up as the camera zooms on Duke Fleed in the cockpit of his mecha, smiling with his fists in the air!*

Ice-T: Duke is in this match because he was hating on Bryan over the SAME GIRL, and tried to cockblock... by criticizing Bryan's cooking!

Duke: YEAAHHH!!!

Crowd: HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!!

Ice-T: Mind, they have been hating over this particular woman here, who unfortunitely due to previous commitments could not be here tonight, ladies and Gentlemen, former UCTF swordmaster champion, Yakuu!

*some ways back behind Bryan and Duke, a GIGANTIC banner rolls out, revealing a picture of yakuu!*

Silky: What in the Sam hell is THAT?

Buc Nasty: Man, that bitch got ham hocks for legs!

Beautiful: Whoever's got her has gotta be a lumberjack, 'cause those legs are as wide as tree trunks! HA HA! Hit me baby. e_e *PSSSSSSH*

Ice-T: Yo, you all can shut the fuck up, 'cause this match is gettin' under way now.

*Ice-T take a megaphone, then holds a mic in front of it, and what he says starts BOOMING out onto the battlefield!*

Ice-T: ALRIGHT I DON'T WANT NO DIRTY SHIT FROM YOU GUYS! GIVE US A GOOD SHOW, BUT KEEP IT QUICK, 'CAUSE WE GOT OUR ANNUAL PHOTO FLIP IN TEN MINUTES!

*DING, DING, DING!*

*The cockpits close, and Bryan is the first to move, using his jet boosters to charge forward at RObo Grendizer!*

!!!!CRASSHHH!!!!!

*Anubus SLAMS into Duke's mech.... and practically BOUNCES off of it!*

Bryan: O_O!

Duke: >=D!

*That's what happens when a 7 ton mech crashes into a 230 TON MECH. THAT'S A 223 TON DIFFERENCE, FOR YOU MATH-IMPARED PEOPLE*

Bryan: Oh shi-

*Grendizer's fists come up, and Duke FIRES them forward, slamming into Anubus, sending it crashing backwards several hundred feet!*

Silky: I've seen rag dolls thrown with more care than that!

*Duke's mech starts moving forward as Bryan's gets up to it's feet, pulling out it's lance! Bryan makes a slash outward with it, but the slash is stopped by Grendizer, who's taken out it's Double Harken! Anubus attempts to counter it by kicking in the jet boosters again, but Grendizer's holding it's ground, and suddenly breaks loose!*

Bryan: O___O! OHSHI-

*Anubus's force comes out all at once, sending it careening into the giant banner of yakku, tearing it down!*

Buc Nasty: This is like watching a retarded version of BATTLEBOTS!

*Anubus is down, and Grendizer is stomping over to him! Bryan kicks in the boosters, and starts flying upwards...*

!!!!!SLAAAAMMMMM!!!!!!!

*But Grendizer is able to knock him RIGHT back down to the ground with it's Double Harken!*

Duke: >=D!!!

Bryan: ....lolfuck

*Duke comes down with the harken, and it stabs STRAIGHT through the chest of Anubus! The mecha twitches for a bit, then powers down! Back inside, Ice-T gets on the megaphone on the mic again!*

Ice-T: AND YOUR WINNER OF THE MATCH AND THE NEW UCTF MECHA CHAMP, DUKE FLEED AND UFO ROBO GRENDIZER!

Crowd: BOOOOO!!!

*A helicopter comes flying in with the UCTF mecha belt, and Grendizer picks it up, holding it high!*

Silky: That belt looks like an oversized pie plate!

Ice-T: Alright, now all you bitches meet on the floor in five minutes, for the annual photo flip, while we get the cards ready.

*LATER ON! BACK AT THE PLAYER HATAZ BALL! All of the Haters are gathered around an easel, which has a HUGE pic of BRYAN on it!*

Buc Nasty: Look at his shoes! They ain't got toes in em!

Silky: He couldn't afford to buy toes for his shoes because he spent all the money on that oversize robe he's wearing. Next picture, please.

*the attendant switches to the next pic, which is ANOTHER pic of Bryan, but this time getting punched the fuck out by Duke on the last Massacre!*

Beautiful: Man, no wonder he had a mecha match! That sonofabitch can't fight!

Buc Nasty: Anyone who gets their ass kicked by a Prince in a fistfight, AND in a robot fight is all kinds of pathetic.

Silky: Almost as pathetic as the shoes on Beautiful's feet.

Beautiful: ;_;... you make fun of those every YEAR man!

Silky: And you still wear them. >=|

Bob: Well... it looks like not only did Bryan lose, but he earned himself a massive amount of ridicule at the Player Haters Ball!
Ralph: LOL! At least he still has switch, I guess.

*In the parking lot area of the Mecha Arena... NNNN has not only lost his opponent, but the referee as well...*

NNNN: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? >=| YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER!

Bob: Oh great, we're back to THIS match!
Ralph: It's better than that damn mecha match we just had to sit through!

!!!!!SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCHHHH!!!

NNNN: !!!!

*The saiyan DIVES onto a fans car only seconds before being run down by a speeding vehicle! Inside the driver's seat is Brian Babaganoush, half of the jobber UCTF tag team!*

Bob: NNNN ALMOST RUN DOWN THERE! ..Hey! It's Brian!
Ralph: Who the hell is that??
Bob: th... nevermind!

NNNN: YOU! >=|!!! GET BACK HERE!!

*He gives chase, but is no match for a car! Brian gets away.. And even though he didn't nail NNNN, he distracted him enough for the—*

!!BLAM!!

*Garbage can shot to the back of the head! NNNN goes down, Ric covers and the ref is right behind him!*

Bob: CHEAPSHOT BY AUSTIN!
Ralph: Could he make his first pin here?

Ref: 1... 2... 2.9999999999999999!!!

Bob: NO!

Ric: OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! >=|!!

*Ric picks up the saiyan for the powerbomb, but on the way up, NNNN throws the dreaded "WHITE POWDER" into his eyes! Austin is blinded! NNNN picks him upside down, and hits the VEGETA DEATH DRIVER onto a car!!*

Fan: DAMNIT NO!!

*He covers!*

Ref: 1.... 2... 3!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Ric = 0
NNNN = 32

Bob: only five more wins ladies and gentlemen!
Ralph: he better be glad Vegeta's dead...

Arzie: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and it will be for the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting League's MILITARY CHAMPIONSHIP!

*And without further notice, the sound system greets the fans with "Demon Speeding" bringing down the challenger for the Military Championship Title!*

Arzie: Introducing first, from Venice Beach, California, standing at six feet, five inches, and weighing in at two-hundred fifty four pounds... He is COUNTDOWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNN

Bob: And here he comes, the man who's been waiting to get his hands on Suicide for almost six months now!
Ralph: Suicide went around for a YEAR in the UCTF attacking any and everyone, and did it all with Countdown's mask on! Tonight Mr. Hunter is expecting some payback!

*No special thrills, no special entrances for the big man from Venice Beach tonight, he's got one mission on his mind, to take down Suicide once and for all! He steps into the ring and soaks up the fan support as his music dies down....*

Countdown: e_e...

*Metallica's "Don't Tread on Me" kicks up next! Giving the music a full thirty seconds of play time, The Military Champion makes a slow dramatic walk through the curtains expressionless. The Title hangs from the champions shoulders as he takes a few steps down the aisle, just as his manager and mentor, Heero Yuy makes his way through the curtain as well.*

Arzie: And The Champion.. From Louisville, Kentucky.. Standing at five feet, nine inches, and weighing in at one hundred, fifty pounds.. HE IS THE ULTIMATE CROSSOVER TOURNAMENT FIGHTING LEAGUE'S MILITARY CHAMPION... SUICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCIDDDDDDDEEEEE!!!

Bob: It is the slow saunter... of the man who calls himself the GREATEST Anime Champion of all time! And who on this PLANET can dispute it? He's won the championship on four separate occasions. Against Hyperkat. Against Chastity Marks. Against William Clarke. Against Aisha Clan-Clan!
Ralph: He's held the title more times than a lot of people in the UCTF have held careers e_e! But tonight he's going to face a rabid animal in Countdown.. Not only did he drag the poor guys name through the mud, but he cost him a match last week against QUADRUPLE N!
Bob: Hey, NNNN is now the Number One Ranked UCTF Superstar!
Ralph: x_x don't fucking remind me!

*Suicide FINALLY makes it to the ring and climbs in, immediately going to the nearest corner, climbing to the second rope, and holding the Military Championship high into the air...*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Bob: Suicide once earned respect from these fans, but now he DEMANDS IT.
Ralph: Hey, since when has Suicide ever needed fan support? You forget that three of his title reigns were WITHOUT the fans backing him!

*The champion gives the title to the referee for what could be the last time! The referee shows the title to Countdown who doesn't even LOOK at it! His eyes are fixated on the task at hand. Before handing the title away to the time keeper, the referee holds it into the air to remind everyone of what's on the line!*

!!DING DING DING!!

