*The scene opens with Vegeta shadow boxing in his office.. a few moments later, THE FAN bursts into the door unannounced! Luckily, Vegeta’s not in the killing mood tonight, so he doesn’t big bang attack his ass to another dimension!*
Fan: THE FAN WANTS TO KNOW WHY.. WHY DOESN’T HE HAVE HIS PROMISED MAIN EVENT MATCH WITH THE FAN-GIRL? THE FAN THINKS VEGETA IS AFRAID THAT THE FAN WILL BECOME.......BIGGER THAN THE UCTF!
Vegeta: will you get out of my office? Hystalin fired Kris Anderson, haven’t heard from her since. YOU LOST your main event damnit!
Fan: >=| The fan doesn’t appreciate your tone! You can bet your bottom dollar that you’ll hear from the Fan AGAIN!
Vegeta: ..... I’m sure you will. Ryu Kaisa wanna be mutha...
*Next, we see BB Hood in her locker room staring in the mirror.. we can hear the crowd in the background marking out.. especially when Shawn Shane Shields walks into the room!*
Shawn: Hey, BB.. Good luck against Kurt tonight, everyone in the back are rooting for you!
BB: thanks.. >=|... *looks in the mirror*
Shawn: o_o uhh.. I’ll just see my way out. I have a match against Jean Paul Levesque. >:]
*He leaves*
BB: >:|..... O_o.... Jean Paul?!
Bob: It’s time for our Third Annual April Fools Day Pay Per View! I’m Bobby Hinden, along side my collegue
Ralph: Ralph Gerrard! This as always been, and always will be my Favorite event! You know why!?
Bob: why?
Ralph: because last year, I defeated Janne in the Middle of the ring!!
Bob: X_X How did I know? Well, don’t expect to be in a serious mood at ANY time during this event.. all of these matches have been set up for pure comedy purposes only!
Ralph: Let’s just look at the main event... the HANSEL AND GRETEL MATCH?!
Bob: That’s right! Dominique Cross and Adrienne Aino WILL finish their fued tonight, everything in the ring will be made from candy!
*Before The real event starts, “Serial Thrilla” begins playing, drawing a mixture of boos and cheers from the marks in the crowd! Jeice isn’t here to fight, but here to commentate!*
Jeice: >:]!
Ralph: Jeice!!
Bob: I guess an April Fools Day Card wouldn’t be the same without the Orange Crusher!
*He floats into the tower and takes a headset*
Jeice: Hey Guys! Let’s get down to some business tonight!
Ralph: Alright! Someone not as boring as Bobby Boy over here!
Bob: >=|! Let’s go to our first match... the EATING CONTEST!
Jeice: oh no! and I came here on an empty stomach >_< damnit!
Kakarott vs. Aisha
*First off, the Lovely, yet Leathal Ctarl-Ctarl Princess, Aisha Clan-Clan makes her way down to the ring, which of course.. receives GREAT responses from the male crowd!*
Ralph: KITTIES!!!
Jeice: nice kitties @_@
Bob: ~_~ Two color commentators... not fair..
Jeice: DID YOU CALL ME COLORED?!
Bob: X_X Let’s just concentrate on this match damnit!
*She steps in the ring, crosses her arms and waits for her opponent!*
Jeice: now here comes my boy! Former IG and Tag team champion!
Bob: There’s actually live video feed of how Kakarott prepared for his match against Aisha!
Ralph: I can’t wait to see this!
*Back at the ruins of what used to be old Ginyu Force “HQ” We see Vegeta and Kakarott walking down
the stairwell to the basement*
Kakarott: What are we doing back here for Veggie?
Vegeta: Well, I forgot to tell you about a Ginyu Force Reunion all of the boys are having
Kakarott: really?!
Vegeta: oh yeah, and we’re going to have a HUGE feast too!
Kakarott: O_O!! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!
Vegeta: heh.. you’rE right.. after you. *KICKS KAKAROTT IN THE ASS*
Kakarott: X_X!!!!!!!
*Kakarott goes flying into the basement! Out of no where, Acrapha leaps from behind Vegeta and turns the basement into a hidden barrier!*
Kakarott: VEGGIE!! NOT AGAIN!!
