UCTF Presents...

*Tonight, the usual panning shot of cheering, passionate UCTF fans is replaced by thousands of attendees standing silently, focused on the image of a South Korean flag hanging above the Arena's jumbotron. The Country's national anthem, "Aegukka" plays over the loud speakers as the ALL KOREAN CAPACITY CROWD pays respects! After the song finishes, the crowd gives a standing ovation as Korean military jets stream past the open air arena!*

Ralph: ..oh my God I'm so afraid. o_o.
Bob: me to—OOOH WE'RE ON THE AIR! WELCOME TO THE UCTF SUMMER SPECTACULAR, CYBERSLAM VII!
Ralph: The Death of Kunoi Ishigami.
Bob: INDEED! TONIGHT'S PAY PER VIEW WILL INVOLVE FOUR. YES. COUNT EM. FOUR MATCHES INVOLVING KUNOI ISHIGAMI AS HE STRUGGLES TO HOLD ON TO THE UCTF GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP, INCLUDING FIRST BLOOD, FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE, GREEN HELL IN A CELL, AND FINALLY, A BOXING RULES MATCH AGAINST YUGO OGAMI!
Ralph: And we have some other matches too. o_o
Bob: THAT'S RIGHT! The Tag Championships are on the line, we have a SECOND cage match and uhh.. Something else ...

*Suddenly, The Classic Looney Toons theme "The Merry Go-Round Broke Down" begins playing. Yes, I am being serious.. And who would dare come out to this? Well it's the self proclaimed "Savior" of the UCTF... Sasa Dark! What's even worse than that? He's dressed as ELMER FUDD.*

Bob: .....what is he wearing?!
Ralph: .... isn't that Alice person he has captive a rabbit Zoanthrope?
Bob: .........THAT SON OF A BITCH! >=|

*Sasa Dark looks at the arena around, seeing that they're all of his own national kin and with a grin, he presses a finger to his lips!*

Sasa: Be very very quiet... I'm hunting rabbits... >=)

Korean Crowd: LOL!!!!

Ralph: Where did all these Koreans come from anyway? >_<
Bob: Personally I think Sasa bought all of them plane tickets to get here. e_e

Sasa: I want to thank all of you who have come all the way from South Korea to witness one thing and one thing only... the COMPLETE DESTRUCTION OF KUNOI ISHIGAMI!!! For months now, he has been a thorn in my ass, and that... ends... TONIGHT. Tonight, all of you here, and those of you watching on PPV, you will see not only the end of Kunoi Ishigami, but also a NEW ERA in the UCTF... the era of SASA DARK. >=)

Bob: Someone needs a punch in the face around here. e_e
Ralph: He'll fire them if they do something that stupid! However tempting...

Sasa: Tonight, Kunoi will have to go through several matches even before the main event against Yugo Ogami! If he makes it that far, he will be forced to go on a BOXING RULES ONLY match against Yugo, one of the deadliest boxers ever to grace UCTF history! Once again, I remind you all... if Kunoi kicks, knife-chops, or do anything that would disqualify him in a boxing match, he will be STRIPPED of the title, and the greatest prize in the UCTF will finally be MINE! ALL... FUCKING... MINE!!

Ralph: But wait, if Kunoi loses, it's Yugo that will be the champion, not Sasa...
Bob: Think about it! Yugo is Sasa's lapdog! So if Yugo's the champion, Sasa will have control over it! >=|

Sasa: And Yugo... heh heh... heh heh heh heh... I have your rabbit somewhere. And if you screw this up against Kunoi, then frankly... I'm going to be eating rabbit meat tonight! So you better not lose, Yugo, or you will see your pathetic girlfriend DIE. Do you understand me, Yugo?!!! SHE WILL DIE IF YOU LOSE.

*Sasa bellows out in laughter, and the South Korean crowd cheers along with him!*

Sasa: Say goodnight Kunoi Ishigami... or should I say to you... SAYONARA! Say SAYONARA to your platinum Grand Championship belt! Say SAYONARA to your dreams of making it big in here! Say SAYONARA to ANY hope of you besting me, for I'M the boss around here, Kunoi, NOT YOU. I'm going to make tonight the night that you will forever want to forget... for this is the night where everyone will witness the Fall of Kunoi Ishigami, the movie that will break all box office records!

Bob: This guy is obsessed with Kunoi... o_o
Ralph: X_x

Sasa: Now then, if you excuse me... I have upper-level box seats to go to, and sitting with my Korean celebrity friends and cute Korean girls and eating Korean food, I will have the time of my life watching Kunoi fall into a deep hole he will never be able to climb out of! ^__^

*Sasa leaves to a chorus of cheering usually reserved for royalty!*

Bob: Well there goes Sasa up to his box seats >=|... This is going to be an interesting night...

*Inside the ring, The Ring announcer prepares to introduce the first match...*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen... the Following will be a FIRST BLOOD MATCH!

*"Enemy" by Fozzy starts up, bringing down who may be the ONLY Ninja to ever reside from below the Mason Dixie Line!*

Arzie: Introducing first... Hailing from Charleston, South Carolina... He is the Cybernetically Enhanced Ninjaaaaa.... CRUUUCIFIXXXXXX

*Crucifix walks out to a HEROES welcome to the 110% ANTI-Kunoi Ishigami Crowd as he makes his way down the aisle!*

Bob: Kunoi's going to have to make THIS guy bleed?! He's covered completely from head to toe!!
Ralph: o_o Well, Sasa is an evil Genius. He's proving that tonight. Putting Yugo in a desperate position, putting Kunoi in damn near impossible matches... we.. We're going to have a new champion tonight. I'm calling it.

*Crucifix is now in the ring... and the SECOND his music dies down, the crowd becomes unglued! The arena begins to shake with heel heat before Arzie the ring Announcer can even speak!*

Arzie: ...and his op–

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arzie: ...FROM SAPPO–

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arzie: HE IS THE G–

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arzie: Fuck it, I'm going back to my seat. e_e

*As Arzie gives up and leaves, "Water Pow" by B-Dash begins playing! You can hardly tell however, as the song is nearly drowned out by the VICIOUS jeers from the all Korean crowd! Kunoi slowly walks out, wearing a Japanese flag print on his traditional MMA gear...*

Kunoi: ...e_e...

*He blocks out the heat, instead, storming down the aisle towards the Ninja!*

Kunoi Ishigami vs. Crucifix
First Blood

Crowd: FUCK YOU KUNOI FUCK YOU *CLAP CLAP* FUCK YOU KUNOI FUCK YOU *CLAP CLAP* FUCK YOU KUNOI FUCK YOU *CLAP CLAP* FUCK YOU KUNOI FUCK YOU *CLAP CLAP* FUCK YOU KUNOI FUCK YOU *CLAP CLAP*

*Kunoi climbs into the ring, NEVER taking his eyes off of the ninja! He doesn't even take the belt from around his waist!*

Ref: ..... Kunoi, you ok? o_o

Kunoi: e_e

Ref: ...yeah, you're ok! RING THE BELL!

!!DING DING DING!!

*The SECOND the bell rings, Kunoi is already FIVE FEET IN THE AIR! He drives his knee right into the bridge of The Ninja's nose, sending him spread eagled on the canvas! The Shooto champion mounts his opponent, unleashing a FLURRY of punches into the fighter's face!*

Ralph: *SPITS OUT HIS DRINK* O_O!
Bob: KUNOI WITH A KNEE TO THE FACE!! ISHIGAMI UNLEASHING HELL ON CRUCIFIX!!!!!!

*The Assault stops as quickly as it begins, with Kunoi standing up from the mount before turning and leaving the ring.*

Kunoi: e_e...

*The ref looks down on Crucifix who's BLEEDING through his mask!*

Ref: o_o.. R..ring the bell.

!!DING DING DING!!

*The Grand Champion SILENCES the crowd after a lightning fast victory over Crucifix! Without showing any emotion, Kunoi storms to the back. Giving the camera a quick glare, he quickly says...*

Kunoi: one down. e_e.

*In the Presidential Suite*

Sasa: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?!?!? DAMMIT!!!!

Winner: Kunoi Ishigami

Bob: o_o GENIUS tactic by Kunoi! Take out each opponent quickly to stay as fresh as possible for the REAL challenge that lies ahead in the main event!
Ralph: I don't care HOW fast he destroyed this ham-n-egger. He CAN'T WIN TONIGHT! AND EVEN IF HE DOES, SOME HOT LITTLE NUMBER IS GOING TO BE EXECUTED! >=| THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

*The shot quickly cuts away from the Korean before he can spout more profanities in his anger fueled diatribe! We're back in the ring, where Arzie stands in the center of the ring annoyed.*

Arzie: e_e The following is a Weaponmaster match, and the rules are as follows. No pins. No Count-outs. The competitor wins when the other fighters is either knocked unconscious, or submits. All weapons are allowed.

Ralph: I think he's still a little miffed about what happened a few minutes ago...
Bob: you mean seconds.
Ralph: ...yeah, seconds.

Arzie: Introducing first...

*Metallica's "2 X 4" kicks up first, bringing down the red haired blood elf...*

Arzie: Wielding her Dual hand axes and her bow and arrow.. Being accompanied to the ring by her Wolf Blackstorm... Crawen Darkzeal!!!

Bob: Here comes Ralph's favorite female UCTF star!
Ralph: yeah, right. At least I got off easier than that tool CirqueDeSoleil last week.
Bob: I think you mean Cerelius Loveless?
Ralph: Whatever. Anyone who has the same name as that guy from that SHITTY 1999 Will Smith Movie doesn't deserve my respect.
Bob: ...hoo kayyy...

*Next up, "Lord Give Me a Sign" by DMX begins playing, and out walks former New York Police Officer, Gideon...*

Arzie: And her Opponent, Wielding his broad sword "Nazarine"... he is the Holy Warrior... GIDEONNNNNNNN!!!

Ralph: And I still don't understand how Marcella and that other broad Maria were fighting over THIS guy. THIS GUY.
Bob: I still don't understand how Ukyo and Sue Tellarusso were fighting over you a few years ago.
Ralph: Touche. e_e

Gideon vs. Crawen Darkzeal
Weaponmaster Match

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: The match is under way... Both of these Fighters have something to prove here in the UCTF.
Ralph: You're right, considering the only people they've won against are pure tomato cans...

*The Blood Elf becomes the aggressor early in the match, leaping towards the Holy Warrior, who quickly knocks her out of the sky with a high, athletic roundhouse kick to the body. It knocks the 108 pound female out of the sky, sending her rolling backwards from the hit.*

Bob: Gideon with awesome reaction time there!