UCTF Military Championship
Suicide vs. Countdown

*As the match officially begins, the champion demands the referee check Countdown for any weapons he might have smuggled inside the ring! The referee sighs and does as he's told...*

Bob: Suicide having the ref check Countdown for weapons..
Ralph: He was at one point the most dirty player in the UCTF!
Bob: But he's cha–

*Before Bob can even spit out that mouth full of BS, the referee finds the ingredients for Countdown's FLAME THROWER attack! The masked wrestler hasn't changed after all!*

Ref: e_e!!!

*As the referee disposes of the foreign objects, Suicide unearths a STEEL CHAIN from his jacket pocket, and knocks the unsuspecting Countdown to the canvas with it! Before the ref turns around, the chain has been tossed out of the ring and right into Heero Yuy's pocket!*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Ralph: LOL!! THAT WAS GREAT!
Bob: OH GIVE ME A BREAK!! >=|!!!

*The ref turns around to see Suicide standing over Countdown with an innocent look on his face and his hands in the air to prove he doesn't have any weapons! And because the referee was too deaf to hear the sound of metal clashing against human flesh, he has no proof to admonish the champion!*

Suicide: =D!

*The Military Champion then puts the boots to his opponent with no restraint, after already delivering a concussion level blow to the skull! Countdown is lifted back to his feet and within a split second, sent flying back first into the turnbuckle.. Suicide is right there on his ass, delivering a fierce clothesline into the corner! The momentum causes Countdown to be knocked out of the corner, and hit the ground face first ala Ric Flair. As gravity causes him to slowly roll over to his back, Suicide climbs to the top rope, throwing himself back for a huge, connecting VADER BOMB on the former Anime Champion!*

Ralph: Vader-Bomb!
Bob: And Suicide pops back up without even ATTEMPTING a pin! Talk about Cocky!

*Suicide is picking Hunter back up..*

Suicide: GET UP YOU SON OF A –

!!BLAOW!!

*He delivers a knee to Countdown's face, followed by a big kick to the midsection! This stands up the former champ, then doubles him over! Suicide comes off the ropes with an intense velocity before nailing an axe kick to the back of the head! The champ pops back up, and goes to the ropes, trash talking the fans!*

Bob: He's not capitalizing AGAIN!
Ralph: I think some fan in the audience said something about his mom!

Suicide: YEAH, SCREW YOU TOO E_E
Fans: BOOOOOOOO!!!

*Suddenly, Suicide bounces off the ropes, and hits a SECOND axe kick to the champion's neck out of sheer vanity!*

Bob: *SPITS OUT HIS DRINK* x_x
Ralph: LOL! THAT'S VINTAGE SUICIDE!
Bob: I can't believe this! Suicide's only in control right now because he brought in that foreign object! This is ridiculous!!
Ralph: Would you still be ranting and raving if Countdown got to use his flame thrower? Hell no! >=| SHUTUP!
Bob: ...e_e...

*The champ disregards making the cover again, and instead, trash talks the fans who paid their hard earned cash to tell Suicide HE SUCKS!*

Bob: Look at the arrogance of this champion to turn his back on Countdown!
Ralph: Chill out Bob, he's got this match under control!

*Picking Countdown from the canvas, Suicide lifts the masked superstar upside down, signalling for the piledriver! But before he drops him down he turns all four corners...*

Suicide: YOU WANNA SEE?! YOU WANNA SEE?! YOU WANNA SEE?! YOU WA—WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

*The taunting piledriver is interrupted when Countdown swings his six foot, five inch frame backwards, sending the Champion over his head with a huge backdrop!*

Bob: COUNTDOWN REVERSES!

*Surprised, but unwaivered, Suicide is back to his feet damn near immediately! He pounces Countdown, only to be sent flying across the ring with an armdrag. He's back up, but is immediately clotheslined back to the canvas! The match begins to slip from his grasp! Suicide jumps back up to his feet, half dazed and full of desperation. He lashes out with a wild Kamikaze kick! Countdown however, CATCHES the foot, spins Suicide around, and delivers a NICE german suplex! Suicide bounces from the momentum and lands on his FACE!*

Ralph: O_O GOOD GOD!
Bob: Countdown gaining momentum here!

*Suicide's back up to his feet again, but this time, he's gone! Lights out! Staggering around like an extra out of a George Romero Movie, he's EASILY lifted into the air by Countdown, who delivers a NASTY Fallaway slam that sends the champion skidding across the campus and to the floor below!*

Crowd: *POP!*

Ralph: SHEESH that was ugly!
Bob: That floor was made for mecha's Ralph! The champion is in trouble!
Ralph: oh yeah, this is the UCTF.. Titles can change on count outs x_x!

*But Countdown won't allow such a win to take place e_e he's going to BEAT A SUBMISSION out of the Champion! He tries the leave the ring, with the referee attempting to keep him inside the squared circle. It's the moment Suicide needs to regain his weapon, the steel chain from Heero Yuy!*

Bob: HE'S GOT A WEAPON!

Suicide: >=|!!!!!

*He's back in the ring with the chain wrapped around his hand! He swings! COUNTDOWN DUCKS AND LOCKS ON THE MILLION DOLLAR DREAM! Yeah, I said it.. Ted Mofo Dibiase's MILLION DOLLAR DREAM submission! The chain that was meant to take out the challenger is now on the canvas, FAR from doing any damage!*

Countdown: >=|!
Suicide: X_X!!

Ralph: O_O LMFAO AM I SEEING THIS?!
Bob: YES YOU ARE! NO ONE GETS OUT OF THIS HOLD! The Title's about to change!!

*The referee grabs the weapon Suicide just attempted to use, and throws it out of the canvas.. That SPLIT SECOND his back is turned, Suicide DESTROYS Countdown's lower extremities with a kick! It ain't scientific, but it works! Suicide wakes up from a bad dream and hangs onto the top rope for dear life!*

Suicide: x_x... ... >=|!!!!

*With both hands covering his now swollen testicles, Countdown has nothing to defend his face from the SICKEST Kamikaze kick the Military Champion has EVER delivered!*

!!POP!!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!!!

*Countdown is COMPLETELY knocked out from the kick, but unfortunately, so is the Champion who lies face first on the canvas!*

Bob: GOOOOD GOD!!!!!!
Ralph: O_O!! D..D..DID YOU SEE THAT KICK!?!?
Bob: Both fighters are down! The referee's making the count!

*Now it's about who wants it more as both weakened fighters fight to stand under the ref's ten count.. If the official makes it to ten before neither man can get up, then BOTH will be sent home losers in a draw! Neither man's ego will allow for such a thing to happen!*

Ref: 7..... 8...

*Amazingly, it's COUNTDOWN who's back to his feet first! He catches the stumbling Suicide and lifts him for another fall away slam.. But instead, he walks to the corner, climbing to the second rope!*

Ralph: Uh oh.. I think we're about to see a super fall away slam!

*Much worse my dear commentator! Both Suicide AND Countdown come off the top rope in a Fallaway slam/Moonsault combination maneuver!*

!!THOOOM!!

*The champion hits the canvas, and is CRUSHED by his opponents AWESOME moonsault in one sweeping motion! Countdown hooks the leg–*

Ref: 1.........2......2.999999!!!

*But it's not enough to keep The Military Champion down!*

Bob: I can't believe that was the FIRST pin fall attempt this entire match!
Ralph: and it should have been e-freaking-nough! Did you SEE that move?!

*The fallasault may not have been enough, but now the former champion feels his victory drawing near.. He's back to his feet, with a hand full of as much hair of Suicide's buzzcut that he can grasp, Countdown signals for the finish! Bending the champion forward, Countdown stands with his back to Suicide before locking his arms, and twisting him over! With a impressive show of strength, he flips the champion, bringing him down onto his neck! Call it what you want: The Mexican Stretch Buster, The Kudoh Driver, The Cop Killer, or the Vertebreaker.. WHATEVER! The champion's in a bad way!*

Ralph: I think Suicide just knee-d himself in the face X_X
Bob: And Countdown's going up top! He's going to drive the final nail into the coffin of Suicide right now!

*Charlie comes off the top rope and nails a picture perfect Moonsault on the Champion!*

Ref: 1............... 2.......... 2.999999999999!!!

*BUT HE KICKS OUT!*

Ralph: *SPIT TAKE*
Bob: SOMEHOW.. SOMEHOW the champion survives! Now you have to believe Countdown is starting to become frustrated!

*Countdown attempts to keep a cool head about things.. And that's hard when you consider how stuffy it probably gets under that mask! Back to his feet, he drags the Champion along with him...*

Countdown: ...e_e!!

*Suicide is lifted for the vertical suplex!*

Bob: SHOWS OVER!!

