*Once again, we
fade in on Vegeta's office, where Vegeta is reading a newspaper, when there's a
knock!*
Vegeta: *mumbles* Come in.
*The camera
swings around, to who walks in!*
Vegata: Oh,
hello Yuri.
Yuri: ^____^ Good evening, Mr.
Vegeta
*Yuri's decked
out in her full-on Miss Handcock outfit, and has a HUGE smile on her face!*
Vegeta: Now,
Yuri, I expect you to do a good job tonight, yes?
Yuri: HAI sir!
^____^ I'm just
SO glad to be back!
Vegeta: Yeah,
most people are after a four month PAID vacation. =| Now get out to the booth.
Yuri: HAI!!
*She turns and
practically SKIPS out of the office!
Just as she is, THE GAME Triple S walks in!*
Vegeta: *sighs* What is it this time?
Shawn: *ahem*
Sir... if I may ask... you know how much I've given to this company, yes?
Vegeta: =|......
Shawn: I mean...
in the past couple of weeks I've caught a couple of potential snags in your
programming that could've led to a surefire ratings disaster.
Vegeta: Get to
the point, Shields. >=|
Shawn: o_o...
*coughs* Right... well... I would like to ask a favor of you.
Vegeta: >=| Good luck.
Shawn: ....uh...
with regards to tonight's main event fatal four way match... I wasn't expecting
it to be pushed up to this week... so I would like to ask if you could...
"tweak" the stipulations a bit...
Vegeta: Like
make it so that all of the other competitors have to pin you before you're
elimminated?
Shawn:
....that's exactly what I was thinking!
^_^
Vegeta: *pauses*
You know... I would SO do that for you, Shawn....
Shawn: O_O! Really!? ^_^!!!
Vegeta:
.........but it just so happens that tonight's match will have NO pinfalls at
all. >=)
Shawn:
o_o..........wha... what do you mean?
Vegeta: I said
every match would have some sort of stipulation attached, didn't I?
Shawn: So...
what kind of match is it?? Last Man Standing? I
Quit? A CAGE match???
Vegeta:
>=)......................All three.
Shawn:
.................
Vegeta: The
first elimination is Last Man Standing.
The second elimination is under "I Quit" match rules, and the
final two will fight in a cage match.
*Vegeta then
leans back in his chair*
Vegata: I
suggest you go get ready. And don't
bother me with this trivial shit again.
>=|
Shawn:
...........................*quietly* yes sir......
*Shawn turns and
walks out, defeated.
Vegeta, however, smiles.*
Vegeta: ^_^ I
love my job.
*“Holy War”
suddenly starts up over the sound system, starting an instant uproar of boos
from the UCTF fans! The Crossover Mage himself, Kunoi Ishigami makes his way
down the aisle! Tonight he has a “ “ match against
Shriana Windbringer!*
Kunoi:
e_e.......
Ralph: Welcome to
Saturday Massacre! I’m Ralph Gerrard, and beside me is the lovely... H_H..... lovely angel.. Yuri!
Yuri: *^^*
Ralph: who’ll be
taking place of my fired comrade... Bobby Hinden ~_~
Yuri: =( *rubs his back*
Ralph: ;_;!! WHY?!?! WHY DID THEY HAVE TO FIRE BOB?! ALL HE EVER
DID WAS HIS JOB!!!
Yuri: *pats Ralph
on the head* It’s ok Ralph.. =(
*Ralph hugs Yuri.. well, more like puts his head IN
her damn chest! >=|*
Ralph: H_H now that
makes me feel better!!
Yuri: >=\
Alright RALPH. *shoves him away* We’re starting off
things tonight with a first round match for the UCTF Grand Championship
Tournament! Kunoi Ishigami will take on Shriana Windbringer!
*And seeing as
that Glen Sanchos is tonight’s referee, Kunoi doesn’t even bother bringing his
Crossover Tsunami boys down the aisle with him! >=\! Next up is “Twilight's
Dawn” bringing out Shriana Windbringer... whom I might add has not been in a
UCTF ring for weeks, maybe even months e_e and suddenly she gets an opportunity
at the UCTF grand Championship title! 9_9! Anyway, once the silver cat girl
climbs into the ring.... The Ring announcer steps in to announce the
stipulation!*
Announcer: THE
FOLLOWING MATCH... IS SCHEDULED TO BE A FUR VS.
AMERICAN FLAG MATCH!
Crowd: ??!?!!? *POPS ANYWAY!*
Kunoi and
Shriana: o_o..
Ralph: What the
HELL is a Fur vs. American Flag Match?
Yuri: shh!
*We’re about to
find out in a few seconds, ralphy x_x*
Announcer: The
rules of the match state... if Kunoi Ishigami wins..
Shriana Windbringer will be SHAVED in the middle of the ring, and most keep the
hair off four one full month!
Crowd: .. *BURSTS INTO LAUGHTER*
Shriana: .. ;_;!!!
Ralph: ...ewww!
Hairless catgirl puppies =(
Yuri: *thinks about
mr. bigglesworth* ~_~
Announcer:
However, if Shriana Windbringer wins the match, Kunoi Ishigami must wear the american flag in his wardrobe for thirty days! >=|!!!
Kunoi:
O___________O!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yuri and Ralph:
.............LOL!!!!!
Ralph: ;_; You mean.. Kunoi has to wear the red white and blue if
he loses?!?! LET’S GO SHRIANA LET’S GO!
*Kunoi tries to
get in the announcer’s face, who then jumps out of the
ring. He then turns his frustration out on Glen Sanchos!*
Grand Title Tourney: First Round
Shriana Windbringer vs.
Kunoi Ishigami
Fur vs. American Flag
Match
!!DING DING DING!!
*The match is
officially underway, however Kunoi continues to argue
with referee Glen Sanchos! And when things REALLY don’t go his way, he gives
the ref a shove!*
Yuri: Kunoi shoves
the referee! He could get himself disqualified right here!
Kunoi: >=|!!!
Glen: ......
>=|!!!
*But Glen shoves
Kunoi back HARD! He backs right into Shriana, who quickly rolls him up into a
school boy pin!*
Kunoi:
O______O!!!
Ralph: KUNOI’S
DOWN! SHRIANA COVERS!
*Glen slides
right into position!*
Ref:
1......2......3!!
Ralph:
LMFAOLMFAOLMFAO!!
*And Just like that, The match is over! Shriana advances to the
second round of competition.. ~_~..*
Winner: Shriana
Windbringer
!!DING DING DING!!
*Kunoi stands
back to his feet in disbelief! “Twilight’s Dream” kicks back up as Shriana
leaves the scene.. Kunoi however, paces around the
ring, VERY much pissed off! .....And unfortunately, things go from bad .. to worse for Mr. Ishigami..
A certain theme song kicks up over the sound system!*
Kunoi:
>=|!!!!!!!
WHEN IT COMES CRASHIN’ DOWN
AND IT HURTS INSIDE!!!!
YOU GOTTA TAKE A STAND IT DON’T HELP TO HIDE!!!!
IF YOU HURT MY FRIENDS
THEN YOU HURT MY PRIDE!
I GOTTA BE THE MAN!
I CAN’T LET IT SLIDE!
*YES! It’s Hulk
Hogan’s old school theme song “REAL AMERICAN!” Obviously, it’s now Kunoi’s
theme song for the next 30 days! The fans sing along!*
Crowd: I AM A
REAL AMERICAN! FIGHT FOR THE
RIGHTS OF EVERY MAN! I AM A
REAL AMERICAN! FIGHT FOR WHAT’S
RIGHT!!! FIGHT FOR YOUR
LIFE!!!
Kunoi:
>=|!!!!!!! ;_;!!!!!!!! *covers his ears!*
*Kunoi runs out
of the ring trying not to cry like a little bitch!*
Ralph: LOL!! Ooooh
man! X_x..
Yuri: Well, Shriana
advances to the next round...
!!ALRIGHT PARTNA... JUST
KEEP OOOON POSIN! YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!
Crowd: *HUGE
POP!!*
*That’s right
kiddies! “Posin” by Will Sasso kicks up, bringing out Dan “The Man” Hibiki!
He’s getting one of THE biggest ovations this arena has ever felt!*
Dan: >=|!!
*FLEXES!*
Crowd; *POPS!!
Females:
*FAINT!* H___X
Ralph: I want to
know HOW this asshole went from being the most Hated individual in the UCTF, to
now being the biggest.. the
biggest FACE we’ve ever seen?!
Yuri: I don’t know!
X_x! But.. but I kinda like
it.. *^^*
Ralph: >=|
*”The Cursed
Image” kicks up next, and out walks Ninja Puppies herself! ..
I mean, a worthy contender for the UCTF Grand
Championship Title! Taki! She climbs into the ring and makes a B-line for Dan,
who leaps right out of the ring in fear!*
Dan: o_o..
Taki: e_e...
Yuri: wow! I
think Taki means business tonight!
Ralph: she has to
be.. she’s going against a
former grand champion! Dan Hibiki has defied the odds before, so she doesn’t
want to give him any chance tonight!
*The referee
jumps in Taki’s path and instructs her to stand back, for it’s time for the
stipulation announcement! This time.. The president
himself does the honors! Vegeta appears on the jumbotron with a stern look on
his face.. *
Vegeta: e_e.. At first, I was going to make this a quadruple decker
fire, steel trap and claymore mine death match between Dan Hibiki and Taki.
Dan: O___O!
Taki: ...
Vegeta: but I
remembered your last match in the UCTF.. and I’m concerned about the welfare of your back Mr. Hibiki.
That’s why in this first round, I’m going to take it easy on you. e_e Tonight this will be a “Special Guest Referee” Match.
*Dan likes the
sound of that!*
Dan: .. ^_^...
Vegeta: I
thought you’d like that. Well, enjoy your match!
*Vegeta walks
away from the view of the camera.*
Ralph: uhh.. that’s all well and good.. but.. he didn’t tell us who the
special guest ref was.. o_o.. and
Guy Lombardo is leaving!
*Suddenly, Vegeta
jumps back in the view of the camera!*
Vegeta: oh yeah!
>=\ I must be getting forgetful in my old age. Tonight’s special guest
referee will be.......... e_e THE SHOTOKAN KAMEN.
Dan: O_______O
Everyone:
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ralph and Yuri:
LOL!!!!!!!!
Vegeta:
>=)..........................
Grand Title Tourney: First Round
Taki vs. Dan Hibiki
Special Guest Referee:
Shotokan Kamen
*Vegeta’s picture
fades out as the sound of the bell starts the match! Taki flings herself across
the ring, and almost takes Dan’s head off with a powerful clothesline!!*
Dan: X____X!!!
*Dan hits the
canvas NECK FIRST! His feet are literally over his head! In attempt to save his
own ass, He rolls out of the ring and falls to the concrete below! Taki leaps
over the top rope, and flies towards her opponent in a corkscrew motion!*
Dan: .. *SCREAMS!!*
Taki: >=|!!
*Out of
desperation, he rolls under the ring, just BARELY avoiding the attack! Taki
lands on her knees and lifts the apron of the ring to see where he went!*
Taki: O_o.. >=|!...
*On the other
side, HE appears!!*
Shotokan Kamen:
e_e......
*YES! It’s the
shotokan Kamen, wearing a referee’s outfit!*
Taki: ..what the hell is this?! >=|
SK: e_e! Get
back into the ring! 1!!! 2!!!! 3!!!! 4!!!! 5!!!
Taki: but..
SK: Get in
there! >=|! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!
*Taki leaps into
the ring before the 10 count! Once she’s in, The masked one looks underneath
the apron..*
SK: Dan.. you alright??? DAN ARE YOU
ALRIGHT UNDER THERE?! damnit! >=|
*Being the great
referee that he is, SK goes under the ring to LOOK for Dan! A few seconds
later, Dan Hibiki pops up from the other side of the ring!*
Dan: ORA!! >=|
Taki: ... *rolls
her eyes* e_e!
*Dan leaps into
the ring, and clasps his hands together! Veins pop from his ridiculously ripped
arms of his, and a brilliant light begins to manifest in his palms!*
Dan: >=|!!!
GADOUKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!...fizzle...!!!!!
*It is INCHES
away from Taki before dispersing! Taki sighs, then cracks her knuckles!*
Taki: NINJA
CANNON!!!
*She responds by
slapping her fist deep into the canvas! This send a shockwave
of ki through the ring, knocking Dan clear over the top rope, and into the
first row of fans!*
Dan: X______X!!
Taki: ......
*Taki stalks her
prey, who’s now assed out in the crowd! Right as she
approaches, Dan springs to life and throws a cup of beer right into her eyes!*
Crowd: *POPS!!*
Taki: >_< !!!
Dan: ^__^!!!
*Suddenly, Dan is
back in control! He leaps over the barrier and prepares to hit Taki with his
devestating (COUGHCRAPCOUGH) uppercut! Only, when he does, Taki blocks the
fist, and hits him with her “HASTE” combo! Dan flies OFF of his feet! And
to the concrete!*
Dan: X_____X!!
*Dan rolls under
the ring! Taki tries to grab his foot, but it’s too late!*
Taki: >=|!!
*Seconds later,
The Referee Shotokan Kamen reappears!*
SK: e_e Well, I
looked.. Dan isn’t under there!
Taki:
e_e!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Taki swings at
the referee, who blocks her punch, and throws her into the ring with ease!*
SK: Watch that
Young Lady! Do you see this?! I’m a referee ORA!!
Taki: o_o.
>=|!!!
*Right when the
tengu masked warrior climbs into the ring, Taki hits him with her “Hurricane
Punishment!” She only lands about three hits however, as The
much stronger Shotokan Kamen grabs her by the feet, and HURLS HER into the
corner!*
Taki: >_< !
SK: THAT’S IT!
YOU JUST BOUGHT YOURSELF A WEAPONS SEARCH! >=|! YOSHA!! OYAJI!!!