Vegeta: >:]... have fun for the next TWO months!
*“Dragon Power” begins playing over the arena as Trunks wheels Kakarott out again like he’s hannibal lector, complete with mouth gaurd!*
Kakarott: @_@!!!
Trunks: Goku! calm down! You’re gonna get fed in just a few minuts!
Kakarott: *GROWLS!*
Aisha: Meo..w? o_o
*Now that they’re in the ring... a dozen workers rush down to the ring, each pushing wheel barrells full of food! After they all surround the ring!*
Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman, this match will take place in “Hungry Hungry Hippos” format! The clock will be set to 5 minutes, the winner is the individual who eats the most burgers that are wrapped in color coded paper! Kakarott will be red, and Aisha Clan Clan’s will be pink! The special guest referee for this match will be non other than the owner of Wendy’s... Dave Thomas!
Crowd: *POPS!*
*Dave walks down to the ring getting a HUGE ovation!*
Ralph: wow, Dave has the biggest reception of the night!
Bob: Must be the burgers!
Jeice: or that hot red haired daughter of his H_H
Announcer: each burger will be filtered through these air vents, four will only be sent at a time! The contestant MUST completely chew and swallow the burger before another is filtered through! Now that both contestants are ready, let the eating contest begin!
Crowd: YAAAAY!!!!
!!DING!!
Kakarott: HAAAAAA!!!!!
*Right as that bell sounds, Kakarott powers up to Super Saiya-jin 2! His restraints are burnt to a crips! He grabs two burgers out of the machine at once, rips em open and lets them fall into his mouth at the same time!*
Aisha: O_O!!! >=|!
*Aisha rips off her top and goes to work on her burgers as well! She’s using the “Slingshot” technique with the wrapping paper! Burgers are flying all over the place!*
Bob: This is amazing!!
Jeice: I know! No kool-aid to go with the burgers!!
*They go neck and neck non stop for two minutes! More and more Wendy’s employees rush down to the ring with more wheelbarrels of food! Dave’s eyes are turning green from seeing all the money flow into his pocket!*
Aisha & Kakarott: *RIP INTO EM!*
*It’s right down the middle! It looks like neither of these two hungry SOBs are going to give up anytime soon.. until the impossible happens! Kakarott’s Burger machine gets stopped up! No more burgers filter down to the legendary saiyan, and he looks PISSED!*
Kakarott: >:|!?!?!?! HEY!!
*All the while, Aisha hasn’t slowed down at all! Her lead over Kakarott is now ENORMOUS! All he can do is stand there and watch pathetically!*
Kakarott: >=(!!
Employees: o_o *shrugs*
*In Vegeta’s office*
Vegeta: DAMNIT KAKAROTT! You’re not even good enough to eat a decent meal now?!! *sighs* I have to do everything Myself!
*Vegeta picks up his cell phone and makes a quick call*
Vegeta: yeah. It’s about the “Don’t make a fool out of the Saiyan Race” plan again.. Action B.
*In the crowd.. someone puts down their cell phone, and gives Aisha a glare before standing up to his feet! Suddenly, he grabs his collar, and RIPS his shirt off, revealing a SICK and disgusting beer belly! The catgirl catches an eye full and almost PUKES!! It’s so disturbing, that she falls flat on her face! On the other hand, Kakarott’s machine starts working again!*
Kakarott: ALRIGHT!!
*Now he’s not even bothering to take the PAPER off! He sticks his mouth directly on the pipe and just INHALES! The suction picks up all of the burgers from the barrells and right into his belly!*
Dave: Anymore Burgers for Kakarott?
Employee: that’s it!
Dave: Ring the bell!
!!DING DING!!
Jeice: LOL!! I think we have a winner!
Announcer: The winner of this match by 100 burgers.. Kakarott!!
Crowd: POPS!!
Bob: aww.. that’s too bad for Aisha.. what an honor for her though! Her debut match is against a saiyan!
Ralph: She’ll bounce back from it.
*Kakarott looks upset that there’s no more burgers for him.. so he turns around, jumps over the top rope, and devours AISHA’S burgers!*
Aisha: .>_< o_o.. >:|!!