*Seeing his chance to perhaps end this match as quickly as the opener, Gideon unsheathes Nazarine, sprinting towards his opponent. As he brings the sword down with an overhead swing, Crawen quickly draws her dual axes! Crossing them, she parries the sword strike while on her back, using her feet to kick Gideon in the bread basket. This weakens the Holy Warrior, as much as it would anyone else in this position, and it allows Crawen to deliver a second kick to the face, sending him to the canvas.*

Ralph: Crawen's no snail, herself.
Bob: Not at all!

*Gideon rolls over to his knees just as Crawen tosses one of her axes towards his throat! Nazarine blocks the flying axe, diverting it's path into the far turnbuckle. He ducks the second axe by leaping to the top rope. Crawen frowns, rolling backwards to her feet while simultaneously producing her Bow and Arrow from her quiver.*

Bob: Crawen abandoning the close range weapons and going for the long range weaponry.
Ralph: Which is a good idea. Axes are good weapons, but against someone with a damn Long Sword? Not smart!

*She retreats as far away from Gideon as possible, before drawing her own chi energy into the arrow.*

Crawen: >=) Block This.

Bob: I think we're about to step it up a notch here!

*The arrow fires across the ring, with Gideon instinctively lifting Nazarine to block. Upon impact, The energy explodes in a concussion like blast, knocking the Holy Warrior backwards. On Gideon's way down, Crawen summons more magical energy...*

Crawen: ENTANGLING ROOTS!

*Thorn covered Roots manifest underneath the ring, shooting through the canvas before entangling Gideon before he even has a chance to land. The shock of the attack causes The Holy Warrior to lose grip around the sword, which itself, is tangled up a few inches away.*

Bob: Crawen with a big move there! Gideon is certainly in trouble, as he's now just a simple target for Crawen to attack with her arrows!
Ralph: uhh.. Look up at the box seats...

*Bob and Ralph turn just as the cameraman gets a shot at Sasa Dark, who's LIVID!*

Sasa: HEY, CRAWEN! THOSE RINGS AREN'T CHEAP! THAT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR PAY CHECK!

Crawen: ugh... >=|

*Crawen ignores the Korean asshole, while pulling out another arrow from her quiver.*

Crawen: This has enough Thunderhawk poison to kill an elephant.. Let's see how your body handles it. >=)

*Gideon's eyes widen from behind his shades as he helplessly watches Crawen fire the arrow right into his shoulder! The poison is quick, causing a violent reaction in his blood. The Holy Warrior vomits as his body tries to purge it from his system!*

Ralph: not looking good.. Not looking good at all.

*Another Arrow comes out of her quiver, this time fueled with burning magic. She fires it INTO the arrow that's still embedded in Gideon's shoulder, splitting it down the middle "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" style! The acid on the tip of the arrow head burns the open wound, causing Gideon to howl in even more pain!*

Bob: Another point blank range arrow shot! The referee's going to have to step in here soon!

*Gideon struggles to stretch his wounded arm as far as it'll go.. Not even an inch away is Nazarine!*

Gideon: ARRRGGHHH!!!

*Using all of his strength, he barely touches the hilt of the blade, INSTANTLY calling upon the sword's power. Lightning flies down into the open air arena, striking the very roots that contain him. It explodes into flames and weakens. Gideon falls to the ground, now fully grasping Nazarine. It's healing abilities cure the Holy Warrior of his the poison.*

Gideon: >=|!

Bob: HE'S FREE!

*The structure that imprisoned him falls to back to the ring as well! Crawen leaps to avoid being crushed, but unfortunately lands a mere foot away from Gideon. The Holy Warrior, with his foot already drawn back, NAILS her in the bread basket! She doubles over and is hit with a giant DDT!*

Ralph: They're going to burn this entire fucking Arena down! >=|
Bob: Calm down Ralph, if The arena survived Andre Tau all these years...

*Still not fully healed from the arrows before, Gideon is slower to climb to his feet than the slightly dazed Crawen, who capitalizes! She picks up her discarded Axe, and WISELY sends the razor sharp weapon into Gideon's sword Wielding wrist! The Axe cutting him down to the bone, Gideon's Nazarine goes flying, and the Holy Warrior falls face first to the canvas!*

Bob: O_O! CLEAN STRIKE BY CRAWEN!
Ralph: Oh, that's not good.. Gideon's bleeding pretty badly here!

*Crawen's got this match won! Standing over Gideon, she lifts the blade a final time!*

Ralph: Gideon's about to go the way of Lovelace here!
Bob: Loveless!
Ralph: Whatever, he's about to get killed!

*However, The Ex-Cop from New York City has a final trump up his sleeve... LITERALLY.*

Gideon: >=D!
Crawen: O_O!

*AN UZI HE'S HAD HIDDEN THE ENTIRE MATCH!*

!!BUDDABUDDA BUDDABUDDA BUDDABUDDA BUDDABUDDA BUDDABUDDA BUDDABUDDA!!

*THAT'S RIGHT. Using his good arm, he pulls out his trusty Uzi that NO ONE realized he had from the start, and unleashes a barrage of non lethal bullets into Crawen, sending the blood elf FLYING through the ropes and to the floor. Gideon drops the weapon, before falling to his back exhausted.*

Bob: Brilliant move!
Ralph: The referee is counting Crawen out...

Ref: ...10! RING IT!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: IT'S OVER! Nice match by the two youngsters here in the UCTF! Gideon plays his Trump card perfectly at the perfect time and manages to pull a fast one on Darkzeal!
Ralph: Coulda gone either way?
Bob: Coulda gone either way! That's got to put him in some form of Contention to face Inuyasha somewhere down the line!

*"Lord Give Me a Sign" plays in the background as the referee helps the bleeding, bruised, and victorious Gideon back to his feet.*

Winner: Gideon

*Backstage, Kunoi Ishigami and The Masked Wonder, Ric Austin are having a conversation, and when I say that, I mean Ric is running off at the mouth while Kunoi Ishigami pays him no attention at all. All he can think about is the predicament Sasa has put him in. Either lose the Championship or be responsible for the death of an innocent little girl. He knows that either way, he's going to be on the receiving end of one of the worst beatings in his entire professional career. Sure, he may be one of the best strikers in the UCTF, but in the confines of boxing rules, he's screwed.*

Ric: So We're all set for later on tonight to be in your corner!
Kunoi: mmm. e_e
Ric: so uhh.................................
Kunoi: What.
Ric: .........you know uhhh... If you win, that girl's gonna... you know.
Kunoi: ...
Ric: Ever thought about..... th...throwing th--
Kunoi: THROWING THE MATCH?!!? >=| IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY, THROW THE MATCH?!!??!
Ric: >_< I'm gonna.. Uhh.. Go now.

*Ric scampers off before he finds himself on the receiving end of the Buisaku Kick Combo. Kunoi sighs, before going into his locker to retrieve some tape.*

Kunoi: ...psh.. Throw the match. Like I'm ever go–... what the hell? Is that an earring?

!!KAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!

*Not just ANY earring, but an EXPLODING one! Ishigami is blown backwards from the explosive, which also destroys half of the damn locker room!*

Kunoi: *COUGH COUGH COUGH* X_X AAHHH!! *COUGHS*

*Through the heavy smoke in the room, Kunoi sees a slim figure rushing towards him! It's not until he sees the blue tinted hair before he realizes who it is!*

Kunoi: OH SH--

*IT'S LEONA!*

Leona vs. Kunoi Ishigami
Falls Count Anywhere

*Leaping through the air, she latches onto The Destroyer, delivering the Heidern Inferno before kicking him THROUGH a damn wall! Kunoi spills out into the hallway area of the Arena, where a referee is already there waiting!*

Kunoi: *COUGH* WHAT THE HELL?!

Ref: *SHRUG* Sasa told me the match had already started! I'm just now getting here!

Kunoi: >=|!!! SASA!!! YOU FUCKING COW–

!!WHAM!!

*Kunoi is blind sided with Leona's ki bolt, the "Baltic Launcher," sending through boxes of stage equipment! The 100+ pound storage bins collapse from the impact with Ishigami's body coming to a rest on top of them. He has no time to regroup, as Leona is already somersaulting over him! She comes down with a stiff axe kick, slamming the Grand Champion's face against the trunk! Kunoi bounces off, staggering to get away from the lunatic who's trying to kill him! He can't move fast enough! Leona's back on the attack, delivering a snap mare type move that sends the Champion flying through the curtain and to the stage in the Grand Arena!*

Bob: Here they are!
Ralph: Leona got an AWESOME sneak attack on Kunoi and hasn't relented ever since!
Bob: AND THE KOREAN CAPACITY CROWD HERE IS EATING IT UP!

Crowd: LET'S GO LEONA! *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* LET'S GO LEONA! *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* LET'S GO LEONA! *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* LET'S GO LEONA! *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

*A full powered KNEE to Kunoi's groan puts The Destroyer from Sapporo flat on his face! He's not down long, however, as Leona lifts him back up by the back of the head. With a violent shove, Kunoi goes flying off the top of the stage, landing CHEST FIRST on the steel barrier below!*

Kunoi: ARRRGGHHH!! OH GOD!! OH GOD!!

*Ishigami slides off, flopping around on the canvas holding his chest!*

Sasa: *SPITS OUT HIS DRINK* O_O.. Awesome!

Bob: Kunoi may have broken his sternum there! Jesus CHRIST!
Ralph: Leona is in rare form tonight. o_o We haven't seen her in competition in quite some time, and she's.. she's kicking some major ass right now.

*BARELY able to crawl, Kunoi tries to make his way toward the ring. Leona stays on him the entire time, KICKING him in the upper back repeatedly!*

Bob: Ishigami can't create any space between the two, and he is being punished for it!

*Now at ring side, Leona tosses Ishigami into the ring!*

Bob: Leona's going to finish him off on in the middle of the ring, it seems like.

*She climbs onto the apron, and goes between the second and third ropes to enter. That's when Kunoi SPRINTS across the ring, hitting a miracle kick to the second rope, sending it RIGHT into her crotch!*

Leona: ARGHGHGHGHHH!!

Crowd: O_O!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Sasa: O_O NO!!

Bob: ISHIGAMI WITH A DESPERATION KICK OUT OF NO WHERE!

*With a HALF second to work with, Kunoi lifts Leona onto his shoulders!*

Bob: HE'S GOT HER UP!
Ralph: ..no f'n way..

Sasa: NO! >=| NONONONO!!

*Kunoi tosses her off of his shoulders and delivers the KATAHIZA right across the bridge of her nose!*

Bob: GO TO SLEEP LEONA!!

*Kunoi covers!*

Sasa: NO!! MOTHERFUCKING NO!!