*He corners Taki,
and literally FEELS HER UP FROM HEAD TO TOE! The Ninja is NOT pleased at all
about this!*
Taki: *O_O*!!!
>=|!!!!!!!!
!!!THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
*The kick sends
even the all powerful Shotokan Kamen across the ring, out of the ring, and to
the floor!*
SK: >_< ! I oughta disqualify you for that! ... >=| But I’m
gonna look for Dan instead! ORA!!!
*He climbs back
under the ring!*
Taki:
>=|!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Taki leaps out
of the ring after him and crawls under the apron! From the otherside pops out
Dan Hibiki! He’s back again!*
Dan: o_o..
*Taki climbs out
from under the ring after him, and now SHE’S dressed in a school girl outfit!*
Taki: O_O?!!?!?
*SCREAMS!!*
Dude: H_H!!
*SNAPS PICTURES!*
*Taki climbs back
under the ring and comes out the other side, dressed in her normal Ninja
attire! She’s had enough of this! >=|!!*
Taki: e_e!! THIS
END.. NOW!!
*She gathers an
ungodly amount of Ki energy in the palm of her hands!*
Dan: O_O!!
Taki:
HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
*The usually
calm, cool, and collected ninja unleashes the huge ki attack, destroying
EVERYTHING underneath the ring! The four turnbuckl legs collapse, bringing the
ring down to the floor! Now there’s no way Dan can get under the ring... aka.. HE’S FUCKED!*
Dan: ;_;!!
Taki:
>=)...............
*Dan tries to
run, but Taki leaps right in front of him! In an instant, she’s hit him with
her Haste, the Water Haste, the Water Kick, the Rapid Destruction and Hurricane Punishment right in
succession! Dan is literally BLOWN up the ramp from the combination of
attacks!*
Dan:
X_________X!!
*He tries to
climb up the ramp, but it’s too late to get away now! Taki is right on his
heels!*
Taki: e_e...!!
*She goes for the
final blow.. but
unfortunately before she can, The SHOTOKAN FUCKING KAMEN cannonballs from the
back and nails her in the chest!!*
Taki:
X_______X!!!
Everyone: !?:!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?
*She’s knocked
from the stage to the inside of the ring, completely assed out!!*
Dan: o_o.. ^_^!!! X_x...
SK: ^_^! *hops
up and down*
*Well... atleast
he’s DRESSED like the Shotokan Kamen! Except he’s about twice
his size, has HUGE feet, and walks with a hunch in his back!*
Ralph: OH GIVE ME A BREAK!
Yuri: o_o! ..another shotokan kamen?!
*Dan gets into
the ring just as Taki is starting to get up.. He
lunges towards her and grabs her by the collar!*
Dan: OTAKU
MICHI!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!KATHOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crowd: OOOH!!!
HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!!
*Dan makes the
cover and the Shotokan Kamen makes ... o_o what sounds like a count..*
SK: RAARGHH!!
RAAARGGHHH!! RAAAAAAARRRGHH!!!
!!DING DING DING!!
!!ALRIGHT PARTNA... JUST KEEP OOOON
POSIN! YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!
*Thanks to the
help of the special guest referees.. o_o... Dan Hibiki
wins in a BLATANT cheating fashion! But you know what? The fans don’t care!
They love this guy!*
Ralph: I HATE HIM!
>=|!! He’s a cheater! Look at him! How can they cheer for him like that?!!?
He’s the exact same way he was before!!!
Yuri: ..there’s just something.. something
about him! *^^*..
Ralph: not you too!
Snap out of it! >=|!! Anyway.. Dan advances!
Winner: Dan Hibiki
*Dan Raises his
arms in the air and leaves the scene! seconds later,
that second masked avenger vanishes without a trace! As soon as the previous
fighters had left the ring, crewmembers start filing into the area and start
reinforcing the ring with STEEL BARRICADES and even lifted the ring itself by
about fifteen feet higher! The confused
crowd murmured as they also set up glass panels that are five inches thick and
twenty feet high, acting as walls separating the crowd from the ring! Hell, they even raised the ramp as well,
connecting it to the upraised mat.*
Ralph: What’s going on here…? o_O….
Yuri: I think I know what this is… oh boy… ~_~
*Once the
crewmembers finish their job, they QUICKLY ran to the back, and just then, the
theme ‘Suck A Sage’ comes on, and Chipp Zanuff, your
new UCTF Swordmaster champion, comes out with a massive pop! The foul-mouthed punk ninja raises his new
title belt in the air, grinning confidently as he walked toward the ring. He looked down and realized that he’s about
fifteen feet more above the floor than usual, but that doesn’t bother him. It looks like the gimmick is just to have it
so that if you fall through the ropes, you drop fifteen feet or so to the hard
concrete. Heh heh heh
heh… yeah right. What else did
our lovin’ president Vegeta think up here?
You’ll see!*
Chipp: Hmph.
>=/
*When Chipp waits
patiently in the ring inspecting his armblade, ’Crawling in the Dark’ tunes up
in the speakers, and the crowd cheers on as Ethan Rice steps through the
curtain and on the raised ramp, although he’s looking a bit nervous, being
around fifteen feet up already…*
Ethan: o_o….
Ralph: Ethan and Chipp are going at it for the first
round match in the road to the Grand title!
But… is raising the ring fifteen more feet up all there is to it for the
gimmick? O_o
*Hell no! When Ethan gets into the ring, the ref
*should* have signaled for the bell but he haven’t yet.*
Ethan: o_O Hey, aren’t you gonna let us start the
match?
Chipp: Yeah, what’s the fucking hold up?
Ref: Not yet, not yet… *gulp* @_@
Ethan: Huh?
o_O Just
what kind of a gimmick match will this be??
Ralph: I’m wondering the same thing… wait… what is
that I hear? Water splashing? What the hell? O___o
*Yep, you got
that right! There is the sound of water
splashing from the backstage! The crowd
gasped in horror as tons and tons of water flooded out from special pipes in
the back, and started filling up the huge gaps between the ring and the glass
panels surrounding it! Ethan and Chipp
looked on silently as the water continues to flood until it stops just two feet
below the mat! Then the ramp itself
disconnects from the ring, making it a makeshift island amid all the
water. Looks like the
only way out of there is by swimming!*
Chipp: Is this what the gimmick is? First person to drown lose? >=|
*Wait… there’s
MORE!!!*
???: RRRAAAAARRRRR!!!
Chipp: What the fuck? o_O
Ethan: o____o……
*One by one, alligators…
YES, ALLIGATORS… start swimming into the water, and some of the fans even
fainted at the sight of them! More and
more of the nasty beasts come out, and quickly there are TWENTY frigging
TEN-FOOT alligators straight from the deepest realms of the Amazon surrounding
the ring!*
Alligators: e_e………..
Ralph: Oh.
My. God. X_____X
Yuri: X_X
Ethan: @_@ Why me?
Chipp: o_o…. >=/ I can handle them!
*We shall see,
Chipp Zanuff… we… shall… see. The
alligators stare at Chipp and Ethan like they‘re steak with strips of bacon on
the side, and they swim around the ring, waiting for the opportunity for the
victims -- er, I mean, fighters, step out of the ring and start getting wet…*
Ref: Ring the bell… @_@
DING!
Grand Title Tourney: First Round
Chipp Zanuff vs. Ethan
Rice
ALLIGATOR DEATH RULES
MATCH
Ethan: o_o…. e_e Hope you brought your swim trunks,
Chipp…
Chipp: Hmph!
>=/
*Chipp charges
first, slashing with his armblade, but Ethan dodges the attack, got behind the
ninja and executed a snap suplex that sent Chipp’s silver-haired head straight
to the mat! Ethan holds on him and tries
for another suplex, but Chipp regained his senses and laid several stiff elbows
right at Ethan’s face, forcing the gamer to release the hold! Ethan was still stunned when Chipp spun
around and jumped, laying a nasty sidekick to Ethan’s chest! Ethan stumbles back… back… onto the
ropes! Now in a normal match, this
wouldn’t cause anyone for concern, but this isn’t some damn normal match! This time, when Ethan leaned against the
ropes, a splash of water sprayed at him and one of the alligators lurched up,
trying to take a bite out of crime, er-- Ethan!
Ethan looks down just in time to see a huge set of two-inch fangs coming
right at him!*
Ethan: O___O!!!
SNAP!!!!
Crowd: WHEW!!!
>_<
Alligator
#1: >=|!!!! *goes back in the water*
*Yep, Ethan
darted away just as the huge jaws of the animal snapped shut! Ethan stood a safe distance from the ropes
(though, he wished he was in another country away from this match right now!),
breathing heavily in relief. Chipp stood
close by, chuckling.*
Ralph: Man, Ethan almost became lunch there. >_<
Yuri: You think he would be edible anyway?
*Meanwhile,
watching the match via television in a certain apartment…*
Sasha: ;_; Please don’t get in the water, Ethan…
Sasa: @_@!!!!
SLAUGHTER THE GAMING FUCK, ALLIGATORS!
EAT HIM, HE’S DELICIOUS!! DIE
ETHAN DIE!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
*Um… yeah. X_x Anyway, back to the match. Ethan dodges another armblade slice and
punches Chipp straight onto the kidneys, forcing Chipp down on one knee! He then executed a Star Punch to the temples
that had the punk ninja roll in pain, but he stopped when he realized that he’s
almost to the edge of the mat, which is quickly becoming a danger zone for the
two fighters! He kips up to see Ethan
charging, and positions his armblade for a…*
Chipp: e_e BETA BLADE!!
BLOAW!!!
*The nasty
specialized blade uppercut connects with Ethan’s chest, and they both got in
the air, though for Chipp, that was expected, while Ethan has a trail of blood
arching away from his wound! Some of the
blood falls onto the water…*
Ralph: I don’t think it’s a good idea to have blood
drops in the water… x_X
*Well, maybe
since these aren‘t sharks (hey, it‘s another gimmick match idea, Vegeta!), but
the alligators still remained outside, knowing that patience is a virtue! Ethan lands on the center of the ring (thank
God), fresh blood trickling out of his chest.
However he still gets up, and sees Chipp preparing to slice him
again! He pulls out his trusty replica
axe and mace, and parries Chipp’s armblade!
Both of them darted back and forth in the ring, blocking each other’s
slashes and Chipp avoids every mace attack that Ethan uses! Out of desperation, Ethan hurried his
attacks, and Chipp jumps back to give himself room,
surprised at this guy’s intensity! Maybe
it was because they’re surrounded by twenty hungry alligators, and that was
affecting Ethan’s focus. Oh well. Chipp goes back rushing him, but Ethan
quickly reached into his infamous bag of dice, and throws out the 8-side dice!*
BOOOOOOOM!!!!
Chipp: X_X
*The dice
explodes underneath Chipp’s feet, and he was sent flying in the air!*
Ralph: No… not into the WATER! O__O
Yuri: Oh shit!
Chipp: x_X… O_O!
*Chipp was indeed
flying over the ropes and just above the water and the waiting alligators, but
the hungry beasts will have to wait a little longer for Chipp defied gravity
itself by jumping in another direction in mid-air, making him land safely back
on the mat!*
Alligators: >=|!!!!!!!!
*Just as soon as
Chipp landed, Ethan was onto his ass again, jumping onto his shoulders and
executes a hurricanrana that sends Chipp’s head onto a set of razer-sharp d4s
already placed on the mat! The dice
sticks to the punk ninja‘s forehead, oozing blood out of the wounds, and he
groaned, picking out the dice one by one.
Once he finishes and gets up, Ethan brings him down again with a slide
kick and then followed the move with a nasty elbow drop! He goes for the pin!*
Ref: 1... 2... NO!!
*Chipp kicks out
just in time! Just as
the gameR stands and turns around to face Chipp…*
THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!
THUD!
Ethan: X_____X
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!! >___<
*Ethan ends up
with six shuriken stuck in various places of his body! That’s all that Chipp has, but he doesn’t
care. With blood trickling out of the
six new wounds, Ethan stumbles back, dazed, onto the corner! Remember that alligator that surfaced above
the water and tried to eat Ethan earlier?
Well, he’s baaaaaaccckkk!!!*
Alligator
#1: >=)!!!
*However, just
before the alligator could lurch up again to bite onto Ethan’s leg, Chipp
teleports onto Ethan’s shoulders along with leaves that appeared out of thin
air, grabbed Ethan’s chest to hold on, and then swiped up the armblade up
against his neck! The Rokusai move sends
Chipp spinning back and landing picture perfect on the mat, and Ethan stumbles
forward away from the edge of the mat bleeding, just as the alligator was about
to bite his ankle!*
Alligator
#1: o_o…. >=|!!!!!!!
*Oh no… after two
missed chances in a row, this alligator is uber-pissed off! Ethan staggers up and glances at the water…
and in horror sees that alligator resurface again… and this time uses his whole
body up, and gets into the ring!*
Ralph: Oh no, there’s a ten-foot alligator in the
ring!!! >__<
Yuri: I knew this would happen sooner or later…
*With the fear of
GOD in his eyes, Ethan desperately searches through his dice bag, but has to
run at the same time for the alligator was shuffling his scaly body across the
ring in an unnatural fast pace! The
crowd roared in horror as the alligator stopped in the middle of the ring, and
opened its jaws for all to see! Its long
fangs glistened white and it looks like he could swallow Ethan WHOLE! Just one bite and swallow, that‘s fucking
IT!*
Chipp: Hey, get your scaly ass out of the ring,
freak! >=|!!!
Alligator
#1: e_e…. >=)!
*The alligator
switches his hunger-crosshairs from Ethan to Chipp,
and with its huge jaws wide open, starts rushing toward the punk ninja! Chipp sets his armblade in front of him and
simply chuckled.*
Chipp: I don’t taste all that good, dumbass! >=/
*Chipp then runs
TOWARD the alligator, and sets his armblade up for the…*
SSLLAAAASSSHHHH!!!!
Alligator
#1: X_____X
Crowd: O_O HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY
SH*T!