*She comes to, and sees deprived old man eating HER free food! This pisses her off to no end!*
Aisha: THAT’S MY FOOD!! GRRRRRR!!!!!!
*She begins SO intensely pissed off, that she turns into a damn wolf! Kakarott let’s the halfway uneaten burger fall out of his mouth, and he runs his ass off through the crowd with Aisha right behind him!*
Ralph: LOL!!
Bob: What a great finish for our opening match! But uhh.. what about all those left over burgers?
*Ralph and Jeice look at each other*
Ralph: I’LL BE RIGHT BACK!
Jeice: I’LL GET THE FRUITOPIA!!
Winner: Kakarott
Vegeta: oh yeah! >:]....... Time to whip that old wrinkley sack of shit once and for all. Secretary, hold all my calls. I’ll be back in five to ten minutes.
*He finishes taping his fists and looks at his little brochure*
Vegeta: >:]...... Mongolia is where he wants to fight.. then that’s where we’ll fight.
*Vegeta jumps out the window and blasts off!*
Shaft vs Ash
Bob: and now-
Jeice: NOW it's time for the BEST DAMN FIGHT OF THE NIGHT! >:|! MY BOY SHAFT IS GONNA THROTTLE THAT PRETTY BOY ASH!
Ralph: Pretty Boy!!?
Jeice: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WATCH!!! >:|!!
*The arena lights dim, and a 70's funk beat starts playing over the sound system!*
Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?
SHAFT!
You're daaaaamn right.
*Shaft comes out behind the curtain, to a huge pop from the crowd! Meanwhile, Jeice is up on the desk, dancing and cheering! He even starts to sing along!*
Jeice: Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man......SHAFT! Can ya dig it!?!? ^___^!!
*Shaft makes his way down the ramp, and into the ring*
Who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about....
SHAFT!
Right on.
*His music is cut off by the sound of a chainsaw revving!*
Shaft: >:|!
Jeice: WHAT THE FUCK!?!?? >:|!!!
*Through the curtain, comes the one-handed, chainsaw swinging, one-liner spurting manic, Ash!*
Ash: >:)... Grooooooovy....
*He hold up his shotgun, saws off the end, and sticks it in his holster! He comes down to the ring, jumps up on the apron, and instead of going through or over the ropes, he just CHAINSAWS them and walks into the ring!*
*DING, DING, DING!*
*Shaft just STANDS there as Ash revs his chainsaw*
Shaft: =|
Ash: Alright you inner-city screwhead... come get some...>:)
*Shaft doesn't say anything! He just takes out his pistol and shoots Ash's Chainsaw, making it sputter and jam!*
Ash: O_O!
Jeice: OH, FUCK YEAH!!!
*As Ash is trying to get the chainsaw started again, Shaft walks over, and punches him right in the mouth!*
Ash: FUCK! You lit-
Shaft: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
*He kicks Ash in the gut, and Ash falls out of the ring through where he cut out the ropes! He hits the ground hard, which knocks his chainsaw off of his arm! Ash walks onto the apron, and waits for Ash to get up!*
Ash: >_o...
*He then SPLASHES Ash with a flying cross body block! Ash falls like a sack of shit!*
Ash: X_X....>:|!!
*Ash gets up, and points his boomstick at Shaft!*
Ash: Bye-bye...
*But, Shaft kicks the shotgun out of Ash's hands! It flies up through the air, and he catches it! He then BENDS the damn thing with his bare hands!*
Jeice: *SWOONS*
*Ash, not knowing WHAT to do, just charges at Shaft, and starts doing his patented "zombie fighting" punch! Shaft staggers back a bit, and rolls back into the ring! Ash, who's elated that he's FINALLY getting in an offesnsive move, keeps the punches coming!*
Bob: And Ash finally getting on the offensive here!
Ralph: Pretty pathetic offense...
*Shaft, tired of getting punched, GRABS Ash's hand! The crowd POPS!*
Jeice: OH HELL YEAH!!!
*He then kicks Ash in the gut, and sticks his head between his legs!*
Jeice: O_O! No way...
*Shaft hooks the arms!*
Jeice: HE ISN'T....
*BLAOW!! Pearl River Punge on Ash!*
Jeice: OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!! X____X!!!!