Ref: 1......... 2........... 3!!!!!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

*The Crowd ALMOST RIOTS as Kunoi's theme music plays victoriously ONCE AGAIN over the sound system! Ishigami rolls out of the ring, holding onto his chest as he slowly stumbles back up the ramp! Sasa is having a coronary in his box seats!*

Sasa: *TRASHING EVERYTHING* >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winner: Kunoi Ishigami

Ralph: oh my God. o_o
Bob: Kunoi somehow survived a blind sided attack. Explosives! Ki! Only to come back with a well placed kick to the ropes and a fireman's carry knee to the face! What a match!

Kunoi: ... *FLIPS OFF THE FANS* >=|

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Officials help Leona to the back while more Ring Crew members rush down to put the cage together around the ring.*

Ralph: oh crap >=\ Here's that stupid Cage match. Tell me, how does some loser ass guy who's never even fought in the UCTF get a CAGE MATCH in his debut?
Bob: I.. I don't know o_o Jeice signed it.
Ralph: Jeice?!!? Is he deliberately trying to sabotage this place?!
Bob: ....maybe?

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen.. The following Cage match is scheduled for one fall, with the stipulation that the loser MUST change his or her finisher's name.

Ralph: Jesus... -_-
Bob: You heard it right, folks. Whoever loses this match has to Change the name of their Finisher. It seems that the newest member of the UCTF Roster, Sao Feng did not like the fact that Nakita Dahaka's finisher was named, "The Dragon Snap." His finisher is so originally titled "Angry Dragon," and apparently the UCTF isn't big enough to have TWO Finishers with the term Dragon in them.
Ralph: You know, I really hope Lina Inverse interferes in this match and kills them both with the Dragon Slave.
Bob: Indeed Ralph.. Indeed...

Arzie: Introducing first....

*"Bombtrack" by Rage Against The Machine kicks up...*

Arzie: Hailing from Beijing, China... SAOOOOO FENGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

Crowd: e_e...

Ralph: Do Koreans hate Chinese, too?
Bob: Indeed.
Ralph: Ah, so that's why the Crowd went Mild just now...

*Sao Feng, the Fu Manchu ripoff climbs into the ring... He has with him his Katana.*

Arzie: And his opponent...

*"Cruel Intentions" by Wicked Wisdom starts up next...*

Arzie: Hailing from Phoenix, Arizona, she is "The Dark Phenom" Nakitaaaaaaaa Dahakaaaaaaa!!!

Bob: And the woman who debuted on Massacre by destroying the returning Ric Austin makes her way down to the ring.
Ralph: I've been reading on UCTF.com that these two have been having a war or words as of late. Apparently Sao Feng a highly annoying loser who frequents internet message boards and spams them to death.
Bob: O_o that's surprising. He looks like he doesn't even know how to use indoor plumbing, much less a computer.

*Nakita takes off her trench coat and gives it to Arzie as he exits the ring. Sao and His opponent stare each other down, as Referees on the outside close and chain the exit to the ring. The only way to win this match is by pin or submission, as we don't have faggy "ESCAPE TO WIN" rules here in the UCTF! >=| ahem...*

Nakita Dahaka vs. Sao Feng
"Dragon Finisher" Match

Ralph: And I'll never get used to how tall she is!
Bob: six feet, four inches.
Ralph: I'd like to climb that wall. H_H
Bob: *sigh*

*Nakita looks toward the referee...*

Nakita: He's going to put down that sword, right?

Ref: uhhh...

Bob: uh oh..
Ralph: I've been wondering if she knew this place used weapons and other worldly techniques.. I guess not.

!!DING DING DING!!

*The tall slender, self-proclaimed "Dark Phenom" quickly ducks under a decapitation attempt from the Undead Warrior! Now behind Feng, Nakita delivers some mean, POWERFUL kick strikes to the arm in a vain attempt to knock the Katana from the Weapon wielder's hand. They're pretty much worthless!*

Sao: AAAHAHAHAHA!

!!FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*Sao fires back with a chi fueled strike, knocking the Dark Phenom CLEAR across the ring! Her back meets the steal gated wall before falling face first on the canvas!*

Ralph: She's getting the "Human joins the UCTF" welcome..
Bob: Many non-powered mortals don't last long in the fed!
Ralph: ESPECIALLY AGAINST OPPONENTS WHO ARE ATTACKING WITH A DAMN KATANA!

*The Wrestler who's used to normally being the dominator in her matches now finds herself scrambling to avoid being impaled by the Undead Warrior's sword! Luckily, she's the faster of the two fighters, and exploits her strength by easily dodging the weapon, while making her opponent pay with stiff kicks to various parts of the body!*

Sao: >=| Stay STILL!

*Feng grows frustrated, as he expected this match to be over already. He charges Nakita, attempting to run the female through with his blade. She quickly rolls out of the way, leaving the Ancient Chinese villain to drive his sword into the cage wall. The mangled cage catches the blade around the hilt, leaving Sao to struggle to pull it back out. BIG mistake for Sao Feng to divert his attention away from his opponent, as he's MURDERED with a flying dropkick to the side of the face! The impact sends the smaller competitor corkscrewing from the impact!*

Crowd: *POP!*

Bob: Dahaka turning Feng inside out with that kick!

*She lifts Feng back to his feet, delivering a powerful European (remember when it was just IRISH) Uppercut! She repeats, followed by an irish whip across the ring! Feng hits the ropes, crashes into the cage wall, bounces back, and is dropped with a million dollar knee lift! Sao climbs back to his feet, while Nakita gains momentum from the ropes once more. Before he can regain his bearings, Dahaka delivers a spinning wheel kick to the jaw!*

Bob: That kick landed RIGHT on Sao Feng's chin! Yet he's still getting up!
Ralph: Wow, whoopty doo, he doesn't have a glass Jaw! He still sucks!

*Sao slowly rolls to his knees, as Nakita points to her knee as to tell the fans she's going for the Shining Wizard!*

Ralph: Yeah... this Newbie is getting his ass handed to him. This will probably take him out right here. e_e

*Nakita EXPLODES across the ring towards Sao, who intercepts! Surrounding his entire body with Chi, the Chinese Pirate propels himself into Nakita like a Cannonball hitting it's target at point blank range! The Dark Phenom flips backwards from the contact!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!

Bob: y..you were saying?
Ralph: lucky shot. e_e.

*Lucky or not, Nakita is hurt BAD from that flying, chi powered headbutt from Feng! She may be the second fighter tonight to have injured her sternum, as she's writhing in pain! Sao Feng leisurely walks to the cage wall, ripping his Katana from it's confines.*

Sao: >=]..

Bob: Nakita's momentum was stopped flat. And the smirk on Sao Feng's face tells the story. She is completely at the Pirates mercy at this point!
Ralph: Just like the match before.. It only takes one move to completely change the tide of a match up! Get up Nakita! Don't let this numbskull who STINKS TO HIGH HEAVEN put you away! GET UP!

*Sao arrogantly, methodically stalks Nakita, taking his human opponent lightly.. Not the best of ideas, as Nakita springs to her feet outta NO WHERE and hits the Lou Thesz press! The crowd naturally pops from the miracle move, and even more when the Phenom drops a flurry of punches into Feng!*

Bob: Nakita on top!
Ralph: Yeah, I wish she wa–
Bob: SHUTUP.
Ralph: k...

*Nakita's come back is brief, however, as Sao drives the hilt of his blade into her sternum with brute force! Dahaka rolls backwards, clutching her ribs, allowing Sao to recover!*

Sao: ...

*He checks his face... BLOOD.*

Sao: >=|!!!!!!!

Bob: UH OH!
Ralph: GET UP NAKITA!

*Pulling Nakita back up by her hair, Sao takes a half a step back, before delivering a VICIOUS uppercut slash to the mid-section with enough force to send Nakita airborne. Filling himself with chi, Sao launches himself as well, SPEARING Nakita through the side with the katana!*

Bob: ANGRY DRAGON! ANGRY DRAGON! THAT'S IT!
Ralph: DAMMIT! >=\

*The Phenom hits the ground, now bleeding profusely and is only conscious on borrowed time now. Feng lands in front of her, placing the Katana to her throat!*

Bob: o_o Sao! That's enough!!
Ralph: Come on Ref! Stop the match you IDIOT before he kills emo puppies!
Bob: Yeah s– Emo Puppies?
Ralph: That's all I could think of to describe her. Dark puppies? That sound better?
Bob: yeah, she's not exactly E–DAMMIT, SHE JUST GOT STABBED TWICE IN THE RING AND WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HER BREASTS! UGH!

Sao: e_e Now, repeat after me. "I Quit."

*Nakita doesn't respond.*

Sao: Do it! I want you to announce to the world that you were defeated! QUIT!

Bob: She's not responding because I don't think she CAN! She's bleeding out!

*Sao doesn't care! He pulls the damn near unconscious Nakita back to her feet by the hair!*

Sao: DO IT! QUIT DAMMIT! I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IT!

*Somehow, out of SHEER desperation, Nakita shoves Sao away a mere foot, but enough created space to LEVEL him with a savate kick to the jaw!*

Everyone: O_O!!

Bob: SUPER KICK TO SAO SUPER KICK TO SAO!

*Sao, to his credit, doesn't go down to the POWERFUL kick! However, that might be to his detriment, as Nakita uses the LAST of her strength to slap on a front face lock, run UP THE SIDE OF THE CAGE WALL, flip behind the Undead Warrior and lock on "THE DRAGON SNAP!"*

Ralph: holy SHIT O_O
Bob: Nakita locks on the dragon sleeper! Nakita locks on the Dragon Sleeper!!

*She falls backwards, locking her LONG legs around the midsection of Sao Feng! He ain't going ANYWHERE! The crowd all stands on their feet!*

Ralph: x_x Sao you IDIOT you could have had it won!!

*Nakita keeps the hold locked as TIGHT as her body will allow her to, but it's too much, too late. The blood loss weakens Dahaka, as she slips into unconsciousness! However, the Dragon Sleeper, choking all of the air out of Feng's body, does it's job as well! The referee rushes over to find BOTH competitors unconscious!*

Ref: ...o_o... RING THE BELL!

!!DING DING DING!!

Ralph: Did he give up?!
Bob: ...Is he out!? Neither are moving!

*The Referees and Arzie have a pow wow on the side of the ring, before the official announcement is made.*

Arzie: The Referee has made his decision... due to the fact that BOTH members have lost consciousness... The Referee has declared this match.. A DRAW!!

Crowd: ...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Arzie: As a result, Both fighters will retain their finishing move names!

Bob: X_X CHRIST.