*Chipp’s combo
Circular and Upward Swipe move completely cut the alligator in HALF, and the
two pieces of alligator meat slowly drifts apart and falls sideways on the mat,
soaked with blood and alligator-innards!*
Ralph: X_x I feel like throwing up…
Yuri: X_X
*Me too… x_x One down, nineteen
more hungry alligators to go! Chipp
flicks a piece of alligator intestine off his armblade and turns toward Ethan,
who wallops the ninja with a nasty kick to the groin! Chipp stumbles back, holding his soft spot
with his hand, and Ethan bravely ran to the ropes and used them to spring him
back toward Chipp, and knocked his ass down with a Long Spear! Ethan then remains on top of him and starts
punching him on the face, but Chipp kicked him out of the way and stood up
quickly. Chipp’s armblade and Ethan’s
axe collided again, and sparks flew between the blades! They parried till finally Chipp spun and
kicked straight onto Ethan’s neck, sending the gameR flipping back and landed
onto the guts of Alligator #1!*
SQUISH!!!
Crowd: EEEEEWWWWW!!!! >__<
Ethan: Ugh… >__<
Chipp: You need a bath, punk! Here, let me help you! >=|
*Chipp picked him
up to his feet and prepares to throw him over the ropes, but Ethan kicked him
on the nuts again, and brought him down with another Star Punch! Ethan reached into his dice bag again, trying
to find the right type of dice, when all of a sudden…*
Alligator
#2: RRRAAARRR!!! >=|!!!!
Ethan: O___O!!!
*Yet ANOTHER
alligator shuffled its body into the ring, pissed off since Alligator #1
happened to be its brother or something!
Not only that, but he’s seeing Ethan as a Brock Burger and a large order
of Nabe-Fries, complete with a medium Tau Cola!
Yeah, I’m selling out here… the money was too tempting… x_x Anyway, Ethan’s eyes were as wide as planets
as he sees the alligator’s jaws open and hurling toward him, trying to bite off
a good portion of his gaming flesh! He
finally finds what he wanted in his bag and pulls out… a friggin’ 100-sided
dice!*
Ethan: o_o…. >=)!!!
*Ethan then
throws the 100-sided dice straight INTO the alligator’s mouth, and as the beast
closed its mouth in confusion, Ethan ran to the other side of the ring, a safe
distance away from the hapless animal!*
Alligator
#2: o_O……
KABOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!
Alligator
#2: X______________X
*The poor
victimized alligator had traveled many, many miles from the deep jungles of the
Amazon to
Alligator
#3: >_e… >=|!!!!!
*As this was
going on, elsewhere in WWF headquarters… no, I’m not talking about the
wrestling organization… I meant the frigging World Wildlife Fund!!! >=|*
WWF President: ;_; Look what they’re doing to the poor
animals!!! THEY WILL PAY!! >=|!!!
*Oh God no…
x_x Well, back in the match, Ethan and
Chipp wiped the alligator guts off their bodies as much as they could, and
start slashing each other again! Chipp
however managed to cut up Ethan’s leg and as the gaming expert staggers back,
he swipes the blade at his chest, opening new wounds! Ethan yelled in pain and desperately thrust
out his mace, which connects to Chipp’s face!
In another part of the ring, the ref was watching the two fighters,
officiating as usual, when the sneaky Alligator #3 slowly crept up to the edge
of the ring and climbs up into the ring!
The crowd roared out warnings to the ref that it was crawling behind
him, but the ref didn’t even notice!*
Ref: o_o……
Alligator
#3: >=)!!!!
Ralph: Oh no… get out of the way, Ref!!! O___O!!!!
CHOOOOMMMMPPPPP!!!!!!
Ref: @_@!!!
%*^#*#^(^#(%^#%))@^@%@!!! X_____X
Crowd: EEEEEEEWWWWW!!!!! >___<
*The alligator
opened its jaws and snapped shut… right onto the ref’s right leg! The referee’s blood-curling screams stopped
the fight between Chipp and Ethan, and they watched in shock as the alligator
SNAPPED off the ref’s leg and starts whipping it around like a limp stick,
shooting out human blood everywhere! The
ref falls down in a pool of his own blood, wailing his arms and one remaining
leg in panic, splashing his blood all over himself! Ethan and Chipp looks
at each other, and then back at the alligator again.*
Ethan: Truce for one second? @_@
Chipp: >=\
*Cooperating for
once in this match, they turned toward Alligator #3 and stood in their fighting
stances. The alligator faced back at
them, using the referee’s leg as a makeshift sword!*
Ethan: e_e….
Chipp: e_e….
Alligator
#3: e_e…..
Ralph: Oh for crying out loud… >_<
Yuri: What does the fucking Amazon have
anyway? Their own Swordmaster
Division? ~_~
*Ethan runs
toward the alligator first, and tries to smash its head with his mace, but the
alligator blocked it using the ref’s leg and then jerked his jaws to swing the
blood-soaked leg right onto Ethan’s face, forcing him to turn around,
dazed! Then the alligator placed the leg
underneath Ethan and jerks it up with power!*
BLOAW!!!!
Ethan: >______<
*Yep, it’s a
nutshot to Ethan’s jewels! As he
stumbles away and falls groaning in pain, Chipp gets into the fray, and strike
with his armblade, but the smart alligator countered the armblade with the
ref’s leg each and every time!*
SLASH! SMACK! SLASH! SMACK!
SLASH! SMACK! SLASH! SMACK!
Chipp: >=|!!!
This is NOT my day!!
Alligator
#3: >=|!!!
Chipp: THAT’S IT!
GAMMA BLADE!!! >=|!!!!
*A clone of Chipp
comes out and starts whipping the alligator with a series of slashes! Once the clone faded, the alligator was dazed
enough for Chipp to leap and stab downwards onto the beast, drilling the
armblade THROUGH the alligator’s thick body!
The alligator lets go of the ref’s leg and screeched in pain, and its
body convulsed until it finally goes limp!*
Alligator
#3: X________X
Ralph: Finally!
x_X
Chipp: *chucks his armblade out of the alligator* How about that, huh
asshole? >=\
BLOAW!
Chipp: >_<
*Ethan breaks the
truce he made moments ago with a devastating kick to the back of Chipp’s
head! He pulls out a set of d8s and
throws them at Chipp, but the punk ninja sees them and jumps out of the way as
they explode! He then runs in mid-air
and kicked Ethan on the face several times!*
BLOAW! BLOAW! BLOAW! BLOAW!
Ethan: X__X…. >=|!!!!
*Not wanting to
lose another match, even among alligators, Ethan recovers from the kicks quickly
and throws a couple 12ds at Chipp, and then covers his eyes! The dice flashes brightly as they explode,
blinding Chipp! Seeing his chance, the
desperate gameR jumps to the top turnbuckle, keeping his balance so that he
wouldn’t fall into the water outside, and then turns his face to the watching
crowd, waving his arms to hype them up!*
Ethan: Doom… Doom… DOOM… DOOM… DOOM!! >=|!!!
Crowd: o_o… ^_^ DOOM!
DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!
DOOM! DOOM!
Ralph: Why am I reminded of an Invader Zim
episode? >__<
*Holding his
trusty mace tightly, Ethan faces Chipp and leaps off! Chipp however regains his vision and sees
Ethan diving down with the mace hurled toward his face!*
BLLLOOOAAAWWWW!!!!
Ethan: X___X!!!!
*At the very last
moment, Chipp spun around and laid a nasty kick to Ethan’s stomach! Ethan flips over and lands harshly on the
mat, doubling over in pain! Chipp then
stands in a meditating stance…*
Ralph: He’s going for the Delta End!! O_O
*Indeed, clones of Chipp come out and starts forming a pentagram
around Ethan, and then at the right moment…*
BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!
Ethan: X_____X!!!!
*The inferno
explosion sends Ethan’s smoking and bruised body straight up in the air,
flipping out of control! The alligators
watched him as he flies over the ropes and smacks onto the glass panels! Of course, the panels were too thick to be
broken, and Ethan simply bounces off…*
SPLASH!!!
Ralph: O__O OH GOD NO!!
Yuri: There’s gonna be a funeral in the gaming
community very soon… >_<
Alligators: O_O >=D!!!!!!
*Good God…
Ethan’s now floating on the water! He
regains his senses just in time to see a flood of alligators swimming toward
him!*
Ethan: @___@!!!!
Alligators: RAAAAARRRR!!!! >=|!!!!!!
*Ethan got to the
edge of the mat and desperately tries to climb through the ropes, but one of
the alligators got its jaws onto Ethan’s ankle!*
Ethan: X___X &()^#)(#)&)#^))&)@#-+!!!!!
*However, another
alligator bit onto that one, and Ethan’s ankle got released! He rolls into the ring, his ankle a mess of
bite marks and wounds! Chipp takes the
chance and rolls him up! The ref,
despite with just one leg, is still alive and makes the count!*
Ref: 1…. 2………… 3….. *falls dead* X______X
Crowd: *POPS*!!!!
Ralph: Chipp wins it! Good God… >_<
Yuri: About time… o_o… need a barf bag?
Ralph: YES!!!
>__<
Ethan: X___X
Alligators: o_O…. e_e!!!!
*The alligators
become pissed off, promising dinner but not getting any! ALL of them rush into the ring, and Chipp
slashes and hacks onto them, keeping them at bay! Ropes dropped down to their level from the
ceiling, and Chipp quickly picked up Ethan and climbs up the ropes, leaving the
alligators behind, roaring in frustration!
The water level sinks thanks to special drains on the floor, and once
the water is completely gone, the ramp and ring lowers back to their normal
levels and an ARMY of animal controllers march out!*
Animal
Control: e__e……….
Alligators: e__e……..
Ralph: Let’s go to a commercial while we prepare for
the next match…. X__X
Winner: Chipp Zanuff
Ralph: Are you all
right there Yuri?
Yuri: Well, I guess
so, it’s just my chair is kind of-
Ralph: YOU BASTARD UNHAND HER!!! >=|!!!!
CB: ^_^ *somehow
sitting between Yuri and the chair*
Yuri: *jumps up*
o_o
CB: *DIVES OFF THE
TOWER* YOU CANNOT ESCAPE WONG DEAF!!!
!!!!BLOOOM!!!!
*Once again the
UCTF arena needs a new ring as CB dives headfirst into the ground, making a
dent that even THE THING couldn’t get his head out of! Of course CB isn’t THE
THING so naturally he gets his head out pretty quickly! Faster than a Jin
Saotome highlights reel! I STEAL JOKES CAUSE I’M
HAPPY!*
Yuri: Oh, I get it;
it’s time for that Crazy Blonde thing to get punched in the head.
Ralph: Yeah, I love
this, we’ve actually gotten some actual fighters involved, I
wonder who’s going to get into this on this time?
Yuri: Rumour has
it, today is the day the blonde falls o_o
Ralph: Really?
Yuri: Nah, just
making it up ^_^
*I can’t be
expected to get the damn characters right so I’m farting about! WHOO! YEAH! REAKING OF WORK RIGHT HERE. Anyway, the Crazy Blonde take the microphone and puts it to his lips!*
CB: *THE SOUNDS
OF LAMBS BEING SLAUGHTERED IN A GLASS ROOM BY A WOLF IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE OF
CHILDREN!*
Everyone: o_o
CB: Heeeeere’s
DOODLES! *points at his crotch*
*No, really, his
piece of cheese comes rappelling down from the ceiling on a wire and lands on
CB’s shoulder, taking the mic with cheesy ease!*
Mr. Doodles: So
yeah, you people know the drill. Hit the kid in the head, and if you knock him
out, you win a prize! Which lucky douche is coming down to challenge this week
you ask?
Crowd: Weeelll…
Mr. Doodles:
YOU’RE ASKING >=|!!!!
Crowd: o_o;;;;
Mr. Doodles:
*coughs* Anyway, I managed to wrangle up a real doozy, cause apparently his ass
has been trained, or something close to that by some big guy who comes around
here and laughs at people and shit. I dunno, I just
stare at breasts the whole time.
Ralph: I know what
he means! H_H
Yuri: Ralph… the
ring’s that way…
CB: POOTY.
Mr. Doodles: So
anyway, bring out the reject so I can go home and look at underage porn!
Crowd: o_o
Mr. Doodles: Oh
just get on with it ~_~
*And with the
tune up of a live band, and the immediate strumming of instruments, “Mr.
Wonderful” begins playing, and to an amazingly large response from the crowd,
QUADRUPLE N HIMSELF HAS COME BACK*
Yuri: Woah… he
looks…
Ralph: He… he’s…
Mr. Doodles: FAT
>=|!!!!
*You damn bet,
NNNN hasn’t been under any real training from Jeice yet, and so he’s still as
fat and unfit as ever. He steps up as the crowd response turns from cheers to
outright laughter! How could a guy who couldn’t even beat HYSTALIN DEWARRLOC on
a good day beat CB?! Well it seems NNNN thinks he can do it, as he signals for
his band to get ready, but it’s not necessary, cause CB’s already paying
attention to the bustier ones of the group H__H*
CB: Blow my
clarinetabo!
Mr. Doodles:
This is gonna be over faster than it takes Eiji Kisaragi to go out of character
>=|!!!
Fourth Wall:
*cracks*
NNNN: >=)
*slides into the ring*
*The butt-ugly
gayan-I mean Saiyan is in the ring, and even as the band members over in their
position CB watches as they wave and some of them BOUNCE. CB’s completely
disoriented! THEY HAVE BOOBS!!!!! @_@*
CB: *drools*
Ralph: *drools*
Mr. Doodles:
Hold up a sec here ugly, seems my kid is broken.
NNNN: NO TIME!
*The devious half
brother’s cousin of the roommate of the I dunno I probably shoulda read his bio
FUCK IT ADLIB TIME*
Russo: Woah, my
shit ideas o_o
RVD: Woah… my
career!