*Jeice FAINTS and falls right off the commentators tower!!*
Ralph: Jeice?!? You alright!?!?
Jeice: *is twitching from marking out*
*Back in the ring, Ash is out COLD! Shaft pick up his limp body, and just tosses him out of the ring!*
Shaft: Well, that ends that... now it's time to relax...
*He climbs out of the ring, and goes to the crowd, where two beautiful women are waiting him!*
Shaft: Come on, ladies, let's blow this two-bit town...
*He walks off with both ladies on either arm!*
Bob: I guess Shaft wins...o_O
Jeice: *is STILL out* X_X!!
WINNER: Shaft
*Ralph pours some fruitopia down Jeice’s throat, and it wakes him right up!*
Jeice: O_O! JON?! WHERE’D YOU GO!! ....... I need... your autograph :(.....
Bob: awww! :(.
BB Hood vs. Kurt Angle
*“Living Deadgirl” begins first! The crowd reacts in her favor as BB walks out, with her hood completely draping over her face.. almost like some short orange guy from another Organization!*
Tazz: >:|......
Ralph: I wonder why she’s becoming such a bad ass?
Bob: Maybe it’s because Love and Peace aren’t here anymore to hold her killing nature back?
Jeice: or maybe it’s because she SUCKS?! >:] >_< !! OW!!
*BB shoots his ass with a rubber bullet RIGHT between the eyes!*
BB: >:|!
*Once she gets into the ring... The patriotic theme song from the WWF starts up next! Heel heat almost covers up the music though as the man with the THREE Is... Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence, Kurt Angle walks down to the ring with his arms raised!*
BB: >:|!
Jeice: This one is for ALL the beans! It all started some odd months ago when Angle Jumped BB in a fugitive match, and the attacks have been getting progressively worse since then! It’s almost like this guy’s not human!
Bob: Like I said before! He CAN’T SELL!
!!DING!!
*It's on! They're all alone in the ring for the first time ever! No interferences, no run ins! It's just Mano y womano? o_o... well anyway! BB and Kurt grimace at each other.. like just the sight of one other just makes Kurt and BB sick to their stomach! Finally, They attack each other in the middle of the ring, trading blows with blows!*
Crowd: POPS!!!
*Kurt grabs her by the back of hte head and throws her into the ropes! She comes back, ducks a clothesline, hits the ropes again, and takes Kurt down with a lariat of her own! He jumps back up and gets knocked down again.. and again.. and again!*
BB: >:|!
*She's going mental now! Out of the basket comes the Champagne bottle!!*
BB: HAVE A DRINK!
*It's shaken up, and before Kurt knows it.. there's a HUGE flame in his face!*
!!BLOOM!!
Kurt: >_< !! ARRGH!! CHEATER!!
*She then turns her bottle upside down, and shatters it over his head!*
Kurt: X_X!! *COUGHS*
Ref: 1.......2.......
*He kicks out! While he’s still weary, BB grabs a steel chair from the ring announcer, draws back, and slams it into Kurt’s head!*
Crowd: OOOOOOOH!!!!!!
BB: >:]!!
*The chair is bent 90 degrees from the shot to the face!*
Jeice: *SPITS OUT HIS DRINK* O_O!!
Bob: MY LORD! STOP THE DAMN MATCH!
*She covers one more time!*
Ref: 1..........2..........
*HELL NO! Kurt kicks out one more time! BB sits up, and looks at Kurt with wide eyes! She’s NEVER hit anyone that hard in her life!*
BB: *eyes water up* :(!
Ralph: You can see the frustration in her eyes!
Jeice: Damn, I heard this guy can kick out of anything, but this is rediculous! He’s been Burned, had a glass shattered over his head, and one heck of a chair shot!
*BB hits the ropes for momentum, but Kurt miraculously kicks up to a vertical base and catches her around the waist! Using her momentum to his advantage, he gives her one HELL of a belly to belly suplex!*
!!THOOM!!
BB: @_@!!
*Then he grabs her by the back of the head, jerks her up from the ground, and nails a german suplex!*
BB: X_X!!
*He goes for the pin!*
Ref: 1......2......