*Not so fast Bob! Showing great ring presence, he knows EXACTLY what Countdown's going for! He shifts all of his weight into his feet, forcing Countdown to bring the champ back down to earth.. And on the way down, Suicide somehow turns it into a MONKEY FLIP, sending Countdown flying! Countdown stands back up, finding himself now being wrapped up by the champion!*

Suicide: ARRRRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHH!!!

*Suicide throws him backwards with an AMAZING exploder suplex, shades of Heero Yuy! This puts the challenger in the perfect position for Suicide, who wastes no time climbing to the top rope! The fans stand to their feet, preparing to snap their pictures!*

Bob: Suicide up top!

*The champ comes corkscrewing off for the Suicide elbow, only to hit NOTHING! Countdown rolls out of the way just in time! He's back up, waiting for Suicide to do the same.. And when he does, Countdown lifts the champion up for the vertical suplex! He gets him up, and lets the champion HANG upside to think about what's next to come!*

Countdown: ..e_e!!!!

*Countdown brings the champion back down into a FACE FIRST STUNNER!*

!!THOOOOOOOOOM!!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!

Bob: STUNNER! STUNNER! STUNNER!!

*Suicide Scott Hall's the move and literally flies ACROSS THE RING! Countdown crawls over and covers the champion for the win and championship!*

Ref: 1............2..............HIS FOOT'S ON THE ROPES!

Countdown: WHAT!?!?!? >=|!!!

*At the LAST possible second, The Champion threw his foot on the ropes, saving himself from the loss! Countdown is now PISSED!*

Bob: THAT WAS A MIRACLE!
Ralph: he pu–
Bob: SHUTUP! That was a damned MIRACLE that Suicide escaped losing just then!
Ralph: X_X

*While Countdown argues with the referee, HEERO YUY tosses in the masked wrestler's very on flamethrower he brought into tonight's match! Suicide grabs a hold of it for dear life, all while crawling towards the corner to pick himself up...*

Suicide: ...>=D

Bob: WEAPON! WEAPON! WEAPON!
Ralph: O_O

*Countdown pushes the ref out of the way and intercepts Suicide with a Hardcore Holly style drop kick! The flamethrower slides across the ring, and right into the hands of it's rightful owner!*

Bob: NOT GOOD FOR SUICIDE!

Countdown: ...e_e...
Suicide: O_O!!!!!!
Ref: e_e!! NO! NONONO! DON'T DO IT!
Countdown: >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Suicide: ;_;!!!!!!!
Ref: DON'T DO–WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

*Countdown throws the flame across the ring, JUST as Suicide pulls the referee into the LITERAL "line of fire!"*

!!!FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

Ref: X_XX_X_X_X_X_X_X!! *THUD!*

Bob: OH GOD NO!
Ralph: REFEREE'S DOWN REFEREE'S DOWN REFEREE'S DOWN!

*The champ may have been lucky enough to escape the dreaded flamethrower (sheesh, I'm starting to sound like Stan Lee), but he can't avoid The Countdown's boot finding it's way deep deep deep into his sternum! The champion doubles over, and is set up for the kill! Charlie throws Suicide up for the Ignition, but the champion slips out, landing behind the challenger! With a swift kick to the balls, Mr. Hunter's momentum vanishes!*

Bob: LOW BLOW! LOW BLOW!

*Yeah so what Bob! It works! Now in complete control, Suicide spins his injured opponent around and tosses him onto his shoulders!*

Suicide: ... >=|!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

!!THOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*COURT MARTIAL IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! Suicide covers, too tired to realize there's not a damn referee in sight! Hmmm... Did I say not a damn referee in sight?! >=|*

!!BLAM!!

*On the outside of the ring, Mayor Heero Yuy goes down to a hard shot to the back of the head from none other than the Ctarl Ctarl Princess herself, Aisha Clan-Clan e_e! It's time to extract some revenge from a certain Military asshole!*

Ralph: oh shit...
Bob: Suicide's in trouble and he doesn't even realize it! Aisha's going up top!

*The former Anime Champion is now on the top turnbuckle! She comes off, dropping a HUGE leg over the back of Suicide's dome without the champ ever seeing it coming! Rolling off of Countdown in pain, he's a sitting duck for what Aisha has coming for him next...*

Bob: Aisha picking up the champion... This doesn't look good!

*CTARL-CTARL POUNCE DRIVER ON SUICIDE! The champ lays crumpled right next to Countdown, as the devious catgirl high tails it like a theif in the night! The fans gather behind Countdown, willing him to turn around and put his arm over the champion! Their energy starts to flow into him, giving him the strength he needs to turn around and cover! Down the aisle comes another referee, who slides right into position!*

Ref: >=|!!! 1...........2..........

*BUT HE'S PULLED OUT OF THE RING BY HEERO YUY! Once again, the Mayor makes a HUGE save for Suicide! The fans DIE a little on the inside!*

Fans: ...;_;

Ralph: WHEW!!!
Bob: Heero makes the save! Unbelievable!

*Countdown, now back to his feet, waits for that picture perfect moment to finish of the Champion! As Suicide begins the slow agonizing ascent back to his feet, Charlie lunges forward, only to be taken down with a text book drop toe hold by the champion, who then floats over Countdown's upper body, and locks on the Rings of Saturn/Dragon Sleeper combination known as the AWOL SUBMISSION!!*

Bob: AWOL! AWOL! AWOL! AWOL!
Ralph: Countdown better do something quick!

*Even with an easy ONE HUNDRED POUND weight difference between the two, Countdown can't make the journey to the ropes he so desperately needs! The move is LOCKED! Our masked hero reaches out towards the ropes one last time with his foot, screaming in agonizing pain!*

Bob: Can he make it?!
Ralph: He's trying his damndest to hold out but it looks like...

*It's in vain! Countdown has had enough and TAPS to the Master of the AWOL submission!*

!!DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!!

Bob: HE TAPS! HE TAPS!

Fans: O_O *SHOCKED*

*"Don't Tread on Me" kicks up again, as the referee has to FORCE Suicide off of the fallen Countdown! Fans sit in the arena completely and utterly destroyed to see that not only has Suicide retained, but he did it with a tap out victory! Seth snatches the Military Title out of the referee's hand, raises his arm in victory before falling back to his knees in pain!*

Ralph: Listen to these fans Bob!
Bob: They're not saying anything!
Ralph: EXACTLY! What the hell is going to happen now?! Who in the hell is out there that can stop Suicide?!

*Suicide raises the title high in the air as he's being helped to the back by Heero Yuy!*

Suicide: e_e!

Bob: I'm not sure, especially with THE MAYOR in his corner!

Winner and STILL UCTF Military Champion: Suicide

*Inside the ring, Countdown crawls back up to his knees, thoroughly pissed and embarrassed that he had to tap out.. But the fans still show the masked wrestler a damn good show of respect, by giving him a standing ovation for his efforts against the Military Champion!*

Fans: Countdown! Countdown! Countdown! Countdown! Countdown! Countdown! Countdown! Countdown! Countdown! Countdown! Countdown! Countdown!

Countdown: ;_; *raises arm in the air*

Fans: *POP!*

Bob: Well he came up short tonight ladies and gentlemen.. But don't ...count out... Countdown just yet! Somewhere down the line he'll get another shot.
Ralph: count out Countdown... you're in rare form tonight!
Bob: -_- RALPH! RALPH! LOOK ON THE JUMBO TRON?
Ralph: There better be a naked woman up there e_e... OH CRAP O_O!

*On top of the jumbotron are none other than Quadruple N and Ric Austin! The score is now 36 to Ric's Zero, a damn close match (e_e...)! No Seriously, if NNNN falls off of the jumbotron, you could count to ten million, he's never gonna get up!*

Bob: I can't believe this, but.. But RIC is in control right now!
Ralph: yeah and NNNN better do something quick or he's going to take the long tumble down!
Bob: ...hey, can't NNNN fly?
Ralph: yeah, he can. But I'm sure that idiot doesn't remember that.

*NNNN is cornered at the edge of the roof! And with Ric pounding away, it seems certain that our favorite saiyan warrior in the UCTF (THE ONLY ONE) is about to take the biggest fall of his life!*

Ric: !!PUNCH!!
NNNN: X_x!!

Bob: NNNN's barely up there! He's only on one foot!
Ralph: when he hits below.. This whole arena is going to fall apart.. The fatass!
Bob: O_o you're not much smaller.
Ralph: SHUTUP.

Ric: *SWING!*
NNNN: *DUCKS!*

*Ric hits nothing but air at the most critical time in this match! Now HE'S wobbling over the edge!*

Ric: OH SH–
NNNN: KIYAAAA!!!

*NNNN KICKS Ric in the ass, sending him LEAPING off of the jumbo tron! Ric turns in midair, landing below back first! It's like.. The PERFECT stunman landing!*

!!CRASH!!