HHH: Where’d my
penis go? O_o
*SILLY HHH YOU
NEVER HAD ONE! –Uh… anyway, the punce of saiyans whips out a feather even as
Mr. Doodles still sits on CB’s head, and with it he tickles him under the
armpits! The kid laughs, trips, and falls on his ass, KNOCKED OUT! THE WORLD
STOPS MOVING!*
Yuri: NNNN did it
again?!
Ralph: HOW DOES
THIS KEEP HAPPENING? o_o
CB: x_x
*”Mr. Wonderful”
strikes up and NNNN raises his arms over his head, the crowd too stunned to say
anything! But before anyone can say “SHIT SEX” Mr. Doodles is suddenly talking
into the microphone, angry as all hell!*
Mr. Doodles: CUT
THAT PIECE OF FAG-MAMBO YOU CALL MUSIC!!! CUT IT NOW!!!!
Band: *stops*
o_o
Mr. Doodles:
DIDN’T I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?! ARE YOU SO FAT THAT EVEN YOUR EAR DRUMS ARE
CLOGGED WITH FATTY DEPOSITS?! ARE YOU SO STUPID THAT YOU CAN’T FOLLOW A BASIC
INSTRUCTION!!!!
NNNN: … heeeey…
huh? O_o?
Mr. Doodles:
*foaming at the cheese* FNGKSDGLDGHLSGVNRS DFL SHLHRS HESBS YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO
HIT HIM IN THE HEAD!!! AND ONLY THE HEAD!!! WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT
THAT?!
NNNN: =| Well, I-
Mr. Doodles: NO!
Talky time is over you idiot! NOW YOU FACE THE CHEESE!!!! *cracks his cheesy
knuckles* >=|
NNNN: Huh?… LOL!!!
Crowd: o_o
Yuri: I’d laugh but
I think NNNN is in trouble o_o
Ralph: LOL! Either
way just laugh x_x
Mr. Doodles:
CHAIR!
*The
cheese-meister holds up his small hand and all of a sudden a full size steel
chair is thrown from the front row by some short girl with red hair, and when
Mr. Doodles CATCHES IT PERFECTLY the chair can be seen glistening under the
lights! This ain’t no ordinary chair people!*
Yuri: How is he
holding it up? O_o
Mr. Doodles: Hey
buddy, you got something on your foot. *points*
NNNN: I do?
*looks down*
Mr. Doodles:
Yeah, look real closely; bend right down so I can see the back of your skull.
NNNN: Only
because I think you’re so pathetically weak will I do this =| *bends right
down*
*In his cockiness
NNNN doesn’t realize that from the smell the chair is actually soaked in
KEROSENE, and the cheese merely lets a small sparklet drop from his cigar and
the whole steel chair goes ON FIRE*
Ralph: O_O
Yuri: O_O
Crowd: LOOK
OUT!!!! X___X
NNNN: I don’t
need to; because he is so pathetic I even laugh as I look carefully! HAH!
Mr. Doodles: The
kid would say something stupid right now… but I’m just gonna keep my dignity.
!!!!!WHAMFUCKINGBAMBAMBAMBAM!!!!!
*Repeated head
beltings result, but one was only needed before NNNN lays ass out in the center
of the ring… AGAIN! You can just imagine Jeice sighing and shaking his head!
The challenge has been rendered null and void, and Mr. Doodles signals for the
EMTS as he throws the chair to the floor so it can be sprayed by the ring crew
with foam to put it out! THE WHOLE DAMN THING IS OVER FOR NOW, though Mr.
Doodles grabs the mic for one last word!*
Mr. Doodles: THE
HEAD YOU FUCK! LIKE THAT! *drops the mic and walks off*
Yuri: x_x
Ralph: x_X daaaamn…
IF YOU SMEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL
!!THUMP!!
WHAT THE ROCK!!
!!THUMP THUMP!!
IS COOKIN! >=|!!
*”Know your role”
kicks up over the sound system, bringing up the former SEVEN TIME SEVEN TIME
SEVEN TIME SEVEN.. YOU GET THE DAMN POINT CHAMPION!
The crowd pops HUGE, not for the Rock, but for the guy who’s walking down the
aisle with him.. MICK FOLEY!*
Mick: ^_^!!
Ralph: uhh.. Why is the Rock and Sock Connection coming out??
Yuri: I wish I knew.. o_o.. But they’re carrying a
brief case and a pole with them O_o!
*The two WWE
legends set up the pole on one of the turnbuckles, then
Foley attaches the briefcase! Afterwards, they migrate to the commentators tower and take seats on the opposite sides of
Ralph and Yuri!*
Yuri: umm.. Mr. Johnson and Mr. Foley, for what do we owe you the
honor of this visit? o_o!
Rock: WELL THE
ROCK’S GONNA START OFF BY PLUGGING HIS NEW MOVIE... HELLDORADO STARRING YOURS
TRULY, THE ROCK. =|
Yuri: umm..
Foley: and don’t
forget my new book.. Foley is REALLY good! ^_^
Ralph: ..but why are you here?
Rock: well, the
president of the UCTF invited us here, but Foley and the Rock can’t actually
SPEAK on it.. until the
stipulation is ---did I forget to mention my movie helldorado?
Ralph: ..this is going to be a long fucking night.
*“Cryptorchild“ By Marilyn Manson kicks up, bringing down the UCTF World
Champion, Xion! This gets a HUGE ovation from the crowd of course, as he climbs
into the ring!*
Xion: ^_^...
*“Rainbow in the
Dark” kicks up next! ... well, atleast it’s supposed
to.. ~_~*
!!! COME ON IN COME TO THE
PLACE WHERE FUN NEVER ENDS!!!
*but instead, the
theme song to “GARFIELD AND FRIENDS” blares in it’s
place! Instead of Ailura’s 3 second jumbotron, the opening segment to the show
appears on the jumbotron!*
Everyone:
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!
Ralph: LOL!!
Yuri: *wipes her
tears away* ;_;!!
Rock: LOL!! THE
ROCK THINKS THAT’S FUNNY! LOL!!
Foley: LOL!
*Ailura walks out
VERY angry and embarrassed! But she’s not gonna let this bother her.. e_e She has A LOT riding on this
match! It’s for the UCTF Grand Championship! Once in the ring, the Announcer
prepares to do his job.. o_o..
announce stuff.*
Announcer:
Ladies and Gentleman.. this
next match is scheduled for one fall.. and the UCTF
World Championship! This will be decided in a .........PINK SLIP.. ON A POLE MATCH!!
Everyone:
O____________O!!!!!
Ralph and Yuri:
O_____O!
Rock and Foley:
>=).
Announcer: The
winner must climb to the pole and grab the suitcase to win. And
the loser....... The Loser of this match.. is hereby TERMINATED by the Ultimate Crossover Tournament
Fighting League!
Everyone: ..HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!
Ailura: O___O!
Xion: o_o
Grand Title Tourney: First Round
Ailura vs. Xion
UCTF World Title
Pink Slip On a Pole
!!DING DING DING!!
*The match is
underway!!*
Ralph: .. that’s right! You and Foley
were involved in that shitty ass Pinkslip on a Pole Match in that crappy town
of
Rock: well it’s
about time you got the point jabroni. It was only staring you right in the face
the entire time! >=|
Ralph: ...
Yuri: rock.. be nice.
Rock: ..you’re right. The rock should be more respectful to this
walking talking piece of monkey crap! >=| The rock’s got better things to
talk about anyway.. like his
NEW movie, HELLDORADO!
Yuri: after the
match.. please!
*Ailura looks at
Xion. Xion looks at Ailura. Ailura and Xion look at the ref. The ref shrugs and
looks back at them! Xion shrugs back, then walks towards the pole
non-chalantly!*
Xion: *whistles*
Ailura: o_o!
>=|!!!
*She can’t BELIEVE
he’s just going to turn his back on her like that and go for the suitcase so
early! >=|! That’s when her double edged trident makes it’s
first appearance in the matchup! Yeah x_x I know it’s not a sword match, but
this bout WILL decides someones career, and Ailura isn’t playing nice tonight!*
Ailura:
*ROOARR!!*
Xion: o_o?
*Before Xion
knows it, Ailura’s already tried to impale him with her trident! Xion side
steps it with ease, and gives her an annoyed look before turning back towards
the suitcase!*
Xion: >=\
what’s your problem??
Ailura: ..o_o.. >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Walking back
towards the goal, Xion doesn’t see Ailura powering her Trident full of
lightning energy! She fires a MASSIVE Blade bolt across the ring, which Xion
BARELY manages to dodge! His eyes widen in fear, as she attacks wildly with her
weapon!*
Xion: o_o..
Ailura:
>=|!!!
Ralph: Ailura’s
going all out here!
Yuri: I can see the
desperation in every swing she makes with her trident. She really wants her
job!
Rock: and if you
want to see monkey asses Job to the rock, then you’d better come and watch The
Rock’s NEW Movie.. HELLDORADO!
Ralph: ....
*He ducks a
swing, and manages to stumble her back with a kick to the abdomen..*
Xion: WILL YOU
STOP THAT?!!? o_o... Referee.. what’s
going on here?
Ref: ??
Xion: o_o aren’t
you going to do something about this fan? She’s getting in my way!
Ref:
......that’s not a fan.. that’s
Ailura.
Xion: O_O?!?
*Everyone in the
crowd hears this.. and BUSTS
out laughing!!*
Crowd:
*LAUGHS!!*
Yuri: .. you mean to tell me he didn’t
even know that was his challenger???
Ralph: talk about a
smacks to the face!
Rock: MUCH LIKE THE
SMACKS THE ROCK WILL BE PUTTING DOWN IN HIS NEW MOVIE, HELLDORADO!!
Ralph: >=|!
Mick: am I ever
going to get time to promote my new book?
Rock: Hang tight
Jabroni, THE ROCK’s just about finished.
*Back in the
ring, Ailura is beside herself! Not only did she get her theme song
“mysteriously” changed by someone, but now she finds out Xion didn’t even know
she was there to fight him?!!? What’s his excuse?!?!*
Ailura: .. YOU THOUGHT I WAS A FAN?!!?
Xion: well of
course I did. I thought you were just a fan doing HORRENDOUS cosplay. I’ve
never actually seen you before, being that I was advised by everyone in the
locker room to never watch a match with you involved, unless I really needed a
nap o_o.
Ailura: O__O!!
WHY.. WHY.. >=|! WHY I
NEVER!
Xion: ...and I
understand why..
Ailura: I KILL
YOU!
*With her left
hand, she creates a super-powerful bolt of energy towards her opponent! Xion
sidesteps out of the way, and the projectile flies out of the arena!*
Xion: o_o hey,
watch that!
Ailura: >=|!!
A FAN... WEARING HORRENDOUS COSPLAY?!
Xion: Come now.. you have to admit you’re not in
the best shape.. you look to be what.. 170 pounds? o_o Your stomach’s protruding
worse than Quadruple Ns. How could an eye sore like you really be atheletic.. and I don’t mean that in a bad
way.
Ailura:
>=|!!!!!!!!!
*Veins start
popping out of her forehead and neck! She lifts her left arm again, and fires a
gatlin gun like attack of “Bolt of the God” attacks! Xion dances and dodges
through every single attack, this time actually having to use a little effort!*
Xion: X_x! Don’t
tire yourself out!
Ailura: SHUTUP!
*She screams out..*
Ailura: METEOR
SHOWER!
*A few meteors from
the astroid belt between Mars and Jupiter are summoned to earth! Within a split
second, big ass space rocks are coming straight for Xion!*
Everyone:
O_______O!!
Yuri: METEOR!!!
Ralph: ;_;!! WE’RE GOING TO DIE!!
Rock: This reminds
The Rock of a stunt we did in HELLDORADO!
Foley: I HAVE A
WIFE AND KIDS!! WHREE WHREE!! ;_;!!
Xion: .. oh dear.
*Xion raises his
“Engage-Crest” shield! Seconds before impact, he unsheathes his armblades and
slices through the meteors without flenching!*
!!KATHOOM!!
*Xion takes the
attack head on like a man, as meteor rocks explode into tiny fragments and fly
into the crowd!*
Ailura:
AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Xion: >_o
*But Ailura’s not
done! >=|! Using that attack as a distraction, she rushes into Xion with a
hand filled with lightning energy! Wide open to the attack, Xion is hit DEAD ON
with the “Bolt of the God’s technique! It’s powerful enough to send the World
Champion across the ring and into the turnbuckle!*
Xion: x_x.. ow..
*The bolts
holding the ropes and turnbuckle snap out of place, and the entire thing
collapses!*
Xion: @_@..
*Ailura flies
towards him with her weapons moving in a spiraling buzzsaw motion!*
Ailura:
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
*But Xion kips
back to his feet and NAILS her in the face with a sublimed air uppercut! While
she’s still in the air, he delivers a chop, a backhand chop, then a spinning
elbow to the face, followed by a spinning kick, a kick to the knee, then
another kick to the side! She doubles over, as The
champion spins 360 degrees!*
Ailura: x_x...
!!BLAM!!
*He nails a huge
spin kick to the side of the head! Ailura hits the mat and bounces!*
Ailura: x___x...
Xion: >=\!
Now how did I get passed that HUGE weapon you’re flailing about? o_o.. ^_^ lemme guess, you only went to ONE class for that
thing, didn’t you?
Ailura: x_x..
Xion: yeah, I
thought so. Now if you’ll excuse me..
*He resumes his
mission! Getting that damn briefcase! HOWEEEEEVER..
Ailura isn’t ready to give up without a fight! Not even after that amazing
combination attack Xion just hit her with! She starts to stand up, and fires
another one of those “Bolt of the God” attacks! Having his back turned, Xion
has no way to defend himself, and it nails him dead on! He stumbles forward a
few steps, then turns back to his downed opponent*
Ailura: >_< !!!
Xion: X_x!
>=|! You know that’s getting pretty annoying!
*He turns back
around and climbs the first rope! Ailura fires another Bolt! Xion’s patience is
wearing realllllly thin!*
Ailura: >=|!!