*But before he gets to three... Kurt jerks her head up! That wasn’t enough for him! he lifts her up for yet ANOTHER German Suplex! To add insult to injury.. He takes her very own basket, and whacks her in the head with it!*
Jeice: LOL!!
Bob: That’s not Funny!.... LOL!
BB: X_X!!
*He then grabs her by the throat and crotch, then lifts her over his head! He turns and walks towards the end of the ring!!*
Ralph: uh oh! I don’t like the looks of this!
Jeice: SHE’S A BIRD, SHE’S A PLANE!
*He gorilla presses BB right over the damn top rope! She flies several feet until she hits the floor!*
Crowd: OOOH!! >:| BOOOOOO!!
Angle: WOOOOO!!
*He celebrates in the middle of the ring like he just won the olympic gold! That is until........ KEN SHAMROCK’S MUSIC STARTS PLAYING!*
Angle: O_O!!!
Crowd: POPS!!
Jeice: Oh shit! The beast from Sacremento, CA is here in the UCTF?!
Bob: I think we all know what grudge he bares against Kurt Angle!
Ralph: what? I don’t know what it is! o_o
Shamrock: >:|!!!!!
*He walks maybe halfway down the ailse before sprinting down to the ring! Angle bounces off the ropes to gain momentum, but he’s dropped with a clothesline! Then Shamrock takes him down again.. and again.. AND AGAIN until Angle can’t get up anymore! Showing a little bit of his “Integrity”.. Angle gives Shamrock a Low Blow forearm! Too bad it doesn’t work like he wants it to.. instead of going down.. Shamrock gets PISSED!*
Shamrock: ........ AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: *COVERS THEIR EARS! X_X!*
*That’s it! He snaps! Angle doesn’t know what to do! He’s shook like a deer staring into the headlights! Shamrock grabs him around the waist, and hits him with a Nasty Belly to Belly Suplex! Angle’s corpse bounces over to his stomach, just as he locks on the Ankle Lock Submission!!*
Angle: X_X!! X_X!!!!!! AAAAAARGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!
Jeice: OH SHIT!! HE’S STILL NOT TAPPING OUT!
Ralph: I think he might.. after this! Look at the top rope!
*Exactly! From the top, BB leaps off, and hits the Arabian Face Destroyer!!*
!!!!BLOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
*The blast even knocks Shamrock out of the ring! She turns Kurt over, and covers for the pin!!*
Ref: 1..........2........
*HELL NO! Kurt kicks out AGAIN!!*
BB: >:|!!!!!!!!!
All 3: WHAT?!!?
*That’s all she can stand! She picks up the smoldering remains of the steel chair, and BEATS it into Kurt’s head! Each shot is more powerful than the other!! Finally, she comes to a hault when she can’t lift the chair anymore, and goes for the pin!*
Ref: 1..........2..........3!! NO 2!!! HE KICKED OUT!
BB: @_@!!!!
Kurt: X_X.. >:]!!
*Now he’s getting up!! BB backpeddles, not knowing what to do next, when she sees his eyes glow RED!*
BB: O_O?!?!
*Kurt grabs a lacerated part of his forehead from the chairshot, and RIPS it apart! What remains is a metal skull!*
BB: you.. You’re a ...
Jeice: NO FUCKING WONDER! AFTER ALL THIS TIME, KURT ANGLE’S NOTHING BUT A DAMN ANDRIOD! BB, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!
Android Kurt: IT’S TRUE IT’S TRUE! >=|
BB: >:|! Alright then, I was wanting to win this fairly.. but it looks like I’m gonna have to use the BOYS!
*She throws the purse in the air, and out pops the Burly men with Gats pointed at Angle!*
Angle: >:|!
Woodsmen: >:|!!
BB: READY, AIM, FIRE!!
!!BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
*Angle stands there undaunted, while BB leaps on the woodsmen’s shoulders and catches her bag! She has ONE more trick up her sleeve! From the basket, she pulls out THE APPLE!*
Ralph: that’s it. I’m out!
Bob: Me too!
Jeice: o_o!