Ric: X_X_X_XX_XX_!!
NNNN: ....e_e..

Bob: OH MY GOD!!!!
Ralph: Ric's dead! Ric's Dead! Ric's Dead!

*THEN NNNN JUMPS OFF AFTER HIM!*

Bob and Ralph: WHAT THE HELL?!!?

!!!CRASH!!!!

*The referee sells it worse than both fighters! He makes the count!*

Ref: 1........2 .........3!!

!!DING DING DING DING DING!!

Arzie: And the winner of the Best of 37... and now NUMBER ONE RANKED SUPERSTAR IN THE UCTF!! QUAAAAAADRUPLE NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Crowd: YAAAAAAY!!

Ralph: x_X 37 wins in one match.. And they all count separately..
Bob: so that means that NNNN is on an even higher plateau than the grand champion X_X somebody shoot me.
Ralph: and make sure the bullet goes through Bob's skull and hits me!

NNNN: X_X!

Winner: NNNN

Bob: Ladies and Gentlemen.. Let me be the first to apologize for the match you just had to bear witness to...
Ralph: Hopefully this damn fued is over!
Bob: indeed! And to further ask for our forgiveness for such a SHITTY pay per view match... It's time.. It's time.. IT'S TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT!

Arzie: Ladies and Gentleman.. The following match is scheduled for one fall... and it is for the ULTIMATE CROSSOVER TOURNAMENT FIGHTING LEAGUE'S GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP!

*HUGE OVATION FROM THE CROWD*

Arzie: The winner will be decided in a BARBWIRE, LANDMINE, ELECTRIFIED CAGE MATCH!

Ralph: Sheesh! Doesn't it sound worse and worse everytime you hear it?!

Arzie: INTRODUCING FIRST–

*"HALO" by Soil starts up first, bringing down the first participant to the Death Trap Cage match! He is the now ONE-Winged Demon Halfbreed...*

Arzie: From Hayborn, Scotland, standing at six feet, four inches.. And weighing in at 245lbs HE IS THE UCTF INTERGALACTIC CHAMPION.... RAVVVEEEEENNN DARRRRCCCCCC!!!

Bob: Raven's involvement goes back to December, when Xion the Unborn destroyed he and Melvic Lillith in the UCTF Intergalactic Championship rematch...
Ralph: And Raven's taken out the tag team champions alone on two separate occasions.. I'm sure Xion would love to get his hands on Mr. Darc tonight... if he gets a chance e_e

...tckt...tckt...tckt...tckt...

*"Testing" is up next, and down comes the king of "Ultra-Violence" Shawn Shane Shields!*

Arzie: INTRODUCING NEXT, FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA.. STANDING AT FIVE FEET, ELEVEN INCHES, AND WEIGHING IN AT EXACTLY TWO-HUNDRED POUNDS... SHAWWWWN SHANNNNEEE SHIEEEEEELLDDDDSSSSS!

Ralph: And down comes Bob's best friend!
Bob: =| And conspicuously without weapons.
Ralph: He's going to be fighting inside and oversized weapon. What does he need MORE for?!

*SSS climbs inside the demonic structure... all alone with Raven Darc! Loyal fans to the UCTF mark out from such a sight! The rest can kiss Jamal's ass ^_^ "No Light Theory" Brahman begins playing next, bringing out the ex-heel evil japanese bastard, Kunoi Ishigami!*

Arzie: AND FROM THE HOKKAIDO PREFECTURE OF SAPPORO JAPAN... STANDING AT FIVE FEET, TEN INCHES, AND WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED-SIXTY SEVEN POUNDS.... HE IS KUNOIIIII ISHIGAMIIIIII

*And out comes Kunoi Ishigami.. The man who's only super power is his pure hatred and rage for everything non japanese storms to the ring to finally get his hands on the man who beat the living hell out of his girlfriend and held the entire UCTF Arena hostage!*

Kunoi: >=|!

*I hear ya pal! Once his music dies down, The Atari's remake of "Boys of Summer" kicks up! The arena EXPLODES with an ovation, as Melvic Lillith makes his way down the aisle!*

Arzie: AND NEXT.. STANDING AT SIX FEET, TWO INCHES, AND WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED-NINETY POUNDS... HE IS NNNN'S BEST FRIEND... MELLLVICCCC LILLLITTTHHHH!!!

Melvic: What the hell? >=\

Ralph: that MORON!
Bob: what?!
Ralph: He doesn't have his sword! He can't fight without a sword! He's pathetic without a sword!
Bob: He beat St–
Ralph: THAT WAS A FLUKE AND YOU KNOW IT!

*Sighs! No one ever gives Melvic a chance, no matter how many wins the half demon/half angel picks up! Tonight he's going to make a name for himself or die trying! ... and he might very well die trying in this match x_x .. Poor bastard. BUT I DIGRESS! Joe Satriani's "Motorcycle Driver" starts up, causing an even BIGGER monster reaction from the UCTF crowd!*

Yugo: *walks out* e_e...

*Yugo arrives on the scene, looking just as mean and badass as ever!*

Arzie: FROM JAPAN, STANDING AT ONE HUNDRED- SEVENTY SEVEN CENTIMETERS, AND WEIGHING IN AT EIGHTY ONE KILOGRAMS, HE IS THE FORMER UCTF WORLD CHAMPION.. YUGOOOO OGAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAY!! ^_^!

Ralph: I tell you, these zoanthorpes are something else. Look at Yugo, you can hardly tell he got his ass KICKED by Xion's armblades just a few weeks ago!
Bob: You're right. These guys are born warriors and fast healers! Yugo gets his second and maybe last opportunity at the UCTF Grand Championship.. And what a feeling it would be for this man to win the title over his WORST enemy.
Ralph: don't count on it. These five men you see in the ring took it to Xion at ONCE at our last ppv and couldn't get the job done!

*"Mein Teil" by Rammstein kicks up next! The harsh german voices pave the way for the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting's Champion to make his slow saunter down to the ring, with a title hanging over each of his shoulders! His face is stone cold as he makes his way toward certain injury!*

Arzie: And the champion.. From Sweden, weighing at 56KG, and standing at 173 Centimeters.. He is the ULTIMATE CROSSOVER TOURNAMENT FIGHTING LEAGUE'S WORLD AND GRAND CHAMPION.. HE IS.. XION.. THE UNBORN!

Bob: I don't think I've ever seen this man so focused!
Ralph: He's going to be in a FIVE ON ONE HANDICAPPED MATCH in a few moments Bob. He's scared out of his damn mind!
Bob: He had it coming my friend! This is the perfect example of how KARMA reacts to assholes like him!
Ralph: sheesh man.. What ever happened to non-bias?!
Bob: I used to work for Fox News e_e

Barbed Wire, Landmine, Electrified Cage Match
Raven Darc vs. S³ vs. Kunoi Ishigami vs. Yugo Ogami vs. Melvic Lillith vs. Xion The Unborn
UCTF Grand Championship

*Xion takes his time making his way to the outside of the steel cage. Staring into the eyes of five men who want to rip him from seam to seam, Xion slowly relinquishes his belts to the official on the outside.. All the while attempting to process different scenerios on how to get inside the ring without being bombarded. It ain't an easy thought process folks! There's only one way into the cage.. A single door, no more than 48 centimeters in width...*

Ralph: By the way.. You notice more stipulations keep stacking onto this match as time goes by? First it was just a landmine cage match with a razor wire ceiling.. How did the barbed weire ropes and electricity come in?!
Bob: I don't knoOOOOOOHHHH SHIT!!!! STUN AND ZAPPA ARE IN THE RING!

*earlier in the night*

Stun: *climbing under the ring* e_e don't. Say. A thing.
Ring Crewmember: >_< Ok.
Zappa: *PUKES ON CREWMEMBER*
Ring: OH JESUS !!

*Back in the present, Stun and Zappa immediately make their prescense felt! Melvic and Kunoi are the first victims as they are caught with stiff shots to the back, followed by being thrown out of the ring! Raven won't be so hard to take down, however, as he goes to blows with Zappa! Meanwhile, Stun rekindles his fued with Triple S, DRILLING the former multi champion in the face!*

SSS: >_< !!

*ANOTHER punch, this time to the gut, sends the game doubling over, before he's lifted onto Stun's shoulders! He's been up there before, and just like last time.. the end result of being there will turn out VERY badly!*

Stun: RRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!
SSS: OH FUUUU—

*STUN RELEASE POWERBOMBS SSS INTO THE ELECTRIFIED CAGE!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!

*Shields falls off of the wall of the cage, landing DIRECTLY on the barbed wire top rope! Slowly, his body falls foward, back into the ring, and RIGHT on an explosive landmine!! The twisted expression on his face shows the amount of immense pain he's going through!*

Bob and Ralph: .........