Xion: e_e!! I’m
asking you to stop hitting me with that attack!
*He turns around
and ZAP! Another shot to the back! He’s had enough!*
Xion: That’s it!
>=|!
*The unborn leaps
off of the ropes, and lands with BOTH feet on Ailura’s
left hand, destroying just about all of the bones inside of it! Ailura screams
like a banshee while writhing in pain! (Millia: ^_^!!!)*
Ailura:
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! X_X_X
Xion: There! No
left arm, no bolt thingie!
Ailura: X_x.. how did.. you..
Xion: Well you
weren’t trying to make it look inconspicuous >=\ next time at least try to
trick me into thinking you can perform it with EITHER hand. *sighs*
Ailura: .. GRRR!!!
*Xion’s right!
However, she CAN use another attack with her right arm, and that would be
the--*
Ailura:
ENCHANTED INFERNO!!!!
*That’s right,
those magical red hot flames explode from Ailura’s pissed off aura, and nail
Xion dead on! How hot is it??*
Xion: AHHH!!
X________X!!! I’M BACK IN
*I wouldn’t worry
about the heat Xion my boy, because now Ailura is back to her vertical base.. and she has her trident in hand!
With a Sammy Sosa like swing, she literally BREAKS. BREAKS BREAKS BREAKS BREAKS
the damn thing over his head! The fans almost FAINT with
sympathy pains!*
Crowd:
OOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Xion:
X______X!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*It rocks him so
hard, that he dribbles something out in swedish that
probably means “OWWW!!! X_x!!” And Ailura’s not done
either! She unleashes another attack.. this time, the WHITE WINDS! This attack was used on Burter
several years ago by Hystalin, which ultimately resulted in his defeat! Xion is
caught in the attack at full blast, and it immediately starts to take effect!*
Xion: O__O!! OH
NO!! NO!! MY POWERS!! THEY’RE MELTING AWAY!! MELTING!! MELTING!! ;_;!!
Ailura:
>=)!!!!
*It looks like
Xion’s wise cracking jokes are coming back to bite him in the ass!! Ailura then
tosses his narrow behind into the air, and when he begins his descent, she
nails him with a spinning heel kick that sends him flying back about twenty
feet!!!!*
Xion: X__X
Crowd: O___O!!
*INCOMING SEXY
SWEDE! INCOMING SEXY SWEDE! o_o.. O_O! I’M NOT GAY!
Anyway x_X He lands in the crowd! Ailura finishes up by preforming one more
magical spell..*
Ailura:
ENCHANTED BLIZZARD!
*A beam of ice
emits from her body, across the arena and BAM! Right on Xion and the fans who
are sitting around him! They’re literally covered in a block of ice!*
Xion and the
fans: X___X!
*This now gives
Ailura the time she needs to make it to the briefcase!*
Ailura: O_O!!
*Unfortunately
for her, using up an immense amount of ki and magic energy has left her tired,
it’s not as easy as you’d think to crawl all the way across the ring, then
CLIMB to the briefcase!*
Ailura: .. *^^*!!!!
*She’s gonna do
it! she’s gonna get the suitcase!!*
!!WHAM!!
*OR NOT!!*
Ailura: o_o!
O_O! HOW?!!?
Xion: ^_^! I
LOVED that movie Swordfish! Remember how the main badguy made a dummy copy of himself and used it to make an escape!?
Ailura:
>=|!!!!
*But Wait! How in
the... o_o But.. X_X!!! I don’t know how he did it,
but Xion avoided the Enchanted Blizzard! With Ailura’s beautiful long white in
his hands, he throws the pussy off of the top rope and to the canvas! It’s
enough to drive the former UCTF Swordmistress champion to the brink of
insanity!! She prepares to pull out an attack she’s never used before! >=|!
SOMETHING HUGE!!!*
Ailura:
e_e!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*She uses her
“DRACONUS SPELL” which turns her into a giant fire-breathing DRAGON!!*
Xion: o_o!!
Ailura: ROAR!!!
Xion: O____O
O_O!!! ... >=\ What the hell? You mean a DRAGON and
a cat had sex to make you? What the hell kind of species mixing is th--X_X_X_X!!
*Ailura wants to
hear NO MORE of this! Xion is grabbed and lifted to the open air roof of the
UCTF arena!!*
Xion: o_o what
are you doing?!
Ailura: GETTING
RID OF YOU!! >=|!! GOODBYE
*She winds up and
the pitch!! Xion is hurled into the dark night of
Fans:
o_o..............
Ralph: o_o whoa..
Yuri: I can’t
believe we’ve just witnessed Ailura transform into a dragon and throw her
opponent out of the arena!
Rock: SEE THIS TYPE
OF ACTION AND MORE IN THE ROCK’S NEW MOVIE, HELLDORADO!
Ralph: Rock if you
keep talking about that fucking movie!!! >=|!!
*The Dragon turns
back around, and returns to her normal, much smaller form! o_o
With a smile on her face, she prepares to climb up the ropes and grab her
destiny! However, when she tries to move.. she notices something heavy weighing her right arm down..
She looks and sees there’s a ROPE attached to her, and more importantly, the
World Champion attached to the other end of it!*
Ailura: ..w..w...what?!!?
Xion: WHEW!! o_o Thank goodness I just HAPPENED to buy that rope today!
Something just told me I’d be using it, and look at me
now! ^_^
Ailura: you.. YOU GOD MODER!!
Xion: LOL! ^_^
Hey, someone called me that in a chat room today!
Ailura:
>=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Ailura becomes
ENRAGED! And I mean SO enraged, that she goes for an ultimate attack once used
by her sister! It’s called --*
Ailura: ETERNAL
LIGHT!!
*Yes! Hystalin’s ultimate attack, the “Eternal Light!” Ailura had
been charging up while Xion was berating her! The attack connects at point
blank range, and explodes into a flash of bright light that stretches
throughout the UCTF arena! Xion is not only knocked out of the ring, but blown
literally INTO the locker room area from the attack!*
Xion: X_X
Ailura: X___X!!!
Crowd: HOLY
SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
*This is it! The
change Ailura’s big break! She crawls towards the corner!*
Ailura: x_x...
Everyone: o_o!!
*She’s back to
her feet, and she’s slowly climbed to the top rope! She’s literally TOUCHING
the briefcase with the tips of her fingers!*
!!THOOOM!!
*But Xion has
ripped through the Jumbotron, now in his UNBORN stage!*
Unborn:
>=|!!!!!!!!!!
*Ailura is
grabbed from behind by the unborn, and railed into the very pole holding the
briefcase! She destroys the pole FACE FIRST shattering not only the steel, but
her nose in the process!*
Crowd:
OHHHHHHHHH!!!
Ailura:
X______X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ralph: OH MY GOD!!
Foley: ...o_o.. that was sick..
Yuri: Ailura just
went face first through a pure steel pole!!
Rock: The R--
Ralph: If you know
what’s good for you rock.. e_e..
don’t say it.
*The unborn
catches the top part of the pole, and finishes Ailura off by NAILING her in the
top fo her domepiece with it! She’s sent to the
concrete, her final resting place! The beast flips backwards and lands in the
ring.. then slowly returns
back to his bishounen form!*
Xion: e_e.. o_o. oh yeah! ^_^
*He almost
forgot! He reaches up, and unlatches the briefcase from the destroyed pole!*
!!DING DING DING!!
*And with that.. it’s over! X_x..
Xion not only advances to the next round of the UCTF Grand Championship
Tournament, but he gets the honor of being Ailura DeWarrloc’s final UCTF
opponent! Security quickly rushes the scene and escorts the unconscious
DeWarrloc sister out of the UCTF Arena, as she is now TRESPASSING!*
Winner and STILL
UCTF World Champion: Xion
Yuri: .. ;_;.. there she goes..
Rock: That was
entertaining.. but not as
entertaining as my new movie HELLDO--
*RALPH PULLS OUT A GUN!*
Ralph: SHUT THE
FUCK...SHUT .. ARLKGHGH!!! >=|!! DIDN'T I TELL... X___XX!!! OOOH SHIT!! >=|!!! SAY ANOTHER WORD ROCK.
SAY ANOTHER WORD! >=|!!
Rock: o_o..
Foley: umm. Ra--
Ralph: YOU TOO OLD
MAN! >=| TAKE YOUR SELL OUT FRIEND AND GET THE HELL OFF MY SET!! NOW!! GO!!
>=|!!
*Foley and The
Rock escape after sucessfully plugging their respective projects.. well ,atleast The Rock got to
x_x.. Meanwhile, Xion gets hoisted onto the fans shoulders like Kurt Angle and
carried throughout the crowd!*
Xion: ^_^! Hey,
watch that hand! ... except for you.. touch whereever you want to H_H
Ralph: e_e.. sorry about that Yuri. He pissed
me off.
Yuri: o_o... no
problem...
*"Living in
America" is keyed up, drawing HUGE heel heat from the crowd, as down the
aisle comes none other than the lawyer who could've gotten ADOLF HITLER off the
hook, Johnny Cockring!*
Crowd:
BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Ralph: Now what the
hell is this!?
Yuri: I don't
know... but even stranger is that he's ALONE!
*That's
right! Johnny is all alone, but is
looking PISSED! He walks down the ring,
with the crowd throwing garbage at him!*
Johnny:
>=|....
Crowd: COCKRING
DRINKS CUM! *CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP* COCKRING DRINKS
CUM! *CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP*
Ralph: LOL! Looks
like the
*Cockring steps
into the ring, and pulls a mic out of his jacket! He waits for a full MINUTE before the crowd
stops booing!*
Cockring:
e_e....
*And even THEN
the crowd is still booing when he starts talking!*
Cockring: I am
out here tonight... to address a certain individual here in the UCTF... not a
fighter... not a commentator.... but a certain... referee. e_e
Ralph:
.....referee?
Cockring:
THROUGHOUT the past few weeks... I have not been able to able to accompany to
the ring, and neither has Pink Tsunami been able to accompany, Kunoi
Ishigami. >=| Nearly EVERY TIME, both myself, and the
members of Pink Tsunami have been sent away from the ring, and PREVENTED from
doing the most BASIC of tasks... and that's accompanying our leader, Kunoi
Ishigami. e_e
Crowd: BOOOOO!!
Ralph: Yeah,
"accompany." Sure. >=\
Yuri: You REALLY
think he'd admit to "helping out" as well?
Cockring: That
man... is referee Glen Sanchos. e_e
Crowd: *POPS!!!*
Cockring: Glen
Sanchos... is quite possibly... the WORST, most CROOKED, most BIASED referee I
have EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!! >=|!!!!
Crowd: *HUGE
HEEL HEAT*
Cockring: If I
had it my way... GLEN SANCHOS WOULD'VE BEEN FIRED ON THE SPOT FOR SUCH
INCOMPETENCE!!! >=|!!!
Crowd: *BOOS
LIKE HELL*
Cockring: e_e...
but Glen Sanchos has something that most UCTF referees have.... tenure.
Crowd: *HUGE
POP!!*
Ralph: Since when
did they have that?! o_O??
Yuri: Ralph, when's
the last time you ever saw a ref get fired?
Ralph: ...good
point.
Cockring: So
tonight... I'm asking for Glen Sanchos to come out here, into this ring, and
FACE me! >=|!
Crowd: O_O! *POPS!!*
Yuri: Did he
just... CALL OUT Glen Sanchos??
Ralph: Yes, he
did... x_X
*Cockring turns
to the entry ramp, and waits, with the STERNEST look on his face! The crowd then lets out a HUGE pop as Glen
comes out from behind the curtain! He
has NO MUSIC or anything, but is coming out in his now-trademark leather chaps
over jeans! He slowly walks down to the
ring, and walks up the Cockring!*
Glen: e_e...
*He has a good
two inches in height over Cockring, but the asshole lawyer doesn't back
down! He instead brings the mic up to
his lips again!*
Cockring:
Glen... you think you're tough? >=| You think you can
intimidate someone like me??
*Glen doesn't say
anything! He just put his hands on his
hips, and stares down Cockring!*
Cockring: Well
then, Mr. Sanchos... you may prove to be a tough referee... but just HOW tough
are you... in a match? >=)
Crowd: *HUGE
POP*
Glen: =|
Cockring: I may
not be able to get you fired... but I have managed to put together a little...
let's say... "test" for you tonight. Tonight... you're going to face a member of
Pink Tsunami in a match... The Hurricane!
*The crowd lets
out a HUGE cheer! Glen says NOTHING, but
only takes a step back, leaning up against the ropes!*
!!!STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH!!!!!
*"Eye of the
Hurricane" is keyed up, drawing a mixed reaction from the crowd, as the
Former WWE Cruiserweight and Tag Team Champion, The Hurricane, makes his way
down the ramp!*
Ralph: Is this for
real!?
Yuri: This isn't
right! Glen's only a referee! And he's making him fight the Hurricane?!
*The Hurricane
steps into the ring, and does his superhero pose right in front of Glen!*
Hurricane:
>=D!
Glen: e_e....
*Cockring is just
about to climb out of the ring, but he then brings the mic up to his lips
again!*
Cockring: Oh,
and one more thing, Glen... the referee for this match... will be none other
than Guy Lombardo. >=)
Crowd: *BOOS
LIKE HELL!*
Ralph: AWWW, SON OF
A BITCH!! >=(
*The grey-haired,
MOST HATED referee in the UCTF makes his way down the ring, with a HUGE smirk
on his face!*
Guy: >=)
*Guy rolls into
the ring, and calls for the bell!*
*DING, DING,
DING!!!*
Yuri: And we have
an impromptu match here!
Ralph: MATCH? Look at this!
It's a referee against a wrestler! >=(
*Hurricane and
Glen both circle each other, and Hurricane charges! He knees guy in the gut, doubling him
over! Hurricane gives Glen a quick
hiptoss, and locks on an armbar! He
breaks it, and whips Glen into the corner!*
Glen: >_<
*Hurricane gets a
running start, and leaps at Glen! He
lands on him, and grabs his head in a DDT position! But, Glen SHOVES Hurricane off, sending him
halfway across the ring!*
Hurricane: o_o!