*The Crowd covers themselves with plastic as BB shoves the apple right into the cyborg’s mouth! The Woodsman jump over the top rope along with their leader!*
Angle: *munches* mm!! an apple a day keeps the doctor a--
!!KATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
*Metal and flesh fly all over the arena!! His head lands right next to BB, who’s crouched under the steel steps!*
Head: @_@... That lacked... Integriiiiiiiiiiityyyyyyyy...................... X_X!
!!DING DING DING!!
Jeice: That’s all she wrote!!! BB FINALLY defeats Kurt Angle!!
BB: .....o_o........ ^_^!!! YATTA!!!!!!!!
*“Living Deadgirl” Begins playing as BB Hood celebrates with her woodsmen, along with the ENTIRE UCTF roster, Heel OR Face! ANGLE’S DEAD!*
Bob: FINALLY! It’s over!
Ralph: I know! 6 months, and Kurt Angle won’t ever be in our hair again!! WOOHOO!!
Jeice: But I have to wonder.. o_o Was that REALLY Kurt Angle? Or was it some kinda clone that he made just for tonight?
Ralph: Who cares! He won’t ever show back up here if that’s True!!
Winner: BB Hood
*Somewhere in Texas...*
Kurt: >:|..... DAMNIT! ..............We’ll meet again, you 24 year old.
Benoit: Leave her alone damnit! We’ve got a match coming up!
Kurt: oh yeah. >:|. *walks off*
Sanosuke vs The Acolytes
Barroom Brawl
*The scene opens up on Up- *ahem* POAD'S bar, where a certain ass kicking, cigar smoking, beer drinking WWF duo are sitting and playing cards!*
Bradshaw: Canada's a messed up country, man.
Faarooq: Really?
Bradshaw: Yeah... those French Canadians are the worse, though.
Faarooq: What makes ya say that?
Bradshaw: *cracks open a beer* Well, ya see, they speak this weird language. It's not French, but it's not English...
Faarooq: What IS it then??
Bradshaw: Fenglish, I guess.
Faarooq: LOL!! Or Engch!
*they start pounding on the table*
Bradshaw: But you know what's the best part about Canada?
Faarooq: What?
Bradshaw: The little diffrences. You see, in Canada, you know what the drinking age is there?
Faarooq: It ain't 21?
Bradshaw: Naw, man, it's 18!! Fuckin' HIGH SCHOOLERS can drink beer!
Faarooq: Get the fuck outta here!
Bradshaw: No, really! And they call candy bars chocolate bars!
Faarooq: Even PayDay bars?
Bradshaw: Even PayDay bars.
Faarooq: Man...that's fucked up!!
Bradshaw: Oh, and don't make me get into how they stick "u's" into every fifth word... or how every guy's named Doug or Bob...
*just then...*
"FUTE NO KIWAMI!!!!"
*BLAOWWW!!!!*
*The front door of the bar is BLOWN off, as Sano clobbers it with his signature punch!*
Acolytes: O_O!
Sano: You've got a LOT more to worry about than fuckin' CANADIANS!
*He STORMS into the bar, over to Faarooq and Bradshaw, and flips over their table! Faarooq and Bradshaw are RIGHT up in Sano's face!!*
Acolyes: >=|!!!!
Sano: >=|....
???: STOP!!!!
*Everyone turns around, to see none other than TAKA and FUNAKI standing there, in APA shirts, and doing that whack-ass bad dub thing!*
Taka: FOOL! You DARE take on Keientai's good FRIENDS the Acolytes?! You, Sanosuke, are going to suffer at the hands of our EEEEEEEEEVIL techniques!
Funaki: INDEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!
Acolytes: =|....
Sano: Bring it on, punks!
*Taka and Funaki charge at Sano, but Sano punches BOTH of them right in the face! They both go FLYING back, and smash right into the wall, and land on a table!*
???: =|...Oh, HELL no...
*Sitting at the table, is none other than the hardcore japanese legend MR POGO!!!*
Taka: x_x....I think we in over head, Funaki....
Funaki: ....INDEEEED.....X_X
*Pogo, NOT amused that his table got trashed, grabs a nearby fork and starts STABBING Taka and Funaki!*
Keientai: AHHHHHH!!!!!! *no dubbing necessary!*
*In the meantime..*
Sano: =|...*turns to Faarooq and Bradshaw* Can we get going now!?!?