*EMTs rush in to aid Nakita who lost "Mass Transit" amounts of blood. ALL OVER A DAMN NAME TO A FINISHING MOVE!*

Ralph: At least it was a good match. o_o
Bob: I hope we haven't seen the last of this feud!

Winner: Draw (YES, YOU BOTH GET TO KEEP YOUR NAMES! YAAAAAY!!!)

*In the box seats.*

Sasa: e_e uh huh. It's about to happen. Just make sure you get here. *hangs up.* e_e.. Let's see you escape this next match, Kunoi.

*Backstage...*

Kunoi: ugh.. Stupid Leona...

*The Grand Champion ices his ribs after his "Falls Count Anywhere" Match with Leona. As he watches the ring crew put together the "Green Hell in a Cell" structure, a familiar figure walks.. Err well, sweeps his way into the locker room. That's right, It's.*

Jeice: Hey, Mate. >=\

*Former President, current Janitor, The Orange Crusher, Jeice.*

Kunoi: e_e

Jeice: Yeah, I know. This is all my fault. First I get our funding from Lariat all screwed up, then I give it to that Megalomaniac.. And now I can't even call my finishing move the Western Lariat anymore. It's now the "BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY" bomb, and it ain't even a powerbomb! >=\ But I'm not here to talk about me...

Kunoi: ...

Jeice: e_e It's hard work being a hero, man. You gotta do things you don't want to do, like throw matches to save a little girl's life.

Kunoi: ...

Jeice: But you gotta do it. You have to swallow your pride, mate. You win this match, some little innocent girl gets executed. And can you really have something like that on your conscious??

Kunoi: e_e...

Jeice: Just think about it, man.

*Jeice leaves Kunoi, who continues getting ready for his next match.. Outside the locker room, The President takes off his janitor coveralls, revealing his Ginyu Force armor.*

Jeice: e_e alright Jeice. Anime City isn't that big. You can find the girl before Kunoi knocks that poor bloke's face off in the main event.

*He explodes into a streak of orange, flying out into the city...*

Arzie: The Following match is scheduled for one fall... and it is the GREEN HELL IN A CELL MATCH!

Bob: The ring surrounded by a 15 foot cell made of all Bamboo! It's barbarism at it's greatest, and, for the record, was made before the Punjabi Prison Match! GO TO HELL VINCE MCMAHON!

*Suddenly, the lights go black before "Forever Torment" keys up! The familiar chill goes over the Arena, as Xamot slowly makes his way down the aisle...*

Arzie: Introducing first... the Demon of the Bamboo Forest... XAAAMOTTTTTT!!!!!

Ralph: Xamot is going to feel RIGHT at home inside that structure.
Bob: Can't say the same for Kunoi. Let's hope his girlfriend, Former two time Grand Champion Miko Mido taught gave him pointers about this match up!

Arzie: And his Opp–

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! >=|

Arzie: Nevermind.

*B-Dash's "Water Pow" Starts up, and out walks the heavily wrapped up, horrendously pissed off Grand Champion, who hasn't even had a proper introduction tonight!*

Kunoi: >=|....

Bob: Y..You have to admire Kunoi, the way he's handling this hostile crowd tonight.
Ralph: Yeah, I bet he misses the regular jeers from the UCTF Audience. Tonight we're approaching "SOCCER RIOT" level hatred for this guy!

*Kunoi steps into the ring, and INSTANTLY TAKES DOWN XAMOT BEFORE THE BELL! The Crowd explodes in heated booing as Kunoi drops vicious bombs on Xamot to end the match before the bell can even sound! However, The Bamboo Forest Demon ain't gonna have any of that! He tosses Kunoi off, sending the lightweight tumbling across the ring! Ishigami pops back to his feet and attempts to rush the demon, who cuts him off with a HUGE Yakuza kick to the sternum! Kunoi goes down hard, clutching his ribs!*

Crowd: *POP!!*

Ralph: NOT GOOD!

!!DING DING DING!!

Xamot vs. Kunoi Ishigami
Green Hell in a Cell

*The sounding of the bell is meaningly at this point, but regardless, the match is OFFICIALLY under way! Kunoi fights through the injury he sustained in his second match by Leona. He stands back to his feet, narrowly rolling out of the way of a second running kick from the Demon. Now with a chance to reverse the momentum, Kunoi snatches a lock around Xamot's neck, driving stiff knees into his chest!*

Bob: The tenacious Grand Champion delivering those famous knees to Xa—

*Xamot shrugs the strikes off, grabbing the Champion by the throat!*

Ralph: GOOZLE!

*He grabs Kunoi's leg with his other arm and launches the lightweight competitor into the ceiling of the Green Hell in a Cell structure! Kunoi's lifeless body falls down fifteen feet before coming making a sickening thud on the canvas below!*

Bob: Gorilla Press into the DAMNED CEILING!
Ralph: Yeah, Sasa got the right man for to soften Kunoi up...

*The Champion is grabbed by the hair and thrown across the ring, over the top rope and face first into the bamboo wall! Kunoi however, with brilliant presence of mind, latches onto the wall and back kicks Xamot as he approaches! Xamot staggers, and is blasted in the face with a second kick that THIS time sends him to the ground! The Champion balances on the top rope as he turns around.*

Kunoi: >=|!!

*Ishigami springboards off the top rope for the knee strike. But Xamot, showing frightening speed of his own ducks the high knee! Kunoi manages to land on his feet, but the SECOND he turns around, he's floored by Xamot's "Shadow Charge" shoulder block that sends Kunoi flipping backwards! The Champions head and neck hit the canvas before the rest of his body! The crowd collectively pop from the strike, standing out of their seats in adulation of Xamot.*

Bob: SICKENING shoulder block there!
Ralph: o_o They'd rather cheer a legitimate demon over Kunoi...

*Before Kunoi can recover, Xamot pulls the skinny bastard up from the canvas, dropping him back down immediately with a reverse DDT! Kunoi HEADSTANDS RVD style before the rest of his body goes limp and collapses to the canvas!*

Bob: Kunoi can't take too many more of those head drops!
Ralph: I have a feeling the boxing match is going to be a one rounder.

*Xamot tosses Kunoi between the ropes and the cell wall, propping up the half conscious champion as best he can...*

Bob: I don't like where this is going o_o...

*Now on the other side of the ring, Xamot takes a running start!*

Bob: NO!! NO!!

*He hits a YAKUZA KICK, Crushing Kunoi's head between his foot and the bamboo on the cell wall! The crowd gasps in horror, as Kunoi slowly slouches over into the corner!*

Ralph: HOLY SHIT!!
Bob: And Kunoi goes down o_o...

Sasa: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! THAT WAS AWESOME!! GOOD JOB XAMOT! ^___^ GOOD JOB!

Xamot: e_e..

*Xamot's not done with the Grand Champion, either. He remembers the time when Kunoi acted like he didn't know who he was.. TO THIS DAY he's been pissed off about that, and he's going to teach Ishigami a lesson in respect. His hand begins to glow dark pulsing energy*

Bob: He...
Ralph: HOLY SHIT HE'S GOING TO RIP OUT KUNOI'S SOUL O_O

*That's right. Xamot goes for his ULTIMATE finishing maneuver! He reaches for The Champion's chest, but Ishigami grabs the arm with both hands, struggling DESPERATELY to keep him away!*

Bob: KUNOI'S BLOCKING! XAMOT'S ONLY CENTIMETERS AWAY!

Kunoi: >_< !! FUCK.. YOU!

*Kunoi leaps into the air, wrapping his legs around Xamot's arm, FLIPPING the demon over and into the Cross Armbreaker!*

Bob: HE REVERSES INTO THE JUJIGATAME!
Ralph: I'm calling it right now, if Xamot taps Sasa's going to have a heart attack o_o.

*As much as the commentators would like to see that, it's not gonna happen! Xamot no sells the submission, stands up while Kunoi has the hold STILL locked, and grabs the Champion by the throat!*

Kunoi: O_O
Xamot: >=|!!

*The demon one handed tosses Kunoi into the ceiling once more, before catching Ishigami around the waist and DEMON PRESSING the poor bastard into the cage wall! The Destroyer staggers to the center of the ring as Xamot springs off of the ropes! With a half a second to spare, Kunoi hits a DESPERATION flying Abise kick! Xamot runs HEAD FIRST into Kunoi's knee! Both men rag doll to the canvas!*

Bob: After being crushed against two walls of the Cell, Kunoi still had enough gas to kick Xamot in the face when it would count the most!

Sasa: o_o w..what happened? Why is Kunoi still alive?!

*That kick did more than just surprise Xamot.. It made the demonic bastard BLOODY! He does NOT Approve!*

Xamot: .. I'LL KILL YOU! >=|
Kunoi: o_o..

*The Champion crawls towards the wall of the Cell, trying desperately trying to get the hell out of there!*

Bob: And now Kunoi attempting to escape the cage!
Ralph: Uhh.. I don't think so Bobby o_o

*Xamot grabs the champions neck, right as Kunoi manages to dislodge one of the Bamboo pipes from the structure!*

Kunoi: ARRRGGHHH!!

!!CRACK!!

*And with it, The Champion CLOBBERS Xamot right in the face!*

Bob: YOU'RE RIGHT! Taking a page out of Miko Mido, Kunoi is using part of the wall as a weapon!

*And now Xamot is bleeding PROFUSELY! Kunoi doesn't flinch, and instead, goes BATSHIT CRAZY with the bamboo stick, delivering a combo of strikes throughout the Demon's body!*

Bob: KUNOI GOING BERSERK!

*He wraps it around Xamot's throat, while locking his free arm underneath The Demon's arm.*

Kunoi: SSAAAASAAAA!!!

*Kunoi throws all of his weight behind him, executing the CHOKE SLEEPER SUPLEX!!*

Bob: CSS! CSS! CSS!
Ralph: *rubbing his own throat* =(

*Kunoi rolls Xamot up...*

Ref: 1......... 2.......... 3!!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: CHOKE SLEEPER SUPLEX OUTTA NO WHERE! KUNOI WINS!
Ralph: holy shit x_x

Sasa: ..........*twitch* GET OUT THERE. RIGHT NOW E_E NOW!!

Winner: Kunoi Ishigami x_x

*Kunoi remains motionless in the ring, as Several... o_o fat, un-athletic, pimply faced kids storm the ring!*

Ralph: Who the hell is this?!!?!

*On the kids shirts there's text that reads "30 STREET PONGS!" Kunoi, through his half lucid state sees the text...*

Kunoi: *sighs* >_< oh no..

!!WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!