Crowd:
O_O!!! *HUGE POP!!!*
*EVERYONE is
stunned! ESPECIALLY Cockring! Hurricane gets to his feet, and charges
Glen!*
!!!!!TWACCCKKKK!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOHHH!!!
*But Glen rears back, and BELTS Hurricane right in the face with a
roundhouse punch! Hurricane goes
FLIPPING to the mat! Glen runs after
Hurricane, and just as he's getting up, Hurricane gets LEVELED by a
clothesline!*
Hurricane: X___X!!
Ralph: *SPIT TAKE* WHAT THE HELL!?
*Glen then MOUNTS
Hurricane, and starts PUMMELING him, UFC-Style!! He even stops, and goes into a FEIRCE armbar
on Hurricane, then flipping him over, and starts kneeing him in the head!!*
Crowd:
*ABSOLUTELY FUCKING EXPLODES*
Yuri:
O_O!!! WHAT A COMBO!!!
*Glen backs off,
allowing Hurricane to get up! Hurrcane
stumbles towards him, and then hits him with a low blow, knocking him to his
knees!*
Glen: x_x....
*Hurricane
bounces off the ropes, and leaps forward with the Shining Wizard! But, Glen CATCHES Hurricane's damn foot in
mid-air, and FLIPS him over into the anklelock!
And it isn't any pussy Kurt Angle "sports entertainment"
anklelock... IT'S A FULL-ON KEN SHAMROCK ANKLELOCK! >=|!!!)
Hurricane:
AAAUUGHHH!!!! X____X!
*Hurrcane starts
tapping like Gregory Hines on speed! But
instead of calling for the bell, Guy Lombardo suddenly PUNCHES Glen in the back
of the head, breaking the hold!*
Crowd: *HUGE
HEEL HEAT*
Ralph: Oh, come on!
Yuri: A
set-up! That's all this was!!
*Hurricane rolls
out of the ring, and Guy picks up Glen!
He knees him in the gut, and hoists the referee up onto his shoulders!*
Ralph: No way....
!!!!!BLAAAOOOWW!!!!
*Guy gives Glen a
damn F-5 to the mat, drawing HUGE heel heat from the crowd! Cockring then slides into the ring, with a
HUGE smile on his face!*
Cockring: Hoist
his ass up! >=|!!
*Guy picks up
Glen in a full nelson, and Cockring gets into position! He rears back....*
!!!!SMAAACCCKKK!!!!
*And CLOBBERS
Glen with a spin kick right to the face! Guy rolls with the momentum, and gives Glen a
full nelson suplex to the mat! The crowd
is LIVID!*
Yuri: WOW!! Did you SEE that kick?!
Ralph: This is the
most bizarre thing I've ever seen... referees who wrestle... Lawyers who KICK?!
W What's ne-... SUE!!!
*The crowd
EXPLODES in cheers, as EVERYONE's favorite referee/backstage interviewer is
making a BEELINE to the ring! Cockring
and Guy have their backs turned, as Sue slides in!*
Sue: >=|!!!
*She grabs Guy
from behind, and hoists him up!!*
!!!!BLAAAOOWWW!!!!
*Sue then DRILLS
him with a burning hammer!!*
Crowd: *HUGE
POP!!!!*
Ralph:
X___X!!!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!
Yuri: I knew hiring
her was a good idea! ^___^!!!
*Cockring sees Sue, and HAULS ASS out of the ring, and starts making his
way up the ramp, with Guy and Hurricane both stumbling along with him! Sue stands on the middle rope, taunting them
as Glen is getting up, holding his head!*
Yuri: Wow! THIS is certainly a HUGE suprise!
Ralph: Three of the
most UNLIKELY of fighters have emerged here tonight! x_X One has to wonder what's going to
happen next!
Announcer:
Ladies and Gentlemen.... the following match.... is the Fatal Four Way
Match....
Crowd: *HUGE
POP!*
Annoucer: And it
is for the UCTF Anime Championship!!
Countdown vs Chastity
Marks vs S³ vs Suicide
Fatal
Yuri: And here it
is! The main event! The Anime Championship match!
Ralph: What was it
like when you refereed that one fatal four way a few months ago?
Yuri: Um, besides Raven trying to kill me?
It was a blast! ^_^
*"The End is
Over" is keyed up first, drawing a decent amount of heel heat from the
crowd, as the Best Dressed Masked Wrestler in the Business Countdown comes out
from behind the curtain! In his right
hand, he's carrying a steel chair, painted with the Barf Burger logo on it!*
Yuri: And here come
the no-good turncoat sellout Countdown! >=\
Ralph: This spot
was supposed to be Andre Tau's, but due to Countdown's attack last week, he has taken his former tag team partner's spot here
in this match!
*Countdown rolls
into the ring, and holds the chair high above his head!*
Countdown:
>=D!
Crowd: *BOOS*
*He whips off his
"THE COUNTDOWN TO END YOUR HUNGER HAS BEGUN" shirt, and throws it
into the crowd just as....*
fourtune fame...
mirror, vain...
gone insane...
Crowd: BUT THE
MEMORY REMAINS!!!!! *POPS!!*
*The crowd lets
out a HUGE reaction as from behind the curtain saunters the sultry vampire
Chastity Marks! She poses for the crowd
at the top of the ramp, and she's carrying a sack alongside her!*
Yuri: And it looks
like Chastity is carrying something of her own into this match!
Ralph: *has his
head in his hands*
Yuri: S'matter,
Ralph?
Ralph: I still
can't believe she's 50. ;_;
Yuri: Awwwww... do
you need a hug?
Ralph: Yes. ;_;
*As Yuri's giving
Ralph his hug, Chaz rolls into the ring, and climbs the turnbuckle, posing with
the bag before tossing it into the corner!*
....*tckt, tckt, tckt, tckt*......
*The sounds of
drumsticks clacking and the hard guitar riff draws HUGE heel heat from the
crowd as "Testing" is keyed up, and out from behind the curtain comes
Shawn Shane Shields! He's got his
"S³" shirt on Scott Hall style, and has his trusty shopping cart with
him, with a LADDER in it!*
Ralph: And here
comes that asshole who I had to sit next to all last week after he bumped off
my- *COVERS HIS MOUTH*
Yuri: e_e Ralph...
say what you want. I won't let Vegeta
fire you.
Ralph: o_o...
you... you mean it?
Yuri: Yes.
Ralph: ;_;! SSS IS AN
ASSHOLE! >=| *to Yuri* I love you. x_x
Yuri: No
problem. ^.^
*Shawn wheels the
cart down to ringside, and slides the ladder into the ring! He wheels the cart off to the side before
heading over to a section of the crowd, where a group of kids are actually
CHEERING him!*
Shawn: >=)
*He walks over,
and high fives the kids, who are sitting on a piss-poor ratty-ass couch at
ringside!*
Ralph: Oh no...
THEY'RE here again?
Yuri: Shawn must
look out for his friends a lot, with getting them into shows like this!
Ralph: And we know
what happened the last time Shawn's punk friends were
here....
Yuri: LOL! I wonder if Kunoi's balls will EVER recover
from that shot. ^_^
*Shawn slides
into the ring, and shoots a glare at Countdown!*
Shawn: e_e....
Countdown: e_e
*slowly nods*
*Then, "Breaking
Me Down" is keyed up, drawing a HUGE reaction from the crowd, as Suicide
comes out from behind the curtain, with a singapore cane over his shoulder, and
the Anime Title belt hanging off of it!
He flips it up into the air, CATCHES it, and drapes it over his shoulder
before continuing his walk down the ramp!*
Ralph: And a HUGE
reaction for Suicide here!
Yuri: I guess
teaming with Will tends to do that. ^_^
*He slides into
the ring, and hands the anime title belt to the ref! The ref holds it high above his head, before
handing it off to the ring announcer!*
*DING, DING,
DING!!!*
Ralph: And here we
go!!! The Fatal Four Way Match is under
way!
*The four
participants all stand in there respective corners, staring each other down!*
Suicide: >=|
SSS: >=|
Chaz: >=|
Countdown:
>=|
*The tension
could be cut with a KNIFE! The crowd is
going CRAZY as the four stare each other down for a good twenty seconds, before
SSS and Suicide charge at each other, and Chaz and Countdown lock up! Suicide goes for a wild swing with the
Crowd:
OOOHHH!!!!
Yuri: And a BURST
of action to start out with!
Ralph: Damn... that
much in thirty seconds! x_X
*Suicide gets up,
and is leveled by a clothesline from Countdown!
Countdown lifts up Suicide off the mat, and whips him into the ropes,
and back body drops the champion over his head!
Shawn is in position behind him, and CATCHES Suicide, powerbombing him
to the mat!*
Suicide: X_x!
!!!!CRAAACCCKK!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOHHHH!!!!
*But just as he
takes out Suicide, Chaz is back up, and LEVELS Countdown with a chairshot to
the back of the skull! Countdown goes
down towards the corner! Shawn charges
Chaz, and grabs her, knocking the chair out of her hands, and pushing her back
up against the ropes! But, Chaz manages
to sidestep, and tosses Shawn through the ropes to the outside! Shawn flips through, and
flops down onto the concrete floor!*
Yuri: Chastity
taking charge of the match here!
*Chaz goes over
to Suicide, and pulls his body up! She
hits him in the gut a few times, before open-palm slamming him on the side of
the head before whipping him into the corner!
She then picks up Countdown, and whips him INTO Suicide! Countdown falls flat on his back, and Suicide
lands face-first in Countdown's CROTCH!*
!!!!ding!!!!
Suicide: x_x
Countdown:
X______X!!!!!
Crowd: LOL!!!
*On the other
side of the ring, though, Shawn's sliding in, and has his ladder with him! He perches it on his shoulder, and charges
Chaz! Chaz turns around, and HALF a
second later, Shawn DRIVES the ladder into her temple!*
!!!BLAAAOOOWW!!!
Crowd:
OOOHHHH!!!!!
*Shawn then takes
the ladder, and drops it across the bodies of Suicide and Countdown! He then jumps over them onto the top rope,
and dives off into a legdrop, driving the ladder into their bodies!*
Ralph: And Shawn
has managed to take out the three with that ladder!
Yuri: The ref's
starting the 10 count!
*The ref is
starting the 10 count, as per the "Last Man Standing" rules, but
Shawn grabs his hand!*
Ref: o_o
Shawn: *shakes
his head* Not yet. >=|
*Shawn slides out
of the ring, and tosses his shopping cart over the top rope! He then reaches under the ring, and pulls out
a long box!*
Ralph: What's he
got there??
*Shawn slides
into the ring, then opens the box... causing several long flourescent
lightbulbs to drop out onto the canvas!
The crowd EXPLODES at the sight of the weapons!*
Ralph: Ooohhh,
shit. x_X
Yuri: This match is
going to get out of hand in a hurry! x_X
*Chaz is the
first to get up, and sees Shawn! Shawn
actually tosses her one of the lightbulbs, and she catches it!*
Chaz: o_o...
Shawn: *beckons*
>=)
*The two then
start stalking each other around the ring, brandishing the lighttubes like
swords! They both then charge, and
swing!*
!!!!CRASSSHHHH!!!!!
*The two
lighttubes EXPLODE, sending shards all over the ring! But, Shawn and Chaz's bulbs had hit each
other, and shattered in mid-air between them!*
Chaz: o_o...
Shawn: o_o....
Ralph: LOL!! So much for that one.
^_^
Yuri: I'd be
careful, though... there are STILL at least ten lightbulbs in there!
Ralph: Yeah... x_X
*They both toss
aside their useless stubs, and lock up in the center of the ring! It doesn't last long, however, as they hear a
whistling from the corner!*
Chaz &
Shawn: *turn* o_o
!!!!BLAAAAOOOWWW!!!!!
*Both Suicide and
Countdown charge them, holding both sides of the ladder, hitting both Chaz and
Shawn! They then hold the ladder above
them, slamming it down onto their bodies!
Suicide and Countdown then bounce off the ropes, and deliver DOUBLE
Shining Elbow Drops onto the ladder, and Shawn and Chaz!*
Ralph: And the
momentum has shifted AGAIN in this match!
Yuri: All four
fighters are DRIVEN by the desire to win that Anime Title!
*Countdown gives
Suicide a quick thumbs up, but Suicide will have
NOTHING of it, and kicks him in the midsection!
He then hoists Countdown up, and sidewalk slams him onto the ladder,
which is STILL sitting on top of Shawn and Chaz!*
!!!!!!BLAAOOWWW!!!!
Crowd:
OOOHHHH!!!
*Chaz and Shawn
both roll out from under the ladder and out of the ring in pain, as Suicide
ascends to the top rope! Countdown is
still laying on the ladder!*
Ralph: Uh oh!!!
Yuri: SMART BOMB
coming up!!!
*Suicide gives a
quick salute to the crowd, then takes flight! But, Countdown rolls off the ladder, and
Suicide lands on it!!*
!!!!CRASHHH!!!!
Crowd:
OOOHHHH!!!!
*Suicide is OUT,
alongside of Countdown!*
Crowd: *chants*
YOU FUCKED UP!! YOU FUCKED UP!!! YOU FUCKED UP!!!!
*Shawn reaches
into the ring, and yanks out Countdown, while Chaz reaches in and yanks out
Suicide! The four then start brawling
out on the floor! Shawn tries to whip
Countdown into the guardrail, but Countdown reverses it, and Shawn goes
FLIPPING over the guardrail! Countdown
follows him, and they go brawling into the crowd!Chaz,
meanwhile, hoists Suicide onto her shoulder, and RAMS him head first into the
ring post! Suicide drops down, and
stumbles over, and ends up doubled over the guardrail! Chaz goes over, and yanks him back, throwing
him into the ring!*
Ralph: And the four
have split up!