*While all of this is going on, Our Champion enters the ring, resuming the battle with his #1 nemesis! Stun attacks Raven from behind, and it's now BIG TROUBLE for the Intergalactic Champion! Zappa goes upstairs as Stun lifts Raven for the Powerbomb!*

!!KATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

Bob: ARMAGEDDON DEVICE!
Ralph: *chokes on water* X_X
Bob: The Trio has LITERALLY destroyed four of the six members in this match up!
Ralph: and here comes number five x_x

*Yugo attempts in vain to fight off all three members of The Trio, but it's of no use!*

Bob: Yugo is completely outmanned and outpowered here!
Ralph: and things aren't getting any better... x_x
Bob: you're damn right! Xion and Zappa are ascending to the top!

*Stun flips Yugo into his shoulders for ANOTHER powerbomb, but THIS time, Xion and Zappa lock Yugo's arms around their respective shoulders in the rock bottom position...*

Bob: SOMEBODY STOP THIS NOW!!
Ralph: This is going to HURT!

!!KATHOOOOOOOOOM!!

*The Fans have just witnessed the "THIRD AND FINAL ACT!" .. And on a LANDMINE no less! With each and ever competitor destroyed by Xion and his troops, Zappa and Stun exit the cage, leaving Xion standing all alone inside the demonic structure!*

Xion: ^____^

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Xion makes his way across the ring (lightly, he doesn't wanna blow himself up >=|) and covers the unconscious Yugo for the pin!*

Ralph: it's over already!
Bob: It better not! This would be a travesty!

Ref: *goes to slap his hand down* ............... *YELLS INSTEAD* ONE... TWO... THR-

*KUNOI DIVES IN AND MAKES THE SAVE, KNOCKING XION OFF OF YUGO WITH A FLYING ELBOW STRIKE!*

Crowd: *POPS!!*

Bob: THANK GOODNESS!
Ralph: is he an IDIOT! He coulda set off a landmine flying across the ring like that!

*They're both back to their feet in an instant, with Kunoi getting an attack off first! Using his newly aquired MMA skills, Kunoi strikes viciously with left and right palmstrikes, then immediately double legging the champion to the canvas! He mounts Xion and continues to pummel the champion into the canvas with very stiff lefts and rights to the face!*

Bob: Kunoi unloading on the champion!

*Xion manages to kick Kunoi off, but the japanese bastard is RIGHT back to his feet! He sprints towards his target, only to be caught on the chin by the champion's rising uppercut kick! This haults EVERY BIT of momentum from Kunoi, as the Champion throws him over the top rope and to the floor below by a handful of hair!*

Ralph: See ya Kunoi!
Bob: The champion disposes of Kunoi qui–OH SHIT!

*MELVIC LILLITH attacks the champion from behind with an IMPRESSIVE charging manuever that puts Xion right into the BARBED WIRE ropes, CHEST FIRST! The crowd gives a collective "OOOOOH" of sympathy pains for the Grand and World Champion!*

Xion: x___X OWWW!!

Bob: RIGHT INTO THE BARBED WIRE!!!
Ralph: I'm sure that hurt a lot, but come on.. He's wearing that thick ass coat!

*And I think Melvic heard Ralph, because just then, he RIPS that big red coat right off of Xion, pulls him back, and THROWS HIM RIGHT BACK INTO THE BARBED WIRE CHEST FIRST!*

Xion: X_________________X OH FUCK!!
Melvic: >=|!!!!!

Ralph: THERE YOU GO!

*Melvic takes off across the ring! He leaps OVER the barbed wire ropes, lands feet first on the electrified wall and propells himself across the ring. Xion turns around just in time to be SONIC TACKLED back first into the barbed wire! This time the ropes almost collapse from the impact! Xion would fall to the ground, but he CAN'T because of the barbed wire getting itself stuck inside his torn flesh!*

Bob: Xion definitely hurt from these series of attacks from Lillith!

*The winged one rips Xion away from the ropes via irish whip, however the champion REVERSES into an irish whip of his own amazingly! Melvic uses that momentum to jump back onto the wall and come back flying with all of his might towards Xion! It's a big mistake, as the champion snatches Melvic out of the sky by the throat, and turns the poor demon/angel's momentum into a VERY BIG.. VERY PAINFUL ENGAGE CHOKESLAM ON A LANDMINE!*

!!!KATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

Melvic: X_X!!!!!!!

Ralph: O_O OH NO!
Bob: ENGAGE CHOKESLAM REVERSAL! MELVIC'S DOWN!

*The poor bastard is LIMP as he's kicked out of the ring like yesterday's garbage by the grand champion!*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Bob: And Xion takes out ANOTHER one!
Ralph: He is kicking ass and taking names right now.. But to be fair, Zappa and Stun had a lot to do with how this match is going right now!

*Alone in the ring, the champion takes a few moments to favor his injuries that were sustained at the hands of Melvic Lillith. Remember, Xion isn't too far removed from the beating and blasting at the hands of William Clarke, then the five on one attack at the hands of his very opponents tonight! On the other side of the ring, the second highest champion in the UCTF, Raven Darc pulls his injured body back into the ring. With an "oh great" expression, Xion turns to face his new opponent.*

Raven: >=|
Xion: >=|!

Bob: We've seen sneak attacks on each other from both of these warriors before, but a few short seconds from now will be the first ever meeting of these two inside the squared circle!

*Raven takes his trench coat off and tosses it out of the ring. Xion kicks his out of the ring before meeting the giant half demon in the center of the ring.*

Bob: and here we goooo—

*Raven strikes first with a right hand, but it is immediately traded off with a stiff knife edged chop from Xion! Raven doesn't give way, and follows up with another right of his own, followed by a second chop from the grand champion! Neither man budges, and the blow by blow battle continues for several more hits from the two!*

Bob: Right now it's about who has the most determination!
Ralph: no, right now it's about who just got DIDN'T get their asses beat by the trio, and that's Xion who's now got the upperhand!

*Xion HAS gotten the upperhand, as his backhand chops overpower Raven's closed fists! The Grand Champion lays in chop after chop after powerful chop into the half breed, breaking the man down with each strike!*

Xion: ARRRRRGGHHH!!!

!!WHOOSH!!

*Raven FINALLY ducks, and all Xion manages to hit is the air! The champ spins around mildly disoriented, and is caught by Darc, who immediately sets the Grand Champion up for the finisher, the "Endless Waltz!" The crowd peaks up immediately for the big finish, but they're DENIED after Xion NAILS the IG champion with a kick to the balls!*

Raven: >____< !!!
Xion: HEY RAVEN! LOOK AT THE CAMERA! YOU JUST GOT KICKED IN THE NUTS! ^_^!

*(if you got that joke, you REALLY surf the internet WAY too much!) Xion snatches Raven by the throat! It's ENGAGE CHOKESLAM time for the Intergalactic Champion!*

Bob: A LOW BLOW BY XION AND THIS COULD BE IT FOR RAVEN DARC!

*Xion powers Raven over his head, however, the champion of over THIRTY titles in the span of his career has made a living off of reversing finishers! The Engage Chokeslam is no different! Raven plants his feet into Xion's chest on the way down, reversing the Engage Chokeslam into a MONKEY FLIP! Xion flips over and lands on the BARBED WIRE ROPES!*

Xion: DLSKFAJSD;LFKJASD;FLK

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!

*The champion flips backwards, instinctively landing back on his feet! NOT a good idea, because the moment he turns around, Raven Darc snatches him into the exploder suplex position, before hitting the ENDLESS WALTZ! Both men hit the landmine below, setting it off!*

!!!!BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

Bob: ENDLESS WALTZ ON THE LANDMINE!!!
Ralph: AMAZING! NEW GRAND CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Raven is a little worse for wear, but he didn't considering he didn't just land FACE FIRST on a landmine, he's in MUCH better shape than Xion! He crawls over for the pin and championship!*

Ref: ONE... TWO ... THR---

*BUT KUNOI MAKES THE SAVE TO A HUUUUUUUUUUGE CHORUS OF BOOING FROM THE UCTF CAPACITY CROWD!*

Bob: KUNOI JUST SAVES THE CHAMPION!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!?!?!?!!?!?!
Ralph: O_O we..WELL he's in it to win too I guess.... even though I'd much rather face Raven Darc in a grand title match than Xion any day of the week x_x

*Kunoi doesn't give a SHIT what anyone thinks! >=|! If someone's going to dethrone Xion, it's gonna be him, regardless of who he has to go through! Picking Raven up, Ishigami goes to work on the Intergalactic Champion with several open hand jabs to the face. He grabs him by the hair, and pulls him down for a few mean knee strikes right to the forehead! Already busted up and bloody from the previous attacks, Raven's blood flies in a mist from every attack from the stiff hitting Ishigami!*

Kunoi: >=|!!! FUCK YOU!