*One of the kid shatters a SEGA GAME GEAR across The Destroyer's face!*

Kid: PAYBACK TIME, BITCH! >=|

Ralph: Was that.. A Game Gear?!
Bob: YES, AND THAT'S AN ATARI LYNX!!

!!SHATTTTTTTTTTTERRRRRRRRRRRR!!

Ralph: OH MY GOD!!!
Bob: I can't believe this! Sasa's enlisted a damn video game playing gang to assault Kunoi!! And now they're pulling the damn Cell wall down! Arming themselves with weapons!

*It gets worse, as Xamot is back to his feet as well. He goozles the now bloody Kunoi, lifting the poor bastard from the canvas and over his head, before choke slamming him right back down to the canvas! A pong then adds Injury to Injury, by striking Kunoi IN THE BALLS WITH THE BAMBOO STICK!*

Kunoi: *COUGHING UP BLOOD*

Kid: REMEMBER HIS STERNUM!

Kid 2: FINISH HIM OFF! >=|

*The ten man army bum rush The Champion with collective strikes from their Bamboo rods on the helpless Grand Champion, and there's NO ONE, NO ONE coming out to help him!*

Sasa: e_e Play time's over kids. Finish him off.

*Handcuffing Kunoi to the wall, The Pongs signal towards Xamot, who transforms into his full demon mode and RIPS the opposing wall from it's base!*

Bob and Ralph: ......

*Helpless, Kunoi can only stand there as he's CRUSHED IN BETWEEN BOTH WALLS!*

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH X_X

Bob: s..someone call 9-1-1... o_o

Sasa: ALRIGHT. E_E STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

Xamot: e_e..
Pongs: ...

Sasa: e_e Kunoi.. I'm not the monster everyone thinks I am.

Bob: YEAH RIGHT >_<

Sasa: And to prove it, I'm going to give you a final chance. If you hand your championship title over right now, I'll let you go home with your Japanese tail between your legs. You'll be able to curtain jerk in the UCTF for the rest of your career, or wrestle in any high school Gymnasium you want. ....e_e but if you don't. You won't have a career to waste away in the indys.

Kunoi: ...

Ralph: Just hand over the title Kunoi.. o_o it's not worth all this.

Kunoi: .....

*With his hand still bound to the wall by the handcuff, Kunoi STILL manages to raise his middle finger.*

Kunoi: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Sasa: ... >=|...

*Sasa gives Kunoi the thumbs down!*

Xamot: MEGALADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN!!!!

!!KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-FUCKING-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!

Everyone: D:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Xamot's full powered Ki attack Finishes Kunoi off! The Champion lies limp, only upright from the handcuffs that bound him to the cell wall. The very cell wall that finally crumbles under the devastation of Xamot's might and falls on top of Ishigami.*

Bob: ...........
Ralph: .........

*EMTs rush to Kunoi's aid!*

Sasa: *sits down* .. =3 mmm.. This champagne is good!

Everyone sitting around Sasa: .....................

Sasa: e_e HEY, GUYS IN THE VIDEO TRUCK. YEAH I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME. SINCE IT'S GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS THAT USED TO BE KUNOI ISHIGAMI. I WANT YOU TO LOOP WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO HIM.

Bob: X_x DO WE HAVE TO SEE THIS AGAIN!?

*INDEED WE DO! Thus begins a 15 minute loop of Xamot's "MEGALADON" ki attack... MEANWHILE--*

!!FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

Jeice: e_e come on girlie, where does Sasa have you hiding?

*The Orange Crusher scowers the city, frantically searching for the one person who's life depends on the outcome of the Main event!*

Arzie: Ladies and Gentlemen... the following contest is scheduled for one fall.. And it is for the UCTF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!

Ralph: Are you having trouble focusing after we watched fifteen straight minutes of Kunoi being crushed in between two walls?
Bob: Somewhat.
Ralph: ok, then it's not just me.

*"Counterfeit" by Limp Bizkit starts up first... and like Clockwork–*

Ralph: O_O ANOTHER RED-HEAD!! WOOHOO! She looks like one of those Karate, Magic Using chicks too! YES!!!!!!11111111111
Bob: ... trouble focusing, huh?

*Ralph might be a pervert, but he's a well researched Pervert! Gwen indeed IS a "Karate, Magic Using Chick" like none other!*

Arzie: Introducing first, Ben 10, and his cousin Gwen, making her UCTF Debut.. Collectively, they are TEAM TENNYSON!

Ralph: Team Hottie is more like it =3
Bob: Even Ben?
Ralph: NO! YOU'RE THE ONLY GAY ONE HERE, NOT ME! YOU! >=|
Bob: O_o

*"We Don't Care Anymore" by Story of the Year begins playing next...*

Arzie: And their opponents.... The Current UCTF Tag Team Champions... Bat-Girl and Talon, known collectively as DEAD SILENCE!

Ralph: And here come some more hotties. I don't even know what Bat-girl looks like under that cowl but I'm sure it's 100% AWESOMENESS!

*The Crimefighter from Gotham City and her Mutant colleague enter the squared circle with their championship titles around their waists.*

Bob: This Duo ended Bryan and BB's tag team reign, and this is their official first defense.. If you don't count April Fools Day, that is...
Ralph: Remember, it wasn't Bryan and BB they beat, It was Bryan and a BELT.
Bob: Indeed it was!

Team Tennyson vs. Dead Silence
UCTF Tag Team Championship

*The titles are relinquished to the time Keeper. After a short conversation, Bat-Girl decides to start against Gwen Tennyson. Both are highly trained martial artists in their own right.*

Ralph: Sweet! Both the girls start! Keep it that way! Keep Ben out of the ring! SCREW HIM!
Bob: ...
Ralph: But I digress! ^_^ This should be full of action!

!!DING DING DING!!

*Gwen and Bat-girl sprint towards each other in the center of the ring with the thousands of fans in attendance cheering them on. The Martial arts vixens put on a display of their respective styles, trading and parrying an array of lightning fast strikes and kicks.. Neither or which are able to land a hit on each other.*

Bat-Girl: You're good.
Gwen: I know >=)

*The confident Magician sweeps Bat-girl, who shows her athletic prowess, flipping backwards through a handspring and back to her feet. The moment she lands, Gwen is there, sending a palm strike towards The Caped Crusader's face. It's not fast enough! Bat-Girl parries and reverses the strike, sending the Red Head over her shoulder in a throw! Gwen flows with the energy, however, landing on her feet! He throws a heel kick! Bat-girl catches the foot!*

Gwen: O_O
Bat-Girl: but not good enough.

*She tosses Gwen across the ring by the leg, sending Tennyson crashing into the corner!*

Ralph: AWESOME!
Bob: Gwen got a little over confident there and paid for it!

Gwen: ughhh...

*Gwen is slapped on the back by her Cousin Ben, who climbs into the ring.*

Ben: >=| You loser. My Turn!

Bob: Ben tagging himself in!
Ralph: That snot nosed little punk >=\ So happy that he got a win over Xamot on the last Massacre! Yeah, do it as a human, jerk!

*Dialing into his Omnitrix, Ben turns into one of his favorite forms, The Tetramand "FOURARMS"*

Fourarms: Let's see you reverse THIS!

*The Tetramand blindly rushes towards Bat-girl, swinging all four arms in a furious fashion! Cassandra, using her superior speed, leaps, flips, and dodges the attacks!*

Fourarms: STAND STILL!
Bat-Girl: ...

*He charges in, AGAIN missing The Caped fighter! This time he crashes face first on the canvas!*

Gwen: You're doing much better.
Fourarms: SHUTUP GWEN!

*He turns to Bat-girl*

Fourarms: HAVE IT YOUR WAY! BIGGG SMACKKKKK!

!!KATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!

*Instead of attacking his target, Fourarms instead delivers an axe handle to the ring itself, causing a shockwave of energy through the first few rows of fans! EVERYTHING within it's radius, including his opponent, are knocked off of their feet! Now, with his opponent airborne, Ben transforms into the high speed alien XLR8, springing into the air and connecting a kangaroo style kick to Bat-Girl! He flips backwards several times, hits the ground, and delivers ANOTHER kick to Bat-girl before she lands, sending her into her own corner!*

Bob: JESUS CHRIST!
Ralph: What the hell was that?!
Bob: Whatever it was, it worked!
Ralph: This isn't fair! He's like 10,000 aliens in one! How the shit is that fair at all?!

*Bat-girl reaches behind her, slapping the hand of her Tag Team Partner, Talon. The cold calculating weapon leaps over the top rope. Silently staring into the eyes of XLR8.*

Ralph: See, this is the one I'm scared of the most.

Talon: ...*SNIKT*

Ralph: AND THAT'S WHY!

XLR8: o_o... Gwen... how sharp are those?

*X-23 charges him!*

Gwen: DIAMONDHEAD! NOW, IDIOT!
XLR8: SHITSHITSHITSHIT

*The Omnitrix transforms Ben into the Petrosapien Diamondhead the PRECISE moment Talon attacks with her adamantium claws! His near impenetrable hide takes the blades head on and don't flinch! Even Talon herself is surprised with the results!*

Talon: what?!
Diamondhead: ^___^ Diamond head. Get it?

*BLAM!*

*Diamond fists meet X-23s Adamantium skeleton!*

Bob: X-23 took that punch head on and only went down to one knee!
Ralph: She's tough as nails, Bob!

*She retracts her claws, and delivers an equally as powerful haymaker to Diamondhead's chin! The strike knocks him back a step! His eyes widen from surprise!*

Talon: Adamantium Skeleton. Get it? e_e

!!WHAM!!

*A roundhouse kick puts Diamondhead on his ass!*

Crowd: *POP!*

Diamondhead: ...uhh.. GWEN!

*Screw the rules! His cousin leaps onto the top rope, then leaps towards X-23, who kicks her right out of the sky! Diamondhead climbs back to his feet, grabbing the Weapon from behind! Not a good idea! She drives her Adamantium plated skull into his chin, knocking him out of his Diamondhead form and back into Ben Tennyson!*

Ben: X_X!

Ralph: *writing* ok, so Adamantium.... greater than Diamond... check.

*Seeing her cousin in grave danger, The black belt kicks X-23 in the back of the skull! This brings in Bat-Girl!*

Bob: This match is deteriorating!

*Armed with Batterangs, the Dark Knight's apprentice flings the weapons towards Gwen, who's magical luck ability guides helps her dodge the perfectly accurate flying weapons! The Batterangs fly past her, nailing Ben DIRECTLY in the face!*

Bob: GWEN'S LUCK IS BEN'S DETRIMENT! JESUS CHRIST!
Ralph: o_o Uh oh.