Yuri: And Chaz is
alone with Suicide! This is something
Chaz has wanted for MONTHS!
*The crowd is
going NUTS! Suicide is slowly getting up
to his feet, and suddenly jerks up when he realizes he's ALONE with Chaz!*
Suicide: O_O!!!!
Chaz: *licks her
lips* >=D!!!
*Suicide, in a
panic, charges Chaz! Chaz ducks his wild
punch, and as he spins aroound, Chaz catches him in the chin with a Savate
kick!*
!!!SMACCKK!!!
Crowd:
OOOHHH!!!!
*Suicide is
knocked back into the corner! Chaz
charges at him, and jumps into a flying dropkick, driving both heels into his
chest! Suicide staggers out of the
corner, then flops down onto the mat, rolling onto his
back! Chaz hops up onto the top rope,
and leaps off, driving both of her feet into Suicide's chest while he's on the
ground!*
!!!BLAAOOOWW!!!
Suicide:
X____X!!!
Yuri: Mosh slam!! Suicide's
in BAD trouble!!
*Suicide bounces
off the mat, and ends up doubled over on the ropes, while Chaz picks up the bag
she had brought with her!*
Ralph: Wait...
what's she doing?
*An EVIL smile
crawls over Chaz's face, as she turns the bag over, and dumps it out on the
canvas! The crowd EXPLODES when they see
dozens of DICE spill out onto the mat!*
Ralph: oh no...
Yuri: And it looks
like Chaz has borrowed some supplies from her litte brother here tonight! That ring is now filled with explosive dice!!
*Chaz tosses the
dice aside, and goes over to Suicide!
Suicide, though, punches her in the gut, knocking her back! He fires at her with lefts and rights, trying
to gain momentum! He whips her into the
ropes, at catches her on the way back, and tries to toss her onto the pile of
explosive dice! But, Chaz lands in a
split, and stops INCHES above the dice!*
Crowd:
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! OOOOHHHHH!!!!!
*Suicide,
stunned, is left open for Chaz to chop him in the throat, sending him spilling
through the ropes to the outside! She
rolls forward, and follows him out!
Suicide is staggering around the corner of the ring, When
Chaz grabs him by the back of his shirt!*
!!!!!CRACCKKK!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOHHHH!!!
*But Suicide had
managed to get his trusty kendo stick, and flips it over his head, catching
Chaz in the head with it! Chaz FLIPS
from the shot, and lands spread-eagle on the
floor! Suicide is leaning up against the
guardrail, exhauseted, as the ref starts the count!*
Ref: 1!.......2!........3!.......4!.......5!.....
*Chaz is starting
to get to her feet! But Suicide takes
the time to recouperate, and flips up the ring apron!*
Ralph: And the ref
with the ten count.... but what's suicide doing!? Isn't there ENOUGH out here right now???
*Suicide then
pulls out about three tables, to a HUGE pop from the crowd! He unfolds them, and starts setting them up
at ringside! Chaz, however, manages to
get up at a count of 7, and sees Suicide setting up the tables! She rolls into the ring, and climbs up the
top rope! She waits for Suicide to turn
around, and she leaps off, catching him with a flying cross body, JUST missing
the tables!*
Crowd: *POPS!!!*
*BOTH fighters
are down! The ref is JUST about to start
the 10 count again, when suddenly a commotion in the crowd draws away the
attention!*
Ralph: What the...
Yuri: It's Countdown and Shawn!
They're heading back to the ring!*
*Countdown is
dragging Shawn along by his head, and tosses him over the guardrail, causing
Shawn to flip over! Countdown climbs
over, and rolls Shawn into the ring! He
then grabs Chaz, rolls her in, and rolls in Suicide as well!*
Ralph: And all four
are back in the ring!
*Countdown grabs
Chaz, and whips her into the corner! He
charges at her, but she gets her foot up!
Countdown stumbles forward, and Shawn is just rising up, and knocks him
down with a clothesline! Chaz tries to
attack Shawn from behind, but Shawn hiptosses her over his shoulder! He then goes after countdown again, knocking
him to the outside! Suicide is getting
up, and kicks Chaz in the gut, doubling her over! He's just about to hoist her up, but Shawn
stops him!*
Suicide: o_o...
Shawn:
>=|......
*Then, Shawn
grabs her TOO, and the two of them hoist her up into a powerbomb position,
drawing a HUGE reaction from the crowd!*
Ralph: Oh god no...
NO! THEY WOULDN'T!!!!
Yuri: I'm closing
my eyes!! >_<!!! I'M CLOSING MY
EYES!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
*Suicide and
Shawn give Chaz a double powerbomb ONTO the explosive dice she dumped out onto
the mat! the
ring FILLS with smoke from the explosion!*
Crowd: HO-LY
SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!!! HO-LY SHIT!!!!
Ralph: ;_;!!! MY LITTLE
MOSQUITO!!!
Yuri: Oh... my....
god.... x_X.... can we get a replay of that?!
*The screen
quickly switches to a split-view, showing the double powerbomb again from a
cameraman on the floor! The entire pile
of dice can be see EXPLODING right under her back! The shot then cuts to a SKY CAM over the
ring, showing just how HUGE the explosion was!!*
Yuri: x_x....my
god...
*The smoke starts
to clear, and both Suicide and Shawn are sitting, breathing heavily in corners
of the ring, while Chaz is knocked COMPLETELY out, with huge-ass scorch marks
on her back! The ref has already started
the count!*
Ref:
5!.......6!........7!......8!.......9!......10!
THAT'S IT!!!
*The ref waves
his hands, and the crowd EXPLODES!*
Announcer:
Ladies and Gentlemen.... CHASTITY MARKS HAS BEEN ELMININATED!!!
Yuri: And with the
HUGE double powerbomb onto the explosive dice, Chaz has been elimininated from
this match!!
Ralph: x_x That was a HORRIBLE
way to go....
*Shawn kicks
Chaz's body out of the ring, and Suicide attacks him from behind! He pushes Shawn into the corner, but Shawn
flips backwards over the ropes, and lands feet first on the outside! He then reaches under the ropes, and yanks
Suicide out under the ropes!*
Yuri: And with
Chaz's elmination, this match has now become an I Quit match!
Ralph: One of the
three remaining fighters will HAVE to utter the words "I Quit" to be
eliminated from this match! x_X
*Shawn whips
suicide into the guardrail, and then starts fighting with him up the ramp! The two are continually trading blows, until
Suicide finally gets the upper hand, and haphhazardly throws Shawn into the
steel girder supporting the TitanTron!*
Suicide:
>=|!!
*Suicide grabs
Shawn, and hoists him up onto his shoulders!*
Ralph: He's going
for the courtmarshal up there on the stage!!!
*But, Shawn
manages to slip out of the move, and grabs Suicide for a German Suplex! The champ, though, rolls with it, and lands on his feet!
Shawn tries to go for a back kick, but Suicide catches it! Shawn goes for the enziguri, but Suicide
ducks that too! Suicide then pushes
Shawn's Leg, but Shawn rolls up to his feet!
The two charge at each other, and NAIL double clotheslines on each
other! The two fly INTO the air, and
both land with a thud on the stage!*
Ralph: Suicide and
Shawn both trying to get the best of each other here!
Yuri: Hey, don't
forget about HIM!
*Countdown is now
heading up the ramp, and he has the Barf Burger chair with him! He approaches Suicide, and CLOBBERS him
across the head with the chair! Shawn gets
up, and gets a chair to the head for his troubles! Both Shawn and Suicide are stunned by the
shots, and are teetering on their feet near the entrance!*
Countdown:
>=|!!!!
*Countdown then
charges at them, and DIVES with a double clothesline!*
!!!!BLAAAOOOWWCRASSSHHH!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
*The force behind
the clotheslines is SO hard, that Countdown drives ALL THREE of them THROUGH
the "Ultimate Massacre" sign at the top of the stage!! They all DISAPPEAR into the backstage
area!!!*
Ralph: o_o... and
Countdown sacrificing HIMSELF to try and take out Suicide and Triple S!
Yuri: Oh man... we
NEED a replay on that one!
Ralph: ....cause they're all out and we need to kill time?
Yuri: YEP
*LOL that crazy
Yuri breaking kayfabe.... ANYWAYS. The camera cuts to a backstage camera,
showing Countdown, Suicide, and Shawn all busting THROUGH the sign, and landing
in a heap! Back in real time, the
in-arena cameraman has caught up on the stage, and shows the three men
beginning to stir! Countdown is the
first to get up, and grabs Suicide! He
starts dragging the champ down the ramp, and halfway down suplexes him onto the
harsh steel!*
!!!!THUDDD!!!!
Suicide: x_X!!!
*Countdown gets
up, and rolls Suicide into the ring! He
grabs the shopping cart that Shawn had thrown in earlier, and runs with it,
ramming it into suicide's gut! Suicide
stumbles backwards, and Countdown knocks the cart down onto the mat! He picks up Suicide and sets him up on his
shoulder, upside down!*
Yuri: And Countdown
going for the Mexican Stretch Buster here!
*Countdown points
out to the crowd, and then DROPS Suicide down on his head on the damn shopping
cart!*
!!!!BLAAAOOOWW!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOHHHH!!!!
Ralph: And Suicide
DRIVEN head first into that unforgiving steel shopping cart!
*Suicide is out,
spread-eagle on the mat! Countdown goes
over to the corner of the ring, and picks up the mic!*
Countdown: Now,
Suicide... I want you to tell EVERYONE just what they want to hear right
now! >=D SAY IT! >=|!!
*He JAMS the mic
into Suicide's face!*
Suicide: *pants*
KISS.... MY.... ASS!
>=|!!! x_X!!
Crowd: *HUGE
POP!!!*
*Countdown is
taken aback!*
Countdown:
o_o... >=| Wrong
answer.
*He stomps
Suicide, and then picks him up! He whips
Suicide into the corner, and picks up the ladder in the ring! He charges Suicide in the corner!*
!!!!!CHUHUCKKK!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOHHH!!!!
*Suicide JUST
moves out of the way, and Countdown ends up hitting the turnbuckle, and
slamming HIMSELF into the ladder!
Countdown stumbles out, and Suicide JUST manages to get up the strength
to deliver a dropkick to a HUGE pop!*
Yuri: HE'S
UP!! HE'S UP!!! SUICIDE IS BACK UP!!!
*Suicide grabs
Countdown by his damn mask, and sloppily tosses him across the ring! Countdown flies, and lands STOMACH FIRST over
the shopping cart!*
Countdown:
x_x....
*Suicide then
gets up on TOP of the shopping cart, and then hoists Countdown up into a
tombstone piledriver position! The crowd
start BUZZING as Suicide points to each side of the ring, and gives a double
thumbs down!*
Ralph: This could
be it!! This could be it!!
Yuri: Suicide can
put Countdown away here!!
*But, Countdown
starts wrangling with his legs, and Sucide falls BACK off the shopping
cart! Counddown lands on his feet, and
then picks Suicide up into his OWN tombstone!*
!!BLAAAOOOWW!!
Crowd:
OOOOHHH!!!
*suicide gets
DRILLED to the mat!*
Ralph: My GOD! Did you HEAR the imapct of Suicide's skull
against the mat?!
Yuri: Countdown
just might have finished off the champion!
*Countdown slowly
rolls to his feet, and picks up the mic again!
He stands, arrogantly, over Suicide's body!*
Countdown: Now
Suicide... it's time you did the right thing... SAY THAT YOU QUIT!! >=|!!!
*Countdown mounts
one knee, and sicks the mic in Suicide's face!*
Suicide: *heavy
breathing* Not...
gonnna.... HAPPEN!!! X_X
*Countdown is
stunned and LIVID! He takes the mic and
SLAMS Suicide over the head with it!*
Countdown: SAY
IT!!! >=|!!!
Suicide: NO!!!
X___X
*Countdown then
gets up off Suicide!*
Countdown: So
that's how it's going to be, huh? I'm
going to have to KILL YOU to make you say that you quit! >=|
*The crowd lets
out a tirade of boos as Countdown approaches Suicide's body again!*
Countdown: Well
I'll tell you right now... you.... o_O???
>=|!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?
*The crowd is
BUZZING like hell, because they all just noticed, as Countdown did, that the
damn CAGE is being lowered!!*
Ralph: What the
hell?? The cage isn't supposed to be
lowered until later!!
Yuri: HEY!! LOOK!!
*The cameras cut
over to by the stage, where SHAWN is, and he's at the stage hand's contol
panel, and is lowering the cage himself!
Back in the ring, Countdown sees where Shawn is, and
stares a HOLE through the titantron!*
Countdown: Be
right back, punk. >=|
*Countdown THROWS
the mic onto Suicide's body, and slides under the ropes just as the cage lowers
into place! He starts making his way up
the ramp, as Shawn slides up onto it himself!
Shawn walks down as Countdown is running towards him! Shawn is ready, though, and almost LETS
Countdown hit him with a DEVESTATING clothesline! But Shawn ROLLS with it, and ends up on his
feet!*
Countdown:
O_O!!!
*Shawn then
charges forward, and LEVELS Countdown with a devestating spear!*
Yuri: SPEAR!! Countdown's DOWN!!
*Shawn picks up Countdown,
and brings him down towards the ring! He
takes Countdown's head, and SLAMS it into the cage wall! Countdown stumbles away, but Shawn catches
him from behind, and SLAMS him to the floor with a HARSH german suplex! Countdown FLIPS with it,
and ends up in a sitting position on the floor!
Shawn gets into a ready position and charges!*
!!!!!SMACCCKKK!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOOHHHHHH!!!!
Ralph: SHINING
WIZARD! SHINING WIZARD!!!! THAT'S IT!!!
COUNTDOWN HAS TO BE OUT!!!
*But instead of
going for the mic, Shawn reaches into his back pocket for something!*
Yuri: What is he...