*He tosses the big man over with the ISHIGAMI SUPLEX onto the canvas! Lucky for Raven it wasn't on a landmine, but it's still enough damage to give Kunoi Ishigami time to gloat about throwing the champion around like a small child!*

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Ralph: why are these idiot fans booing?! >=| He's just trying to win the match!
Bob: Then win the match! Don't gloat about it!

*Kunoi mounts his opposition and goes to work with those open palm strikes! Ishigami is focused to the point where it's only HIM and Darc in the ring! Trust me folks.. In a SIX MAN match.. That's NOT a good idea! Triple S comes out of NOWHERE with a SHINING WIZARD on Kunoi!!*

Bob: SHINING WIZARD! SHINING WIZARD! SHINING WIZARD!!
Ralph: HE'S GOTTA BE KNOCKED OUT FROM THAT! SERIOUSLY!

Crowd: *POPS!!*

Ralph: oh, and SSS gets a pop for that! That's crap!

*That's right.. The game's FINALLY recovered from the powerbomb, electricution, barbedwire, landmine bump he took at the very beginning of this match! And when I say recovered, I mean barely conscious and standing on his feet!*

Bob: SSS is going in his pocket...
Ralph: I NEVER like when SSS goes into his pocket.. It usually ends up being something like...

*and pulls out a JUMBO pack of thumbtacks that looks like he bought in bulk at Costco!*

Crowd: *HUGE POP*

Ralph: LIKE THAT!
Bob: SSS with thumbtacks galore!

*SSS empties out the entire package onto the ring's canvas, as if it already wasn't dangerous enough with landmines and a fucking TIME BOMB!*

Bob: Who's going to be SSS's victim?!

*SSS picks up poor KUNOI!*

SSS: e___e!

Ralph: WHY KUNOI?! GO FOR THE M AN WHO HELD YOU FREAKING HOSTAGE!!
Bob: Hey, SSS wants to win like everyone else e_e
Ralph: oh screw you e_e

*SSS picks up Kunoi for what's going to be THE WORST scoop slam in Kunoi's entire career! Thumbtacks and possibly a LANDMINE awaits him below! Ishigami begins to stuggle intensly! Somehow he slips out of the wrestling hold, and delivers a drop kick to the game! SSS wobbles backwards, just inches from falling into the thumbtacks!*

SSS: >_< !!!
Kunoi: .. .>=D!!

*Kunoi takes a few steps, and charges SSS at full steam! The game ducks, and hits A BACKBODY DROP on Ishigami! Yes, we're going OLD SCHOOL TONIGHT! Kunoi flips over and lands RIGHT ON THE THUMBTACKS!!....oh yeah and–*

!!KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*A FREAKING LANDMINE!!!*

Kunoi: *WRITHING LIKE TERRY FUNK!!!*

Bob: Kunoi has just been backbody dropped onto a landmine covered with thumbtacks!
Ralph: He's like a human bulletin board right now! LOLLOL!

*From SSS's OTHER pocket (he wears cargo pants! ^___^) He pulls out ANOTHER ginormous bag of thumbtacks! Turning the back upside down, he empties the entire contents on the mat!*

Crowd: *ANOTHER HUGE POP*

Ralph: Did he bring the entire home depot here with him tonight?!

*The champion is pulled back up to his feet by Shields! That's right! The game is preparing to put the prettiest of men face first into the tiny sharp metalic objects covered across the ring! That's the last place Xion wants to go! Xion chops his way out of Shawn's grip, followed by a forceful whip into the barbed wire ropes! Xion takes a few steps back, and prepares to decapitate the game with a Yakuza Kick, but halfway into the charge, it's XION who's going to need to shop for a new head, as his old one is KNOCKED OFF by Yugo Ogami!*

Bob: RIGHT CROSS! RIGHT CROSS! RIGHT CROSS to Xion!
Ralph: WHERE THE HELL DID HE COME FROM?!

*IT DOESN'T MATTER, because SSS takes him right back out of the game with a BULLDOG ontop of the thumbtacks below! That's right folks, it's FACE FIRST into the tacks!*

Yugo: LDKFAJSDF;AKSDF;LK!!!
SSS: X____X!!

Ralph: HOLY SHIT!!!
Bob: This match has truly turned into every man for himself now! SSS is picking up Yugo now!

*SSS sets the japanese boxer up for the Pedigree Piledriver onto more Tacks!*

Kunoi: >=|||||||||||!!!!!!

*But Kunoi shows up, literally leaping off of the BACK of Yugo, and executing a SHINING WIZARD on Triple S! Falling back from the knee, SSS NAILS the Pedigree piledriver on Yugo at the same time!*

SSS: X_X!!

Bob: SHINING WIZARD FROM KUNOI! SHINING WIZARD FROM KUNOI!! PEDIGREE PILEDRIVER ON YUGO!
Ralph: and it was beau----OH SHIT!

*Kunoi turns right into a YAKUZA KICK from RAVEN DARC!! Kunoi CORKSCREWS on impact!*

Bob: WHAT A KICK BY RAV—

*RAVEN IS THEN SPEARED OUT OF NO WHERE BY MELVIC LILLITH ONTO THE THUMBTACKS! The crowd damn near shits their pants!*

Ralph: ASLDKFJASDLKSDJFELVIC LILLITH!!
Bob: That was one hell of a sonic tackle my friend!
Ralph: I can't believe I'm saying this, but MELVIC IS THE ONLY ONE STANDING!
Bob: And he's leaving the ring!
Ralph: what the hell is he doing? PIN SOMEBODY!

*Melvic has better plans, Ralph! He ducks down under the ring for a few moments, before coming back up with his sword.. AZURA*

Crowd: *POP*

Melvic: >=|........

Bob and Ralph: OH SHIT!
Ralph: and here I thought it would be SSS who would be hiding weapons under the reing!

*Melvic cuts through the barbed wire ropes as he jumps back into the ring, and makes his way towards... who else? THE GRAND CHAMPION! Xion looks up with just enough time to see the former swordchampion coming down at terminal velocity with his sword!*

Xion: O_O OH SHSDSARRRRRRGHGHGHHH

!!CLANG!!

*And manages to turn into his Unborn status at the LAST POSSIBLE SECOND, avoiding being sliced down the middle!*

Bob: and Xion barely avoids DEATH at the hands of Lillith!
Ralph: he..he..he actually tried to KILL him just now! O_O

Unborn: >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*The pissed off Unborn grabs Melvic by the throat, and shoves the little bastard SO HARD that he is put THROUGH the barbed wire ropes and into the electrified cage! This creates a spark so powerful that the entire arena's power supply FLICKERS for a split second!*

Bob: O_O! OH MY GOD!
Ralph: BYE MELVIC!

*Kunoi jumps Xion next, but is EASILY thwarted by the now powered up Unborn, who kicks Kunoi's leg from under him, followed by a string of kicks connecting everywhere from his face to midsection! A final big boot puts Kunoi into the ropes! SSS comes off the top rope, but is ARMBLADE UPPERCUTTED right out of the sky!*

Bob: The unborn under complete contro— I SPOKE TO SOON! YUGO IS BACK UP!

*Yugo, now in wolf mode is the only one able to stand up to the Unborn! Taking Xion's best armblade assisted punches, The Wolf fires right back with open clawed slashes to the body of the champion!*

Bob: This is what makes the Zoanthropes such a HUGE favorite to win this match! There's almost no limit to the physicality they can take and dish out!
Ralph: You're right! That's why I feel sorry for SSS and Kunoi especially!

*Xion and Yugo CONTINUE to trade punches in the center of the ring! There is no quit in EITHER! Blood sprays all over the ring with each connected hit! Neither waste the energy it takes to block! It's just a battle of who can take the most punishment!*

Unborn: RRGGGHHGHGHHH!!! *SLASH!!!*
Wolf: RRRRRRRRRGGHHH!!! *PUNCH!!*

SSS: *looks at raven* e_e
Raven: ...*nods* e_e

*Raven and SSS crawl to opposite corners, slowly pulling themselves back to their feet, ALLOWING the two beats to pummel each other into dust!*

Unborn: x_X... *SLASH*
Wolf: X_X.... *PUNCH!!*

*Yugo and Xion literally beat the ZOANTHORPE out of each other, and revert back to their original forms! The SECOND that happens, Raven Darc and SSS NAIL them with dual savate kicks right to the face, sending them both to the ground like Giant Redwoods!*

!!! POP!!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!

Bob: XION AND YUGO ARE OUT!!
Ralph: HELL YEAH THEY ARE ! LOLLOLLOL

*SSS and Raven give each other five!*

SSS: ^_^
Raven: ^_ >=|!!!!

*BUT RAVEN SNATCHES SSS BY THE NECK!*

Ralph: HE TURNED ON HIM!
Bob: I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A —NO!

*Kunoi DIVES across the ring... AND IS CAUGHT AROUND THE NECK ALSO!*

Bob: o_o!! Raven's got them BOTH!!