*Gwen flips towards Bat-Girl, and their renewed battle of Martial Arts supremacy is rekindled! However, payback's a bitch when Talon strikes Gwen in the back of the head with a roundhouse kick of her own!*

Bob: NOT GOOD FOR GWEN!

*Staggered, and sandwiched between the champs, Gwen falls victim to a simultaneous sweeping kick from Talon and High spinning kick from Bat-Girl!*

Ralph: TOTAL ELIMINATION BY THE TAG CHAMPS!!

*X-23 covers Gwen (is she even the legal man?! OH WELL)*

Ref: 1.......... 2........... 3!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: It's over! The tag team champions retain! Great showing by Team Tennyson but it's not enough!
Ralph: Aww.. =( Redhead...

*Replays show Gwen avoiding the batterangs which led to Ben being blasted in the face by them.*

Bob: And there's your turning point in the match up! Ben, knocked out of his diamond form is taken out by weapons meant for his cousin!

*Story of the Year's music plays as the Tag Champs are rewarded their Titles.*

Winners and STILL UCTF Tag Team Champions: Dead Silence

*Backstage, Kunoi Ishigami, who's miraculously still alive after the GANG STYLE BEATING he sustained at the hands of Xamot and the freaking 30 STREET PONGS is getting his fists taped up by Ric Austin. YES. THIS IDIOT IS STILL GOING TO GO THROUGH WITH THE MATCH.*

Ric: You don't have to go through with this o_o.

Kunoi: Just tape my hands up and shutup e_e.

"W..what are you DOING?!"

Kunoi: o_o.........

*Kunoi slowly turns around to see Miko Mido, The Former Two Time Grand Champion, and girlfriend standing behind him with a STERN look in her eyes.*

Miko: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!?

Kunoi: e_e What does it look like I'm doing.

Miko: You're about to go out there and get KILLED. That's what you're doing!

Kunoi: e_e Ric, you got everything ready?

Ric: yes sir.

Kunoi: Good. Let's go.

Miko: ...-_- Kunoi. Just this once. Lose.

Kunoi: e_e Let's go, Ric.

Ric: *sighs* >_<

*Over Anime City.*

!!!WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!

Jeice: >=|!

Bob: Ladies and Gentlemen, before our Main Event begins, let's take you back to a message Yugo Ogami sent to the UCTF...

*The screen then goes blank for a few seconds, and there was just... silence. Then it transits to a muted scene of Yugo practicing in some nearly dark gym in the middle of a boxing ring, honing his condition by jump-roping rapidly. The screen makes a close-up of Yugo's face, showing the determination on his eyes, and the sweat on his face. By this time, a male voice comes up in the background... Yugo's calm voice...*

"Maybe I shouldn't have come back. Maybe I should have stayed in Florida, working as a professional bodyguard. I left the UCTF the first time around because I had an overwhelming sense of failure, and even to this day, whenever I think back to my fights against Xion the Unborn, I felt my regrets. I should have fought harder. I should have defeated him once and for all..."

"Should have... should have... should have... should have..."

*After the two words repeated as an echo, a hammer sound interrupts, and the screen goes blank once more. After a few seconds of that, the image of Sasa Dark appears, appearing for the first time as a UCTF Benefactor and effectively in control of the organization, and Yugo Ogami stands with his arms crossed, looking tough. Yugo's voice reappears...*

"I came back as Sasa's bodyguard because he had a trump card. Alice."

*The screen then shows Alice and Yugo outside of the UCTF Arena years ago, walking together...*

"I have my regrets. I have my shame. I have experienced my share of failures. But... that ends now. It must end now because I cannot afford another failure. If I fail this time, then Alice's life will end tragically. I cannot allow that to happen... I must not let her blood run through my hands. But even with this resolve... I have my questions..."

"If I win, will Sasa keep his word and keep her alive?"

"Will Sasa let her free?"

"If I win, the Grand title belt will officially be mine... but I know deep in my heart that as long as the belt is around my waist, Sasa will have possession of it. Right now, the Grand Championship title is not my highest priority. My highest priority is to save Alice's life."

"That is all I care about... and all I care to strive for. To set her free. I personally don't care that Kunoi is the champion. I personally don't care that Sasa hates him and everyone else. He hates me as well, for he doesn't forget that time back in 2003 when I turned against him and punched his face while he was sitting on that wheelchair. I know he doesn't forget about that moment because he constantly reminds me about it off-camera. I know he hates my guts...."

".... But I simply want Kunoi Ishigami to know... I want the entire UCTF to know... if Alice's life wasn't in danger, I wouldn't have given a single care about this match. It is because of Alice's vulnerability that brought me back to the UCTF. It is for Alice that I became a hated person in the eyes of the fans all over again. It is for Alice's sake that I received verbal abuse from Sasa day in and day out. And it is for Alice that I must fight Kunoi as if my own life depends on it to win..."

"For if Alice dies... you won't see me again. That is why I must not fail... again."

*The image of Yugo slowly fades... and then the screen is blank... once more. Silence.*

Arzie: The following match will be contested under Marquis de Queensberry rules and is for the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting League's GRAAAAAAAAND CHAMPIONSHIP!

Ralph: This is it.. X_x this is it.
Bob: ..........

Arzie: The match will have five, three minute rounds. Introducing the Judges, first, special guest judge from South Korea... SEO TAI-JI!!

*The LEGENDARY Korean Singer easily gets the biggest ovation of the night!*

Ralph: The.. Ultramania guy?
Bob: HE'S NOT EVEN A FIGHTER! HE'S A SINGER! HOW IS HE GOING TO JUDGE THE MATCH FAIRLY!?!?

Arzie: The second Judge, from China... JET LIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

Bob: A CHINESE AND KOREAN JUDGE!
Ralph: o_o I.. Kinda want his autograph...
Bob: Ralph! Kunoi's been VERY vocal about how much he hates Chinese martial arts in the past!
Ralph: oh yeah, he's definitely screwed, but I want Jet's autograph...

Arzie: And the third... Hailing from Rio De Janeiro, Brazil... RICKSON GRACIEEEEEEE!!!!

Rickson: e_e..............

Ralph: ...oh shit.
Bob: YEAH. YOU SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?! THE BRAZILIANS HATE KUNOI TOO! >=|
Ralph: Well, looks like his only option is to knock Yugo Ogami out. o_o
Bob: And after the beating he took from his last three match ups, you think he has the punching ability to do that?!
Ralph: ...
Bob: YEAH. THAT ANSWER EXACTLY. SILENCE.

*Seo Tai-ji's "ULTRAMANIA" kicks up, bringing down Yugo Ogami! Forced to fight in order to save the woman he loves, Ogami slowly walks down the aisle silently. He is more focused than he's EVER been since joining the UCTF!*

Bob: Those are the eyes of a man who has everything to lose.
Ralph: I.. I don't know who to cheer for. Kunoi's been cheated at every turn here tonight, but... o_o but Yugo's girlfriend is gonna die if he loses.

*He climbs into the ring...*

Ralph: Something's got to be done about Sasa Dark. I can't believe he's put Yugo AND Kunoi in such tight positions x_x
Bob: Well.. All Kunoi has to do is hand over the title.
Ralph: There is that...
Bob: I mean, he'd never ever ever have a chance to get the title back o_o But..
Ralph: I don't think you're helping influence Kunoi to make the right choice here, Bob.

*"Water Pow" starts up AGAIN, and Out walks Kunoi Ishigami, flanked by The N.N.U.R's leader, Ric Austin! Wearing a traditional boxing robe patterned with the Imperial Japanese Flag, Ishigami SLOOOWWWLY makes his way down the aisle. The fans in the arena, surprisingly, aren't as angry to see his face after the amount of adversity he's had to over come tonight.*

Ralph: Kunoi, only by the grace of God himself is able to walk down to the ring.
Bob: I don't think you can call that walking.
Ralph: ok.. HOBBLING.
Bob: Exactly. He probably has a number of broken ribs, numerous more internal injuries. Maybe a ruptured Scrotum, but this stubborn idiot STILL wants to fight.
Ralph: Yeah, he probably has more injuries right now than the amount Jin Saotome lied and said he had by the end of his horrible career o_o.

*Both men now in the ring, Arzie performs his duties...*

Arzie: Introducing first, The Challenger.. Hailing from Tokyo, Japan.. He stands at 177 centimeters, and weighs in at 81 kilograms... he is the Wolf.. YUGO OGAMIIIIIII!!

*The crowd cheers for Yugo, who doesn't budge an inch.*

Yugo: e_e...

Arzie: And his opponent, hailing from Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan... standing at 178 centimeters, and weighing in at 76 kilograms... he is the Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting Platinum Grand Champion... The Destroyer.. KUNOIIIIIIIIIII ISHIGAMIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*Kunoi tries to raise his arm to prove that he's alright, but the pain in his ribs won't allow him to do it! He has the mobility of John McCain right about now!*

Arzie: The Senior Official, Glen Sanchos will now give his instructions to the competitors...

Glen: o_o... Kunoi. I saw what happened to you earlier. Do you still want to go through with this?

Kunoi: Oh, you want me to quit too? Why didn't Sasa just hire the asshole referee that cheated Mike Tyson out of his championship back in the 80s!? THIS IS FIXED!

Glen: Alright! Alright! Jesus H Christ! You want to fight, go ahead! Shit, I'll even be lenient! I'll let you get battered all up and down the ring like Rocky in part 4! That make you happy?!

Kunoi: e_e yep.

Glen: Just get to your damn corners and come out swinging when the bell rings. >=\

*The Fighters retreat to their corners...*

Kunoi Ishigami vs. Yugo Ogami
UCTF Grand Championship
Boxing Rules

Ric: YOU CAN ALWAYS GET A REMATCH, KUNOI!
Kunoi: e_e...
Yugo: ....

!!DING DING DING!!

Round 1

*Before the sound of the bell finishes resonating through the Arena, Ogami is half-way across the ring!*

Bob: ROUND ONE BEGI—

*The Prize Fighter delivers a stiff blow directly to Kunoi's with a right! Kunoi begins to double over, and sticks his chin out in the perfect position to be murdered with a brutal right within the span of a half second! The champ buckles and goes down to an explosion of cheers from the completely partisan crowd!*

Bob: KUNOI'S DOWN! KUNOI'S DOWN! KUNOI'S DOWN!
Ralph: AMAZING, NEW GRAND CHAMPION!
Bob: ... e_e
Ralph: LMFAO YES. YES, AFTER TEN YEARS I FINALLY GET ONE!

*Ralph speaks a little too soon, as much to the surprise of everyone in the Arena, Kunoi gets back up!*

Kunoi: e_e.... That all you got?!
Yugo: ...e_e...