Ralph: ......NO
*Shawn holds up
for all the crowd to see... A PAIR OF HANDCUFFS*
Crowd: *BUZZES*
*Shawn takes
Countdown's LEG, and cuffs it to the cage wall!
He then takes out another pair, and cuffs his OTHER leg to the damn
cage! Shawn then starts heading back
towards the stage!*
Shawn: *to a
stage hand* RAISE
IT UP! >=|
Stage Hand:
o_o...
*Shawn SHOVES the
stage hand out of the way, and then starts raising the cage himself! He raises it until it's about halfway up, and
stops, leaving countdown DANGLING from the cage!*
Ralph: Oh god...
what's he going to do NOW?!
*Shawn makes his
way back down the ramp, and into the ring!
He smacks Suicide over the head to wake him up, and points to
Countdown's prone body!*
Suicide: o_o....
>=)
*The two then
grab FISTFULS of the flourescent lightbulbs Shawn had brought into the match
earlier, and slide out of the ring!
Shawn points to Suicide, and Suicide swings with one of the bulbs!!!*
!!!!PSSSSHHHH!!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOOOHH!!!
*Suicide breaks
the lightbulb RIGHT over Countdown's GUT!
Shawn then RIPS open countdown's shirt, and swings a bulb of his own!!*
!!!!!PSSSSHHHH!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOOHHH!!!!
Countdown:
*SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Ralph: Good god...
GOOD GOD!! THIS IS SICK!
Yuri: I can't look!
>_< !!!
*Suicide and
Shawn both take TURNS breaking the lightbulbs over Countdown's gut!*
!!!CRSSHHHH!!!!
!!!PSSSHHHHH!!!!
!!!!PPPPSSSHHH!!!!
!!!!!!SMAAAASSSHHHH!!!!!!
Countdown: @Y!(&^@!(&^!@#(&!@!!!!!
*Shawn even HOLDS
a lightbulb over Countdown's gut, and Suicide SUPERKICKS the bulb into
Countdown's gut! Blood is STREAMING down
his body, and staining his clothes and mask!*
Ralph: FOR THE LOVE
OF GOD!! JUST ASK HIM IF HE
QUITS!!! >=|!!!
*Shawn reaches
into the ring, and pulls out the mic!*
Shawn: Now
Countdown... no more fucking around.... DO.... YOU.... QUIT???
*He holds the mic
up to Countdown's bloodstained mask!*
Countdown:
*heavy breathing*
please.... x_X just....
stop....
!!!PSSSSHHH!!!!
*Suicide breaks
ONE MORE lightbulb over his gut!*
Countdown:
AAAUUUGHHH!!! I QUIT!!! I QUIT!!!
I QUIT!!!!!!!!
Crowd: *HUGE
POP!!!*
Ralph: HE SAID
IT! THANK GOD HE SAID IT!!! >=|
Yuri: And this
match is down to two!
*JUST as Countdown
says the magic words, the cage starts to lower back down, and stage hands try
to free him! Suicide is looking on, but
Shawn is watching HIM!*
Shawn: >=D
!!!!!PSSHHH!!!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOOHHHH!!!!!!!!
*Shawn breaks the
LAST lightbulb over Suicide's damn HEAD!
The champ goes FLYING back, and lands on his stomach, his forehead
busted open!*
Ralph: Oh, come
on! That was a cheap shot!
Yuri: Shawn trying
to get the advantage over Suicide, heading into the final stages of this
match!!
*Shawn picks up
Suicide, and whips him INTO the damn cage!
Suicide bounces off, and Shawn catches him into a backdrop onto the damn
concrete floor!*
!!!SMAACCCKK!!!!
Suicide:
x_x.....
*Shawn picks up
Suicide, and brings him over to the cage door, throwing him in! Shawn slides in himself, and starts laying
the boots into Suicide!*
Yuri: And here we
go! A cage match now!
Ralph: Uhh.. is it whomever climbs out first
wins?
Yuri: I guess? o_O? How ELSE would
you win a cage match?
*Shawn picks up
Suicide, but Suicide drives his arm into Shawn's balls with a low blow! Shawn stumbles back, holding his crotch, and Suicide SHOVES him into the cage wall!! Shawn hits it FACE first! Suicide gets to his feet, and grabs Shawn by
the head, GRINDING his face into the cage!
He throws Shawn down to the mat, and now SHAWN'S face is bleeding!*
Ralph: Now that's
just SICK. >_<
*Suicide,
exhausted, stumbles over to the corner, and picks up the battered ladder! He lays it up against the cage wall, and then
picks up Shawn! He hooks Shawn's arm, and stuggles before lifting him up! He stalls with Shawn up into the air, and
falls back with him, SLAMMING him into the ladder!*
!!!BLAAAOOOOWW!!!
Crowd:
OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
*The ladder BENDS
under Shawn's weight! He rolls off and
onto the mat, next to Suicide! Both men
are OUT!*
Ralph: My god....
what a hellacious match this is!!
Yuri: These two
have been going through HELL here!
Ralph: There's tables and broken glass on the outside, bent chairs
and ladders on the inside...
Yuri: AND there are
two fighters that are probably halfway to the hospital by now!
*Both Shawn and
Suicide are slowly rising to their feet!
Suicide is the first to get up... looks over at Shawn, then starts
scaling the cage!*
Ralph: And Suicide
is trying to make it over the cage!
*Shawn sees
Suicide climbing, and starts climbing up himself! The crowd starts going WILD as the two are
near the top! Suicide swings one leg
over, but before he can get over the other, he see
Shawn holding onto it! Shawn then pulls
himself up onto the top of the cage, and fires off a punch at Suicide! Suicide falls back a bit with the punch, then fires back with one of his own! The two go blow for blow at the top of the
cage!*
Yuri: Oh my god...
this is NOT looking good!
Ralph: One of these
men is going to be the winner... and the loser is in for a HELL of a ride!!
*Suicide goes for
a thumb to the eye, stunning Shawn for a moment! He then grabs Shawn by the head, and the
crowd suddenly explodes into cheers!
Suicide grabs the back of Shawn's head, and suddenly JUMPS off the cage
with it!*
Yuri: OH MY GOD!
Ralph:
INCOMING!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!CRAAAAASSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Suicide JUMPS
off with Shawn, and to the outside! The
two of them go FLYING, and crash RIGHT through the tables that Suicide had set
up WAY earlier!*
Crowd: HO-LY
SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!!! HO-LY SHIT!!!! HO-LY SHIT!!!!
Yuri: DEAR GOD!!!
Ralph: THAT KILLED
THEM! THAT KILLED THEM!!! X_X
Yuri: Suicide AND
Shawn both went CRASHING through those tables!
*NEITHER Shawn or Suicide are moving!
The ref climbs out of the ring, and even feels for a pulse on them! He doesn't know WHAT to do!*
Ralph: Wait a
minute... who's feet touched the floor first??
Yuri: Yeah! Who won the match!?
*The titantron
cuts to a replay, which shows an angle from the floor, and Shawn and Suicide
falling through the tables! The tape is
even REPLAYED in slow motion! BOTH times
it shows BOTH fighter's feet touching the floor at the
same time!*
Yuri: o_o... it's a
draw.
Ralph: WHAT!?!
*The ref watches
the tape, and goes over to the ring announcer!*
Announcer:
o_o... Ladies and Gentlemen... it is by the referee's decision that both
Suicide's and Triple S's feet touched the floor at the same time! Therefore... this match is being ruled... A
DRAW!!
Crowd:
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Ralph: Oh COME
ON! You can't do that! That's bullshit! >=|
Yuri: Still was a
hell of a match, though... x_X
WINNER: Draw
*Suicide and
Shawn both SLOWLY get up to their feet, and Suicide looks around for his anime
title belt! Being a draw and all, he
thinks he still should be champion!*
Suicide: *pants*
Where's... my... BELT!? >=|
Ref: o_o;;;;
*Suddenly,
VEGETA'S face appears on the titantron!*
Ralph: Wait, VEGETA??
Yuri: Maybe HE'LL
shine some light on this situation!
Vegeta: Well,
well, well... you two sure have put on an entertaining match here tonight...
but tell me, since WHEN was it declared that the cage match would be won by way
of a climb out?
Everyone:
o_o....
Vegeta:
Suicide... if you want your belt... take look above the ring. >=)
*EVERYONE looks
above the ring, and the crowd EXPLODES as they see the Anime title belt come
down from the rafters!*
Ralph:
Yuri: He wouldn't!!
Vegeta: The winner
of this match will be the one who gets that belt first. Use whatever means you have to. Have fun, boys! ^_^
*Vegeta's face
disappears from the titantron, and the crowd is cheering like HELL!*
Ralph: And this
match has just turned into... a sick combonation of a cage and a ladder match!
o_O
Yuri:
Unbelievable! I have NEVER seen anything
like this in my life!
*Suicide is
BESIDE himself, but Shawn runs and attacks him!
He SLAMS Suicide's head into the cage wall
several times, then goes over to the cage door!
He swings the door, SLAMMING it into Suicide's FACE, sending the
champion down to the floor!*
Suicide: X_X!!!
*Shawn then
slides into the ring, and tries to set up the ladder that was in there! But, the ladder is so beat up and so shitty,
that he can HARDLY stand it up in the middle of the ring! Shawn starts to climb it, but halfway up, the
damn thing COLLAPSES on itself, throwing Shawn down to the mat!!*
Crowd:
OOOOOHHHH!!!
Ralph: Shawn isn't
going to get the belt with THAT ladder!
*Shawn, exhausted and his face covered in blood, crawls
towards the cage door! But just as he is
about to climb out, Suicide is up, and SLAMS it into his face!*
!!!!!BLAAAOOOOWW!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOOHHHHHH!!!!
*Shawn is knocked
OUT! He ends up doubled over the side of
the apron, with his arms dangling!
Suicide then starts stumbling over to the ramp, and lifts it up!*
Ralph: Oh no... not the fifty footer... ANYTHING but that one again!! X_x...
*But when
Suicide, goes to pull out the fifty foot ladder, he only pulls out a little
STUMP of a three-footer!!!*
Suicide: O_o!??!
*Suicide reaches
under, and pulls out the ladder... IN SEVEN PIECES!*
Crowd: LOL!!!!!
Suicide:
>=|!!!
*Suicide, pissed
off, turns back to the ring, where he sees Shawn scaling the cage! In a bit of a panic, Suicide staggers to the
cage, and starts climbing in from the outside!
Shawn, exhausted, reaches the top, and slowly stands as Suicide is just
reaching it!*
Ralph: How's he
supposed to reach the belt!?
Yuri: I think I
know... but I wish I didn't!! >_< !!!
*Shawn gathers up
EVERY bit of will inside of him, and JUMPS towards the middle of the cage! He then GRABS the belt in mid-air, and is
hanging from it! He SWINGS through the
air to the buzzing of hte crowd!*
Ralph: He's got
it! He's got it! All he has to do it get it off of there!!!!
*But Suicide is
at the top, and HE leaps off! He catches
Shawn in the air with a flying dropkick, and the two go CRASHING down to the
mat!*
!!!BLAAAOOOOWW!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Ralph: GOOD
GOD!!! DID YOU SEE THAT!?
Yuri: I just saw
two HUMAN BEINGS go flying down to the mat!
*BOTH men are out
again! But they MUST be running on PURE
adrenaline, as the two get up within SECONDS, and are both scaling the cage
again!*
Ralph: DAMN! Do they ever stop!?
*Shawn is the
first to get to the top, and is in the opposide corner of Suicide, who's JUST
below the top! Shawn, quite possibly
making the STUIPIDEST decision of his life, waits for the belt to swing close,
and leaps, grabbing it! But, instead of
trying to rip the belt off, he SWINGS across the ring to suicide!!*
Shawn: >=|!!!
AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
*He LETS GO, and LANDS with his legs around
the back of Suicide's head! He then
falls back, trying for a hurricanrana!*
Suicide: X______X!!! >=|!!!
*But Suicide
HOLDS ONTO THE TOP OF THE CAGE!! He then
FLIPS Shawn up, so he's SITTING on his shoulders!*
Shawn:
O_____O!!!
*Suicide then
gets up onto the top of the cage, and STANDS on the top, facing towards the
inside of the cage!!*
Ralph: Oh god
no...
*Suicide grabs
Shawn's arms, and then JUMPS OFF THE FUCKING CAGE AGAIN! He YANKS on Shawn's arms, bringing him down
over his head, and lands with Shawn BACK FIRST onto the damn mat!!!*
!!!!BLAAAOOOOWW!!!!!
Crowd:
OOOOOOHHHH!!!!
Ralph: X_x!!! WHat in the hell was THAT!?
Yuri: A modified
Electric chair drop OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!!!
Crowd: HO-LY
SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!! HO-LY SHIT!!!
*Shawn is DEAD
OUT COLD. >=| FUCK ADRENALINE, he's OUT! Suicide is BARELY concsious, but uses his
last OUNCE of strength to climb the cage again!
He gets to the top, and makes the dive again! This time, he GRABS the damn belt, and
manages to WRENCH IT OFF! He falls RIGHT
to the mat, and the crowd EXPLODES!!*
*DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING,
DING!!!!!*
Ralph: HE DID
IT! HE DID IT!! SUICIDE HAS DONE IT!
Yuri: SUICIDE HAS
RETAINED THE ANIME TITLE!!!
*"Breaking
Me Down" starts BLARING over the speakers, as the cage starts to raise up!*
Announcer:
Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner... and STILL UCTF ANIME CHAMPION....
SUICIDE!!!!
Crowd: *HUGE
FUCKING POP!!!*
Ralph: What... a...
WAR of a match!!
Yuri: THIS one...
is for the record books. x_x The first ever
triple stipulation fatal four way match...
WINNER and STILL
UCTF Anime Champion: Suicide
*Suicide is
clutching his belt close to his chest, but is otherwise out COLD! EMT's RUSH the ring, and both attend to Shawn
and Suicide, both of which are battered BEYOND belief!*