*Ryan Walker then transforms into COMPLETE 100% RAVEN DARC WHILE CHOKESLAMMING BOTH KUNOI AND TRIPLE S INTO THE LANDMINES BELOW!*

Crowd: SDLFKAJSDLFKAJDSFLKDJS !!!!!!!

Ralph: HO-LEEE SHIT!! Did you see that?!!?
Bob: X_X UNFORTUNATELY I DID!

*Kunoi is the first to respond, thus unfortunately drawing Raven Darc's attention! The IG Champion SLOWLY stalks Kunoi into the corner, savoring every moment of Kunoi backpeddling that he can! Wait.. Did I say.. KUNOI. BACKPEDDLING? Yeah right >=| The former Anime Champion is PURPOSELY drawing Raven's attention, giving SSS enough time to DIVE on Raven's back, throwing the champions VERY OWN TRENCH COAT over his head!*

Raven: WHAT THE?!!?

*Kunoi jumps up, delivers a STIFF gut punch, followed by two open palm strikes to the face! He comes around with a rolling chop on Raven, followed by a knee strike, THEN A HIGH ROUNDHOUSE TO THE FACE!! He retreats to the corner, only to come ROARING BACK with a BUISAKI KNEE TO THE FACE!!!*

Bob: BUISAKI COMBO BY KUNOI! RAVEN'S DOWN! RAVEN'S DOWN!

Kunoi: =D!!!! ISHIGAMI, ICHI----
SSS: VENOM STRIKE!!!

!!KATHOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

*Ishigami LITERALLY EATS the Game's Ki attack!!*

Kunoi: X_______X!!!
SSS: ... e_e....

Ralph: HOLY FUCK!!

*The game looks down at the littered bodies across the ring, and gives a hand motion as to say "FUCK THIS!!" Ripping Raven Darc's trenchcoat on the barbed wire, Trips wraps the thick fabric around his hands, and begins scaling the electrified wall towards the roof!*

Bob: What the hell is this?!
Ralph: He doesn't want anymore! He's leaving!
Bob: But what about the front door????

*From SSS's OTHER pocket, he pulls out a pair of WIRECUTTERS!!*

Ralph: WIRE CUTTERS?! LMFAO!
Bob: he DID bring the entire store of Home Depot with him!

*With his new tool, SSS cuts a section of the razor wire laced roof away, and climbs his way on top of the cage! Now twenty five feet high, SSS walks to the edge of the cage, and begins signaling for something. No one knows what the hell is going on, until the JUMBOTRON IS RIPPED APART BY AN 18 WHEELER CONVOY FILLED WITH LIGHTTUBES BACKING INTO THE ARENA!*

Everyone: O_O_O_O_O

Bob and Ralph: WHAT THE–

*In the presidential box seats*

Jeice: FUCK!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?

Ralph: HE'S CRAZY! THIS SON OF A BITCH IS CRAZY!
Bob: O_O! IT'S.. IT'S COMPLETELY FILLED WITH... WH..WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH THAT MANY LIGHT TUBES?!!?
Ralph: LIGHT NEW YORK CITY! >=|

*The drivers step out of the truck.. It's CHRISTINA CALLAD! In her arms, she's carrying a BOX of light tubes! She tosses a rope to SSS, who pulls the container of light tubes to the roof of the cage...*

Christina: e_e THIS BETTER BE THE LAST TIME!
SSS: IT IS. >=| NOW PLUG IT UP!

Bob: ...p..plug?
Ralph: ..he can't mean..

*in the presidential box seats*

Jeice: You idoit!! YOU BETTER NOT TURN ON ALL THOSE DAMN LIGHT TUBES! YOU'LL SUCK THE ENTIRE CITY'S ENERGY DR—

*Christina plugs the truck up, and IMMEDIATELY.. Anime City suffers a brownout of EPIC proportions! The entire arena is ONLY lit by the very truck that Christina has backed into the mecha arena! The commentator's microphones have powered down, and the only thing you can hear are the fans going BATSHIT!*

SSS: >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Out of all people, it's XION who's climbed to the top of the cage to put a stop to Triple S's shenanigans, but for his troubles, the grand champion is clobbered over the skull with a lighttube!*

!!SHATTER!!

Crowd: *POPS!!*

*The champ doesn't go down, but SSS has already picked up a second lighttube, and smashes IT over the champions head as well!*

!!SHATTER!!

Crowd: *BIGGER POP!*

*Shawn grabs a THIRD! As he swings, Xion grabs him by the throat!*

Xion: Will you PLEASE stop hitting me with those!?!? ! >=|!!!!!!!!
Shawn: LKKKKAKAAHKKKK!!!

*The champion pushes The game towards the edge, and prepares to deliver the BIGGEST Engage Chokeslam that the UCTF has EVER seen! SSS battles back with every bit of energy, every bit of desperation in his body, because if he doesn't, it's a LONG trip down! It's not enough! Xion headbutts the poor bastard right on the nose to hault any more offense! This busts BOTH the champion and SSS open via the forehead! Of course, SSS's forehead has taken such a beating over the years, the poor bastard can be busted open just by washing his face with a wet towel, but I digress! SSS is barely on the cage, mostly supported by the champions chokehold, when MELVIC LILLITH CLIPS the champion's leg from behind!*

Xion: DAMNIT MELVI—

*The distraction gives SSS the opportunity to stuff Xion's head between his knees! The game locks the arms, and BOTH fighters FLY OFF OF THE CAGE, LANDING A PEDIGREE PILEDRIVER INTO THE SEA OF LIGHTTUBES BELOW!*

!!!!CRAAAAAAAAASSSSS--------

*The broadcast resumes a few short moments later, surveying the damage of the now powered UCTF arena!*

Bob: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IF YOU MISSED IT, TRIPLE S PEDIGREE PILEDROVE THE CHAMPION TWENTY FIVE FEET INTO A TRAILER FILLED WITH LIGHTTUBES! NEITHER MEN HAVE MOVED SINCE!
Ralph: what the HELL was Shawn thinking!?!?! WHAT WAS HE THINKING?!!?

*Several medics have rushed to the scene to tend to the very injured and very burnt SSS and Grand Champion Xion, only to be SHOVED to the side by Melvic Lillith, who isn't done with the champion!*

Xion: x_X oh..oh..oh no
Melvic: REMEMBER ME ASSHOLE! *PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH*

*Melvic has gone BERSERK on the skull of Xion! He really REALLY doesn't like this guy! Meanwhile, on the inside of the ring, the three remaining members of this match, Raven Darc, Yugo Ogami, and Kunoi Ishigami are back on their feet (and in much better shape than SSS and Xion x_x) Duking it out in the center of the ring!*

Bob: This is a pier six folks! There's no science at all, there's just si—fiv–four men beating the hell out of one another!
Ralph: Bob, can you imagine the ELECTRICITY BILL that Jeice is going to have to pay thanks to that SSS stunt?!
Bob: Yeah, that's why the president is CRYING in his box seat right now!

*Presidential Box Seat*

Xiu: There.there. =(
Jeice: ;_;!!!! that MORON!!!

*Outside the cage, Xion has had ENOUGH. The champion begins to retreat up the ramp to a loud chorus of boos! Melvic however, is RIGHT behind him!*

Melvic: >=| WHERE ARE YOU... o_o.... *turns and looks at the truck* ...e_e... going?

*Melvic jumps in, tosses Christina Callad's flat ass right out of the truck! He cranks the sombitch up and pops the clutch!*

Bob: ..w..what is he...

Xion: ... o_o... *turns around*
Melvic: >=|!!!!!!!!!!!! DODGE THIS!!!

!BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAMAMAMAGLBKABLAKJALBALBLASDAF;SDKFAJD;LFJ!!!

*Melvic DRIVES THE TRUCK INTO XION, INTO THE REMAINS OF THE JUMBOTRON AND WRECKS THE ENTIRE DAMN THING!!!*

Crowd: O_O!! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK!

Ralph: THAT'S IT! XION'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD!
Bob: ..he hit him with an 18 wheeler...
Ralph: WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MELVIC!

*Melvic opens the door to the truck and falls out, blood is pouring from his nose, proving why you should always wear your seatbelt!*

Melvic: X_X

Bob: And he might have just ended his career as well!
Ralph: NO. THIS IS GONE TOO FAR! THIS MATCH HAS GONE TOO FUCKING FAR! HITTING PEOPLE WITH TRUCKS?!?! SUCKING UP THE ENTIRE CITY'S ENERGY? >=|
Bob: are you saying... somebody stop the damn match?
Ralph: YES!

*On the inside of the ring, Ishigami ducks a haymaker from Yugo, and locks on the full nelson. Before he can execute the dragon suplex however, he's elbowed repeatedly by Yugo, who breaks the hold, followed by a spinning roundhouse punch that knocks Ishigami inside out!*

Bob: YUGO WITH THE KNOCKOUT PUNCH ON KUNOI!