Ralph: D:!!

*The Silent Wolf goes right back on the attack, pummeling the Grand Champion with a rush of body blows focused right on The Destroyer's injured sternum! Kunoi can only cover up and take the punches like a man!*

Bob: Yugo unleashing a crazed string of body blows on the champion! Perfect strategy after being softened up in that area by Leona earlier in the night!

*Kunoi tries desperately to throw to fight back, throwing wild, desperate haymakers aimed at The challengers face. The pain of three previous matches obviously clouding his usual precise and vicious striking ability as Yugo easily slips under each swing and quickly counters with jabs to the body!*

Bob: Kunoi on the ropes early in this match! He's already been knocked down once and is dangerously close to going down here!
Ralph: And the only way he's going to win this boxing match is by Knockout.. These Judges aren't going to give him ANY leeway!

*Yugo ducks a right cross attempt and punishes Ishigami with a left hook!*

Bob: LEFT HOOK!
Ralph: JESUS!
Bob: Kunoi cannot take many more of those!

*Retreating, Kunoi swings another wild right, Yugo bobs underneath and UPPERCUTS the champion! The Destroyer staggers backward, allowing Yugo to spring forward, hook punching him in the in the jaw right as the time runs out in the first round!*

Ralph: oh my God.
Bob: I don't know how, but Kunoi survived the first round! He does it without landing a single offensive move in the entire three minutes!

*Replays show the MURDEROUS body blow, uppercut in the opening seconds of the first round that put Kunoi down!*

Bob: Without question the first round goes to Yugo, and if he has another one like that, I can definitely see him winning this match within three!

*In Kunoi's corner...*

Ric: uhh.. o_o... You sure you want to continue after that?

Kunoi: e_e...

Ric: He's KILLING you out there, and that's just round one of TWELVE. You're going to get killed out there. Like.. Literally. Like that guy in Pulp Fiction that Butch slaughtered o_o

Kunoi: He's going to have to kill me to win the championship.

Ric: D:...

Glen: LET'S GO!

*Ishigami literally has to drag himself from the bench! Yugo, who's been stone faced this entire around slowly stands up.*

!!DING DING DING!!

Round 2

*This time, Kunoi rushes in for the attack! NOT A GOOD IDEA. He tries a straight jab, only for Yugo to step backwards, avoiding the strike, and immediately leaning back in with a punch to the gut! When Kunoi's body instinctively covers up, Yugo delivers harsh jabs to the to the bridge of the champions nose!*

Yugo: >=|!!

*The wolf delivers a strong one two to the face, strikes The Destroyer's sternum, then follows up with another nasty uppercut! Kunoi staggers backwards into the corner, where Yugo opens up a can with a 9 hit body blow combination with ONE arm!*

Bob: This match is starting to look like the Simpson/Tatum Massacre of 1996!
Ralph: I highly doubt anyone's going to be swooping in with a Paramotor and saving Kunoi o_o

Kunoi: ARRGHHH!!

*Kunoi attempts to battle his way out of the Corner with a wild swing! This is another mistake that will soon haunt The Grand Champion, who gets caught right in the LIVER with a devastating hook! Kunoi folds up, before falling flat on his face on the canvas! Nauseated, The Champion fights back from vomiting on himself, while attempting to put his mouth piece back in.*

Bob: KNOCK DOWN! KNOCK DOWN!

Glen: o_o Kunoi... Y..You're done, man.
Kunoi: END THIS MATCH AND I'LL KILL YOU.
Glen: >_< ...

*Kunoi pulls himself to his knees, before slowly standing back up.. The referee gives him a standing 8 count..*

Glen: Kunoi =(
Kunoi: e_e Out of the way.

*When the referee signals for the fight to continue, Yugo rushes in, almost taking Ishigami's head OFF with a right cross!*

!!WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!

Crowd: *TURNS THEIR HEADS* X_X

Bob: SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!!

*Kunoi staggers backwards....*

Everyone: ....

Kunoi: ARRRGHHH!!

!!WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMM!!

*Kunoi tries to swing again, but is beaten to th e punch, LITERALLY with a strike that has Yugo putting his ENTIRE body weight behind it!*

Bob: A SECOND, EVEN MORE POWERFUL PUNCH FROM YUGO!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And the round is MIRACULOUSLY over for Ishigami! Another offense-less round for the Grand Champion!
Ralph: I'm surprised this fight hasn't stopped already, but if Kunoi does not do any better in this next round, You'd have to imagine Glen Sanchos, or one of these NON-PARTISAN judges are going to have to intervene!
Bob: Indeed.

*In Kunoi's corner.*

Ric: Kunoi... o_o You have to stop this. You get anymore head shots like you have in the last two rounds, I'm afraid I'm going to receive some text messages about a "family emergency"

Kunoi: e_o..he...he's got to be getting tired, At least.

Ric: uhh.. No.. No he's not. Look at him.

*Across the ring.*

Yugo: e_e...

Ric: HE'S NOT EVEN SWEATING YET.

Kunoi: ...

Glen: Kunoi. e_e I'm dangerously close to ending this match. You have another round like the last, and it's over. You hear me?!

*Kunoi feels every acting joint.. Every bruised rib, every sore part of his body, and thinks about everything that Sasa's not only put him through tonight, but for the past few MONTHS. He slowly turns and looks towards "The Benefactor's" expensive box office seats, where him and his Korean buddies are all watching, laughing at him.. Shit, they're already celebrating the title change. He's beginning to grow so much in anger that his heart feels like it's going to rip itself from his chest.*

Sasa: ^___^ *FLIPS HIM OFF*

Kunoi: >=|!!

!!DING DING DING!!

Round 3

Bob: Round Three Underway! Kunoi will have to win all of the remaining rounds to retain his Championship!
Ralph: Highly Unlikely...

*The match begins just as the previous round ended, with Ogami unleashing unanswered jabs right to The Destroyer's forehead!*

Kunoi: Arugh!! OOFFHH!!

Glen: KUNOI I'M ABOUT TO END THIS MATCH IF YOU DON'T FIGHT BACK! >=|

*Kunoi returns fire with an uppercut of his own. Yugo sidesteps the wild throw, and BLASTS Kunoi in the face with an overhand right!*

Ralph: OH MY GOD!
Bob: Yugo may be closing in on the Grand Championship here!

*Kunoi stumbles forward, as Yugo takes a large step backwards. Ogami draws in as much air as his lungs can contain.. He focuses on his opponent, preparing to finish the Champion with this final combination!*

Yugo: ....

*Taking a page out of Mr. Sandman's play book, Ogami rushes into the Champion with a powerful Right Uppercut, Left Uppercut, and then a final RIGHT Uppercut to the jaw!*

Bob: DREAMLAND EXPRESS combination by Yugo! Kunoi is staggered!

*And then it happens. Kunoi can smell the odor of Ralph's Fried Chicken all the way at the entrance of the Grand Arena... he can hear the crying little girl in the 34th row in the nosebleed section. He can feel the wind hitting every single follicle of hair on his body. His heart rate has now exceeded the three hundred beats for second mark, and his epidermis has hardened.*

Yugo: It's over, Kunoi.

Kunoi: ................

*Everything around The Grand Champion, including the opponent he just spent 7 and a half minutes getting beaten by, moves at an extremely slow, snail moving pace! The Champion easily side steps the strike before Yugo can even fully swing, and MURDERS the almost completely still Challenger with one of the strongest left hooks he's EVER thrown! Before Yugo even realizes Kunoi has dodged the strike, HE'S ON THE DAMN CANVAS!*

Yugo: ...o_o...

Everyone: D:!!!

Ralph: WHAT THE HELL?!
Bob: KUNOI WITH A KNOCK DOWN! HIS FIRST PUNCH AND HE KNOCKS YUGO DOWN!
Ralph: I DIDN'T EVEN SEE HIM MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!

Sasa: ..........................................................

*Ogami climbs back to his feet...*

Glen: Yugo, look at me! Are you alright?
Yugo: ..yeah.
Glen: Are you sure?!
Yugo: *GROWL*
Glen: ok. o_o you're sure. Let's go!

*Yugo shakes off the bone crushing hook, meeting the Grand Champion in the center of the ring.*

Yugo: >=|
Kunoi: >=|

*The fight continues, with Kunoi now the aggressor!*

Bob: Kunoi moving so fast there's a LITERAL blur behind him! Yugo, now fighting to survive here in this third round of action!

*Kunoi has Yugo against the ropes, DOMINATING the Challenger with the famed "Dempsey Roll" technique that Yugo himself used against Kunoi in the first round! NOTHING the Zoanthrope can throw lands on The Destroyer, who's somehow found his third or fourth wind of the night, crushing the boxer with stiff hooks and uppercuts all over the body!*

Ralph: ...
Bob: KUNOI NOW IN FULL CONTROL OF THIS ROUND!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: Round three over! That one HAS to go to Kunoi!
Ralph: It was like that last uppercut from Yugo set him off somehow o_o

*In the box*

Sasa: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT DUMB ANIMAL DOING?! KUNOI SHOULD BE KNOCKED OUT RIGHT NOW! I SHOULD BE WEARING THE GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP AROUND MY WAIST RIGHT. NOW! >=|

*From his bench, Kunoi HEARS Sasa's rant. He slowly turns around...*

Kunoi: ..........e_e....
Sasa: o_o...

!!DING DING DING!!

Round 4

*Yugo goes right into the offensive with several shots aimed at Kunoi's kidneys. Ishigami's body adapts quickly, hardening its skin to absorb as much of the boxer's impact, while allowing Kunoi to fight back with strikes that grow in strength with every blow! Yugo tries to bob and weave, but Kunoi counters as if he knows where Ogami is planning to do before Ogami does! Every dodge, every slip is caught and punished by the newly powered Grand Champion!*

Bob: This match has suddenly become all Ishigami! He won't quit! He won't go down!
Ralph: I don't understand what's happening here o_o

*Yugo tries to force his way, aggressively lunging in, but is immediately check hooked by Kunoi! Yugo continues forward after being knocked off balance and falls face first into the turnbuckle! Yugo's eyes begin to glow with frustration!*

Sasa: *SLAPS HIS FOREHEAD* X_X WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

Crowd: YUGO! YUGO! YUGO! YUGO! YUGO! YUGO! YUGO! YUGO! YUGO! YUGO! YUGO! YUGO! YUGO! YUGO!

*The crowd, still FIRMLY behind Yugo, wills him to rush back in, taking the brunt of a Jab to the face, but responding with a powerful bolo punch that successfully knocks Kunoi off balance.*

Bob: Yugo might have Kunoi here!