Bradshaw: *shrugs* Whatever...
*Bradshaw goes right after Sano, and JUST misses with the clothesline from hell! Sano punches him right in the kidney, and throws Bradshaw over his shoulder, and onto the bar! Faarooq come up behind Sano, and NAILS him with a german suplex!*
Faarooq: THAT'S for spillin' our perfectly good beer!!! >=|!!!
*Farooq picks Sano up, and rolls him onto the pool table! Bradshaw comes over, as Faarooq sets Sano up for a powerbomb! Faarooq gets Sano up, and Bradshaw helps out with the slam!*
Sano: X_X...
Faarooq: ...>=|.. I ain't done with this bitch.
*Faarooq picks Sano up, and nails him on the pool table with the DOMINATOR!! The damn table nearly snaps in half!!*
Bradshaw: HELL'S YEAH! Another quality ass-beatin' for the APA!
*Not quite!! Sano's dazed by the Dominator, but isn't done! He grabs a pool cue from the table, and crotches both Faarooq AND Bradshaw with it!!*
Acolytes: @_@!!!!
*Sano then jumps up, and does a split-leg kick, knocking both Acolytes off the table!*
Sano: Feh... takes more than some whack-ass wrestling move to put me down..
*Sano then jumps off the table, and lands mounted on top of Bradshaw! He then starts laying into Bradshaw with a flurry of punches!*
Bradshaw: X_XX__X_X__X_X_X_X_X_X!!!!
*Faarooq comes up behind Sano with a beer bottle, and smashes it over his head! Sano stops pounding on Bradshaw, and turns around to face Faarooq, not fazed in the LEAST by the bottle shot!*
Faarooq: O_O!
Sano: >=|...
*Faarooq grabs a damn PITCHER, and smashes it over Sano's head! Sano doesn't move one damn MILLIMETER, standing there with the blood trickling down his face!*
Sano: Go ahead... see what happens if you do that again.
*Faarooq'd rather not, and just punches Sano in the face! Sano staggers back a bit, and walks into a punch from Bradshaw! They start punching him back and forth like a damn pinball!*
Faarooq: CLEAR THE BAR!!
*The patrons at the bar counter move out of the way, as Faarooq and Bradshaw slam Sano down on one end, and slides his ass down the bar, breaking every damn glass there is on it! They release him, and he flies off the end, and gets his head lodged in the pinball machine!*
Bradshaw: BOOYEAH!!
Faarooq: *shoves Bradshaw* Dude, that ain't keepin' it real. >=|
*Sano pulls his head out of the machine, and turns to them!*
Sano: >=|...Oh, it's on, now..
*Sano DIVES after them, and clotheslines both of them to the floor!! He picks up Bradshaw, swings him around, and he FLIES across the room, and into the wall, right next to the "UCTF: Millenium Battle!" machine!*
Bradshaw: X_X!!
Alexia: >=\..hey! Watch it! I'm tryin' to play here!
*Faarooq tries to set Sano up for another Dominator, but...*
Sano: FUTE NO KIWAMI!!!!
*BLAOW!!!!*
*Faarooq goes FLYING across the room, and lands with his head right IN the arcade machine! Alexia manages to duck in time, but...*
Alexia: o_o...O_O!!!.....@_@!!! >:|!!!!! OH, FUCK NO!!!!! NO ONE FUCKS UP MY MACHINE!!!!
*She picks up the damn cabinet, and slams it down on both Faarooq and Brashaw! She then pulls their limp bodies out from under it, and is about to throw them out, when...*
Sano: *taps her on the shoulder* Allow me, miss...
*He picks up Faarooq, and sends him through the window, and into the street! He lands on a car, and Bradshaw lands on HIM seconds later!*
Acolyes: X_X....
*Back in the bar*
Sano: >=|... I had it under control. Girls like you shouldn't be fighting.
Alexia: I know...~_~.. but, my GAME!!!! ;_;!!!
Sano: You'll get over it....
*He walks over to the bar, grabs a bottle of Sake, and walks out*
Poad: o_o;;;; Uhh... SANO IS THE WINNER!
*The enitre bar cheers as glasses are clinked together*
Winner: Sano
Bob: So what's up next?