*Raven lunges forward, only to be caught in the stomach with a gut punch!*

Bob: Raven on one knee!
Ralph: If Yugo can knock out Raven right here, he could take this match and the title!

*But Darc won't be put away so easily! Not when he has CHAINS that flow from the demon's back like tentacles! A chain splurts from Raven's body, wrapping itself around the boxers neck, and unleash a furious current of electricity through the zoanthorpe's body!*

Yugo: ARRASEFRASDFARRRGGHHHHH!!!! >=|!!!

*But it only serves to piss Yugo off, transforming him into his beast mode!*

Raven: Not enough Juice to hurt you huh? >=| Well how about THIS.

*A SECOND chain shoots from Raven's body, this time wrapping itself around the ELECTRIFIED CAGE! Raven turns himself into a human CIRCUIT!*

!!!JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTTT!!!!

Yugo: X___________X!!!

*The added boost of electricity sends Yugo straight down to the canvas, smoking like a christmas turkey!*

Ralph: DOWN GOES OGAMI! DOWN GOES OGAMI!

*Raven turns around and BARELY avoids being decapitated with a Busaiki knee! Kunoi ducks Raven's Savate Kick! Raven dodges Kunoi's Gamengiri kick! Then they're BOTH taken out by a Crossbody from TWENTY FIVE feet up via Triple S!*

All Three: X_X_X_X_X_X_X

Bob: SSS from out of no where!!
Ralph: SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH >=|!!!

*From the entrance way.. The truck begins to move backwards.. No.. No one is driving it.. It's being PUSHED back.......... by the Unborn!*

Ralph: O_O!! NO. FUCKING. WAY!

*..WAY!*

Unborn: >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Xion doesn't have enough energy to sustain the Unborn all the way. As he staggers towards the ring, he flickers back and forth between each state! The crowd is hushed at his UNBRIDLED resilliance to even be ALIVE much less walking! He armblades his way through the side of the cage, making a hole for himself to get back into the ring.*

Bob: Xion is BACK in the ring! Melvic's STILL not all the way up!
Ralph: But he's crawling towards the ring Bob! He's crawling!

*Melvic doesn't want to lose the match.. But as he's about to find out... Being on the outside of the ring at this precise moment.. Is the BEST place he can be!*

10.......

Crowd: O_O_O_O_O

9......

Bob: ...oh...oh...oh no...
Ralph: .....

8.....

*In the presidential Booth*

Jeice: ^_^_^_^_^_^_^!!!!!!!!!

7.....

Everyone in the ring: FUCK!!!!!

*Kunoi rolls up Xion for the pin!*

Ref: 1....2...

6....

*Xion kicks out, only to be rolled back up by Raven Darc!*

Ref: 1...2....

*He kicks out, and is immediately school boyed by Yugo Ogami!*

Ref: 1....2....

*The champ kicks out! SSS comes out of no where with the very piece of the roof he cut away before, tossing it at all four men inside the ring! Kunoi is the only one who manages to avoid the shot, but the rest are FLOORED with it!*

5...

Them: X_X_X_X_X

*Triple S LEAPS to the top rope in a single bound and comes off with an EXCELLENT CORKSCREW MOONSAULT ON ALL THREE MEN!*

Ref: 1....2...

*KICK OUT! With only four seconds left, Kunoi, with wrapped hands scales the wall of the cage! It's time for his trump card ladies and gentlemen!*

4....

3....

Kunoi: ...*GULP* ;_;!!!

Bob: KUNOI UP TOP!
Ralph: THIS BETTER WORK OR IT'S OVER FOR EVERYONE!

*SPACE DARKNESS SPLASH FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE ON EVERYONE! >=|!! He covers!*

Ref: 1....2...

*KICK OUT!!!*

Everyone in the Arena: DLKFASD;LFKAJD!!!

2....

Bob and Ralph: *holding each other* =(....

1....

*With less than a second left, Triple S springboards off of the barbed wire ropes, and grabs a hold of the ceiling! Everyone else below... isn't so lucky x_x*

!!!!!!KAAAAAAAAAATHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: X_________________________________________________X!!!!

Bob: AND THE RING EXPLODES LADIES AND GENTLEMAN X_X
Ralph: We're gonna need... approximately.... 12.. Maybe 13 coffins x_x

*In the Presidential Booth*

Jeice: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Xiu: *backs away from Jeice* =(

*When the smoke clears, The fighters AND refereee are COMPLETELY unconscious! Well, except for SSS, who's hanging from the top of the ceiling with a HUGE shit eating grin on his face!*

SSS: ^__________________^!!!!

*but for only a second, as he's SONIC TACKLED off of the ceiling and twenty five been to the canvas.. ON TOP of the thumbtacks!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHASDLKFASD;LFAKSDFALSKDFJSS!!!

Melvic: ...>=|!!!ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

!!HUGE POP!!

Ralph: I FORGOT ABOUT HIM X_X!
Bob: HE WAS NEVER IN THE RING! HE'S COMPLETELY FRESH! ... well as fresh as a man can be after wrecking a convoy!

*Raven and Yugo (and I have no idea why anyone would EVER get up after being blowed up) ARE SPEARED back to the mat! He picks up the boxing champion, and throws him into Kunoi, knocking them both out of the ring and to the floor!*

Melvic: >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*the only one that's left is Xion! Melvic picks the bastard up, slamming the champion into the turnbuckle! Xion stumbles towards the center of the ring, to be knocked down with Melvic's Ki fist! This lays the champion out.. RIGHT in the center of the ring! Melvic looks up at the ceiling, and knows what he must do now >=|!!!*

Melvic: e_e....

Bob: Melvic's flying out of the cage!
Ralph: ...I think I know what he's going for her...I think I know!

*Melvic flips upside down and nosedives towards the cage!*

Bob: IF HE CONNECTS THIS!

*ELBOW FROM HELL ON XION!!!*

Bob: HE DOES!!!!

*Melvic covers, the referee Glen Sanchos slides his ass across the ring and makes one of the SLOWEST COUNTS IN HIS DAMN CAREER!*

Ref: 1.......................... 2............................. 2.9999999999999999999999999!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*KUNOI MAKES THE DAMN SAVE AGAIN!!! >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Crowd: DLAFKSDJFALSDKJFASDLFKASD;FLKADS;FLKSJD;FLK!!!

Bob: X_X!!! KUNOI SAVES THE MATCH AGAIN!
Ralph: OH WHAT THE SLDKFAJS;DLKFA;SDLKFJ

*Melvic gets up PISSED!!!! He jumps on Kunoi and begins pounding the HELL out of him!*

Bob: YES! WHIP HIS ASS! WHIP HIS ASS!

*He picks up Ishigami and irish whips him THROUGH the barbed wire ropes and to the floor!*

Kunoi: *GONE FROM THE CAMERA'S VIEW* X_________X!!
Melvic: >=|

*FROM BEHIND, XION ROLLS MELVIC UP WITH A HAND FULL OF JEANS!!!*

Ref: 1.........2.........3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!DING DING DING!!!

The entire WORLD: OH WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!!?!?

*"Mein Teil" kicks up again.. YES. YOU'VE READ IT RIGHT. XION WIN WITH A FUCKING SCHOOL BOY ON MELVIC LILLITH! >=|!!*

Ralph: it..it's over?!
Bob: O_O.. X..xion wins... Xion.. Just... won.

*Melvic's back up in total DISBELIEF! Just THREE seconds ago he had the match in complete control! Oh this makes him mad... REALLLLY mad!*

Melvic: ... >=|!!!!!!!

*He jumps back on top of Xion going to work on the skull of the champion to a HUGE ovation!! It won't last however, as he's CLOBBERED by the gigantic insect foot of Stun!*

Melvic: X__________X!!!!!!!!!!!
Stun: >=|!!

Bob: Oh GOOD GOD!
Ralph: well.. The match WAS over x_x

*The Tag team champions pull their leader out of the carnage that was the Six Man Barbed Wire, Landmine, Electrified Cage Match!*

Bob: DAMN THAT KUNOI!!
Ralph: Why are you blaming HI–
Bob: BECAUSE IF IT WASN'T FOR HIM WE'D HAVE A NEW GRAND CHAMPION RIGHT NOW, THAT'S WHY! HE RUINED IT! >=|!!!
Ralph: he just wa–
Bob: SHUTUP! >=|

*Thumbtacks, barbed wire, electricity, lighttubes, An 18 wheeler, and a man nailing an elbow from ONE HUNDRED FEET HIGH could not put away the Grand Champion! Just what the hell will?!!?*

Bob: I'm going home >=\ For This idiot Ralph Gerrard, I'm Robert Hinden saying goodnight.
Ralph: hey.. That was me–
Bob: SHUTUP! >=|

*The last shot of the night has Xion barely holding the Grand and World Championships over his head, victorious once again x_x*

end