*Kunoi finds himself in the corner, where Yugo quickly follows up with some of his STRONGEST hooks he can muster! Kunoi eats the punches like a man, and responds with a stiff uppercut to Ogami!*

Bob: But Kunoi battling back!

*Kunoi jabs his way out of the corner as his speed begins to dramatically increase again! He's so fast that after a missed punch by Yugo, Kunoi manages to get BEHIND the seasoned veteran! Yugo turns around with wide eyes, and falls prey to a NASTY corkscrew like punch to the face! This cuts Ogami's cheek open, sending the #1 contender REELING backwards, with a stream of blood flying out of the ring!*

Bob and Ralph: OH MYGOD O_O

*Ogami staggers, and takes a knee!*

Bob: Ogami down again! Kunoi still trying to strike!

*His roots in MMA, Kunoi attempts to deliver another punch, but Glen Sanchos pushes the champion into a neutral corner, inadvertantly giving Ogami time to recover from the DEVASTATING shot to the face!*

Bob: Yugo back to his feet thanks to Kunoi's over zealousness here!

!!DING DING DING!!

Bob: And round four is over!
Ralph: Kunoi might have cost himself the match up just now!
Bob: I agree, but there's NO QUESTION that Round 4 was Ishigami! This match is suddenly VERY close, and Round Five is more important than ever!

*Yugo senses his chances slipping from his hands, and with that, the life of the woman he loves. Desperation begins to set in as he sits down on his bench in the corner...*

Yugo: ............

*He stares down Kunoi, who stares a hole right back into him...*

Ric: Kunoi.. I ... You can't go through with this. If you beat him...

Kunoi: e_e Ric, SHUTU–

Ric: NO YOU SHUTUP! >=|

Kunoi: ...

Ric: DON'T YOU FUCKING REALIZE WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU BEAT YUGO?! A LITTLE GIRL DIES. SHE FUCKING DIES. THIS ISN'T ABOUT COMPETITION ANYMORE YOU IDIOT. A LIFE IS LITERALLY AT STAKE HEAR, SO IF YOU HAVE ANY CONSCIOUS IN YOUR FUCKING BODY, YOU'LL STOP BEING SUCH A SELFISH PIECE OF SHIT FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODDAMN LIFE AND LOSE THIS MATCH!

Kunoi: o_o

Ric: Fuck this. e_e <^> I'm leaving. I'm not having any part of this.

*Ric drops the spit bucket and walks up the ramp, DISGUSTED with Kunoi Ishigami! Meanwhile, in the box section of the Grand Arena, Sasa is on his cell phone, screaming to an Reiji over his cell phone.. This CAN'T be good.*

Sasa: GET READY, REIJI. I HAVE A FEELING THIS IDIOT'S GOING TO YUGO IS GOING TO LOSE THIS MATCH. >=|

Reiji: uhh... There seems to be a problem, with that.

Sasa: ..what? Problem?

*Across the city.*

Reiji: Yeah. Problem.

*The ceiling to the safehouse has been destroyed, and floating above The Crow Zoanthrope, Reiji is...*

Jeice: ...e_e...

*BACK IN THE ARENA*

!!DING DING DING!!

Round 5

*Yugo and Kunoi slowly walk toward each other...*

Yugo: I can't let you leave here with that belt.
Kunoi: ...
Yugo: You hear me?! I'M NOT GOING TO LET ALICE DI—RRRRRGHGHHH!!

*Ki energy explodes around Yugo, transforming the Boxer into The Wolf!*

Kunoi: shit.

Bob: Yugo now in full beast form!!
Ralph: This.. This should be interesting!

*Yugo, with his strength and speed now doubled leaps towards The "UPGRADED" Destroyer! All strategy has now been thrown out the window, as the professional fighters simply throw GIANT haymakers at each other in the center of the ring!*

Yugo: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Kunoi: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

*Both fighters land a double right cross cleanly on each other's chins!*

!!THHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!

*Reiji FLIES through what used to be the wall of the safehouse, and across several busy streets! He transforms into his Crow form, halting in mid air. Jeice follows, blasting toward him with a cold, determined glare in his eyes!*

Reiji: CAAAAAAWWWWW!!! >=|!!!!! YOU DARE ATTACK ME, JANITOR?!

Jeice: >=| THAT'S ONLY TEMPORARY POSITION!!!!!!!! HAAAAAAAAAA!!

*They collide in the sky over the city. Jeice's Ground and Pound style meets Reiji's Flying Tae Kwon do technique, while innocent Bystanders watch below!*

Bob: WE'RE WITNESSING AN AWESOME DISPLAY OF SHEER WILL!

*The crowd has gone silent as both men simply TRADE STRAIGHT BLOWS to the face!*

!!WHAM!!

Yugo: >_e!!

!!KAPOW!!

Kunoi: X_e!!!

Bob: IT'S ALL ABOUT WHO WANTS IT MORE! WHO NEEDS IT MORE! IT CAN'T LAST MUCH LONGER!

Sasa: YUGO YOU SON OF A BITCH! FINISH HIM OFF!

!!SLICE!!

Jeice: ARRRGGHHH!!

*Reiji claws at The Orange Crusher's eyes, followed by a drilling kick, pushing off like a springboard into the night sky. Jeice recovers, barely managing to hover above the innocents below, as he watches The Crow attempt to escape! He won't allow that to happen.*

Jeice: OH HELL NO! >=|

*He lifts his arm into the sky...*

Jeice: CRUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

*His ki glows red, before he volley's the ball towards Reiji*

Jeice: BALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

Reiji: O_O!!

*The Crow BARELY avoids being incinerated, as the attack flies past him! The stray ball of energy flies higher into the atmosphere... RIGHT INTO THE PATH OF A 757!*

Jeice: OH SH--

!!KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!

*It clips the ring, reducing it to rubble, and sending the plane itself into a spin!*

Jeice: D:!!!!!!
Reiji: ...>=]

*Reiji swoops down, landing on top of a moving bus.*

Reiji: NO WONDER WHY YOU WENT FROM THE PRESIDENT TO A JANITOR! YOU'RE BORN TO BE A LOSER!

*He grabs the Bus Driver by the throat, and TOSSES him out of the moving vehicle! Now with no one to steer the bus, it speeds down the busy street of Anime City out of control.*

Reiji: >=D HAVE FUN DECIDING WHO LIVES OR DIES!

Jeice: YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!

*The Crow flies off, and unfortunately, Jeice now has bigger fish to fry! Back in the ring... The Wolf murders Kunoi with an uppercut!*

Yugo: GO.

*LEFT HOOK*

Yugo: DOWN!!

*OVERHAND RIGHT*

Bob: KUNOI'S BUCKLING!!

Kunoi: .... >=|

*The Destroyer from Sapporo's heart rate increases! Around the Grand Champion, an aura begins to emit from his body. It is then, that Yugo begins to revert from his Beast form.*

Yugo: What the?!

Ralph: uh oh..
Bob: Kunoi.. Kunoi's somehow.. DAMPENING Yugo's power?!

Kunoi: ...e_e.. No.

!!THHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*He delivers a powerful strike DEAD on Yugo's chin!*

Bob: KUNOI WITH A DEVASTATING RIGHT CROSS!
Ralph: ...

*Backstage*

Miko: Kuroi.. -_-

!!!!!!!KAAAAAAAAATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

*A Corkscrew left, almost snaps Yugo's neck! The Boxer's hands drop to the sides, Ogami barely able to stand.*

Bob: KUNOI NOW WITH A LEFT!!

Sasa: *stands up* ..........

!!!!!!!!!!!!THHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!

*An Overhand Right connects, sending Yugo THROUGH the second rope and onto the Judges table!*

!!DING DING DING DING DING DING!!

Everyone: D:.............................................

Ralph: ...I don't get to say Amazing, New Grand Champion.
Bob: Neither do I.

Sasa: ........................................

Winner and STILL (X______X) UCTF Grand Champion: Kunoi Ishigami

*"Water Pow" kicks up AGAIN. As the Referee raises Kunoi's hand in victory! It doesn't last long, however...*

Sasa: STOP THE.SDFASDFLKJ STOP THE FUCKING MUSIC!! >=| WHAT IN GOD'S NAME?!!? SDLFAJSDFD I DID EVERYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE. E_E EVERYSDFSDFSDFDFHGHYHJTJHG

Ralph: Yeah, he's blown a gasket...

Sasa: >=| YUGO! I WARNED YOU. I. WARNED. YOU.

Bob: o_o no..
Ralph: He's .. He's not going to go through with it. HAH! Yeah. ^_^ He's crazy, but he's not a murdering psychopath.

Sasa: So Yugo, if both of your eyes aren't completely swollen shut, TAKE A LOOK AT THE JUMBOTRON. E_E

*The Jumbotron quickly switches to a shot of Alice Tsukagami staring directly into the camera. With tears in her eyes, she gives a weak grin, as Reiji lands behind her. The mystical powers of the room revert him back into his human state, but that, unfortunately doesn't matter.*

Yugo: >_< NO!! NO!!

Sasa: e_e Do it.

Kunoi: o_o ...SASA DO--

*Without a change of emotion in his face, Reiji quickly grabs Alice's delicate head, and breaks her neck with a stoic stare.*

Everyone: D:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob and Ralph: D:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kunoi: ...................

Yugo: .................

Sasa: ^___^ HAVE A NICE DAY EVERYONE! HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME TONIGHT!

*The Benefactor turns around to leave the box seats. The entire Arena watches on in a collective hush. Kunoi, realizing... FINALLY REALIZING what he's done bellows out a scream that shakes the Foundation of the Grand Arena!*

Kunoi: SASA..

Sasa: hmm? =3

Kunoi: ...I..I'm coming up there, and I'm going to kill you.

Sasa: mmm. I was hoping you'd say that.

*Just then, HUNDREDS of Men in Ninja Guys begin to rain down onto the Grand Arena from the box seats, while many others take positions on the ledges of the open air dome. More and more begin to fill into the arena, all surrounding the beaten and bloody Yugo and Kunoi.*

Sasa: ^___^ That's why I hired new Bodyguards. SAY HELLO TO THE HAND, GUYS!

Kunoi: ...uh oh.

Sasa: ^___^ Kill them.

*The Ninjas swoop in to attack Yugo and Kunoi!*

Ninjas: ...>=| AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Elsewhere, Jeice sets the 757 plane down. He looks over at the patrons inside the bus as they all leave safely...*

Jeice: ...I..I am a loser.

You can say that again.

Jeice: ....

*Jeice turns around...*

Vegeta: ..... It's time to take the UCTF back..

End.