Ralph: Looks like we have a nose tweaking match?
Bob: You mean... oh boy...
Jeice: and t hat’s where I’m out! I gotta go take a leak!
*Jeice gets up and runs off to the bathroom*
Bob: What’s his problem?
AT vs. Kuririn
Nose Tweak Match
(For the match, Kuririn comes out, escorted by Kakarott. Kuririn is a bit nervous, seeing that this is his first time in a UCTF arena.)
Kuririn: Uhh... are you sure about this?
Kakarott: It's easy! All you have to do is tweak the other guy's nose. That should be easy since you don't have one.
Kuririn: Yeah... you do have a point there... o_o *places his hand on his face*
Ralph: Kuririn?
Bob: Yup, he's one of them!
Ralph: Uhh... I have something ask.
Bob: What?
Ralph: Why is Kuririn in this match when he doesn't even have a nose to tweak? :|
(We'll wonder about that later. In the meantime, "Still a Secret" starts playing. And you know what that means! Adrienne, everyone's favorite nose-tweaker, makes her way. However, there's one thing she's got on that she normally doesn't wear... a catcher's mask. o_O?)
Ralph: What the hell?!
Bob: She's wearing a mask?! o_o?
Ralph: Looks like she doesn't want her nose tweaked.
(As Adrienne gets in the ring, Kuririn holds his hand upward.)
Kuririn: KIENZAN!
(Kuririn sends his Kien-Zan attack right by Adrienne's direction. The ki disc turns vertical and grazes Adrienne's face. Fortunately, Adrienne's safe, but her mask splits open, revealing her beautiful face.)
Adrienne: O_O!!!!!
Ralph: And now... Adrienne's face is open to any tweaking!
(Adrienne runs to Kuriring to do some sort of attack, but Kuririn phases out.)
Adrienne: o_O?!
Bob: Huh?
Ralph: Where did he go?
(Kuririn phases in, but he does it inches from Adrienne's face.)
Adrienne: o_O?!
Kuririn: >:]!
(Kuririn tries for a tweak, but Adrienne moves out of the way. Adrienne tries for a tweak of himself, but she cannot. Afterall, Kuririn doesn't have a nose!)
Adrienne: Huh? Where's your nose?
Bob: Uh oh...
Ralph: Not good for Adrienne.
(Kuririn phases out once more... and he returns once again right in Adrienne's face. He tries for another tweak, and he connects!)
Adrienne: O_O??
Kuririn: I got you now!
(Kuririn keeps the tweak in, and this time, he gives Adrienne a tweak toss!)
*DING! DING! DING!*
Ref: The winner... Kuririn!
Crowd: :|
(Kuririn is all smiles, seeing that he has won his match. Adrienne, however, is not as jubilant. Tears begin to well up in her eyes.)
Adrienne: ;_;!!!! *CRIES!!!!!*
Crowd: o_O?!?!?!
(Adrienne is having one of his infamous temper tantrums right now! She's screaming like hell, her tears gush out like water from a faucet! She bum rushes Kuririn and beats him up while crying her heart out!)
Kuririn: X_X!!
Adrienne: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! ;_;!!!!!!!
(Adrienne finishes her tamtrum and runs away crying. Kuririn, while being a winner, looks like anything but. His face looks like meatloaf, and Kakarott carries Kuririn away.)
Bob: Now that was just too weird.
Ralph: And we didn't see her...
Bob: >:]?!
Ralph: Her breasts! ^_^
Bob: >:|......
Winner: Kuririn
*Right after the match, the camera goes back to Poad’s Bar, where, just a few moments after whipping each other’s asses... Sano and the Acolytes are actually DRINKING together! They’re all piss Drunk!*
Bradshaw: >_< !! *Tries not to hurl!*
Sano: LOL! First time Sake Drinker?
Faarooq: hell yeah, I told dumb ass to take it slow the first time! LOL!
Sano: LOL!!!
Ralph: heh.. gotta love drunks, they’re either best friends, or loathed enemies.
*Jeice comes back into the commentator’s tower and sits down*
Jeice:Did I miss anything?
Ralph: not really... Just a couple of drunk guys puking on each other.
Jeice: shit! >=| I wanted to see that!